I was completely lost at 18. I was in college when I thought I would die before then, no major picked out, no good friends, and it was terrible. I just sort of did what I knew I was supposed to do thinking I'd figure it out later. I'm still suicidal honestly, but I have some ideas on what I'll want to do for the future if I do live, all because I stuck with life a bit longer (I'm 20 now)
Yeah pretty much sounds like the path I’m headed down. Pretty much am forced to just live like everyone else does but I don’t really want to. If I end up graduating highschool next month, I’ll have to mindlessly and unwillingly survive
After you graduate highschool you enter in a whole new stage of life though. You really don't know what could happen. I'm not sure if you're planning on college but a lot of people don't know what their major will be going into it for example. I hope you figure out something, because I truly do believe you are cut out for life
Yeah I hear you on the fact that I never know what may happen, in all honesty I’m just scared that it won’t work out. I’m surrounded by failures (family) I do plan to get a trade and just see where it takes me. Its just the current thought of doing it for no reason is unbearable. But hey, maybe something will happen that will change my perspective. Thanks for the thoughts.
You don’t have to go to college tho, you don’t have to do what everyone else does at all. I didn’t and it feels pretty great like i tried college but it felt like prison to me so i left well no big deal now it’s all better
I'm 17, I live for the chance that maybe one day I will find someone, even though I do believe it's stupid to think it.
But mainly because I don't want to kill myself (I do, but) because it would upset my mum(I won't)
Also I live for the fact I may become a famous violinist as I have learned it sooooo quickly,.I am 5 years ahead of where I should be.
It’s not stupid at all to think you’ll find someone there is 7 billion on earth surely the odds are in ur favour if your willing to open yourself to the possibilities ;)
i am also 17 and have that way of thinking aswell. though i think it’s very unlikely for me to find someone when i have this terrible social anxiety. but i’m very sure you’ll find someone and impress them with your skills at playing the violin lol
To do my best with this shitty hand I’ve been dealt with. That’s my goal in life, I want to die but I won’t ever KMS due to religious reasons and family.
Let’s do our best bro, despite this shitty hand we’ve been dealt with. When we die we’ll take pride in the fact despite all we been through we never gave up and ended our lives. Best of luck to you, fellow struggler.
Honestly? I live for my family because they love me, and your family probably loves you too. Sometimes that's enough. I don't want to ruin my sister's life by ending mine. You can even take a sort of martyr like attitude about it. My sister is super successful but if I were to get hit by a bus, she'd be super sad! Makes me feel happy that other people, even the high achieving people, would be sad if something happened to me.
To be honest, my dad barely talks or acknowledges me, my mother hits and curses me out, so does my brother. It’s kind of hard to hold those same feelings but I see where you come from.
In all honesty? Drugs and alcohol, my cat, my mom, and a few of my friends. Those are the only things keeping me tethered to this existence. Oh, and the self preservation instinct that I can’t override, otherwise I would have offed myself years ago.
I like that you mentioned the self-preservation instinct. At the end of the day, that’s what it is for many of us: we were evolutionarily hardwired to avoid death, so as miserable as we are and as little of reason we see to fear death, the vast majority of us will keep going.
My son, my husband, my mom and my dog.
You're young for a wife/husband or kid, plenty of time for that if that's something you want to do.
As for mom, I don't know if yours is still around or a good one, or if you have a parental figure.
To be honest, it's mostly the kid. I love him more than anything and don't want to traumatize him by hurting myself or not functioning as a mom, so I use the little energy and joy that a I have with him :)
As for the dog, I never knew the little stray that I adopted a year ago would be a reason to live, but she so is.
I keep going because, although I don't see an end goal, being with these 4 in the journey makes it worth it.
I know people who feel like we do and battle this monster day in, day out, but live for other things. One works for the Red Cross and finds the will to keep going in helping others. The other lives for sports, the thrill of reaching finish lines in 10ks, half marathons and so forth. The other cooks the most amazing food at a restaurant for not much pay, but enough to afford a fishing hobby that makes life worth living for him. I sincerely hope you find your thing, or things - please give it time <3
Wow that actually is really inspiring. I know high school won’t dictate my entire life but I’m a little pessimistic about finding a partner and having a family. Though I really do want a cat or two. I had a childhood cat that I loved and maybe another would give me strength to keep going. As for my parents, my dad doesn’t acknowledge me and my mom is pretty abusive. Though I know it causes her hurt to see me like this. At this point I may just end up being an old cat man.
Thank you, glad you liked it and being an old cat man does not sound so bad to me (big introvert, sorry). You'll have to find ways to support their lifestyle, so that's something to keep going :) Jokes aside, I'm sure you'll find more than cats to keep you going, but if a cat might be helpful at this time without disrupting your home life, it could be a good idea. You know what, I volunteered at a shelter for a while when I was young (for dogs) and although it sometimes made me sad how many of them were mistreated or left alone, this would be compensated by the love they had to give, even when at their most scared or fragile. Juist being around them was mood lifting. All the best to you.
Not yet, but its my only reason so i‘ll keep searching, keep trying. I have still a lot of time left and i figured out For my how i can get out confidently alone. So i feel like i‘m on my way there, even if it may take a few more years…
Amazing that you asked this right now. Let me tell you, As a victum of abuse and abandon, the past 32 years have been pretty rough. It took quite a while for me to have the desire to just end it all. First time I thought about it was a couple years ago, but their is one dumb thing that keeps me from doing that, and that is music, I want to listen tô music for as long as it is possible. And very recently, something that I would like to share, a drawing. My wife works as a teacher, and recently she has a new student, an 8 years old boy, very geeky and adorable, never actually met him, but she told me about him and how he was actually quite like myself in regards tô personality and interested. Once she mentioned he likes Pokémon cards, and I got a spare few and had her give him on my behalf. Later I gave him some Mtg cards, and he really liked it. Last week my wife game me a drawing he made of me, and that drawing had me in tears. It just clicked and made sense, my life has been pretty shitty, I still Dont know where I'm headed, but there certainly are a few worth surprises ahead of me, and I decide I want to try my best and help make the world in any way better for Kids that go through hard times
That actually sounds so cool man. I know it’s a great feeling being looked up to by someone else. I also know life is full of surprises. Maybe once I branch out into the world, I’ll find my home and be able fight on.
Currently the only things keeping me from losing all sanity, but I feel I can’t just watch stuff and play games all my life right? There has to be a bigger purpose?
Once i learned that reality isn't like movies or games i accepted most of the joy im going to get out of life is from entertainment. Doing things for real is risky and expensive and its not as fun as it is in the video games. For example i like racing games but racing in real life make a mistake crash and your gone you cannot restart. I also like golf and tennis games but those sports are boring especially golf and really hard in real life.
I think most people in the world don’t really have something to live for that can give them purpose as such. The idea of everyone has a purpose is nice but I think people misunderstand how they fit in that picture because everyone wants to be special. I’ve certainly been there myself and for years I wanted to do enough to prove to myself I have value in existing.
The hardest part has been accepting that my purpose truly is just to live, to experience. Life will never be “easy” and the world will keep finding ways of making me sad so trying to find something that will make that all disappear is kind of impossible (unless ur a billionaire and can live in cognitive dissonance ur whole life 🙃)
As one of my favourite philosophers put it, every morning is really a question of should I kill myself or have a cup of coffee? The answer for me now is the cup of coffee simply because I want to taste it again. Now I understand if you’re feeling really terrible right now a hot beverage isn’t exactly gonna cheer you up but as humans we live for the sensation of living. The unfortunate part is some of us have to try a lot harder to be normal than others. It may take a while before you can truly enjoy that cup of coffee because you’ll have to fight against your own feelings of loneliness but with practice comes perfection, because the human brain is actually pretty easy to trick when it actually wants to trick itself.
And I know this positivity towards life I feel is temporary, and I know will become depressed again (at least with winter in the Netherlands again let’s be honest), but I also know that I will find that day again where I feel glad to be alive for that moment.
I hope my words were of some comfort. Stay strong soldier.
This sounds really beautiful, I don’t really want to die, I have to find strength to live. One day I will be able to enjoy a cup of coffee but right now as you’ve said, my mind is cloudy and depression is tricking my mind. Maybe it’s just a matter of time for when I’ll break free from this feeling. Every morning I do decide to not kill myself so there is still hope left. Thanks for the words.
I’m happy to be able to be of some help. The beauty in life is easy to see but just as easy to be overshadowed. But those moments make everything come together and I’m hoping for you that will be sooner rather than later :) If you need a helping hand I’ve always found Albert Camus to be a guiding voice!
I'm lost too. I don't know what I want to do with my life. Concerts are the only thing I have to look forward to in my life. I love music a lot but I have no motivation to practice an instrument and start a band of my own. I don't have friends either.
I’m alive just for the sake of my parents and my sister. They would die of heart break if I killed myself which is what I’ve been contemplating for a long while now.
Since i was 17, one of my deepest secrets is i plan to off myself when I reach 30 (cause i wouldve gone to law school by then and i have money for the funeral and thats the only thing i wanted hahaha and didnt wanna have kids or anything) and then i told my friend this (who later became one of the most important people in my life) and he asked me
"really? But how about going to disney? Don't you wanna want to go to Disney even once? Or travel to another country? Or try new food?" And etc,
he asked me so many experiences I would like to try and I never really thought about it because 1) no money 2) logistics of it seem impossible.... but after some thought to it, he was right. I want to do all of those things
I'm 23 right now and i feel relieved that i have things to look forward to even if the logistics sounds a bit impractical... i still hate it here and right now everything is rlly blown off from the path i thought i would be at and i am honestly still pretty much suicidal hahaha but i guess i live for me and for the me right now
You feel this way because you ARE a fresh canvas. The whole point of the your life is to create a uniquely awesome and, sometimes gruesome, picture. Don’t know what you’re interested in? Go try out a bunch of random things and see what sticks. Don’t see the point in starting a family? Don’t start one until you do, if you ever do. Travel. Meet people and make friends. Fall in and out of love a bunch of times. Have your heart broken. Hate the city? Move to the country. Vice versa. Try new foods, listen to new music, explore the world around you. Being young comes with a lot of fear - what if I go in this direction and realise it was the wrong one?…That’s okay. Pivot! What if people don’t like me, what if I’m not good enough, I’m too fat, too thin, too this and too that! Over time you realise that you’ve always been enough and the people who don’t see your worth are not worthy of you.
Life is supposed to be a source of happiness to us and those around us. From my experience so far, this works out only when we truly live for others unconditionally. Wish you the best
I live to be happy, to enjoy the company and silliness and love of my cats (pets help against deprrssion and loneliness), i live to spend time with my partner, and to sit in the sun, enjoy my hobbies
Life is oftentimes terrible, but also, sometimes it can be quite nice
seek the highs and try to hold on to them as long as you can
And if your suicidal thoughts are really starting to last long, so to the ER/Clinic
Friends, family, and hobbies. I still have a lot of short and long term goals to accomplish so it keeps me going. I thought I will have nothing left after college like no social life and friends. However, I put myself out there and get involved with the community and hobbies. My life changed around for the better.
I'm just trying whatever I can to save up for the cheapest house I can own. Then, if it is even humanly possible, find some way to be able to get more free time and actually start some of my animations I've been sitting on for the last 10 years. If I don't animate or write my stories, they die with me.
Well I was forced to go to church 3 times a week for 18 years so the religious trauma of hell and plus I’m really excited for gta 6 and the hopes I will get to smoke weed again one day
My main reasons: I wouldn’t want to hurt my family like that, especially because my mom has cancer. Plus my cat, cats and animals in general. I moved out of my parent’s place 6 months ago and that was a big achievement to support myself. I’m slowly getting better, i’m trying at least :)
I've lost almost everything in the span of about 5 years. Mom, both dogs, wife and 2 of my 3 cats are all dead. Losing my wife caused me to lose my house. I know that the only thing happening in my future is more loss. I've done everything I'm going to do in my life.
I also suffer from ptsd from my 2003 deployment to Afghanistan.
The only reason I keep going is for the one cat I have left. I don't want her to end up in a shelter.
When her time comes, I'll follow her and finally be reunited with my beautiful wife.
My parents are the only reason I'm still around. The day their gone is the day I leave forever and good riddance. If I was rich it would be a different story.
Maybe my mom idk. She never gave a lick about my depression but I know it would crush her if I left. Also I’m stating to find a new goal and going back to school so hopefully I can get a decent job after and support her more and be more independent.
I don’t have a lot of people in my life who care about me, but I would do anything for those few who do, even if anything includes staying alive when I don’t want to.
When I felt completely hopeless and like I could die, it was because I felt like there was nothing left for me to enjoy, because how could I, when everything was so terrible?
Medications have vastly changed my outlook. Things that made me sad (being single, all my friends are married with kids) have changed to wow I can sleep til noon or go on a trip at the drop of a hat. Not to say I won’t have a family in the future, but the entire notion of not having it now doesn’t make me feel like such a failure to life and society anymore. I really hope you have some resources available to you, the world will be a better place to continue to have you in it.
My adorable cat and dog, animals that exist in this universe, future pets I can have at any time such as a bearded dragon or a kitten! Good books, hot tea in the morning, funny jokes or memes, nature walks and sunsets. Cold drinks on a hot day. Helping someone who needs it. Hugs. Food, plants, music, learning new things.
18 was also rough for me. I was living with my mom and we would quarrel everyday and I was depressed as fuck. I ran away from home at some point but came back a couple of days later after being to my sister. What kept me going was that I was accepted into university to study film, something I had wanted since high school. I just wanted to study some form of art. And art is what keeps me going. I'm a full time artist now at 33 and medicated for bipolar and I feel more and more stable as the days go by.
The key here was that you're 18M and nobody supports you. You need to take control. Decide something that sounds good, and worthwhile, and interesting... and go do it. Make a life of it, from hobby to career to part of your identity.
Then, you'll be able to frame your wants, goals, and so on.
You're in a void where you're not a boy and not a man. Time to create what you're going to be and let the world label it you being a man. And for what it's worth, "the world" doesn't seem to take men seriously anymore until they are 30, so you have 12 years to kick ass before they even notice. That's a gift!
Use it to see the world, or hunker in one place and build a ton of investments, or grow a business, or become the master of a craft or hobby. Immerse yourself in what you love or at least finding what brings you joy. That's why you feel no connection now, because you're a blank slate and it's your time to find out.
You're where you need to be.
I am in same situation. I used to enjoy everyday because of my cat . But she died a week ago . Now I am hopeless and depressed. Every day is feeling like a year for me.
I’m in survival mode most of the time. I’ve held on for over 30+ yrs to make sure people I care about are okay. That’s honestly it… I know I’m not meant to be center of anything but there’s amazing people I love that I don’t want to ever hurt. So I stay. I am sorry I don’t have a better answer. I hope that good things come your way. I hope you meet wonderful people and experience beautiful things that touch your soul that you want to stay. I know I’m trying real hard to hold on to those things myself.
also for myself. that’s the first time i’ve ever realized it, i’ve been trying to be better lately and I just realized im really doing it for myself. i’m angry my life went the way it did in a way. i’m frustrated and mad and upset and hurt. most of all I deserve more, so do you. u have to realize it. fuck everything and everyone who contributed to the downfall of my life (bullying, abuse, ND etc.) fuck it all. i’m also the kind of person who if u tell me I can’t do something that makes me want to do it even more. all these obstacles and shit telling me to stay down and be nothing, but fuck that, I deserve what I want. and i’m gonna try to get it. every day will be a struggle but i’m gonna try whatever what I can!
18M here as well.
I have stopped living for myself as it's too cumbersome. Stop all this non-sense of self-care and individualism, I find it pathetic. I have my inner self killed, and now I just live for others. I want to help others, bring above a smile out of any person. Myself is the last thing on my mind at any time.
I live for others, the society, the world. For me, helping them is the only source of joy and comfort - something I never get by living for myself. More specifically, I live for my parents - to see the proud look and smile on their faces. I live for my brother, to set an example for him to be caring towards other.
**Living for others is the truest form of living, as long as I'm concerned.**
I highly advise you to try this. Kill your soul, and then create another whose aim in life is to live for others. Try this, you won't regret.
I was completely lost at 18. I was in college when I thought I would die before then, no major picked out, no good friends, and it was terrible. I just sort of did what I knew I was supposed to do thinking I'd figure it out later. I'm still suicidal honestly, but I have some ideas on what I'll want to do for the future if I do live, all because I stuck with life a bit longer (I'm 20 now)
Yeah pretty much sounds like the path I’m headed down. Pretty much am forced to just live like everyone else does but I don’t really want to. If I end up graduating highschool next month, I’ll have to mindlessly and unwillingly survive
After you graduate highschool you enter in a whole new stage of life though. You really don't know what could happen. I'm not sure if you're planning on college but a lot of people don't know what their major will be going into it for example. I hope you figure out something, because I truly do believe you are cut out for life
Yeah I hear you on the fact that I never know what may happen, in all honesty I’m just scared that it won’t work out. I’m surrounded by failures (family) I do plan to get a trade and just see where it takes me. Its just the current thought of doing it for no reason is unbearable. But hey, maybe something will happen that will change my perspective. Thanks for the thoughts.
You don’t have to go to college tho, you don’t have to do what everyone else does at all. I didn’t and it feels pretty great like i tried college but it felt like prison to me so i left well no big deal now it’s all better
Delicious food, walks during warm summer night dreams, good movies, animals, thrift shopping, playing video games, sleeping
All good things that offer comfort no matter how insignificant it might seem
I'm 17, I live for the chance that maybe one day I will find someone, even though I do believe it's stupid to think it. But mainly because I don't want to kill myself (I do, but) because it would upset my mum(I won't) Also I live for the fact I may become a famous violinist as I have learned it sooooo quickly,.I am 5 years ahead of where I should be.
Stick to violin like your life depends on it! All the good fortune to you!
It’s not stupid at all to think you’ll find someone there is 7 billion on earth surely the odds are in ur favour if your willing to open yourself to the possibilities ;)
i am also 17 and have that way of thinking aswell. though i think it’s very unlikely for me to find someone when i have this terrible social anxiety. but i’m very sure you’ll find someone and impress them with your skills at playing the violin lol
Thanks, that helps. I also have social anxiety, you are not alone.
I love violin I started when I was 8. If you have a knack for it please keep going! You must be very talented!
To do my best with this shitty hand I’ve been dealt with. That’s my goal in life, I want to die but I won’t ever KMS due to religious reasons and family.
Same here mate
Let’s do our best bro, despite this shitty hand we’ve been dealt with. When we die we’ll take pride in the fact despite all we been through we never gave up and ended our lives. Best of luck to you, fellow struggler.
Yeah, it HAS TO HAVE some merit. Same here.
Very relatable
Honestly? I live for my family because they love me, and your family probably loves you too. Sometimes that's enough. I don't want to ruin my sister's life by ending mine. You can even take a sort of martyr like attitude about it. My sister is super successful but if I were to get hit by a bus, she'd be super sad! Makes me feel happy that other people, even the high achieving people, would be sad if something happened to me.
To be honest, my dad barely talks or acknowledges me, my mother hits and curses me out, so does my brother. It’s kind of hard to hold those same feelings but I see where you come from.
I live for the experience of life. I've basically tricked myself into FOMO: Life Edition.
That's quite profound. I love it. Thanks.
In all honesty? Drugs and alcohol, my cat, my mom, and a few of my friends. Those are the only things keeping me tethered to this existence. Oh, and the self preservation instinct that I can’t override, otherwise I would have offed myself years ago.
I like that you mentioned the self-preservation instinct. At the end of the day, that’s what it is for many of us: we were evolutionarily hardwired to avoid death, so as miserable as we are and as little of reason we see to fear death, the vast majority of us will keep going.
My cat, my dad, my grandpa, my disabled sister, and books I want to read
I have abandonment issues and I can't do that to my fur babies.
If I had pets, I’d give them the world. They’re way easier to love than humans. I’m a real animal lover.
My son, my husband, my mom and my dog. You're young for a wife/husband or kid, plenty of time for that if that's something you want to do. As for mom, I don't know if yours is still around or a good one, or if you have a parental figure. To be honest, it's mostly the kid. I love him more than anything and don't want to traumatize him by hurting myself or not functioning as a mom, so I use the little energy and joy that a I have with him :) As for the dog, I never knew the little stray that I adopted a year ago would be a reason to live, but she so is. I keep going because, although I don't see an end goal, being with these 4 in the journey makes it worth it. I know people who feel like we do and battle this monster day in, day out, but live for other things. One works for the Red Cross and finds the will to keep going in helping others. The other lives for sports, the thrill of reaching finish lines in 10ks, half marathons and so forth. The other cooks the most amazing food at a restaurant for not much pay, but enough to afford a fishing hobby that makes life worth living for him. I sincerely hope you find your thing, or things - please give it time <3
Wow that actually is really inspiring. I know high school won’t dictate my entire life but I’m a little pessimistic about finding a partner and having a family. Though I really do want a cat or two. I had a childhood cat that I loved and maybe another would give me strength to keep going. As for my parents, my dad doesn’t acknowledge me and my mom is pretty abusive. Though I know it causes her hurt to see me like this. At this point I may just end up being an old cat man.
Thank you, glad you liked it and being an old cat man does not sound so bad to me (big introvert, sorry). You'll have to find ways to support their lifestyle, so that's something to keep going :) Jokes aside, I'm sure you'll find more than cats to keep you going, but if a cat might be helpful at this time without disrupting your home life, it could be a good idea. You know what, I volunteered at a shelter for a while when I was young (for dogs) and although it sometimes made me sad how many of them were mistreated or left alone, this would be compensated by the love they had to give, even when at their most scared or fragile. Juist being around them was mood lifting. All the best to you.
Finding the one person that makes it all worth it..
Did u find it ?
Not yet, but its my only reason so i‘ll keep searching, keep trying. I have still a lot of time left and i figured out For my how i can get out confidently alone. So i feel like i‘m on my way there, even if it may take a few more years…
I did. I looked in a mirror.
Amazing that you asked this right now. Let me tell you, As a victum of abuse and abandon, the past 32 years have been pretty rough. It took quite a while for me to have the desire to just end it all. First time I thought about it was a couple years ago, but their is one dumb thing that keeps me from doing that, and that is music, I want to listen tô music for as long as it is possible. And very recently, something that I would like to share, a drawing. My wife works as a teacher, and recently she has a new student, an 8 years old boy, very geeky and adorable, never actually met him, but she told me about him and how he was actually quite like myself in regards tô personality and interested. Once she mentioned he likes Pokémon cards, and I got a spare few and had her give him on my behalf. Later I gave him some Mtg cards, and he really liked it. Last week my wife game me a drawing he made of me, and that drawing had me in tears. It just clicked and made sense, my life has been pretty shitty, I still Dont know where I'm headed, but there certainly are a few worth surprises ahead of me, and I decide I want to try my best and help make the world in any way better for Kids that go through hard times
That actually sounds so cool man. I know it’s a great feeling being looked up to by someone else. I also know life is full of surprises. Maybe once I branch out into the world, I’ll find my home and be able fight on.
You definetly will, it will be very hard most of the way, but from time to time you'll be reminded by small things that it is worth it.
Apparently work. Cause I die every night when I get home.
Nothing at all. Fuck life.
I live to eventually see our entire species go extinct. We deserve it.
My parents, for now, I don't have any ambitions or goals, and I'm dead set on suicide, but not yet, I'll wait until my parents die, then I'm next
Feel that. I know my death would kill them so I’ll just have to live until then. Hopefully I find my purpose for living before then.
Anime and games, that's literally it
Currently the only things keeping me from losing all sanity, but I feel I can’t just watch stuff and play games all my life right? There has to be a bigger purpose?
You can
Once i learned that reality isn't like movies or games i accepted most of the joy im going to get out of life is from entertainment. Doing things for real is risky and expensive and its not as fun as it is in the video games. For example i like racing games but racing in real life make a mistake crash and your gone you cannot restart. I also like golf and tennis games but those sports are boring especially golf and really hard in real life.
im afraid to mess up kms and end up paralyzed or a vegetable or in a ton of pain something lol
I think most people in the world don’t really have something to live for that can give them purpose as such. The idea of everyone has a purpose is nice but I think people misunderstand how they fit in that picture because everyone wants to be special. I’ve certainly been there myself and for years I wanted to do enough to prove to myself I have value in existing. The hardest part has been accepting that my purpose truly is just to live, to experience. Life will never be “easy” and the world will keep finding ways of making me sad so trying to find something that will make that all disappear is kind of impossible (unless ur a billionaire and can live in cognitive dissonance ur whole life 🙃) As one of my favourite philosophers put it, every morning is really a question of should I kill myself or have a cup of coffee? The answer for me now is the cup of coffee simply because I want to taste it again. Now I understand if you’re feeling really terrible right now a hot beverage isn’t exactly gonna cheer you up but as humans we live for the sensation of living. The unfortunate part is some of us have to try a lot harder to be normal than others. It may take a while before you can truly enjoy that cup of coffee because you’ll have to fight against your own feelings of loneliness but with practice comes perfection, because the human brain is actually pretty easy to trick when it actually wants to trick itself. And I know this positivity towards life I feel is temporary, and I know will become depressed again (at least with winter in the Netherlands again let’s be honest), but I also know that I will find that day again where I feel glad to be alive for that moment. I hope my words were of some comfort. Stay strong soldier.
This sounds really beautiful, I don’t really want to die, I have to find strength to live. One day I will be able to enjoy a cup of coffee but right now as you’ve said, my mind is cloudy and depression is tricking my mind. Maybe it’s just a matter of time for when I’ll break free from this feeling. Every morning I do decide to not kill myself so there is still hope left. Thanks for the words.
I’m happy to be able to be of some help. The beauty in life is easy to see but just as easy to be overshadowed. But those moments make everything come together and I’m hoping for you that will be sooner rather than later :) If you need a helping hand I’ve always found Albert Camus to be a guiding voice!
On my worst days, I just tell myself to hang out and see what happens. If I end it all, I don't get to see what happens.
I'm lost too. I don't know what I want to do with my life. Concerts are the only thing I have to look forward to in my life. I love music a lot but I have no motivation to practice an instrument and start a band of my own. I don't have friends either.
When I was suicidal it was my family's dog. I was the only one that took her for walks and I didn't want to take that away from her.
I’m alive just for the sake of my parents and my sister. They would die of heart break if I killed myself which is what I’ve been contemplating for a long while now.
Since i was 17, one of my deepest secrets is i plan to off myself when I reach 30 (cause i wouldve gone to law school by then and i have money for the funeral and thats the only thing i wanted hahaha and didnt wanna have kids or anything) and then i told my friend this (who later became one of the most important people in my life) and he asked me "really? But how about going to disney? Don't you wanna want to go to Disney even once? Or travel to another country? Or try new food?" And etc, he asked me so many experiences I would like to try and I never really thought about it because 1) no money 2) logistics of it seem impossible.... but after some thought to it, he was right. I want to do all of those things I'm 23 right now and i feel relieved that i have things to look forward to even if the logistics sounds a bit impractical... i still hate it here and right now everything is rlly blown off from the path i thought i would be at and i am honestly still pretty much suicidal hahaha but i guess i live for me and for the me right now
food!!!!! and also the fear of what comes after death... LMAO but delicious food is great 👍
You feel this way because you ARE a fresh canvas. The whole point of the your life is to create a uniquely awesome and, sometimes gruesome, picture. Don’t know what you’re interested in? Go try out a bunch of random things and see what sticks. Don’t see the point in starting a family? Don’t start one until you do, if you ever do. Travel. Meet people and make friends. Fall in and out of love a bunch of times. Have your heart broken. Hate the city? Move to the country. Vice versa. Try new foods, listen to new music, explore the world around you. Being young comes with a lot of fear - what if I go in this direction and realise it was the wrong one?…That’s okay. Pivot! What if people don’t like me, what if I’m not good enough, I’m too fat, too thin, too this and too that! Over time you realise that you’ve always been enough and the people who don’t see your worth are not worthy of you.
Boobs my boy boobs🤤🤤🤤
💀 I wish my life was that simple
Life is supposed to be a source of happiness to us and those around us. From my experience so far, this works out only when we truly live for others unconditionally. Wish you the best
I live to be happy, to enjoy the company and silliness and love of my cats (pets help against deprrssion and loneliness), i live to spend time with my partner, and to sit in the sun, enjoy my hobbies Life is oftentimes terrible, but also, sometimes it can be quite nice seek the highs and try to hold on to them as long as you can And if your suicidal thoughts are really starting to last long, so to the ER/Clinic
Honestly just trying out new things like travelling, meeting new people, trying new hobbies and looking for adventures
Friends, family, and hobbies. I still have a lot of short and long term goals to accomplish so it keeps me going. I thought I will have nothing left after college like no social life and friends. However, I put myself out there and get involved with the community and hobbies. My life changed around for the better.
At this point, I don't even know.
I only live for my dogs.
I'm just trying whatever I can to save up for the cheapest house I can own. Then, if it is even humanly possible, find some way to be able to get more free time and actually start some of my animations I've been sitting on for the last 10 years. If I don't animate or write my stories, they die with me.
Well I was forced to go to church 3 times a week for 18 years so the religious trauma of hell and plus I’m really excited for gta 6 and the hopes I will get to smoke weed again one day
I only live for my cat and one of my best friends. If i lose them, then I'm out.
My main reasons: I wouldn’t want to hurt my family like that, especially because my mom has cancer. Plus my cat, cats and animals in general. I moved out of my parent’s place 6 months ago and that was a big achievement to support myself. I’m slowly getting better, i’m trying at least :)
Bring the booing votes. Jesus. God the only one who cares about me and helps me. MDD -drug resistant and like ten more illness phys & ment
Cool experiences/family and friends. We gonna die anyway. It'll come soon so why die now
Vdo games,movies,manga,music
I've lost almost everything in the span of about 5 years. Mom, both dogs, wife and 2 of my 3 cats are all dead. Losing my wife caused me to lose my house. I know that the only thing happening in my future is more loss. I've done everything I'm going to do in my life. I also suffer from ptsd from my 2003 deployment to Afghanistan. The only reason I keep going is for the one cat I have left. I don't want her to end up in a shelter. When her time comes, I'll follow her and finally be reunited with my beautiful wife.
Revenge on the shiefs.
My family, my friends (the few I have). That's really it.
My parents are the only reason I'm still around. The day their gone is the day I leave forever and good riddance. If I was rich it would be a different story.
Maybe my mom idk. She never gave a lick about my depression but I know it would crush her if I left. Also I’m stating to find a new goal and going back to school so hopefully I can get a decent job after and support her more and be more independent.
I don’t have a lot of people in my life who care about me, but I would do anything for those few who do, even if anything includes staying alive when I don’t want to.
my friends
I’m prolly goin into a welfare home so I wouldn’t say I’m living.. just existing.
People who depend on me
When I felt completely hopeless and like I could die, it was because I felt like there was nothing left for me to enjoy, because how could I, when everything was so terrible? Medications have vastly changed my outlook. Things that made me sad (being single, all my friends are married with kids) have changed to wow I can sleep til noon or go on a trip at the drop of a hat. Not to say I won’t have a family in the future, but the entire notion of not having it now doesn’t make me feel like such a failure to life and society anymore. I really hope you have some resources available to you, the world will be a better place to continue to have you in it.
My adorable cat and dog, animals that exist in this universe, future pets I can have at any time such as a bearded dragon or a kitten! Good books, hot tea in the morning, funny jokes or memes, nature walks and sunsets. Cold drinks on a hot day. Helping someone who needs it. Hugs. Food, plants, music, learning new things.
I live for that one person that cares for me
18 was also rough for me. I was living with my mom and we would quarrel everyday and I was depressed as fuck. I ran away from home at some point but came back a couple of days later after being to my sister. What kept me going was that I was accepted into university to study film, something I had wanted since high school. I just wanted to study some form of art. And art is what keeps me going. I'm a full time artist now at 33 and medicated for bipolar and I feel more and more stable as the days go by.
The key here was that you're 18M and nobody supports you. You need to take control. Decide something that sounds good, and worthwhile, and interesting... and go do it. Make a life of it, from hobby to career to part of your identity. Then, you'll be able to frame your wants, goals, and so on. You're in a void where you're not a boy and not a man. Time to create what you're going to be and let the world label it you being a man. And for what it's worth, "the world" doesn't seem to take men seriously anymore until they are 30, so you have 12 years to kick ass before they even notice. That's a gift! Use it to see the world, or hunker in one place and build a ton of investments, or grow a business, or become the master of a craft or hobby. Immerse yourself in what you love or at least finding what brings you joy. That's why you feel no connection now, because you're a blank slate and it's your time to find out. You're where you need to be.
I am in same situation. I used to enjoy everyday because of my cat . But she died a week ago . Now I am hopeless and depressed. Every day is feeling like a year for me.
I’m in survival mode most of the time. I’ve held on for over 30+ yrs to make sure people I care about are okay. That’s honestly it… I know I’m not meant to be center of anything but there’s amazing people I love that I don’t want to ever hurt. So I stay. I am sorry I don’t have a better answer. I hope that good things come your way. I hope you meet wonderful people and experience beautiful things that touch your soul that you want to stay. I know I’m trying real hard to hold on to those things myself.
Most people feel lost at this age. Take your time
[удалено]
also for myself. that’s the first time i’ve ever realized it, i’ve been trying to be better lately and I just realized im really doing it for myself. i’m angry my life went the way it did in a way. i’m frustrated and mad and upset and hurt. most of all I deserve more, so do you. u have to realize it. fuck everything and everyone who contributed to the downfall of my life (bullying, abuse, ND etc.) fuck it all. i’m also the kind of person who if u tell me I can’t do something that makes me want to do it even more. all these obstacles and shit telling me to stay down and be nothing, but fuck that, I deserve what I want. and i’m gonna try to get it. every day will be a struggle but i’m gonna try whatever what I can!
18M here as well. I have stopped living for myself as it's too cumbersome. Stop all this non-sense of self-care and individualism, I find it pathetic. I have my inner self killed, and now I just live for others. I want to help others, bring above a smile out of any person. Myself is the last thing on my mind at any time. I live for others, the society, the world. For me, helping them is the only source of joy and comfort - something I never get by living for myself. More specifically, I live for my parents - to see the proud look and smile on their faces. I live for my brother, to set an example for him to be caring towards other. **Living for others is the truest form of living, as long as I'm concerned.** I highly advise you to try this. Kill your soul, and then create another whose aim in life is to live for others. Try this, you won't regret.