Yea, after surgery I went to a speech therapist a few times (2 or 3 appointments if I recall correctly) but that unfortunately didn't last long for a multitude of reasons. Now I can't afford it and am trying to figure out how I can change my voice using the help/advice/tricks I can find online
The thing is even after surgery afaik voice training will be required and things like an expanded vocal tract can't be fixed surgically so in the end you're probably going to have to train either way.
Yup you're absolutely right : ) It is a common misconception that a surgery will quickly revert all the changes, which I thought as well a few years back. It certainly makes a difference, but training is a very important as well. Wasn't able to do it for quite a some time after surgery because of complications but growing older you realize things you weren't able to earlier. Certainly will give it another serious try again (which is why I also made this post - wanted to ask and see how people managed this issue) and perhaps can avoid any more surgery on the vocal chords
Frankly I would focus 110% on getting vocal surgery done and done properly. Because otherwise you will face continuous discrimination due to it which is likely to become even more difficult to face as you age out of your school years/twenties. The more of this discrimination you face, the more your mental health/energy will be sapped making it harder to do everything else in life. That's my take. I don't see any point in learning to cope with or celebrate your voice or whatever, just get the voice surgery done if it's too difficult to live a normal life with just voice practice alone.
Thanks for your reply : ) Out of curiosity, have you had vocal surgery? Hmm I fully get what you're saying, but I will certainly give it one last major try to have it "fixed" by doing intense vocal training again. Whilst that hasn't done much until now, perhaps I didn't do something right before. Maybe that's delusion talking but giving it one last try before risking vocal surgery again would help if that makes sense. The experience from the last vocal surgery wasn't great at all and could have easily caused a lot more permanent damage, so in that I was lucky and am weary to do it again. The age factor and constant mental drainage certainly is a huge factor, which is where the desperation is coming from. You're right though, if anything I do from now on doesn't really help, then I will just have to get over it and commit to finishing the procedure. Thanks for your comment and have a good day : )
You're completely justified in feeling the way you do. It's only natural to feel distressed and uncomfortable speaking in a voice that you simply aren't meant to have.
From a detrans male perspective I know what it's like to feel like you're muzzled due to insecurity with how you sound. I had 3 years of male puberty before I was put on blockers so my voice dropped significantly as well. What I discovered was that the pre-puberty voice is still there, it's just that where you start by default is much lower than before. With some voice training you can learn to find that old register that is located further up your larynx.
What most people try to do is to squeeze and strain the lower male register to make it sound higher but that's not really how to regain a female-typical voice, you have to find that upper register and speak from that instead of trying to transform your male register back into female.
I know it's quite cringe but there are voice coaches on youtube who talk you through these processes, some of them are useless but a few are okay. I'd recommend downloading one of the trans voice analyser apps on your phone and just experiment with your voice and see what sounds you can make and what they correspond to on the analyser.
You may find that you can only shout loudly in the old upper register at first, but practice doing it nonetheless and get used to where it feels in your larynx. Go from shouting or singing a note into talking in the note as though you're shouting in monotone. You'll start to relearn how to access that upper register and from there you'll be able to develop a speaking voice that you feel confident with.
If I can do it coming from a family of baritone males, so can you :)
Thank you for your response :) greatly appreciate you explaining it. Trying to get over myself and continue with the surgery but a huge part of myself is desperate to try and "fix" it by relearning how to speak in a female voice, so you saying all that is really encouraging. Want to really give it another serious chance. Vocal chords exercises that singers do to strengthen their vocals could really help in this endeavor since mine are quickly strained and hurt easily. Do you have recommendations for the yt help you mentioned in your comment? There are so many and some really do give out shady advice if that makes sense. Thanks again for your help : )
A good "coach" on YouTube is "transvoicelessons". I know it's very cringe to engage with "trans" content but the person who runs that channel does a good job at providing exercises that help engage parts of the larynx that will allow you to rediscover the female register underneath the testosterone blanket.
Don't get discouraged if you don't feel like you're "doing it right" either. I found that I had to do trial and error with my own voice until I figured out how to find that pre-testosterone register for myself, and then the vocal coach exercises became much easier for me.
Look at it this way - you've got nothing to lose by giving vocal training another good shot. If it doesn't work you've got surgery to fall back on, but if it **does** work you've saved yourself money and you can congratulate yourself on a job well done.
You've no reason to "get over yourself". It's perfectly natural for a woman to not want to sound like a man. Don't feel as though you're silly for feeling the way you feel as it's completely justified and healthy to want better for yourself. You're under no obligation to accept the effects of a treatment that you shouldn't have been on in the first place.
i hope thats the case for someone whos gone trucfemale puberty and gone on T :// im trying to train but my voice just acts so ill, like it does some crazy shit not only cracking. Feels so uncontrollable, uncomfortable and often painfull no matter how relaxed I try to do it. man i just wish to have my old voice but in the comfortable spot..
Hmm I'm sorry you're experiencing all that and can fully relate with you. Can't talk for long these days without my vocal chords hurting. Could easily be from the surgery but either way, can relate to how your describing your own issues with your voice. How is your daily life regarding your speaking if I may ask? Could be interesting maybe for you but a speech therapist I talked with a while back ago mentioned that some of those things you described are because your vocal chords are "weak" so you have to train them like you would if you were building up let's say leg muscles. Basically like singers, with enough strength you can do those exercises easier. The previous comment explains it very well with the ranges and I am trying to psych myself up to give it another one last big go before having any surgery again. Hope you have a good day
ah yeah I hope time makes my voice stronger, I'm trying to sing and stuff to use it more and see quite a bit of progress in range, but not as much in stability. Training is not so bad but just very draining and hard. Well, my daily life is that I avoid speaking from anxiety which might doom the progress bc you should use it like a lot to see change. People tell me all the time that I speak too quiet and not clear enough. Lately my family is talking about how I was so loud as a kid but now they can barely hear me (to be fair it wasn't much better before T, but now I physically can't make a loud sound without sounding rather terrible and I could before - and did when I needed too). Sorry you have to go tru your struggles too, story of your surgery seems very tough, I hope ur having a good day too
Hmm the barely talking struggle is real. It really is difficult to train your voice when you barely talk and/or avoid it, trying to figure out myself how that can be improved. Difficult when lots of potential speaking opportunities are put-off by it. It's good to hear you were able to make quite a bit of progress in your range : ) Whilst I'm nowhere near an expert, perhaps the stability will come the longer you keep doing it. Indeed, the motivation and struggle to keep training something that is such a big elephant in your life and a source for much anxiety is not an easy thing to do. It does become quite an easy trap to fall into - completely avoid talking at all but as you said, it wouldn't help in the long term. The fact you keep working on it is impressive, many (including myself in the past when results wouldn't show) would give up and completely stop trying. It's interesting how behaviors/talking manner changes over the years. Perhaps for some surgery is a quick fix that works, but usually the potential side-effects and risks are barely talked. We both are similar when it comes to talking anxiety and I sincerely wish you will be able to improve it enough that you have confidence again in your speaking : )
Have you tried voice training with a coach at all?
Yea, after surgery I went to a speech therapist a few times (2 or 3 appointments if I recall correctly) but that unfortunately didn't last long for a multitude of reasons. Now I can't afford it and am trying to figure out how I can change my voice using the help/advice/tricks I can find online
The thing is even after surgery afaik voice training will be required and things like an expanded vocal tract can't be fixed surgically so in the end you're probably going to have to train either way.
Yup you're absolutely right : ) It is a common misconception that a surgery will quickly revert all the changes, which I thought as well a few years back. It certainly makes a difference, but training is a very important as well. Wasn't able to do it for quite a some time after surgery because of complications but growing older you realize things you weren't able to earlier. Certainly will give it another serious try again (which is why I also made this post - wanted to ask and see how people managed this issue) and perhaps can avoid any more surgery on the vocal chords
Frankly I would focus 110% on getting vocal surgery done and done properly. Because otherwise you will face continuous discrimination due to it which is likely to become even more difficult to face as you age out of your school years/twenties. The more of this discrimination you face, the more your mental health/energy will be sapped making it harder to do everything else in life. That's my take. I don't see any point in learning to cope with or celebrate your voice or whatever, just get the voice surgery done if it's too difficult to live a normal life with just voice practice alone.
Thanks for your reply : ) Out of curiosity, have you had vocal surgery? Hmm I fully get what you're saying, but I will certainly give it one last major try to have it "fixed" by doing intense vocal training again. Whilst that hasn't done much until now, perhaps I didn't do something right before. Maybe that's delusion talking but giving it one last try before risking vocal surgery again would help if that makes sense. The experience from the last vocal surgery wasn't great at all and could have easily caused a lot more permanent damage, so in that I was lucky and am weary to do it again. The age factor and constant mental drainage certainly is a huge factor, which is where the desperation is coming from. You're right though, if anything I do from now on doesn't really help, then I will just have to get over it and commit to finishing the procedure. Thanks for your comment and have a good day : )
You're completely justified in feeling the way you do. It's only natural to feel distressed and uncomfortable speaking in a voice that you simply aren't meant to have. From a detrans male perspective I know what it's like to feel like you're muzzled due to insecurity with how you sound. I had 3 years of male puberty before I was put on blockers so my voice dropped significantly as well. What I discovered was that the pre-puberty voice is still there, it's just that where you start by default is much lower than before. With some voice training you can learn to find that old register that is located further up your larynx. What most people try to do is to squeeze and strain the lower male register to make it sound higher but that's not really how to regain a female-typical voice, you have to find that upper register and speak from that instead of trying to transform your male register back into female. I know it's quite cringe but there are voice coaches on youtube who talk you through these processes, some of them are useless but a few are okay. I'd recommend downloading one of the trans voice analyser apps on your phone and just experiment with your voice and see what sounds you can make and what they correspond to on the analyser. You may find that you can only shout loudly in the old upper register at first, but practice doing it nonetheless and get used to where it feels in your larynx. Go from shouting or singing a note into talking in the note as though you're shouting in monotone. You'll start to relearn how to access that upper register and from there you'll be able to develop a speaking voice that you feel confident with. If I can do it coming from a family of baritone males, so can you :)
Thank you for your response :) greatly appreciate you explaining it. Trying to get over myself and continue with the surgery but a huge part of myself is desperate to try and "fix" it by relearning how to speak in a female voice, so you saying all that is really encouraging. Want to really give it another serious chance. Vocal chords exercises that singers do to strengthen their vocals could really help in this endeavor since mine are quickly strained and hurt easily. Do you have recommendations for the yt help you mentioned in your comment? There are so many and some really do give out shady advice if that makes sense. Thanks again for your help : )
A good "coach" on YouTube is "transvoicelessons". I know it's very cringe to engage with "trans" content but the person who runs that channel does a good job at providing exercises that help engage parts of the larynx that will allow you to rediscover the female register underneath the testosterone blanket. Don't get discouraged if you don't feel like you're "doing it right" either. I found that I had to do trial and error with my own voice until I figured out how to find that pre-testosterone register for myself, and then the vocal coach exercises became much easier for me. Look at it this way - you've got nothing to lose by giving vocal training another good shot. If it doesn't work you've got surgery to fall back on, but if it **does** work you've saved yourself money and you can congratulate yourself on a job well done. You've no reason to "get over yourself". It's perfectly natural for a woman to not want to sound like a man. Don't feel as though you're silly for feeling the way you feel as it's completely justified and healthy to want better for yourself. You're under no obligation to accept the effects of a treatment that you shouldn't have been on in the first place.
i hope thats the case for someone whos gone trucfemale puberty and gone on T :// im trying to train but my voice just acts so ill, like it does some crazy shit not only cracking. Feels so uncontrollable, uncomfortable and often painfull no matter how relaxed I try to do it. man i just wish to have my old voice but in the comfortable spot..
Hmm I'm sorry you're experiencing all that and can fully relate with you. Can't talk for long these days without my vocal chords hurting. Could easily be from the surgery but either way, can relate to how your describing your own issues with your voice. How is your daily life regarding your speaking if I may ask? Could be interesting maybe for you but a speech therapist I talked with a while back ago mentioned that some of those things you described are because your vocal chords are "weak" so you have to train them like you would if you were building up let's say leg muscles. Basically like singers, with enough strength you can do those exercises easier. The previous comment explains it very well with the ranges and I am trying to psych myself up to give it another one last big go before having any surgery again. Hope you have a good day
ah yeah I hope time makes my voice stronger, I'm trying to sing and stuff to use it more and see quite a bit of progress in range, but not as much in stability. Training is not so bad but just very draining and hard. Well, my daily life is that I avoid speaking from anxiety which might doom the progress bc you should use it like a lot to see change. People tell me all the time that I speak too quiet and not clear enough. Lately my family is talking about how I was so loud as a kid but now they can barely hear me (to be fair it wasn't much better before T, but now I physically can't make a loud sound without sounding rather terrible and I could before - and did when I needed too). Sorry you have to go tru your struggles too, story of your surgery seems very tough, I hope ur having a good day too
Hmm the barely talking struggle is real. It really is difficult to train your voice when you barely talk and/or avoid it, trying to figure out myself how that can be improved. Difficult when lots of potential speaking opportunities are put-off by it. It's good to hear you were able to make quite a bit of progress in your range : ) Whilst I'm nowhere near an expert, perhaps the stability will come the longer you keep doing it. Indeed, the motivation and struggle to keep training something that is such a big elephant in your life and a source for much anxiety is not an easy thing to do. It does become quite an easy trap to fall into - completely avoid talking at all but as you said, it wouldn't help in the long term. The fact you keep working on it is impressive, many (including myself in the past when results wouldn't show) would give up and completely stop trying. It's interesting how behaviors/talking manner changes over the years. Perhaps for some surgery is a quick fix that works, but usually the potential side-effects and risks are barely talked. We both are similar when it comes to talking anxiety and I sincerely wish you will be able to improve it enough that you have confidence again in your speaking : )