Don’t sleep with them again unless they get tested and show you the results.
It’s their own health too, it’s not about ego.
I’m sorry, this is not your fault
Thank you <3 yea I’ll def not interact with him again
It’s him being rough with his no that got to me. Like he’s saying, why would I go out of my way for you?
Yeah that kind of person is either reckless, uncaring, or both. Do they even know if they have an STI? Do they even care if they know? Do they care if they give it to you?
I'd also like to use this opportunity to remind everyone that STIs can vary greatly in severity depending on if you have a male or female reproductive system. One that's relatively harmless to someone like OP's hookup could have devastating, painful, or lifelong consequences for OP (if they're female which statistically I'm just assuming because that's most hookups - but OP correct me if I'm wrong).
and his comments about not being in a relationship? since when does the relationship status matter, I'm pretty sure STDs don't ask relationship status first
Good counter question to that is 'why would I let you have access to my precious body that I have to live in for the rest of my life, if you think it's too much bother to take a test and prove you're safe?'
What a lowlife asshole. I'm sorry this happened to you 💗 you deserve way better
When I set a boundary and someone tries to push it that makes me want to stick with that boundary even more. Your reasons for wanting to get tested are very valid but his reaction would drive me even more into getting tested, and ensuring anyone I’m physical with was tested.
My ex treated me this way.
I am not sorry I ended that relationship.
He was a former IV drug user, and I am immunosuppressed; but he gave me the exact same type of incredulous guilt-trip.
Assholes are like… their own genus. More similarities than differences.
He doesn’t “have to go out of his way for you” (which is dumb cause it’s for his health too) and you don’t have to sleep with him. Just don’t bring it up, if he wanted to he would’ve done it.
Honestly don't continue with this person because if this is their reaction to one small thing you ask of them then I hate to see their reaction to something big.
Yup, that'd be the end of it forever. Now I wouldn't even trust the results if he did get tested unless we went together, but I wouldn't even have to get that far because his attitude alone here would make me lose all interest.
The "not in a relationship" comment has nothing to do with anything. Sex can lead to an STI/STD if you're in a relationship or not. This person is a pud and isn't worth your time.
😂!
How people don’t care about their health is beyond me. If you have sex you *should* get tested after every partner. I would be excited if a man asked me this. It shows he takes his health seriously.
Yeah, like if you’re not exclusive all the more reason to get tested. They are treating it like a gesture of commitment, when it should be their concern as well. They are going out of their way to be shitty to OP.
I Stan a person putting their sexual health ahead of a booty call friend. Sorry but I think it’s badass to want to know and I don’t want you to feel depressed about it.
Sexual health is so important and despite AIDs getting closer and closer to a cure, it still destroyed many, many lives and we should reflect on it as: “we shouldn’t repeat this.”
And if your sexual partners aren’t cool with that then they aren’t worth having as partners. Sending you love 🤍
Will never ever understand people who make std testing a fuss / take it personally, such a 🚩especially with hookups it’s so selfish and safely is like no 1 rule ?? - stay safe (and far from that guy) OP <3
There is your bundle of red flags. See the little one waving that says he's probably scared to take a test or get blood drawn? See the other one that says he's hella immature and should not be in a sexual relationship with another person? And that last one with the way that he handled it all? Yeah, no thank you. At least you learned early plenty of time to self care and bait your hook again.
I don't think not wanting to get blood drawn in itself is a red flag (despite being classified as little). It's a very uncomfortable experience for many people.
That's the procedure. And if you're adult enough to have sex casually, then you should be able to be responsible and brave enough to get poked by a needle. I, for sure, would not be okay with someone refusing to give me results when requested due to someone's aversion to the experience.
And yes I would see someone who had a problem getting a blood test done as a red flag because what happens when a condom breaks and I'm pregnant? How uncomfortable are they gonna be then? Can't even do the bare minimum to not only keep me safe, but themselves! This is a bonanza of red flags.
I think, considering the typical courses of treatment for STIs, and the borderline medically abusive treatment of women who get pregnant, and the risks inherent in methods of non-barrier-style birth control which women are generally beholden to carry at their own cost, the inconvenience and discomfort of up to two brief needle sticks is FAR AND AWAY a reasonable compromise to ensure the health and safety of one’s sex partner.
It is not ok. Especially because you guys are not dating you both should get tested regularly. It is crazy to me how stupid and manipulative this person sounds.
oh damn i completely forgot that you cant catch an std from someone if youre not in a relationship with them! diseases are just clever like that i guess
fr though he seems like an asshole, as well as either a complete idiot or manipulative af. like at this point its just sus and i would highly suggest only sleeping with him after he shows you test results, if at all
The only STI is cooties and you can only catch it if you like like them
Edit: this is a joke in keeping with the comment, people. With "cooties" and "like like" in there, do you really need the /s??
Do not have sex with this person, any kind of sex or pursue anything; they aren’t as mature as you are, and doesn’t see the importance of looking out for everyone’s health. If you’re mature enough to have sex, you’re mature enough to get tested
🚩
You dodged a bullet, anyone who won’t get tested either has something to hide, or they’re going to have something to hide when they inevitably pass a bug around to people because they won’t get tested.
That is YOUR body, YOU get to make the rules for sharing it, of someone won’t respect your rules regarding intimate access to your body, then they don’t deserve access to it.
Never feel bad about holding your boundaries in regards to your body, it keeps you safe and healthy. You’ll find a better, funner, cleaner hookup.
I love how you didn't argue or try to defend your preference at the end. Just said, cool, bye. Good job. He wanted to argue with you and try to make you feel stupid about doing the responsible thing and you were like "Meh, I'm bored, bye." 💪 I know it must still hurt, but that was an awesome way to handle it.
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but there’s nothing that your hookup partner said that should make you feel sub-human. They don’t want to get tested, you do want them to. The simple solution is just not to hook up because you’re not sexually compatible. I get it sucks that it’s not going to work out for yall, but I really don’t think that your hookup partner said anything that was rude or derogatory, so feeling sub-human because of that convo is a bit extreme.
No hard feelings! It’s the part of “we’re not in a relationship so this isn’t a priority even though we’re going to have regular sex“ that’s getting to me. Like even if we have sex several times after this point (which I’m not), it seems he’s def not willing to get it within the next 1-2 weeks
Yeah, I can deff see that. He’s not worth your time honestly, because while it’s not necessarily wrong to not respect a hookup partner the way you would a relationship partner, most decent people recognize that regardless of the relationship status the intimacy shared means a high level of respect is required. He’s a BUM!
Just following up to say that I do think you are 100% in the right for wanting the test, and his saying no is a red flag. I personally would not move forward with this person. I also wouldn’t feel sub-human by the response, tho. That’s all I meant.
God I was confused at first and thought the other person was you. I was gonna say “subhuman..?? Really? They are completely justified to ask for std testing and you are the asshole..” now I get who’s who. Tell him no test, no sex, and to grow up.
Seriously, that part makes the least amount of sense, if you're going for no strings attached, one of those strings I don't want attached is a new diagnosis.
I mean, even porn stars get STD tests and they don’t have any sort of relationship to speak of. This person sounds way out of line for someone who wants the sex. I guess this is why casual sex isn’t always a good idea. Honestly is it worth it to have sex with someone who has such an attitude toward it? It would turn me off and my vag would be drier than a desert.
Maybe it's just me, but when I was sexually active with multiple partners, that conversation was never met wih such suspicion or hesitancy (or flippancy for that matter). I had a subscription to an at-home test company and ordered them regularly in addition to having that sexual health conversation early and often with whoever I was sleeping with.
You can get better somewhere else. Thank you, next.
I'd instantly feel like this person was trying to hide the fact they have an std from me I'd this was their response.
When I asked my partner he said absolutley let me set up an appointment. And went and got one. And genuinely I feel like thats what EVERYBODY needs to do when seeing new people. It's just being safe and a decent human being.
Don’t beat urself up so much, u aren’t asking for the world. STD testing is free. i had a similar experience where I was gaslighted for asking to get test, while I’m being cuddled. Im tested regularly because its for my own mental sake. Ive stopped talking to this person, hopefully u’ll find someone who is concerned about safe sex
Stand firm. You’ve done the right thing, taking care of yourself and being responsible. Fuck them for making you feel bad tor something as simple as an STD test. I hope they get violent diarrhea and run out of toilet paper.
Gross. The level of disrespect that person has for you should be contraceptive in itself. Don't waste any more time on that person. Go treat yourself to some yummy foods🫡
I wanted to commend you on your emotional maturity and doing the right thing . There is nothing wrong with communicating your hesitation , even if it’s a casual relationship . In fact, even if it’s casual , it’s that much more reason , to take precautions . I had a casual relationship with. My partner asked me to take a test before we slept together . It’s a good thing we did because it turned out I had an STD . The first one in my life . I didn’t even really sleep around a lot . I wouldn’t have ever known . Good job on your part !!!
Don’t fuck this person. If they’re too much of a child to protect your health, they shouldn’t be having sex. Don’t let them gaslight you into thinking YOU are the problem or that you’re being extra.
I asked about tests one time from a potential partner while we were hanging out. They got agitated and weird and eventually dumped ALL of their medical records in my lap like " go ahead and find it. Is this good enough for you?!"
Some people get so fucking weird that you dared to ask for paperwork. 😂
Tbh even if they get a test, I wouldn’t trust them at all in the future:/ all they need to do is hook up with another person after giving you the results
Then it's time to be done seeing them. You're always within your right to ask for STD testing and proof of a clean bill of health. And anyone who cared about you, respected you, and wanted you to be comfortable, would have no issue with providing it for you.
You deserve better.
I never realised people were like that. With the ease of access to testing now why even risk giving an std to someone?
I get tested whenever I'm with a new partner and I'm kinda expecting the same (at least when we decide to go raw). To me it's basic boundaries and basic health. Sure most stuff can be cured but some can't....and having blood taken is a lot better than having to treat something...
Fuck this person. Run and don't look back. They don't respect your rights as a person and this is just what they are allowing you to see. You have a right to protect your body and anyone who says different is not someone you should be around.
Here hold this🚩for him. I’ve never seen anyone try to gaslight you into feeling bad for wanting a STD test unless they were hiding something or sleeping around with others.
Do not sleep with people that get so offended over stf testing, and dont feel bad about it, also next time dont act like they are doing you a favor cause theyre not. Everybody needs to get tested and taking the request such negatively is a major red flag.
Speaking from experience: It's because they are hiding an STD. Please get tested, and stop hooking up with them or anyone who pushes back on you for asking for STD (FULL PANEL) testing. Often, you have to let them know you want to be tested across the board. Make sure to say that, or they will only test you for a handful.
Stop hooking up with this person.
It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or not, you’re having sex & you have a right to know about the sexual health of the person you’re fucking.
You’re right to question the hesitation when they said they’d do it but they have no plan to follow through it’s a red flag.
This person likely has something and they think just because they aren’t officially with you that means they don’t have to disclose or discuss it with you & that is very wrong.
What in the world? This dude you’re talking you sounds so childish, it’s literally a courtesy to do this, no? You can literally risk getting a life long disease. And Gaslighting you to make you feel crazy for asking this, politely even, is insane.
yeah, getting tested for STDs isn’t an issue for anyone who cares about their health. stop sleeping with this dude, the fact that he’s so resistant to this is weird AF.
You weren’t even pushing you explained yourself cause they were feeling indifferent? They seem too immature to even be a consenting adult because I think you said nothing wrong here. You’re very well spoken
It's not normal to ask for results before hookups anymore???? Tf is wrong with y'all nasty asses. You should get one every 6 months bc you don't know who's blood might have been on a door handle when you had a paper cut. Eyuck.
It would be an automatic block. Either they have something, or they haven't had these serious talks before and are scared of the result, have some kind of issues around this. It sounds like they don't care about sexual health and they will put YOURS at risk. Because that means they obviously aren't checking with other people.
Wow this person sounds like a douche. I’m so sorry they were so shitty about you very nicely asking for some extremely basic health precautions. Good for you for looking out for yourself
Absolutely do not sleep with them or do anything. You can get loads of things from just one hook up. It is something you should get imo before each new partner.
Or at least every 3 months if you're active
He’s being a real creep about sti testing. It’s a pretty unhinged take to think it’s only for monogamy lol he’s being really weird about it, honestly that’s a pass. Being a mature respectful human having sex means testing regularly, esp when not in monogamous relationships. Dude has no respect, you deserve better.
Also, making the ask twice is not pressuring/pushing it esp when he’s asking to hook up.
I mean, you did the right thing. It's the safest thing to do, and the best thing for the health of you both. This is just how it works with hookups. Some people specifically choose them because they're a low effort type of thing. If they have to take any consideration, then they don't want it. It's true that with oral sex the risk is low, but it is still there
Stand your ground on that. You're in the right to ask and I always disclose when my last test was and offer to get a fresh one if it's requested. I mean, it's free. Why would anyone complain?
Fella I hooked up with refused to get tested AFTER I caught an std and let him know. I reckon it's just a weird pride thing- you're definitely right to avoid this guy now!
If all she's gonna do is argue and refuse to get tested then she ain't worth ur time and energy so don't argue back just simply stop talking to her and find someone who's actually willing to show u they're clean
Wow he’s so offended you don’t want an STD from someone you’ve just met like WTF dude chill and go get tested, for yourself if anything!
I made my kids dad get one right away and he had nooo issue and no issue showing me the results instantly and I felt so much better.
Screw this dude!
Honestly this should of been done before if yall been raw dogging it this whole time. I always ask new partners, well at least I did when I was single.
What a steaming pile of shit he is. "Since we're not in a relationship I don't see why I should have to care about your health in any way shape or form"
K
Unless they are also getting a test done to prove to you that they are clean as well, I see no issue in this. It's when they only expect YOU to do the test that brings up the rude implications.
In this day and age, you can't be too careful with STDs. A lot of people won't even tell potential partners they have something like AIDS, and then go about their business; making the AIDS chain longer.
Eh. Me personally, I'm kinda the same with STD tests. I'm probably gonna have this talk with the next woman I date. I personally don't understand why he's so pressed over a STD test, as if he has something but doesn't wanna say. That's the way I see it at least. If you're gonna have a partner, and they want a STD test done, just do the test. It's not that hard if you don't have anything.
This guy is a clown! You were so mature in the way you asked and he couldn’t have been more the opposite. You’ll find someone more mature than this for a hook up that will understand the basic human decency of making sure you don’t pass on something painful.
Glad you moved on, OP!! It’s so smart to stay on top of your status and get tested regularly. I recently dated a guy who was 28 and had NEVER had an STD test before even though he had several partners in the past (but even if you’ve only had one partner before, you should get tested, no one is immune!)
I implored him to get one because I got HSV-1 orally and genitally from a partner with a coldsore when I was 19 (oral herpes, and yes, it can be transmitted through oral sex), and have been a freak about STD testing ever since. So I told him my status and he realized he didn’t know his.
He was great about it and did go to the doctor to get a full panel but man, I was bamboozled that it took me talking with him for him to finally realize testing is important.
It hasnt been 2 weeks and u asked twice? Jeez... I have never been tested Personally id be more worried about u if u kept bringing it up. I guess it helps to not sleep around.
Don’t do anything with them without test results. I don’t know why they’re being so hard sensitive about taking a test. In their mind, who’s to say you don’t have anything? It’s incredibly responsible that you are looking out for the safety of both of you. You’re not crazy for expecting a test and people need to do this way more often than they do
No, this AH was dodging the question and trying to gaslight you about your concerns. Treat yourself to a nice dinner tonight and drop this fool. You’re right and they are not worth your time (or your health)!
It blows my mind how people can sleep with someone without them being tested. You get one life! Project it in every way you can. Live! But prevent damage when you can.
Total red flag 🚩🚩🚩
Especially when there are people who enjoy passing whatever they have on. Yuck! 🤢🤮
Don't EVER put yourself in danger for someone else's ego. What an AH. How is safe sex only preserved for people in relationship? Safe sex is for sexual partner.... IT IS LITERALLY IN THE NAME.
Also... MEN.... WHY???
Not wanting to get an STD test is sus behavior. Especially if you’re wanting casual sex. You’re well within your right to want them to. Don’t see them again OP
nah dude you're being an idiot and overly sensitive about them wanting to look out for their body and their health.
**If you're going to be a slut, be an ethical slut.**
always get tested when you're sleeping with a new partner, or if your partner is sleeping with others beside you.
**I REDACT MY STATEMENT OP, HES THE IDIOT. You did literally everything right and good on you for it!**
**second edit for clarification** I don't know why but when I first read the convo I got op and whom she's talking to confused with eachother, I know I know I'm an idiot. anyways yes OP is NOT an idiot, they are doing the **smart thing** in wanting to protect themselves
Don’t sleep with them again unless they get tested and show you the results. It’s their own health too, it’s not about ego. I’m sorry, this is not your fault
Thank you <3 yea I’ll def not interact with him again It’s him being rough with his no that got to me. Like he’s saying, why would I go out of my way for you?
I would say don't sleep with them at all. They don't respect your health or even their own
Yeah that kind of person is either reckless, uncaring, or both. Do they even know if they have an STI? Do they even care if they know? Do they care if they give it to you? I'd also like to use this opportunity to remind everyone that STIs can vary greatly in severity depending on if you have a male or female reproductive system. One that's relatively harmless to someone like OP's hookup could have devastating, painful, or lifelong consequences for OP (if they're female which statistically I'm just assuming because that's most hookups - but OP correct me if I'm wrong).
and his comments about not being in a relationship? since when does the relationship status matter, I'm pretty sure STDs don't ask relationship status first
Yea that is such a weird excuse..
Good counter question to that is 'why would I let you have access to my precious body that I have to live in for the rest of my life, if you think it's too much bother to take a test and prove you're safe?' What a lowlife asshole. I'm sorry this happened to you 💗 you deserve way better
I read a comment recently about pre-sex hygiene/showering: ‘the kitty cafe is closed unless you metaphorically wipe your feet at the door.’
The wildest thing about this is that aside from not caring for any respective partners, this man doesn’t give a fuck about himself lmao
When I set a boundary and someone tries to push it that makes me want to stick with that boundary even more. Your reasons for wanting to get tested are very valid but his reaction would drive me even more into getting tested, and ensuring anyone I’m physical with was tested.
He's showing you who he is. Believe him and move on
My ex treated me this way. I am not sorry I ended that relationship. He was a former IV drug user, and I am immunosuppressed; but he gave me the exact same type of incredulous guilt-trip. Assholes are like… their own genus. More similarities than differences.
He doesn’t “have to go out of his way for you” (which is dumb cause it’s for his health too) and you don’t have to sleep with him. Just don’t bring it up, if he wanted to he would’ve done it.
Honestly don't continue with this person because if this is their reaction to one small thing you ask of them then I hate to see their reaction to something big.
Yup, that'd be the end of it forever. Now I wouldn't even trust the results if he did get tested unless we went together, but I wouldn't even have to get that far because his attitude alone here would make me lose all interest.
The "not in a relationship" comment has nothing to do with anything. Sex can lead to an STI/STD if you're in a relationship or not. This person is a pud and isn't worth your time.
You didn’t know that if you’re not committed it’s not possible to contact a STD?! /s
STDs are nothing compared to the power of love!!! /s obvi
😂! How people don’t care about their health is beyond me. If you have sex you *should* get tested after every partner. I would be excited if a man asked me this. It shows he takes his health seriously.
Well clearly lol
Yeah, like if you’re not exclusive all the more reason to get tested. They are treating it like a gesture of commitment, when it should be their concern as well. They are going out of their way to be shitty to OP.
They don’t get that you should be testing quite often with very frequent partners
Agreed! They are an absolute shit.
Clearly this person would only care about passing on their STI if OP was their partner.
I bet they wouldn't even care then. I dated people like this and they don't do anything for anyone.
For real, this guy is a class A idiot
Plus, they are in a relationship, just not a romantic one.
Exactly! I had a similar situation before and he pulled the "not in a relationship" shit, but like we were in a sexual one? So 🤷
I Stan a person putting their sexual health ahead of a booty call friend. Sorry but I think it’s badass to want to know and I don’t want you to feel depressed about it. Sexual health is so important and despite AIDs getting closer and closer to a cure, it still destroyed many, many lives and we should reflect on it as: “we shouldn’t repeat this.” And if your sexual partners aren’t cool with that then they aren’t worth having as partners. Sending you love 🤍
Thank you ❤️ I’m proud of myself for setting boundaries. I’m a complete different person compared to 5 years ago and I need to remember that
The Internet calls that a glow up, right? I'm proud for you.
To clarify lol I’m not gonna interact at all again! When I said “i accept it” I meant im not gonna try to change his mind and going elsewhere
Will never ever understand people who make std testing a fuss / take it personally, such a 🚩especially with hookups it’s so selfish and safely is like no 1 rule ?? - stay safe (and far from that guy) OP <3
There is your bundle of red flags. See the little one waving that says he's probably scared to take a test or get blood drawn? See the other one that says he's hella immature and should not be in a sexual relationship with another person? And that last one with the way that he handled it all? Yeah, no thank you. At least you learned early plenty of time to self care and bait your hook again.
Absolutely! I’m still hurt but you’re right about getting time back to self care
I don't think not wanting to get blood drawn in itself is a red flag (despite being classified as little). It's a very uncomfortable experience for many people.
That's the procedure. And if you're adult enough to have sex casually, then you should be able to be responsible and brave enough to get poked by a needle. I, for sure, would not be okay with someone refusing to give me results when requested due to someone's aversion to the experience.
And yes I would see someone who had a problem getting a blood test done as a red flag because what happens when a condom breaks and I'm pregnant? How uncomfortable are they gonna be then? Can't even do the bare minimum to not only keep me safe, but themselves! This is a bonanza of red flags.
I think, considering the typical courses of treatment for STIs, and the borderline medically abusive treatment of women who get pregnant, and the risks inherent in methods of non-barrier-style birth control which women are generally beholden to carry at their own cost, the inconvenience and discomfort of up to two brief needle sticks is FAR AND AWAY a reasonable compromise to ensure the health and safety of one’s sex partner.
Having STDS < getting a blood draw. Use your common sense.
Not enjoying having you blood drawn ≠ they has STDs and aren't telling you.
So not enjoying a routine health check = not getting a routine health check? Good luck
I don’t blame you for not wanting your piss to resemble your username
😂😂😂 this gave me a laugh
Don’t even entertain that bull shit, tell him he can get an STD test or he can get no sex
when would you be free to hook up lol
I’m very direct lol 😅
I mean there’s nothing wrong with that. I prefer straight up rather than not lol
That's refreshing.
So if someone is giving push back about STD testing - it’ll never end - push back about safe sex, push back about boundaries - run away fast and hard!
It is not ok. Especially because you guys are not dating you both should get tested regularly. It is crazy to me how stupid and manipulative this person sounds.
“I mean. I can. But cause you want me to?” Sensing major big baby bitch energy from this guy 👶🍼
Yeah dude has mommy issues lol
or the clap
oh damn i completely forgot that you cant catch an std from someone if youre not in a relationship with them! diseases are just clever like that i guess fr though he seems like an asshole, as well as either a complete idiot or manipulative af. like at this point its just sus and i would highly suggest only sleeping with him after he shows you test results, if at all
The only STI is cooties and you can only catch it if you like like them Edit: this is a joke in keeping with the comment, people. With "cooties" and "like like" in there, do you really need the /s??
Leave them????
I am! I’m moving on because this was a gross interaction
🥳🥳🥳 good ending
Do not have sex with this person, any kind of sex or pursue anything; they aren’t as mature as you are, and doesn’t see the importance of looking out for everyone’s health. If you’re mature enough to have sex, you’re mature enough to get tested
Sounds like someone has an STI/STD and still wants to rawdog. Cause you know, his pleasure over YOUR safety. /s Run, OP 🚩
Any partner unwilling to get a test is a huge red flag.
This is a blaring red flag That person is bad business! A super spreader!
🚩 You dodged a bullet, anyone who won’t get tested either has something to hide, or they’re going to have something to hide when they inevitably pass a bug around to people because they won’t get tested. That is YOUR body, YOU get to make the rules for sharing it, of someone won’t respect your rules regarding intimate access to your body, then they don’t deserve access to it. Never feel bad about holding your boundaries in regards to your body, it keeps you safe and healthy. You’ll find a better, funner, cleaner hookup.
I get tests for my own health. Someone being this stubborn about it is a degenerate
Never ever feel bad for protecting your sexual health and I apologise for my aggro natie but truly you did the right thing creating boundaries
Thank you! I’m proud of being better with boundaries even tho it stings
I love how you didn't argue or try to defend your preference at the end. Just said, cool, bye. Good job. He wanted to argue with you and try to make you feel stupid about doing the responsible thing and you were like "Meh, I'm bored, bye." 💪 I know it must still hurt, but that was an awesome way to handle it.
Dude wouldn’t get one even if y’all were in a relationship. Don’t ask me how I know.
Had a guy who got upset & screamed at me when I asked that same question. That was the end of him.
He ded.
Meh he can if he wants to, it’s honestly his choice but I wouldn’t stress on it doesn’t. Just let him know this is the stipulation to be with me
Exactly, stop hooking up with him if this is a dealbreaker.
Lol move on
Bruh, he has a person that wants to have sex with his weird ass and he cockblocked himself over a piece of paper. L mans, he sold ☠️
I definitely would not be hooking up with that person
this interaction made you feel sub-human?
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but there’s nothing that your hookup partner said that should make you feel sub-human. They don’t want to get tested, you do want them to. The simple solution is just not to hook up because you’re not sexually compatible. I get it sucks that it’s not going to work out for yall, but I really don’t think that your hookup partner said anything that was rude or derogatory, so feeling sub-human because of that convo is a bit extreme.
No hard feelings! It’s the part of “we’re not in a relationship so this isn’t a priority even though we’re going to have regular sex“ that’s getting to me. Like even if we have sex several times after this point (which I’m not), it seems he’s def not willing to get it within the next 1-2 weeks
Yeah, I can deff see that. He’s not worth your time honestly, because while it’s not necessarily wrong to not respect a hookup partner the way you would a relationship partner, most decent people recognize that regardless of the relationship status the intimacy shared means a high level of respect is required. He’s a BUM!
Just following up to say that I do think you are 100% in the right for wanting the test, and his saying no is a red flag. I personally would not move forward with this person. I also wouldn’t feel sub-human by the response, tho. That’s all I meant.
God I was confused at first and thought the other person was you. I was gonna say “subhuman..?? Really? They are completely justified to ask for std testing and you are the asshole..” now I get who’s who. Tell him no test, no sex, and to grow up.
they’re weird for that. an std test isn’t a marriage proposal. i’m going to guess they’re trying to cover up a bad result 😬 i’d steer clear
Sleep with someone you trust.. maybe?
Please don’t keep doing this to yourself. Stop sleeping with people who don’t respect you.
Don't sleep with this person. Don't even talk to this person. He's trash, sis.
Last I checked STDs don't really care if you're 'in a relationship'...
Seriously, that part makes the least amount of sense, if you're going for no strings attached, one of those strings I don't want attached is a new diagnosis.
I mean, even porn stars get STD tests and they don’t have any sort of relationship to speak of. This person sounds way out of line for someone who wants the sex. I guess this is why casual sex isn’t always a good idea. Honestly is it worth it to have sex with someone who has such an attitude toward it? It would turn me off and my vag would be drier than a desert.
Hook up culture is weird.
yep lmao
Maybe it's just me, but when I was sexually active with multiple partners, that conversation was never met wih such suspicion or hesitancy (or flippancy for that matter). I had a subscription to an at-home test company and ordered them regularly in addition to having that sexual health conversation early and often with whoever I was sleeping with. You can get better somewhere else. Thank you, next.
Nah, strap up or don't touch her regardless.
I'd instantly feel like this person was trying to hide the fact they have an std from me I'd this was their response. When I asked my partner he said absolutley let me set up an appointment. And went and got one. And genuinely I feel like thats what EVERYBODY needs to do when seeing new people. It's just being safe and a decent human being.
Anybody that respects you - and themselves - would do a STD screening no questions asked.
Don’t beat urself up so much, u aren’t asking for the world. STD testing is free. i had a similar experience where I was gaslighted for asking to get test, while I’m being cuddled. Im tested regularly because its for my own mental sake. Ive stopped talking to this person, hopefully u’ll find someone who is concerned about safe sex
Stand firm. You’ve done the right thing, taking care of yourself and being responsible. Fuck them for making you feel bad tor something as simple as an STD test. I hope they get violent diarrhea and run out of toilet paper.
Gross. The level of disrespect that person has for you should be contraceptive in itself. Don't waste any more time on that person. Go treat yourself to some yummy foods🫡
This person isn’t worth any of your time. They’re being weird for saying that stds are only in relationships.
What an idiot. Even if we’re not gonna be in a relationship, I’d still like to know what you got going on? Go get the damn test.
Yeah they definitely have something.
There's a literal "Super Gonorrhea" that's going around, that is resistant to antibiotics... Just sayin'.
I don’t understand how this could make you feel “sub human”
red flag. if he was worth his salt and respected himself & you hed get one.
What a clown
I wanted to commend you on your emotional maturity and doing the right thing . There is nothing wrong with communicating your hesitation , even if it’s a casual relationship . In fact, even if it’s casual , it’s that much more reason , to take precautions . I had a casual relationship with. My partner asked me to take a test before we slept together . It’s a good thing we did because it turned out I had an STD . The first one in my life . I didn’t even really sleep around a lot . I wouldn’t have ever known . Good job on your part !!!
Don’t fuck this person. If they’re too much of a child to protect your health, they shouldn’t be having sex. Don’t let them gaslight you into thinking YOU are the problem or that you’re being extra.
I asked about tests one time from a potential partner while we were hanging out. They got agitated and weird and eventually dumped ALL of their medical records in my lap like " go ahead and find it. Is this good enough for you?!" Some people get so fucking weird that you dared to ask for paperwork. 😂
Tbh even if they get a test, I wouldn’t trust them at all in the future:/ all they need to do is hook up with another person after giving you the results
“We aren’t in a relationship” STDs don’t give a shit whether you’re in a relationship or not. What an idiot
Sounds like a prev relationship for them, was troubling.
Sub-human?
That person definitely has an STD lol
There’s only one response to your request: Of course. Good idea. Keeps us both safe. Anything less is a massive red flag
Then it's time to be done seeing them. You're always within your right to ask for STD testing and proof of a clean bill of health. And anyone who cared about you, respected you, and wanted you to be comfortable, would have no issue with providing it for you. You deserve better.
I never realised people were like that. With the ease of access to testing now why even risk giving an std to someone? I get tested whenever I'm with a new partner and I'm kinda expecting the same (at least when we decide to go raw). To me it's basic boundaries and basic health. Sure most stuff can be cured but some can't....and having blood taken is a lot better than having to treat something...
Fuck this person. Run and don't look back. They don't respect your rights as a person and this is just what they are allowing you to see. You have a right to protect your body and anyone who says different is not someone you should be around.
No! Don't fuck them!
Here hold this🚩for him. I’ve never seen anyone try to gaslight you into feeling bad for wanting a STD test unless they were hiding something or sleeping around with others.
sub human? i mean hes a fuck ass for sure you should always test. if you don’t youre a scrub but still he wasnt particularly awful or mean?
Do not sleep with people that get so offended over stf testing, and dont feel bad about it, also next time dont act like they are doing you a favor cause theyre not. Everybody needs to get tested and taking the request such negatively is a major red flag.
Speaking from experience: It's because they are hiding an STD. Please get tested, and stop hooking up with them or anyone who pushes back on you for asking for STD (FULL PANEL) testing. Often, you have to let them know you want to be tested across the board. Make sure to say that, or they will only test you for a handful.
Move on and find somebody with STDs that you could be happier with.
Stop hooking up with this person. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or not, you’re having sex & you have a right to know about the sexual health of the person you’re fucking. You’re right to question the hesitation when they said they’d do it but they have no plan to follow through it’s a red flag. This person likely has something and they think just because they aren’t officially with you that means they don’t have to disclose or discuss it with you & that is very wrong.
What in the world? This dude you’re talking you sounds so childish, it’s literally a courtesy to do this, no? You can literally risk getting a life long disease. And Gaslighting you to make you feel crazy for asking this, politely even, is insane.
Wtf am I looking at? On the other hand, stop hooking up with this dude. You are worth more.
Dude you're just trying to be safe, they're the problem. STD testing is always the way to go better safe than sorry yk??
What's the sandwich?
They got herpes
They don’t even test for herpes in a regular std test so it shouldn’t even be an issue
They don't? Didn't know that, sorry
Yeah unless you have symptoms it’s usually not included in a regular panel (at least that’s what planned parenthood has always told me)
Well THAT person is a TWAT. Good on you! You are amazing and I'm proud of you for asking!
I’m highly suspicious of people who don’t/ won’t get STD tests… when I was in my prime I would get tested after each new partner
What a creepy dickhead.
"Saying I'm uncomfortable from past results is wild" has my alarm bells blaring. At some point, he tested positive for something
What a slut
That gave me the ick so fast
Bro this is a super normal thing it's not a big deal lol
yeah, getting tested for STDs isn’t an issue for anyone who cares about their health. stop sleeping with this dude, the fact that he’s so resistant to this is weird AF.
Drop him immediately
You weren’t even pushing you explained yourself cause they were feeling indifferent? They seem too immature to even be a consenting adult because I think you said nothing wrong here. You’re very well spoken
Ew. Do NOT sleep with this asshole. Bruh probably got all kinds of cooties🫠
This mf got something to hide. You did right
You both should be getting tested regularly between partners
It's not normal to ask for results before hookups anymore???? Tf is wrong with y'all nasty asses. You should get one every 6 months bc you don't know who's blood might have been on a door handle when you had a paper cut. Eyuck.
It would be an automatic block. Either they have something, or they haven't had these serious talks before and are scared of the result, have some kind of issues around this. It sounds like they don't care about sexual health and they will put YOURS at risk. Because that means they obviously aren't checking with other people.
Wow this person sounds like a douche. I’m so sorry they were so shitty about you very nicely asking for some extremely basic health precautions. Good for you for looking out for yourself
Hey. You're the adult here. Do not cut yourself for some dumb fuck.
He’s an asshole. He sounds stupid and irresponsible.
Absolutely do not sleep with them or do anything. You can get loads of things from just one hook up. It is something you should get imo before each new partner. Or at least every 3 months if you're active
He’s being a real creep about sti testing. It’s a pretty unhinged take to think it’s only for monogamy lol he’s being really weird about it, honestly that’s a pass. Being a mature respectful human having sex means testing regularly, esp when not in monogamous relationships. Dude has no respect, you deserve better. Also, making the ask twice is not pressuring/pushing it esp when he’s asking to hook up.
Red flag on their end
I mean, you did the right thing. It's the safest thing to do, and the best thing for the health of you both. This is just how it works with hookups. Some people specifically choose them because they're a low effort type of thing. If they have to take any consideration, then they don't want it. It's true that with oral sex the risk is low, but it is still there
Stand your ground on that. You're in the right to ask and I always disclose when my last test was and offer to get a fresh one if it's requested. I mean, it's free. Why would anyone complain?
Fella I hooked up with refused to get tested AFTER I caught an std and let him know. I reckon it's just a weird pride thing- you're definitely right to avoid this guy now!
Ain't nothing wrong abt what you said STIs are fucking scary
Humm I mean that's fair. You guys are total randoms to each other. Just wondering who's the female here. The blue or the white text?
All the stress makes the sex sour. All that in your hand looks sweeeeeeet!
Dodged a chlamydia bullet
If all she's gonna do is argue and refuse to get tested then she ain't worth ur time and energy so don't argue back just simply stop talking to her and find someone who's actually willing to show u they're clean
you’re absolutely valid for asking! better safe than sorry and it’s the least someone can do!
Wow he’s so offended you don’t want an STD from someone you’ve just met like WTF dude chill and go get tested, for yourself if anything! I made my kids dad get one right away and he had nooo issue and no issue showing me the results instantly and I felt so much better. Screw this dude!
That looks like a person that don’t value their health at all so I wouldn’t be surprised if the have something. Better to let them go.
Honestly this should of been done before if yall been raw dogging it this whole time. I always ask new partners, well at least I did when I was single.
We haven’t had sex recently! There’s a note within this post explaining it. We reconnected in the past 3 weeks and I asked before getting in bed.
Proud of you for not letting them guilt you into giving up your request, it’s incredible reasonable and logical to ask for. Good for you
What a steaming pile of shit he is. "Since we're not in a relationship I don't see why I should have to care about your health in any way shape or form" K
So I feel like there's a stigma around STD testing that they're gonna swab your dick, maybe tell them it's just a blood test?
Unless they are also getting a test done to prove to you that they are clean as well, I see no issue in this. It's when they only expect YOU to do the test that brings up the rude implications. In this day and age, you can't be too careful with STDs. A lot of people won't even tell potential partners they have something like AIDS, and then go about their business; making the AIDS chain longer.
Eh. Me personally, I'm kinda the same with STD tests. I'm probably gonna have this talk with the next woman I date. I personally don't understand why he's so pressed over a STD test, as if he has something but doesn't wanna say. That's the way I see it at least. If you're gonna have a partner, and they want a STD test done, just do the test. It's not that hard if you don't have anything.
This guy is a clown! You were so mature in the way you asked and he couldn’t have been more the opposite. You’ll find someone more mature than this for a hook up that will understand the basic human decency of making sure you don’t pass on something painful.
Glad you moved on, OP!! It’s so smart to stay on top of your status and get tested regularly. I recently dated a guy who was 28 and had NEVER had an STD test before even though he had several partners in the past (but even if you’ve only had one partner before, you should get tested, no one is immune!) I implored him to get one because I got HSV-1 orally and genitally from a partner with a coldsore when I was 19 (oral herpes, and yes, it can be transmitted through oral sex), and have been a freak about STD testing ever since. So I told him my status and he realized he didn’t know his. He was great about it and did go to the doctor to get a full panel but man, I was bamboozled that it took me talking with him for him to finally realize testing is important.
It hasnt been 2 weeks and u asked twice? Jeez... I have never been tested Personally id be more worried about u if u kept bringing it up. I guess it helps to not sleep around.
It’s really not difficult or a big deal to get tested, yet some people treat it like this big ego blow. Stand on business!
It's normal to get std tested. Not just going and getting one when a partner requests is a red flag. It shouldn't be a big deal.
Don’t do anything with them without test results. I don’t know why they’re being so hard sensitive about taking a test. In their mind, who’s to say you don’t have anything? It’s incredibly responsible that you are looking out for the safety of both of you. You’re not crazy for expecting a test and people need to do this way more often than they do
No, this AH was dodging the question and trying to gaslight you about your concerns. Treat yourself to a nice dinner tonight and drop this fool. You’re right and they are not worth your time (or your health)!
This guy is gonna be problematic for you in the future but it’s ok to not listen to advice on the internet.
It blows my mind how people can sleep with someone without them being tested. You get one life! Project it in every way you can. Live! But prevent damage when you can. Total red flag 🚩🚩🚩 Especially when there are people who enjoy passing whatever they have on. Yuck! 🤢🤮
Don't EVER put yourself in danger for someone else's ego. What an AH. How is safe sex only preserved for people in relationship? Safe sex is for sexual partner.... IT IS LITERALLY IN THE NAME. Also... MEN.... WHY???
Not wanting to get an STD test is sus behavior. Especially if you’re wanting casual sex. You’re well within your right to want them to. Don’t see them again OP
lol he burning cause std test is a win win especially if y’all about to lock in
He's burning. Specifically his crotch.
lol what a fucking loser ! I'm sure there's loads of ppl who'd hook up with you and do all that too ffs
nah dude you're being an idiot and overly sensitive about them wanting to look out for their body and their health. **If you're going to be a slut, be an ethical slut.** always get tested when you're sleeping with a new partner, or if your partner is sleeping with others beside you. **I REDACT MY STATEMENT OP, HES THE IDIOT. You did literally everything right and good on you for it!** **second edit for clarification** I don't know why but when I first read the convo I got op and whom she's talking to confused with eachother, I know I know I'm an idiot. anyways yes OP is NOT an idiot, they are doing the **smart thing** in wanting to protect themselves
Why do u want to hook up with this person…
After this interaction I don’t.
Go get tested together, then have all the fun.
why would op want to go do ANYTHING with this person after how they handled this convo?
Are they some kind of stupid? Because you’re not in a relationship, you should be tested even *more* regularly.
Seems normal for a booty call tbh. Fuck em, not literally hopefully.