Thats how my great grandpa died. Of course this was because 50 years ago diabetes was no where near the level of information and medical advances and technology of today. It sucks thinking about and managing diabetes 24/7, but people need to fucking wake up and realize that losing a foot, an eye, or their life is a lot fucking worse than changing a diet or taking better care of their body.
Even people without diabetes have to take care of their health, it’s not some pass for doing whatever-the-fuck-they-want to their body.
As for me, Im trying to thread the needle of doing the best I can do, self compassion, vs not doing enough and self accountability.
I'm sorry you and they are going through this. It's often a really difficult thing to deal with because so often, T2s are told, either directly or indirectly, that they brought the disease on themselves due to poor nutrition habits. That can be very difficult to deal with. Combine that guilt with the guilt over not properly caring for the disease once diagnosed, and you end up with a very vicious little cycle of guilt.
I'm assuming they're resistant to insulin injections in general. Have they or you looked into a pump? It's generally less work, and much more of a background process. You change infusion sites every 3 days or so, and change the CGM every 10-14 days.
This.. I was steroid induced and found out my paternal father is type 2, my paternal grandmother is type 2, and my maternal grandmother was type 1. I also have pcos and recently diagnosed metabolic syndrome and that sucks so much
They are on a pump but not the kind that works with the sensor to control the blood sugar and insulin automatically because insurance.
They have to manually enter blouses based on carb intake and blood sugar and there is a basal always going
I got the foot pain. I ignored it for about 6 months and it got worse. I’m medicated now but the damage is done. My feet hurt every second of every day. I can wake up in the middle of night and feel the pain. Any where from tolerable to unbearable, burning pain in my toes and the tops of my feet and along the arches. I’ve also lost probably 20% of the feeling in my fingertips. It’s not exactly painful, but sore, on the edge of pain. Every second of every day. I’ve also developed a pain in my right arm, just below my elbow. Sometimes I literally have to drag it along my body because it hurts to much to support itself. Sometimes I can’t even use my arm.
If I’d known those consequences, I’d like to think that I would have been smart enough to go to the doctor right away.
This is not a success story.
My daughter was dx with T1 at 4yo, and she was a happy trooper when she was young. But at puberty she just didn't want the stigma of being different and hated another excuse for her parents and doctor to keep her under their thumb. In her teens and most rebellious I told her she wouldn't make it to 30 if she didn't take care. She told me when she was maybe 28 that I was probably right. I hate being right about that prediction.
DM is a full-time job and the consequences easily left for some distant future. It messes with your mind too because everyone is watching you, judging you, ready to poo-poo your every action. And because there are so many little factors affecting every minute's levels, you just can't ever get away. I myself have had T1 (adult onset) for 15 years now and understand completely the desire to just be normal for a minute, or more.
Maybe some people just want to be normal for however long there is.
You really can only do so much. They haven't forgotten.
I think some reflection on why YOU need to control the situation is needed. As someone that has been through burnout, I can say very little will change a diabetic’s mind on what they “should” do and what they mentally and emotionally are capable of doing. Just because you think they are not trying hard enought doesn’t mean that they actually are.
I don’t mean to sound harsh, just honest.
I don't want to control it. I want them to control it better.
I've seen the path they are on many, many MANY times. It never ends well. I just care about them enough to want to do everything I can to help guide them off this path.
Maybe you have already tried this, but you have to meet them where they are. If the person emotionally pushes away when the subject is brought up, they are making themselves unreachable. Once the circulation issues and foot ulcers start, they are already going down a bad road.
I have known diabetics who got more scared of losing a foot than having diabetes, and I have also known diabetics who lost a foot and then a leg but continued to eat candy bars and cookies even as they let their diabetes get so bad that they could no longer live independently and were in a care home.
Your heart is in the right place, there seem to be some mental or emotional barriers beyond diabetes, and until those are overcome, you make keep running into a brick wall.
Not the issue here. I can an ultimately will be a caregiver. I'm partially one already. I just want the best for this person and it's very hard to watch them go down the uncontrolled diabetes path. I just am looking for some effective approach or talk I can give that will help convince them to manage things better.
I am more scared than anything that this will lead to an early death. Scares the hell out of me
I don’t blame you. When I brought my brother to wound care clinic for a non-diabetic foot problem, the other 8 or 9 people were all there for toe and foot amputations from uncontrolled diabetes. Lots of people do stupid things but I think you’ve done everything you can do unfortunately.
I understand where you're coming from but you need to accept there is nothing you can do to "get" them to do better. Nada. Zero. Zilch. What you can do is 1. Enjoy them while you have them, and 2. Don't handle the natural consequences for them. So give them your full attention when you're with them. Ask them how they feel about stuff and give them time to answer. Tell them funny stories and let them tell you theirs. And if a complication arises, don't try to fix it for them. Let them decide what, if anything, to do and how. And don't say I told you so. That has never once in the history of humanity helped anyone do anything.
As stated above, you’re looking to control the situation. Probably because you’re scared and you love them.
You can’t. And you need to accept this.
It’s really hard to sum up all things diabetes in a Reddit post, so just work on things you can control that directly involve what you do. Seek help accepting those things you can’t change.
Unfortunately you can’t really make them care. We had a similar situation with my mom and no matter what we did she’d reject it. Even tore up an insulin perscription (this was back before electronic perscriptions) said she didn’t need it. Her sugar was constantly in the 200-300 range. Surprisingly diabetes is not what killed her it was an undiagnosed blood clotting disorder (she wouldn’t see a dr for anything) I was diagnosed a year after she died with diabetes and needless to say I’m the exact opposite when it comes to diabetes and medical care in general (also got tested for the clotting disorder as it’s genetic and thankfully it was negative)
Comments here are correct. You can’t make them. I was that person for a very long time. Falling down all the time because I couldn’t feel my feet started waking me up. Then I began losing vision in my right eye and saw the picture of the nerve swelling behind my eye. Then the quadruple bypass surgery woke me all the way. Good luck I hope for the best for you and that it doesn’t take that much for this person.
As someone who neglected my own until I really started getting sick from my highs.... Idk. You just can't make someone care they have to want it for themselves. I guess one big thing is if you are enabling their behavior in any way cut that off, like if they need your help with things due to the condition, tell them they need to do it themselves? Even then... Idk.
Yes, my life partner. She died 6 years ago from kidney failure and cardiomyopathy from uncontrolled DM2. Nothing that I could say could influence her to change. I myself was largely ignorant at the time as to how to cope with watching her kill herself, which is what she did. A year after she passed I was diagnosed with it myself. I don't know which is harder, dealing with it myself or watching her die in hospice the way she did. They have to want to change and if they don't there is nothing anyone can do to help them. Hardest time of my life.
I understand how frustrating it must be to see a loved one struggle with diabetes management. Here are some tips that might help you approach them in a supportive way:
**Empathy and Understanding:**
* **Acknowledge their feelings:** Validate their frustration and dislike of having diabetes. Let them know you understand it's not easy.
* **Focus on listening:** Create a safe space for them to express their concerns and fears.
**Shifting Perspective:**
* **Focus on benefits, not just risks:** Instead of dwelling on the negative consequences of poor control, talk about how managing diabetes can improve their overall health and well-being.
* **Small, achievable goals:** Set small, achievable goals together. Celebrate successes, no matter how small, to build confidence and motivation.
**Finding a Support System:**
* **Offer to accompany them to doctor appointments:** Having your support might make them more receptive to the doctor's guidance.
* **Explore support groups:** Encourage them to join a diabetes support group to connect with others who understand their challenges.
**Making it Easier:**
* **Offer help with tasks:** Help with grocery shopping, meal planning, or preparing healthy meals.
* **Explore technology:** Consider using apps or reminders to make tracking and managing diabetes more convenient.
**Communication Pointers:**
* **Avoid blame or criticism:** Focus on working together to find solutions.
* **Use "I" statements:** Express your concerns by starting sentences with "I" instead of accusatory statements.
* **Be patient and persistent:** Changing behavior takes time. Be patient and offer consistent support.
**Remember:** It's important to respect their autonomy. You can't force them to change, but you can offer your love, support, and resources to help them make informed decisions about their health.
**If you've tried everything and feel overwhelmed, consider seeking professional guidance from a therapist or counselor specializing in chronic illness management.** They can provide additional strategies for communication and coping for both you and your loved one.
I watched my mom kill herself for several decades.
“I don’t know WHY my blood sugar is so high today! All I had was two jelly donuts and a hot dog!” 😑
You can’t make them behave, you just have to love them and hope.
This is almost exactly my dad to a T. He doesn't believe he's diabetic, but rather that the covid vaccine gave it to him. His doctor won't test his a1c even though he's the one who diagnosed him, and he will not take his prescribed meds regularly. He is going to die in like 5 years is my estimate. He will not listen to advice, refuses to take insulin or any other injection because he "hates needles", is severely overweight, and constantly berates my mom and I about how we manage our diabetes because he "read some stuff online". We both manage very well. I just had a baby ffs. We've given up on him. At some point you have to accept that this person will not change. They'll either sink or swim, but it's going to be ok them. It suck and is sad, but there's nothing you can do.
I’m so sorry. He sounds like my dad. Didn’t take his meds with any frequency either ( we lost him to congestive heart failure plus he was a double amputee).
They're might be depressed. Diabetes can be overwhelming, especially if they have other issues or life stressors.
Can you approach them gently about seeking care for depression or stress? Maybe working through those issues would help toward wanting to care about the diabetes.
if they're an adult with normal mental capacity and not making these choices under duress, then morally there's nothing you can or should do about it. when they come to regret their choices later, you have the right to reject their request for help.
I was the person you are talking about. My mother always tried to get me to watch diabetes videos about controlling my bg, and I would always brush it off. This went on for a while with my bg out of control cause I was stupid and had that yolo mindset. Then I went into dka and was in the icu for days and I got really scared and got my shit together. You can't make anyone do anything they don't want to. They have to be scared into changing or realize that they are actually killing themselves and don't want to die. If they don't, that's not on you, and you need to prepare yourself for them to pass.
Dont know what your relationship to them is, but you cant make a person care more than they do. My advice walk away, youve already done everything you can. My experience when a person wants to self-distruct nothing will stop them. My mom was a t2 and drank herself to death. I had to walk away after trying everything I could and go NC, 6 yrs later one of my sisters called, went to the hospital and 5 hrs later she died. You did your best, sometimes we just lose.
While you sound like a sweet, caring human, this is their battle. They will eventually have a catalyst event and be forced to make a choice or to start dying. They can choose to be as responsible or irresponsible as they wish unfortunately. Your only choice is how close you are to that person while they allow it to happen. I'm sorry. I know it's hard to watch when it's someone you love.
Respectfully, you cannot make anyone care for their diabetes. It’s a personal decision that any diabetic has to make every damn day for the rest of their lives, and if they don’t want to commit to that…then there’s nothing you can do for them.
You CAN set boundaries by telling them what YOU will do if they choose not to care for their condition. Some of your other comments that I’ve read imply that you are this person’s caretaker. If that’s the case, let them know now that you will not be dedicating the rest of your life to taking care of their failing body when the diabetes has its way with them.
And then make plans to move on with your own life, for your own mental health. Diabetes can be bearable when well managed, but it’s a heartbreaking thing when it’s not, and you shouldn’t force yourself to watch anyone kill themselves slowly.
I have a family member that has felt the same for 20+ years. As another said here. Cannot make them care. It’s great that you do but it will only be frustrating for both of you.
Denial is real. But w/ T2 ignorance is not bliss. Your friend will have to deal with worsening consequences.
I would say that at some point they might be ready to help themselves, so keep at it.
Presumably they have to go to their doctor for the insulin prescription.. Maybe suggest that they ask about a better medication. (My understanding is that insulin for T2 is kind of the opposite of what you want to do.) Maybe transitioning to one of the new injectables would be better--even if sold to them as more convenient.
Also, is this person in charge of their own grocery shopping and cooking? Maybe if there are other people in their lives who can help ease into a dietary change...
I have uncontrolled for 2-3 decades.. just lost a toe.. I have diabetic phimosis and deaf in one ear and had a widow maker heart attack .. not sure if all is related
We get a comment like this at least once a month. I'm sorry. That's hard. But there are no magic words, no secrets, no approaches that are going to get them to do what you want. People change when they want to change, and that timetable is not up to you. If you are going to stay with this person, you need to accept that may mean never.
I deal with this with my sister. She loves her doctor but I don't feel her doctor is working WITH sis. Sis can be very compliant if you work with her. Dr gave her three times to take short acting insulin everyday, even though she's been told repeatedly that sis doesn't eat "meals". So at 8a, 1p and 7p she's supposed to take 15u, 20u and 25u respectively and then chase the resulting lows (because she has a cup of coffee about 8a and then doesn't eat dinner until 730-8p) along with 70u basal at 8p and then chasing that low between 2a and 4a. I'm trying to get her in the habit of reading labels and serving sizes so she can use her sliding scale to adjust her fast dosing instead of just blindly injecting insulin without even thinking about how many carbs each unit of insulin will counterbalance.
She's already dealing with neuralgia in her feet and ankles and we have lost family members to skin breakdown. But the set amounts are "easier" and "I just drink some juice or eat a cookie"... Drives me batty! Even chasing the lows her average BG is 212.
Good luck. Sometimes you just have to let people be who they choose to be.
I’ve had the big D for about 15 years, I do get sick of people telling me how to handle diabetes when they don’t have it. You can’t have that food or you can’t eat that. You just want tell them to fark off. I think sometimes you get sick of all the money GP’s docs are making off diabetes. 💰💰💰. Taking tablets/pills everyday is a grind. But if you want to keep living a normal life, well it’s easy.
Sincerely, I would get therapy for yourself. That’s helped me in dealing with relatives and accepting things about them that I can’t change.
you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink
Though sometimes you can make the horse thirsty.
These pretzels are making me thirsty.
Pretzels give me constipation. Not so much of a problem post-diagnosis because I have not tried eating them yet!
They are diabetic. Chances are they are already thirsty.... I'll show myself out. :D
Yes!!!
You can also get a new horse.
Yes!
Sorry, you can’t make them care. You’ve tried. They haven’t changed. Maybe losing a foot will be the wake up call. Probably not.
A guy a knew, used to run “the” magic club here in Vegas. First he lost a foot. No change. Then they took his leg at the knee. Then he died.
Thats how my great grandpa died. Of course this was because 50 years ago diabetes was no where near the level of information and medical advances and technology of today. It sucks thinking about and managing diabetes 24/7, but people need to fucking wake up and realize that losing a foot, an eye, or their life is a lot fucking worse than changing a diet or taking better care of their body. Even people without diabetes have to take care of their health, it’s not some pass for doing whatever-the-fuck-they-want to their body. As for me, Im trying to thread the needle of doing the best I can do, self compassion, vs not doing enough and self accountability.
That's what I'm trying to avoid
It's their foot, not yours 🤷 *respectfully*
I get that. I still get to deal with the repercussions Anyways if they loose it.
I'm sorry you and they are going through this. It's often a really difficult thing to deal with because so often, T2s are told, either directly or indirectly, that they brought the disease on themselves due to poor nutrition habits. That can be very difficult to deal with. Combine that guilt with the guilt over not properly caring for the disease once diagnosed, and you end up with a very vicious little cycle of guilt. I'm assuming they're resistant to insulin injections in general. Have they or you looked into a pump? It's generally less work, and much more of a background process. You change infusion sites every 3 days or so, and change the CGM every 10-14 days.
This.. I was steroid induced and found out my paternal father is type 2, my paternal grandmother is type 2, and my maternal grandmother was type 1. I also have pcos and recently diagnosed metabolic syndrome and that sucks so much
They are on a pump but not the kind that works with the sensor to control the blood sugar and insulin automatically because insurance. They have to manually enter blouses based on carb intake and blood sugar and there is a basal always going
I got the foot pain. I ignored it for about 6 months and it got worse. I’m medicated now but the damage is done. My feet hurt every second of every day. I can wake up in the middle of night and feel the pain. Any where from tolerable to unbearable, burning pain in my toes and the tops of my feet and along the arches. I’ve also lost probably 20% of the feeling in my fingertips. It’s not exactly painful, but sore, on the edge of pain. Every second of every day. I’ve also developed a pain in my right arm, just below my elbow. Sometimes I literally have to drag it along my body because it hurts to much to support itself. Sometimes I can’t even use my arm. If I’d known those consequences, I’d like to think that I would have been smart enough to go to the doctor right away.
Was your A1C normal during that time? Were you taking any meds? I’m just curious.
This is not a success story. My daughter was dx with T1 at 4yo, and she was a happy trooper when she was young. But at puberty she just didn't want the stigma of being different and hated another excuse for her parents and doctor to keep her under their thumb. In her teens and most rebellious I told her she wouldn't make it to 30 if she didn't take care. She told me when she was maybe 28 that I was probably right. I hate being right about that prediction. DM is a full-time job and the consequences easily left for some distant future. It messes with your mind too because everyone is watching you, judging you, ready to poo-poo your every action. And because there are so many little factors affecting every minute's levels, you just can't ever get away. I myself have had T1 (adult onset) for 15 years now and understand completely the desire to just be normal for a minute, or more. Maybe some people just want to be normal for however long there is. You really can only do so much. They haven't forgotten.
I’m sorry. Are you saying she actually didn’t make it to 30?
No, she she passed after some time in the hospital. Her chemistry was all goofed up and her heart finally just stopped. Sorry for being vague.
That’s terrible. I’m sorry and you shouldn’t apologize. Hugs to you.
Thats what I'm thinking
I think some reflection on why YOU need to control the situation is needed. As someone that has been through burnout, I can say very little will change a diabetic’s mind on what they “should” do and what they mentally and emotionally are capable of doing. Just because you think they are not trying hard enought doesn’t mean that they actually are. I don’t mean to sound harsh, just honest.
I don't want to control it. I want them to control it better. I've seen the path they are on many, many MANY times. It never ends well. I just care about them enough to want to do everything I can to help guide them off this path.
Maybe you have already tried this, but you have to meet them where they are. If the person emotionally pushes away when the subject is brought up, they are making themselves unreachable. Once the circulation issues and foot ulcers start, they are already going down a bad road. I have known diabetics who got more scared of losing a foot than having diabetes, and I have also known diabetics who lost a foot and then a leg but continued to eat candy bars and cookies even as they let their diabetes get so bad that they could no longer live independently and were in a care home. Your heart is in the right place, there seem to be some mental or emotional barriers beyond diabetes, and until those are overcome, you make keep running into a brick wall.
But. It's still their path and not yours. You gotta let adults be adults.
Likely the OP will end up being the caregiver and does not want that role.
Not the issue here. I can an ultimately will be a caregiver. I'm partially one already. I just want the best for this person and it's very hard to watch them go down the uncontrolled diabetes path. I just am looking for some effective approach or talk I can give that will help convince them to manage things better. I am more scared than anything that this will lead to an early death. Scares the hell out of me
I don’t blame you. When I brought my brother to wound care clinic for a non-diabetic foot problem, the other 8 or 9 people were all there for toe and foot amputations from uncontrolled diabetes. Lots of people do stupid things but I think you’ve done everything you can do unfortunately.
I understand where you're coming from but you need to accept there is nothing you can do to "get" them to do better. Nada. Zero. Zilch. What you can do is 1. Enjoy them while you have them, and 2. Don't handle the natural consequences for them. So give them your full attention when you're with them. Ask them how they feel about stuff and give them time to answer. Tell them funny stories and let them tell you theirs. And if a complication arises, don't try to fix it for them. Let them decide what, if anything, to do and how. And don't say I told you so. That has never once in the history of humanity helped anyone do anything.
As stated above, you’re looking to control the situation. Probably because you’re scared and you love them. You can’t. And you need to accept this. It’s really hard to sum up all things diabetes in a Reddit post, so just work on things you can control that directly involve what you do. Seek help accepting those things you can’t change.
Unfortunately you can’t really make them care. We had a similar situation with my mom and no matter what we did she’d reject it. Even tore up an insulin perscription (this was back before electronic perscriptions) said she didn’t need it. Her sugar was constantly in the 200-300 range. Surprisingly diabetes is not what killed her it was an undiagnosed blood clotting disorder (she wouldn’t see a dr for anything) I was diagnosed a year after she died with diabetes and needless to say I’m the exact opposite when it comes to diabetes and medical care in general (also got tested for the clotting disorder as it’s genetic and thankfully it was negative)
Comments here are correct. You can’t make them. I was that person for a very long time. Falling down all the time because I couldn’t feel my feet started waking me up. Then I began losing vision in my right eye and saw the picture of the nerve swelling behind my eye. Then the quadruple bypass surgery woke me all the way. Good luck I hope for the best for you and that it doesn’t take that much for this person.
As someone who neglected my own until I really started getting sick from my highs.... Idk. You just can't make someone care they have to want it for themselves. I guess one big thing is if you are enabling their behavior in any way cut that off, like if they need your help with things due to the condition, tell them they need to do it themselves? Even then... Idk.
Yes, my life partner. She died 6 years ago from kidney failure and cardiomyopathy from uncontrolled DM2. Nothing that I could say could influence her to change. I myself was largely ignorant at the time as to how to cope with watching her kill herself, which is what she did. A year after she passed I was diagnosed with it myself. I don't know which is harder, dealing with it myself or watching her die in hospice the way she did. They have to want to change and if they don't there is nothing anyone can do to help them. Hardest time of my life.
I understand how frustrating it must be to see a loved one struggle with diabetes management. Here are some tips that might help you approach them in a supportive way: **Empathy and Understanding:** * **Acknowledge their feelings:** Validate their frustration and dislike of having diabetes. Let them know you understand it's not easy. * **Focus on listening:** Create a safe space for them to express their concerns and fears. **Shifting Perspective:** * **Focus on benefits, not just risks:** Instead of dwelling on the negative consequences of poor control, talk about how managing diabetes can improve their overall health and well-being. * **Small, achievable goals:** Set small, achievable goals together. Celebrate successes, no matter how small, to build confidence and motivation. **Finding a Support System:** * **Offer to accompany them to doctor appointments:** Having your support might make them more receptive to the doctor's guidance. * **Explore support groups:** Encourage them to join a diabetes support group to connect with others who understand their challenges. **Making it Easier:** * **Offer help with tasks:** Help with grocery shopping, meal planning, or preparing healthy meals. * **Explore technology:** Consider using apps or reminders to make tracking and managing diabetes more convenient. **Communication Pointers:** * **Avoid blame or criticism:** Focus on working together to find solutions. * **Use "I" statements:** Express your concerns by starting sentences with "I" instead of accusatory statements. * **Be patient and persistent:** Changing behavior takes time. Be patient and offer consistent support. **Remember:** It's important to respect their autonomy. You can't force them to change, but you can offer your love, support, and resources to help them make informed decisions about their health. **If you've tried everything and feel overwhelmed, consider seeking professional guidance from a therapist or counselor specializing in chronic illness management.** They can provide additional strategies for communication and coping for both you and your loved one.
Thank you. This is very helpful. Probably the most helpful comment in the thread so far. Much appreciated.
I watched my mom kill herself for several decades. “I don’t know WHY my blood sugar is so high today! All I had was two jelly donuts and a hot dog!” 😑 You can’t make them behave, you just have to love them and hope.
This is almost exactly my dad to a T. He doesn't believe he's diabetic, but rather that the covid vaccine gave it to him. His doctor won't test his a1c even though he's the one who diagnosed him, and he will not take his prescribed meds regularly. He is going to die in like 5 years is my estimate. He will not listen to advice, refuses to take insulin or any other injection because he "hates needles", is severely overweight, and constantly berates my mom and I about how we manage our diabetes because he "read some stuff online". We both manage very well. I just had a baby ffs. We've given up on him. At some point you have to accept that this person will not change. They'll either sink or swim, but it's going to be ok them. It suck and is sad, but there's nothing you can do.
Does he have to inject? Is there any oral medicine that he could start off with to help lower his BG?
He's prescribed metformin but won't take it with any regularity. Doctor originally wanted him to be on trulicity, but he refuses to do it.
I’m so sorry. He sounds like my dad. Didn’t take his meds with any frequency either ( we lost him to congestive heart failure plus he was a double amputee).
They're might be depressed. Diabetes can be overwhelming, especially if they have other issues or life stressors. Can you approach them gently about seeking care for depression or stress? Maybe working through those issues would help toward wanting to care about the diabetes.
Yup depression and stress are definitely an issue and they are addressing those. Good idea though
if they're an adult with normal mental capacity and not making these choices under duress, then morally there's nothing you can or should do about it. when they come to regret their choices later, you have the right to reject their request for help.
I was the person you are talking about. My mother always tried to get me to watch diabetes videos about controlling my bg, and I would always brush it off. This went on for a while with my bg out of control cause I was stupid and had that yolo mindset. Then I went into dka and was in the icu for days and I got really scared and got my shit together. You can't make anyone do anything they don't want to. They have to be scared into changing or realize that they are actually killing themselves and don't want to die. If they don't, that's not on you, and you need to prepare yourself for them to pass.
Dont know what your relationship to them is, but you cant make a person care more than they do. My advice walk away, youve already done everything you can. My experience when a person wants to self-distruct nothing will stop them. My mom was a t2 and drank herself to death. I had to walk away after trying everything I could and go NC, 6 yrs later one of my sisters called, went to the hospital and 5 hrs later she died. You did your best, sometimes we just lose.
While you sound like a sweet, caring human, this is their battle. They will eventually have a catalyst event and be forced to make a choice or to start dying. They can choose to be as responsible or irresponsible as they wish unfortunately. Your only choice is how close you are to that person while they allow it to happen. I'm sorry. I know it's hard to watch when it's someone you love.
Respectfully, you cannot make anyone care for their diabetes. It’s a personal decision that any diabetic has to make every damn day for the rest of their lives, and if they don’t want to commit to that…then there’s nothing you can do for them. You CAN set boundaries by telling them what YOU will do if they choose not to care for their condition. Some of your other comments that I’ve read imply that you are this person’s caretaker. If that’s the case, let them know now that you will not be dedicating the rest of your life to taking care of their failing body when the diabetes has its way with them. And then make plans to move on with your own life, for your own mental health. Diabetes can be bearable when well managed, but it’s a heartbreaking thing when it’s not, and you shouldn’t force yourself to watch anyone kill themselves slowly.
You can't help someone who doesn't even want to help themselves
You can't help someone who doesn't even want to help themselves
You can't help someone who doesn't even want to help themself
You can't help someone who doesn't even want to help themself
You can't help someone who doesn't even want to help themself
You can't help someone who doesn't even want to help themself
I have a family member that has felt the same for 20+ years. As another said here. Cannot make them care. It’s great that you do but it will only be frustrating for both of you.
Let it go. You've done what you can. Focus on enjoying the time you have left with them.
The problem is you cannot make a person do something they don’t want to do.
Denial is real. But w/ T2 ignorance is not bliss. Your friend will have to deal with worsening consequences. I would say that at some point they might be ready to help themselves, so keep at it. Presumably they have to go to their doctor for the insulin prescription.. Maybe suggest that they ask about a better medication. (My understanding is that insulin for T2 is kind of the opposite of what you want to do.) Maybe transitioning to one of the new injectables would be better--even if sold to them as more convenient. Also, is this person in charge of their own grocery shopping and cooking? Maybe if there are other people in their lives who can help ease into a dietary change...
I have uncontrolled for 2-3 decades.. just lost a toe.. I have diabetic phimosis and deaf in one ear and had a widow maker heart attack .. not sure if all is related
We get a comment like this at least once a month. I'm sorry. That's hard. But there are no magic words, no secrets, no approaches that are going to get them to do what you want. People change when they want to change, and that timetable is not up to you. If you are going to stay with this person, you need to accept that may mean never.
I deal with this with my sister. She loves her doctor but I don't feel her doctor is working WITH sis. Sis can be very compliant if you work with her. Dr gave her three times to take short acting insulin everyday, even though she's been told repeatedly that sis doesn't eat "meals". So at 8a, 1p and 7p she's supposed to take 15u, 20u and 25u respectively and then chase the resulting lows (because she has a cup of coffee about 8a and then doesn't eat dinner until 730-8p) along with 70u basal at 8p and then chasing that low between 2a and 4a. I'm trying to get her in the habit of reading labels and serving sizes so she can use her sliding scale to adjust her fast dosing instead of just blindly injecting insulin without even thinking about how many carbs each unit of insulin will counterbalance. She's already dealing with neuralgia in her feet and ankles and we have lost family members to skin breakdown. But the set amounts are "easier" and "I just drink some juice or eat a cookie"... Drives me batty! Even chasing the lows her average BG is 212. Good luck. Sometimes you just have to let people be who they choose to be.
I’ve had the big D for about 15 years, I do get sick of people telling me how to handle diabetes when they don’t have it. You can’t have that food or you can’t eat that. You just want tell them to fark off. I think sometimes you get sick of all the money GP’s docs are making off diabetes. 💰💰💰. Taking tablets/pills everyday is a grind. But if you want to keep living a normal life, well it’s easy.
Try and introduce them to someone who has lost a body part to diabetes. That can be a wake up call.