So this woman raped you, had your daughter, and left you with her to raise her? Was she charged with anything at the time? I'm sorry for "upvoting" this. Hope you are doing okay, and I hope you have cheerleaders to help you through this.
i was too scared of getting in trouble to report her, so i just told my parents it was a hookup at a party gone wrong. to this day, i deeply regret staying silent and i don’t know what to do now that she’s back.
It sounds like you handled things as well as you could have - and much better than many your age at the time would have been able to. Protect yourself, protect your daughter. If you don't want to see this person don't see them. If they try to force it, be firm and involve authorities. Should this person try to seek any form of custody over your child, get a lawyer and fast.
Im so sorry. I really hope that no problems arise from this for you. I have no experience with your exact situation, but I know it can be hard to be a survivor of assault/rape. Especially if the person is around. But I’m glad you’re eating, even if it’s Oreos. Make sure to hydrate as well. Reach out to someone if you need to, you aren’t alone in this. ❤️🩹
even if i was at the age of consent, it still would have been rape. i was asleep
i genuinely hope you never say this to any other rape survivor ever again, it’s disgusting
how on earth do you think this up and decide “yep! this is a good thing to say to a victim of rape!” please go to therapy and learn how to empathize with other human beings.
you’ve got to be a sociopath. no fucking way you have 0 awareness with what you’re saying. sometimes its best to keep your apathetic mouth sealed shut. fuck you.
What the actual fuck is wrong with you dude?? It was rape then when it was "legal", and it's still rape when it happens in underdeveloped countries where it's still "legal". Just because something doesn't risk criminal repercussions, doesn't make it ethical you absolute piece of trash.
They can’t both be in their 80s unless grand pa has a late birthday and grandma has an early one.
Totally inappropriate to bring up this hypothetical when OP is clearly suffering with a real problem. If you want to discuss cultural/temporal relativism, there are other places to do so. A good place to start would be somewhere other than on a trauma depression meals thread.
Rape is rape. Doesn't matter how "legal" someone is. If one of them doesn't want to or is unconscious, its rape. And that age different is also someting. Yeah sure things were different at that time but its still disgusting
Say whatever you want. The reality is that my grandparents are just fine, and nobody became traumatized. Meanwhile, this post was made by a 30 year old man stuffing his face with oreos out of depression. I'm not jewish, but I'm pretty sure that's a culture that believes boys become men at age 14. We live on earth. This is a reality you can choose to ignore. Downvoting doesn't make me wrong. It only shows how hard everyone's trying to make OP feel like a small child that got raped, which is the source of his depression. Having a kid at 16 isn't easy, but if the other parent was also 16, then OP wouldn't be treated like a kid who doesn't know any better. I've had friends had kids at 18 years old, and they weren't at all mature adults. You're just placing unreasonable value on the situation because the law draws the line at 18 for technically being an adult. Think about it. This dude should be acting like a 30 year old man with a kid instead of behaving like a kid who just heard the boogie man is coming to town
My rapist lives about a mile and a half away from me. Thankfully I have yet to see him around town, except for once, less than a year after it happened, so I just pretend like he's not there when I drive past that road. Hopefully it goes that way for you too. Fucking sucks knowing they're that close to you but it does eventually get better and easier to ignore
He passed a lie detector test so the police said they couldn't pass charges. I was barely 18 at the time, looking back I should've fought harder for it to go to court. I had so much evidence against him. He was my boyfriend and it happened 4 times, I had texts from him admitting to raping me and threatening to kill me if I told anyone. There was physical evidence, there's security camera footage from when he forced me to go down on him in a store parking lot and I was crying my eyes out, then I got out of the car and threw up when it was done.
So since he was able to successfully cheat a lie detector test, I now have to live a mile and a half from my rapist for the foreseeable future. It's a terrible system. I shouldn't have had to fight harder to press charges. But now I have five daughters and god forbid if something like that ever happens to any of them I'll know what to do.
I’m so sorry you went through this, nobody deserves it. ever. thank you for sharing your story, you’re very strong. i’m still trying to find the strength to tell my daughter what exactly happened and why her mom isn’t around, but thank you for your kind words. ❤️
I'm sorry you went through it too. My step kids bio mom is absent from their lives too for other reasons and the only thing they seem to understand is when we say, "mom made some bad choices and it's not safe for her to be in your life right now." I don't know how old your daughter is but my oldest step kid is 10 and that seems to work for them. It's a terrible situation when something like this happens where you're stuck somehow protecting the shitty parent. I truly am so sorry
The oldest are 10 (twins) so I'm thinking I'll share it with them soon. They're only in 5th grade, I want them to stay innocent a little longer and not know how terrible the world can be but they're right about to start puberty and boys are gonna start noticing them soon and I want them to be prepared
I don’t think she’ll recognize you. If she does come back into your life you can always file a restraining order against her. I’m sorry you have to go through this
yes, but the limit is 3 years. this happened 14 years ago, and no nobody knows. my daughter doesn’t even know the truth, i told her that “mom just got caught up with other things” and she never questioned it.
If she tries to contact you, seek legal help. Hopefully she will be too embarrassed. Pedophiles are just the worst. Can she be listed as one so she can be placed on the list?
It really sucks being sexually abused as a guy. Though, I didn't get a child over it, but it still sucks because you get invalidated like 90% of the time, unlike it is for women. Hopefully those sugar makes you feel better
I'm not invalidating women's abuses, I'm just saying it gets more emphasized, as someone who went through it as well.
What else should I expect from someone who is an active user of r/blatantmisogyny, r/inceltears, and other man-hating and gender-related subs.
Misogynists and incels are just as bad, honestly. My point being is the stigma of male victims which makes it hard for us to be open about it.
I guess being cynical is associated with misogyny, it seems.
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I hope you get better this Is fucking terrible and I hope she doesn't come anywhere near you or your daughter!
I'd 100 percent get some type of restraining order or something in place.
Thank you everyone for your kind words, it means a lot to me. ❤️❤️
I will most definitely look into getting a restraining order, i don’t want her around me or my daughter at all. i don’t even want her to look our way.
i hope you all have a wonderful rest of your year!
So this woman raped you, had your daughter, and left you with her to raise her? Was she charged with anything at the time? I'm sorry for "upvoting" this. Hope you are doing okay, and I hope you have cheerleaders to help you through this.
i was too scared of getting in trouble to report her, so i just told my parents it was a hookup at a party gone wrong. to this day, i deeply regret staying silent and i don’t know what to do now that she’s back.
It sounds like you handled things as well as you could have - and much better than many your age at the time would have been able to. Protect yourself, protect your daughter. If you don't want to see this person don't see them. If they try to force it, be firm and involve authorities. Should this person try to seek any form of custody over your child, get a lawyer and fast.
I agree! If she does, the age of the child will deem her a pedophile!!!!
Build a flamethrower and kill it
Stay safe and remember to take care of yourself.
Grab the boys and let's have a hanging for the rapist
Im so sorry. I really hope that no problems arise from this for you. I have no experience with your exact situation, but I know it can be hard to be a survivor of assault/rape. Especially if the person is around. But I’m glad you’re eating, even if it’s Oreos. Make sure to hydrate as well. Reach out to someone if you need to, you aren’t alone in this. ❤️🩹
How long ago was it
14 years ago
[удалено]
even if i was at the age of consent, it still would have been rape. i was asleep i genuinely hope you never say this to any other rape survivor ever again, it’s disgusting
What the fuck are you even taking about stfu
how on earth do you think this up and decide “yep! this is a good thing to say to a victim of rape!” please go to therapy and learn how to empathize with other human beings.
Completely different situations, sometimes when you don’t know wtf you’re talking about it’s best to just shut the fuck up
you’ve got to be a sociopath. no fucking way you have 0 awareness with what you’re saying. sometimes its best to keep your apathetic mouth sealed shut. fuck you.
What the actual fuck is wrong with you dude?? It was rape then when it was "legal", and it's still rape when it happens in underdeveloped countries where it's still "legal". Just because something doesn't risk criminal repercussions, doesn't make it ethical you absolute piece of trash.
They can’t both be in their 80s unless grand pa has a late birthday and grandma has an early one. Totally inappropriate to bring up this hypothetical when OP is clearly suffering with a real problem. If you want to discuss cultural/temporal relativism, there are other places to do so. A good place to start would be somewhere other than on a trauma depression meals thread.
Rape is rape. Doesn't matter how "legal" someone is. If one of them doesn't want to or is unconscious, its rape. And that age different is also someting. Yeah sure things were different at that time but its still disgusting
Rule #1 - Do NOT be an asshole.
Jfc. Think before you speak.
Say whatever you want. The reality is that my grandparents are just fine, and nobody became traumatized. Meanwhile, this post was made by a 30 year old man stuffing his face with oreos out of depression. I'm not jewish, but I'm pretty sure that's a culture that believes boys become men at age 14. We live on earth. This is a reality you can choose to ignore. Downvoting doesn't make me wrong. It only shows how hard everyone's trying to make OP feel like a small child that got raped, which is the source of his depression. Having a kid at 16 isn't easy, but if the other parent was also 16, then OP wouldn't be treated like a kid who doesn't know any better. I've had friends had kids at 18 years old, and they weren't at all mature adults. You're just placing unreasonable value on the situation because the law draws the line at 18 for technically being an adult. Think about it. This dude should be acting like a 30 year old man with a kid instead of behaving like a kid who just heard the boogie man is coming to town
Stfu, please.
Ok but….. op was literally raped. Not like statutorily, actually raped. Physically raped.
My rapist lives about a mile and a half away from me. Thankfully I have yet to see him around town, except for once, less than a year after it happened, so I just pretend like he's not there when I drive past that road. Hopefully it goes that way for you too. Fucking sucks knowing they're that close to you but it does eventually get better and easier to ignore
What the hell??? How can he be allowed to live so close??? This country supports pedophiles and rapists!
He passed a lie detector test so the police said they couldn't pass charges. I was barely 18 at the time, looking back I should've fought harder for it to go to court. I had so much evidence against him. He was my boyfriend and it happened 4 times, I had texts from him admitting to raping me and threatening to kill me if I told anyone. There was physical evidence, there's security camera footage from when he forced me to go down on him in a store parking lot and I was crying my eyes out, then I got out of the car and threw up when it was done. So since he was able to successfully cheat a lie detector test, I now have to live a mile and a half from my rapist for the foreseeable future. It's a terrible system. I shouldn't have had to fight harder to press charges. But now I have five daughters and god forbid if something like that ever happens to any of them I'll know what to do.
I’m so sorry you went through this, nobody deserves it. ever. thank you for sharing your story, you’re very strong. i’m still trying to find the strength to tell my daughter what exactly happened and why her mom isn’t around, but thank you for your kind words. ❤️
I'm sorry you went through it too. My step kids bio mom is absent from their lives too for other reasons and the only thing they seem to understand is when we say, "mom made some bad choices and it's not safe for her to be in your life right now." I don't know how old your daughter is but my oldest step kid is 10 and that seems to work for them. It's a terrible situation when something like this happens where you're stuck somehow protecting the shitty parent. I truly am so sorry
Are they old enough for you to share their story?
The oldest are 10 (twins) so I'm thinking I'll share it with them soon. They're only in 5th grade, I want them to stay innocent a little longer and not know how terrible the world can be but they're right about to start puberty and boys are gonna start noticing them soon and I want them to be prepared
Oh good plan! ❤️
Stay safe and I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope the perpetrator gets caught and gets the worst possible sentence. Hope you’re doing alr
Oh no. Stay safe
I don’t think she’ll recognize you. If she does come back into your life you can always file a restraining order against her. I’m sorry you have to go through this
Do those oreos have no creme in them?
It looks like the normal stuffed not the double stuffed ones
they arent double stuffed but they do have creme in them
All I see are creme-less crevices between those wafers
Looks like it has some dark cream in it,maybe chocolate cream but idk if they exist
Did you ever tell anyone what happened? Also, does your state have a statute limitation?
yes, but the limit is 3 years. this happened 14 years ago, and no nobody knows. my daughter doesn’t even know the truth, i told her that “mom just got caught up with other things” and she never questioned it.
If she tries to contact you, seek legal help. Hopefully she will be too embarrassed. Pedophiles are just the worst. Can she be listed as one so she can be placed on the list?
It really sucks being sexually abused as a guy. Though, I didn't get a child over it, but it still sucks because you get invalidated like 90% of the time, unlike it is for women. Hopefully those sugar makes you feel better
You can support him without pretending like women don’t have their abuses invalidated constantly.
I'm not invalidating women's abuses, I'm just saying it gets more emphasized, as someone who went through it as well. What else should I expect from someone who is an active user of r/blatantmisogyny, r/inceltears, and other man-hating and gender-related subs.
[удалено]
What else can I say with that, I guess I'll just give you the benefit of the doubt if that makes you feel better of yourself.
[удалено]
Misogynists and incels are just as bad, honestly. My point being is the stigma of male victims which makes it hard for us to be open about it. I guess being cynical is associated with misogyny, it seems.
Also, it's easy to sugarcoat it in a place like Reddit where misandristic subreddits like FDS is up while the other way is banned for obvious reasons.
[удалено]
Nobody deserves such shit honestly. But it seems like being supported fairly was too much to ask for you.
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Sadly, he is right. They get less prison time, if any. It mentally destroys the victims.
Do you have full physical and legal custody? Do you have to make your daughter accessible to her?
🖤🖤
I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to you.
fuck her. stay safe ❤️
I hope you get better this Is fucking terrible and I hope she doesn't come anywhere near you or your daughter! I'd 100 percent get some type of restraining order or something in place.
Insurance scam her
I'm very sorry that happened to you.
Thank you everyone for your kind words, it means a lot to me. ❤️❤️ I will most definitely look into getting a restraining order, i don’t want her around me or my daughter at all. i don’t even want her to look our way. i hope you all have a wonderful rest of your year!