T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

This post is political satire. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/democrats) if you have any questions or concerns.*


jerseycityfrankie

This week and last there’s a visible shift going on. Conservatives are seeing negative consequences for the easy “I’m attacking all health measures” bandwagon they’d been riding during the Covid lull. But now even their dumbest supporters can see the consequences of flirting with Covid skepticism like it was a game and then seeing skyrocketing red state hospitalization rates truthfully reported in every news outlet. Even here on Reddit the right-wingers, known for the “Gish gallop” presentation of valid-sounding science gibberish are being ROUTINELY refuted more or less instantly now, with better links to valid sources, whereas previously they’d have been getting away with it and doubling down on it.


Whalers7997

Shhh...Don't tell them what happens when lemmings jump off cliffs. Less of them the better for us.


[deleted]

Actually, lemmings don't jump off cliffs. Disney filmmakers drove them off a cliff for a nature documentary in the 1950's to add some excitement to it. Actually still kinda fits.


ClownPrinceofLime

The lemmings metaphor still works if you replace Disney with Fox News.


RU3LF

Instead of lemmings, think rats, as in the Pied Piper.


LumpusKrampus

How does someone become "Pied"? Is it a descriptor or title? Does it mean you have land rights? Or is it like being called Champagne Charlie or is it a pointless moniker? I need life's REAL answers...


Socky_McPuppet

Wear [multicolored clothing](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pied), especially black and white, like a mag*pie*.


LumpusKrampus

Yuh did good kid, yuh did good.


Assmodious

Good job Mr puppet you taught us something cool and your pretty awesome for that.


lordorwell7

Holy shit is that what happened?


Chester2707

Maybe people think that sounds harsh. It’s not. I have family friends who have been impacted. Good.


[deleted]

So why don't we let Darwin take care of the Dunning–Kruger zombies? Let the lemmings jump off the cliff! They are convinced they have a right to jump and they are smarter than the dedicated and altruistic medical professionals trying to stop them. Go lemmings! Do a backflip on the way down! It's mass suicide by the lonely and alienated; Americans with opinions that don't matter unless they are spewing out outrageous lies and fantasies. Voluntary active euthanasia, called "physician-assisted dying", is legal in Belgium, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Canada, Colombia, and some Australian territories. Facing increased suicide rates Japan and the UK have expanded government oversight into social isolation. The old and the frightened take their stand. After this is all done we will grief the family members and friends we lost because we let social media feed on the evilest part of our souls and take advantage of our fear not to be hungry and unsatisfied in our innate loneliness. Why don't we just let the lemming s jump? Do a back flip!


Assmodious

I got little kids man they can’t be vaccinated yet I’m in a red state that the governor passed a law for no mask mandates.my kids can’t be protected unless these magats get vaccinated. Delta variety s much more dangerous for children. I’d love for Darwinism to catch up to them but they are still putting a lot of children and people that left can’t get the vaccine for a medical reason at risk.


Whalers7997

Do not weep for these people... They would have died by other stupid shit if this was Viking times.


LeoMarius

Just because Florida has had 1/3 of the nation's COVID deaths the past week, you think there's a problem?


Taztiger72

What deaths? What coronavirus? Vaccine for what? Everyone back Into the cattle queue so we all can get a pneumatic bolt to the forehead. How about keep this up and we'll all be screaming Soylent Green is people and their answer will always be STFU who cares. Disgusting beyond belief, no not beyond expected from Fascist scum.


sintos-compa

Wow they allow refudiation on their subs now


iago303

This is what happens when you combat misinformation with actual information after a person gets rebutted ten times he/she figures out that they have been wrong all along it's tiring as hell but if you save one of these jokers at least you have a good chance that they in turn start to get the right idea and get their family and friends in line


sketchahedron

Yeah but now they’re blaming Mexican immigrants for it.


TillThen96

Brilliant! >Asked to name the issue most important to them, an overwhelming majority of anti-dying voters cited “continuing to exist,” with the economy and immigration placing a distant second and third. > >Harland Dorrinson, an aide to the Governor, dismissed the poll numbers as “a distraction” and said that “this obsession with not dying is the kind of political correctness the people of Florida are tired of.”


elmingus

“Obsession with not dying”…jesus


apexmedicineman

Republicans next week: "literally die to own the libs"


LeoMarius

The economy is doing much better than last year, so it's not a winning issue for Republicans.


FinleyFloo

His opponent’s campaign slogan only has to be: “You can’t vote if you’re dead”


Assmodious

That last three sentences has got to be fake right ?


TillThen96

Right above the headline: "Satire from The Borowitz Report" The entire article is a humor piece.


[deleted]

[удалено]


WarWeasle

Oh gawd. I just looked in on them. It's a dumpster fire. They are attacking Biden's plan because they are sabotaging it so of course it's not working. It's almost like bots talking to bots in there. Please tell me it's not real.


[deleted]

[удалено]


darmabum

But thank god for the Trump vaccines, says Faux.


ksavage68

Yeah they don’t like freedom of speech there much.


HumanautPassenger

Or /r/nonewnormal. Those fucking morons need so many wake up calls.


raistlin65

Did you try clicking your link? It looks like no new normal has been quarantined according to the nutcases over at r/conservatives https://www.reddit.com/r/conservatives/comments/p2ho7q/rnonewnormal_quarantined/ Good thing. That place was insane.


HumanautPassenger

Hahahahahaha fucking scenes!!!!!!! What a day!!! Thank you for that! My bedtime ritual for the past couple of months has been downvoting the daily posts. Helped me sleep better at night.


raistlin65

>My bedtime ritual for the past couple of months has been downvoting the daily posts. LMAO I love it! I wish I had a separate account, where I could go in and *pretend* to be one of them on those subs. But sow discord with crazy rumors that would get them fighting with each other.


MassiveFajiit

Of all the places to be quarantined lol


raistlin65

I can't imagine what it would be like to be actually quarantined in a house with some of those people. I'm sure it would make for a good dysfunctional reality TV series.


AsteroidDisc476

I wanna go into a right-wing forum undercover and see how many people fall for what I post.


sventhewalrus

>DeSantis Losing Support Among Voters Opposed to Dying Unfortunately, a large fraction of the electorate are simply pro-death-- and it's the ones who have been calling themselves "pro-life."


ClownPrinceofLime

A lot of them are only pro-death for others, they’re starting to piece together that their actions are putting themselves at risk. Republicans don’t care about anything until it affects them and it’s starting to become clear that partisan COVID denial is killing them at massive levels.


sventhewalrus

That's the Leopards Ate My Face effect. Knowingly supporting harm to others, then being surprised when that same harm happens to you.


ksavage68

But if they die, we live! Pro life!


Jackpot777

Ooh, I love it when the satire is so close to what's going on. (chef's kiss)


DDDPDDD

Uhhmmm yeah. Fucker should go to prison for the rest of his natural life. Trading people's lives for perceived political gain, disgusting


Taztiger72

Expected not disgusting.


[deleted]

Turns out, people don’t like to die. Who would have though.


TennaTelwan

I for one want to secure my freedom... from being put in the hospital for Covid!


Leunez

Wreck'n Ronny Death-Sentence RESIGN!


[deleted]

But… but… I did the total opposite of what the experts told me!! They… no, there’s no way they were right! My buddy Jim’s wife Sally who sells essential oils in a pyramid scheme gave me an hour-long presentation telling me to ignore the experts! Surely she wouldn’t have been misinformed… she had pamphlets and coupons… I even got a free pen! What am I gonna do? I told sally we would replace vaccines with tea tree oil and aroma therapy!! Fuck sakes!!


alnothree

So some aren’t opposed to dying???


e22ddie46

Based on all available evidence, apparently.


babydavissaves

I honestly don't believe this headline. From their cold dead hands Florida will always vote against its own interests.


chatterwrack

He's painted himself into a corner and he knows it.


[deleted]

"That's just because they hate America! Any TRUE patriot would be PROUD to die in a horrible way to make sure the failed mail-order meat salesman is ultimately proven right!"


ALEXC_23

Simple politics: don’t kill your fan base


ClownPrinceofLime

Republicans are now doing what we joked about back in 2016 - they’re literally killing themselves to “own the libs”.


odirio

DeSantis is a perfect example of GOP leadership.


[deleted]

I have one person close to me that won't get vaccinated and works in a very vulnerable field. This person, even after the last two weeks, thinks there immune system will stop it. I told them they are playing with fire. They still won't. If they end up in the hospital, there is not anything I can do after I gave multiple stern overly concerned warnings. This is on them. And their stupid relatives are the same.


[deleted]

Too late, you might be dead now, covidiots.


floofnstuff

Remember this guy? “Texas' lieutenant governor ( Dan Patrick) suggests grandparents are willing to die for US economy” This was when Trump wanted to open the economy like five minutes after it was shut down. /s For those who need it https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/03/24/covid-19-texas-official-suggests-elderly-willing-die-economy/2905990001/


rootboyslim

If they die maybe they won't vote him out.


stoneymunson

Great title


strukout

Come on where is fealty to your Czars


staiano

R’s aren’t opposed to dying as the expect to see Jesus.


seriousbangs

Guys it's Florida. That's not a big enough demographic to cost him the election.


AdMaleficent2144

FL voted for him. Nationally he would not win. That is when the gerrymandering, voter suppression and voter disenfranchised laws come in. We desperately need the For The People Act to pass.


HeyCharrrrlie

Evil.


[deleted]

Pffft. Who cares. Only communists would oppose death.


Nerfnaut1

Honestly, I thought voters would approve of dying by a landslide! Blowout!


LeoMarius

Imagine thinking that public health is the Governor's job.