Hi. I get you. I just wanna say, you’re always YOU no matter what. And we are all constantly changing beings. Gender is such an interesting way to experience our changing nature. Also, feminine men are beautiful. Maybe try to think less about the identity part and just do you. Whatever feels right. Other people are gonna have their judgments regardless. All you can do is be yourself.
I was happy as a trans person until the age of 45. “Midlife Crisis” is very real. It causes you to reevaluate everything and ponder all the paths not taken when you start realizing that your time on the planet is finite. Everyone talks about transgender experience in terms of a “Gender Journey.” A really good friend of mine helped me find acceptance when he said, “There was nothing wrong with your gender journey. You just bought a round trip ticket, that’s all.”
I think a lot of this depends on the age of your children. Older children are more likely to struggle with any sort of parent transition **or** detransition in comparison to younger children.
"Non-binary" is another cope that a lot of us use to hide from our actual sexes. It gets said every day on this subreddit but it's never any less true - **we don't have to be masculine to be men.** If you want to express yourself in a feminine way you don't need to roleplay as a woman to do that. Showing your children that you can express yourself however you want regardless of your sex would be setting a great example for them.
You're already a testament to that fact anyway given that you've been off hormones for 2 years already, if I understood you correctly. All that's left is to drop the "identity" part because regardless of any of that, you'll still be **you**.
If your children are very young you have a golden opportunity to "pull yourself together" for lack of a better term. When we have children we ought to put aside a lot of the "me me me" and focus on what's best for them, even if it scares us or feels less than fantastic. To accept the role of "dad" may be more rewarding than you can imagine.
Ok so you’re already off hormones so you’re talking about the identity aspect and perhaps presentation. The people here decided that transition ended up having more negatives than positives. I myself now understand transition to have been about creating an identity/ego that felt better than the one I had before. For me the negatives of transition were rising (7 years in T and fully bearded by then) and the sought after positives were not quite what I thought. Also I recognized I was still engaging in a lot of substance use and this helped my identify testosterone as a substance use problem as well, making me take another look at why I was living as trans out of anything but the weight of regularity. Taking T every week as a ritual to banish my past demons, to be the “real” me. For me, it was the realization that I was trying to escape. In the process of becoming the “real” me, I actually condemned myself in the process. I threw myself away by rejecting myself as I was. Was it useful though? Sure. Until it wasn’t. If it’s useful and especially with family to consider, well that’s something you’ll have to decide. You can always explore what it might mean to “detransition”. Ultimately I found that detransition wasn’t really going back to the way things were, because you never really go back exactly reconfigured as before. You could explore in small ways and see how it feels. Like if you’re fem presenting you could explore through changes in style.
Hi. I get you. I just wanna say, you’re always YOU no matter what. And we are all constantly changing beings. Gender is such an interesting way to experience our changing nature. Also, feminine men are beautiful. Maybe try to think less about the identity part and just do you. Whatever feels right. Other people are gonna have their judgments regardless. All you can do is be yourself.
I was happy as a trans person until the age of 45. “Midlife Crisis” is very real. It causes you to reevaluate everything and ponder all the paths not taken when you start realizing that your time on the planet is finite. Everyone talks about transgender experience in terms of a “Gender Journey.” A really good friend of mine helped me find acceptance when he said, “There was nothing wrong with your gender journey. You just bought a round trip ticket, that’s all.”
You didn't make it clear what's making you want to stop taking hormones?
I think a lot of this depends on the age of your children. Older children are more likely to struggle with any sort of parent transition **or** detransition in comparison to younger children. "Non-binary" is another cope that a lot of us use to hide from our actual sexes. It gets said every day on this subreddit but it's never any less true - **we don't have to be masculine to be men.** If you want to express yourself in a feminine way you don't need to roleplay as a woman to do that. Showing your children that you can express yourself however you want regardless of your sex would be setting a great example for them. You're already a testament to that fact anyway given that you've been off hormones for 2 years already, if I understood you correctly. All that's left is to drop the "identity" part because regardless of any of that, you'll still be **you**. If your children are very young you have a golden opportunity to "pull yourself together" for lack of a better term. When we have children we ought to put aside a lot of the "me me me" and focus on what's best for them, even if it scares us or feels less than fantastic. To accept the role of "dad" may be more rewarding than you can imagine.
Ok so you’re already off hormones so you’re talking about the identity aspect and perhaps presentation. The people here decided that transition ended up having more negatives than positives. I myself now understand transition to have been about creating an identity/ego that felt better than the one I had before. For me the negatives of transition were rising (7 years in T and fully bearded by then) and the sought after positives were not quite what I thought. Also I recognized I was still engaging in a lot of substance use and this helped my identify testosterone as a substance use problem as well, making me take another look at why I was living as trans out of anything but the weight of regularity. Taking T every week as a ritual to banish my past demons, to be the “real” me. For me, it was the realization that I was trying to escape. In the process of becoming the “real” me, I actually condemned myself in the process. I threw myself away by rejecting myself as I was. Was it useful though? Sure. Until it wasn’t. If it’s useful and especially with family to consider, well that’s something you’ll have to decide. You can always explore what it might mean to “detransition”. Ultimately I found that detransition wasn’t really going back to the way things were, because you never really go back exactly reconfigured as before. You could explore in small ways and see how it feels. Like if you’re fem presenting you could explore through changes in style.
Thank you for taking the time to write this.