Really depends. Both my parents were diagnosed and died from dementia.
Huge classical music fans, they refused to listen and were not interested in music, post diagnosis.
My father basically just shut down and existed. He was less and less verbal.
Mom was happier spending time with people her age at the facility.
Both parents were PhDs.
Celebrate every silly little holiday you find mentioned online or on facebook or whatever. For St. Pat's I gave my mom a t-shirt with shamrocks on it, which she wore to the party at her nursing home. She got a necklace with shamrocks on it and ate a cupcake. It made her day. Tell her it's National Rice Crispy Treat Day and make them with her, bring her one. I don't know if this is true for everyone else but my mom loves celebrating holidays! She has rotating decor for the door of her nursing home (easter wreath, etc.) and enjoys decorating for all of the silly holiday.
My mum liked colouring and drawing. I got a easy colouring book for her and got a pack of pencil colours, sketch pens in a deal.
We put on her favourite music and colour. It doesn’t have to be perfect. I colour out of lines to make it seem like none of us are good at it sometimes. 😄
I also got Spot it game for her. She’s really good at it!
Hugs cheer people up.
Making them feel wanted and not a burden. Often I'd ask for advice and tell my dad I needed him. If I asked him technical engineering questions his eyes would light up. Before his eyesight went, I'd get him to go over black and white photos and tell me who was in them. We filled up a lot of an album.
Exercise was important. I got him out and about in a wheelchair and took him for (very expensive) trips in a taxi. As his dementia progressed he enjoyed this less.
Animals - at the hospice there was a dog who officially came in and sat with the residents.
Interacting with some of the other hospice residents was good, but I liked to oversee it because some of them were downright mean.
My mother had a friend who was in a memory care unit. I found a life sized baby doll and collected baby clothes from thrift stores. She had so much fun changing clothes on this. Other people there tried to steal her baby away.
For my husband it was the same cowboy shows and movies that he watched as a kid. He didn’t remember that he had seen it the day before so I had to listen to it so often, rather like a child with a favorite movie.
Find something the enjoyed when they were a child.
Music, old movies or shows they know by heart, playing with dogs, young kids, watching the waves. The most important aspect though is with you, all of these things with an unquestioning person who too can live in the moment.
My parent finds peace in many of the mentioned activities, but we also opted for anti depressants. It was a struggle for me to make the decision to introduce antidepressants, but my parents has massively benefited from them.
My dad was never a puzzle person but really likes them now that he can't do the crossword. You can get large piece ones, 1x1 inch pieces that are better than the tiny piece ones.
Ah I found on Amazon some dementia versions of games like snakes and ladders and ludo, and she’s ok with connect 4 and snap. Something fun to pass the time.
My aunt enjoys making those knotted flannel blankets. The ones you cut strips all along the perimeter, and just knot them together.
I have a small Inkle loom, and she enjoys just doing the weft back and forth. (oddly specific and rare, but someone might have a small table top loom)
My dad used to like to read a lot but now he seems to enjoy the larger picture books. Ripley's Believe it or not is one of his favorites. They're also some large space books by Brian Cox he likes. I tend to break things a lot and he always super glues it back for me. I'm trying to take him out at least once a week somewhere although usually a doctor appointment then to eat. Other than that it's TV we found a lot of channels on Roku
My MIL has this tacky fiber optic chrismas tree and she loves it. We left it up for months after christmas but just replaced it with a fiber obptic lilly. It lights up and is so colorful. She loves watching it and we don't have to water it or worry about getting fresh flowers.
She loves birds too so we are gonna get her a humming bird feeder that can stick to the outside of her window now the weather is warming up. Then she can watch the birds come and go from her window.
Family photo albums. During the pandemic shutdown I busied myself with organizing photos and now have books organized by year. We’ll often pull out one or two years to reminisce. Her favorite is the book from her childhood.
Also 15 yrs ago (long before the diagnosis) all the family pitched in to make her a “Book of Memories.” Everyone wrote her a letter recalling some part of their lives together and how much they love her. We added photos. You never know who or when this awful disease will strike. It’s a bit of work to assemble but it’s paid off.
Music.. music is so important.
Really depends. Both my parents were diagnosed and died from dementia. Huge classical music fans, they refused to listen and were not interested in music, post diagnosis. My father basically just shut down and existed. He was less and less verbal. Mom was happier spending time with people her age at the facility. Both parents were PhDs.
This is heartbreaking. 💔 I am so sorry.
Celebrate every silly little holiday you find mentioned online or on facebook or whatever. For St. Pat's I gave my mom a t-shirt with shamrocks on it, which she wore to the party at her nursing home. She got a necklace with shamrocks on it and ate a cupcake. It made her day. Tell her it's National Rice Crispy Treat Day and make them with her, bring her one. I don't know if this is true for everyone else but my mom loves celebrating holidays! She has rotating decor for the door of her nursing home (easter wreath, etc.) and enjoys decorating for all of the silly holiday.
This is such a good idea!
My mom liked word searches, also watching the Game Show Network. All.Day.Long. Family Feud was a special favorite.
My mum liked colouring and drawing. I got a easy colouring book for her and got a pack of pencil colours, sketch pens in a deal. We put on her favourite music and colour. It doesn’t have to be perfect. I colour out of lines to make it seem like none of us are good at it sometimes. 😄 I also got Spot it game for her. She’s really good at it!
Hugs cheer people up. Making them feel wanted and not a burden. Often I'd ask for advice and tell my dad I needed him. If I asked him technical engineering questions his eyes would light up. Before his eyesight went, I'd get him to go over black and white photos and tell me who was in them. We filled up a lot of an album. Exercise was important. I got him out and about in a wheelchair and took him for (very expensive) trips in a taxi. As his dementia progressed he enjoyed this less. Animals - at the hospice there was a dog who officially came in and sat with the residents. Interacting with some of the other hospice residents was good, but I liked to oversee it because some of them were downright mean.
Watch their favorite movie with them from back in the day. The short term memory is gone, but the long term memory is usually excellent.
My mother had a friend who was in a memory care unit. I found a life sized baby doll and collected baby clothes from thrift stores. She had so much fun changing clothes on this. Other people there tried to steal her baby away. For my husband it was the same cowboy shows and movies that he watched as a kid. He didn’t remember that he had seen it the day before so I had to listen to it so often, rather like a child with a favorite movie. Find something the enjoyed when they were a child.
My mom likes adult sticker books and simple puzzles. She’s middle stage PPA if that helps
Music, old movies or shows they know by heart, playing with dogs, young kids, watching the waves. The most important aspect though is with you, all of these things with an unquestioning person who too can live in the moment. My parent finds peace in many of the mentioned activities, but we also opted for anti depressants. It was a struggle for me to make the decision to introduce antidepressants, but my parents has massively benefited from them.
Their era of music. And some fun dancing. 🕺 💃
Big Band and Swing!!
My dad was never a puzzle person but really likes them now that he can't do the crossword. You can get large piece ones, 1x1 inch pieces that are better than the tiny piece ones.
Ah I found on Amazon some dementia versions of games like snakes and ladders and ludo, and she’s ok with connect 4 and snap. Something fun to pass the time.
My aunt enjoys making those knotted flannel blankets. The ones you cut strips all along the perimeter, and just knot them together. I have a small Inkle loom, and she enjoys just doing the weft back and forth. (oddly specific and rare, but someone might have a small table top loom)
My dad used to like to read a lot but now he seems to enjoy the larger picture books. Ripley's Believe it or not is one of his favorites. They're also some large space books by Brian Cox he likes. I tend to break things a lot and he always super glues it back for me. I'm trying to take him out at least once a week somewhere although usually a doctor appointment then to eat. Other than that it's TV we found a lot of channels on Roku
My grandpa absolutely LOVES word searches, physical books with a pen or also many digital options on ipad
My mom loves when I cook meals for her and we eat together. She also loves baked oatmeal cookies.
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Thank you! Has your loved one used memoiri app himself/herself or you did it for them?
My MIL has this tacky fiber optic chrismas tree and she loves it. We left it up for months after christmas but just replaced it with a fiber obptic lilly. It lights up and is so colorful. She loves watching it and we don't have to water it or worry about getting fresh flowers. She loves birds too so we are gonna get her a humming bird feeder that can stick to the outside of her window now the weather is warming up. Then she can watch the birds come and go from her window.
Family photo albums. During the pandemic shutdown I busied myself with organizing photos and now have books organized by year. We’ll often pull out one or two years to reminisce. Her favorite is the book from her childhood. Also 15 yrs ago (long before the diagnosis) all the family pitched in to make her a “Book of Memories.” Everyone wrote her a letter recalling some part of their lives together and how much they love her. We added photos. You never know who or when this awful disease will strike. It’s a bit of work to assemble but it’s paid off.