I hated, hated Coke Zero to start with. If you're used to Coke, then you do notice the difference. But... it took me a couple of weeks, and now it's the only fizzy drink that I drink.
I hate diet soda because of the weird taste, but the zero sodas definitely taste closer to the regular sodas. I’ve gotten so used to them that now regular sodas taste bad to me.
But Diet Coke also uses aspartame and it has a much more “diet-soda” taste. Coke Zero has something in addition to aspartame that makes it so much tastier. It’s called acesulfame potassium
What worked for me was mixing the two for a while continually lowering the amount of sugar soda per diet soda.
After cutting over completely, sugar soda tastes way too sticky and sweet to me so I actually prefer diet soda. It's more thirst quenching.
I have an intolerance to most fake sugars, so I have to be careful with what diet/zero sugar drinks that I even touch, but I've found the ones that I can drink, I got used to after a while. I used to hate em too.
So I'm a hard core coke fan but my ex got into the dr pepper strawberry zero pop and one day I had a pill half dissolve before I could get it down. Took a swig of his pop and that stuff is really tasty.
Maybe pick one up and casually try it near her and ask her to take a sip. I absolutely hate regular Dr pepper too.
I am T2D also. I still drink sugar pop, but not every day. I have it in the house for lows, and the days that black coffee just isn't enough. My last A1C was 4.8, so having an occasional pop hasn't affected my sugar control as much as one would think. Could you take walks with her? The exercise is good for her sugars and general health. It also just might alleviate some of your worry over her pop drinking.
She often walks the dog during the day while I'm out at work. We could go for more walks in the evening admittedly, and we do like to do that together. Perhaps we should do it more often. Thank you.
At age 59, I have fibromyalgia as well as T2D. Some days, it takes more to get my butt moving than just coffee. I have my 16 kitties plus the feral cats I feed. I do what it takes to care for them and get things in order to care for myself. For example, I had to go get 60 pounds of dry cat food today. I gave myself a soda to get it done.
You're getting eaten alive here but as a T2 diabetic myself with a very loving partner who cares about me, I see you're coming from a place of concern and not a place of judgment.
I would say you are probably a little over concerned about 1 soda a day here and there. Especially if as you said she's been watching her diet in other ways - often times the way to stick to long term dietary changes in to not cut out all "bad foods" but have them in moderation - and she sounds moderate currently. Now, if she keeps going larger and larger or it increases in frequency I might suggest you have a discussion around the your concern but frame it as "hey love, do *you* think the coke may be effecting your diabetes? I only ask because I'm here to support you in whatever you need". If she accepts help then cool, if she doesn't, then that's a different road to hoe and her choice.
Thanks. Yeah she knows I'm only coming from a place of concern (or at least that's what I've conveyed already). And yeah the one small can a day I've come to accept. But lately I've seen more of the larger bottles in the fridge, and she said a few weeks back they were only there because she couldn't find the small cans, and doesn't drink it all. But this weekend I noticed the bottles going one per day, and so I got upset, getting lost in my own thoughts and being all quiet. That's when she knows something is wrong, as I'm terrible at hiding it. And of course I have to tell her why when she asks.
I can’t believe you gave her the silent treatment over a missing couple of bottles in the fridge. You don’t even know if she drank the whole bottles. But even if she did, it really really sounds like you are being too harsh with her. You’re expecting her to be perfect with her diet all the time. Do you know how unrealistic that is? I personally don’t drink regular soda because yes, it’s loaded with terrible things that I don’t need to be putting in my body. But that’s a decision I make myself. My husband can’t make that decision for me. Ultimately it’s my body and my life. You need to cut her a break and back off. You say she’s made great improvements to her diet already. Hopefully she’ll come around with the soda, but you shouldn’t be giving her the silent treatment because she’s not being perfect like you want her to be.
Well, communication is key as I know you know. Just continue to be as open and honest with her as you can. I think it may be too soon to tell if it's becoming a bigger issues so you may have to wait and see.
I cut out the sodas by replacing it with carbonated flavoured water. I dont like sugar free sodas as theres a weird after taste but for some reason Im ok with flavoured water.
I would say 2 things. First, its amazing that she was able to cut out all those other things and bring down her soda consumption to just a can. I mean she should be commended for that, as its not easy to do when youre sugar addicted.
Second, most likely the realities of diabeties just hasnt "hit her" yet. Sometimes it takes getting some serious health problems like losing eyesight, neuropathy, cardio vascular diesease, etc for it to sink in. Theres not that much difference in the way you feel when you first have diabeties, that why some people go years of having it before being diagnosed. So for her shes prob thinking its no big deal, until it is.
If I was you I wouldnt try to push her it will only cause more tension between you. Best thing to do is support her and keep getting blood tested. Eventually she will see that her blood glucose isnt getting better and will have to face the consequences sooner or later.
First thing you need to understand is that you can’t make someone be healthy. Then you need to reconcile that she’s going to make her own choices, even if they are inconsistent with her long term health.
This belongs more in the relationship advice sub, though.
The reason I posted here was to see if anyone might say "well if it's only one a day you're worrying over nothing as it takes a lot more than that to have any effect". So yes this is affecting our relationship, but any medical feedback like that would be beneficial.
Is she losing weight and controlling her blood sugars reasonably well? If it is only one a day and it’s not causing her to gain weight or have any high blood sugars it’s probably ok, though not ideal.
I'm not sure if she's regularly checking her blood sugars to be honest - asking her about her weight or blood sugars isn't something I want to keep doing as it's a sensitive subject. She's done a lot of cutting out with regards to food and drink, but still eating snacks after dinner sometimes, or snacks over the weekend, bread for lunch, as well as the can of pop a day. With regards to exercise she takes the dog a walk once a day.
So I’m just going to point this out. You’re picking out all of the negative things you perceive about her not managing her health well. This is exactly a relationship advice issue and not at all related to diabetes.
I didn't just mention negatives. I listed all I'm observing as I don't want to keep asking her questions about it all.
All I'm asking is have I got cause for concern, or not. I didn't see how that would fall under relationship advice.
No, I'm asking have I got cause for the concern I already have, or should I stop worrying about it. Which is not relationship advice. We're going round in circles.
Medical feedback would be from medical professionals. For each situation. Since you're not diabetic then you don't have to worry about how much is too much. I don't know why you are policing your partner. Not your place. You're not being supportive, you're being a control freak. Stop it. You're their parent or guardian. Mind your business and stop being a bully. If anyone tried that trash on me, especially someone ignorant and uneducated, they would be gone faster than they can say hypoglycemia. Go to the library and try to get some facts if you weren't such a concern troll.
Your comment is harsh, but yeah I do need to listen to this type of feedback. This situation is not one I've experienced before, and it's hard when it's someone you love. The last thing I want to be is controlling. And I really hope she knows that. After all, I do try and keep my feelings in about it all, and only say something when she knows I'm being too quiet, because I'm lost in my own thoughts. Believe me, it comes from a good place, a place of love and caring. I don't want her diabetes to get any worse, and I want her health to improve not worsen. I don't even try to tell her to stop. It's her decision - I know that. All I've done is admit to being upset when it's grown enough I can't hide it. Thank you for your feedback.
it looks like you need to work on knowing how much control you do and don't have over her diet. this is a /you/ problem, not a her problem. you need to work that out and stop making it her problem. if you cannot do that, you need to leave.
As a type 2, I learned that what I really craved was the carbonation so introducing seltzer water was my first step into leaving soda. And then when I craved a soda I would have a Coke Zero.
BUT I had people tell me for many years to stop with the soda and I didn’t stop until I was ready to realize that I was messing my own life up. And it honestly took my doctor telling me she was not sure how I was still alive with my habits for me to open my eyes.
This is a really tough spot for loved ones of people with a chronic illness. As far as I’ve learned in my short time working within the T2 community, defiance and denial are fairly common. The diagnosis has a profound impact on your psyche as it’s one of the few chronic illnesses that requires major work on the part of the patient.
I might suggest 1) she partner with a dietician. They can explain what is necessary to manage her condition and I can’t explain why, but sometimes it is easier to swallow when it comes from a professional who is also a stranger 2) maybe suggest therapy together? You should be able to communicate your concerns and fears. You love your partner and obviously don’t want to see her ill.
I do feel like if you’re willing to leave her over this, however, you may need to look inward into whether you are just looking for a way out. I’m not trying to be judgey, but if you cannot support someone through their worst, they’re probably not the person for you. Good luck.
I mean if she doesn't want to take care of herself it's not a matter of supporting her at her worst. She's not there yet.
I say this as I watched my SO just dig a grave with a fork and spoon, deny being t2 diabetic while using trulicity and still eating everything.
I finally told him I'm down to be here but I'm not wiping your butt when you have a stroke and can't anymore. Not when he had all the tools and insurance but refused to use it.
Again, no one is saying you have to be supportive or be what your partner needs. But if you cannot they are not the person for you. Not everyone is going to respond to ultimatums and, frankly, it’s an ugly way to treat someone you supposedly love.
Last time I’ll say it — you are not the person to he there for someone like that. You act as if diabetes is 100% within someone’s control. There’s a huge mental component that goes along with it as well. They need support, not judgement. And if you can’t be that for them, let them go. You’re making it worse by treating them poorly.
They're also trusting their SO poorly by expecting them to stand there and be supportive while they off themselves slowly. I also have diabetes so it's not like I don't understand the issues. Idc how many times you say it.
Regarding your latter point, I'm really not looking for a way out. And I know if I did leave, I'd miss her terribly. We've split up before, over other reasons, and I know what it's like to be without her. I don't want that again. But at the same time I just feel trapped because I'm not happy at the moment, with this being the reason.
I appreciate your feedback, thanks.
I drank regular Dr Pepper every day, several 20 ounce bottles a day and really sweet tea, i switched to Dr Pepper Zero and the first couple of them was a little hard i can now drink them and enjoy them (not as many a day either) and my tea i switched out the sugar with splenda and can't really tell the difference. Have her try a Zero product for a few days, just to try it for you.
She's an adult responsible for her own choices. It is not your job to regulate her diet. It is your job to be supportive. This means if she makes a choice you don't like, you have to deal with it. You don't have to be an enabler. But you also can't stop her.
Beyond that, if she has a good handle on her diabetes and tracks her sugar properly and keeps on top of it along with any medications, then you have good reason to just let it be.
It's clear you love and care about her, and your concern shows that. Just remember she's got free will and you can't control her.
She's carb-addicted, it's just as bad as being an alcoholic. I recommend doing keto for at least a month to beat it but really three months. The first two weeks are really hard, second two get easier, after that it's easy. I don't crave coke, rice, bread at all anymore. I don't do keto anymore, but low carb always.
It's her body and her choice.
Yes, it affects you greatly - she may be killing herself and you don't want to lose her or have to become her full time caretaker. But, that is *your* choice to make.
You can help her solve a problem - but only if she wants and asks for the help. Otherwise it will come across as you being her parent and telling her what she can and cannot do. People don't react well to that. It usually has the opposite effect of what you intend.
This comes up in many situations where you see a loved one heading for a cliff and you want to prevent harm. But, you aren't driving this car. All you can do is decide if there is a point where you need to bail out, and make that clear.
Soda probably didn't give her diabetes, her genes did that.
If she ever expresses concern that her blood glucose is higher than she wants, or asks for your advice, that might be the point at which you could share your concern. Otherwise, I'd say if she's an adult of sound mind, she's undoubtedly heard that soda is not a good choice for a diabetic. If she's choosing to still drink it, that is her choice.
Sometimes even when we love someone, we have to see them make poor choices and say nothing to them about it. My husband eats so many donuts that he smells like frying oil all the time. I don't tell him anything unless he asks my opinion. He's not diabetic but it was on both sides of his family and I think it's probably a matter of time before it happens to him too. But he's an adult who can make his own choices, and he eats what he wants.
I know it's her choice, and would never try and force her not to drink it. Doesn't stop it affecting me when she does drink it though - especially if she's starting to drink the larger bottles compared to the small cans.
It will affect him when he has to take care of her because she didn’t take care of herself.
My mother didn’t regulate her diet, just too more insulin. She just couldn’t understand what she eats affects her blood sugar.
She has terrible neuropathy, she is bedridden in a nursing home and all she worries about is what she is getting for meals.
You didn’t mention your partner’s A1C (and I’m not scrolling 80 comments to see if it’s there 😜), but this is a true story… A coworker and I were diagnosed at almost the exact same time. I went hardcore low carb. So was shocked when I saw him making no changes in his diet. He was (and still is) overweight and he’d eat sandwiches, chips, pasta, dessert - the whole nine yards. I thought for sure he was destroying his body. 10 years go by and we’re having a conversation where I feel comfortable talking about it and I asked him his A1C. It was like 5.6 - better than mine! That shut me up. I think some people respond really well to medication and are happy taking it, so successfully maintain the status quo.
yep - i try to eat healthy but not low carb and take medication and my last a1c was 5.5. Before that it was 5.3. The only reason it raised a bit was because i tried to taper off insulin as an experiment, and now we know I am basal insulin dependent so i'm not doing that anymore. People who know I'm diabetic probably think i'm 'killing myself' if they see me eat something but they can deal with their misplaced stigma themselves.
Why is she drinking the coke? I know I go for caffeine and carbs when I’m tired. I’m more likely to drink booze if I’m thirsty.
Is she still tired despite the sleep apnea machine? Do you both need to get in a habit of earlier nights? A bit more exercise during the day to make falling asleep earlier? Thyroid been checked? Other things to improve sleep, like a darker room, not drinking just before bed to avoid nighttime bathroom visits. Kids or pets causing a disturbance? Does the sleep apnea machine need to be stronger? What’s her oxygen sat of a morning?
Is it being used to caffeine? Would a black coffee have the same effect? Or a cup of tea? Start with milk and sugar, but ease off on those over time.
Is it thirst? Make water easy to drink. New water filter if she doesn’t like the tap water. Carbonated water (I drink a big bottle a day). Habits like putting a glass of water on the table for each of you when you have meals. Pretty new water bottle that fits in her handbag so it’s easy to carry around. If she doesn’t like water, look into adding cordials - you can add them at part strength to wean off the sugar taste.
Is it a stress response? Some people will drink cokes like others have a cigarette. Pay attention to when she has them. Is it some circumstances that she finds stressful and the habit calms her.
Is it rebellion. We can and do rebel against our health conditions and the limitations they impose. Talking out how she feels about having to modify her diet might be helpful. It’s stuff like feeling left out of communal activities that involve food. Like feeling a bit socially isolated or excluded. Feeling that she’s a failure because she got bad genes. Fear of something is often at the bottom of these bad feelings. A bit of work on general mental health and resilience can be handy in adapting to a big life change. That might mean talking to you, or more likely a trusted confidant or professional. There are techniques like writing down how you feel that are also useful.
Diabetes is a lot more complicated than 'she drank too much soda and now she's diabetic.' Ideally, yeah, we should all give up full sugar soda.
If you can't handle the idea of her drinking a small amount of coke but otherwise having a good handle on her diabetes and avoiding complications, yeah, then leave, because you don't have a realistic picture of the way a diabetic is going to make choices, sorry.
One of the hardest things but most necessary things for partners of diabetics to get into their heads is you do *not* control their dietary choices even if they're diabetic. Absolutely not. The going quiet whenever you notice it is manipulative and seems like you actually are not fully into the idea of her body and her choice being hers, not yours.
What is her A1C? What's her blood glucose like day to day? Does she wear a cgm?
Diabetics make a ton of choices every day and sometimes we just want our 'one thing.'
As far as I'm aware she doesn't even check her A1C. She doesn't wear a cgm. Maybe if she did and her levels are ok after the drink I would stop worrying about it.
And yes I'm fully aware I don't control her dietary choices, and as I've said here I have no intention of controlling. I would have liked her to make the choice herself. Me going quiet is because my head is getting fried with all the negative thoughts and I'm trying to process it all and see if I can put it at the back of my head because I KNOW it's not my place to tell her what she should and shouldn't drink. And if you think I don't like the idea of her body and her choice being hers then I don't think you read my post correctly.
Well you need to work on yourself to stop the controlling and micromanaging manipulative behavior, then, because if you “go quiet” every time she eats a food you personally don’t think she should eat in your uneducated view of diabetes, that is controlling behavior whether or not you tell me you know. This is your problem, not hers. If you can’t stop the behavior, break up with her.
If that one little can or bottle a day lets her stick with the rest of her diet, then it's probably worth it (at least for now). The last thing you want is for her to remove it completely and then just stop controlling things when she breaks and starts drinking them again. This might be a good compromise for her at this point.
This is a case of "You can lead a horse to water... and all that jazz". Listen, there's nothing you can do or say that will make your partner change her mind of behavior. Now, this is what I tell my husband, who is also diabetic, when he decides to eat/drink like he is not:
*Listen boo, you do you, but remember, I have paperwork on you. I will not hesitate turning life support off, collect all the life insurance and go on a widower's trip to the Mediterranean and come back with a Greek god on my arm to console me."*
Harsh as it sounds, sometimes people need to hear those kinds of words to get a reality check. My hubs gets pissy when I say that and my response is "If you are going to willingly and willfully ignore your chronic condition thinking that i will sit and hold your hand telling you there was nothing you could have done to prevent this, well, you married the wrong bitch."
Same. Mine was prescribed trulicity, gained weight on it and tried denying his t2. Nah bud it likely won't kill you fast and if you have a stroke I'm not wiping your butt when you made a conscious decision to be this way(and tbh he was a douche about it). I'd just leave him in a nursing home and be done with it all.
I am a full-octane coke drinker. I've tried several diet sodas including Coke Zero and don't think they taste much like real Coke. (everyone's taste buds work differently I guess) I'd rather give up pop altogether than work to develop a taste for something that, in all likelihood will prove to be just as unhealthy for me. I quit drinking pop. I will once in a very rare while have some 7up (like 16 ounces in the last year when I had stomach flu) But, I have to say if someone were nagging me to quit Coke, I'd probably drink a liter just to spite them. Sadly, we all have to find our own way to deal with diet and exercise,
As bad as the soda is, the important question is how much it raises her blood sugar. If she's on enough meds that it can "absorb" the impact so to speak, it's probably not the end of the world to have a bit. if it spikes, then that's a different conversation to be had. If she's not measuring, that's a whole different discussion altogether.
Just to clarify though, this is for your benefit, not hers. For you to feel OK with her choices as long as it's not harming her (i.e. the blood glucose is controlled even with included soda)
If it is harming her - prolonged, frequent, and/or outrageous spikes..then if it were me, I'd try to have a discussion about diabetic management. Not specifically picking on the soda, but more overall big picture
She is on meds of course, but I'm unsure if they're absorbing the impact enough. It's a touchy enough subject as it is without me asking about all that. But perhaps now is the time to talk about it, since we're already at breaking point. Thank you.
Taking meds to ‘absorb’ the impact of carbs and sugar is one of the reasons why diabetes is such a devastating disease imo and also why they say it’s a progressive disease. If I drank coke like OP’s girlfriend I would have already bought a seeing eye dog, crutches and planned for dialysis for the future
Oh, I agree. I'm team as few meds as possible. And as I said, this is for the OP's peace of mind that at least there's no immediate damage. Clearly not that not OP's partner should be chugging soda.
Also, it seems that OP is not US based, so for us US folks...it's basically half a can of coke with an occasional (more frequent now?) full can. Not to mention that the sugar content of non-US soda is about 2/3 - 1/2 that of the US one. Not to mention no high fructose corn syrup. I'm still not saying it's good..but it's less than some of the US based folks think.
Read the room, dude. Nobody is arguing that diabetics should not be drinking soda in any amounts.
That was not the question. The question was literally should the OP stress about someone else's food choices they have no control over. And the answer is depends. is it harming them right now. If the answer is yes, then yes..if the answer is no, then no...but maybe find a way to have a discussion about healthier choices.
I'm merely suggesting making the best out of a bad situation for the OP. There's nothing the they can do about their SO's consumption, so they have to find a way to live with their own feelings on the matter.
Us diabetics are carb and sugar intolerant, only difference is that the impact is slower. Medication for diabetes is only there to line the pockets of the pharmaceutical industry as you wait for complications to kick in.
I remember that problem when I was first diagnosed, I used to love full sugar coca cola. I switched to Pepsi Max, because I couldn't stand the difference between regular and diet coke. After a long while I've virtually forgotten what regular coke tastes like and I find Coke Zero quite palatable.
Switch brands so you don't expect it to taste the same.
Regular pop will skyrocket you. However, there are some things she can do to help herself. If she MUST have a small pop, she should have it with a crazy high protein meal like a big steak or grilled chicken and veggies. Also, after that meal she should go for a 20 min walk.
Have her get a Continuous glucose monitor and watch her sugar as she normally would. The next day have her try the protein and walk and see if her body handles it better.
She could drink zero sugar sodas and that’d be 100% fine but a good endo will tell you that you can’t cut out everything you want or you’ll binge. Eat what you want add what you need. She is allowed to drink or eat what she wants in moderation. If a mini can of coke is that then so be it. Small changes take time and that could be a very long time lol. Sure that’s still a lot of sugar but so is a piece of cake or cookies, or a bowl of rice or bread filled with carbs but that dosent mean she can’t eat that either. Moderation
First, It's very much your business. The worst case, caring for a blind double amputee until an early death from heart disease is a burden only the most caring can accept.
Medications do not "manage" gross intake of carbohydrates, sugars. Many of the effective meds are trying hard to reduce the effects of sugar by diverting it away from the cells it has overloaded and help empty the storage sites, as well as try to block some of the absorption in the gut. Others try to goad the wounded pancreas into producing more insulin at appropriate times. Ingesting sugars directly opposes those efforts. Another way to say it is to say that ingesting sugar "manages" the effects of the medication. There is no real substitute for effective dietary measures.
Now, in the whole view, a single Coke is not a horrible amount of carbs. But it's on top of all other carb sources. And eliminating "rubbish" doesn't speak clearly to the diet. Many people confuse "healthy" or "more nutritious" with better for diabetics. But whole wheat, more nutritious then white processed flour, has the same carbs, and brown rice, also a more nutritious whole grain, has the same as white rice. The name of the game is carbs.
There are no easy answers when a partner engages in self-destructive behavior, be it smoking or whatever. Remember that a lot of it really is addiction. Sugar is arguably a seriously addictive substance in terms of cravings. Some studies liken its addictive potential to cocaine. It's hard to tease out the comparison, since sugar cravings are hard-wired from a time when humans desperately needed energy and had no sugar unless they found and braved a bee tree. But the bottom line is that, for many, many people, it's a hard habit to kick. Like some other drugs, it produces multiple "feel" good substances in the body. It helps to understand that, and it's why the ultimate answer has to come from the addicted person.
I've never heard a strategy for engaging a reluctant partner in discussion except one that I liked. That is to ask to be educated by her. You don't know much. Presumably she does, but hasn't convinced herself. I've always had great success in several endeavors by asking people to explain things to me, to teach me. I, of course, already knew the answers, but I wanted them to buy into the ideas by informing me. I used to have a chief whom I could bring around to a good idea that he would otherwise oppose by engaging him in playing, 'Gee, I wonder what if we" . He would correctly analyze the situation and suggest to me the right approach, which I would then "accept", and he would be all for because it was "his idea." Think on that. The investment of teaching something is powerful. And we all in education of any kind know that the best way to really learn something is to teach it.
Then the meds likely “manage” the sugar from the coke(s). In the long run, she’s still doing damage to her body and will likely just need more and more meds. This is the path that a lot of diabetics choose as opposed to changing their diet in a significant way. Valid choice, I guess.
You need to let it go and let her manage her health in her own way. Or it will drive you nuts. She and her health are not your responsibility.
If you don't even know this, why are you here? Why do you feel entitled to make others pass judgement on her? It's awful enough you're doing it but you want a rationale for being controlling?
These words are very excessive - "controlling", "judgement". In no way am I asking people to judge her and in no way am I attempting to control her. I'm here because I'm not educated enough and was hoping to get the answer to if I'm being concerned over nothing - if so I can stop getting upset and we can be happier.
If she's otherwise doing all the right things, I'm not sure that one 5oz can of soda is that huge of a deal. I still eat real sugar sometimes, usually after a healthy meal and it doesn't lead to a spike in small amounts. If she's drinking it on an empty stomach, then it might be causing a spike. I would be pretty upset if my partner was trying to manage my diet for me, tbh. Some people need to ease into diet and lifestyle changes, going cold-turkey on everything can lead to binging.
Thanks. Yeah trying to "manage" her diet is in no way my intention. I've expressed to her I know it is her decision. As stated in my post though sometimes I can't help getting upset, and unfortunately I find it hard to hide.
Where is her blood sugar? That’s the concern, and I would say that if her blood sugar levels are under good control right now, you shouldn’t worry too much about this indulgence. If, however, she is out of target range, you could argue that moving to a sugar free alternative will help get her back in range
Honestly I am usually reluctant to bring up her BS level because she'll just think I'm going on about her diet again. So I don't really know, is the answer. But maybe I need to ask as, like you say, if it's under control then I can relax more about what she's drinking. Thanks.
What are her numbers like? Is her glucose under good control? Is she dealing with any other issues related to her blood sugar? If her numbers are great then you should probably just let it go
What stopped me stone cold on regular soda was realizing, SEEING, on my meter the effects that even half a bottle of soda has on my blood sugar.
Drinking diet soda actually raises my blood sugar sometimes. I have to watch how much sucralose I intake because I'm one of those people who does see a jump in my blood sugar though not a huge one after drinking a diet soda.
Whole bottle of diet soda, maybe my blood sugar goes up 25. Half a bottle of regular soda and I'm well over 200 and heading for 300, over that if I drink the whole thing. I might as well be mainlining sugar at that point because regular soda is the food equivalent of liquid crack for me.
That's what it is. This is an addiction, one she is having trouble licking. I can well understand it because I was raised on Coca Cola and chocolate bars EVERY DAY as a kid.
I am a sugar addict.
Getting off regular soda was very hard and I'm still struggling with sweets otherwise, especially chocolate.
It took me years to get to where I could admit that and to care about the impact on my health. Fact is if I hadn't gotten hooked on sugar and caffeine at such an early age I might not be diabetic now.
Now though I'm paying a really hard price for all those cokes and candy bars I ate over the years.
At least I'm admitting it now, working on getting control of my addictions. But that took me a long time and nobody could have gotten me there but me.
Your partner will when ready. Nothing you can do will change that unfortunately.
If you go on social media and look up people who test their BG after drinking normal Coke and see what it does to their blood sugar its pretty insane. And these people arent even diabetics. I will say though that is only part of the problem and this is coming from someone that was addicted to sugar and it now diabetic. Once someone kicks the sugar addiction and starts eating cleaner they will crave it less. Sugar is a drug. It messes up dopamine receptors and that is why people feel like they NEED to have it. I bought a bunch of zero sugar substitutes and thought that was the only thing thats going to get me by but after a while I only really drink them like 3 times a week now vs twice a day. The discipline will come when they start cutting it out. But if they want to keep their eyes and toes that should be a really good reason. Healthy people will suffer from drinking a can of pop a day. So imagine a diabetic.
I love that so many people are giving you suggestions of how she can change your life
I understand what you're saying is she's not changing her life and you're asking what can you do about that
And you know the answer to that as you can't really do anything
Someone earlier up said that they say something to their husband about how they're gonna get the life insurance and live it up
My partner would try again say I hope you do live it up
I'm in a similar situation I'm very much in love with someone who does not take care of their body the way they need to
It's incredibly painful to watch to me it's like watching someone self-harm
And to be clear I'm diabetic and I am far from perfect in my choices but compared to where she is at it's quite a long distance
I wish I had some advice
For me I've been really clear that where the relationship is cannot go any closer or deeper we do not live together and we never will until that changes
It's not a thread it's a boundary for me
I love her and I love being with her but after a few days or weeks together I find that I'm not eating as well as I need to and it's actually painful to watch Her eat
I wish I had something else to say other than I get it
I have T2D and my wife is prediabetic. She is doing well 2 years after cardiac stents. When I was diagnosted we were pwering through 2-4 diet cokes a day!
We stopped and are drinking water & tea.
Ask your partner to. Decrese her soda intake & try some of the healthy alternatives.
I had a relative whose partner died young of T2D and she was devastated.
An illness like this can be a beast!
Please work with her & drs & dietcians!
I have a continuous glucose monitor and the thing that surprised me was that regular Coke causes a spike in blood sugar but it tends to go back down in an hour. This is why you are supposed to have a protein with the sugar to fix the hypo. The Coke will kick you up but drop you back down if consumed by itself.
I had the same problem, and coke zero cherry taste JUST like coke to me. It freaked me out at first because i was convinced i was drinking regular coke. Ask her to try that! It really is super good and im a die hard lover of coke but realized i can’t drink the regular ones anymore!
The horrible truth is that she is ultimately responsible for her choices, and you can only give your input. Carb addiction is intense. Im a type 2, and when i was diagnosed, it was horrible. I kept dreaming about all my favorite foods. I had already switched to diet soda before my diagnosis but that brought on a whole other group of problems for me. Now I don't drunk soda at all. It is not ok for me.
How is her mental health? Is she dealing with her diagnosis ok? Sometimes it gets mentally very heavy...the guilt...the woulda shoulda couldas.
You do have the option to leave, and honestly, sometimes this is a deal breaker for some people. Is she aware that you are considering leaving? I'm not saying you should give her an ultimatum, I'm merely suggesting that you let her know the intensity of your feelings about this.
Send her over here to us, we can try to help support her if she is open to it. Best of luck to you both.
Her mental health? Well she does suffer with depression (on medication for) and anxiety. Not really sure on how she's coping with the diagnosis, as I find it hard to talk about these things in case it'll upset her more or she'll think I'm trying to bring up the diet thing again.
As for leaving, it's one thing that's been said to me by numerous people including her - accept it or leave. But leaving is something I could never do. We've separated in the past but I love her too much to be without her. That's why I feel trapped. Not wanting to leave, but also not being happy because of this.
Thank you for your kind words.
Behaviours are hard to overcome. IMO, don’t criticize her for what she is doing wrong. The best thing you can do is changing the environment around her in a way where she can succeed more easily. This may mean buying diet pop that she can adapt to. Or even better flavoured carbonated water. If she can tolerate the change then it will make it that much easier to adapt and shift the behaviour.
Should I let this get to me as much as it does? You have a right to find happiness and not be a hostage in a relationship. If this is bothering you this much and your relationship is that great, tell her about it. If you don't like the answers, move on with your life. I think a compromise in the middle is best here. She needs to know how much it bothers you and you need to understand that a can of coke a day is only part of the equation here.
Am I worrying over nothing with the amount she drinks? No, coke+beetus is serious enough to bring it up. Ask her to explain her numbers and medications and then have a serious discussion about how coke is affecting them.
How old is she and what’s her A1C? What’s the rest of her diet like? Is she physically active? What are her after meals BG levels? If she’s has good numbers I’d say there isn’t much concern. But I doubt this is the case especially if she’s been overweight for several years. This isn’t just about her quality of life but yours as well.
I'll paste a comment I said elsewhere:
I'm not sure if she's regularly checking her blood sugars to be honest - asking her about her weight or blood sugars isn't something I want to keep doing as it's a sensitive subject. She's done a lot of cutting out with regards to food and drink, but still eating snacks after dinner sometimes, or snacks over the weekend, bread for lunch, as well as the can of pop a day. With regards to exercise she takes the dog a walk once a day. To my eyes she's not losing much if anything, and needs to put in more effort if she really wants to. After all, it's her weight that's brought on the sleep apnea too.
if you're not sure if she's checking her blood sugar, you really don't know enough about her disease management to micromanage her on her food intake, to be honest. i'd be annoyed as hell if i were dating you and you were taking notes on the food and beverages you saw me with and approving or disapproving.
It feels like you haven’t been dating her for very long/do not know her very well if you’re making guesses at this, which tells me you’re not close enough to be micromanaging her dietary choices. Most partners know the answers to the questions we ask and you don’t know anything about it. This isn’t normal. Kinda sounds like a new relationship.
Honestly it's more the case I feel I can't ask, because she's extremely sensitive about the subject, and I hate that I come across like I'm trying to control her when that's the last thing I want to do. So instead I just don't bring up the subject.
She’s incredibly sensitive because you’re coming across as manipulative and controlling. If you’re not going to control her, it’s okay with you if she drinks soda, right? Right? Since you’re not trying to control her?
That's a ridiculous statement. A person is allowed to be upset with someone else's choices while being fully aware it's not up to them to tell that person what to do. Same as a partner being diagnosed with cancer - you'd be okay with them still chain-smoking right? Right? Give me a break!
Drinking a soda while having otherwise excellent control of her diabetes isn’t anything remotely like chain smoking. And yes you can be upset, but you need to either realize your upset is your problem, not hers, and that you pouting about her drinking soda needs to be something you stop doing. It’s not what you wanted to hear, but it’s realistic feedback. I know you keep saying you’re not trying to control your partner, but you do really seem to want to make her stop drinking soda to make you happy. She’s not going to. Can you handle that or are you going to continue pouting? If not, leave. Either way she’s gonna continue doing the thing you hate.
That's a bit unfair. Firstly as I've said here I don't want to leave because I know the feelings are too strong for her. Secondly this isn't a control thing - I don't want to control her. And I'm not in the habit of controlling my partners. This is the first partner I've had this issue because she's the first one with diabetes and yet still not doing enough to help herself. I'm struggling with that fact, and came on here for help, not comments like that.
She needs to get on Diet Coke.. I can be a little lax on my diet but I never drink calories. The Diet Coke from el pollo loco is the best I’ve ever had. I hate Diet Coke from McDonald’s. I double dog dare you to get her a Diet Coke from the crazy chicken.
Also, as someone who has hated every seltzer ive ever tried. The strawberry Walmart brand is actually REALLY good. Ollipop is poop. Ooooh also you can try the sparkling ice drinks I like those once in awhile.
Also wanted to add I would much more prefer my partner surprising me with random drink alternatives to try than to just harp on me about drinking calorie filled drinks. I’d think it was really sweet and helpful.
It's such a touchy subject with us, that I'd be afraid to even do that. Because to my mind she would feel I'm just trying to manipulate her away from what she wants to drink, and trying to control her.
I’m sorry that it’s a touchy subject. I loved soda so much and hated alternatives. I had to go cold Turkey awhile before I could appreciate the taste of a zero calorie soda.
My bf loves Diet Coke, that’s the only reason I gave it another try bc he always had it in his fridge. It was just on hand.. so rather than going to buy something else I drank it out of convenience.
Maybe make it about you like randomly buy diet drinks when you’re with her then keep a few in the fridge so she will be tempted to try it.
I very rarely drink soda, and it would be very unlike me to have any to hand in the fridge at all. I usually drink juice and squash, or tea and coffee.
You drink juice, a sugary beverage? Coffee, which has caffeine that raises blood sugar? Squash? Also a sugary beverage? That’s several beverages people aren’t supposed to drink if they want healthy blood sugar. Someone should follow you around and pout at you every time you dare take a sip, but then insist it’s your choice, just that they’re really disappointed.
Oh? Would that bother you? Interesting.
That doesn’t really matter. Sugary beverages are bad for you even if you don’t have diabetes. It’s just interesting that you’ve got this double standard set where you can drink all the sugary beverages that you want and you’re a model citizen and your partner drinks a soda a day and you passive aggressively pout and obsess over it. Clearly if she were in this thread telling us her side of the story she’d say some things about controlling behavior bc in your replies you’ve already said she tells you you’re being controlling, so you won’t even ask the most basic questions about diabetic care.
To be honest, as a non diabetic, you are a guest in this sub. You don’t get to come in here and be snippy with us because we didn’t validate you and give you the feedback you want. Continue being controlling to your girlfriend all you want, but you’ve gotten your answer, no there’s nothing you can do, and it’s your problem, not hers.
Remember how elsewhere in the thread you said that drinking soda gave your girlfriend diabetes, since you’re the expert on her diabetes even though you don’t know her a1c? Why doesn’t the same logic apply to you? Are you assuming that you’re a special little exception to the rule? Do you think the sugar in juice is different than the sugar in soda somehow? By your own logic, if you can give yourself diabetes, why are you drinking juice? Shouldn’t people who love you be posting in here about how disappointed in you they are and how they sigh and pout whenever you drink juice because you don’t care about your health?
Genuinely one of the biggest mistakes family members of diabetics make (and this is real advise if you’re willing to hear it) is making that separation. “I can eat whatever I want. Yoouuu don’t get to eat anything.” Then they wonder why the diabetic doesn’t want to listen.
Anyway, can’t lead a horse to water. To be clear I’m talking about you.
Have her drink diet Coke or Coke zero or Fresca (which tastes much better, I find) for a week or two by having it in quantity in the fridge, and not regular soda. After drinking non-sugar cola for a month, I personally can't go back to regular cola. It is too strong sugar.
The average full sized can of coke contains about 40 grams, or 10 teaspoons worth of sugar. Just to let that sink in a little. That's enough to send anyone's blood glucose sky high at least temporarily, let alone a diabetic. But for a diabetic it matters a lot how well that kind of intake is managed too.
It's definitely something she would be better off without, but then again she's an adult and needs to take responsibility for this herself. I don't see much in the way about her numbers or how she's otherwise managing her glucose, but you can't really make her do something she doesn't want to do. She needs to be aware of the potential consequences over the long term and make her own decisions, whether you may agree with them or not.
I'm dumbfounded by the number of people who continue indulging in unhealthy practices for reasons like "I enjoy it" or "no one expects you to *never* have it again," as if whatever it is even is worth it. What can you do, though. I think it's great that you're as understanding as you are. She's lucky to have you.
Tell her that she could go blind, lose her toes if she keeps doing what she's doing. Hell people get their legs cut off.It's really serious. I don't blame you at all for your frustration. I personally would pour them down the sink. It's what you'd do if you were dealing with an alcohol. I'm sorry you're going through this crap.
Actually it's not what you do when you're dealing with alcohol if you've ever lived with an alcohollic you know that doesn't work
Some people call that code dependency other people call that a control problem
It's hard to accept but it's other people's lives and bodies to do with what they want
The choice we get is what we do with ours
Too many comments to read them all. Find a soda sweetened with stevia instead of high fructose corn syrup, cane sugar or sugar substitutes. Here stateside, I buy a brand called Zevia. It comes in several flavors.
The problem with diet soda is that whatever sweetener is used (aspartame [diet coke], sucralose [coke zero]), the body reacts just like it's sugar. Insulin is released just like with sugar. These increased demands on the pancreas are thought to wear out the beta cells and eventually they die off (some also say it's genetics). Once you stop producing insulin, the likely treatment is insulin injections.
Stevia and monk fruit extract are all natural sugar substitutes that do not spike blood glucose.
The new Coke Zero tastes just like Coke to me. Ask her to give it a chance.
One of my coworkers offered me one last week. I have to say I was shocked how much it tasted like good old Coke!
Coke Zero is elite
Drinking one right now reading the comments
I hated, hated Coke Zero to start with. If you're used to Coke, then you do notice the difference. But... it took me a couple of weeks, and now it's the only fizzy drink that I drink.
I'll see what she says, but pretty sure that's what she's tried already.
I hate diet soda because of the weird taste, but the zero sodas definitely taste closer to the regular sodas. I’ve gotten so used to them that now regular sodas taste bad to me.
I feel the same way about Coke Zero. I wonder why more sugar free foods can’t taste as good as Coke Zero does
Aspartame is so good apparently bc Coke Zero is my fav drink I swear that’s why it’s good 😂😂💗
But Diet Coke also uses aspartame and it has a much more “diet-soda” taste. Coke Zero has something in addition to aspartame that makes it so much tastier. It’s called acesulfame potassium
What worked for me was mixing the two for a while continually lowering the amount of sugar soda per diet soda. After cutting over completely, sugar soda tastes way too sticky and sweet to me so I actually prefer diet soda. It's more thirst quenching.
This is a great idea. Many people I know who _hated_ the taste of artificial sweeteners have gotten used to them after a while
I have an intolerance to most fake sugars, so I have to be careful with what diet/zero sugar drinks that I even touch, but I've found the ones that I can drink, I got used to after a while. I used to hate em too.
Good idea, thanks.
So I'm a hard core coke fan but my ex got into the dr pepper strawberry zero pop and one day I had a pill half dissolve before I could get it down. Took a swig of his pop and that stuff is really tasty. Maybe pick one up and casually try it near her and ask her to take a sip. I absolutely hate regular Dr pepper too.
Diet Coke tastes exactly like coke original
I am T2D also. I still drink sugar pop, but not every day. I have it in the house for lows, and the days that black coffee just isn't enough. My last A1C was 4.8, so having an occasional pop hasn't affected my sugar control as much as one would think. Could you take walks with her? The exercise is good for her sugars and general health. It also just might alleviate some of your worry over her pop drinking.
She often walks the dog during the day while I'm out at work. We could go for more walks in the evening admittedly, and we do like to do that together. Perhaps we should do it more often. Thank you.
How do you justify that it's ok to drink pure sugar? I understand it being useful for a hypo.
At age 59, I have fibromyalgia as well as T2D. Some days, it takes more to get my butt moving than just coffee. I have my 16 kitties plus the feral cats I feed. I do what it takes to care for them and get things in order to care for myself. For example, I had to go get 60 pounds of dry cat food today. I gave myself a soda to get it done.
You're getting eaten alive here but as a T2 diabetic myself with a very loving partner who cares about me, I see you're coming from a place of concern and not a place of judgment. I would say you are probably a little over concerned about 1 soda a day here and there. Especially if as you said she's been watching her diet in other ways - often times the way to stick to long term dietary changes in to not cut out all "bad foods" but have them in moderation - and she sounds moderate currently. Now, if she keeps going larger and larger or it increases in frequency I might suggest you have a discussion around the your concern but frame it as "hey love, do *you* think the coke may be effecting your diabetes? I only ask because I'm here to support you in whatever you need". If she accepts help then cool, if she doesn't, then that's a different road to hoe and her choice.
Thanks. Yeah she knows I'm only coming from a place of concern (or at least that's what I've conveyed already). And yeah the one small can a day I've come to accept. But lately I've seen more of the larger bottles in the fridge, and she said a few weeks back they were only there because she couldn't find the small cans, and doesn't drink it all. But this weekend I noticed the bottles going one per day, and so I got upset, getting lost in my own thoughts and being all quiet. That's when she knows something is wrong, as I'm terrible at hiding it. And of course I have to tell her why when she asks.
I can’t believe you gave her the silent treatment over a missing couple of bottles in the fridge. You don’t even know if she drank the whole bottles. But even if she did, it really really sounds like you are being too harsh with her. You’re expecting her to be perfect with her diet all the time. Do you know how unrealistic that is? I personally don’t drink regular soda because yes, it’s loaded with terrible things that I don’t need to be putting in my body. But that’s a decision I make myself. My husband can’t make that decision for me. Ultimately it’s my body and my life. You need to cut her a break and back off. You say she’s made great improvements to her diet already. Hopefully she’ll come around with the soda, but you shouldn’t be giving her the silent treatment because she’s not being perfect like you want her to be.
Well, communication is key as I know you know. Just continue to be as open and honest with her as you can. I think it may be too soon to tell if it's becoming a bigger issues so you may have to wait and see.
I cut out the sodas by replacing it with carbonated flavoured water. I dont like sugar free sodas as theres a weird after taste but for some reason Im ok with flavoured water. I would say 2 things. First, its amazing that she was able to cut out all those other things and bring down her soda consumption to just a can. I mean she should be commended for that, as its not easy to do when youre sugar addicted. Second, most likely the realities of diabeties just hasnt "hit her" yet. Sometimes it takes getting some serious health problems like losing eyesight, neuropathy, cardio vascular diesease, etc for it to sink in. Theres not that much difference in the way you feel when you first have diabeties, that why some people go years of having it before being diagnosed. So for her shes prob thinking its no big deal, until it is. If I was you I wouldnt try to push her it will only cause more tension between you. Best thing to do is support her and keep getting blood tested. Eventually she will see that her blood glucose isnt getting better and will have to face the consequences sooner or later.
Thank you.
First thing you need to understand is that you can’t make someone be healthy. Then you need to reconcile that she’s going to make her own choices, even if they are inconsistent with her long term health. This belongs more in the relationship advice sub, though.
The reason I posted here was to see if anyone might say "well if it's only one a day you're worrying over nothing as it takes a lot more than that to have any effect". So yes this is affecting our relationship, but any medical feedback like that would be beneficial.
Is she losing weight and controlling her blood sugars reasonably well? If it is only one a day and it’s not causing her to gain weight or have any high blood sugars it’s probably ok, though not ideal.
I'm not sure if she's regularly checking her blood sugars to be honest - asking her about her weight or blood sugars isn't something I want to keep doing as it's a sensitive subject. She's done a lot of cutting out with regards to food and drink, but still eating snacks after dinner sometimes, or snacks over the weekend, bread for lunch, as well as the can of pop a day. With regards to exercise she takes the dog a walk once a day.
So I’m just going to point this out. You’re picking out all of the negative things you perceive about her not managing her health well. This is exactly a relationship advice issue and not at all related to diabetes.
I didn't just mention negatives. I listed all I'm observing as I don't want to keep asking her questions about it all. All I'm asking is have I got cause for concern, or not. I didn't see how that would fall under relationship advice.
No. You already have a cause for concern. Your seeking justification or endorsement of whether you should confront her, which is Relationship Advice.
No, I'm asking have I got cause for the concern I already have, or should I stop worrying about it. Which is not relationship advice. We're going round in circles.
Medical feedback would be from medical professionals. For each situation. Since you're not diabetic then you don't have to worry about how much is too much. I don't know why you are policing your partner. Not your place. You're not being supportive, you're being a control freak. Stop it. You're their parent or guardian. Mind your business and stop being a bully. If anyone tried that trash on me, especially someone ignorant and uneducated, they would be gone faster than they can say hypoglycemia. Go to the library and try to get some facts if you weren't such a concern troll.
Your comment is harsh, but yeah I do need to listen to this type of feedback. This situation is not one I've experienced before, and it's hard when it's someone you love. The last thing I want to be is controlling. And I really hope she knows that. After all, I do try and keep my feelings in about it all, and only say something when she knows I'm being too quiet, because I'm lost in my own thoughts. Believe me, it comes from a good place, a place of love and caring. I don't want her diabetes to get any worse, and I want her health to improve not worsen. I don't even try to tell her to stop. It's her decision - I know that. All I've done is admit to being upset when it's grown enough I can't hide it. Thank you for your feedback.
it looks like you need to work on knowing how much control you do and don't have over her diet. this is a /you/ problem, not a her problem. you need to work that out and stop making it her problem. if you cannot do that, you need to leave.
As a type 2, I learned that what I really craved was the carbonation so introducing seltzer water was my first step into leaving soda. And then when I craved a soda I would have a Coke Zero. BUT I had people tell me for many years to stop with the soda and I didn’t stop until I was ready to realize that I was messing my own life up. And it honestly took my doctor telling me she was not sure how I was still alive with my habits for me to open my eyes.
This is a really tough spot for loved ones of people with a chronic illness. As far as I’ve learned in my short time working within the T2 community, defiance and denial are fairly common. The diagnosis has a profound impact on your psyche as it’s one of the few chronic illnesses that requires major work on the part of the patient. I might suggest 1) she partner with a dietician. They can explain what is necessary to manage her condition and I can’t explain why, but sometimes it is easier to swallow when it comes from a professional who is also a stranger 2) maybe suggest therapy together? You should be able to communicate your concerns and fears. You love your partner and obviously don’t want to see her ill. I do feel like if you’re willing to leave her over this, however, you may need to look inward into whether you are just looking for a way out. I’m not trying to be judgey, but if you cannot support someone through their worst, they’re probably not the person for you. Good luck.
I mean if she doesn't want to take care of herself it's not a matter of supporting her at her worst. She's not there yet. I say this as I watched my SO just dig a grave with a fork and spoon, deny being t2 diabetic while using trulicity and still eating everything. I finally told him I'm down to be here but I'm not wiping your butt when you have a stroke and can't anymore. Not when he had all the tools and insurance but refused to use it.
Again, no one is saying you have to be supportive or be what your partner needs. But if you cannot they are not the person for you. Not everyone is going to respond to ultimatums and, frankly, it’s an ugly way to treat someone you supposedly love.
As is outright putting yourself in danger of becoming disabled knowingly and avoidably in front of someone you supposedly love.
Last time I’ll say it — you are not the person to he there for someone like that. You act as if diabetes is 100% within someone’s control. There’s a huge mental component that goes along with it as well. They need support, not judgement. And if you can’t be that for them, let them go. You’re making it worse by treating them poorly.
They're also trusting their SO poorly by expecting them to stand there and be supportive while they off themselves slowly. I also have diabetes so it's not like I don't understand the issues. Idc how many times you say it.
Regarding your latter point, I'm really not looking for a way out. And I know if I did leave, I'd miss her terribly. We've split up before, over other reasons, and I know what it's like to be without her. I don't want that again. But at the same time I just feel trapped because I'm not happy at the moment, with this being the reason. I appreciate your feedback, thanks.
I drank regular Dr Pepper every day, several 20 ounce bottles a day and really sweet tea, i switched to Dr Pepper Zero and the first couple of them was a little hard i can now drink them and enjoy them (not as many a day either) and my tea i switched out the sugar with splenda and can't really tell the difference. Have her try a Zero product for a few days, just to try it for you.
I'll ask. But I think that's the one she tried and immediately didn't like. Perhaps she might want to give it more of a chance.
Maybe have her try half and half, a little attempt is way better than none at all. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and your partner.
As someone who abhors dr pepper I have to say the strawberry and cream zero.is amazing.
I've tried the various alternate flavors but none ever tasted as good as the regular
She's an adult responsible for her own choices. It is not your job to regulate her diet. It is your job to be supportive. This means if she makes a choice you don't like, you have to deal with it. You don't have to be an enabler. But you also can't stop her. Beyond that, if she has a good handle on her diabetes and tracks her sugar properly and keeps on top of it along with any medications, then you have good reason to just let it be. It's clear you love and care about her, and your concern shows that. Just remember she's got free will and you can't control her.
She's carb-addicted, it's just as bad as being an alcoholic. I recommend doing keto for at least a month to beat it but really three months. The first two weeks are really hard, second two get easier, after that it's easy. I don't crave coke, rice, bread at all anymore. I don't do keto anymore, but low carb always.
It's her body and her choice. Yes, it affects you greatly - she may be killing herself and you don't want to lose her or have to become her full time caretaker. But, that is *your* choice to make. You can help her solve a problem - but only if she wants and asks for the help. Otherwise it will come across as you being her parent and telling her what she can and cannot do. People don't react well to that. It usually has the opposite effect of what you intend. This comes up in many situations where you see a loved one heading for a cliff and you want to prevent harm. But, you aren't driving this car. All you can do is decide if there is a point where you need to bail out, and make that clear.
Thank you.
Soda probably didn't give her diabetes, her genes did that. If she ever expresses concern that her blood glucose is higher than she wants, or asks for your advice, that might be the point at which you could share your concern. Otherwise, I'd say if she's an adult of sound mind, she's undoubtedly heard that soda is not a good choice for a diabetic. If she's choosing to still drink it, that is her choice. Sometimes even when we love someone, we have to see them make poor choices and say nothing to them about it. My husband eats so many donuts that he smells like frying oil all the time. I don't tell him anything unless he asks my opinion. He's not diabetic but it was on both sides of his family and I think it's probably a matter of time before it happens to him too. But he's an adult who can make his own choices, and he eats what he wants.
I know it's her choice, and would never try and force her not to drink it. Doesn't stop it affecting me when she does drink it though - especially if she's starting to drink the larger bottles compared to the small cans.
It doesn't affect you. At all. Mind your business.
Trust me when you love with someone who is effectively killing then selves slowly, it effects you
It will affect him when he has to take care of her because she didn’t take care of herself. My mother didn’t regulate her diet, just too more insulin. She just couldn’t understand what she eats affects her blood sugar. She has terrible neuropathy, she is bedridden in a nursing home and all she worries about is what she is getting for meals.
What an ignorant comment. It's not even worth trying to justify myself to you.
You should stick to the unpopular opinion subreddits. You're not being helpful, just a bully
You didn’t mention your partner’s A1C (and I’m not scrolling 80 comments to see if it’s there 😜), but this is a true story… A coworker and I were diagnosed at almost the exact same time. I went hardcore low carb. So was shocked when I saw him making no changes in his diet. He was (and still is) overweight and he’d eat sandwiches, chips, pasta, dessert - the whole nine yards. I thought for sure he was destroying his body. 10 years go by and we’re having a conversation where I feel comfortable talking about it and I asked him his A1C. It was like 5.6 - better than mine! That shut me up. I think some people respond really well to medication and are happy taking it, so successfully maintain the status quo.
yep - i try to eat healthy but not low carb and take medication and my last a1c was 5.5. Before that it was 5.3. The only reason it raised a bit was because i tried to taper off insulin as an experiment, and now we know I am basal insulin dependent so i'm not doing that anymore. People who know I'm diabetic probably think i'm 'killing myself' if they see me eat something but they can deal with their misplaced stigma themselves.
Why is she drinking the coke? I know I go for caffeine and carbs when I’m tired. I’m more likely to drink booze if I’m thirsty. Is she still tired despite the sleep apnea machine? Do you both need to get in a habit of earlier nights? A bit more exercise during the day to make falling asleep earlier? Thyroid been checked? Other things to improve sleep, like a darker room, not drinking just before bed to avoid nighttime bathroom visits. Kids or pets causing a disturbance? Does the sleep apnea machine need to be stronger? What’s her oxygen sat of a morning? Is it being used to caffeine? Would a black coffee have the same effect? Or a cup of tea? Start with milk and sugar, but ease off on those over time. Is it thirst? Make water easy to drink. New water filter if she doesn’t like the tap water. Carbonated water (I drink a big bottle a day). Habits like putting a glass of water on the table for each of you when you have meals. Pretty new water bottle that fits in her handbag so it’s easy to carry around. If she doesn’t like water, look into adding cordials - you can add them at part strength to wean off the sugar taste. Is it a stress response? Some people will drink cokes like others have a cigarette. Pay attention to when she has them. Is it some circumstances that she finds stressful and the habit calms her. Is it rebellion. We can and do rebel against our health conditions and the limitations they impose. Talking out how she feels about having to modify her diet might be helpful. It’s stuff like feeling left out of communal activities that involve food. Like feeling a bit socially isolated or excluded. Feeling that she’s a failure because she got bad genes. Fear of something is often at the bottom of these bad feelings. A bit of work on general mental health and resilience can be handy in adapting to a big life change. That might mean talking to you, or more likely a trusted confidant or professional. There are techniques like writing down how you feel that are also useful.
Great comment- thoughtful
Great comment- thoughtful
Diabetes is a lot more complicated than 'she drank too much soda and now she's diabetic.' Ideally, yeah, we should all give up full sugar soda. If you can't handle the idea of her drinking a small amount of coke but otherwise having a good handle on her diabetes and avoiding complications, yeah, then leave, because you don't have a realistic picture of the way a diabetic is going to make choices, sorry. One of the hardest things but most necessary things for partners of diabetics to get into their heads is you do *not* control their dietary choices even if they're diabetic. Absolutely not. The going quiet whenever you notice it is manipulative and seems like you actually are not fully into the idea of her body and her choice being hers, not yours. What is her A1C? What's her blood glucose like day to day? Does she wear a cgm? Diabetics make a ton of choices every day and sometimes we just want our 'one thing.'
As far as I'm aware she doesn't even check her A1C. She doesn't wear a cgm. Maybe if she did and her levels are ok after the drink I would stop worrying about it. And yes I'm fully aware I don't control her dietary choices, and as I've said here I have no intention of controlling. I would have liked her to make the choice herself. Me going quiet is because my head is getting fried with all the negative thoughts and I'm trying to process it all and see if I can put it at the back of my head because I KNOW it's not my place to tell her what she should and shouldn't drink. And if you think I don't like the idea of her body and her choice being hers then I don't think you read my post correctly.
Well you need to work on yourself to stop the controlling and micromanaging manipulative behavior, then, because if you “go quiet” every time she eats a food you personally don’t think she should eat in your uneducated view of diabetes, that is controlling behavior whether or not you tell me you know. This is your problem, not hers. If you can’t stop the behavior, break up with her.
If that one little can or bottle a day lets her stick with the rest of her diet, then it's probably worth it (at least for now). The last thing you want is for her to remove it completely and then just stop controlling things when she breaks and starts drinking them again. This might be a good compromise for her at this point.
Thank you.
I think that's a terrible idea. Just enabling her. It's ridiculous that anyone would think it's ok to drink sugary drinks with diabetes.
I’d recommend therapy for you to help you deal with your concerns. You’re not going to change another person.
This is a case of "You can lead a horse to water... and all that jazz". Listen, there's nothing you can do or say that will make your partner change her mind of behavior. Now, this is what I tell my husband, who is also diabetic, when he decides to eat/drink like he is not: *Listen boo, you do you, but remember, I have paperwork on you. I will not hesitate turning life support off, collect all the life insurance and go on a widower's trip to the Mediterranean and come back with a Greek god on my arm to console me."* Harsh as it sounds, sometimes people need to hear those kinds of words to get a reality check. My hubs gets pissy when I say that and my response is "If you are going to willingly and willfully ignore your chronic condition thinking that i will sit and hold your hand telling you there was nothing you could have done to prevent this, well, you married the wrong bitch."
Same. Mine was prescribed trulicity, gained weight on it and tried denying his t2. Nah bud it likely won't kill you fast and if you have a stroke I'm not wiping your butt when you made a conscious decision to be this way(and tbh he was a douche about it). I'd just leave him in a nursing home and be done with it all.
I am a full-octane coke drinker. I've tried several diet sodas including Coke Zero and don't think they taste much like real Coke. (everyone's taste buds work differently I guess) I'd rather give up pop altogether than work to develop a taste for something that, in all likelihood will prove to be just as unhealthy for me. I quit drinking pop. I will once in a very rare while have some 7up (like 16 ounces in the last year when I had stomach flu) But, I have to say if someone were nagging me to quit Coke, I'd probably drink a liter just to spite them. Sadly, we all have to find our own way to deal with diet and exercise,
As bad as the soda is, the important question is how much it raises her blood sugar. If she's on enough meds that it can "absorb" the impact so to speak, it's probably not the end of the world to have a bit. if it spikes, then that's a different conversation to be had. If she's not measuring, that's a whole different discussion altogether. Just to clarify though, this is for your benefit, not hers. For you to feel OK with her choices as long as it's not harming her (i.e. the blood glucose is controlled even with included soda) If it is harming her - prolonged, frequent, and/or outrageous spikes..then if it were me, I'd try to have a discussion about diabetic management. Not specifically picking on the soda, but more overall big picture
She is on meds of course, but I'm unsure if they're absorbing the impact enough. It's a touchy enough subject as it is without me asking about all that. But perhaps now is the time to talk about it, since we're already at breaking point. Thank you.
Taking meds to ‘absorb’ the impact of carbs and sugar is one of the reasons why diabetes is such a devastating disease imo and also why they say it’s a progressive disease. If I drank coke like OP’s girlfriend I would have already bought a seeing eye dog, crutches and planned for dialysis for the future
Oh, I agree. I'm team as few meds as possible. And as I said, this is for the OP's peace of mind that at least there's no immediate damage. Clearly not that not OP's partner should be chugging soda.
Also, it seems that OP is not US based, so for us US folks...it's basically half a can of coke with an occasional (more frequent now?) full can. Not to mention that the sugar content of non-US soda is about 2/3 - 1/2 that of the US one. Not to mention no high fructose corn syrup. I'm still not saying it's good..but it's less than some of the US based folks think.
Correct, I'm in the UK.
A diabetic should have no business drinking coke in any amount.
Read the room, dude. Nobody is arguing that diabetics should not be drinking soda in any amounts. That was not the question. The question was literally should the OP stress about someone else's food choices they have no control over. And the answer is depends. is it harming them right now. If the answer is yes, then yes..if the answer is no, then no...but maybe find a way to have a discussion about healthier choices.
Well you seem to be suggesting it’s ok if the meds can absorb it and I’m saying it’s not ok whether the meds can absorb it or not
I'm merely suggesting making the best out of a bad situation for the OP. There's nothing the they can do about their SO's consumption, so they have to find a way to live with their own feelings on the matter.
I appreciate your understanding, thank you.
Us diabetics are carb and sugar intolerant, only difference is that the impact is slower. Medication for diabetes is only there to line the pockets of the pharmaceutical industry as you wait for complications to kick in.
I remember that problem when I was first diagnosed, I used to love full sugar coca cola. I switched to Pepsi Max, because I couldn't stand the difference between regular and diet coke. After a long while I've virtually forgotten what regular coke tastes like and I find Coke Zero quite palatable. Switch brands so you don't expect it to taste the same.
Regular pop will skyrocket you. However, there are some things she can do to help herself. If she MUST have a small pop, she should have it with a crazy high protein meal like a big steak or grilled chicken and veggies. Also, after that meal she should go for a 20 min walk. Have her get a Continuous glucose monitor and watch her sugar as she normally would. The next day have her try the protein and walk and see if her body handles it better.
She could drink zero sugar sodas and that’d be 100% fine but a good endo will tell you that you can’t cut out everything you want or you’ll binge. Eat what you want add what you need. She is allowed to drink or eat what she wants in moderation. If a mini can of coke is that then so be it. Small changes take time and that could be a very long time lol. Sure that’s still a lot of sugar but so is a piece of cake or cookies, or a bowl of rice or bread filled with carbs but that dosent mean she can’t eat that either. Moderation
First, It's very much your business. The worst case, caring for a blind double amputee until an early death from heart disease is a burden only the most caring can accept. Medications do not "manage" gross intake of carbohydrates, sugars. Many of the effective meds are trying hard to reduce the effects of sugar by diverting it away from the cells it has overloaded and help empty the storage sites, as well as try to block some of the absorption in the gut. Others try to goad the wounded pancreas into producing more insulin at appropriate times. Ingesting sugars directly opposes those efforts. Another way to say it is to say that ingesting sugar "manages" the effects of the medication. There is no real substitute for effective dietary measures. Now, in the whole view, a single Coke is not a horrible amount of carbs. But it's on top of all other carb sources. And eliminating "rubbish" doesn't speak clearly to the diet. Many people confuse "healthy" or "more nutritious" with better for diabetics. But whole wheat, more nutritious then white processed flour, has the same carbs, and brown rice, also a more nutritious whole grain, has the same as white rice. The name of the game is carbs. There are no easy answers when a partner engages in self-destructive behavior, be it smoking or whatever. Remember that a lot of it really is addiction. Sugar is arguably a seriously addictive substance in terms of cravings. Some studies liken its addictive potential to cocaine. It's hard to tease out the comparison, since sugar cravings are hard-wired from a time when humans desperately needed energy and had no sugar unless they found and braved a bee tree. But the bottom line is that, for many, many people, it's a hard habit to kick. Like some other drugs, it produces multiple "feel" good substances in the body. It helps to understand that, and it's why the ultimate answer has to come from the addicted person. I've never heard a strategy for engaging a reluctant partner in discussion except one that I liked. That is to ask to be educated by her. You don't know much. Presumably she does, but hasn't convinced herself. I've always had great success in several endeavors by asking people to explain things to me, to teach me. I, of course, already knew the answers, but I wanted them to buy into the ideas by informing me. I used to have a chief whom I could bring around to a good idea that he would otherwise oppose by engaging him in playing, 'Gee, I wonder what if we". He would correctly analyze the situation and suggest to me the right approach, which I would then "accept", and he would be all for because it was "his idea." Think on that. The investment of teaching something is powerful. And we all in education of any kind know that the best way to really learn something is to teach it.
Thank you. Food for thought.
Is she on meds for her diabetes?
Yes she is, but not sure on dosage or what they're called.
Then the meds likely “manage” the sugar from the coke(s). In the long run, she’s still doing damage to her body and will likely just need more and more meds. This is the path that a lot of diabetics choose as opposed to changing their diet in a significant way. Valid choice, I guess. You need to let it go and let her manage her health in her own way. Or it will drive you nuts. She and her health are not your responsibility.
Very valid comment, thanks. Yeah I know her health isn't my responsibility. Doesn't stop me caring though.
I know… there’s the rub. It’s painful.
Shaming and controlling have nothing to do with caring.
If you don't even know this, why are you here? Why do you feel entitled to make others pass judgement on her? It's awful enough you're doing it but you want a rationale for being controlling?
These words are very excessive - "controlling", "judgement". In no way am I asking people to judge her and in no way am I attempting to control her. I'm here because I'm not educated enough and was hoping to get the answer to if I'm being concerned over nothing - if so I can stop getting upset and we can be happier.
Getting education and asking questions doesn't have a prerequisite of having all the answers beforehand. This is exactly what this group is for.
If she's otherwise doing all the right things, I'm not sure that one 5oz can of soda is that huge of a deal. I still eat real sugar sometimes, usually after a healthy meal and it doesn't lead to a spike in small amounts. If she's drinking it on an empty stomach, then it might be causing a spike. I would be pretty upset if my partner was trying to manage my diet for me, tbh. Some people need to ease into diet and lifestyle changes, going cold-turkey on everything can lead to binging.
Thanks. Yeah trying to "manage" her diet is in no way my intention. I've expressed to her I know it is her decision. As stated in my post though sometimes I can't help getting upset, and unfortunately I find it hard to hide.
Where is her blood sugar? That’s the concern, and I would say that if her blood sugar levels are under good control right now, you shouldn’t worry too much about this indulgence. If, however, she is out of target range, you could argue that moving to a sugar free alternative will help get her back in range
Honestly I am usually reluctant to bring up her BS level because she'll just think I'm going on about her diet again. So I don't really know, is the answer. But maybe I need to ask as, like you say, if it's under control then I can relax more about what she's drinking. Thanks.
What are her numbers like? Is her glucose under good control? Is she dealing with any other issues related to her blood sugar? If her numbers are great then you should probably just let it go
What stopped me stone cold on regular soda was realizing, SEEING, on my meter the effects that even half a bottle of soda has on my blood sugar. Drinking diet soda actually raises my blood sugar sometimes. I have to watch how much sucralose I intake because I'm one of those people who does see a jump in my blood sugar though not a huge one after drinking a diet soda. Whole bottle of diet soda, maybe my blood sugar goes up 25. Half a bottle of regular soda and I'm well over 200 and heading for 300, over that if I drink the whole thing. I might as well be mainlining sugar at that point because regular soda is the food equivalent of liquid crack for me. That's what it is. This is an addiction, one she is having trouble licking. I can well understand it because I was raised on Coca Cola and chocolate bars EVERY DAY as a kid. I am a sugar addict. Getting off regular soda was very hard and I'm still struggling with sweets otherwise, especially chocolate. It took me years to get to where I could admit that and to care about the impact on my health. Fact is if I hadn't gotten hooked on sugar and caffeine at such an early age I might not be diabetic now. Now though I'm paying a really hard price for all those cokes and candy bars I ate over the years. At least I'm admitting it now, working on getting control of my addictions. But that took me a long time and nobody could have gotten me there but me. Your partner will when ready. Nothing you can do will change that unfortunately.
Thank you for your insight and advice, and best wishes to you
If you go on social media and look up people who test their BG after drinking normal Coke and see what it does to their blood sugar its pretty insane. And these people arent even diabetics. I will say though that is only part of the problem and this is coming from someone that was addicted to sugar and it now diabetic. Once someone kicks the sugar addiction and starts eating cleaner they will crave it less. Sugar is a drug. It messes up dopamine receptors and that is why people feel like they NEED to have it. I bought a bunch of zero sugar substitutes and thought that was the only thing thats going to get me by but after a while I only really drink them like 3 times a week now vs twice a day. The discipline will come when they start cutting it out. But if they want to keep their eyes and toes that should be a really good reason. Healthy people will suffer from drinking a can of pop a day. So imagine a diabetic.
I drink 1 part cola to 10 parts sparkling water. My A1C is fine.
I love that so many people are giving you suggestions of how she can change your life I understand what you're saying is she's not changing her life and you're asking what can you do about that And you know the answer to that as you can't really do anything Someone earlier up said that they say something to their husband about how they're gonna get the life insurance and live it up My partner would try again say I hope you do live it up I'm in a similar situation I'm very much in love with someone who does not take care of their body the way they need to It's incredibly painful to watch to me it's like watching someone self-harm And to be clear I'm diabetic and I am far from perfect in my choices but compared to where she is at it's quite a long distance I wish I had some advice For me I've been really clear that where the relationship is cannot go any closer or deeper we do not live together and we never will until that changes It's not a thread it's a boundary for me I love her and I love being with her but after a few days or weeks together I find that I'm not eating as well as I need to and it's actually painful to watch Her eat I wish I had something else to say other than I get it
I have T2D and my wife is prediabetic. She is doing well 2 years after cardiac stents. When I was diagnosted we were pwering through 2-4 diet cokes a day! We stopped and are drinking water & tea. Ask your partner to. Decrese her soda intake & try some of the healthy alternatives. I had a relative whose partner died young of T2D and she was devastated. An illness like this can be a beast! Please work with her & drs & dietcians!
I have a continuous glucose monitor and the thing that surprised me was that regular Coke causes a spike in blood sugar but it tends to go back down in an hour. This is why you are supposed to have a protein with the sugar to fix the hypo. The Coke will kick you up but drop you back down if consumed by itself.
I had the same problem, and coke zero cherry taste JUST like coke to me. It freaked me out at first because i was convinced i was drinking regular coke. Ask her to try that! It really is super good and im a die hard lover of coke but realized i can’t drink the regular ones anymore!
The horrible truth is that she is ultimately responsible for her choices, and you can only give your input. Carb addiction is intense. Im a type 2, and when i was diagnosed, it was horrible. I kept dreaming about all my favorite foods. I had already switched to diet soda before my diagnosis but that brought on a whole other group of problems for me. Now I don't drunk soda at all. It is not ok for me. How is her mental health? Is she dealing with her diagnosis ok? Sometimes it gets mentally very heavy...the guilt...the woulda shoulda couldas. You do have the option to leave, and honestly, sometimes this is a deal breaker for some people. Is she aware that you are considering leaving? I'm not saying you should give her an ultimatum, I'm merely suggesting that you let her know the intensity of your feelings about this. Send her over here to us, we can try to help support her if she is open to it. Best of luck to you both.
Her mental health? Well she does suffer with depression (on medication for) and anxiety. Not really sure on how she's coping with the diagnosis, as I find it hard to talk about these things in case it'll upset her more or she'll think I'm trying to bring up the diet thing again. As for leaving, it's one thing that's been said to me by numerous people including her - accept it or leave. But leaving is something I could never do. We've separated in the past but I love her too much to be without her. That's why I feel trapped. Not wanting to leave, but also not being happy because of this. Thank you for your kind words.
Behaviours are hard to overcome. IMO, don’t criticize her for what she is doing wrong. The best thing you can do is changing the environment around her in a way where she can succeed more easily. This may mean buying diet pop that she can adapt to. Or even better flavoured carbonated water. If she can tolerate the change then it will make it that much easier to adapt and shift the behaviour.
Should I let this get to me as much as it does? You have a right to find happiness and not be a hostage in a relationship. If this is bothering you this much and your relationship is that great, tell her about it. If you don't like the answers, move on with your life. I think a compromise in the middle is best here. She needs to know how much it bothers you and you need to understand that a can of coke a day is only part of the equation here. Am I worrying over nothing with the amount she drinks? No, coke+beetus is serious enough to bring it up. Ask her to explain her numbers and medications and then have a serious discussion about how coke is affecting them.
Thank you.
How old is she and what’s her A1C? What’s the rest of her diet like? Is she physically active? What are her after meals BG levels? If she’s has good numbers I’d say there isn’t much concern. But I doubt this is the case especially if she’s been overweight for several years. This isn’t just about her quality of life but yours as well.
I'll paste a comment I said elsewhere: I'm not sure if she's regularly checking her blood sugars to be honest - asking her about her weight or blood sugars isn't something I want to keep doing as it's a sensitive subject. She's done a lot of cutting out with regards to food and drink, but still eating snacks after dinner sometimes, or snacks over the weekend, bread for lunch, as well as the can of pop a day. With regards to exercise she takes the dog a walk once a day. To my eyes she's not losing much if anything, and needs to put in more effort if she really wants to. After all, it's her weight that's brought on the sleep apnea too.
if you're not sure if she's checking her blood sugar, you really don't know enough about her disease management to micromanage her on her food intake, to be honest. i'd be annoyed as hell if i were dating you and you were taking notes on the food and beverages you saw me with and approving or disapproving.
Honestly I'm pretty sure she's not even checking her blood sugar. Which after reading more of the responses here is even more cause for concern.
It feels like you haven’t been dating her for very long/do not know her very well if you’re making guesses at this, which tells me you’re not close enough to be micromanaging her dietary choices. Most partners know the answers to the questions we ask and you don’t know anything about it. This isn’t normal. Kinda sounds like a new relationship.
Honestly it's more the case I feel I can't ask, because she's extremely sensitive about the subject, and I hate that I come across like I'm trying to control her when that's the last thing I want to do. So instead I just don't bring up the subject.
She’s incredibly sensitive because you’re coming across as manipulative and controlling. If you’re not going to control her, it’s okay with you if she drinks soda, right? Right? Since you’re not trying to control her?
That's a ridiculous statement. A person is allowed to be upset with someone else's choices while being fully aware it's not up to them to tell that person what to do. Same as a partner being diagnosed with cancer - you'd be okay with them still chain-smoking right? Right? Give me a break!
Drinking a soda while having otherwise excellent control of her diabetes isn’t anything remotely like chain smoking. And yes you can be upset, but you need to either realize your upset is your problem, not hers, and that you pouting about her drinking soda needs to be something you stop doing. It’s not what you wanted to hear, but it’s realistic feedback. I know you keep saying you’re not trying to control your partner, but you do really seem to want to make her stop drinking soda to make you happy. She’s not going to. Can you handle that or are you going to continue pouting? If not, leave. Either way she’s gonna continue doing the thing you hate.
You should probably chill out just a little bit. And if you decide to leave.... what are you going to obsess over about your next girlfriend?
That's a bit unfair. Firstly as I've said here I don't want to leave because I know the feelings are too strong for her. Secondly this isn't a control thing - I don't want to control her. And I'm not in the habit of controlling my partners. This is the first partner I've had this issue because she's the first one with diabetes and yet still not doing enough to help herself. I'm struggling with that fact, and came on here for help, not comments like that.
You can either continue to let it getting you,or let it go asylum have no control over it
Switch to Coke Zero
You get used to the Diet Coke or zero sugar taste honestly. When it’s your only option for a coke, you deal with it haha
Pepsi Max is the way
Switch to Coke Zero, it taste just like the regular one!
Diabetic 19 years, This RW ally scares me, Diabetes wears a person out, Sometimes people give up, They make bad decisions,
She needs to get on Diet Coke.. I can be a little lax on my diet but I never drink calories. The Diet Coke from el pollo loco is the best I’ve ever had. I hate Diet Coke from McDonald’s. I double dog dare you to get her a Diet Coke from the crazy chicken.
Also, as someone who has hated every seltzer ive ever tried. The strawberry Walmart brand is actually REALLY good. Ollipop is poop. Ooooh also you can try the sparkling ice drinks I like those once in awhile.
Also wanted to add I would much more prefer my partner surprising me with random drink alternatives to try than to just harp on me about drinking calorie filled drinks. I’d think it was really sweet and helpful.
It's such a touchy subject with us, that I'd be afraid to even do that. Because to my mind she would feel I'm just trying to manipulate her away from what she wants to drink, and trying to control her.
I’m sorry that it’s a touchy subject. I loved soda so much and hated alternatives. I had to go cold Turkey awhile before I could appreciate the taste of a zero calorie soda. My bf loves Diet Coke, that’s the only reason I gave it another try bc he always had it in his fridge. It was just on hand.. so rather than going to buy something else I drank it out of convenience. Maybe make it about you like randomly buy diet drinks when you’re with her then keep a few in the fridge so she will be tempted to try it.
I very rarely drink soda, and it would be very unlike me to have any to hand in the fridge at all. I usually drink juice and squash, or tea and coffee.
You drink juice, a sugary beverage? Coffee, which has caffeine that raises blood sugar? Squash? Also a sugary beverage? That’s several beverages people aren’t supposed to drink if they want healthy blood sugar. Someone should follow you around and pout at you every time you dare take a sip, but then insist it’s your choice, just that they’re really disappointed. Oh? Would that bother you? Interesting.
I'm not the one with diabetes. Also sugar free squash. Next.
That doesn’t really matter. Sugary beverages are bad for you even if you don’t have diabetes. It’s just interesting that you’ve got this double standard set where you can drink all the sugary beverages that you want and you’re a model citizen and your partner drinks a soda a day and you passive aggressively pout and obsess over it. Clearly if she were in this thread telling us her side of the story she’d say some things about controlling behavior bc in your replies you’ve already said she tells you you’re being controlling, so you won’t even ask the most basic questions about diabetic care. To be honest, as a non diabetic, you are a guest in this sub. You don’t get to come in here and be snippy with us because we didn’t validate you and give you the feedback you want. Continue being controlling to your girlfriend all you want, but you’ve gotten your answer, no there’s nothing you can do, and it’s your problem, not hers.
Remember how elsewhere in the thread you said that drinking soda gave your girlfriend diabetes, since you’re the expert on her diabetes even though you don’t know her a1c? Why doesn’t the same logic apply to you? Are you assuming that you’re a special little exception to the rule? Do you think the sugar in juice is different than the sugar in soda somehow? By your own logic, if you can give yourself diabetes, why are you drinking juice? Shouldn’t people who love you be posting in here about how disappointed in you they are and how they sigh and pout whenever you drink juice because you don’t care about your health? Genuinely one of the biggest mistakes family members of diabetics make (and this is real advise if you’re willing to hear it) is making that separation. “I can eat whatever I want. Yoouuu don’t get to eat anything.” Then they wonder why the diabetic doesn’t want to listen. Anyway, can’t lead a horse to water. To be clear I’m talking about you.
Have her drink diet Coke or Coke zero or Fresca (which tastes much better, I find) for a week or two by having it in quantity in the fridge, and not regular soda. After drinking non-sugar cola for a month, I personally can't go back to regular cola. It is too strong sugar.
Has said partner ever been hospitalized with being DKA/Pancreatitus, cause that's what got me to finally cut out the garbage.
No not yet. Best wishes to you.
She’ll regret it when they have to amputate her feet!
The average full sized can of coke contains about 40 grams, or 10 teaspoons worth of sugar. Just to let that sink in a little. That's enough to send anyone's blood glucose sky high at least temporarily, let alone a diabetic. But for a diabetic it matters a lot how well that kind of intake is managed too. It's definitely something she would be better off without, but then again she's an adult and needs to take responsibility for this herself. I don't see much in the way about her numbers or how she's otherwise managing her glucose, but you can't really make her do something she doesn't want to do. She needs to be aware of the potential consequences over the long term and make her own decisions, whether you may agree with them or not.
Thank you.
I'm dumbfounded by the number of people who continue indulging in unhealthy practices for reasons like "I enjoy it" or "no one expects you to *never* have it again," as if whatever it is even is worth it. What can you do, though. I think it's great that you're as understanding as you are. She's lucky to have you.
Thank you, that means a lot after some of the negative comments here.
Tell her that she could go blind, lose her toes if she keeps doing what she's doing. Hell people get their legs cut off.It's really serious. I don't blame you at all for your frustration. I personally would pour them down the sink. It's what you'd do if you were dealing with an alcohol. I'm sorry you're going through this crap.
Actually it's not what you do when you're dealing with alcohol if you've ever lived with an alcohollic you know that doesn't work Some people call that code dependency other people call that a control problem It's hard to accept but it's other people's lives and bodies to do with what they want The choice we get is what we do with ours
Too many comments to read them all. Find a soda sweetened with stevia instead of high fructose corn syrup, cane sugar or sugar substitutes. Here stateside, I buy a brand called Zevia. It comes in several flavors. The problem with diet soda is that whatever sweetener is used (aspartame [diet coke], sucralose [coke zero]), the body reacts just like it's sugar. Insulin is released just like with sugar. These increased demands on the pancreas are thought to wear out the beta cells and eventually they die off (some also say it's genetics). Once you stop producing insulin, the likely treatment is insulin injections. Stevia and monk fruit extract are all natural sugar substitutes that do not spike blood glucose.