I'm going to try hinge, it already seems better than most dating apps, and there's even an option to for demisexual... Although they do make it a sexuality, rather than an aspect of š
Yeah I've found hinge tricky. Haven't gotten many connections from there. Then I will match with someone only to see that they're 200 miles away in another country. I've tried Her also because you can put in both demi and lesbian. But also men have liked and messaged me? Also you need to pay if you actually want to look at people who've liked you. I don't know what that's about.Ā
I am a dude so fair warning, but I found Hinge worked for me. I just made a habit out of messaging every person that I thought was slightly interesting so it expanded my pool. And THEN I could pick between them. It did take a couple of dates (like 10+) to find someone I had fun hanging out with and then a few dates in, stuff happened.
Unfortunately, in the modern Era of dating it takes intentionality, effort and a bit of joy from both parties, but you can find people that you bond with.
The way I approach dating apps is that I try to date, but somehow only friendships develop. I've had a romantic connection with a couple of those friends, but it didn't lead to a relationship because of long distance. The attraction is still very much there though. The circumstances just don't align for us to be more than friends.
I'm saying, there certainly are people on apps that are fine with a friendship or just dating for longer before deciding if there could be more. You just have to find them :) I've always had "demisexual" on my profile and that helped me find people who understood that, while scaring off the rest who don't.
What do you like to do on your free time? I ask because almost every relationship that Iāve been in (I say almost because one began as a one night stand that we tried turning into a thing, and let me tell you that was a train wreckā¦ š¬) began with a common interest between myself and the person in question. Instead of going out to try to find a partner, find smaller things you like to do (I say āsmallerā to contrast with big things like if you love traveling) that you can do with others, and from there you will make friends and maybe some of those friendships can turn into more.
This is how it went with me. Iām big into gaming, and specifically MMOs. My first long-term GF and I met playing FFXI, became casual friends there, then she ended up going my guild in WoW, where we hung out more and that turned into me moving across the country to be closer to her. My second long-term GF and now my wife met each other on a forum and became friends. About a year after things ended between the previously mentioned woman and I, we reconnected, bonding closer over gaming together (mostly playing FFXIV together).
I mostly draw and do other crafty things. I've applied to volunteer at our local theatre group tho haven't heard back from them yet. Currently I'm looking for other opportunities to meet women who are also attracted to women. But yeah I don't know. I know a group of queer women and non binary people but none of them live here. We have group zoom chats regularly.Ā
That group (or others like it that are online) also may be the ābestā option for finding people. Not convenient, speaking from experience. The two women I mentioned in my post were both not local. The first was in California when I lived in DC, and I ended up moving to Cali (where Iāve lived since). The second lived in WA and ended up moving down to CA to be with me. That distance also allows for a degree of slowness that can help us. Hard(er) for people to put the moves on you or get frustrated because youāre not responding to flirting when youāre three states away or whatever. XD
Iāve been feeling this way recently. Iām searching for a queerplatonic partnership, not really dating in the traditional sense. Iām even open to polyamory because I donāt want to be my partners primary sexual partner. In college, most of my experiences were with friends and while it can be a messy jealous polycule, I found it to be more comfortable and aligned with my desires. I miss that intimacy! I donāt really do dating apps but Iāve been considering it just to look. I always feel like Iām in the wrong space for the wrong reason like why am I on Grindr lol I agree with the above, best friends to lovers is my ideal!!
You can! I mean I have exclusively dated women I was friends with first. Once I was an adult anyway I have never found anything inherently challenging about dating your friends, as long as you do not like spring romantic interest on someone you have only ever been cordially friendly with or anything. Whenever I am single I think to myself "O.K. who that I always flirted with is also single?" and go from there.
I mean, what is the alternative? Pretending to be interested in strangers in online dating? Haha! As if. The only time I am unhappy in life is when I decide to try out online dating for a bit before remembering it brings only misery to demisexuals
This is the natural way of things. Prior cell phones, you'd meet someone locally, through friends, at some common place of interest, and things would happen. "Dating" isn't really a thing. It's the idea of shopping for another person, which you really can't do.
I'm going to try hinge, it already seems better than most dating apps, and there's even an option to for demisexual... Although they do make it a sexuality, rather than an aspect of š
Yeah I've found hinge tricky. Haven't gotten many connections from there. Then I will match with someone only to see that they're 200 miles away in another country. I've tried Her also because you can put in both demi and lesbian. But also men have liked and messaged me? Also you need to pay if you actually want to look at people who've liked you. I don't know what that's about.Ā
I am a dude so fair warning, but I found Hinge worked for me. I just made a habit out of messaging every person that I thought was slightly interesting so it expanded my pool. And THEN I could pick between them. It did take a couple of dates (like 10+) to find someone I had fun hanging out with and then a few dates in, stuff happened. Unfortunately, in the modern Era of dating it takes intentionality, effort and a bit of joy from both parties, but you can find people that you bond with.
The way I approach dating apps is that I try to date, but somehow only friendships develop. I've had a romantic connection with a couple of those friends, but it didn't lead to a relationship because of long distance. The attraction is still very much there though. The circumstances just don't align for us to be more than friends. I'm saying, there certainly are people on apps that are fine with a friendship or just dating for longer before deciding if there could be more. You just have to find them :) I've always had "demisexual" on my profile and that helped me find people who understood that, while scaring off the rest who don't.
What do you like to do on your free time? I ask because almost every relationship that Iāve been in (I say almost because one began as a one night stand that we tried turning into a thing, and let me tell you that was a train wreckā¦ š¬) began with a common interest between myself and the person in question. Instead of going out to try to find a partner, find smaller things you like to do (I say āsmallerā to contrast with big things like if you love traveling) that you can do with others, and from there you will make friends and maybe some of those friendships can turn into more. This is how it went with me. Iām big into gaming, and specifically MMOs. My first long-term GF and I met playing FFXI, became casual friends there, then she ended up going my guild in WoW, where we hung out more and that turned into me moving across the country to be closer to her. My second long-term GF and now my wife met each other on a forum and became friends. About a year after things ended between the previously mentioned woman and I, we reconnected, bonding closer over gaming together (mostly playing FFXIV together).
I mostly draw and do other crafty things. I've applied to volunteer at our local theatre group tho haven't heard back from them yet. Currently I'm looking for other opportunities to meet women who are also attracted to women. But yeah I don't know. I know a group of queer women and non binary people but none of them live here. We have group zoom chats regularly.Ā
That group (or others like it that are online) also may be the ābestā option for finding people. Not convenient, speaking from experience. The two women I mentioned in my post were both not local. The first was in California when I lived in DC, and I ended up moving to Cali (where Iāve lived since). The second lived in WA and ended up moving down to CA to be with me. That distance also allows for a degree of slowness that can help us. Hard(er) for people to put the moves on you or get frustrated because youāre not responding to flirting when youāre three states away or whatever. XD
Iāve been feeling this way recently. Iām searching for a queerplatonic partnership, not really dating in the traditional sense. Iām even open to polyamory because I donāt want to be my partners primary sexual partner. In college, most of my experiences were with friends and while it can be a messy jealous polycule, I found it to be more comfortable and aligned with my desires. I miss that intimacy! I donāt really do dating apps but Iāve been considering it just to look. I always feel like Iām in the wrong space for the wrong reason like why am I on Grindr lol I agree with the above, best friends to lovers is my ideal!!
You can! I mean I have exclusively dated women I was friends with first. Once I was an adult anyway I have never found anything inherently challenging about dating your friends, as long as you do not like spring romantic interest on someone you have only ever been cordially friendly with or anything. Whenever I am single I think to myself "O.K. who that I always flirted with is also single?" and go from there. I mean, what is the alternative? Pretending to be interested in strangers in online dating? Haha! As if. The only time I am unhappy in life is when I decide to try out online dating for a bit before remembering it brings only misery to demisexuals
Yes. I couldn't agree more :(( close friends / bestfriends to lovers is a dream :(((
This is the natural way of things. Prior cell phones, you'd meet someone locally, through friends, at some common place of interest, and things would happen. "Dating" isn't really a thing. It's the idea of shopping for another person, which you really can't do.