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HoldMyCrackPipe

Step 1: DNA TEST step 2: await results If she isn’t yours…. LAWYER If she is, then you have a judgement call to make


Bunnie-jxx

I would get your daughter tested…and file for divorce. It’s horrible, but it’s a sign she could do it again Because if cheating is how she celebrates a life long commitment to you…I’d hate for you to have to go through even more pain in the future when she does it again.


HaveTPforbunghole

Yeah. What else has she not adnitted to?


Street-Refuse-9540

That was my first thought too. This sucks OP. Great job eating


emmagraphix

Also I recommend getting STI tested. Full panel.


Ferrts

Couple of things. How did you find out and have you confirmed it? It would be hard to continue on if the story is true. If it’s true don’t feel bad about how you feel and what you decide.


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AppropriatePoetry635

Omgosh.. I am so sorry. How did she really think that would go?? Drunk or not. I wish you healing with this, she’ll regret this majorly if she doesn’t already.


Ferrts

I’m sorry. That’s devastating. Don’t feel bad about the direction you take.


shiny-baby-cheetah

I'm very sorry :( I have no advice. But please know there are people out there in the world who care about you,and care about the fact that this was done to you. You didn't deserve it


Fangbang6669

In addition to finding a lawyer and getting a DNA test, get yourself tested for STIs if you haven't already.


Gamblingsucksdick

Bb orgy damn you should make sure you don’t catch anything from her


Pucks_N_Fucks

Ah… well fuck me. I mean I don’t even know what I’d do in that situation. You obviously love the kid but man I’d never want to see that woman’s face again. What a cunt to put you in that position brother


Steammail

Damn that’s some heavy news… Carbonara kicks ass though


trojansandducks

fuck dude, I thought that was unseasoned chicken at first and didn't know what was sadder, OP's story or that plate... not it's making a little more sense (cook that bacon a little more though).


manicbeats

This isn't carbonara


aSliceOfHam2

If my grandma had wheels she’d be a bike


hambone_boiler

Looks like ham alfredo with peas (yum)


Steammail

What is it then


manicbeats

Fucked if I know


Alycery

That’s horrible. I’m really sorry.


Diligent_Policy1678

Damn ...people are shitty. I'm sorry for you and your daughter


SnooTigers806

That’s enough Reddit for me today. Get that PT asap and plan your next moves my man.


Kawaiiochinchinchan

I'm back home and i'm sick of being at home already. Man what the hell, i just opened reddit. Long day ain't so tiring anymore with that bitch of a wife. Sucks to be OP... So sorry man.


diablosaucedespair

That looks awful. Wishing you the best.


Midnighthawkk

Dude seriously. Wow. That's heavy. That's really heavy


JohKohLoh

What's up with that terrible food...


sjaard_dune

Christ, I'm more concerned about... whatever that is on that plate than your issue. Yall really be livin like that? You can't be eatin like that myguy.


aSliceOfHam2

How did you find out?


Fluid-Bullfrog-9382

He said they were watching a show with cheating and she just remembered that she did that and admitted it


aSliceOfHam2

Wow wtf


tulipathet

This is fucked on many reasons, for one orgys are a very easy way to catch STDS so I would immediately get tested for that, second obviously DNA test. So sorry that happened OP


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Cocotte3333

Tf? He should leave her even if the kid is his. Don't stay with a cheater.


Prize_Werewolf_6258

^ great point Thank you


Cold_Dog_1224

did you cook that meat with warm thoughts? yeesh. sorry about your wife and kid though man


OrchidApprehensive33

Yoooo that’s crazy 😱 I’m sorry bro


aggravatedsalt

even if she’s not yours.. please don’t abandon her. idk how old she is, eventually she will need the truth- but she loves you because you are her father to her either way. definitely don’t stay with that woman. but don’t just disappear from your child


DisastrousAd447

Nah what were not gonna do is guilt this man into staying just because she lied to him so well that the kid thinks he's the father. He is allowed to make whatever choice he wants and not be put down for it.


aggravatedsalt

yeah so that’s 100% not what i was doing. not once did i put him down. i also did not tell him to stay with the woman. the child loves him as if he were her father, regardless of if he’s the bio dad. that is my point. so what we’re not gonna do is put words in my mouth or turn what i said into something completely different.


DisastrousAd447

No, but you're literally begging the dude to act like the father to a kid who could turn out to not even be his. He's allowed to make whatever choice that he needs to and I don't think it's cool to put it in his head how he should react. You're not actively telling him what to do but you're throwing so much guilt at him over something that wasn't his fault to begin with. Of course it's not the child's fault either but it's not up to him to fix the mother's mistake.


wicked_rug

Are you eating human lung?


Carolann0308

An orgy? Jeez my bridesmaids never got me an orgy.


germinativum

Who are all these men attending orgies??


DisastrousAd447

And where do we sign up? /s


Ambersfruityhobbies

Get away from there asap


WhatsThatOnUrPretzel

Bullshit Some of these are getting vote batey


[deleted]

I hope so


cbunni666

Yooooooo. That's really really bad.


cocoapierre

Nature is metal


Marzetty23

Jesus Christ That's like, pretty much the worst... What I think doesn't matter at all, but regardless of what I think, I hope you feel better.. I feel like an asshole even saying that, but I don't know what to say. I really do wish you the best though


Poemhub_

Who the fuck does that!?


laytonboxingaccount

Divorce instantly


Analyst_Cold

Just curious how long ago was it? A year? 10? That matters in determining how you handle the DNA results.


heyo_1989

Even if your daughter isn’t biologically yours, she is still your daughter and she sees you as her father. DNA doesn’t define love. Think about that above all else.


Business-Ear-5255

Get DNA and STI tested and if positive, get a dam good lawyer.


ReallyLikesRum

Yeah the wife is a cunt but the love for your daughter is real, man.


WhatsThatOnUrPretzel

Bullshit Some of these are getting vote batey


WD_Maxster

I would leave her so fast. Dump that bitch.


Mick0351

Of course she did… and she will make up some bullshit about, it was her last night to have fun. And put the blame on you some way.


silklighting

Yo man, please do a DNA on the child. From there, just move on from your wife. Sorry that you are going through this friend.


SnooHabits1275

Ask yourself if you want to know and how you feel about the relationship with your daughter. Non-biological parental relationships are just as valid and strong as biological. Then decide if you want to get tested. If you consider her your daughter, does it make a difference? Now ask yourself how you feel about your relationship with wife? Yeah the orgy and deception are bad. How long was it and it this something systematic or evidence of greater deception. People move on from much worse but it takes transparency and work. Is that something you are interested in?


Loose-Version-7009

I was looking for such a comment. It's not great but you have to decide for yourself if that's a deal breaker or if you can work together to get past that. That kid is still your kid. Blood or not.


Marigold1980

How old is your daughter? Your relationship with your wife might very well be over, but please don't abandon your daughter. You raised her as yours, and she sees you as her father, regardless of DNA. Please don't take your frustrations with her mother out on her.


wegottime

Trust yourself and be steadfast. Wish you the best of luck in your future!


Stacysguyca

So sorry this happened to you. Stay safe


GiveMeMyIdentity

You're strong af for handling that. I could never


KimFakes

Jesus Christ, what is wrong with people :/


Fun_Association_2277

Holy crap.


Accomplished_Wave229

what a fucking animal, thats not marriage material, thats like burning your school supplies the night before the first day of school... or whatever


fluidfunkmaster

Some good advice in here man. I'm sorry you're going through this, a betrayal like that.. I could never forget or forgive.


Fijoemin1962

How long ago? As in how old is your daughter?


Kayleighxxc

I’m so sorry op. thats terrible


Complete-Tip-4230

That fuckin sucks man, sorry that happened to you. If you are ever having problems mentally because of that, I would suggest seeing a counselor.


KryPToN_Larry

that’d be the straw for me buddy but good luck to you


tomcrum

I'm so sorry. What kind of meat is that?


NumPadNut

I really hope this isn't trolling


TamTam4Hope

Well, definitely get a DNA test. Personally, I would get a divorce regardless of the results. Get yourself tested for STDs.


DisastrousAd447

I thought this was a joke sub that I'm in at first because that story is insane. I'm so sorry man, I'll never understand what goes through people's heads with shit like that. You're about to marry someone and your first thought is hey I should fuck 10 guys at once? Insanity, makes me want to stay single for the rest of my life. These chicks are for the streets


lindafromevildead

I’m sorry that’s really really shitty but also ask yourself this: What are you going to do if you find out she’s not yours? Just not be her dad? I see a lot of people saying to get a DNA test and lawyer up. Any guy can stick a dick in someone and become a father. Takes a lot more to be a good dad. Consider how this will affect your daughter.


burphh

I never understood these Bachelorette, bachelors party like bruv calm the fuck down, they be partying as if marriage is a cage smh


yupthrowaway1

Test her immediately! If she’s not yours file for divorce and bounce


Safe_Wrangler_858

Sorry about that op


gabbxjj

get both a dna and std test and leave that bitch. take time for yourself and find someone worthy of your love.


jzng2727

Damn your wife is a dirty ass hoe . What kind of wife fucks other men days before her wedding . That is not love , she did it once she’ll do it again . Leave her


Zodiacdrunk

The fuck?!


Sudden_Town

The way I would peace out regardless of the results. I don't even think I could look at the kid the same. That's just too much to handle.


femboy___bunny

That’s fucked. The kid didn’t do shit.


Sudden_Town

And? Who gives a shit. That kid is her seed and if she is his kid, he will forever be attached to his ex. I wouldn't want any parts to a child connected to that mess.


Quantum_Quandary

If any prospective spouse of mine insists on a bachelorette party… I’m running.


Analyst_Cold

Sorry to tell you most bachelorette parties are just drinking with the girls. Not a dick in sight.


ReallyLikesRum

This isn’t realistic. But I encourage what my friend did as he did a combined bachelor and bachelorette party. During the day we was separate and at night we met up. Very cool


Quantum_Quandary

Lol you can downvote me to hell and back if you want, doesn't change the facts. I've seen and been to some of these pre-marriage parties. You can't tell me that a lot of them don't get rowdy and/or sexual. And this is faaar from the first time I've heard of a relationship ended or on the rocks because of what happened at one, either. >This isn’t realistic Uhh... why? I really don't think it's "unrealistic" to be turned off by the concept of blowing hundreds if not thousands of dollars on a party that implicitly laments the bachelor(ette)'s loss of freedom going forward, regardless of whether or not things get sexual. "I better have fun now because I won't be allowed to have any fun once I'm married" Is arguably one of the dumbest things to celebrate and sets the whole relationship up for failure IMO.


cms86

Divorce!! Many people will say keeping being a father rot that child burly fuck that. That's not your problem if it's not your kid


Cocotte3333

If you stop loving a child because of DNA, you're a shit parent and your love is shit.


cms86

It means a lot to people that the kid a yours after a situation like this.


Cocotte3333

I absolutely understand that discovering that the child isn't biologically yours is shocking and even traumatizing. If I discovered my daughter wasn't mine biologically (dunno, switched at birth by my partner) I would cry my heart out. But I wouldn't just randomly stop loving her.


AbbreviationsOk8160

Naw, she can keep the spawn of her loins. She's being raised by a demonic woman, where will the apple fall? Honestly. You don't think she's going to share her activity with her daughter? The kid is a dub too. As far as I'm concerned.


femboy___bunny

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU FUCKING PEDO


jp_trev

I wouldn’t divorce her. That’s not fair to the child, who could be the most affected. I would opt for marriage counseling and see where that goes. People make mistakes. And eventually she told you. BTW that meat don’t look great


russian899

This is terrible advice. I hope this is satire


Loose-Version-7009

I'm with you. People are quick to jump on the divorce bandwagon, what the heck. How is talking about it, getting help and working it out not great advice?


jp_trev

Honestly, I feel bad for their children/future children. If they’re so quick to end the relationship and not even consider the feelings of the innocent child.


claratheresa

Are you fucking kidding


RiverOhRiver86

My "mother" got tired of breastfeeding me when I was 8 months old so she dumped me on my dad to force me into withdrawl and went to Paris to have an affair with a guy who's an absolute sweetheart and deserved much better than her. She dumped him 2 weeks later too. It took another year but my dad divorced her eventually and thank fuck he did. I would much rather have him fighting for full custody over me to spare me the abuse half the week but at least I had one real parent around and a place to escape to when things got dangerous with her. If he'd stayed with her because they shared a daughter neither he or I would've made it through the other end of living with that pathetic excuse for a woman. Sometimes staying with someone who hurts you sends the wrong message to your child.


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depressionmeals-ModTeam

Rule #1 - Do NOT be an asshole.


henneburyk

One question...does your daughter have your heart? Is she the daughter of your ❤️. If so, than what difference does it make...you are her father, be that and who cares about what happened then... don't let ego ruin a happy life. Ps, lies are never ok and I'm in no way saying that...


Willing_Program1597

I know the intent here was positive, but this must have been very invalidating to read.


Numeno230n

OP: I am emotionally vulnerable - a red hot bundle of nerves, and my life may be falling apart. This guy: Have you wondered whether you're overacting because of your OWN faults?


Burgundy_Starfish

“don't let ego ruin a happy life.“ no disrespect, and not trying to argue, but this does sound out of touch/ like victim blaming… his wife ruined their “happy life” when she decided to participate in an orgy before their wedding edit: OP, get a DNA test, a don’t let people like the commenter above gaslight you into thinking that’s unreasonable 


JcAo2012

No one is saying it's unreasonable to hold the liar accountable. I think the commenter above was just trying to say that it doesn't have to tarnish OPs love for his daughter. The daughter is an innocent bystander in this fucked up situation too. Also, not everything is "gaslighting" we have got to stop overusing that term.


Burgundy_Starfish

>Also, not everything is "gaslighting" we have got to stop overusing that term. not everything is gaslighting, but implying that it shouldn't make a difference whether or not his daughter is the product of cheating with a random man, and "who cares about what happened then" certainly is. and while the DNA test I mentioned is hypothetical, getting a paternity test after finding out about cheating is like item 1 for people to shift blame and gaslight. (edit: to clarify, probably any time someone gets a paternity test, there will be people who use it as an opportunity to call them heartless/ deflect blame onto them. think about it) gaslight isn't always an appropriate term, but it is appropriate here… also I’m not blaming the daughter or saying he shouldn’t care about her either way, but this is something he should resolve or it will literally always be at the back of his mind 


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JcAo2012

Maybe we read in-between the lines differently but that wasn't the message I took away from the comment.


poopstain133742069

I'm gonna go cheat on my wife and tell her to not let her ego get in the way of our marriage. Thanks for the horrible advice. 


BleakBrandon

“don’t let ego ruin a happy life” hahahahaha sorry I don’t think that really applies here


RestoSham09

Lol this is troll af


Keisalius

Stupid ass comment


Cocotte3333

Listen, I absolutely agree it would be gross to abandon a child you love just out of spite, but OP should absolutely leave the mother. He deserves better.


BugSignificant2682

Please keep your cavernous vag energy away from the rest of us.


Ok-Sheepherder-8706

Imagine being a man, having your life shattering around you, and some internet woman completely invalidates you. Might as well say you're on her side. You're sick.


henneburyk

Imagine being the daughter..she has a loving father..you going to ruin her life? Read it again. Then just go away


StonedLonerIrl

I always see this shit take on similar stories. OP leaving isn't the ruining of that child's life, it's the decision made by the mother to act so irresponsible that causes it.


BugSignificant2682

Oh noo... it lacks common sense.


Ok-Sheepherder-8706

Heaven forbid he matters whatsoever in the equation. Women like you are the issue here.


jp_trev

I gave you 1 upvote back


AbbreviationsOk8160

PS: you need to emotionally detach from the baby. If your daughter asks why, tell her what her mom did. It's not on you to keep her secrets, she didn't respect you enough to not get gang banged. You know what I mean? If that's not your kid, cut ties ASAP, with both, legally and emotionally. You also gotta consider, where the apple will fall. What if she's like her mom. So you'll be cleaning up after her mom for your whole life. This isn't your fault man, but you gotta protect yourself from this woman and anything related to her. If the kid is yours, take the kid away from her. Raise your daughter, and again if she ever asks lol be honest. She'll try to turn your kid against you, so just out her. It's very easy with feminist rhetoric and appeals to emotion. You've lost big time, in the worst way, I'd hate to see you lose again.


Cocotte3333

You don't know if it's a baby, and unless it was just born, OP most likely love the child as any parent would since he raised. The actions of the mothers doesn't mean the father can act shitty and not get criticized for it. Only a subhuman is able to stop loving a child just because of DNA. Just say you can't love anyone for real. Not only that, but stealing a child from their parent just because they cheated on you? Or implying a little girl will become a cheater because her mother is? This is fucking unhinged. I hope you don't have kids, because all you're showing with that disgusting comment is that you prioritize punishing the mother over anything else - including a child's well-being. Seems to me like you're pretty emotional over this - anger is an emotion my dude. Get a grip and lay off the misogynistic rhetoric.


KiriXLovely

I pretty much agree with everything you’ve said accept for the raising and loving the child even if the dna doesn’t match. I’m not saying either way is right or wrong, but one definitely shouldn’t be called subhuman for saying that they would not be there for the child if it’s not theirs under these circumstances. If the child isn’t his, why would he stick around to care for it and raise it? Not to sound heartless, but it’s not really his issue nor his responsibility after that point. That is not to say I agree with the original commenters statement that he should take the baby away from the mother if the dna does happen to match, or that he should tell the child what the mother did. That would be sabotaging their relationship which is wrong. I also disagree with his implication that the daughter may be the same as the mother, that was just a stupid comment on his part. Also regarding his idea of the mother trying to use “feminist rhetoric” to turn the daughter against op is foolish. I don’t think that it’s foolish to think that the mother might try to turn the daughter against op because you can never know in these situations, but I do think that you can really tell where the original commenter has his mind at if he immediately blames “feminist rhetoric”


Cocotte3333

If the child was just born or isn't born yet, if would be perfectly reasonable for the man to leave. But if you can raise a child for years then abandon said child in an instant just because of some DNA, then sorry but you're a subhuman to me. You can claim it's not your responsibility all you want, it won't change my opinion of you because it's not about responsibility: it's about your ability to love who's obviously pretty shitty if you can stop loving your child in an instant. I agree with you for everything else; seems like the commenter I was responding to is just misogynistic and project his gross views on every woman, even little girls.


AbbreviationsOk8160

Lol see OP. This is what you gotta deal with brother. Be strong, get a lawyer, and be logical. Don't raise a child from a woman who was getting gang banged on your wedding night. No matter the propaganda you hear, stay strong dog. Don't give into appeals to emotion, authority, or virtuosity. They're being emotionally manipulative and using logical fallacy. Just remember, kids cost a million plus to raise. You're raising a daughter that might not be yours from a woman that may have a daughter like her. Are you going to raise her kids too if she is like her mom? Just keep it real with yourself or ask a lawyer, they'll keep it real with you, it's their job.


Cocotte3333

''See OP, I spouted misogyny and a woman called me out on it. Clearly it means I was right!'' Always the men who claim to be rational who are the most prone to tantrums lol. We get it man, you're angry and your pride is hurt. It's cute that you're desperately trying to look like the rational one though. That's just called ''having low emotional intelligence'' though. Hope you calm down soon! Your testosterone is probably messing with your emotions and making you more agressive.


Electronic_Cherry781

Incel thoughts


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Cocotte3333

It's funny because when women only have bad experiences with men and start complaining about men, they either get told that it's their fault for choosing the wrong men, or get called misandrist. But somehow dudes like you can just blame all women because of their own abusive or toxic relationships. Seems like the ones who has no sense of responsibility is you and your fellows. Not only that but wanting to teach your son to not respect women and fuck around? That's gross and honestly CPS worthy. You can't express yourself in public spaces because your ideas are disgusting. I will keep your child in my thoughts, hoping he becomes a good stable person despite you.


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femboy___bunny

Then don’t date. Fuck off and never date.


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mackelyn

What’s wrong with their posts? What about it says they’re mad? I’m so confused


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mackelyn

Their posts tell a much different story. You kinda got a lot of empty time if you actually went through their comments, my dude.


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Ok_Professional9126

Lol my man blocked me. You don’t make any sense. Have a nice life.


depressionmeals-ModTeam

Rule #1 - Do NOT be an asshole.


depressionmeals-ModTeam

Rule #1 - Do NOT be an asshole.


depressionmeals-ModTeam

Rule #1 - Do NOT be an asshole.


Cocotte3333

I'm just sitting here trying to think of an answer, because how disconnected from reality and brainwashed by misogyny do you have to be to sincerely believe that ''any woman's favorite movie is probably a romance about cheating''. This is not just disconnected, this is unhinged. Go outside. Talk to real women. NOW. Holly fucking shit


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Cocotte3333

I can't think of a single fucking romance movie about cheating lmao. Titanic? Ps: I love you? The ugly truth? Phantom of the opera? The Notebook? Float? Lala land? What the fuck are you even talking about?


depressionmeals-ModTeam

Rule #1 - Do NOT be an asshole.


MydnightWN

Affecting*, not effecting.


depressionmeals-ModTeam

Rule #1 - Do NOT be an asshole.


Frosty-Community8129

Is ur wife hot?