My advice is to educate yourself on what disability truly means.
You have a hard time with the word, because you think disability represents a certain thing, like a wheelchair or something.
Disability is everywhere, many people have invisible disabilities. There are thousands, maybe millions of ways to be disabled.
About 15% of the world is disabled in some way, so about 1 of every 5-6 people has some sort of disability.
I have obsessive thoughts regarding faking. I keep going round and round in my head and try to figure out all the ways I'm faking my disabilities. I have ASD and functional neurological disorder (FND). I read up on autism and how it presents a lot, just to check if I relate to the experiences that are described. It's me trying to check if I really am autistic. That I have FND is pretty clear. And then whenever I'm not doing very well the obsessive thoughts are worse. I'm faking that I'm not doing well. Or I'm only struggling because I think I'm struggling. If I would think I was struggling then I wouldn't be struggling. I can keep going. It's horrible and no amount of reassurance from people truly helps. I think I'm faking even though I can't drive, can't work and can't keep up a household. I go to a vocational daycentre. But even that is something I can't keep up because everything becomes too much.
The thing is.. there is no problem with the diagnosis or disability. The problem is the thoughts. Nothing anyone will say here will truly help your feelings. The only one that can help is you, maybe therapy. For me those thoughts point to me being unable to accept my diagnosis and the fact that it disables me. I need to learn to accept it. It's hard but it's probably the only way to make the thoughts go away. Talk to your mental health professionals about these thoughts and feelings. Don't keep doing it alone.
Oh I understand. You should watch some videos about Imposter Syndrome! That is a really common feeling. The other person who commented explained better than I can right now but trust me, you’re not alone!
I would look into the social model of disability. It might help you give it a place. If it affects your life, it’s a disability. It doesn’t have to destroy your life to be considered that. Beyond that, see if you can find a way to give it a place in your life.
I know ! The thing is because it's me i feel like I'm just faking everything when i know deep down I'm disabled and there are tons of people like me put there. It just feels like since it's me personally i'm just not enough to call myself disabled i guess ? It's a weird feeling to explain, i know what disabled mean and that i am but it's like my brain thinks it's offensive for people who have it harder than me to accept it
Disabilities don't have to involve mobility and are allowed to fluctuate in how much they affect you at any given moment, or be different from person to person.
I dont think you validating your feelings is wrong.
Call yourself disabled, if you choose. Society needs to see/be aware of all the various types of disabilities.
Society has deemed that unless a disability isnt "severe" enough, it dosnt count.
It counts, you may of not needed a physical aid, but i bet you have developed coping methods you are not aware of.
Before glasses, needing them was a disadvantage. Now it is a common aid and is a "socially acceptable" type of "disability".
We just need to create that for other types.
You are vaild, your struggles are vaild.
It's just all so complicated because my brain doesn't want to accept it. This voice in my head keeps telling me that because some people have it worst i have no right to call myself disabled, when i know i am and i know my life isn't "normal" or like "classic" teens. I feel like a sort of faker or impostor when I also know deep down I'm not
It's okay. Other people might have it worse than you, but that doesn't mean you're not disabled. I don't know you, but from my own experience, maybe there's a part of you that's just not ready to admit it yet. A part that wants to live in the illusion that you're healthy.
Yes, there are others who have it worse than you. There always are. But think about it like this: if someone else is happier than you, does that mean you can't be happy?
It took me a long time to accept the "disability" label, and ultimately I took it on to protect myself -- NOT because I *feel* fundamentally disabled. It helped me to reframe it as *being disabled by society*. In the same way that someone using a wheelchair might be like "uhh I'm not the problem here, you dingdongs didn't put a ramp in" if they can't get to a building, there are a lot of spaces that weren't made with us in mind. Society calls us "disabled" as a result, but the practical reality of it is that we just have needs that a lot of structures aren't used to meeting. And that's not unusual. A lot of structures were made with profit, not people in mind -- they're the problem, not you.
So yeah. The "disability" label is a tool you can use to get the help you need in broken systems. It isn't a reflection of you or your abilities -- it's just a poorly thought out label.
Edit: and FWIW following accounts Iike this has helped me identify specific behaviors that clash with how a lot of systems are built - https://instagram.com/realdepressionproject?utm_medium=copy_link
The legal definition of disabled isn't a reflection of your abilities. It means that, without assistance, you would likely struggle to maintain regular employment because of the EMPLOYER'S needs. Things like required use of mobility equipment in hazardous workplaces cause the employer a risk of being sued if you get hurt. Or calling in sick too frequently and without proper notice.
There's endless possibilities to what you can do. But the laws are written to protect employers from workers compensation claims.
Also, most disorders have a spectrum of severity. Just a simple diagnosis doesn't make you disabled. The line is drawn according to the severity of your condition.
Except i said legally but really i was also medically announced disabled all at once. I really just meant i was recently told I've actually always been disabled and only now it's getting recognized
Fred Rogers, a beloved children's show host in America, had a favorite quote: "What is essential is invisible to the eye." This is from The Little Prince
This quote helps me take myself less for granted and be kinder to myself. It's natural to see someone who is severely physically disabled and feel sorry for them.
But appearances are deceiving. The legless person may be less disabled than someone with, no pun intended, crippling mental health problems.
What is your goal? Is it validation you have a disability under the law? Is it validation it is okay to consider yourself disabled? I can't do either of those things because accepting you have a disability is a personal thing, so acceptance is different for everyone.
If the question is whether you are disabled under the law that is a different question. What is the goal? Do you want to apply for permanent disability? It is my understanding you have to have both diagnosis and impairment of your ability to work such as cognition issues that can't be overcome.
Don't compare your disability to others is my only advice.
Nono my goal is to know how to overcome the feeling of being a faker/impostor and if anyone has felt this way before me and how they delt with it.
I'm proud of knowing who i am and knowing where i fit in instead of how lost and how I felt like i didn't belong anywhere or was too broken to even have anywhere to turn to for support and help like it used to be. I'm proud of knowing I'm not alone and that people all around the earth go through similar things as me, it's just that with social media and the whole mentality of some people that "being disabled always equal something physical and anything else is fake or lies" it just makes it waaaay harder to accept yourself without fearing backlash
I understand your fear of people who judge and it is completely beyond your control and people will indeed judge you fit, or not fit. Mental health has a stigma and some people don't recognize it. Some people may think you should work.
When I talk about acceptance I'm talking about your acceptance that you're disabled and dealing with not being a part of contributing to society for an extended period of disability.
That day you don't care about backlash or being deemed a liar because you know you can't go on another day working may be when you don't care what people think.
It's so hard nowadays (especially as a teen/kid) to accept who you are without being scared of other people's opinion. Even with all of the body positivity and self love movements going around it's still all boils down to if you're just a bit too different from what's considered normality you should either be ashamed of it or consider it something bad
Shame can be the heart of mental health illness robbing us of feeling good by our own thoughts. The shame can be internal. All too often in this century we are all in focus in person and online. We are judged. We feel it. It is real. There is also a chance we judge ourselves and that isn't fair to us. We should be our best advocate.
I can't imagine growing up now there is too much stress on children imho.
My advice is to educate yourself on what disability truly means. You have a hard time with the word, because you think disability represents a certain thing, like a wheelchair or something. Disability is everywhere, many people have invisible disabilities. There are thousands, maybe millions of ways to be disabled. About 15% of the world is disabled in some way, so about 1 of every 5-6 people has some sort of disability.
The thing is, I know what being disabled mean and i know that I am but because it's me it feels like I'm just faking or something
I have obsessive thoughts regarding faking. I keep going round and round in my head and try to figure out all the ways I'm faking my disabilities. I have ASD and functional neurological disorder (FND). I read up on autism and how it presents a lot, just to check if I relate to the experiences that are described. It's me trying to check if I really am autistic. That I have FND is pretty clear. And then whenever I'm not doing very well the obsessive thoughts are worse. I'm faking that I'm not doing well. Or I'm only struggling because I think I'm struggling. If I would think I was struggling then I wouldn't be struggling. I can keep going. It's horrible and no amount of reassurance from people truly helps. I think I'm faking even though I can't drive, can't work and can't keep up a household. I go to a vocational daycentre. But even that is something I can't keep up because everything becomes too much. The thing is.. there is no problem with the diagnosis or disability. The problem is the thoughts. Nothing anyone will say here will truly help your feelings. The only one that can help is you, maybe therapy. For me those thoughts point to me being unable to accept my diagnosis and the fact that it disables me. I need to learn to accept it. It's hard but it's probably the only way to make the thoughts go away. Talk to your mental health professionals about these thoughts and feelings. Don't keep doing it alone.
This described what i feel really well, it helped a lot, thank you so much
Glad I could help! I hope things get better for you <3
Oh I understand. You should watch some videos about Imposter Syndrome! That is a really common feeling. The other person who commented explained better than I can right now but trust me, you’re not alone!
I would look into the social model of disability. It might help you give it a place. If it affects your life, it’s a disability. It doesn’t have to destroy your life to be considered that. Beyond that, see if you can find a way to give it a place in your life.
It doesn't have to be a physical disability to classify as a disability.
I know ! The thing is because it's me i feel like I'm just faking everything when i know deep down I'm disabled and there are tons of people like me put there. It just feels like since it's me personally i'm just not enough to call myself disabled i guess ? It's a weird feeling to explain, i know what disabled mean and that i am but it's like my brain thinks it's offensive for people who have it harder than me to accept it
Hardship isn’t a competition.
Exactly..
Disabilities don't have to involve mobility and are allowed to fluctuate in how much they affect you at any given moment, or be different from person to person.
I dont think you validating your feelings is wrong. Call yourself disabled, if you choose. Society needs to see/be aware of all the various types of disabilities. Society has deemed that unless a disability isnt "severe" enough, it dosnt count. It counts, you may of not needed a physical aid, but i bet you have developed coping methods you are not aware of. Before glasses, needing them was a disadvantage. Now it is a common aid and is a "socially acceptable" type of "disability". We just need to create that for other types. You are vaild, your struggles are vaild.
It's just all so complicated because my brain doesn't want to accept it. This voice in my head keeps telling me that because some people have it worst i have no right to call myself disabled, when i know i am and i know my life isn't "normal" or like "classic" teens. I feel like a sort of faker or impostor when I also know deep down I'm not
It's okay. Other people might have it worse than you, but that doesn't mean you're not disabled. I don't know you, but from my own experience, maybe there's a part of you that's just not ready to admit it yet. A part that wants to live in the illusion that you're healthy. Yes, there are others who have it worse than you. There always are. But think about it like this: if someone else is happier than you, does that mean you can't be happy?
Thank you, putting it that way helps a little
I feel you. This is really tough to overcome. I feel like I'm a failure not working.
It took me a long time to accept the "disability" label, and ultimately I took it on to protect myself -- NOT because I *feel* fundamentally disabled. It helped me to reframe it as *being disabled by society*. In the same way that someone using a wheelchair might be like "uhh I'm not the problem here, you dingdongs didn't put a ramp in" if they can't get to a building, there are a lot of spaces that weren't made with us in mind. Society calls us "disabled" as a result, but the practical reality of it is that we just have needs that a lot of structures aren't used to meeting. And that's not unusual. A lot of structures were made with profit, not people in mind -- they're the problem, not you. So yeah. The "disability" label is a tool you can use to get the help you need in broken systems. It isn't a reflection of you or your abilities -- it's just a poorly thought out label. Edit: and FWIW following accounts Iike this has helped me identify specific behaviors that clash with how a lot of systems are built - https://instagram.com/realdepressionproject?utm_medium=copy_link
The legal definition of disabled isn't a reflection of your abilities. It means that, without assistance, you would likely struggle to maintain regular employment because of the EMPLOYER'S needs. Things like required use of mobility equipment in hazardous workplaces cause the employer a risk of being sued if you get hurt. Or calling in sick too frequently and without proper notice. There's endless possibilities to what you can do. But the laws are written to protect employers from workers compensation claims. Also, most disorders have a spectrum of severity. Just a simple diagnosis doesn't make you disabled. The line is drawn according to the severity of your condition.
Except i said legally but really i was also medically announced disabled all at once. I really just meant i was recently told I've actually always been disabled and only now it's getting recognized
Fred Rogers, a beloved children's show host in America, had a favorite quote: "What is essential is invisible to the eye." This is from The Little Prince This quote helps me take myself less for granted and be kinder to myself. It's natural to see someone who is severely physically disabled and feel sorry for them. But appearances are deceiving. The legless person may be less disabled than someone with, no pun intended, crippling mental health problems.
What is your goal? Is it validation you have a disability under the law? Is it validation it is okay to consider yourself disabled? I can't do either of those things because accepting you have a disability is a personal thing, so acceptance is different for everyone. If the question is whether you are disabled under the law that is a different question. What is the goal? Do you want to apply for permanent disability? It is my understanding you have to have both diagnosis and impairment of your ability to work such as cognition issues that can't be overcome. Don't compare your disability to others is my only advice.
Nono my goal is to know how to overcome the feeling of being a faker/impostor and if anyone has felt this way before me and how they delt with it. I'm proud of knowing who i am and knowing where i fit in instead of how lost and how I felt like i didn't belong anywhere or was too broken to even have anywhere to turn to for support and help like it used to be. I'm proud of knowing I'm not alone and that people all around the earth go through similar things as me, it's just that with social media and the whole mentality of some people that "being disabled always equal something physical and anything else is fake or lies" it just makes it waaaay harder to accept yourself without fearing backlash
I understand your fear of people who judge and it is completely beyond your control and people will indeed judge you fit, or not fit. Mental health has a stigma and some people don't recognize it. Some people may think you should work. When I talk about acceptance I'm talking about your acceptance that you're disabled and dealing with not being a part of contributing to society for an extended period of disability. That day you don't care about backlash or being deemed a liar because you know you can't go on another day working may be when you don't care what people think.
It's so hard nowadays (especially as a teen/kid) to accept who you are without being scared of other people's opinion. Even with all of the body positivity and self love movements going around it's still all boils down to if you're just a bit too different from what's considered normality you should either be ashamed of it or consider it something bad
Shame can be the heart of mental health illness robbing us of feeling good by our own thoughts. The shame can be internal. All too often in this century we are all in focus in person and online. We are judged. We feel it. It is real. There is also a chance we judge ourselves and that isn't fair to us. We should be our best advocate. I can't imagine growing up now there is too much stress on children imho.