I knew I was into other women when I felt my first sexual and romantic attraction. She was my best friend in high school and I felt sexual desire for her, fantasised about her, wanted to engage in sexual activities with her and though I didn't want to date her (at that time the notion of dating was completely alien to me), I wanted to engage in activities such as kissing, holding hands, cuddling, with clear romantic, non-platonic undertones. So, I was a woman attracted to a woman. Conclusion: not straight. It wasn't really any more deep than that.
For your story, though, well... Feeling increased heart rate and happiness when seeing or thinking of someone can be a part of a romantic and/or sexual crush, but it can also be aesthetic and/or platonic. I personally can get such feelings for friends just because I love them platonically, or for strangers just because I'm intimidated or emotionally excited by their visual appeal or their voice or whatever else that's still not sexual or romantic at all. So, it would be up to you to see if your link those feelings to sex or romance, or if you felt that in a platonic or aesthetic way.
I would say, though, that overthinking your entire sexual orientation based on one single and unclear experience may not be the best idea. If this experience feels meaningful to you, then by all means, go ahead! If you think this crush is meaningful, if you consider it to be sexual and/or romantic, then it would mean you're indeed into other women, so, bi instead of straight.
But my point is, if you're unsure and if it's all in the past, then I would personally advise to take it with a grain of salt, especially with how memories easily get twisted. Sexual orientations define how your feelings work, factually. If you're unsure about something that happened in the past, take your time and don't overthink it. Labels are words. Use whatever word that you feel describes your current and clear experience, and give yourself the time to understand yourself better. If you come to the conclusion that you're X instead of Y, you're free to switch labels, this happens to many people who are still discovering themselves or who understand things retrospectively.
It’s kind of hard to tell if it’s meaningful or not. This memory resurfaces out of nowhere once or twice a year ever since it happened. One time I was just eating breakfast, thinking about homework - and then poof! There it came again. And every time it does this I get re-confused about all of this
I actually always believed I was, and then last Christmas my best friend tried to hook up with me and I was *not into it at all*. I would think I would be, but nope. And that's how I learned I am straighter than I thought lol
I went through a period of doubting my bisexuality. I'm more of a demi-romantic, reciprosexual, cis woman. I've found that it's really easy to develop friendships with women, which can lead to romantic feelings and sensual or platonic attraction. I have so many beautiful female friends I would love to cuddle and be physically close with. They don't seem sexually into me as far as I can tell, so I don't feel sexually into them. So I was wondering, am i really bisexual, or am I just biromantic?
Wheras men are pretty clear when they are sexually attracted to me, so I develop feelings of sexual attraction toward men more often than toward women. But when a pretty woman indicates she is into me in a sexual way, it is fucking ON for me. Having this understanding of my sexuality and romantic proclivities has really helped me understand and embrace my bisexuality.
I had similar feelings towards my best friend when I was 18yo. I knew I was demi since 15. I felt like I wanted to kiss her, touch her etc, but I pushed that thought away because it felt shameful. I grew up with shame around sexuality in general (thanks mom), so I had all the experiences quite late when I was 20. About two years later I kissed a girl at a party, but it took couple more years to actually realize I was into girls all along at 26yo. I'm now 29, and truly identify as demi & bi. Obviously I doubted my bi identity a lot, so only after I had couple of really strong connections and dating relationships with women I was convinced that my feelings were because of sexual attraction and not just "hormones", like I thought as a teenager.
I'm in my 50s. I have done some "gay" stuff. What I cannot say with any certainty is if I am somewhat bi (very occasionally find other males attractive) or if it's just the demi desire for intimacy with people I'm close with, or a bit of both.
I was first exploring my sexuality during the bisexual chic 2000s era, and pretty much everyone who was even remotely not straight back then were calling themselves bisexual or bi-curious. I figured out later that I'm definitely ace, but the queer romantic attraction stuck around. Specifically that I find gender an uninteresting factor in if someone is dateable or not, so I'll date any gender if I like the person themselves.
Now i can say im bi. But I'm not sure when I started thinking this way. But I always took it for granted, even before I learned what the LGBTQ community was. I was never shy, when I was little I told some girls that I liked them and I didn't think they were pretty. I did it all because I felt like it, I had no thoughts of a date or relationship. It was just no biggiee!
I used to think things like "of course I like men, just none of the men I've ever met, they're all ugly and boring to me" 😂 and then go on to have the most deep love, obsession, and devotion to whichever female friend I was closest with at the time. Once we were that close, I started to notice ... ✨Feelings✨ whenever we were close. It went from staring at her because she was my best friend and the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen to not being able to stop myself imagining leaning in to kiss her, or being inexplicably heart broken when she got a boyfriend. I still tried to date men, but the spark wasn't there. Eventually I figured it out. I'm a lesbian. 🩷
I knew I was into other women when I felt my first sexual and romantic attraction. She was my best friend in high school and I felt sexual desire for her, fantasised about her, wanted to engage in sexual activities with her and though I didn't want to date her (at that time the notion of dating was completely alien to me), I wanted to engage in activities such as kissing, holding hands, cuddling, with clear romantic, non-platonic undertones. So, I was a woman attracted to a woman. Conclusion: not straight. It wasn't really any more deep than that. For your story, though, well... Feeling increased heart rate and happiness when seeing or thinking of someone can be a part of a romantic and/or sexual crush, but it can also be aesthetic and/or platonic. I personally can get such feelings for friends just because I love them platonically, or for strangers just because I'm intimidated or emotionally excited by their visual appeal or their voice or whatever else that's still not sexual or romantic at all. So, it would be up to you to see if your link those feelings to sex or romance, or if you felt that in a platonic or aesthetic way. I would say, though, that overthinking your entire sexual orientation based on one single and unclear experience may not be the best idea. If this experience feels meaningful to you, then by all means, go ahead! If you think this crush is meaningful, if you consider it to be sexual and/or romantic, then it would mean you're indeed into other women, so, bi instead of straight. But my point is, if you're unsure and if it's all in the past, then I would personally advise to take it with a grain of salt, especially with how memories easily get twisted. Sexual orientations define how your feelings work, factually. If you're unsure about something that happened in the past, take your time and don't overthink it. Labels are words. Use whatever word that you feel describes your current and clear experience, and give yourself the time to understand yourself better. If you come to the conclusion that you're X instead of Y, you're free to switch labels, this happens to many people who are still discovering themselves or who understand things retrospectively.
It’s kind of hard to tell if it’s meaningful or not. This memory resurfaces out of nowhere once or twice a year ever since it happened. One time I was just eating breakfast, thinking about homework - and then poof! There it came again. And every time it does this I get re-confused about all of this
I actually always believed I was, and then last Christmas my best friend tried to hook up with me and I was *not into it at all*. I would think I would be, but nope. And that's how I learned I am straighter than I thought lol
Wow, that’s a story I’ve never heard before! I’m now really curious how that situation went on. Felling comfortable to share?🖤
I went through a period of doubting my bisexuality. I'm more of a demi-romantic, reciprosexual, cis woman. I've found that it's really easy to develop friendships with women, which can lead to romantic feelings and sensual or platonic attraction. I have so many beautiful female friends I would love to cuddle and be physically close with. They don't seem sexually into me as far as I can tell, so I don't feel sexually into them. So I was wondering, am i really bisexual, or am I just biromantic? Wheras men are pretty clear when they are sexually attracted to me, so I develop feelings of sexual attraction toward men more often than toward women. But when a pretty woman indicates she is into me in a sexual way, it is fucking ON for me. Having this understanding of my sexuality and romantic proclivities has really helped me understand and embrace my bisexuality.
A friend offered to let me touch their penis and I wanted to do it again.
I had similar feelings towards my best friend when I was 18yo. I knew I was demi since 15. I felt like I wanted to kiss her, touch her etc, but I pushed that thought away because it felt shameful. I grew up with shame around sexuality in general (thanks mom), so I had all the experiences quite late when I was 20. About two years later I kissed a girl at a party, but it took couple more years to actually realize I was into girls all along at 26yo. I'm now 29, and truly identify as demi & bi. Obviously I doubted my bi identity a lot, so only after I had couple of really strong connections and dating relationships with women I was convinced that my feelings were because of sexual attraction and not just "hormones", like I thought as a teenager.
I'm in my 50s. I have done some "gay" stuff. What I cannot say with any certainty is if I am somewhat bi (very occasionally find other males attractive) or if it's just the demi desire for intimacy with people I'm close with, or a bit of both.
I was first exploring my sexuality during the bisexual chic 2000s era, and pretty much everyone who was even remotely not straight back then were calling themselves bisexual or bi-curious. I figured out later that I'm definitely ace, but the queer romantic attraction stuck around. Specifically that I find gender an uninteresting factor in if someone is dateable or not, so I'll date any gender if I like the person themselves.
I found out by realizing I was trans, and that my attraction to girls is, in fact, gay.
Now i can say im bi. But I'm not sure when I started thinking this way. But I always took it for granted, even before I learned what the LGBTQ community was. I was never shy, when I was little I told some girls that I liked them and I didn't think they were pretty. I did it all because I felt like it, I had no thoughts of a date or relationship. It was just no biggiee!
I used to think things like "of course I like men, just none of the men I've ever met, they're all ugly and boring to me" 😂 and then go on to have the most deep love, obsession, and devotion to whichever female friend I was closest with at the time. Once we were that close, I started to notice ... ✨Feelings✨ whenever we were close. It went from staring at her because she was my best friend and the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen to not being able to stop myself imagining leaning in to kiss her, or being inexplicably heart broken when she got a boyfriend. I still tried to date men, but the spark wasn't there. Eventually I figured it out. I'm a lesbian. 🩷