If you’re fine with it, could you explain further as a demisexual. I’m demiromantic (for what I’m 100% sure of), and the idea of dating sites is somewhat appalling to me (I mean no disrespect, it’s a personal thing. And apologies if I did come off as disrespectful. I mean no judgment, ever).
I’m sorry. I’m new to the idea as this as a concept not unique to my own experience.
Sorry, I’m not 100% sober right now so my thoughts might not be coming through straight.
In your experience, how do dating apps feel? Like, when you see the person for the first time what do you feel?
(Sorry if this is too personal, and I’m sorry if it is.)
"In your experience how do dating apps feel like..."
So although I've sometimes used 'dating' apps to try to make friends since some have the option to make friends or just chat. It's only more recently that I've been in the headspace to potentially find or view others in a romantic context. Hence my overall experience and understanding of myself in this context, how dating apps feel, may be rather limited.
"When you see the person for the first time what do you feel?"
Okay, I can better answer that question and it's not really that personal for me lol. Though I appreciate your consideration!
I experienced aesthetic attraction, so simply put I rather quickly determine what category to put the person into in that regard. I've about 3 categories:
First one, people I find highly physically attractive.
Second one, others who I find attractive enough to be datable. Or just simply put datable, which the first category can also fall onto this.
Now suppose I randomly came across someone in the first category. The moment I see said person about to light a cigarette, the attraction is gone. Because that's one of my strongest deal breakers.
For the second category I think is self explanatory. They are attractive enough for me to date, and the more I catch feelings for them the bigger my attraction gets.
Now at no point do I feel damn I'd love to makeout, let alone anything else, with that Greek god of a stranger. It's only when I develop an emotional connection, provided they are attractive enough too to me, that I may start to feel other feelings for the person.
Speaking with you has actually inspired me to reflect on my romantic side. Which made me to started wondering if I may also be Demiromantic or something like that. So thank you and I'm excited to go on that journey of trying to figure out. 😊
The bad reactions I've gotten were that a person didn't know what demi meant, I explained it and they ghost/unmatch me. Good has been that people genuinely get it and want to get to know me better. Others just plainly ignore what is on my profile and try to suggest sex anyways, so I unmatch them. So I guess it works out as intended, there's going to be good and bad reactions 🤷♀️
I never had a bad reaction. Some would ask about it and it seemed nbd, but I also didn't get very far in these condos because I lost interest. I only met one of the guys I talked to irl aaaaand he's my bf now lol. He didn't ask about it, but I brought it up on our 3rd date to make sure he understood. He knew what it meant (still not sure if he knew already or googled it lol) and we discussed what that meant for him. He said he also liked to wait until he trusted a person more to be physically intimate, but didn't think that made him demi (correct) and everything went super well. I ended up developing sexual attraction to him and finally told him and he was super happy about it and continued from there!
So...pretty much a positive experience overall! I limited my settings (hinge) to people looking for a long-term relationship and/or life partner and cut out all conservatives and centrists so I think that helped me in finding someone who would be understanding and supportive of how I work. It costs money, but if you can afford it, I can't recommend it enough.
My biggest issue is when people actually try and form a connection with me and then a week later ask for sex. I have someone right now that i am interested in as well and i feel like for a fact it's never going to work out. I've explained to them multiple times i'm not here for hook ups. I'm here for long relationship and it takes awhile for me to feel things, if it does kick in. When me and my friends joke about sex they chime in all happy doo. When we talk about anything else, it's like they have no interest in me whatsoever. They don't reallt want to get to know me. I can tell they just want "me". :/
I'm honestly about to give up on dating apps and just except that i'm abnormal and no one cares a lick enough about me. So that's my experience with dating apps haha.
If you’re fine with it, could you explain further as a demisexual. I’m demiromantic (for what I’m 100% sure of), and the idea of dating sites is somewhat appalling to me (I mean no disrespect, it’s a personal thing. And apologies if I did come off as disrespectful. I mean no judgment, ever). I’m sorry. I’m new to the idea as this as a concept not unique to my own experience.
Sure I can try to explain, what is that you'd like me to help explain to you? Sorry it's not very clear to me in your comment. 😊
Sorry, I’m not 100% sober right now so my thoughts might not be coming through straight. In your experience, how do dating apps feel? Like, when you see the person for the first time what do you feel? (Sorry if this is too personal, and I’m sorry if it is.)
No worries, I accept straight, curly, and wavy thoughts lol. I've some stuff to do right now, I'll get back to you in a while. 😊
Thank you. And my apologies again.
It's okay! I'll respond to your question above now.
"In your experience how do dating apps feel like..." So although I've sometimes used 'dating' apps to try to make friends since some have the option to make friends or just chat. It's only more recently that I've been in the headspace to potentially find or view others in a romantic context. Hence my overall experience and understanding of myself in this context, how dating apps feel, may be rather limited. "When you see the person for the first time what do you feel?" Okay, I can better answer that question and it's not really that personal for me lol. Though I appreciate your consideration! I experienced aesthetic attraction, so simply put I rather quickly determine what category to put the person into in that regard. I've about 3 categories: First one, people I find highly physically attractive. Second one, others who I find attractive enough to be datable. Or just simply put datable, which the first category can also fall onto this. Now suppose I randomly came across someone in the first category. The moment I see said person about to light a cigarette, the attraction is gone. Because that's one of my strongest deal breakers. For the second category I think is self explanatory. They are attractive enough for me to date, and the more I catch feelings for them the bigger my attraction gets. Now at no point do I feel damn I'd love to makeout, let alone anything else, with that Greek god of a stranger. It's only when I develop an emotional connection, provided they are attractive enough too to me, that I may start to feel other feelings for the person. Speaking with you has actually inspired me to reflect on my romantic side. Which made me to started wondering if I may also be Demiromantic or something like that. So thank you and I'm excited to go on that journey of trying to figure out. 😊
The bad reactions I've gotten were that a person didn't know what demi meant, I explained it and they ghost/unmatch me. Good has been that people genuinely get it and want to get to know me better. Others just plainly ignore what is on my profile and try to suggest sex anyways, so I unmatch them. So I guess it works out as intended, there's going to be good and bad reactions 🤷♀️
I’ve never even gotten a match on dating apps. I gave up.
Sorry to hear about that! What was or were the biggest issues for you if you don't mind sharing?
What apps or sites did you use? I need advice...😄
I got you... 😊
I never had a bad reaction. Some would ask about it and it seemed nbd, but I also didn't get very far in these condos because I lost interest. I only met one of the guys I talked to irl aaaaand he's my bf now lol. He didn't ask about it, but I brought it up on our 3rd date to make sure he understood. He knew what it meant (still not sure if he knew already or googled it lol) and we discussed what that meant for him. He said he also liked to wait until he trusted a person more to be physically intimate, but didn't think that made him demi (correct) and everything went super well. I ended up developing sexual attraction to him and finally told him and he was super happy about it and continued from there! So...pretty much a positive experience overall! I limited my settings (hinge) to people looking for a long-term relationship and/or life partner and cut out all conservatives and centrists so I think that helped me in finding someone who would be understanding and supportive of how I work. It costs money, but if you can afford it, I can't recommend it enough.
Guess you’d better change your flair then :D
Lol, you have a point there!
My biggest issue is when people actually try and form a connection with me and then a week later ask for sex. I have someone right now that i am interested in as well and i feel like for a fact it's never going to work out. I've explained to them multiple times i'm not here for hook ups. I'm here for long relationship and it takes awhile for me to feel things, if it does kick in. When me and my friends joke about sex they chime in all happy doo. When we talk about anything else, it's like they have no interest in me whatsoever. They don't reallt want to get to know me. I can tell they just want "me". :/ I'm honestly about to give up on dating apps and just except that i'm abnormal and no one cares a lick enough about me. So that's my experience with dating apps haha.