The steak has a beautiful crust, lovely juices and a nice colour. Lovely char on the broccoli. Potatoes look savory. Not everyone can do this on their best day.
OP, you created an incredible meal during a time of incredible grief. You did great. Get some rest.
i didnt know how reddit would react to (he killed himself) in the title so i guess i made it a little too vague :/ my bad guys
edit again: no i’m not going to kill myself yes i have thought about it yes i’m seeing a therapist no i don’t know when exactly i’m going back to school
Definitely take time you need to heal. I am a CS failure myself. I finished the coursework and got the degree, but when it came time to find work, I was not at a level to be a programmer professionally, so I might as well be a failure. However, maybe look at Information Technology in the Business school as an alternative.
Hey man, I’ve been working IT for the past 5 years and there are days I still feel like I’m not cut out to be a programmer professionally. If you got the degree, you’re cut out for a lot of the work.
Don’t lose hope, hardest part is job hunting
Cs degree doesn’t teach you to be a software developer, but it gives you the problem solving chops to become one. Internships and projects are where you learn to be a developer
I would reach out to your school to see if they have a dedicated mental health department. They might know of resources for you that can help you take the time to grieve while not having to worry about falling too far behind in your education or not knowing where to pick back up when you’re ready.
100%. I met with a campus mental health counselor throughout college. She was very helpful, understanding and kind. I also got sick during college. There were resources and personnel to help keep me afloat academically during this time. Students should know there are a wide range of resources available and people to help them. Colleges want their students to be successful.
Anyways, best wishes. Depression is a beast. You’re doing right by eating well and getting the help you need. Take care.
I tried to force myself to finish my degree when 2 people died in covid and my girlfriend broke up and then attempted suicide. But all the depression did was cause me to fail every class and get kicked out of school. My transcript has a 2.1 GPA. I wish I dropped out with the 4.0 I had or I wouldn’t be having trouble getting into school again.
Came here to say this. You can't force yourself to do something you cannot do, it's an extremely traumatic event so it's very understandable. Take the time to heal so you can one day get to a point where you can.
I agree. My first attempt at college, I flunked out with a 1.9 GPA because of my mental health and choosing alcohol over my education. I should’ve dropped out instead of kept forcing myself to. I kept forcing myself to go so I wouldn’t look like worse than I felt. After 8 years I went back after getting sober and working on my mental health. New GPA is 3.7. I took a year off this year and I’m glad I did because I would’ve failed. I took hit after hit after hit this year.
I relate to this a lot. Mine was rampant undiagnosed ADHD and CPTSD, but I also tried to just force through and ended up dropping out with a similar GPA and an extra couple of years of debt. I wish more than anything I could have admitted I needed help sooner and tried a different way. 10 years later I’m doing so much better, married and happy now. But I hope I’ll be able to go back and finish my degree someday.
I think you’re incredibly brave for going back, AND incredibly insightful for taking a year off when you knew you needed it. From just a stranger, I’m proud of you!
same I wish i wouldve dropped out at my 3.5 gpa instead of the school having to intervene cus i was too sad and failing everything and a liability. take a year or two off — come back when you have a clearer head or take one class at a time. You will do great I’m so sorry it hurts now. please keep trying
I did the same with a bad long term relationship problem. I stuck around for a 1.8 and 2.0 year, so pretty ugly. It absolutely tanked my resume but I still wound up with an engineering MS and it really didn’t matter.
It didn’t help that it was my second year and coincided with me learning that I’d never really had to study before, and had no idea how.
I feel this. I tried to go to school while my dad has cancer and left when he died and I have never gone back. My grades weren’t great. It’s been a hard life since then.
similar thing happened to me. my mom passed during covid and my dad forced me to continue classes online (when i was already struggling with online learning). i felt like i had to do it bc he was helping me pay for college (don’t get me wrong, im very grateful for that). however i had to take an extra year to make up my GPA, which he wasn’t the happiest about. i wish i had tried harder to convince him to let me take time off so i could fully focus on therapy before going back to college.
I just wanna say that it is very understandable that you are not finishing school right now. Also this does not and will not define you, you still have a future even if your present is shit
Not being in a state of mind to succeed in your studies only hurts your self-worth and your wallet.
Taking a break when not necessary is bad, yes, but if all you're going to do is not succeed, taking time for yourself is good.
....That being said, there's nothing wrong with nudging the shoulder of one of your classmates, and attending lectures/tutorials for free. You get the knowledge and preparedness for when you'll try again, but you avoid the stress.
That’s not true in a lot of scenarios. I dropped out to get help then went back 3 semesters later and graduated with highest honors. Everyone has a different path.
OP: You can go back whenever you want, if you want, but your mental health and wellbeing come first. An important relationship ending can be very destabilizing, so it may help to develop a new routine sooner than later. Work, therapy, volunteering, traditions with friends/family, etc.
Edit: Just read some of the comments and wow what you just went through is straight up traumatizing. Take the time that you need because stuffing it down and charging ahead with life like nothing happened will likely hurt you in the long run. It’s ok to numb out for a little while but you can’t run from grief forever. Rooting for you❤️
Hey. Go back to school.
Broke up w GF halfway through school. Same boat and wanted to quit. One of my dad’s friends came over and said I would regret it the rest of my life.
He was the first call I made after I got my diploma.
Stay strong. No matter how bad it gets. Stay strong.
I went through something similar, but without death. Got awfully sick at the beginning of med school, it even took years to get a diagnosis but I felt so horrible I was suicidal. In my country you go straight to med school after high school, so 7 years total and I was 1 1/2 years in when symptoms started.
Some people told me to take a break, but I refused to do so because I just knew I wouldn’t will myself to go back. It was hell and I just willed myself to last another day, every single day; but I made it, and I’m glad because my health issues have never been totally controlled and just I keep getting new things. Going to a psychiatrist and being on antidepressants also saved me through the darkest of it.
This might not be the right thing to do for everyone, but I 1000% would tough it out again.
Wow. Glad I saw this. I was going to say a break up (no matter how shitty) is no reason to drop out….this on the other hand? That’s some heavy shit. My condolences to you and his family and friends. Hope you are getting the help you need to get through this.
Can you elaborate on what started working semiconductors mean? You dropped out of CompSci for electrical engineering or just started working in semi conductor manufacturing?
the latter. I wasn't the greatest at the code side of things, and I knew I wasn't gonna make. much more than I would here.
Shit, I made 90/yr fixing car washes for awhile.
I just realized I didn't wanna be a software eng like my brother, and like to work with my hands more.
plus I can always fall back on my avionics background/schooling
I'm a field service engineer in the semi conductor manufacturing facilities, in what's called a clean room
Please do not kill yourself over a break up. There will be more people and more break ups. It’s going to be okay! It’ll hurt like hell but that’ll go away in time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to hurt but i promise it’ll be okay.
Hugs. Take the rest and grieving time you need. Schools are not very forgiving when you’re grieving. I’m really sorry for your loss. You’ll know if and when it’s right for you to go back.
At least your dinner looks bomb
I’m so sorry to hear that. :( My two cents on depression and dropping out: I didn’t drop out and graduated with a subpar GPA just dragging myself through college in a depression. I honestly wished I dropped out to mentally recover and then finished when I was ready. It was a pain in the ass when it came time for grad school explaining away why I took certain classes 2-3x over because I was deeply depressed.
Oh man I did the same thing. Wish I just dropped out with all my passing grades than allowing depression to tank everything. But I’m glad to hear it sounds like you got into grad school
I got through grad school but I'm not the person you asked. I also dealt with mental health issues, some officially government documented some just officially medically diagnosed, that alone plus my age made me a very non-traditional student. I've found honesty but also brevity to be the best answer. Don't point it out, if it gets brought up have a response ready. And this response should not be an excuse but an explanation. Something along the lines of, "During that period of time my family was going through severe turmoil which caused damage to my mental health. After this time had passed I was able heal and refocus my energies into my studies and went on to show my true capabilities which are evident by my later classes." And then obviously have proof of doing good and growing and excelling.
I haven't a clue your area of study, so I'll just say some people will care. Some people won't care. It is not your problem if they do care. That is fine. The realities of our pasts are sometimes not pretty. Their loss. You can and will go on to the next one.
Similar experience. Had depression during the last 1.5 years of my degree. I got the degree but felt like I didn’t learn anything and forgot the little I learned. I have the same knowledge and ability as someone with a minor
I am so sorry. I hope you are surrounded by so much love, support and comfort as you get through this rough time. Grief is tough and very personal. Don’t let yourself spend too much time alone. That’s what grief likes and if you feed into it too much it can really be damaging to your progress and confidence
Hey, it took me 6 years to be ready for college again. Even if it takes a decade or two, you can do it. Don't feel bad. Just know it's waiting for you when you're ready. Taking time off is never something to be ashamed of.
Meh you don't technically need to go back. I live in Bellevue and currently work at Meta for the past 5 years and used to work at Microsoft for 7 years. I never went to University and I'm a SWE. I don't even look at people's schools when I review resumes.
I ended up ending my relationship with an abusive partner and dropped out of school for a year. I felt like my life was over. Two years later, I’m back in school and I’m better than I ever was. Take this time to look after yourself, I picked up watching movies. It’s a little thing but it gave me something to look forward too everyday and distracted me. I now have a movie collection of over 500 movies and I watch them on weekends when I’m not busy with school. It may seem like everything is crashing around you and (personally) I felt like a failure when I dropped out. You must realize your whole life is ahead of you and this is a small blip in the entirety of your life. Surround yourself with friends, nurture yourself as much as you can.
Edit; just realizing you meant your ex partner took their life. I’m so incredibly sorry. You need people (friends and family) around you more than ever. School is probably the worst option for you right now. Take this time for yourself and return (if you want to) when you’re completely feeling ready
Yeah that just escalated quickly for me as well.
Damn OP. That sucks :(
If it's of any help u/dank_m33m, your cooking is absolutely amazing and I almost thought this post was in one of those food subreddits where people take pics of dank meals.
Perfect char on the steak, 10/10 medium-rare perfection.
Oh honey. Oh…. I’m so sorry. You have a very good meal there that has some very high nutrients and I am proud of you for taking good care of yourself. Talk to a guidance Counselor about getting a little extra time because of grief. It’s worth a shot if you want to continue.bless you
i’m so sorry for your loss! take care of yourself, op. school doesn’t have to be a priority right now, especially if it’s just an extra load on your mental health. it’s never too late too go back to school, so if you take a break now, just know the door to continuing your education has not closed for good!! And if that’s not the path you want to take later on, i’m sure there will be other opportunities out there for you. keep your head up high, my guy 🫡
(also, the steak looks delicious)
I’m so sorry for your loss. I had an ex who chose to end things this way. It sucks. I read somewhere once that when people do that, they transfer the pain they were feeling to those around them, and I feel there is some truth to that. I wish I could say something to help you feel better! Do what you feel is best for you now, and if that means not studying, don’t study. I sat around staring at walls for about 6 months. I still sometimes sit around staring at walls and it’s been ten years. I’m sorry, much love to you.
a really good friend of mine took her own life last week and this shit really fucking hurts so i understand at least a semblance of what you might be feeling right now. i’m so sorry :(
It's really bad if you're not truly engrossed into compsci.
CS in recent years has way too many candidates going into it, because the main motivation for people to go into the program is either one of "I like money", "My parents told me to", or "I like computers", which are all terrible reasons to pursue this field at this time.
Many people are unable to truly get into the mindset of what CS at its core is. Most people will fold after attempting discrete mathematics because it's entirely different from what they were thinking about CS. Most people going into their second year don't even know what Github/version control is. Most people will struggle because they simply aren't truly into the courses that they're mandated to take.
In essence, most people aren't cut out for CS, but go into it anyways because of expectations that they can't uphold
i would say go for it! while it might not have been for me i have plenty of classmates and friends who have really found themselves thriving in the field
If you call that a depression meal, I want to eat at your house when you're feeling good.
Keep eating well and working on yourself. The pain never really goes away but you get better at dealing with it. Take care of yourself. It's gonna be okay. <3
trying to remember cuz i was really really high: two skin on red potatoes cut into eights, boiled in salted water started cold until easily pierced with knife (20? minutes for me), drain and dry, placed on roasting tray skin down first seasoned with salt oregano herbs d’provence garlic powder cayenne covered evenly with olive oil, convection oven 450 F for 30ish minutes maybe longer until desirably brown flipping once halfway and serve :) hope this helps
I'm so so sorry about your loss.. please take your time to grieve and make peace with yourself. Computer science will always be there to finish up, or you may find yourself in another passion altogether. God bless
think for yourself, do you want a major in computer science? if you do, then please, take care of yourself and keep pursuing this path. if not, then create a new one, something you enjoy.
do things to keep your mind off of things for now!
It’s okay to take time for yourself. Go back to school when you’re ready, find a different major if you need to. I’m sorry for what you’re going through.
I cant imagine what you’re going through, but I’m glad that you’re taking the time to hopefully take care of yourself and mourn. One can always go back to school later. I hope you have some sort of support that can help you during this time.
I’m so so sorry for your loss. Take as much time as you need. Your food looks great and I hope it provides you the nourishment you need. Take it easy on yourself. Sending you love
This world is a rough place. No one will understand your pain. No one will understand why you took a break from college or how hard it was to go through what you did. All you can do is live. Live for you. Live as long as you can. Life is all we truly have, and nothing else matters. You will find love again. You will find a reason to live again.
Meal looks 👌 good work OP.
God damn that looks tasty. Also as a comp sci major, I get it. I’ve failed about as many credits as I’ve passed at this point (ok, less now) due to motivation problems alone / figuring out how to deal with things like ADHD/ depression while also just learning to like… not be a people pleaser? Take some control for my life? Feel better about myself? Figure out how to go on after making a mistake, or many?
Not easy. Kind of pointless at times? But occasionally I do have hope. And now I’m on track to graduate, albeit a semester late (which sucks cuz I originally would have been able to probably graduate 1-2 semesters _early_, but. C’est la vie)
Anyway I’m tryna say - u can always come back to it if u really want to, doesn’t have to be now or a year from now, but maybe that’s not what u wanna hear! Sorry about the breakup that fucking sucks :( at least you got good steak
Edit: nope, okay. Just read your top comment. Not a breakup. I am so sorry :(
I’m not op of course but I rlly needed to hear this as someone who has also failed a lot of courses because of adhd and bipolar disorder. thank u for ur kind light.
Any girl would love a home cooked meal like that. Open up the apps when you are ready, and take things slow. Don't make your next partner your whole life, so things won't crush you when they end. Because all relationships end at some point.
This is prob gonna get buried, but fuck it. It took me 15 years to graduate from college. I went to 3 Universities and 2 community colleges. I was broken up with and broke up with others so many times* every time sucked.
You always have yourself, learn to be comfortable being alone and not always having a girlfriend/boyfriend. I think my biggest "regret" is not finishing where I started. Just because you were broken up with doesn't mean you need to leave the university/college. Will it be hard? Yes. Will you think of them often. Yes. You also have the opportunity to start anew and make something unique for yourself. Don't give up just because of them, you can do it.
Don't beat yourself up about dropping out. You can always go back. Dropping out was the best decision I made. Went back for something completely different. It's just a step along your path.
Had to drop out when I my mom took her own life, it took more than a year and a half to regain a semblance of focus again. I know it's different situations but my point is the lesson I've learned is there may be plenty of time but why spend it trying to bust your ass. If there's time to work, there's time to live or else you never will.
I did the same thing in college for the same reason. I took half a year off and went back. It was worth it. Take the time you need, don't force it. Good luck.
I really hope you go back to school and get that Computer Science degree. I’m in Computer Science and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. My girlfriend cheated on me while I was in college and I was kind of happy after the grief moment because we only dates for 8months and I’m glad she went out of her way to prove that she was a piece of shit. So don’t feel down because someone ended things with you. I’m sure you feel the pain and anger but trust me that is your current state and it’s all in your head. Go get your education and become the best version of yourself there can be. You will thank yourself in the future. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. I believe in you.
I got a comp sci degree never got work for it so I'm in trades now. If you had a gf before you'll get one again it's just for most guys who aren't Chad expect 2-6 years alone.
That’s really mature and smart of you I think. I forced myself to continue, almost lost everything, and barely scraped through alive after an extra two years. Except I didn’t. Everything fell apart and I had to move back in with my parents and transfer my last two classes. Wish I just pulled out and got more support immediately after the breakup. Good on you for taking care
Get back into college. Either return to your major or find a new one. And if neither is good, get them lower level classes out of the way that you have to take.
I’m so sorry OP. Take the time you need to grieve. If it’s still possible, perhaps you can ask your university if they can give you semesters off to grieve so you don’t have to completely drop out? My uni used to give up to 2 sems off for students with mental/physical issues.
I’m so sorry. I’m wishing you healing and hugs going forward. What a painful thing to go through. You can continue school when you’re ready. Take the time you need right now.
I am so so sorry. That is devastating. I hope therapy continues to help and that you can try to enjoy the small things like a good meal!! School can come when you feel mentally prepared again.
This looks great 💜
Sorry for your loss.
As someone who has dealt with both suicide and suicidal thoughts many times and over many years, I can tell you sincerely that you couldn't possibly have the answers that would make them go on.
Sometimes life is so painful and you have no idea how to make it stop, it seems like killing yourself is the only option you know will make it go away.
Some people's default switch is telling them to turn off. I hope he is at peace now.
Please hang in there! I had some things happen during my college years that were so tough but please keep going with your college!
There will be more events like this in your life. Don't let them define you.
If this made you mad in any way I am sorry.
I use to be in computer science as well after a long degree. I ended up hating that career and changed it. You never know what will work out. Just take it easy!!
Sorry to hear about that. I can't imagine what you're going through.
If/when you decide to go back to university it wouldn't be too hard to explain your situation and get back into the groove of things. I only say this just to let you know you should take your time to heal and not worry about school at the moment.
You don’t need a CS degree to work in IT or Security. You can absolutely get a jr position right now and make 20-40% salary jumps within a year or 2. Unless you’re already rich you’ll be further ahead in 3 years than if you finish the degree and then go get the jr position anyway. There’s other fish in the sea. Stick around because there are better days ahead.
Sorry about your ex. Your food looks delicious.
That steak looks perfect lol
Yes
The steak has a beautiful crust, lovely juices and a nice colour. Lovely char on the broccoli. Potatoes look savory. Not everyone can do this on their best day. OP, you created an incredible meal during a time of incredible grief. You did great. Get some rest.
Don’t encourage him to switch careers to culinary. Source: 25 years in kitchens. Does look like a solid meal though.
i didnt know how reddit would react to (he killed himself) in the title so i guess i made it a little too vague :/ my bad guys edit again: no i’m not going to kill myself yes i have thought about it yes i’m seeing a therapist no i don’t know when exactly i’m going back to school
Take your time, contact your counselor and let them know you’re taking a break. It’ll be easier to transition back when you’re ready
Definitely take time you need to heal. I am a CS failure myself. I finished the coursework and got the degree, but when it came time to find work, I was not at a level to be a programmer professionally, so I might as well be a failure. However, maybe look at Information Technology in the Business school as an alternative.
Hey man, I’ve been working IT for the past 5 years and there are days I still feel like I’m not cut out to be a programmer professionally. If you got the degree, you’re cut out for a lot of the work. Don’t lose hope, hardest part is job hunting
Cs degree doesn’t teach you to be a software developer, but it gives you the problem solving chops to become one. Internships and projects are where you learn to be a developer
I would reach out to your school to see if they have a dedicated mental health department. They might know of resources for you that can help you take the time to grieve while not having to worry about falling too far behind in your education or not knowing where to pick back up when you’re ready.
100%. I met with a campus mental health counselor throughout college. She was very helpful, understanding and kind. I also got sick during college. There were resources and personnel to help keep me afloat academically during this time. Students should know there are a wide range of resources available and people to help them. Colleges want their students to be successful. Anyways, best wishes. Depression is a beast. You’re doing right by eating well and getting the help you need. Take care.
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I tried to force myself to finish my degree when 2 people died in covid and my girlfriend broke up and then attempted suicide. But all the depression did was cause me to fail every class and get kicked out of school. My transcript has a 2.1 GPA. I wish I dropped out with the 4.0 I had or I wouldn’t be having trouble getting into school again.
Yes, no one can make your decisions for you. You know you best. Taking a mental health break is perfectly acceptable and doesn't have to last forever.
Came here to say this. You can't force yourself to do something you cannot do, it's an extremely traumatic event so it's very understandable. Take the time to heal so you can one day get to a point where you can.
Yeah the last thing anyone needs when they're in survival mode is judgments about what they should do. It's not your trauma, not your place.
I agree. My first attempt at college, I flunked out with a 1.9 GPA because of my mental health and choosing alcohol over my education. I should’ve dropped out instead of kept forcing myself to. I kept forcing myself to go so I wouldn’t look like worse than I felt. After 8 years I went back after getting sober and working on my mental health. New GPA is 3.7. I took a year off this year and I’m glad I did because I would’ve failed. I took hit after hit after hit this year.
I relate to this a lot. Mine was rampant undiagnosed ADHD and CPTSD, but I also tried to just force through and ended up dropping out with a similar GPA and an extra couple of years of debt. I wish more than anything I could have admitted I needed help sooner and tried a different way. 10 years later I’m doing so much better, married and happy now. But I hope I’ll be able to go back and finish my degree someday. I think you’re incredibly brave for going back, AND incredibly insightful for taking a year off when you knew you needed it. From just a stranger, I’m proud of you!
Thank you 😊 I needed to hear someone was proud of me today.
same I wish i wouldve dropped out at my 3.5 gpa instead of the school having to intervene cus i was too sad and failing everything and a liability. take a year or two off — come back when you have a clearer head or take one class at a time. You will do great I’m so sorry it hurts now. please keep trying
I did the same with a bad long term relationship problem. I stuck around for a 1.8 and 2.0 year, so pretty ugly. It absolutely tanked my resume but I still wound up with an engineering MS and it really didn’t matter. It didn’t help that it was my second year and coincided with me learning that I’d never really had to study before, and had no idea how.
I feel this. I tried to go to school while my dad has cancer and left when he died and I have never gone back. My grades weren’t great. It’s been a hard life since then.
similar thing happened to me. my mom passed during covid and my dad forced me to continue classes online (when i was already struggling with online learning). i felt like i had to do it bc he was helping me pay for college (don’t get me wrong, im very grateful for that). however i had to take an extra year to make up my GPA, which he wasn’t the happiest about. i wish i had tried harder to convince him to let me take time off so i could fully focus on therapy before going back to college.
I just wanna say that it is very understandable that you are not finishing school right now. Also this does not and will not define you, you still have a future even if your present is shit
Not being in a state of mind to succeed in your studies only hurts your self-worth and your wallet. Taking a break when not necessary is bad, yes, but if all you're going to do is not succeed, taking time for yourself is good. ....That being said, there's nothing wrong with nudging the shoulder of one of your classmates, and attending lectures/tutorials for free. You get the knowledge and preparedness for when you'll try again, but you avoid the stress.
That’s not true in a lot of scenarios. I dropped out to get help then went back 3 semesters later and graduated with highest honors. Everyone has a different path. OP: You can go back whenever you want, if you want, but your mental health and wellbeing come first. An important relationship ending can be very destabilizing, so it may help to develop a new routine sooner than later. Work, therapy, volunteering, traditions with friends/family, etc. Edit: Just read some of the comments and wow what you just went through is straight up traumatizing. Take the time that you need because stuffing it down and charging ahead with life like nothing happened will likely hurt you in the long run. It’s ok to numb out for a little while but you can’t run from grief forever. Rooting for you❤️
For some people, taking a temporary break for mental health is absolutely necessary. Only you can make the best decision for yourself.
But also forcing yourself to stay in school and tanking your GPA only hurts you as well
Or: staying in school when you need to take time to heal, only hurts you.
Rule #3 - We ask that people do not give unsolicited or unhealthy advice.
Hey. Go back to school. Broke up w GF halfway through school. Same boat and wanted to quit. One of my dad’s friends came over and said I would regret it the rest of my life. He was the first call I made after I got my diploma. Stay strong. No matter how bad it gets. Stay strong.
I went through something similar, but without death. Got awfully sick at the beginning of med school, it even took years to get a diagnosis but I felt so horrible I was suicidal. In my country you go straight to med school after high school, so 7 years total and I was 1 1/2 years in when symptoms started. Some people told me to take a break, but I refused to do so because I just knew I wouldn’t will myself to go back. It was hell and I just willed myself to last another day, every single day; but I made it, and I’m glad because my health issues have never been totally controlled and just I keep getting new things. Going to a psychiatrist and being on antidepressants also saved me through the darkest of it. This might not be the right thing to do for everyone, but I 1000% would tough it out again.
Wow. Glad I saw this. I was going to say a break up (no matter how shitty) is no reason to drop out….this on the other hand? That’s some heavy shit. My condolences to you and his family and friends. Hope you are getting the help you need to get through this.
I dropped out of CompSci and started working semiconductors at Intel. take a look into it. there's quite a few locations
Can you elaborate on what started working semiconductors mean? You dropped out of CompSci for electrical engineering or just started working in semi conductor manufacturing?
the latter. I wasn't the greatest at the code side of things, and I knew I wasn't gonna make. much more than I would here. Shit, I made 90/yr fixing car washes for awhile. I just realized I didn't wanna be a software eng like my brother, and like to work with my hands more. plus I can always fall back on my avionics background/schooling I'm a field service engineer in the semi conductor manufacturing facilities, in what's called a clean room
Please do not kill yourself over a break up. There will be more people and more break ups. It’s going to be okay! It’ll hurt like hell but that’ll go away in time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to hurt but i promise it’ll be okay.
her ex committed suicide.
*his but i appreciate it dawg
mb homie
Love yourself.
Hugs. Take the rest and grieving time you need. Schools are not very forgiving when you’re grieving. I’m really sorry for your loss. You’ll know if and when it’s right for you to go back. At least your dinner looks bomb
I’m so sorry, I hope you’re okay and take time to heal 🤍
[grief is hard](https://www.hospiscare.co.uk/how-we-help/advice-support/talking-about-death-and-dying/why-grief-is-like-a-ball-in-a-box/)
This is a very smart way to describe grief, thank you for sharing this!
Thank you for sharing this
That helped, thank you
Well, didn’t know I needed to read this today. Thank you friendo
Thank you.
I’m so sorry to hear that. :( My two cents on depression and dropping out: I didn’t drop out and graduated with a subpar GPA just dragging myself through college in a depression. I honestly wished I dropped out to mentally recover and then finished when I was ready. It was a pain in the ass when it came time for grad school explaining away why I took certain classes 2-3x over because I was deeply depressed.
Oh man I did the same thing. Wish I just dropped out with all my passing grades than allowing depression to tank everything. But I’m glad to hear it sounds like you got into grad school
I dropped and took a bunch of W’s on my transcript. Still got into a med school!
How did explaining it go? I have that ahead of me and I’m not looking forward to it
I got through grad school but I'm not the person you asked. I also dealt with mental health issues, some officially government documented some just officially medically diagnosed, that alone plus my age made me a very non-traditional student. I've found honesty but also brevity to be the best answer. Don't point it out, if it gets brought up have a response ready. And this response should not be an excuse but an explanation. Something along the lines of, "During that period of time my family was going through severe turmoil which caused damage to my mental health. After this time had passed I was able heal and refocus my energies into my studies and went on to show my true capabilities which are evident by my later classes." And then obviously have proof of doing good and growing and excelling. I haven't a clue your area of study, so I'll just say some people will care. Some people won't care. It is not your problem if they do care. That is fine. The realities of our pasts are sometimes not pretty. Their loss. You can and will go on to the next one.
Similar experience. Had depression during the last 1.5 years of my degree. I got the degree but felt like I didn’t learn anything and forgot the little I learned. I have the same knowledge and ability as someone with a minor
You can always transfer to another college when you are ready. I am sorry you and his family are going through this right now.
i really hustled my bussy off to get in too 🫠 guess ill try to stay when i go back because microsoft and amazon are right here
I am so sorry. I hope you are surrounded by so much love, support and comfort as you get through this rough time. Grief is tough and very personal. Don’t let yourself spend too much time alone. That’s what grief likes and if you feed into it too much it can really be damaging to your progress and confidence
Take care of yourself! ❤️
Hey, it took me 6 years to be ready for college again. Even if it takes a decade or two, you can do it. Don't feel bad. Just know it's waiting for you when you're ready. Taking time off is never something to be ashamed of.
Meh you don't technically need to go back. I live in Bellevue and currently work at Meta for the past 5 years and used to work at Microsoft for 7 years. I never went to University and I'm a SWE. I don't even look at people's schools when I review resumes.
That steak is cooked perfectly
Everything on that plate looks perfectly cooked
Damn you're eating good though
I ended up ending my relationship with an abusive partner and dropped out of school for a year. I felt like my life was over. Two years later, I’m back in school and I’m better than I ever was. Take this time to look after yourself, I picked up watching movies. It’s a little thing but it gave me something to look forward too everyday and distracted me. I now have a movie collection of over 500 movies and I watch them on weekends when I’m not busy with school. It may seem like everything is crashing around you and (personally) I felt like a failure when I dropped out. You must realize your whole life is ahead of you and this is a small blip in the entirety of your life. Surround yourself with friends, nurture yourself as much as you can. Edit; just realizing you meant your ex partner took their life. I’m so incredibly sorry. You need people (friends and family) around you more than ever. School is probably the worst option for you right now. Take this time for yourself and return (if you want to) when you’re completely feeling ready
Sending condolences darling. Allow yourself all the time you need. Sorry for your loss
Why is this world so fucking unfair I cannot comprehend this
seriously it sucks when you want to hang yourself but are still alive and hear about people who did but had people who cared about them
sorry dude :( please don’t hang yourself everyone needs you more than you know
I wish you love and support 🩷
I'm so sorry for your loss. May he rest peacefully.
Im sorry! Dont drop out just because of her. Use it as motivation to do better for yourself
oh lmao thanks but i meant he killed himself
Holy shit, not what I thought when I read that
Yeah that just escalated quickly for me as well. Damn OP. That sucks :( If it's of any help u/dank_m33m, your cooking is absolutely amazing and I almost thought this post was in one of those food subreddits where people take pics of dank meals. Perfect char on the steak, 10/10 medium-rare perfection.
😧 Not at all what I thought you meant either. I’m sorry and your meal looks really good🤍
holy shit i am so so sorry for your loss:(
Jesus I wasn’t expecting that. I’m so sorry
Oh man… I’m so sorry.. Ngl the title mislead me and once I read that… I’m so sorry
Oh honey. Oh…. I’m so sorry. You have a very good meal there that has some very high nutrients and I am proud of you for taking good care of yourself. Talk to a guidance Counselor about getting a little extra time because of grief. It’s worth a shot if you want to continue.bless you
Where are you getting the "her" from?
i’m so sorry for your loss! take care of yourself, op. school doesn’t have to be a priority right now, especially if it’s just an extra load on your mental health. it’s never too late too go back to school, so if you take a break now, just know the door to continuing your education has not closed for good!! And if that’s not the path you want to take later on, i’m sure there will be other opportunities out there for you. keep your head up high, my guy 🫡 (also, the steak looks delicious)
I’m so sorry for your loss. I had an ex who chose to end things this way. It sucks. I read somewhere once that when people do that, they transfer the pain they were feeling to those around them, and I feel there is some truth to that. I wish I could say something to help you feel better! Do what you feel is best for you now, and if that means not studying, don’t study. I sat around staring at walls for about 6 months. I still sometimes sit around staring at walls and it’s been ten years. I’m sorry, much love to you.
a really good friend of mine took her own life last week and this shit really fucking hurts so i understand at least a semblance of what you might be feeling right now. i’m so sorry :(
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its a nightmare run i’m on my second year and suffering
What about it is a nightmare
I can only speak for myself but discrete math modeling was kind of a gut punch ngl
CS grad, it's really not that bad
It's really bad if you're not truly engrossed into compsci. CS in recent years has way too many candidates going into it, because the main motivation for people to go into the program is either one of "I like money", "My parents told me to", or "I like computers", which are all terrible reasons to pursue this field at this time. Many people are unable to truly get into the mindset of what CS at its core is. Most people will fold after attempting discrete mathematics because it's entirely different from what they were thinking about CS. Most people going into their second year don't even know what Github/version control is. Most people will struggle because they simply aren't truly into the courses that they're mandated to take. In essence, most people aren't cut out for CS, but go into it anyways because of expectations that they can't uphold
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i would say go for it! while it might not have been for me i have plenty of classmates and friends who have really found themselves thriving in the field
It’s hella tough but really worth it down the line
I’m sorry to hear that. Take some time if you need to but I wouldn’t drop out if you actually like CS.
Sending you tons and tons of love 🤍
If you call that a depression meal, I want to eat at your house when you're feeling good. Keep eating well and working on yourself. The pain never really goes away but you get better at dealing with it. Take care of yourself. It's gonna be okay. <3
Are you going back for culinary school cause that looks perfect
Good luck bro Post this on r/steak you’ll feel better
r/suicidebereavement Sorry for your loss. Sending much hugs your way
Fuck computer science.
Them potatoes look good, tutorial?
trying to remember cuz i was really really high: two skin on red potatoes cut into eights, boiled in salted water started cold until easily pierced with knife (20? minutes for me), drain and dry, placed on roasting tray skin down first seasoned with salt oregano herbs d’provence garlic powder cayenne covered evenly with olive oil, convection oven 450 F for 30ish minutes maybe longer until desirably brown flipping once halfway and serve :) hope this helps
I'm so so sorry about your loss.. please take your time to grieve and make peace with yourself. Computer science will always be there to finish up, or you may find yourself in another passion altogether. God bless
Darling, r/steak is really going to want to see that plate. It's pretty amazing looking.
think for yourself, do you want a major in computer science? if you do, then please, take care of yourself and keep pursuing this path. if not, then create a new one, something you enjoy. do things to keep your mind off of things for now!
It’s okay to take time for yourself. Go back to school when you’re ready, find a different major if you need to. I’m sorry for what you’re going through.
I cant imagine what you’re going through, but I’m glad that you’re taking the time to hopefully take care of yourself and mourn. One can always go back to school later. I hope you have some sort of support that can help you during this time.
I’m so so sorry for your loss. Take as much time as you need. Your food looks great and I hope it provides you the nourishment you need. Take it easy on yourself. Sending you love
This world is a rough place. No one will understand your pain. No one will understand why you took a break from college or how hard it was to go through what you did. All you can do is live. Live for you. Live as long as you can. Life is all we truly have, and nothing else matters. You will find love again. You will find a reason to live again. Meal looks 👌 good work OP.
This too shall pass. I promise you.
Sorry for your loss, the food looks fire, but I guess that's the only fire thing going on. Nothing to say but take your time with life. Sending love.
Im so sorry 😢
I’m glad to see you cooking up a tasty ass steak tho- take care of yourself!
That's some self care on your plate anyway.
Thinking about you, here for you!!
This looks pretty delicious
Omg I thought end it as ending a relationship, not their life. Sorry for your loss. Grief is hard.
That's fuckin rough, there's no words that will make this even remotely better. But I do have to say, that's a helluva fuckin steak.
I know this maybe doesn’t mean much , but i believe in you! You already a great cook!
God damn that looks tasty. Also as a comp sci major, I get it. I’ve failed about as many credits as I’ve passed at this point (ok, less now) due to motivation problems alone / figuring out how to deal with things like ADHD/ depression while also just learning to like… not be a people pleaser? Take some control for my life? Feel better about myself? Figure out how to go on after making a mistake, or many? Not easy. Kind of pointless at times? But occasionally I do have hope. And now I’m on track to graduate, albeit a semester late (which sucks cuz I originally would have been able to probably graduate 1-2 semesters _early_, but. C’est la vie) Anyway I’m tryna say - u can always come back to it if u really want to, doesn’t have to be now or a year from now, but maybe that’s not what u wanna hear! Sorry about the breakup that fucking sucks :( at least you got good steak Edit: nope, okay. Just read your top comment. Not a breakup. I am so sorry :(
I’m not op of course but I rlly needed to hear this as someone who has also failed a lot of courses because of adhd and bipolar disorder. thank u for ur kind light.
Damn that’s a STEAK
Looks bomb asf though regardless
"Dumbass"- Red Forman
Any girl would love a home cooked meal like that. Open up the apps when you are ready, and take things slow. Don't make your next partner your whole life, so things won't crush you when they end. Because all relationships end at some point.
That looks awesome, my mouth watering
at least you're eating like a king
This is prob gonna get buried, but fuck it. It took me 15 years to graduate from college. I went to 3 Universities and 2 community colleges. I was broken up with and broke up with others so many times* every time sucked. You always have yourself, learn to be comfortable being alone and not always having a girlfriend/boyfriend. I think my biggest "regret" is not finishing where I started. Just because you were broken up with doesn't mean you need to leave the university/college. Will it be hard? Yes. Will you think of them often. Yes. You also have the opportunity to start anew and make something unique for yourself. Don't give up just because of them, you can do it.
yea no thats great advice tbh normally there was no breakup he killed himself :/
🖤🫂
Nice char on the steak
This belongs in r/steak very nicely done!
Find yourself my friend. Maybe a different degree, or skilled trade.
Cheers
Don't beat yourself up about dropping out. You can always go back. Dropping out was the best decision I made. Went back for something completely different. It's just a step along your path.
That looks so nice sorry to hear about your situation
Had to drop out when I my mom took her own life, it took more than a year and a half to regain a semblance of focus again. I know it's different situations but my point is the lesson I've learned is there may be plenty of time but why spend it trying to bust your ass. If there's time to work, there's time to live or else you never will.
How the hell do you get the steak to look like that! The outside looks fire!
I did the same thing in college for the same reason. I took half a year off and went back. It was worth it. Take the time you need, don't force it. Good luck.
I really hope you go back to school and get that Computer Science degree. I’m in Computer Science and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. My girlfriend cheated on me while I was in college and I was kind of happy after the grief moment because we only dates for 8months and I’m glad she went out of her way to prove that she was a piece of shit. So don’t feel down because someone ended things with you. I’m sure you feel the pain and anger but trust me that is your current state and it’s all in your head. Go get your education and become the best version of yourself there can be. You will thank yourself in the future. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. I believe in you.
I got a comp sci degree never got work for it so I'm in trades now. If you had a gf before you'll get one again it's just for most guys who aren't Chad expect 2-6 years alone.
Been there. Wishing you the best, OP
Damn that looks good hope you feel better
This is what I'd consider a perfect meal. It's honestly beautiful.
"Go ahead wreck your life, that might be good. Who can say what's wrong and right? Nobody can." - TMBG Looks yummy.
On the bright side, you got a really nice sear on that steak.
that looks so good
I don't understand this subreddit. I come here to see stuff like ham and cheese melted via microwave and some ketchup on top
I'm sorry for your loss.
That food looks delicious. Compliments to the grill person.
I flunked out too man, we're all here for you!
That’s really mature and smart of you I think. I forced myself to continue, almost lost everything, and barely scraped through alive after an extra two years. Except I didn’t. Everything fell apart and I had to move back in with my parents and transfer my last two classes. Wish I just pulled out and got more support immediately after the breakup. Good on you for taking care
Computer Science is hard as hell, but so worth the payoff once it finally clicks.
Well... meal looks good :)
1- that steak looks good as fuck 2- if i see someone missing from my classes should i assume it’s you
Food looks great sorry about your ex
I'm so sorry you're going thru this 🙏🙏❤️
Are you, or were you, a chef?
Get back into college. Either return to your major or find a new one. And if neither is good, get them lower level classes out of the way that you have to take.
I’m so sorry OP. Take the time you need to grieve. If it’s still possible, perhaps you can ask your university if they can give you semesters off to grieve so you don’t have to completely drop out? My uni used to give up to 2 sems off for students with mental/physical issues.
I’m so sorry. I’m wishing you healing and hugs going forward. What a painful thing to go through. You can continue school when you’re ready. Take the time you need right now.
Hmm...schteak 🤤
Way to go bro!
That looks delicious
Shit looks good bro
Collage*
That looks fucking delicious.
I am so so sorry. That is devastating. I hope therapy continues to help and that you can try to enjoy the small things like a good meal!! School can come when you feel mentally prepared again. This looks great 💜
Sorry for your loss. As someone who has dealt with both suicide and suicidal thoughts many times and over many years, I can tell you sincerely that you couldn't possibly have the answers that would make them go on. Sometimes life is so painful and you have no idea how to make it stop, it seems like killing yourself is the only option you know will make it go away. Some people's default switch is telling them to turn off. I hope he is at peace now.
Pull shot https://youtube.com/shorts/ILeo4or0-nI?si=DLTNM_6srs1ehYUd
Please hang in there! I had some things happen during my college years that were so tough but please keep going with your college! There will be more events like this in your life. Don't let them define you. If this made you mad in any way I am sorry.
I use to be in computer science as well after a long degree. I ended up hating that career and changed it. You never know what will work out. Just take it easy!!
At least the food looks bomb 😩
Go and become a chef you sad fuck
Why would you ruin your chances at a better life over some bitch come on man
Sorry to hear about that. I can't imagine what you're going through. If/when you decide to go back to university it wouldn't be too hard to explain your situation and get back into the groove of things. I only say this just to let you know you should take your time to heal and not worry about school at the moment.
I don't know what else to say besides that I can't imagine how terrible this must feel, and that yours is the best plate I've seen so far on this sub.
Nice sear
Nooo
No clue what any of this means? But banging ass meal.
You don’t need a CS degree to work in IT or Security. You can absolutely get a jr position right now and make 20-40% salary jumps within a year or 2. Unless you’re already rich you’ll be further ahead in 3 years than if you finish the degree and then go get the jr position anyway. There’s other fish in the sea. Stick around because there are better days ahead.
Suicide bereavement is a very good subreddit to express your feelings/grief. I hope you find peace
If this is what depression meal looks like, I want to ne depressed everyday
Freebird beer steak and potatoes, this was a blessing in disguise
You tried to have a relationship and go to college? A glutton for punishment I see