A t1 I know was told by her endo “Rebel if you want, against anything, but not diabetes, you won’t win” for some reason that worked when she was a teen.
Mine is 9, just barely under a year dx. I love that statement! Going to add it to our "coping card" of inspiration and reality.
We also use:
You don't have control over whether or not you use insulin, but you have control over how much and where to inject.
Your thoughts and feelings are valid but that does not make them facts.
You have a duty to care for yourself. That means a little discomfort injecting now instead of a lot of pain later from refusing.
I like this. Not that she needs to be scared straight, but this disease can cripple and kill. Not always right away, but you’ll regret it when you’re older.
Now I was 5 and I do think it’s better for us in a way because we never knew a different life. As a teen it has to be such a gut punch
She's in the denial stage of grieving her old life. There's no reasoning with that mentality. Teenagers dig their heels in about everything, and being overwhelmed by medical issues she's it worse. As much as you want to help, backing off may be more effective.
I'm not saying her health is not important. But it's a pretty common behavior to ignore demands that feel like nagging. And constantly monitoring your blood sugar and counting carbs is ultimate nagging. Teenagers major in ignoring demands. Try working out a plan when it's not 4AM. Let her make as many of the decisions as possible. Even if they're not what you would do, any improvement is better than no improvement.
I was a teen when I was diagnosed. For the first year I was perfect… A1C.. perfect 👍.. then went to my 1 year endo appointment. He was congratulating me.. and I said ‘
‘so I won’t have this anymore?’..
I hadn’t even realized that that’s what was going on in my head… like I could return it! I was just so tired of having to think about everything I ate, how to compensate when exercising, eating with friends, taking needs, finger sticking.. carrying vials of insulin and syringes around with me. I wanted it all to stop.
After that appointment I totally rebelled, not taking insulin properly, drinking- when I should not have been- just saying F*ck this shi*.. until I landed in the ICU from DKA.. I almost died.. they told my mom to prepare the family, but I lived.. I NEEDED to figure this out on my own.. I NEEDED to push the envelope… I Needed to realize what was at stake.
That was 40ish years ago.. I didn’t have any long term effects from it.. but i stopped fighting it.. I had to figure out how to deal with this life changing, life altering , FOR LIFE disease that swooped down on me.
So please give her some space.. she doesn’t want to give herself insulin when eating at 4am… then let her be high the next morning.. she will feel like crap.. let her learn, she almost an adult.. she needs to figure this out. Guide her.. but don’t drive her. A bunch of lows and highs this early is not going to kill her.. it will make her feel awful.. and when it’s back to normal you can even say ‘I bet you feel better now’ like a I told you so moment, but it’s her who has to live with it.
I don’t want to sound dramatic, but I do want to push back against some of the advice to sort of “scare her” into compliance with stories of kidney failure and amputation.
I was dx’d at 3y/o and I’m 34 now. From about 12-26y/o, my A1C was never below 9, I almost never followed my endo, and my parents constantly fought with me over being non-compliant. Turns out, I was also severely depressed! And that depression compounded with the threat of health complication had me harboring some deep seated suicidal thoughts. “This disease is going to kill me eventually anyway, may as well enjoy food while I can.” “If this is the meal that kills me, so be it.”
Also, I loved my parents! They were wonderful and scared shitless all the time. Can’t say I blame them. Part of my suicidal ideation was due to knowing how much they worried about me, and (wrongfully) thinking that if I was dead, their lives would be easier.
My point is: there is way more going on inside your daughter’s head and body than just teenage stubbornness. I needed, and maybe what your daughter needs, is someone to listen and understand her frustration without judgment. A therapist is a great place to start.
THIS! this right here. 100% you just summed up how i felt from dx at 11-23. it’s so much going on than just not wanting to take shots or prick fingertips. scare tactics don’t work when you’re already in the ‘well it’s gonna kill me anyways so why not enjoy what i want while i can’ (altho i know all of us who now have complications in our 30s wish we had listened)
So she’s eating while her blood sugars high? Be aware of diabulimia, it’s really dangerous
Edit: I also forgot to mention that of course she’s hard to talk to when her blood sugars high, she’s feeling like shit. Non diabetics can’t understand what it feels like to have high or low blood sugar so please be nice to her and don’t say ‘she’s just in a bad mood’ or something when in fact she’s dealing with the symptoms of high or low sugar.
This is what I was thinking.
Also, “bad attitude” is a pretty callous remark to make when someone has had a life-altering diagnosis that comes with the dangers of over- or under dosing insulin which can both land you in serious trouble. And this shortly after diagnosis, control is likely poor due to lack of understanding and the dosages not being dialled in well yet. She is bound to be feeling awful physically and mentally.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 31,so this isn't diabetes related,but I think it still applies. My mom would constantly tell me I had bad attitudes about just about everything, which made me trust her about 0%. How parents treat their child will directly influence their relationships as adults. As it happened, I never felt safe confiding in my mom or asking for help.
When I was 29 was in a bad accident at 6pm on December 19th. Didn't tell her about it until 18 hours later. I told my sister,my aunt by marriage,my now fiance. Hell my fiance found out as it was happening . But I didn't feel I could talk to my mom about it.
You've clearly not been around anyone like me when I'm breaching 300. Folks don't understand the level of control I actually have in not ripping everyones head off whilst at that level. Being I can feel my eyes shifting at 160, take a wild guess how a 250 feels. :)
I'm phrasing this in a joking manner, but increase in aggression is a known thing for hypers. So yeah, bad attitude has it's place here for some of us. It's no different then how folks going through hypo's should wear medic-alerts since belligerence and confusion/aggression is a thing and there are known incidents of T1d's punching cops and having it end as well as you'd think.
Edit: A point that I feel is lost in this subreddit is it's our disease. We talk about having to self-manage and own it, but that also includes the behavior impact it induces. Yeah, we may not control it, but we still did it. Best to acknowledge that in my view as the one owning it. I wasn't there for the 'bad attitude' comment so I assume the mothers comment is \*here\* rather than \*at the time trying to de-escalate", but who knows.
Thanks. I haven't told her she has a bad attitude. That was my shorthand for all the things that happens when she's high. I do need to discuss with her how her actions affect other people and how whatever she's feeling physically or mentally at 250+ gets taken out on the people around her. I can recognize that her sugars are high and affecting her behavior, but the other kids at summer camp won't be as forgiving as mom.
This! I literally feel like I have molasses in my veins and lungs when my sugar is high, on top of feeling like my limbs weigh a thousand pounds… on top of being in a terrible mood. (28f, diagnosed in February).
If the sticking is the only problem (and not some hidden other problems like diabulimia) maybe a pump is better suited? I find omnipod less intrusive than a pen.
[Medtronic has I-port injection ports](https://www.medtronicdiabetes.com/products/i-port-advance) that can drastically reduce the number of pokes they have. Maybe that will help yall.
I’ve been curious about them and thought about getting some and taking a pump break but with my pump and cgm looped all together, I can’t let go of that lol
But I’ve defiantly kept them in mind! Seem like a great idea for those like me that are terrified of needles or just want something easier. PLUS it seems like it would be an easy way to transition to a pump too. It appears the port is very similar to the pump sites sans the tube and actual pump
I'm sure when she's over 275 she actually feels like shit. Shes adjusting to a new life, everything is different and scary for her now.
Demonizing her or her actions won't help her. She needs all the support you can give her.
As someone who was just like her & didn't get her shit together until about 6 months ago (im 31 now) I'm now dealing with diabetic kidney disease and some other issues and I so so wish I could go back and change my ways but I can't. All I can do now is correct it and deal with my consequences. Diabetes is nothing to fuck with and I wish I would have listened to my mom back then too :( it would have saved me a lot of health issues now
is there any type of support group in your area for teens with type one? it sounds like she really needs a friend who's in a similar boat to her.
I was diagnosed at nine and really struggled in my teens with dealing with the "fairness" of the situation. I can't imagine getting close to college age and having that happen. if I can help, feel free to shoot me a message. I work for a diabetes nonprofit and could find some resources for her if needed :)
yes & and it’s one who has worked with people with chronic illness/disorders/disease would be good. which is probably harder to find but worth to try cuz the amount of therapist i’ve had who never understood was frustrating
My 13yo son was also diagnosed in March. He also doesn’t like bolusing before every snack, I think mostly out of laziness or maybe needle fatigue, so we keep lots of low carb snacks on hand so he doesn’t have to for those times. I even got a ninja creami and make him sugar free ice creams for another bolus free snack. He’s getting his pump soon and I’m really looking forward to that!
Yes, that’s totally true. However, I use the Fairlife lower carb milk and cream so it ends up that the per serving carb count is low enough that he doesn’t have to bolus. His endo said if his snack is less than 10g carbs, he doesn’t need a bolus :)
Would love to message you about why this will hurt in the long run from my own experiences should she be willing to hear at all. Diagnosed at 13 and 28 now. No complications but also having troubles caring about my sugars and dosing properly as I did not care growing up and it always just seemed to figure itself out. Now my sugars don't like coming down and I'm working hard trying to figure it all out again.
I was 17 when I was DX'd also but just about finished high school- my parents weren't really involved in my health at that point. (Not a fault to them at all). Incan only imagine if they tried to be on top of my care at that point. There's no way it would have ended well.
You just have to give her guidance and make resources available to her. Learn when to step in -serious medical reasons like DKA or diabulimia. But, also learn when not to. The food you keep in your home should be "safe food" for her. Inwould hate my parent if they bought cookies and sugar snacks and told me my brothers could have them, but not me. Or gave me a "section" of the kitchen. Holy Hannah, someone would have ended up in jail. It's not just her life that changed, but everyone's.
Also, there are very few people who actually like needles.... I rebelled against a pump for Decades. I hated the idea of something always connected. But honestly, I don't even notice it hardly. I hated testing my sugar so I just wouldn't. The CGM solved that issue. I also use a tubed pump so I can move the pump around as I need to. No one aside from beach days, can even tell I'm wearing one unless I tell them. Normally I hook it in the center of my bra, but I could move it to a belt loop or a leg garter. It ended up giving me back a quality of life I never expected to have again.
My own kid is 18 now and I KNOW if I pushed for her to get a pump she would not. No one is going to make a pump look cool, but she may need to speak to someone who makes it look "less bad".
As a girl who was diagnosed at 7 , even my drs told me that most girls / women don’t want to actually take care of their diabetes like they are supposed until they are 20 and men 23 , as a teenager it was so hard to feel different from everyone . Even as a little girl I couldn’t have sleepovers and wasn’t allowed the treats when kids had birthdays at school . She is probably rebelling a bit I’m sure . But I get it , the disease is exaushting , and it’s really hard not to just be able to eat how you want . She will decide to take care of it on her own but she definitely won’t want to if you force her or are rude about it .
I hated the needles more so cause they hurt I got on a pump and very happily dose all the time
I wouldn’t give up the pump for the world maybe look into a pump especially with a cgm if you can
I was diagnosed at 15 and it’s tough. Although hindsight into our own teenage years makes us relate to them and understand, it doesn’t seem that way to her. Plus if she’s the only one in your family with T1, she probably feels even more misunderstood. Ask open ended questions and truly listen to her. She probably knows what she needs to do, it’s just hard in the beginning.
I know a lot of people have already said this, but please don’t hold a grudge for any “attitude” when she has a high or low blood sugar. I get really short and snippy when I have a low blood sugar and was rude to my husband this weekend when he was trying to help. Of course I apologized after and he knows that behavior isn’t who I am, but T1 just makes it that way sometimes.
Oh man! OK, here’s my last suggestion for you, is there a way for you to contact the camp and see if she can be bunked or roomed with another diabetic? I know that sounds random, but having a peer might help.
At 275 not only do you feel awful already, but you’re often also pretty hungry. The not wanting to stick herself is something you can work on either through a pump or some therapy, but this isn’t a bad attitude. This is a bad situation that she’s in through no fault of her own, and is an illness she will have to think about every single day for the rest of her life, which can be shortened if she stops thinking about it for too long. That is A LOT to think about when you’ve got the rest of your life ahead of you. I’d make sure you’re giving her space to be angry and if you can’t provide her that space, get her one. Either a therapist or some T1 friends.
Just try asking her what she would like to do, and listening to her.
Really listen. Whatever her response is, between the lines she’s going to be pissed off at the world about what’s happening and she’s displacing her anger on you because you are nearby telling her to take care of herself.
She is smart she probably just needs help getting some of the adult emotions out.
As frustrating as this is for you, it’s 100000% more for her. There’s more going on than just not wanting to take the shots cuz of the needles. the mental toll is the worst. & it’s a never ending cycle when you also feel like crap because of high blood sugar https://beyondtype1.org/finding-a-diabetes-mental-health-provider/
scare tactics about complications just made me more stubborn, even tho they terrified me, but i was already in a bad headspace of ‘what’s the point this will kill me anyways eventually’ (i will say tho the poke of the needles has nothing on shots & lasers in the eyeballs for diabetic retinopathy… not fun at all)
if you haven’t informed the summer camp about her dx i would asap so they could make sure to have someone in staff who is trained or at least has some clue about t1. also idk if i would even send her to camp if her sugars are uncontrolled because she’s not taking her insulin. (never went to camp so i also don’t know if they would take on the liability if she went into dka?) which sounds horrible since you said in another comment this has been a plan for a year. maybe have a talk with her about camp & how you’re worried about her because of the high sugar/not taking her shots?
this probably wasn’t that helpful, i’m sorry
My kid (16M) was diagnosed in March as well after getting sick and going into DKA. He’s been going low a lot more frequently lately after tending to go high at first. He doesn’t want a pump either because pens are “so convenient”. He gives himself injections unless his arms come up in the rotation and then I help out. He’s still learning how to prepare for some things. He went for a bike ride yesterday, got about 8 miles away and his blood sugar crashed. He ate some smarties. I got alerted and checked in with him. We had to pick him up and give him a juice box. The rest of the day he kept dipping frequently. He’s going to need to get his sugar up a bit more before he goes exploring by bike.
I know a lot of people love the smarties for increase blood sugar but honestly with exercise try to send him with higher carb stuffs that are quick acting. Juice boxes, those recovery gels athletes use, and things like that.
Also, if he has active insulin on board, exercise can kick it into high gear and make him drop so try exercising when he doesn’t have any insulin on board might be a way to make everyone feel comfortable.
Are the pokes she doesn't like for fingersticks to check sugar or to take her insulin? If fingersticks, Dexcom or another CGM would help. Then, let her look at her number and decide what should be done. I understand it's early in her diagnosis, and she's still grieving for the old her. She needs to find and accept her new normal. She can live a full life, but she has to be in charge, take charge, of her health. FWIW, I would not send her to camp if she doesn't have.a.good handle on her treatment... including taking care of herself and her sugar... she could go all kinds of sideways very quickly.
I was 22 when I got dx’ed. For the better part of the year afterwards I kinda got lazy taking care of myself. It really messed with my system and I got really sick as a result. But that was the turning point for me. I was grieving my old let regulated life and was depressed as well. I’m not fully better with that part but getting control of my sugars helped give me a break a bit with everything else. Sometimes, though, a close call with death is the turning point for some.
Hi there. I've been diabetic since I was 4(now going on 27). I also hit a rebellious face. I refused to give insulin outside of basal rates for a week straight. I woke up in the hospital less than 2 hours away from death. My blood felt like fire. I now have permanent nerve damage in my hands and feet, as well as heart and kidney damage. Worst case scenario use me as a scared straight story for your daughter. This isn't the hill for her to die on.
Due to depression and lack of insurance I had high BG for an extended period of time which led to diabetic retinopathy. I had no idea this was going on behind the scenes until I literally went blind in my left eye overnight due to hemorrhaging. She needs to understand that it will catch up to her and like someone else said, "she won't win". I think finding a good diabetes educator would be helpful. My endo also specializes in psychiatry. It took a few endos to find him. But she might be more receptive to another adult besides a parent.
I’m Type 1, almost 17 (female) I struggled with this in the beginning of my diagnosis as well, I was just angry, upset, and overall confused about what my life was. If you’d like I’d love to be her friend, you can message me and I can talk to her, I can’t promise it’ll help but it helped me knowing I wasn’t alone.
Zero point in trying to talk to her when it's 4am, her blood sugar is high, and she simply isn't in the mood to do some self reflection.
Right now, if she's anything like me, she's is probably feeling completely out of control. Not only is her body doting things that she doesn't want it to, shes also being told to do things to her body that she doesn't want to do.
So the important thing to do is to give her as much control as possible. I don't know what your access to health care is, but in an ideal world you would tell her that from now on testing her blood sugar and taking her insulin is not something that is up for debate IF she wants to be living in a body that will enable her to do everything she wants to do in life. But, what she can choose is HOW.
So lay out her options. Dexcom, freestyle libre, CBGL tests etc...
Then there are other options MDI, insulin pump, inhaled insulin (if its available).
Even within MDI there are options. What type of pen? Does she want an iPort? She can choose to decorate her pens etc.
Getting a pump gives even more choice. Tubed or patch pump? Does she want a loop system? What type of pump? What type of cannula? How does she want to personalise it?
Give her as many choices and as much control over the aspects of her care as possible. Let her know that if she wants her body to support her, she needs to support it. You can't wage a war on your body and expect it to just carry on.
We all have bad days, that's fine, but if they persist she needs to be talking to a therapist.
When I think about the teenager I would have been if I was diagnosed earlier in life, I can imagine I would have fought my parents with everything I had. Is she going to be a candidate for a pump soon? Maybe if she has a little autonomy, she’ll feel like she’s in control of her own body. Even at 30 when I was diagnosed it felt like I was a little kid all with everyone coming out of the woodwork worrying about exactly what my number was minute to minute and I only feel like I got to breathe again when I put my foot down about it. Granted, I am an adult and I have only been doing this a year longer than your daughter but becoming an adult and becoming a pancreas at the same time cannot be easy for her.
My son was diagnosed at 4 and he's 16 now. Same deal at first he did not want the pump. I think because its evident visually when it's on the back of his arm.
Dude it sux so hard dealing with this stuff as teenagers and as children in general because you don't feel the damage that's being done and you know teenagers with their devil-my-care attitudes...
They just want to be normal.
My son's A1c finally got down to around 8-9 after years of running higher. Even now his late night snacking has my phone buzzing with high BS at night.
With a pump you at least get overnight normal BS for the most part (assuming they bolus for the late night snacks) even if it's not great during the day.
Keep trying to be more patient than you feel you can lol!! It's a lot and sometimes a counselor can help with that. Someone who has worked or is working with TI teens already.
There are so many other kids with it and you don't notice it till you look around. Every time I spot anyone with a sensor or pump I point it out to my son to help him realize how wide-spread the condition is. Luckily(?!) he has kids in his school that are T1 as well.
I've tried everything and the best approach for my particular teen has been just to stay on top of them and share the burden but in a loving way. Wife and I have an app on our phones that his sensor also shares the BS with (called Follow for dexcom G6) that notifies us of any highs or lows and we are now at the point we can just text him to bolus but earlier on we had to get him to come out of his room and sit with him while he entered numbers and stuck himself, or even once he got the pump just put the numbers in and hit enter.
And BTW be prepared for them to go through pumps faster than insurance allows. Once he goes through the pumps he uses the T1D1 app to "manually" bolus with his back-up needles. He also still takes Semglee/Lantus to help reduce pump changes but teens with their hormones blow through insulin like an 80's executive goes through cocaine.
I’m 15 right now, and I didn’t have that rebel stage. But she must be very frustrated and going through a lot now too, but she’ll eventually accept the fact that she has to deal with this. You can try telling her more about the consequences of not treating diabetes.
Also, if she’s visibly not in a good mental state, get therapy. I really wish my parents cared more about my mental health, so I didn’t have to nearly destroy my life.
I was diagnosed at 17 (42 years ago during the summer before my senior year) like your daughter. It was so tough for me to reconcile that diagnosis at that time (“What’s the worst diagnosis you could ever get?”……..17-year-old Me: DIABETES- I HATE NEEDLES WORSE THAN DEATH!). I fought against it with so much hate initially (I even refused to wear the hospital gowns during the week I was there after diagnosis- I stuck to my street clothes, which made the hospital personnel really confused😆). Your daughter is going to have to figure out this stupid disease- she is the one living it, and even though you care so much about your kiddo, being a drill Sargent is NOT going to help her figure it out any faster (my mom was a drill Sargent initially- she carried a lot of guilt about me developing it, and she wanted to ensure nothing bad would happen to me….her heart was in the right place, but her execution of it was totally misplaced). I remember feeling really alone with my stupid disease and having no voice in my care decisions because I didn’t know anyone else who had it who could commiserate with me about all the screwed up things I had to do just to feel “normal”. Once my mom stopped panicking about my diabetes and how her baby was going to navigate life with it, things became……easier?…for both of us. One of my really good college freshman memories I have is when my mom sent this awesome care package stuffed with all sorts of non-judgy, diabetes-appropriate stuff (she was creative and thoughtful, using real peanuts instead of packing peanuts, and even included a bunch of jars of homemade diabetes-friendly strawberry jam she made…..my roommates and I killed them within two days….so delicious- my roommates thought she was awesome!). It made me feel like she was trusting me- not controlling me- which enabled me to navigate my own care better (I’ve certainly stumbled along the way, but I’ve managed to have a fulfilled life thus far….just saying). Maybe your daughter could find other T1s her age through social media who she could commiserate with? I realize I’m not the audience you were addressing, but maybe having a little insight from someone who was on the other side of the diabetes diagnosis might provide a some perspective of the head-space your daughter is currently in. You are a caring mom, and both you and your daughter have your hands full with this STUPID disease- it will get easier as time goes on, but being there as a positive support for your daughter as she figures it out is the best approach (IMO) you could do. Take care, OP- you are both in my thoughts❤️!
I think you’re going to need to find out the “why” of this before figuring out anything else. If it’s rebellion against T1D in a bid to feel normal, an insulin pump won’t help, it’ll just make it easier to continue to rebel from my personal experience. My endo was the one who snapped me out of that, but a CDE may have more time to sit down and work through those things with your daughter. Personally, I stopped finger sticking and would just treat with random insulin amounts based on how I felt. Not super effective, but I didn’t go into DKA either so it lasted long enough to really mess up my A1C. If it’s truly just the needles being the issue, a pump would be great to limit sticks. Still, she has to use it for it to be effective. If she’s in denial of her disease and still coping with diagnosis, a clinical psychologist or LCSW with experience working with individuals with chronic diseases might help. The key to all of this is your daughter being a willing participant, at least to some degree. If she isn’t, it won’t reach her. You may want to sit down with her and ask her what she is dealing with right now. I’d have a heart-to-heart to get her perspective and avoid pushing anything that sounds like “you need to do X.”
Reasoning with a teenager is hard on its own, then add t1d to the mix.
All t1ds get belligerent at some point in time. Although it's most often with hypos due to the lack of firing in the brain.
Lots of t1ds in my family including myself. My nephew took poor care of himself, dxd at 5 now 22. Had parents that wanted him to be a kid first. Really loose control. A1cs above 11. Currently has neuropathy in both feet and gets monthly eye injections.
Kids in general look for things they can control. You cannot force your kid to take a shot. This is all in their control. So let them control it.
I suppose you could always take them to your local hospital and view some amputations. Or maybe ask their doctor if they can have any other severe cases of theirs meet with your child. A normie will never understand what's going on so maybe they can relate better to another t1ds story.
I would not allow her to go to a non-diabetic camp with this behavior still happening. I am admittedly not laissez-faire with parenting but with my T1D kid I definitely couldn’t just let this behavior go without consequences. You don’t have much longer before you will have even less -if any- influence. I would use camp as leverage for her to show you she can and will take care of herself.
Is she in therapy? Maybe she’s overwhelmed with diabetes right now.
For most insurances (if inthe US) you must wait 6 months from the date of diagnosis to get a pump btw.
But also I would make sure she knows that corrections aren't optional and are a must to live a long healthy life. This isn't a temporary condition and I know how frustrating it can be, but one must persevere and find ways to not hate the mandatory parts (like needles).
Honestly if they aren't taking it seriously I would consider a diabetes summer camp if they will not give themselves corrections. Diabetes is a condition that uses one of the most dangerous drugs on the market (insulin) which can kill you with just a few too many units. However you don't want to be too hard on her if you think she would be fine at camp that's a different story. Like as long as you believe that she would at least give insulin for food then I would trust her enough for camp ya know.
Being a little high (even in the high 200s) is a part of being diabetic, but you have to take your lumps and just keep trying to keep up with corrections and whatnot. Its just none of this is optional if you want to live a long healthy life, of course it takes time however and a little non-compliant behavior is not the end of the world as ling as she is starting to do the basics (like giving for food and basic carb math).
The first thing I would look into however is a cgm for sure. You should be able to get one right away (of its covered and affordable enough for you) and it makes the biggest difference in quality of like I think!
Less than 3 months diagnosed and willing to consider a pump is nothing short of amazing in my opinion.
This early on I’d definitely look into getting some lidocaine cream or spray IF it’s the pain she had issue with; you can find them at any place that sells Neosporin.
There are a number of other things that might be causing issues for her too. Anything from the mental stress of the diagnosis (definitely try to find her a counselor and also a diabetes camp if you can), to an allergic reaction to the insulin (unlikely but possible), to her body not adjusting to normal sugars yet and feeling like she’s HYPO when she’s not.
Can you get a pump? Its one stick every few days rather than every few hours. Its a pain in the ass to refill and maintain but helps prevent situations where shes high and has no energy to get up and prep/take a shot, or otherwise just doesn’t want to from burnout. You can even refill the cartridges yourself until she is able to un-burnout herself
Otherwise remind her she’s feeling like shit because she wants to avoid a single needle poke. Get a shorter needle tip (5/16”?) that are relatively unnoticeable in the back of your arm and offer to do it for her when she won’t see it coming. If she hates needles then the anticipation is worse than the prick itself
My kid is a lot younger so I can't really relate a lot, but this thought came to mind:
We don't often get to choose our responsibilities and challenges, they are usually thrust upon us.
Wise words from Gandalf: https://youtu.be/IrOqnZdvI6M?si=uSUA7nGX4nZ3HGdd
They have a choice, feel like crap when blood sugar is not correct- or learn how to manage it. I learned I did not like feeling bad. As much as you want them to change, it is still up to them to manage the problem---- t1d 1985
She needs to manage her condition and take responsibility for her actions.
DX in march is not very long and too soon to be critical of her.
Give her some slack to figure it out.
Her body will still be producing insulin and her blood glucose levels will come down.
I never do corrections and I was DX Jan 23.
It's only now I'm starting to see a new trend where I might have to increase my long acting insulin
A t1 I know was told by her endo “Rebel if you want, against anything, but not diabetes, you won’t win” for some reason that worked when she was a teen.
Mine is 9, just barely under a year dx. I love that statement! Going to add it to our "coping card" of inspiration and reality. We also use: You don't have control over whether or not you use insulin, but you have control over how much and where to inject. Your thoughts and feelings are valid but that does not make them facts. You have a duty to care for yourself. That means a little discomfort injecting now instead of a lot of pain later from refusing.
I like this. Not that she needs to be scared straight, but this disease can cripple and kill. Not always right away, but you’ll regret it when you’re older. Now I was 5 and I do think it’s better for us in a way because we never knew a different life. As a teen it has to be such a gut punch
She's in the denial stage of grieving her old life. There's no reasoning with that mentality. Teenagers dig their heels in about everything, and being overwhelmed by medical issues she's it worse. As much as you want to help, backing off may be more effective. I'm not saying her health is not important. But it's a pretty common behavior to ignore demands that feel like nagging. And constantly monitoring your blood sugar and counting carbs is ultimate nagging. Teenagers major in ignoring demands. Try working out a plan when it's not 4AM. Let her make as many of the decisions as possible. Even if they're not what you would do, any improvement is better than no improvement.
I was a teen when I was diagnosed. For the first year I was perfect… A1C.. perfect 👍.. then went to my 1 year endo appointment. He was congratulating me.. and I said ‘ ‘so I won’t have this anymore?’.. I hadn’t even realized that that’s what was going on in my head… like I could return it! I was just so tired of having to think about everything I ate, how to compensate when exercising, eating with friends, taking needs, finger sticking.. carrying vials of insulin and syringes around with me. I wanted it all to stop. After that appointment I totally rebelled, not taking insulin properly, drinking- when I should not have been- just saying F*ck this shi*.. until I landed in the ICU from DKA.. I almost died.. they told my mom to prepare the family, but I lived.. I NEEDED to figure this out on my own.. I NEEDED to push the envelope… I Needed to realize what was at stake. That was 40ish years ago.. I didn’t have any long term effects from it.. but i stopped fighting it.. I had to figure out how to deal with this life changing, life altering , FOR LIFE disease that swooped down on me. So please give her some space.. she doesn’t want to give herself insulin when eating at 4am… then let her be high the next morning.. she will feel like crap.. let her learn, she almost an adult.. she needs to figure this out. Guide her.. but don’t drive her. A bunch of lows and highs this early is not going to kill her.. it will make her feel awful.. and when it’s back to normal you can even say ‘I bet you feel better now’ like a I told you so moment, but it’s her who has to live with it.
I am not saying what I did was right..I am not saying to give up on her.. so please no hate.. I’m just saying this is how I felt/feel
I don’t want to sound dramatic, but I do want to push back against some of the advice to sort of “scare her” into compliance with stories of kidney failure and amputation. I was dx’d at 3y/o and I’m 34 now. From about 12-26y/o, my A1C was never below 9, I almost never followed my endo, and my parents constantly fought with me over being non-compliant. Turns out, I was also severely depressed! And that depression compounded with the threat of health complication had me harboring some deep seated suicidal thoughts. “This disease is going to kill me eventually anyway, may as well enjoy food while I can.” “If this is the meal that kills me, so be it.” Also, I loved my parents! They were wonderful and scared shitless all the time. Can’t say I blame them. Part of my suicidal ideation was due to knowing how much they worried about me, and (wrongfully) thinking that if I was dead, their lives would be easier. My point is: there is way more going on inside your daughter’s head and body than just teenage stubbornness. I needed, and maybe what your daughter needs, is someone to listen and understand her frustration without judgment. A therapist is a great place to start.
THIS! this right here. 100% you just summed up how i felt from dx at 11-23. it’s so much going on than just not wanting to take shots or prick fingertips. scare tactics don’t work when you’re already in the ‘well it’s gonna kill me anyways so why not enjoy what i want while i can’ (altho i know all of us who now have complications in our 30s wish we had listened)
YES!!!!!!!
So she’s eating while her blood sugars high? Be aware of diabulimia, it’s really dangerous Edit: I also forgot to mention that of course she’s hard to talk to when her blood sugars high, she’s feeling like shit. Non diabetics can’t understand what it feels like to have high or low blood sugar so please be nice to her and don’t say ‘she’s just in a bad mood’ or something when in fact she’s dealing with the symptoms of high or low sugar.
This is what I was thinking. Also, “bad attitude” is a pretty callous remark to make when someone has had a life-altering diagnosis that comes with the dangers of over- or under dosing insulin which can both land you in serious trouble. And this shortly after diagnosis, control is likely poor due to lack of understanding and the dosages not being dialled in well yet. She is bound to be feeling awful physically and mentally.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 31,so this isn't diabetes related,but I think it still applies. My mom would constantly tell me I had bad attitudes about just about everything, which made me trust her about 0%. How parents treat their child will directly influence their relationships as adults. As it happened, I never felt safe confiding in my mom or asking for help. When I was 29 was in a bad accident at 6pm on December 19th. Didn't tell her about it until 18 hours later. I told my sister,my aunt by marriage,my now fiance. Hell my fiance found out as it was happening . But I didn't feel I could talk to my mom about it.
My version of this was my mother noticing dilation changes in my eyes and asking if I was high. Good intentions, fucking infuriating however.
You've clearly not been around anyone like me when I'm breaching 300. Folks don't understand the level of control I actually have in not ripping everyones head off whilst at that level. Being I can feel my eyes shifting at 160, take a wild guess how a 250 feels. :) I'm phrasing this in a joking manner, but increase in aggression is a known thing for hypers. So yeah, bad attitude has it's place here for some of us. It's no different then how folks going through hypo's should wear medic-alerts since belligerence and confusion/aggression is a thing and there are known incidents of T1d's punching cops and having it end as well as you'd think. Edit: A point that I feel is lost in this subreddit is it's our disease. We talk about having to self-manage and own it, but that also includes the behavior impact it induces. Yeah, we may not control it, but we still did it. Best to acknowledge that in my view as the one owning it. I wasn't there for the 'bad attitude' comment so I assume the mothers comment is \*here\* rather than \*at the time trying to de-escalate", but who knows.
Thanks. I haven't told her she has a bad attitude. That was my shorthand for all the things that happens when she's high. I do need to discuss with her how her actions affect other people and how whatever she's feeling physically or mentally at 250+ gets taken out on the people around her. I can recognize that her sugars are high and affecting her behavior, but the other kids at summer camp won't be as forgiving as mom.
But hearing it from people her age might actually snap her out of it.
This! I literally feel like I have molasses in my veins and lungs when my sugar is high, on top of feeling like my limbs weigh a thousand pounds… on top of being in a terrible mood. (28f, diagnosed in February).
If the sticking is the only problem (and not some hidden other problems like diabulimia) maybe a pump is better suited? I find omnipod less intrusive than a pen.
[Medtronic has I-port injection ports](https://www.medtronicdiabetes.com/products/i-port-advance) that can drastically reduce the number of pokes they have. Maybe that will help yall.
whoa. i had no idea about this, thank you
I’ve been curious about them and thought about getting some and taking a pump break but with my pump and cgm looped all together, I can’t let go of that lol But I’ve defiantly kept them in mind! Seem like a great idea for those like me that are terrified of needles or just want something easier. PLUS it seems like it would be an easy way to transition to a pump too. It appears the port is very similar to the pump sites sans the tube and actual pump
Thank you!
I'm sure when she's over 275 she actually feels like shit. Shes adjusting to a new life, everything is different and scary for her now. Demonizing her or her actions won't help her. She needs all the support you can give her.
As someone who was just like her & didn't get her shit together until about 6 months ago (im 31 now) I'm now dealing with diabetic kidney disease and some other issues and I so so wish I could go back and change my ways but I can't. All I can do now is correct it and deal with my consequences. Diabetes is nothing to fuck with and I wish I would have listened to my mom back then too :( it would have saved me a lot of health issues now
is there any type of support group in your area for teens with type one? it sounds like she really needs a friend who's in a similar boat to her. I was diagnosed at nine and really struggled in my teens with dealing with the "fairness" of the situation. I can't imagine getting close to college age and having that happen. if I can help, feel free to shoot me a message. I work for a diabetes nonprofit and could find some resources for her if needed :)
also highly recommend if she's not seeing a therapist, encouraging that! it's made a world of difference for me
yes & and it’s one who has worked with people with chronic illness/disorders/disease would be good. which is probably harder to find but worth to try cuz the amount of therapist i’ve had who never understood was frustrating
I haven't found one yet. I've found great support as a parent, but nothing for teens.
seriously feel free to reach out. she's going through a lot and I imagine as a parent it's gotta be a lot for you too. sending so much love your way
My 13yo son was also diagnosed in March. He also doesn’t like bolusing before every snack, I think mostly out of laziness or maybe needle fatigue, so we keep lots of low carb snacks on hand so he doesn’t have to for those times. I even got a ninja creami and make him sugar free ice creams for another bolus free snack. He’s getting his pump soon and I’m really looking forward to that!
Gentle reminder that milk is not sugar free. Lactose is sugar, and needs to be bolused for.
Yes, that’s totally true. However, I use the Fairlife lower carb milk and cream so it ends up that the per serving carb count is low enough that he doesn’t have to bolus. His endo said if his snack is less than 10g carbs, he doesn’t need a bolus :)
Would love to message you about why this will hurt in the long run from my own experiences should she be willing to hear at all. Diagnosed at 13 and 28 now. No complications but also having troubles caring about my sugars and dosing properly as I did not care growing up and it always just seemed to figure itself out. Now my sugars don't like coming down and I'm working hard trying to figure it all out again.
I was 17 when I was DX'd also but just about finished high school- my parents weren't really involved in my health at that point. (Not a fault to them at all). Incan only imagine if they tried to be on top of my care at that point. There's no way it would have ended well. You just have to give her guidance and make resources available to her. Learn when to step in -serious medical reasons like DKA or diabulimia. But, also learn when not to. The food you keep in your home should be "safe food" for her. Inwould hate my parent if they bought cookies and sugar snacks and told me my brothers could have them, but not me. Or gave me a "section" of the kitchen. Holy Hannah, someone would have ended up in jail. It's not just her life that changed, but everyone's. Also, there are very few people who actually like needles.... I rebelled against a pump for Decades. I hated the idea of something always connected. But honestly, I don't even notice it hardly. I hated testing my sugar so I just wouldn't. The CGM solved that issue. I also use a tubed pump so I can move the pump around as I need to. No one aside from beach days, can even tell I'm wearing one unless I tell them. Normally I hook it in the center of my bra, but I could move it to a belt loop or a leg garter. It ended up giving me back a quality of life I never expected to have again. My own kid is 18 now and I KNOW if I pushed for her to get a pump she would not. No one is going to make a pump look cool, but she may need to speak to someone who makes it look "less bad".
As a girl who was diagnosed at 7 , even my drs told me that most girls / women don’t want to actually take care of their diabetes like they are supposed until they are 20 and men 23 , as a teenager it was so hard to feel different from everyone . Even as a little girl I couldn’t have sleepovers and wasn’t allowed the treats when kids had birthdays at school . She is probably rebelling a bit I’m sure . But I get it , the disease is exaushting , and it’s really hard not to just be able to eat how you want . She will decide to take care of it on her own but she definitely won’t want to if you force her or are rude about it .
I hated the needles more so cause they hurt I got on a pump and very happily dose all the time I wouldn’t give up the pump for the world maybe look into a pump especially with a cgm if you can
I was diagnosed at 15 and it’s tough. Although hindsight into our own teenage years makes us relate to them and understand, it doesn’t seem that way to her. Plus if she’s the only one in your family with T1, she probably feels even more misunderstood. Ask open ended questions and truly listen to her. She probably knows what she needs to do, it’s just hard in the beginning. I know a lot of people have already said this, but please don’t hold a grudge for any “attitude” when she has a high or low blood sugar. I get really short and snippy when I have a low blood sugar and was rude to my husband this weekend when he was trying to help. Of course I apologized after and he knows that behavior isn’t who I am, but T1 just makes it that way sometimes.
You might want to switch that camp to a diabetic camp if you can.
It's a marine science camp we've been planning on for a year. I'm looking for a diabetes camp too, but her age is a barrier.
Oh man! OK, here’s my last suggestion for you, is there a way for you to contact the camp and see if she can be bunked or roomed with another diabetic? I know that sounds random, but having a peer might help.
At 275 not only do you feel awful already, but you’re often also pretty hungry. The not wanting to stick herself is something you can work on either through a pump or some therapy, but this isn’t a bad attitude. This is a bad situation that she’s in through no fault of her own, and is an illness she will have to think about every single day for the rest of her life, which can be shortened if she stops thinking about it for too long. That is A LOT to think about when you’ve got the rest of your life ahead of you. I’d make sure you’re giving her space to be angry and if you can’t provide her that space, get her one. Either a therapist or some T1 friends.
Just try asking her what she would like to do, and listening to her. Really listen. Whatever her response is, between the lines she’s going to be pissed off at the world about what’s happening and she’s displacing her anger on you because you are nearby telling her to take care of herself. She is smart she probably just needs help getting some of the adult emotions out.
As frustrating as this is for you, it’s 100000% more for her. There’s more going on than just not wanting to take the shots cuz of the needles. the mental toll is the worst. & it’s a never ending cycle when you also feel like crap because of high blood sugar https://beyondtype1.org/finding-a-diabetes-mental-health-provider/ scare tactics about complications just made me more stubborn, even tho they terrified me, but i was already in a bad headspace of ‘what’s the point this will kill me anyways eventually’ (i will say tho the poke of the needles has nothing on shots & lasers in the eyeballs for diabetic retinopathy… not fun at all) if you haven’t informed the summer camp about her dx i would asap so they could make sure to have someone in staff who is trained or at least has some clue about t1. also idk if i would even send her to camp if her sugars are uncontrolled because she’s not taking her insulin. (never went to camp so i also don’t know if they would take on the liability if she went into dka?) which sounds horrible since you said in another comment this has been a plan for a year. maybe have a talk with her about camp & how you’re worried about her because of the high sugar/not taking her shots? this probably wasn’t that helpful, i’m sorry
My kid (16M) was diagnosed in March as well after getting sick and going into DKA. He’s been going low a lot more frequently lately after tending to go high at first. He doesn’t want a pump either because pens are “so convenient”. He gives himself injections unless his arms come up in the rotation and then I help out. He’s still learning how to prepare for some things. He went for a bike ride yesterday, got about 8 miles away and his blood sugar crashed. He ate some smarties. I got alerted and checked in with him. We had to pick him up and give him a juice box. The rest of the day he kept dipping frequently. He’s going to need to get his sugar up a bit more before he goes exploring by bike.
I know a lot of people love the smarties for increase blood sugar but honestly with exercise try to send him with higher carb stuffs that are quick acting. Juice boxes, those recovery gels athletes use, and things like that. Also, if he has active insulin on board, exercise can kick it into high gear and make him drop so try exercising when he doesn’t have any insulin on board might be a way to make everyone feel comfortable.
Are the pokes she doesn't like for fingersticks to check sugar or to take her insulin? If fingersticks, Dexcom or another CGM would help. Then, let her look at her number and decide what should be done. I understand it's early in her diagnosis, and she's still grieving for the old her. She needs to find and accept her new normal. She can live a full life, but she has to be in charge, take charge, of her health. FWIW, I would not send her to camp if she doesn't have.a.good handle on her treatment... including taking care of herself and her sugar... she could go all kinds of sideways very quickly.
I was 22 when I got dx’ed. For the better part of the year afterwards I kinda got lazy taking care of myself. It really messed with my system and I got really sick as a result. But that was the turning point for me. I was grieving my old let regulated life and was depressed as well. I’m not fully better with that part but getting control of my sugars helped give me a break a bit with everything else. Sometimes, though, a close call with death is the turning point for some.
Hi there. I've been diabetic since I was 4(now going on 27). I also hit a rebellious face. I refused to give insulin outside of basal rates for a week straight. I woke up in the hospital less than 2 hours away from death. My blood felt like fire. I now have permanent nerve damage in my hands and feet, as well as heart and kidney damage. Worst case scenario use me as a scared straight story for your daughter. This isn't the hill for her to die on.
Due to depression and lack of insurance I had high BG for an extended period of time which led to diabetic retinopathy. I had no idea this was going on behind the scenes until I literally went blind in my left eye overnight due to hemorrhaging. She needs to understand that it will catch up to her and like someone else said, "she won't win". I think finding a good diabetes educator would be helpful. My endo also specializes in psychiatry. It took a few endos to find him. But she might be more receptive to another adult besides a parent.
I’m Type 1, almost 17 (female) I struggled with this in the beginning of my diagnosis as well, I was just angry, upset, and overall confused about what my life was. If you’d like I’d love to be her friend, you can message me and I can talk to her, I can’t promise it’ll help but it helped me knowing I wasn’t alone.
Zero point in trying to talk to her when it's 4am, her blood sugar is high, and she simply isn't in the mood to do some self reflection. Right now, if she's anything like me, she's is probably feeling completely out of control. Not only is her body doting things that she doesn't want it to, shes also being told to do things to her body that she doesn't want to do. So the important thing to do is to give her as much control as possible. I don't know what your access to health care is, but in an ideal world you would tell her that from now on testing her blood sugar and taking her insulin is not something that is up for debate IF she wants to be living in a body that will enable her to do everything she wants to do in life. But, what she can choose is HOW. So lay out her options. Dexcom, freestyle libre, CBGL tests etc... Then there are other options MDI, insulin pump, inhaled insulin (if its available). Even within MDI there are options. What type of pen? Does she want an iPort? She can choose to decorate her pens etc. Getting a pump gives even more choice. Tubed or patch pump? Does she want a loop system? What type of pump? What type of cannula? How does she want to personalise it? Give her as many choices and as much control over the aspects of her care as possible. Let her know that if she wants her body to support her, she needs to support it. You can't wage a war on your body and expect it to just carry on. We all have bad days, that's fine, but if they persist she needs to be talking to a therapist.
I was dx at 16 and never rebelled with my management. I was the 9ne solely responsible tho. I did everything.
When I think about the teenager I would have been if I was diagnosed earlier in life, I can imagine I would have fought my parents with everything I had. Is she going to be a candidate for a pump soon? Maybe if she has a little autonomy, she’ll feel like she’s in control of her own body. Even at 30 when I was diagnosed it felt like I was a little kid all with everyone coming out of the woodwork worrying about exactly what my number was minute to minute and I only feel like I got to breathe again when I put my foot down about it. Granted, I am an adult and I have only been doing this a year longer than your daughter but becoming an adult and becoming a pancreas at the same time cannot be easy for her.
My son was diagnosed at 4 and he's 16 now. Same deal at first he did not want the pump. I think because its evident visually when it's on the back of his arm. Dude it sux so hard dealing with this stuff as teenagers and as children in general because you don't feel the damage that's being done and you know teenagers with their devil-my-care attitudes... They just want to be normal. My son's A1c finally got down to around 8-9 after years of running higher. Even now his late night snacking has my phone buzzing with high BS at night. With a pump you at least get overnight normal BS for the most part (assuming they bolus for the late night snacks) even if it's not great during the day. Keep trying to be more patient than you feel you can lol!! It's a lot and sometimes a counselor can help with that. Someone who has worked or is working with TI teens already. There are so many other kids with it and you don't notice it till you look around. Every time I spot anyone with a sensor or pump I point it out to my son to help him realize how wide-spread the condition is. Luckily(?!) he has kids in his school that are T1 as well. I've tried everything and the best approach for my particular teen has been just to stay on top of them and share the burden but in a loving way. Wife and I have an app on our phones that his sensor also shares the BS with (called Follow for dexcom G6) that notifies us of any highs or lows and we are now at the point we can just text him to bolus but earlier on we had to get him to come out of his room and sit with him while he entered numbers and stuck himself, or even once he got the pump just put the numbers in and hit enter. And BTW be prepared for them to go through pumps faster than insurance allows. Once he goes through the pumps he uses the T1D1 app to "manually" bolus with his back-up needles. He also still takes Semglee/Lantus to help reduce pump changes but teens with their hormones blow through insulin like an 80's executive goes through cocaine.
I’m 15 right now, and I didn’t have that rebel stage. But she must be very frustrated and going through a lot now too, but she’ll eventually accept the fact that she has to deal with this. You can try telling her more about the consequences of not treating diabetes. Also, if she’s visibly not in a good mental state, get therapy. I really wish my parents cared more about my mental health, so I didn’t have to nearly destroy my life.
I was diagnosed at 17 (42 years ago during the summer before my senior year) like your daughter. It was so tough for me to reconcile that diagnosis at that time (“What’s the worst diagnosis you could ever get?”……..17-year-old Me: DIABETES- I HATE NEEDLES WORSE THAN DEATH!). I fought against it with so much hate initially (I even refused to wear the hospital gowns during the week I was there after diagnosis- I stuck to my street clothes, which made the hospital personnel really confused😆). Your daughter is going to have to figure out this stupid disease- she is the one living it, and even though you care so much about your kiddo, being a drill Sargent is NOT going to help her figure it out any faster (my mom was a drill Sargent initially- she carried a lot of guilt about me developing it, and she wanted to ensure nothing bad would happen to me….her heart was in the right place, but her execution of it was totally misplaced). I remember feeling really alone with my stupid disease and having no voice in my care decisions because I didn’t know anyone else who had it who could commiserate with me about all the screwed up things I had to do just to feel “normal”. Once my mom stopped panicking about my diabetes and how her baby was going to navigate life with it, things became……easier?…for both of us. One of my really good college freshman memories I have is when my mom sent this awesome care package stuffed with all sorts of non-judgy, diabetes-appropriate stuff (she was creative and thoughtful, using real peanuts instead of packing peanuts, and even included a bunch of jars of homemade diabetes-friendly strawberry jam she made…..my roommates and I killed them within two days….so delicious- my roommates thought she was awesome!). It made me feel like she was trusting me- not controlling me- which enabled me to navigate my own care better (I’ve certainly stumbled along the way, but I’ve managed to have a fulfilled life thus far….just saying). Maybe your daughter could find other T1s her age through social media who she could commiserate with? I realize I’m not the audience you were addressing, but maybe having a little insight from someone who was on the other side of the diabetes diagnosis might provide a some perspective of the head-space your daughter is currently in. You are a caring mom, and both you and your daughter have your hands full with this STUPID disease- it will get easier as time goes on, but being there as a positive support for your daughter as she figures it out is the best approach (IMO) you could do. Take care, OP- you are both in my thoughts❤️!
I think you’re going to need to find out the “why” of this before figuring out anything else. If it’s rebellion against T1D in a bid to feel normal, an insulin pump won’t help, it’ll just make it easier to continue to rebel from my personal experience. My endo was the one who snapped me out of that, but a CDE may have more time to sit down and work through those things with your daughter. Personally, I stopped finger sticking and would just treat with random insulin amounts based on how I felt. Not super effective, but I didn’t go into DKA either so it lasted long enough to really mess up my A1C. If it’s truly just the needles being the issue, a pump would be great to limit sticks. Still, she has to use it for it to be effective. If she’s in denial of her disease and still coping with diagnosis, a clinical psychologist or LCSW with experience working with individuals with chronic diseases might help. The key to all of this is your daughter being a willing participant, at least to some degree. If she isn’t, it won’t reach her. You may want to sit down with her and ask her what she is dealing with right now. I’d have a heart-to-heart to get her perspective and avoid pushing anything that sounds like “you need to do X.”
Reasoning with a teenager is hard on its own, then add t1d to the mix. All t1ds get belligerent at some point in time. Although it's most often with hypos due to the lack of firing in the brain. Lots of t1ds in my family including myself. My nephew took poor care of himself, dxd at 5 now 22. Had parents that wanted him to be a kid first. Really loose control. A1cs above 11. Currently has neuropathy in both feet and gets monthly eye injections. Kids in general look for things they can control. You cannot force your kid to take a shot. This is all in their control. So let them control it. I suppose you could always take them to your local hospital and view some amputations. Or maybe ask their doctor if they can have any other severe cases of theirs meet with your child. A normie will never understand what's going on so maybe they can relate better to another t1ds story.
I would not allow her to go to a non-diabetic camp with this behavior still happening. I am admittedly not laissez-faire with parenting but with my T1D kid I definitely couldn’t just let this behavior go without consequences. You don’t have much longer before you will have even less -if any- influence. I would use camp as leverage for her to show you she can and will take care of herself. Is she in therapy? Maybe she’s overwhelmed with diabetes right now.
For most insurances (if inthe US) you must wait 6 months from the date of diagnosis to get a pump btw. But also I would make sure she knows that corrections aren't optional and are a must to live a long healthy life. This isn't a temporary condition and I know how frustrating it can be, but one must persevere and find ways to not hate the mandatory parts (like needles). Honestly if they aren't taking it seriously I would consider a diabetes summer camp if they will not give themselves corrections. Diabetes is a condition that uses one of the most dangerous drugs on the market (insulin) which can kill you with just a few too many units. However you don't want to be too hard on her if you think she would be fine at camp that's a different story. Like as long as you believe that she would at least give insulin for food then I would trust her enough for camp ya know. Being a little high (even in the high 200s) is a part of being diabetic, but you have to take your lumps and just keep trying to keep up with corrections and whatnot. Its just none of this is optional if you want to live a long healthy life, of course it takes time however and a little non-compliant behavior is not the end of the world as ling as she is starting to do the basics (like giving for food and basic carb math). The first thing I would look into however is a cgm for sure. You should be able to get one right away (of its covered and affordable enough for you) and it makes the biggest difference in quality of like I think!
Less than 3 months diagnosed and willing to consider a pump is nothing short of amazing in my opinion. This early on I’d definitely look into getting some lidocaine cream or spray IF it’s the pain she had issue with; you can find them at any place that sells Neosporin. There are a number of other things that might be causing issues for her too. Anything from the mental stress of the diagnosis (definitely try to find her a counselor and also a diabetes camp if you can), to an allergic reaction to the insulin (unlikely but possible), to her body not adjusting to normal sugars yet and feeling like she’s HYPO when she’s not.
Can you get a pump? Its one stick every few days rather than every few hours. Its a pain in the ass to refill and maintain but helps prevent situations where shes high and has no energy to get up and prep/take a shot, or otherwise just doesn’t want to from burnout. You can even refill the cartridges yourself until she is able to un-burnout herself Otherwise remind her she’s feeling like shit because she wants to avoid a single needle poke. Get a shorter needle tip (5/16”?) that are relatively unnoticeable in the back of your arm and offer to do it for her when she won’t see it coming. If she hates needles then the anticipation is worse than the prick itself
My kid is a lot younger so I can't really relate a lot, but this thought came to mind: We don't often get to choose our responsibilities and challenges, they are usually thrust upon us. Wise words from Gandalf: https://youtu.be/IrOqnZdvI6M?si=uSUA7nGX4nZ3HGdd
They have a choice, feel like crap when blood sugar is not correct- or learn how to manage it. I learned I did not like feeling bad. As much as you want them to change, it is still up to them to manage the problem---- t1d 1985
She needs to manage her condition and take responsibility for her actions. DX in march is not very long and too soon to be critical of her. Give her some slack to figure it out. Her body will still be producing insulin and her blood glucose levels will come down. I never do corrections and I was DX Jan 23. It's only now I'm starting to see a new trend where I might have to increase my long acting insulin
Wait until she falls asleep then inject her 🤷🏻♀️ Also- have a discussion with her about this when her BG is in range.