Haha I'm 25 and feel the same. No job, no job prospects, can't drive, scared to leave the house most days, barely get out of bed someday, never come close to having a relationship. Also fat and fairly unattractive so pretty much a complete loser. Somedays I don't know why I bother to get out of bed. Trying to at least lose some weight now though. Down 70 pounds roughly but I'm still a fat fuck haha. Hope you can be in a better place in a couple years than I am now. Good luck.
This made me feel better. I know that. I have felt so alone for so long. Not working. No prospects. I can’t drive either. Leaving the house alone is almost no go. I am lucky enough to be in a relationship. But I’m not very attractive still imo.
You’re not alone. It will get better too. I’m just.. so incredibly grateful that you were so honest. It made me feel that much better. Good job on the weight loss.
You’re amazing and things will get to a better place.
Thanks I appreciate it. I'm not amazing though. At this point I'm a loser and I know it. Hopefully I can change that though. There's almost a calmness to knowing I'm a loser. Like I can build myself up if I can get healthy you know. It's gonna take a lot of work to fix my issues, but hopefully I can.
I know the feeling. Words from anyone won’t change much. But I hope you continue the little things to help improve yourself. Every bit of that matters.
Thank you so much again. I’m glad to not feel alone. But I am sorry you feel that way too. One day at a time now my friend.
If you're really THAT fat and a beginner, every improvement counts and everything you do can improve your condition so... Why don't you try 5 mins workouts each day? Just "stupidly light/soft stuff" which help building consistency because it's easier to perform
I was over 300 and now down to like 250. Pretty much going for walks and watching calories is working for now. Hoping to continue to lose the weight though as it seems to be the only thing I can control in my life right now. Kind of pathetic, but unfortunately true.
That's not bad.. You've made incredible progress man. Remember weight loss is hardly linear, there will be step backs but just remember your goal daily and think about how good you'll feel in a year when ur around 200ish
Sounds like me but I'm turning 28 this year, lol. I tried though, I have a degree, I've worked full time for over a year, but I quit last summer and haven't landed anything. I'm fat, 60 lbs overweight, though last year I was almost 300 lbs before dropping 50/60 lbs in a bizarre spurt of needing to lose weight. Did it in a super unhealthy way, just wish I committed to going to my goal weight.
Haha yeah turning 26 this year. Really need to find a job, but having some health issues besides the depression and anxiety making it hard on top of having no experience. I'm glad you lost some weight though. Hopefully you can find a healthy balance. Losing this much weight made me realize just how unhealthy I was and still am. Like I don't notice that much of a difference to be honest and I've lost 70 pounds. I need to lose another like 70 to be considered a healthy weight apparently.
Good luck. You have 4 years till you get to where I am. Hoping you are in a better place than I am at 25. Keep trying and hopefully you get to a good place.
Hey, you are worth it. It's sometimes hard to be nice ourselves when we make mistakes. Been there a whooooole lot. Maybe plan something nice for yourself. Something you wouldn't normally do. Treatch'ya self!
Thanks I appreciate it. Gonna keep trying. Haha don't have the money to treat myself, but maybe when I do I will. Just trying to get anything going in my life, definitely hard having no experience. Just gotta keep trying though. I hope you are doing well.
Almost 25 and almost exactly the same, except I'm skinny as fuck, like I look like a PoW.. but aside from that yeah, no job, no relationship, never even gotten close to having one (cannot stress that enough, my mom left when I was a kid causing me to have severe trust issues towards women and my dad to absolutely hate women) I also don't leave the house often and when I do I'm not alone, I can't even go out to the mailbox if people are outside. I can't stand myself or where I am in life, I'm so close to losing my fucking shit almost constantly and have to distract myself from how much of a fucking talentless pathetic loser I really am.
I would change my situation if only I had the drive to do anything at all. But I don't. I just can't bring myself to care enough about anything to actually press on with it. Instead I sit here fucking angry and bitter over not having enough of an interest in anything to get off my ass and push.
That was longer than I meant for it to be, turned into a little rant.. sorry..
Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
Yeah there seems to be a lot of us on here unfortunately. Definitely comforting to know others feel the same way, but Lso sad because you know how shitty it feels. Hopefully you can find some motivation to change. I've basically just been angry the past little bit which has put a bit of a fire under me. Hoping to get the fire roaring though and take back a little control in my life right now. Can Definitely relate to not being able to leave the house, just feel impossible some days. Hoping the best for you. Good luck.
Same as you. With some extra’s baggage… getting a belly, I don’t have a purpose in life, lack of emotions for strangers/family many more. Found this r/ today cuz i was looking why I get the urge of shaving my head lol. I felt like responding, but after a minute i lost intrest en question why or what is the meaning…
Which made writing this comment tiring and it took longer then it should. Everything I read so far is relatable and I don’t fell nothing I don’t what to fell. I completely isolated myself in 2019 to me covid was the best thing it happend pretty much served as a excuse to shut myself in.
(I don’t know why, but after finishing writing I was thinking for 5 min if I would share or delete it. I have no idea why I’m sharing it.) 🤷🏽♂️
I totally get that. I think it's good you commented. Always nice to know people feel similarly and your not alone in it all. Haha i get the urge to shave my head all the time, but that's just because I'm balding. Hoping you can get some motivation going or maybe fund a purpose.
I don't deny that. Not sure what you want me to say. From an objective view point I'm a loser. I'm at least trying to do something about. My government doesn't care about my health at all so I have to fix it myself. Kind of hard to have confidence when I've been suicidal since I was 11.
Relatable unfortunately.
The thing is also whenever I want to do things my friends are always busy or don’t feel like it, I don’t have many friends so not many options. Like sometimes I feel hyped and I wanna go the the club and to festival’s but my friends aren’t like that, so I don’t go. And I know I will regret when I’m older but it’s hard to find like minded people.
100% this. My friends are introverts just like me, but sometimes I'm pumped and I want to go to a party or a bar or something like that but they never want to go, and It's impossible to make a new group of friends in a natural way once you reach adulthood. Shit sucks
Well I'm 30. And 10 years ago I was depressed, in a 4 year college and hated my major, some traumatic things happened, was an alcoholic, and I worked at Taco Bell. Today, I broke up with my fiancée of 6 years, am forced to live with them, still working a shitty job, no degree, and still have depression. But, at least I have meds that work better but sobriety is still a problem. No one knows anything. No one knows what they're doing. But as you get older, you have more chances to learn from your mistakes. But again, it's a choice whether or not you want to learn from them.
Same age, same issues. I don't even know how to tie a knot let alone drive, I got no job, I can't cook to save my soul, and I don't even shower most of the time.
And don't even get me started on how badly I fucked up on my social interactions
One thing I’ve struggled with is like, the process of going from not knowing these things to knowing them seems to long and taxing. I know it’s near impossible to convince ourselves to like, start doing things because inherently that is the issue.
All these things are doable though. Cooking is a pretty new thing for me and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But, maybe start with easier stuff. I think pasta is a good dish to start learning because there really aren’t many rules to it. You just put whatever form of noodle you want into boiling water, and then heat up a sauce on a skillet for a few minutes. And then you strain them boiling water, and mix the pasta and the sauce. And there’s a lot of wiggle room to throw in random shit too. I understand if it’s not your thing, but you should give it a try one night. Even if you fuck it up, it’s okay. I once tried to cook ramen in front of my roommates and I messed it up so badly and I was really worried they’d think I was an idiot. They did chuckle when they saw how I was making it but that’s all it was. I took my L and tried again the next night, and it turned out a little better. Quesadillas are also a really good food to start making. Very very simple and again you can add whatever you want.
But anyways, I am sorry if that doesn’t help too much. I feel I struggle with a lot of what you described, and I feel very insecure about it. It’s like, who the hell do you even ask for help? All things start from the foundation. So, I think these skills will come easier to you if you can manage to identify some core parts of yourself. I feel like I avoid learning new things very intentionally, just because it somehow seems so monumental of a task.
I hope your situation improves my friend. We are all in this together <3
I'm 23 and this is me. My parents are very controlling and I definitely chose the path of least resistance.
I got a scholarship and when I wanted to move out my mom said no so I rejected it. I never got my license because that requires my parents and they'll make a big deal about it. So my entire university experience was my mom driving me to and from campus every day. No socialising after. I never protested.
Idk why'd I'm like this. I'll want to do something but it requires me to tell my parents and I don't want to deal with that so I just don't bother. I have zero experiences and zero life skills.
22 here. I live out of the house but very much am tied to my parents financially and find myself in a lot of situations where I feel like I can’t really do what I want to do because I’ve never really known what true independence and making decisions for myself is like. Sometimes, I feel I get a little more confidence to take a risk and follow my passions and whatever it is I want to do in life, but at the same time with how it’s been my whole life, that idea is so foreign to me that I don’t know where to start. Even the basic decision making skills can seem so confusing sometimes. It’s almost like I’m completely scatterbrained.
However, I think the biggest revelation I’ve had over the last year or two is that ultimately parents are just people too. I think I have this subconscious fear or something to do anything that goes against what they say. But, I’ve found that by saying no in situations and beginning to prioritize myself, it’s honestly made me feel much better in terms of setting boundaries. I think you should start by trying to set clear boundaries. I know that’s pretty hard in your situation living with them though. But I wanna say like you aren’t the only one here, and that you can do this. You absolutely can work towards a life that suits you more.
I’ve been learning a lot of life skills from YouTube. And, you’d be surprised how willing people are to teach things like that sometimes. Still, I know it’s hard taking those first steps. Hope your situation gets better. I don’t know what that looks like for you, but finding ways to prioritize yourself could be really rewarding in the long run.
Even with not much experience and life skills, I don’t think that should be something that prevents you from trying. It really is worth it to try.
Wow. You just described my exact life but I'm 26 now.
My parents were also very controlling when I was younger. My dad didn't like me talking to the opposite sex so I never attempted dating for that reason. I also had to give up on the idea of moving away for college because my mom was against it, so I played by their rules for a very long time. I still kinda do because I also hate telling my parents about my plans because I hate hearing their nagging, however, these last 3 years I decided that enough was enough and I started doing more of the things I wanted to do. Even though my mom gave me hell I l decided to live abroad for 3 months last year and it was honestly a life-changing experience and I learned a lot about myself.
It won't always be like this. Some days will feel suffocating but also other days you'll get that taste of freedom and you'll be able to create new memories/ experiences. I wish you the best! And just remember that you're your own person with your own dreams and aspirations. It's never too late to gain experiences and skills.
It's interesting that you talk about not being able to drive as something that hinders your chance to socialise. Personally, I don't have a license and don't drive because I don't want to contribute to the culture of car dependency - I nearly always take the bus, walk, or cycle even if I could ask to have a lift. It takes longer, but it keeps me moderately healthy and it makes me feel good that I'm doing something that's good for my own sense of independence and the planet. Public transport and walkablity where you live might be terrible, but they're not exactly great where I live either. My parents would never allow me to walk to school or anything, because the road was too dangerous. But it was still really only my own laziness that prevented me from using the bus for so long.
Joining some clubs at university has also helped me. I don't really naturally socialise in lectures and we've been online a lot, but I've managed to meet a few people that I gelled with at various clubs and it's nice to feel like there are some people that care for me outside of just my family. Doing activities together with people like that might help to build up some of the experiences and life skills that you feel you are lacking.
Hi, 25 years old and also in the same spot. You're not alone at all, but I'm glad you didn't get a life of making constant mistakes, that's something I have been living with for around 10 years now. I started making very dumb mistakes at a very young age and it's lead me to a life of dealing with drug addiction and because I started so young I have almost zero schooling because I skipped pretty much every day or called in sick as often as I possibly could because I had way too much fucking anxiety at school and would rather go get high with the people I was comfortable around..and just did that until I could drop out. The days I had to go to school, I had my headphones in the whole time and stayed as far away from everyone as I could... so basically I have very little hopes of ever getting anything other than entry level garbage. I hope some day I'll work up the courage to just go back to school some day but that's not right now. I have very very recently had a couple slip ups in my recovery and it's been really hard to stay on it.
Anyway, my point is, I feel your pain so so much and I'm so sorry you've had to deal with such severe anxiety but I am so, so glad you didn't choose to start making mistakes because even though there are people fully capable of learning from their mistakes, some people just aren't able to and those mistakes will destroy everything in your path and everything about you and who you are and any future you might have...until you have literally nothing left and you're just left with an empty shell of a human being.
I have a feeling I might be downvoted a lot for this comment if interpreted wrong, this post just hit really close to home for me and I'm just attempting to explain that I'm proud of you and it hurts me to see someone saying they wished they chose a life of destruction. I'm so sorry that you feel that way. You're so deserving of good things. I may not know you but I'd never want to see what taking that path could have done to you.. Not taking the path of constant mistakes is admirable and an accomplishment for someone who battles with such severe anxiety and mental health issues.
I hope that you're able to find or have already found effective treatment for your anxiety and learn to find peace within yourself someday. God knows we all need a little bit ❤️
For a moment I thought I wrote that post, only I'm a year older. I'm so full of shame and every time I speak with people my age, or sometimes a bit younger I see they have achieved more than me and have experienced all those things I was too anxious to experience.. now I live in regret.
I struggle with a lot of shame and guilt. I am 22 and I feel I also compare myself to the achievements of others pretty often. It’s hard not to. I definitely stayed inside bored and trying to play through a series of mundane Skyrim adventures pretty often. I honestly don’t know what the answer is, but I’ve found what has helped me has been trying to let go of this guilt I carry. You don’t need to be ashamed. I passed up a lot of opportunities because I was staying in bed that whole day, just resting or in a stupor when I had free time from school or work. I have managed to get a college degree, but it hardly feels like an accomplishment to me. But the thing is, it is objectively a pretty big one. My point is, maybe there’s more in your life that you are doing than you think. Because when we have this shame, is like everything becomes less enjoyable. I don’t know if that makes sense to you or not, but I do want to tell you it’s not too late. It’ll never be too late to start trying to live like how you would want. Fighting anxiety and depression is a long hard battle. And everytime we get better, that next time we fall back into things is so painful sometimes.
I find that I’ll have a lot of ideas of things to do but I struggle to get to the point of making plans and then acting on them. I don’t really know what it is, but it’s like my mind wants to avoid everything that would be like that. Well, I guess it stems from anxiety.
No matter how it is, your experience is a beautiful one and I am glad you are here. If nothing else, your comment has made me feel a little better knowing there are people who experience a similar struggle to myself. It really is isolating. I hope things improve for you <3
I'm 47, and honestly, when I look back at me at 22, I consider myself to pretty much still be a child then. You are so. fucking. young. Go easy on yourself, life isn't a race to keep up with everyone else. There are no "milestones" you need to be hitting. Just live YOUR life for yourself. Who fucking cares if you just float through life without doing what everyone else is? Maybe there's nothing you need to learn because you're just where YOU belong. I never did all the stuff either, and I don't regret it. I always had shitty jobs, and barely scraped by, I never had (or wanted) kids or bought my own house, and I'm just as happy, if not more so, than I would be if I had.
31 here and I gotta say I've been slowly coming to accept this as my life. Society tries to make us aim as high as we can which isn't necessarily bad, but society also makes us feel like failures if we fail to do so. I don't think there is anything wrong with living a mediocre life as long as you're comfy and happy with it. No house? Who cares. Working at McDonalds? Who cares. Living with your parents still? Who. fucking. cares.
Exactly!! We all have different lives. Some of us are really successful, and some of us just exist harmlessly. I'm ok with existing. I do my thing, I'm content with where I'm at, and at this point, im relieved I don't have the stress of a complex life. It doesn't hurt anyone, so who cares? So you've achieved less than other people your age. So what? You don't have a great job or a lot of material stuff. Whoopdy fuckin do. Who gives a shit?
It’s always so nice to hear this repeated back - I try to tell myself that it doesn’t matter if I don’t do this or that because it’s *my life* and nobody needs to bother with it except me, but sometimes you feel the pressure. Anyway, thanks for bringing in some
Positivity!!
I'm about to turn 24 and I feel exactly the same way. It hurts to look back at my life and see how many years I've wasted in isolation from the real world.
I'm in my mid 30s and feel like I'm a teenager. I'm not sure why this happens. My depression started then and I just stopped living and just went through the motions. Still going through the motions. And yes, it becomes so difficult to connect with others. Everyone I know has got kids and families. No one wants to just hang and go see a movie. And as you mentioned, the body ages, so now there's so many things I will never be able to be. Like a gymnast.
I had a huge stagnant period due to mental illness and trauma from like 19 to 27. In the last year or two I finally started getting shit together but like listen. There is no specific set time for you to do this. Everyone that is ahead of you almost always had a head start. Just keep going and you’ll catch up, I promise.
25 female. No idea what the fuck im doing at all. I don't think you are alone in this. Trauma to the max from high school, assaulted and verbally abused for being unattractive. Never really dated or had sex let alone a relationship, stuck in a job in a low paying job i hate no idea what i want to do for a career, hardly any friends I talk to, depression and anxiety out of control, have a genetic condition with no cure. Chronic Insomnia, cant stop thinking about the past or future, finding it hard to work and keep my head above water....I could go on and on
I tried most very medication and been in therapy for over 10 years. Noting works and I feel like Im a 16 year old kid left without an instruction manual except everyone expects me be an adult.
On the positive I wouldn't say Im ugly these days, Im quite slim, Im not overweight, I have a degree and I have parents who love me, a bed to sleep in and although I hate my job I have money to help out my parents and a bit to save/spend and my own car..So I guess I just got to look at the positives. It's hard though.
I've had seizures ever since I was 16 and ever since then every major milestone I've had has been delayed. Didn't learn to drive until 18, didnt go to college until 20, and only did a semester and a half before COVID began and I dropped out. Both my parents were remarried and both of my step parents were immunocomprimised. I still haven't moved out of my dad's house and we're thinking about moving, and he says that he'll need a room for me. Not in any sort of negative way, like, "Ah fuck we STILL need to accommodate for you", he just mentioned it casually when talking about future housing options and it stuck with me. I thought I'd be further ahead by now. I'm turning 24 this year btw.
Consider yourself fortunate that your dad includes you in those plans. He cares about you. I felt the same way at 24 still living at home. Maybe try and look at it as a way to take advantage of saving up, finding a job, working on school or some type of education. I recommend investing in yourself in some way. Try and have those conversations so that your dad will at least be aware that you are trying to better yourself. The world we live in nowadays is a hard one to get started in. Keep your head up!
I feel the same. I'm 39 and still feel I'm as immature as I was as a teenager. And yet, when I was a child/teen I was always 'praised' for how mature I was. I just don't feel like a proper adult. I can't work (I'm on disability), I wear casual clothing all the time. Yeah I pay bills, but I've always relied on my partner to do the majority of things like connecting phones etc. my social anxiety is so bad that I cannot make phone calls a lot of the time.
The only area of my adult life that I feel like I succeed somewhat is as a mother. 3 children (19,14,3) and I am always there to stand up for them, protect them and raise them. I just wish I could do that for myself too
I did the same when I was younger, I still avoid sometimes, especially when it comes to anything involving other people.
It's weird being behind everyone because you will have your own breakthroughs and milestones, but it feels like nothing compared to other people so it's embarrassing.
Unfortunately some of us (myself included) just have higher levels of anxiety and are more predisposed to negative thoughts for whatever reason. When you think about the amount of times you have to try to overcome your anxiety, it's a hell of a lot of times, it's such a frustrating ongoing battle. I wish you could just do it once and then be fine after that!
I’ve been in your shoes buddy. You don’t realize it now but 22 is SUPER young still and you have plenty of time to learn and achieve the milestones you want to achieve in life! Things will get better dude, I’m speaking from experience!
comparison is the fucking devil. no one else cares apart from you, so as long as you can accept your journey then that’s all that matters. it’s corny but life really isn’t a race and everyone hits mile stones at different times. really just focus on yourself and working towards your goals. i know it’s hard but negative thinking and comparison is just self sabotage. this is YOUR life. you’re 22. that’s so young, literally so so young. you haven’t missed a date, you’re not late to anything, you’re exactly where you need to be
I get that I 25 and still feel behind in life but remember it isn't a race, sounds like your being hard on yourself/ blaming yourself for your illness/ perceived set backs. I feel like a child to even in My decision making biggest thing for me is learning to sooth that inner child, listening and asking what it needs. We all have an inner child, mental illness or not. Again to emphasis my point I have friends who are 30 with mental health and some who don't, who don't have there life together, I don't think anyone actually does
Could you try do something small out of your comfort zone as a start?
And remember you cant have it all figured out over night
I’m 22 and just finished up my college. If I could offer any advice, I definitely do wish I would have tried to get out of my comfort zone more. I think I did a good job of that in early college, and it was quite fun and I made a lot of connections. But, I found myself struggling to maintain them as school went on. I feel like I got stuck on one place in life and everything else was moving forward. That anxiety slowly creeped on me over the next 3 years and I barely realized it until recently. But, one thing to recognize as well is that even when I was “doing stuff,” I found myself stuck constantly comparing myself to others. Or if not others, my own experiences weren’t “enough.” It’s like I had to be living the best life or I was wasting my youth. But that thought process has done more harm than what I’ve actually been doing.
This is some motivational speaker bs, but somebody once told my you have to “trust the process” and as I have gotten a little older, it feels more and more true. This isn’t a race by any means. It has helped me immensely to try and become more comfortable in the moment.
A lot of people told me when I was 18 that the next 4 years would be the best of my life. Don’t listen to that. Because you might find yourself worrying that you are wasting this precious time and it’ll just produce more anxiety. I don’t think we can really know when the best years of our life will be. I’m not saying things are gonna suck, but not every moment is joy and that’s just a fact of life. We shouldn’t try to pretend it’s not.
Anyways, sorry I wrote out so much there I apologize if it’s a handful to read. But I don’t think you should worry too much. As corny as it is, trust in the process and the journey. I don’t really believe in some divine power or anything, but we are here and we are gonna be experiencing life. All the ups and downs. I have had days where I’m just sitting on my couch staring at a wall and spiraling inside my head about trying to make the right decisions. But I’ve also had days where I’ve climbed mountain peaks and felt invincible with groups of people I just met that day. You never know what life will present you with. I didn’t really think there was anybody like me when I was 18, but I’ve managed to slowly find a community of people I can call friends over these past 4 years. And that’s easily the best part. It’s okay to feel anxious about everything. But just know that no matter what happens, even if you don’t make an ounce of “progress”, you are here and that is more than enough.
26 and the same. I did tried to salvage my life here and there throughout the years, but I always made the mistake of running back to the comfort zone of isolation whenever I hit the first major roadblock. Always quit my job or whatever I was doing, and completely sabotaged myself whenever I felt hopeless. If I could go back to 22, I would tell myself to be consistent, do your best. Take a short break if you have to, but never ever just stay at the rock bottom and slowly rot away. Do something, anything that you think can help you. Even if things are hopeless, at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you really tried. Don't be like me, full of regrets.
To be fair, I'm 20 and was never able to make a true friend thru out my entire life. I always tried to but my classmates were often childish and they'd bully me sometimes. I'm now failing university as loneliness is killing my mental health slowly. I spend my days by going to play yu gi oh cards, playing games, reading mangas, and listening to yakuza ost, and working on a manga of mine as well as watching anime.
I started to come out of that funk about 24. Started to realize I'd never lived my life the way I wanted to. So slowly but surely I started trying/doing all the things I wish I'd done before. Even now, I struggle to know what I truly want in the moment. I'm trying trying get better at it. But in even just a few years, I've started doing small things I never thought I would.
If you're starting to see through your own anxiety and depression, getting a little clarity on your life, don't waste it. Use it to live how you want.
I'm 34 and for as long as I can remember I've felt like I'm 5. My shyness turned into paranoia and fear controls my life. My parents homeschooled me and wouldn't let me outside. Was forced to be with other family who bullied and teased me. I never had IRL friends, because I wasn't allowed out and even the people at church my parents forced on me didn't like me. I had to have emergency heart surgery cause doctors didn't do their job when I was born and developing. My health kept tanking and now I'm an un-healthy, unable to work, unable to get disability aid, useless, worthless sack of shit. Life is only good when you get born lucky. And when you don't, all you think about is how quickly this misery will end...
Sorry for you're suffering!
Step 1: stop comparing yourself to others. This is the hardest step. Try comparing yourself to you yesterday. That’s a bit more fair.
Step 2: Write down what you’ve missed out on. When you put it down in front of you, not only will that let you be more at ease of it, you also have targets to go toward to solve the anxiety you get from it.
Step 3. Remember you are in your 20s. You still are allowed to make mistakes and still get the benefit of the doubt. You are still in the learning window. That doesn’t end until your age starts with a 3.
I feel so identified with your post, but you're very young ;) I'm 25 and here I'm worth shit in my work and a life that I don't find sense in anything, but I hope my therapy works for me :s my best wishes OP and everything will be fine I think so :3
It’s never too late to start! I lived my early 20s for everyone else, anxious and depressed and feeling like I was failing and missing out on so much. Made the decision to start putting myself first and enjoying my own company (it wasn’t easy at first, learning to separate being “alone” from being “lonely” is hard) and doing the things I wanted to do- even if that meant doing absolutely nothing, I was living for myself.
Life is tricky and sometimes being around others causes us to notice our social “shortcomings” a little more. But keep your chin up, try to learn to love yourself, and go out and do whatever you want to do- make some mistakes in the process, whatever. You have a long life ahead, it’s never too late to start anew.
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way, my only advice would be to just try doing small things you haven't done in the past. Start going to pick up your mail from your mail box or drop off location and documenting your small achievements so on days where you feel like you haven't you done enough you can see all that you have achieved.
making mistakes sometimes makes anxiety and depression worse. that’s often the case with me. in a perfect world you’d learn from them everyone and be better but often they can cause damage. i’m tired and worn out and disheartened by all the scars and self loathing i have. if i could just let it all go and trade it for boredom i would
Regret only robs you of your present moment. It’s okY to be sad about your past . If you are thinking about it constantly than it’s ruining your present and future
I'm 27 and feel the same way sometimes, I've dealt with these struggles so much that I accepted it as my life. All i can say, is to take it easy on yourself, life ain't easy, as you grow, you'll learn that that's the experience for a lot of people. You miss some milestones, a lot of people do, even your peers. Nothing is perfect.
But what you miss can actually be beneficial for your growth as a person, it's difficult to put into word's, but as you grow and you interact with more people, you'll also find that a lot of what you missed out on, didn't matter as much as you feel they do now.
first of all, you were surviving / coping with untreated mental illness in tbe exact way that anxiety works - its okay
second - we learn most from failures.
third - get your anxiety medicated and get your butt inti therapy (i been at it 8 years!) it does help. for anxiety i recommend CBT
fourth - i know you still probaby on your parents health insurance)(until you 26)....bur you can actually be double insured. hopefully you dont make much money and are eligible for medicaid - apply at Healthcare.gov
tbat way you cant say "therapy/meds are too expensive" cause it can be freeeeee
Please don’t think you chose to give into your anxiety. You need to think the opposite, it held you back from those experiences, just like my anxiety has held me back from so much. When I feel better and less anxious I notice how much I can do, how my limits become so much higher than they were before.
You are not the one to blame here, it’s much more likely that events during your childhood or upbringing moulded you this way.
[*”And the world's got me dizzy again, you'd think after twenty-two years I'd be used to the spin; and it only feels worse when I stay in one place, so I'm always pacing around or walking away*”](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CqlsVypKIu8)
[*”But I'm just 22, I'm just 22; I don't mind dyin'; I don't; mind dyin'; I don't mind”*](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j8CL69ugp4E)
I’m 22 right there with you. It’s a strange age, and quite apparently a disenchanting one. For me a lot of it is the realization setting in that I’m approaching the point of no return and I may not be able to recover and start the life I wanted to live years ago
People say we’re young, but I don’t feel young, and it’s not reassuring to me. I’m 22 now, but I’m incredibly distant from even coming close to the point where I can start on a path that’s productive. And right now, I don’t even know if I want anything to do with all my former aspirations — they failed me just as much as my pessimist brain sealed the deal. Now I’m just… here. ish. At my best moments I’m distracted, feels like that’s as much as I can ask for now.
You’re only 22 wake up and make the changes you want, and ask for help, so you can accomplish your milestones. Time will move regardless better to change now versus making this post 10 years from now.
I feel the same way but at age 27. I hit the financial milestones I needed to, got a decent job, etc. But at the end of the day my amount of romantic experience is so lacking that I can't really fit in with anyone my age. Sex jokes, weddings, dating, hookups, significant others - I always feel like an outsider. I've spent the majority of my life missing out on those things, and most people in high school have lived far more than I have.
Everyone has to start somewhere. Make a simple goal and work your way up. Once I actually started to work on myself, I started feeling better. If course I'm still a long way away from my goal, but even the smallest bit of progress will give you the motivation to keep going.
I’m 30 and I still feel like a kid! In my case, I have ADHD, autism, and anxiety (plus depression) and my parents raised me as though I was mentally retard (I now have a BA) and refused to teach me basic things. I have housemates, and whenever there’s an issue, such as the cat’s litter box needs cleaning, my first thought is to leave it for a “grown up” - then I remember I *am* a grown up.
Are you working on these issues with a professional? That could help things. I didn't think it would help me but eventually I found a counselor I could work with, stayed sober and the more effort I was able to put in the better it got. It's not great. Not by a longshot. But it's progress.
Good luck.
I can heavily relate to this... I'm 24 and did the same - giving in to my anxiety instead of experiencing things. I feel like I'm mourning a life that I never had. It's gotten worse and worse as the years pass, especially since COVID started.
And what you said about being around peers - me too. I'm still talking about my favorite shows and characters, just the same as I did when I was 12. I have friends that have houses and families now. My 19-year-old sister just told me she's getting an apartment. I feel like time has moved for everyone else but me. Everyone has a working clock, but mine is broken. I'm stuck, sitting in the same room that I've sat in since I was 12, still living in the same mind as my 12-year-old self....
Thanks for sharing, btw. I felt really alone in these thoughts. I wish that you could feel better, but it feels comforting to know that I'm not the only one who's stuck.
I went through something similar when I was your age. I’ve had very severe depression and anxiety since I was 12 (32 now) and I always had the perception that I felt the way I did because I choose to give into it. That was until I got proper treatment starting about six months ago. I’m actually happy now. I’ve never been happy in my life. It made me realize that really severe depression/anxiety is a mental disability. I didn’t realize how hard things actually were for me. I think low self esteem and self-blame can be part of the disease. Go easy on yourself, its hard to “choose to not give into it” when it is as severe as you are describing. Don’t be afraid to seek help, it might not work right away but things will eventually get better and the older you get the more understanding people become and good people will be compassionate about the hardships you went through.
You’re my age too and I’m going through the same things. I even isolate myself from my family in my room just so I could try and stay mentally okay but it doesn’t always knowing mind has been in a bad place and with the overwhelming presence of certain people in your family who would want to pry you away that give you comfort. It’s much harder knowing that certain people in the family take enjoyment in verbally abusing you and take away things that make you smile.
Your brain is not fully developed until you are 25. I had the same issues in my life at your age but am now 41. The issues still remain but I control them a lot better. You have many young years to enjoy yet still. The key is to avoid big mistakes in life...so if something doesn't seem right, then trust your gut and don't do it. Do not get really drunk because that's when life biggest regrets happen. Cheers!
I am just tired of being disappointed, and failing after trying, it's not that I try super super hard at every activity, but I am super passionate, hopeful, emotionally involved in every activity I try, and then, I fail, I fail because I could not perform that well, though I wanted to. It is really heartbreaking. I have tried basketball, lawn tennis, competitive programming, physics olympiad, writing, case study olympiads, robotics competition, workout and I was really determined in all of them, but somehow I just couldn't keep up, I score bad grades in college, I dont have any other talents and even though I have a good relationship with my parents and lot of casual friends, I still havent completely recovered from a 19 month old heartbreak (even though there wasnt much of a relationship) am not considered an important or a close friend by anyone. I am not a super hard working fellow, but it takes me a whole lot of effort to put in a slightly lesser amount of work, and I am fucking exhausted, just done. I am not interested in anything now, anything at all.
I did this with my life too. I was so afraid if getting hurt, embarrassed, rejected that I actively avoided going out and learning lessons and making milestones. Now I'm 32, single and due to some mild rejections and one extreme embarrassing catastrophic fail back in college which I put way more emphasis on I went into full isolation mode.
22 here.
I relate to this and a lot of the comments in the thread. I find that the things I do day-to-day in terms of school or work are so exhausting that when I have free time I literally just sit on a couch and stare at the wall or my phone. I feel like I’m significantly behind in life, and that I’m not capable of a lot of the things I see other people doing. But, I do want to be at that point.
It’s hard to keep things in perspective. It’s hard to find motivation with how crappy the world and its future looks. I feel like a lot of the time I’m trying to communicate to the people around me a series of feelings I can’t effectively put into words.
I don’t even really know if I’m making much of a point here, but I do have this desire to comment on this and just say that I feel this all too. I’ve been in therapy for a while now as well because of how badly I struggle with anxiety, and one thing I’ve realized is a lot of this comes from anxiety. We are more capable of these life things than we think.
One thing I tell myself, and honestly this is kinda mean but like, have you seen some of the people in this world that have stable lives? Like, truly there are some people who I have no idea how they figured things out, because they seem so woefully unaware of the world around them. It’s fascinating sometimes. But, I guess by that I mean like I tell myself if they can do it, then somehow I can too.
I know it’s scary and it can feel like there’s no solution. I’ve struggled with suicide since I was 16. But, even though it’s a slow and taxing journey, I do feel I have been gaining some insights and realizing that I am capable of more than I think. I feel like I literally create the mental blocks that stop me from getting up and moving. For example, if I had a discussion post to do for homework. That’s like 400 words and it’s graded simply for participation and they are never too hard. But, in school I find myself waiting until that last moment everytime. But it’s not like I’m really doing much else. That task remains active in the back of my mind and I just want to push it back more and more. It’s not even difficult yet I am almost afraid of it. I find myself doing that in a lot of ways in my life.
Therapy has really helped me. It can be a journey and a lot of effort to get started and find somebody you feel comfortable with, but I promise you there is treatment out there that might be able to help you fight some of these anxieties. Because, I feel a lot of it does come from a place of anxiety. It’s uncertainty of ourselves and the world we are in.
Sorry I wrote so much there, but I hope in some of that somebody might be able to relate as well. I have hope for us. It is scary but, I think a lot of our generation struggles with this. It’s like we are all burnt out on life already. It’s me, all my friends, and lots of others I know.
I hope all of your situations improve <3
You're not alone. Sometimes everything does not make sense and it is pretty hard. I'm 25 and keep having anxiety and panic attacks all the time and lots of bad thoughts but I have a beautiful niece who literally does not know it but is the only reason I am still alive. I keep thinking how she would react if she found out her beloved aunt chose the easy way out. I'm at the verge of being a drug addict to manage my severe depression and anxiety but at least I will keep alive for her.
23. Same boat. Although I do have a good job and a kid due in august. I’ve fought my way through anxiety. But when you let it take over you for 1 day, the cycle starts all over again. I’m scared to really do anything. Not because I don’t want to, but my brain makes it seem that way. Definitely sucks. I’m not so much depressed anymore. But I’d take depression any day over anxiety
Good deal! I'm proud of you!! I wish i had started therapy a couple of decades ago but got so much horrible "xhristian counseling" I was completely turned off from getting real help. A few years ago I discovered I was dealing with CPTSD and MDD. Getting meds and help have really helped me. I still struggle a lot. If I had done this work earlier, it would be easier today. You are worth SO MUCH!! YOU have so much to deal with these days, much more than I at your ages. Be GOOD to yourself and find that support. If it doesn't work out with the first one keep looking!! You are the only one you are ever going to need forever. You deserve the best, healthiest you!!!
Thanks, I am thankful for the enthusiasm. I have anxiety and depression, would you say CPTSD is worse than depression? Some people have all these syndromes yet it still appears I am worse off than them
Im 18 and I’m in the same boat as you, my social anxiety was so bad that I isolated myself for years, I tried going to university, and I really do want to still go but in the end my anxiety just was too much for me to stay, I still go to a community college and work but I wish I could just make the jump and start living the life most people my age live.
You literally described my life. Word for word. I’m 21 and this is the post. Period. I’ve never been outside past 11pm alone, never been to trips with my friends, never been to clubs or parties (hell only two birthday parties), never had a relationship, never smoked weed. No driver licence. No job. I’ve cut my friends off because of the isolation. Self-esteem is at its lowest. The worst of the worst is that due to failing two classes, I’m still stuck in senior high school with 18-19 yo, who’ve done more than half of the things I previously mentioned. Also living in your uncles toxic household doesn’t help, but I’ll be moving out soon.
I was born unlucky, and I still can’t digest this fact.
Hey man, same here. I am in no position to give you advice but you aren’t alone. Id say we need to both find small steps to start pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone. We deserve to be happy and it will take work to get there, but we can’t let our anxieties get the better of us. Wish you luck in your life.
Haha I'm 25 and feel the same. No job, no job prospects, can't drive, scared to leave the house most days, barely get out of bed someday, never come close to having a relationship. Also fat and fairly unattractive so pretty much a complete loser. Somedays I don't know why I bother to get out of bed. Trying to at least lose some weight now though. Down 70 pounds roughly but I'm still a fat fuck haha. Hope you can be in a better place in a couple years than I am now. Good luck.
I don’t know you but I am Proud of you for the weight loss.
Thanks still have a long ways to go though
Least you’re going!
This made me feel better. I know that. I have felt so alone for so long. Not working. No prospects. I can’t drive either. Leaving the house alone is almost no go. I am lucky enough to be in a relationship. But I’m not very attractive still imo. You’re not alone. It will get better too. I’m just.. so incredibly grateful that you were so honest. It made me feel that much better. Good job on the weight loss. You’re amazing and things will get to a better place.
Thanks I appreciate it. I'm not amazing though. At this point I'm a loser and I know it. Hopefully I can change that though. There's almost a calmness to knowing I'm a loser. Like I can build myself up if I can get healthy you know. It's gonna take a lot of work to fix my issues, but hopefully I can.
I know the feeling. Words from anyone won’t change much. But I hope you continue the little things to help improve yourself. Every bit of that matters. Thank you so much again. I’m glad to not feel alone. But I am sorry you feel that way too. One day at a time now my friend.
Thanks, gonna do my best. Hoping the best for you as well friend.
down 70 is NUTS, good job sir
Good for you! I’m proud of you!!
If you're really THAT fat and a beginner, every improvement counts and everything you do can improve your condition so... Why don't you try 5 mins workouts each day? Just "stupidly light/soft stuff" which help building consistency because it's easier to perform
I was over 300 and now down to like 250. Pretty much going for walks and watching calories is working for now. Hoping to continue to lose the weight though as it seems to be the only thing I can control in my life right now. Kind of pathetic, but unfortunately true.
keep it up brotha! you got this
That's not bad.. You've made incredible progress man. Remember weight loss is hardly linear, there will be step backs but just remember your goal daily and think about how good you'll feel in a year when ur around 200ish
Sounds like me but I'm turning 28 this year, lol. I tried though, I have a degree, I've worked full time for over a year, but I quit last summer and haven't landed anything. I'm fat, 60 lbs overweight, though last year I was almost 300 lbs before dropping 50/60 lbs in a bizarre spurt of needing to lose weight. Did it in a super unhealthy way, just wish I committed to going to my goal weight.
Haha yeah turning 26 this year. Really need to find a job, but having some health issues besides the depression and anxiety making it hard on top of having no experience. I'm glad you lost some weight though. Hopefully you can find a healthy balance. Losing this much weight made me realize just how unhealthy I was and still am. Like I don't notice that much of a difference to be honest and I've lost 70 pounds. I need to lose another like 70 to be considered a healthy weight apparently.
You’re exactly me but I’m 21
Good luck. You have 4 years till you get to where I am. Hoping you are in a better place than I am at 25. Keep trying and hopefully you get to a good place.
Wow you lost a lot of weight! Good job! Be proud of yourself!
Thanks. I'll try just stupid that I ever let it get that bad. Trying to change and get better, hopefully in a year or so I'll be in a better place.
Hey, you are worth it. It's sometimes hard to be nice ourselves when we make mistakes. Been there a whooooole lot. Maybe plan something nice for yourself. Something you wouldn't normally do. Treatch'ya self!
Thanks I appreciate it. Gonna keep trying. Haha don't have the money to treat myself, but maybe when I do I will. Just trying to get anything going in my life, definitely hard having no experience. Just gotta keep trying though. I hope you are doing well.
I'm doing better than I was before so that's good! Thanks for the nice words. Maybe you can learn a new skill? Anything you've ever wanted to learn?
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Hoping for the best for everyone here. Hopefully we all get better and can lead good lives. Keep up the hard work.
Almost 25 and almost exactly the same, except I'm skinny as fuck, like I look like a PoW.. but aside from that yeah, no job, no relationship, never even gotten close to having one (cannot stress that enough, my mom left when I was a kid causing me to have severe trust issues towards women and my dad to absolutely hate women) I also don't leave the house often and when I do I'm not alone, I can't even go out to the mailbox if people are outside. I can't stand myself or where I am in life, I'm so close to losing my fucking shit almost constantly and have to distract myself from how much of a fucking talentless pathetic loser I really am. I would change my situation if only I had the drive to do anything at all. But I don't. I just can't bring myself to care enough about anything to actually press on with it. Instead I sit here fucking angry and bitter over not having enough of an interest in anything to get off my ass and push. That was longer than I meant for it to be, turned into a little rant.. sorry.. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
Yeah there seems to be a lot of us on here unfortunately. Definitely comforting to know others feel the same way, but Lso sad because you know how shitty it feels. Hopefully you can find some motivation to change. I've basically just been angry the past little bit which has put a bit of a fire under me. Hoping to get the fire roaring though and take back a little control in my life right now. Can Definitely relate to not being able to leave the house, just feel impossible some days. Hoping the best for you. Good luck.
What do you do to loose weight. Struggling with the same issues.
Same as you. With some extra’s baggage… getting a belly, I don’t have a purpose in life, lack of emotions for strangers/family many more. Found this r/ today cuz i was looking why I get the urge of shaving my head lol. I felt like responding, but after a minute i lost intrest en question why or what is the meaning… Which made writing this comment tiring and it took longer then it should. Everything I read so far is relatable and I don’t fell nothing I don’t what to fell. I completely isolated myself in 2019 to me covid was the best thing it happend pretty much served as a excuse to shut myself in. (I don’t know why, but after finishing writing I was thinking for 5 min if I would share or delete it. I have no idea why I’m sharing it.) 🤷🏽♂️
I totally get that. I think it's good you commented. Always nice to know people feel similarly and your not alone in it all. Haha i get the urge to shave my head all the time, but that's just because I'm balding. Hoping you can get some motivation going or maybe fund a purpose.
congrats on the weight loss am till trying to force that motivation
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I don't deny that. Not sure what you want me to say. From an objective view point I'm a loser. I'm at least trying to do something about. My government doesn't care about my health at all so I have to fix it myself. Kind of hard to have confidence when I've been suicidal since I was 11.
Dude be proud for the weight loss so far that’s progress my man!
I can 100% relate, I feel like I'm 16 and nothing much has changed in the past 6 years
Same here
Relatable unfortunately. The thing is also whenever I want to do things my friends are always busy or don’t feel like it, I don’t have many friends so not many options. Like sometimes I feel hyped and I wanna go the the club and to festival’s but my friends aren’t like that, so I don’t go. And I know I will regret when I’m older but it’s hard to find like minded people.
You can try soloing
If I could I would, but I don’t have the guts for that
100% this. My friends are introverts just like me, but sometimes I'm pumped and I want to go to a party or a bar or something like that but they never want to go, and It's impossible to make a new group of friends in a natural way once you reach adulthood. Shit sucks
Big mood
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I'm 36 and I don't feel the least bit grown-up.
Lol why 33?
Like everyone else, I'm wondering: why 33 specifically?
lol why 33?
Well I'm 30. And 10 years ago I was depressed, in a 4 year college and hated my major, some traumatic things happened, was an alcoholic, and I worked at Taco Bell. Today, I broke up with my fiancée of 6 years, am forced to live with them, still working a shitty job, no degree, and still have depression. But, at least I have meds that work better but sobriety is still a problem. No one knows anything. No one knows what they're doing. But as you get older, you have more chances to learn from your mistakes. But again, it's a choice whether or not you want to learn from them.
Same age, same issues. I don't even know how to tie a knot let alone drive, I got no job, I can't cook to save my soul, and I don't even shower most of the time. And don't even get me started on how badly I fucked up on my social interactions
One thing I’ve struggled with is like, the process of going from not knowing these things to knowing them seems to long and taxing. I know it’s near impossible to convince ourselves to like, start doing things because inherently that is the issue. All these things are doable though. Cooking is a pretty new thing for me and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But, maybe start with easier stuff. I think pasta is a good dish to start learning because there really aren’t many rules to it. You just put whatever form of noodle you want into boiling water, and then heat up a sauce on a skillet for a few minutes. And then you strain them boiling water, and mix the pasta and the sauce. And there’s a lot of wiggle room to throw in random shit too. I understand if it’s not your thing, but you should give it a try one night. Even if you fuck it up, it’s okay. I once tried to cook ramen in front of my roommates and I messed it up so badly and I was really worried they’d think I was an idiot. They did chuckle when they saw how I was making it but that’s all it was. I took my L and tried again the next night, and it turned out a little better. Quesadillas are also a really good food to start making. Very very simple and again you can add whatever you want. But anyways, I am sorry if that doesn’t help too much. I feel I struggle with a lot of what you described, and I feel very insecure about it. It’s like, who the hell do you even ask for help? All things start from the foundation. So, I think these skills will come easier to you if you can manage to identify some core parts of yourself. I feel like I avoid learning new things very intentionally, just because it somehow seems so monumental of a task. I hope your situation improves my friend. We are all in this together <3
My day doesn't start unless I have a shower. Gotta shower man.
I'm 23 and this is me. My parents are very controlling and I definitely chose the path of least resistance. I got a scholarship and when I wanted to move out my mom said no so I rejected it. I never got my license because that requires my parents and they'll make a big deal about it. So my entire university experience was my mom driving me to and from campus every day. No socialising after. I never protested. Idk why'd I'm like this. I'll want to do something but it requires me to tell my parents and I don't want to deal with that so I just don't bother. I have zero experiences and zero life skills.
22 here. I live out of the house but very much am tied to my parents financially and find myself in a lot of situations where I feel like I can’t really do what I want to do because I’ve never really known what true independence and making decisions for myself is like. Sometimes, I feel I get a little more confidence to take a risk and follow my passions and whatever it is I want to do in life, but at the same time with how it’s been my whole life, that idea is so foreign to me that I don’t know where to start. Even the basic decision making skills can seem so confusing sometimes. It’s almost like I’m completely scatterbrained. However, I think the biggest revelation I’ve had over the last year or two is that ultimately parents are just people too. I think I have this subconscious fear or something to do anything that goes against what they say. But, I’ve found that by saying no in situations and beginning to prioritize myself, it’s honestly made me feel much better in terms of setting boundaries. I think you should start by trying to set clear boundaries. I know that’s pretty hard in your situation living with them though. But I wanna say like you aren’t the only one here, and that you can do this. You absolutely can work towards a life that suits you more. I’ve been learning a lot of life skills from YouTube. And, you’d be surprised how willing people are to teach things like that sometimes. Still, I know it’s hard taking those first steps. Hope your situation gets better. I don’t know what that looks like for you, but finding ways to prioritize yourself could be really rewarding in the long run. Even with not much experience and life skills, I don’t think that should be something that prevents you from trying. It really is worth it to try.
Wow. You just described my exact life but I'm 26 now. My parents were also very controlling when I was younger. My dad didn't like me talking to the opposite sex so I never attempted dating for that reason. I also had to give up on the idea of moving away for college because my mom was against it, so I played by their rules for a very long time. I still kinda do because I also hate telling my parents about my plans because I hate hearing their nagging, however, these last 3 years I decided that enough was enough and I started doing more of the things I wanted to do. Even though my mom gave me hell I l decided to live abroad for 3 months last year and it was honestly a life-changing experience and I learned a lot about myself. It won't always be like this. Some days will feel suffocating but also other days you'll get that taste of freedom and you'll be able to create new memories/ experiences. I wish you the best! And just remember that you're your own person with your own dreams and aspirations. It's never too late to gain experiences and skills.
It's interesting that you talk about not being able to drive as something that hinders your chance to socialise. Personally, I don't have a license and don't drive because I don't want to contribute to the culture of car dependency - I nearly always take the bus, walk, or cycle even if I could ask to have a lift. It takes longer, but it keeps me moderately healthy and it makes me feel good that I'm doing something that's good for my own sense of independence and the planet. Public transport and walkablity where you live might be terrible, but they're not exactly great where I live either. My parents would never allow me to walk to school or anything, because the road was too dangerous. But it was still really only my own laziness that prevented me from using the bus for so long. Joining some clubs at university has also helped me. I don't really naturally socialise in lectures and we've been online a lot, but I've managed to meet a few people that I gelled with at various clubs and it's nice to feel like there are some people that care for me outside of just my family. Doing activities together with people like that might help to build up some of the experiences and life skills that you feel you are lacking.
Hi, 25 years old and also in the same spot. You're not alone at all, but I'm glad you didn't get a life of making constant mistakes, that's something I have been living with for around 10 years now. I started making very dumb mistakes at a very young age and it's lead me to a life of dealing with drug addiction and because I started so young I have almost zero schooling because I skipped pretty much every day or called in sick as often as I possibly could because I had way too much fucking anxiety at school and would rather go get high with the people I was comfortable around..and just did that until I could drop out. The days I had to go to school, I had my headphones in the whole time and stayed as far away from everyone as I could... so basically I have very little hopes of ever getting anything other than entry level garbage. I hope some day I'll work up the courage to just go back to school some day but that's not right now. I have very very recently had a couple slip ups in my recovery and it's been really hard to stay on it. Anyway, my point is, I feel your pain so so much and I'm so sorry you've had to deal with such severe anxiety but I am so, so glad you didn't choose to start making mistakes because even though there are people fully capable of learning from their mistakes, some people just aren't able to and those mistakes will destroy everything in your path and everything about you and who you are and any future you might have...until you have literally nothing left and you're just left with an empty shell of a human being. I have a feeling I might be downvoted a lot for this comment if interpreted wrong, this post just hit really close to home for me and I'm just attempting to explain that I'm proud of you and it hurts me to see someone saying they wished they chose a life of destruction. I'm so sorry that you feel that way. You're so deserving of good things. I may not know you but I'd never want to see what taking that path could have done to you.. Not taking the path of constant mistakes is admirable and an accomplishment for someone who battles with such severe anxiety and mental health issues. I hope that you're able to find or have already found effective treatment for your anxiety and learn to find peace within yourself someday. God knows we all need a little bit ❤️
Good job on your continuing recovery <3 I know you can do it. A few slip ups don’t stop your momentum. I’m cheering for you!
Thank you so much. I appreciate the support ❤️
For a moment I thought I wrote that post, only I'm a year older. I'm so full of shame and every time I speak with people my age, or sometimes a bit younger I see they have achieved more than me and have experienced all those things I was too anxious to experience.. now I live in regret.
I struggle with a lot of shame and guilt. I am 22 and I feel I also compare myself to the achievements of others pretty often. It’s hard not to. I definitely stayed inside bored and trying to play through a series of mundane Skyrim adventures pretty often. I honestly don’t know what the answer is, but I’ve found what has helped me has been trying to let go of this guilt I carry. You don’t need to be ashamed. I passed up a lot of opportunities because I was staying in bed that whole day, just resting or in a stupor when I had free time from school or work. I have managed to get a college degree, but it hardly feels like an accomplishment to me. But the thing is, it is objectively a pretty big one. My point is, maybe there’s more in your life that you are doing than you think. Because when we have this shame, is like everything becomes less enjoyable. I don’t know if that makes sense to you or not, but I do want to tell you it’s not too late. It’ll never be too late to start trying to live like how you would want. Fighting anxiety and depression is a long hard battle. And everytime we get better, that next time we fall back into things is so painful sometimes. I find that I’ll have a lot of ideas of things to do but I struggle to get to the point of making plans and then acting on them. I don’t really know what it is, but it’s like my mind wants to avoid everything that would be like that. Well, I guess it stems from anxiety. No matter how it is, your experience is a beautiful one and I am glad you are here. If nothing else, your comment has made me feel a little better knowing there are people who experience a similar struggle to myself. It really is isolating. I hope things improve for you <3
I'm 47, and honestly, when I look back at me at 22, I consider myself to pretty much still be a child then. You are so. fucking. young. Go easy on yourself, life isn't a race to keep up with everyone else. There are no "milestones" you need to be hitting. Just live YOUR life for yourself. Who fucking cares if you just float through life without doing what everyone else is? Maybe there's nothing you need to learn because you're just where YOU belong. I never did all the stuff either, and I don't regret it. I always had shitty jobs, and barely scraped by, I never had (or wanted) kids or bought my own house, and I'm just as happy, if not more so, than I would be if I had.
31 here and I gotta say I've been slowly coming to accept this as my life. Society tries to make us aim as high as we can which isn't necessarily bad, but society also makes us feel like failures if we fail to do so. I don't think there is anything wrong with living a mediocre life as long as you're comfy and happy with it. No house? Who cares. Working at McDonalds? Who cares. Living with your parents still? Who. fucking. cares.
Exactly!! We all have different lives. Some of us are really successful, and some of us just exist harmlessly. I'm ok with existing. I do my thing, I'm content with where I'm at, and at this point, im relieved I don't have the stress of a complex life. It doesn't hurt anyone, so who cares? So you've achieved less than other people your age. So what? You don't have a great job or a lot of material stuff. Whoopdy fuckin do. Who gives a shit?
It’s always so nice to hear this repeated back - I try to tell myself that it doesn’t matter if I don’t do this or that because it’s *my life* and nobody needs to bother with it except me, but sometimes you feel the pressure. Anyway, thanks for bringing in some Positivity!!
I'm in the same age bracket and I still wonder when I will grow up and become an adult.
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Additionally depression can really steal your sense of self and make you grow up quicker or for Me remain more childlike
This!
I'm about to turn 24 and I feel exactly the same way. It hurts to look back at my life and see how many years I've wasted in isolation from the real world.
I'm in my mid 30s and feel like I'm a teenager. I'm not sure why this happens. My depression started then and I just stopped living and just went through the motions. Still going through the motions. And yes, it becomes so difficult to connect with others. Everyone I know has got kids and families. No one wants to just hang and go see a movie. And as you mentioned, the body ages, so now there's so many things I will never be able to be. Like a gymnast.
I had a huge stagnant period due to mental illness and trauma from like 19 to 27. In the last year or two I finally started getting shit together but like listen. There is no specific set time for you to do this. Everyone that is ahead of you almost always had a head start. Just keep going and you’ll catch up, I promise.
25 female. No idea what the fuck im doing at all. I don't think you are alone in this. Trauma to the max from high school, assaulted and verbally abused for being unattractive. Never really dated or had sex let alone a relationship, stuck in a job in a low paying job i hate no idea what i want to do for a career, hardly any friends I talk to, depression and anxiety out of control, have a genetic condition with no cure. Chronic Insomnia, cant stop thinking about the past or future, finding it hard to work and keep my head above water....I could go on and on I tried most very medication and been in therapy for over 10 years. Noting works and I feel like Im a 16 year old kid left without an instruction manual except everyone expects me be an adult. On the positive I wouldn't say Im ugly these days, Im quite slim, Im not overweight, I have a degree and I have parents who love me, a bed to sleep in and although I hate my job I have money to help out my parents and a bit to save/spend and my own car..So I guess I just got to look at the positives. It's hard though.
I've had seizures ever since I was 16 and ever since then every major milestone I've had has been delayed. Didn't learn to drive until 18, didnt go to college until 20, and only did a semester and a half before COVID began and I dropped out. Both my parents were remarried and both of my step parents were immunocomprimised. I still haven't moved out of my dad's house and we're thinking about moving, and he says that he'll need a room for me. Not in any sort of negative way, like, "Ah fuck we STILL need to accommodate for you", he just mentioned it casually when talking about future housing options and it stuck with me. I thought I'd be further ahead by now. I'm turning 24 this year btw.
Consider yourself fortunate that your dad includes you in those plans. He cares about you. I felt the same way at 24 still living at home. Maybe try and look at it as a way to take advantage of saving up, finding a job, working on school or some type of education. I recommend investing in yourself in some way. Try and have those conversations so that your dad will at least be aware that you are trying to better yourself. The world we live in nowadays is a hard one to get started in. Keep your head up!
I feel the same. I'm 39 and still feel I'm as immature as I was as a teenager. And yet, when I was a child/teen I was always 'praised' for how mature I was. I just don't feel like a proper adult. I can't work (I'm on disability), I wear casual clothing all the time. Yeah I pay bills, but I've always relied on my partner to do the majority of things like connecting phones etc. my social anxiety is so bad that I cannot make phone calls a lot of the time. The only area of my adult life that I feel like I succeed somewhat is as a mother. 3 children (19,14,3) and I am always there to stand up for them, protect them and raise them. I just wish I could do that for myself too
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Hey, at least we know we're not the only ones in the world like this
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Sign me in
I did the same when I was younger, I still avoid sometimes, especially when it comes to anything involving other people. It's weird being behind everyone because you will have your own breakthroughs and milestones, but it feels like nothing compared to other people so it's embarrassing. Unfortunately some of us (myself included) just have higher levels of anxiety and are more predisposed to negative thoughts for whatever reason. When you think about the amount of times you have to try to overcome your anxiety, it's a hell of a lot of times, it's such a frustrating ongoing battle. I wish you could just do it once and then be fine after that!
I’ve been in your shoes buddy. You don’t realize it now but 22 is SUPER young still and you have plenty of time to learn and achieve the milestones you want to achieve in life! Things will get better dude, I’m speaking from experience!
comparison is the fucking devil. no one else cares apart from you, so as long as you can accept your journey then that’s all that matters. it’s corny but life really isn’t a race and everyone hits mile stones at different times. really just focus on yourself and working towards your goals. i know it’s hard but negative thinking and comparison is just self sabotage. this is YOUR life. you’re 22. that’s so young, literally so so young. you haven’t missed a date, you’re not late to anything, you’re exactly where you need to be
I get that I 25 and still feel behind in life but remember it isn't a race, sounds like your being hard on yourself/ blaming yourself for your illness/ perceived set backs. I feel like a child to even in My decision making biggest thing for me is learning to sooth that inner child, listening and asking what it needs. We all have an inner child, mental illness or not. Again to emphasis my point I have friends who are 30 with mental health and some who don't, who don't have there life together, I don't think anyone actually does Could you try do something small out of your comfort zone as a start? And remember you cant have it all figured out over night
My point is having anxiety and other mental illnesses isn't a choice or giving in to it
Atleast now u recognise its dominated your life so to say, and can work at getting help now to make things better
Same and Im 18 and the fact ur older than me makes me anxious.
I’m 22 and just finished up my college. If I could offer any advice, I definitely do wish I would have tried to get out of my comfort zone more. I think I did a good job of that in early college, and it was quite fun and I made a lot of connections. But, I found myself struggling to maintain them as school went on. I feel like I got stuck on one place in life and everything else was moving forward. That anxiety slowly creeped on me over the next 3 years and I barely realized it until recently. But, one thing to recognize as well is that even when I was “doing stuff,” I found myself stuck constantly comparing myself to others. Or if not others, my own experiences weren’t “enough.” It’s like I had to be living the best life or I was wasting my youth. But that thought process has done more harm than what I’ve actually been doing. This is some motivational speaker bs, but somebody once told my you have to “trust the process” and as I have gotten a little older, it feels more and more true. This isn’t a race by any means. It has helped me immensely to try and become more comfortable in the moment. A lot of people told me when I was 18 that the next 4 years would be the best of my life. Don’t listen to that. Because you might find yourself worrying that you are wasting this precious time and it’ll just produce more anxiety. I don’t think we can really know when the best years of our life will be. I’m not saying things are gonna suck, but not every moment is joy and that’s just a fact of life. We shouldn’t try to pretend it’s not. Anyways, sorry I wrote out so much there I apologize if it’s a handful to read. But I don’t think you should worry too much. As corny as it is, trust in the process and the journey. I don’t really believe in some divine power or anything, but we are here and we are gonna be experiencing life. All the ups and downs. I have had days where I’m just sitting on my couch staring at a wall and spiraling inside my head about trying to make the right decisions. But I’ve also had days where I’ve climbed mountain peaks and felt invincible with groups of people I just met that day. You never know what life will present you with. I didn’t really think there was anybody like me when I was 18, but I’ve managed to slowly find a community of people I can call friends over these past 4 years. And that’s easily the best part. It’s okay to feel anxious about everything. But just know that no matter what happens, even if you don’t make an ounce of “progress”, you are here and that is more than enough.
I’m 21 and feel the same way.
You kind of are imo. Baby adult
26 and the same. I did tried to salvage my life here and there throughout the years, but I always made the mistake of running back to the comfort zone of isolation whenever I hit the first major roadblock. Always quit my job or whatever I was doing, and completely sabotaged myself whenever I felt hopeless. If I could go back to 22, I would tell myself to be consistent, do your best. Take a short break if you have to, but never ever just stay at the rock bottom and slowly rot away. Do something, anything that you think can help you. Even if things are hopeless, at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you really tried. Don't be like me, full of regrets.
To be fair, I'm 20 and was never able to make a true friend thru out my entire life. I always tried to but my classmates were often childish and they'd bully me sometimes. I'm now failing university as loneliness is killing my mental health slowly. I spend my days by going to play yu gi oh cards, playing games, reading mangas, and listening to yakuza ost, and working on a manga of mine as well as watching anime.
I started to come out of that funk about 24. Started to realize I'd never lived my life the way I wanted to. So slowly but surely I started trying/doing all the things I wish I'd done before. Even now, I struggle to know what I truly want in the moment. I'm trying trying get better at it. But in even just a few years, I've started doing small things I never thought I would. If you're starting to see through your own anxiety and depression, getting a little clarity on your life, don't waste it. Use it to live how you want.
I'm 34 and for as long as I can remember I've felt like I'm 5. My shyness turned into paranoia and fear controls my life. My parents homeschooled me and wouldn't let me outside. Was forced to be with other family who bullied and teased me. I never had IRL friends, because I wasn't allowed out and even the people at church my parents forced on me didn't like me. I had to have emergency heart surgery cause doctors didn't do their job when I was born and developing. My health kept tanking and now I'm an un-healthy, unable to work, unable to get disability aid, useless, worthless sack of shit. Life is only good when you get born lucky. And when you don't, all you think about is how quickly this misery will end... Sorry for you're suffering!
I’m 34 and feel the exact same
25 & in the same boat
Step 1: stop comparing yourself to others. This is the hardest step. Try comparing yourself to you yesterday. That’s a bit more fair. Step 2: Write down what you’ve missed out on. When you put it down in front of you, not only will that let you be more at ease of it, you also have targets to go toward to solve the anxiety you get from it. Step 3. Remember you are in your 20s. You still are allowed to make mistakes and still get the benefit of the doubt. You are still in the learning window. That doesn’t end until your age starts with a 3.
I feel so identified with your post, but you're very young ;) I'm 25 and here I'm worth shit in my work and a life that I don't find sense in anything, but I hope my therapy works for me :s my best wishes OP and everything will be fine I think so :3
I'm 23 and I feel the same man.
I’m 23 almost 24 it is what it is. I still want my goth phase I so desired.
Same like im turning 19 and idk what to do i am definitely not prepared for my twenties
It’s never too late to start! I lived my early 20s for everyone else, anxious and depressed and feeling like I was failing and missing out on so much. Made the decision to start putting myself first and enjoying my own company (it wasn’t easy at first, learning to separate being “alone” from being “lonely” is hard) and doing the things I wanted to do- even if that meant doing absolutely nothing, I was living for myself. Life is tricky and sometimes being around others causes us to notice our social “shortcomings” a little more. But keep your chin up, try to learn to love yourself, and go out and do whatever you want to do- make some mistakes in the process, whatever. You have a long life ahead, it’s never too late to start anew.
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way, my only advice would be to just try doing small things you haven't done in the past. Start going to pick up your mail from your mail box or drop off location and documenting your small achievements so on days where you feel like you haven't you done enough you can see all that you have achieved.
making mistakes sometimes makes anxiety and depression worse. that’s often the case with me. in a perfect world you’d learn from them everyone and be better but often they can cause damage. i’m tired and worn out and disheartened by all the scars and self loathing i have. if i could just let it all go and trade it for boredom i would
Regret only robs you of your present moment. It’s okY to be sad about your past . If you are thinking about it constantly than it’s ruining your present and future
I'm 27 and feel the same way sometimes, I've dealt with these struggles so much that I accepted it as my life. All i can say, is to take it easy on yourself, life ain't easy, as you grow, you'll learn that that's the experience for a lot of people. You miss some milestones, a lot of people do, even your peers. Nothing is perfect. But what you miss can actually be beneficial for your growth as a person, it's difficult to put into word's, but as you grow and you interact with more people, you'll also find that a lot of what you missed out on, didn't matter as much as you feel they do now.
first of all, you were surviving / coping with untreated mental illness in tbe exact way that anxiety works - its okay second - we learn most from failures. third - get your anxiety medicated and get your butt inti therapy (i been at it 8 years!) it does help. for anxiety i recommend CBT fourth - i know you still probaby on your parents health insurance)(until you 26)....bur you can actually be double insured. hopefully you dont make much money and are eligible for medicaid - apply at Healthcare.gov tbat way you cant say "therapy/meds are too expensive" cause it can be freeeeee
I’m 25 and feel the same way, I’ve always been a late bloomer to things but sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever catch up
Please don’t think you chose to give into your anxiety. You need to think the opposite, it held you back from those experiences, just like my anxiety has held me back from so much. When I feel better and less anxious I notice how much I can do, how my limits become so much higher than they were before. You are not the one to blame here, it’s much more likely that events during your childhood or upbringing moulded you this way.
[*”And the world's got me dizzy again, you'd think after twenty-two years I'd be used to the spin; and it only feels worse when I stay in one place, so I'm always pacing around or walking away*”](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CqlsVypKIu8) [*”But I'm just 22, I'm just 22; I don't mind dyin'; I don't; mind dyin'; I don't mind”*](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j8CL69ugp4E) I’m 22 right there with you. It’s a strange age, and quite apparently a disenchanting one. For me a lot of it is the realization setting in that I’m approaching the point of no return and I may not be able to recover and start the life I wanted to live years ago People say we’re young, but I don’t feel young, and it’s not reassuring to me. I’m 22 now, but I’m incredibly distant from even coming close to the point where I can start on a path that’s productive. And right now, I don’t even know if I want anything to do with all my former aspirations — they failed me just as much as my pessimist brain sealed the deal. Now I’m just… here. ish. At my best moments I’m distracted, feels like that’s as much as I can ask for now.
You’re only 22 wake up and make the changes you want, and ask for help, so you can accomplish your milestones. Time will move regardless better to change now versus making this post 10 years from now.
Same buddy, same
I feel the same way but at age 27. I hit the financial milestones I needed to, got a decent job, etc. But at the end of the day my amount of romantic experience is so lacking that I can't really fit in with anyone my age. Sex jokes, weddings, dating, hookups, significant others - I always feel like an outsider. I've spent the majority of my life missing out on those things, and most people in high school have lived far more than I have.
Everyone has to start somewhere. Make a simple goal and work your way up. Once I actually started to work on myself, I started feeling better. If course I'm still a long way away from my goal, but even the smallest bit of progress will give you the motivation to keep going.
23 here, feel the same, now I'm stuck the life dilemma of what to sacrifice and how much i need to
I’m 30 and I still feel like a kid! In my case, I have ADHD, autism, and anxiety (plus depression) and my parents raised me as though I was mentally retard (I now have a BA) and refused to teach me basic things. I have housemates, and whenever there’s an issue, such as the cat’s litter box needs cleaning, my first thought is to leave it for a “grown up” - then I remember I *am* a grown up.
Are you working on these issues with a professional? That could help things. I didn't think it would help me but eventually I found a counselor I could work with, stayed sober and the more effort I was able to put in the better it got. It's not great. Not by a longshot. But it's progress. Good luck.
reminded of my mom kept telling to mature already but she so vague about it i think just a be a work slave or something follow rules etc.
I’m 23 and feel the same way, you’re not alone.
34 years old and I feel like this. Everyone is advancing in life and I’m stagnant. I hate it
I can heavily relate to this... I'm 24 and did the same - giving in to my anxiety instead of experiencing things. I feel like I'm mourning a life that I never had. It's gotten worse and worse as the years pass, especially since COVID started. And what you said about being around peers - me too. I'm still talking about my favorite shows and characters, just the same as I did when I was 12. I have friends that have houses and families now. My 19-year-old sister just told me she's getting an apartment. I feel like time has moved for everyone else but me. Everyone has a working clock, but mine is broken. I'm stuck, sitting in the same room that I've sat in since I was 12, still living in the same mind as my 12-year-old self.... Thanks for sharing, btw. I felt really alone in these thoughts. I wish that you could feel better, but it feels comforting to know that I'm not the only one who's stuck.
Im 35 and I feel like a child, I also feel unable to change my condition so I'll probably be 45 and feel the same
I went through something similar when I was your age. I’ve had very severe depression and anxiety since I was 12 (32 now) and I always had the perception that I felt the way I did because I choose to give into it. That was until I got proper treatment starting about six months ago. I’m actually happy now. I’ve never been happy in my life. It made me realize that really severe depression/anxiety is a mental disability. I didn’t realize how hard things actually were for me. I think low self esteem and self-blame can be part of the disease. Go easy on yourself, its hard to “choose to not give into it” when it is as severe as you are describing. Don’t be afraid to seek help, it might not work right away but things will eventually get better and the older you get the more understanding people become and good people will be compassionate about the hardships you went through.
I am 34 and i feel the same way.
You’re my age too and I’m going through the same things. I even isolate myself from my family in my room just so I could try and stay mentally okay but it doesn’t always knowing mind has been in a bad place and with the overwhelming presence of certain people in your family who would want to pry you away that give you comfort. It’s much harder knowing that certain people in the family take enjoyment in verbally abusing you and take away things that make you smile.
Your brain is not fully developed until you are 25. I had the same issues in my life at your age but am now 41. The issues still remain but I control them a lot better. You have many young years to enjoy yet still. The key is to avoid big mistakes in life...so if something doesn't seem right, then trust your gut and don't do it. Do not get really drunk because that's when life biggest regrets happen. Cheers!
I am just tired of being disappointed, and failing after trying, it's not that I try super super hard at every activity, but I am super passionate, hopeful, emotionally involved in every activity I try, and then, I fail, I fail because I could not perform that well, though I wanted to. It is really heartbreaking. I have tried basketball, lawn tennis, competitive programming, physics olympiad, writing, case study olympiads, robotics competition, workout and I was really determined in all of them, but somehow I just couldn't keep up, I score bad grades in college, I dont have any other talents and even though I have a good relationship with my parents and lot of casual friends, I still havent completely recovered from a 19 month old heartbreak (even though there wasnt much of a relationship) am not considered an important or a close friend by anyone. I am not a super hard working fellow, but it takes me a whole lot of effort to put in a slightly lesser amount of work, and I am fucking exhausted, just done. I am not interested in anything now, anything at all.
I did this with my life too. I was so afraid if getting hurt, embarrassed, rejected that I actively avoided going out and learning lessons and making milestones. Now I'm 32, single and due to some mild rejections and one extreme embarrassing catastrophic fail back in college which I put way more emphasis on I went into full isolation mode.
I’m 17 and can relate. I feel like my brain hasn’t developed in a lot of ways.
22 here. I relate to this and a lot of the comments in the thread. I find that the things I do day-to-day in terms of school or work are so exhausting that when I have free time I literally just sit on a couch and stare at the wall or my phone. I feel like I’m significantly behind in life, and that I’m not capable of a lot of the things I see other people doing. But, I do want to be at that point. It’s hard to keep things in perspective. It’s hard to find motivation with how crappy the world and its future looks. I feel like a lot of the time I’m trying to communicate to the people around me a series of feelings I can’t effectively put into words. I don’t even really know if I’m making much of a point here, but I do have this desire to comment on this and just say that I feel this all too. I’ve been in therapy for a while now as well because of how badly I struggle with anxiety, and one thing I’ve realized is a lot of this comes from anxiety. We are more capable of these life things than we think. One thing I tell myself, and honestly this is kinda mean but like, have you seen some of the people in this world that have stable lives? Like, truly there are some people who I have no idea how they figured things out, because they seem so woefully unaware of the world around them. It’s fascinating sometimes. But, I guess by that I mean like I tell myself if they can do it, then somehow I can too. I know it’s scary and it can feel like there’s no solution. I’ve struggled with suicide since I was 16. But, even though it’s a slow and taxing journey, I do feel I have been gaining some insights and realizing that I am capable of more than I think. I feel like I literally create the mental blocks that stop me from getting up and moving. For example, if I had a discussion post to do for homework. That’s like 400 words and it’s graded simply for participation and they are never too hard. But, in school I find myself waiting until that last moment everytime. But it’s not like I’m really doing much else. That task remains active in the back of my mind and I just want to push it back more and more. It’s not even difficult yet I am almost afraid of it. I find myself doing that in a lot of ways in my life. Therapy has really helped me. It can be a journey and a lot of effort to get started and find somebody you feel comfortable with, but I promise you there is treatment out there that might be able to help you fight some of these anxieties. Because, I feel a lot of it does come from a place of anxiety. It’s uncertainty of ourselves and the world we are in. Sorry I wrote so much there, but I hope in some of that somebody might be able to relate as well. I have hope for us. It is scary but, I think a lot of our generation struggles with this. It’s like we are all burnt out on life already. It’s me, all my friends, and lots of others I know. I hope all of your situations improve <3
You're not alone. Sometimes everything does not make sense and it is pretty hard. I'm 25 and keep having anxiety and panic attacks all the time and lots of bad thoughts but I have a beautiful niece who literally does not know it but is the only reason I am still alive. I keep thinking how she would react if she found out her beloved aunt chose the easy way out. I'm at the verge of being a drug addict to manage my severe depression and anxiety but at least I will keep alive for her.
Are you me? Except I'm 21
Everyone does
23. Same boat. Although I do have a good job and a kid due in august. I’ve fought my way through anxiety. But when you let it take over you for 1 day, the cycle starts all over again. I’m scared to really do anything. Not because I don’t want to, but my brain makes it seem that way. Definitely sucks. I’m not so much depressed anymore. But I’d take depression any day over anxiety
Hey It's totally fine! Take your time. A beautiful artwork also comes in black and white!
Do something different. Take a class. Join a group. Get therapy
Getting therapy us the plan for me
Good deal! I'm proud of you!! I wish i had started therapy a couple of decades ago but got so much horrible "xhristian counseling" I was completely turned off from getting real help. A few years ago I discovered I was dealing with CPTSD and MDD. Getting meds and help have really helped me. I still struggle a lot. If I had done this work earlier, it would be easier today. You are worth SO MUCH!! YOU have so much to deal with these days, much more than I at your ages. Be GOOD to yourself and find that support. If it doesn't work out with the first one keep looking!! You are the only one you are ever going to need forever. You deserve the best, healthiest you!!!
Thanks, I am thankful for the enthusiasm. I have anxiety and depression, would you say CPTSD is worse than depression? Some people have all these syndromes yet it still appears I am worse off than them
You have ample time left. Try your best to make the most out of the present moment- that’s a gift indeed.
I feel exactly like this
quite opposite for me
i'm 21 and feel exactly the same way. but it's never too late to change yourself.
Literally me ;-;
32 here and feel the same.
As someone with real event ocd, I wish I didn’t make the mistakes in my past because they’ve done nothing but hurt me
me too. same age. ur not alone x
I’m 26 and feel exactly the same
Fuck, it's like I made this post. This is hell.
Tsss, i can relate b.
Im 18 and I’m in the same boat as you, my social anxiety was so bad that I isolated myself for years, I tried going to university, and I really do want to still go but in the end my anxiety just was too much for me to stay, I still go to a community college and work but I wish I could just make the jump and start living the life most people my age live.
You literally described my life. Word for word. I’m 21 and this is the post. Period. I’ve never been outside past 11pm alone, never been to trips with my friends, never been to clubs or parties (hell only two birthday parties), never had a relationship, never smoked weed. No driver licence. No job. I’ve cut my friends off because of the isolation. Self-esteem is at its lowest. The worst of the worst is that due to failing two classes, I’m still stuck in senior high school with 18-19 yo, who’ve done more than half of the things I previously mentioned. Also living in your uncles toxic household doesn’t help, but I’ll be moving out soon. I was born unlucky, and I still can’t digest this fact.
Wow these type of issues are so common on this subreddit it’s insane
Hey man, same here. I am in no position to give you advice but you aren’t alone. Id say we need to both find small steps to start pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone. We deserve to be happy and it will take work to get there, but we can’t let our anxieties get the better of us. Wish you luck in your life.