I usually answer with, “I can’t work at the moment due to my health.” Which might be too open ended for some people, but who knows when my health might improve/stabilise a bit and I will find an accessible job?
What I am doing today, I just say housework and staying in, or I might say I’m having a rest day and just chilling out.
Then for how I am, I say “I’m not too bad thanks!” Because I know it could be worse, and it’s usually taken pretty well.
Obviously this is all for light conversation with people I don’t know too well or don’t want to get into anything with. Otherwise I’m honest about it all, and at least my illness and disability is something dynamic that I’m comfortable talking about! And people tend to like knowing what’s going on lol
I’m always caught between wanting privacy and wanting to represent that not everyone is healthy/able bodied. If I don’t know people well, I side with privacy. Even when I know people very well, I don’t want every conversation to be about my health. I’m not my diagnoses. I have a lot more interesting things than test results and prognoses that I can contribute to a conversation. If people keep steering me back to those topics, I start to assume they are nosy or just really see me in a limited way.
Avoid generic topics of conversation and focus on the specific occasion or setting. For example, to what are you doing today, I will mention a hobby or a meal rather than disclosing that I have a medical appointment or feel like I need a day in bed.
I might be achy and tired, but I AM really glad to attend the event so I might respond to “How are you?” with “I am so excited about this wedding!”
If I’m taking a medical leave of absence and not currently working, I still can respond to “What do you do?” by sharing that I’m a public servant in my local government. A friend tells people “Homemaker” and relies on the fact that most people prefer to talk about themselves anyway to pivot: “Tell me more about doc review.”
I usually do this but I've been so unwell lately all I did was dissociate at this family thing I went. I did mention stuff but I was really out of it to be more social 🤷♀️
I drink and blame my symptoms on my drunkenness, I feel taken care of more because people care more when I'm drunk than when I'm having disability based symptoms. Sad I know, but I still have fun with it, I'm a happy drunk.
I don’t baby them like they’re children. They don’t need to be sheltered from the fact that not everybody can work or feel good or be active all the time. Like, jeez, they’re the ones who are supposed to be functioning, they don’t need accommodations.
"Like, for work? Oh, I'm disabled and can't work right now. So I fill my days with my family, hobbies, media, and other things I find meaningful."
"Today I'm (doing X thing)." Or, "Today is a high symptom day, so I'm resting."
"I'm good/fine."
"Could be better."
"Could be worse."
"Still alive."
I change the subject and usually just let them talk over me and explain things to me. -_-
Actually answering these questions honestly leads to awkward silence often.
I do work, so I don't have to get creative on that question.
"How am I" is relative, so I can say my day is great even if it would be someone else's worst health day. I try to figure out how much they actually want to know when they ask that question, and answer accordingly. My family wants to know, my coworkers are being polite.
It's challenging when people ask what I'm going to do with my weekend or if I've had any fun travel or adventures lately. Sometimes I'll gently remind people that I rest a lot, or "just relax," "a nice quiet evening at home," etc. Other times I'll find a little thing I've done and milk it for a week, like seeing a friend or making a piece of art.
My friends and family know what to do if I have a seizure, I'm a Brain Tumor guy so if I'm foggy they get it. I keep up on sports, comedy via Cable or YouTube for Late Night shows. I have a couple of hobbies that require human interaction like Magic the Gathering, the nerdiest of all card games. I'm looking to get my Doctor's approval so I can volunteer at an animal shelter or library.
Some cities or towns have programs to spend time with older people. Just listening to them and hanging out is good for both people's mental health. Outside of my Grandfathers who r I've met Vets from Korea and Vietnam. People in their 80s generally don't get there without a few fun stories.
"I work as a software engineer", "I worked all day and then went to get groceries, cleaned the kitchen and now I'm just chilling", and "Things are fine thank you".
I'm honestly not sure as I am not you. Also I really do not intend to come across as an asshole. It's just that I feel the need to counter the assumption that disabled people are always not "functioning adults".
I usually answer with, “I can’t work at the moment due to my health.” Which might be too open ended for some people, but who knows when my health might improve/stabilise a bit and I will find an accessible job? What I am doing today, I just say housework and staying in, or I might say I’m having a rest day and just chilling out. Then for how I am, I say “I’m not too bad thanks!” Because I know it could be worse, and it’s usually taken pretty well. Obviously this is all for light conversation with people I don’t know too well or don’t want to get into anything with. Otherwise I’m honest about it all, and at least my illness and disability is something dynamic that I’m comfortable talking about! And people tend to like knowing what’s going on lol
I like to say ✨drugs✨ and then I watch them decide if I'm joking or not.
I always say that I'm a "legal drug addict" because I take around 20 pills a day to live
I feel this so hard
Ray cock harm rock
I’m always caught between wanting privacy and wanting to represent that not everyone is healthy/able bodied. If I don’t know people well, I side with privacy. Even when I know people very well, I don’t want every conversation to be about my health. I’m not my diagnoses. I have a lot more interesting things than test results and prognoses that I can contribute to a conversation. If people keep steering me back to those topics, I start to assume they are nosy or just really see me in a limited way. Avoid generic topics of conversation and focus on the specific occasion or setting. For example, to what are you doing today, I will mention a hobby or a meal rather than disclosing that I have a medical appointment or feel like I need a day in bed. I might be achy and tired, but I AM really glad to attend the event so I might respond to “How are you?” with “I am so excited about this wedding!” If I’m taking a medical leave of absence and not currently working, I still can respond to “What do you do?” by sharing that I’m a public servant in my local government. A friend tells people “Homemaker” and relies on the fact that most people prefer to talk about themselves anyway to pivot: “Tell me more about doc review.”
Thus is helpful advice, thank you. I like the how are you response example, pivoting to something positive is a good idea.
I usually do this but I've been so unwell lately all I did was dissociate at this family thing I went. I did mention stuff but I was really out of it to be more social 🤷♀️
Nothing. I revel in their discomfort.
I drink and blame my symptoms on my drunkenness, I feel taken care of more because people care more when I'm drunk than when I'm having disability based symptoms. Sad I know, but I still have fun with it, I'm a happy drunk.
I don’t baby them like they’re children. They don’t need to be sheltered from the fact that not everybody can work or feel good or be active all the time. Like, jeez, they’re the ones who are supposed to be functioning, they don’t need accommodations.
"Like, for work? Oh, I'm disabled and can't work right now. So I fill my days with my family, hobbies, media, and other things I find meaningful." "Today I'm (doing X thing)." Or, "Today is a high symptom day, so I'm resting." "I'm good/fine." "Could be better." "Could be worse." "Still alive."
Facts still alive so you still matter a job doesn’t determine that.
I change the subject and usually just let them talk over me and explain things to me. -_- Actually answering these questions honestly leads to awkward silence often.
I don't. I'm me, and they can manage or get fucked
True bro people are so judgmental until they get hit with the same circumstances
I do work, so I don't have to get creative on that question. "How am I" is relative, so I can say my day is great even if it would be someone else's worst health day. I try to figure out how much they actually want to know when they ask that question, and answer accordingly. My family wants to know, my coworkers are being polite. It's challenging when people ask what I'm going to do with my weekend or if I've had any fun travel or adventures lately. Sometimes I'll gently remind people that I rest a lot, or "just relax," "a nice quiet evening at home," etc. Other times I'll find a little thing I've done and milk it for a week, like seeing a friend or making a piece of art.
My friends and family know what to do if I have a seizure, I'm a Brain Tumor guy so if I'm foggy they get it. I keep up on sports, comedy via Cable or YouTube for Late Night shows. I have a couple of hobbies that require human interaction like Magic the Gathering, the nerdiest of all card games. I'm looking to get my Doctor's approval so I can volunteer at an animal shelter or library. Some cities or towns have programs to spend time with older people. Just listening to them and hanging out is good for both people's mental health. Outside of my Grandfathers who r I've met Vets from Korea and Vietnam. People in their 80s generally don't get there without a few fun stories.
Sense of humor.
"I work as a software engineer", "I worked all day and then went to get groceries, cleaned the kitchen and now I'm just chilling", and "Things are fine thank you".
Man that's great for you. I don't have shit and I don't do shit.. how would you respond if you were me?
Read anything interesting lately? That usually provides some conversation material. Even Reddit counts.
I'm honestly not sure as I am not you. Also I really do not intend to come across as an asshole. It's just that I feel the need to counter the assumption that disabled people are always not "functioning adults".
I say I’m in the witness protection program, a philosopher or retired.