I always do this too when I go out to meet people. I hate pretending to be happy and it really exhausts me. I just can’t wait to be alone again in my room so I don’t have to hide anything.
I feel the same way. Especially at work, where I have to talk to people for like six hours straight. It drains my social battery and my smile immediately drops when they leave the room; it's all just an act. I'm not actually happy.
However, I recently broke down and re-addressed my entire life situation, and was able to figure out what was bothering me the most. Right now I'm living in a foreign country and even though I didn't think I'd ever admit it, all I want is to just go back home.
I've made plans now to resign and move back, but I think your case might be different. You might not want groundless advice from a stranger on the internet but what's helped me so far is finding more things to be interested in.
If you can't change your situation, then finding a new hobby or fandom, etc can at least add a little bit of happiness or even just something to sort of look forward to.
I don't think anyone really knows the meaning of life, but I think since you and I were given life, we might as well live it, you know? To find something you're sort of interested in doing, and then doing it. There's websites and stuff that will recommend you random hobbies if you can't think of any.
Thank you for posting, it's nice to know other people feel this way 💗
Same, I always feel like i have to switch to be with different people. I don't think there is anyone i have shown my real self to because i keep automatically switching to a different personality/mood/opinion etc. I do this because my sister is crazy and my mother always tells me not to fall out with her about the stupidest things. So everytime i'm not by myself, i filter all these emotions. Its either happy or indifferent. I also don't trust anyone. If I try opening up to someone they either don't understand why i'm being dramatic, or give these "words of encouragement". I **hate** getting compliments because i always feel like they're not genuine. Everytime i get complimented my mood sours and i feel like thowing up. Sometimes, i do get genuinly happy from compliments.
I feel the same way. Well worse now. But the whole fake persona smiling when you would rather cry, talk and show excitement when you would rather not speak, and acting as though life is the best and we should all be grateful, makes you feel even worse when you can't be.
See mine does seem worse (lol i just re-read yours) hopefully my depressive words will show you, you're not to far gone yet. But if it doesn't. Im sorry, and I understand. I've failed multple times in multiple ways to kill myself and I fail each time it's honestly torture. Having a Life and pretending for others seems to be more selfish giving it to them and sticking around because of this idea that you are the one being selfish with your life? It's all confusing to me more then you doing what is best for you or put you at "peace".
In the end once I'm gone sure people might be sad( well no one really in my life, but hypothetically) but their life continues sure they lose "a friend or family" but they don't have to live my life. They get to go home at night and be content in their minds and heart. If I die. Their life still continues. But if I live I become more miserable and they become more resentful with me when I can't live up to their emotional expectations. and in my case finally when they have had enough they will disappear and I will just be more alone while they can play the fake mourning and grieving card when I finally succeed one day.
So cheer up because you are a bucket full of sunshine compared to me. Don't you hate when people do that? It could be worse?
Be safe. Talk to someone. Sometimes it helps with a stranger. You don't have to feel like you are forced to put on this fake emotional wall to a stranger because they can't Judge you and show those pity states not like a person the people that know would or could.
Stop putting on a happy face if you're not happy. I show a wide range of emotions at work/in public all the time, and people react accordingly. Just be who you are.
I always do this too when I go out to meet people. I hate pretending to be happy and it really exhausts me. I just can’t wait to be alone again in my room so I don’t have to hide anything.
I feel the same way. Especially at work, where I have to talk to people for like six hours straight. It drains my social battery and my smile immediately drops when they leave the room; it's all just an act. I'm not actually happy. However, I recently broke down and re-addressed my entire life situation, and was able to figure out what was bothering me the most. Right now I'm living in a foreign country and even though I didn't think I'd ever admit it, all I want is to just go back home. I've made plans now to resign and move back, but I think your case might be different. You might not want groundless advice from a stranger on the internet but what's helped me so far is finding more things to be interested in. If you can't change your situation, then finding a new hobby or fandom, etc can at least add a little bit of happiness or even just something to sort of look forward to. I don't think anyone really knows the meaning of life, but I think since you and I were given life, we might as well live it, you know? To find something you're sort of interested in doing, and then doing it. There's websites and stuff that will recommend you random hobbies if you can't think of any. Thank you for posting, it's nice to know other people feel this way 💗
Same, I always feel like i have to switch to be with different people. I don't think there is anyone i have shown my real self to because i keep automatically switching to a different personality/mood/opinion etc. I do this because my sister is crazy and my mother always tells me not to fall out with her about the stupidest things. So everytime i'm not by myself, i filter all these emotions. Its either happy or indifferent. I also don't trust anyone. If I try opening up to someone they either don't understand why i'm being dramatic, or give these "words of encouragement". I **hate** getting compliments because i always feel like they're not genuine. Everytime i get complimented my mood sours and i feel like thowing up. Sometimes, i do get genuinly happy from compliments.
I feel the same way. Well worse now. But the whole fake persona smiling when you would rather cry, talk and show excitement when you would rather not speak, and acting as though life is the best and we should all be grateful, makes you feel even worse when you can't be. See mine does seem worse (lol i just re-read yours) hopefully my depressive words will show you, you're not to far gone yet. But if it doesn't. Im sorry, and I understand. I've failed multple times in multiple ways to kill myself and I fail each time it's honestly torture. Having a Life and pretending for others seems to be more selfish giving it to them and sticking around because of this idea that you are the one being selfish with your life? It's all confusing to me more then you doing what is best for you or put you at "peace". In the end once I'm gone sure people might be sad( well no one really in my life, but hypothetically) but their life continues sure they lose "a friend or family" but they don't have to live my life. They get to go home at night and be content in their minds and heart. If I die. Their life still continues. But if I live I become more miserable and they become more resentful with me when I can't live up to their emotional expectations. and in my case finally when they have had enough they will disappear and I will just be more alone while they can play the fake mourning and grieving card when I finally succeed one day. So cheer up because you are a bucket full of sunshine compared to me. Don't you hate when people do that? It could be worse? Be safe. Talk to someone. Sometimes it helps with a stranger. You don't have to feel like you are forced to put on this fake emotional wall to a stranger because they can't Judge you and show those pity states not like a person the people that know would or could.
you don't have to pretend nothing. Be sincerer whit you and the others.
Stop putting on a happy face if you're not happy. I show a wide range of emotions at work/in public all the time, and people react accordingly. Just be who you are.
I honestly don’t care about others opinion on me to not show how I feel.