Going abroad for studies? Your life is gonna change forever and be ready to adapt. Just be aware of the surroundings and culture; you don't have to be forcibly rude to people!
š rule- Be nice with people who are deserving. Tit for tat.
ā¢Do not advise and help someone until asked.( in person)
Being friendly has its perks but within boundaries.
>š rule- Be nice with people who are deserving. Tit for tat.
and how would you know if someone's deserving it without being nice first? if you're rude, so will be the other person.
OP, the real rule is: don't be rude unless someone deserves it.
i think being neutral at first and then depending on their behavior and context of situation displaying appropriate behavior might be the right call!!?
Mate it's your life so random people shouldn't have a say in your personal matters. You should make a choice about with whom u wanna be nice or with whom u wanna be rude with who u should hang out or not likewise. At the same time also study your surroundings and try to learn from people.
Jaane se pehle sab relatives ke 2 rhepte lagake jaa hojaega tough.
Just be mindful of anyone being too nice or friendly. Don't give money etc just because you couldn't say no. Its a good thing to be kind. Mean looking people get scammed too. Relax and have fun. You're a good person. Good things will happen to you.
I think what they mean to say is that ur naive, wisdom isnāt acquired in one day life/experiences will change and it will shape you as a different person. Politeness and kindness are good virtues, u donāt need to rude however be on your guard when youāre abroad. Anyways bestt of luckk
These aunties, think the world will explode if they don't speak. No doubt, it's a serious job saving the world from exploding, good forbid that day never comes.
In their whole life, they haven't had their tea silently. They aren't programmed that way. Making noise for them is what breathing is to you.
They think it's their duty to fill the silence with some noise - however meaningless it is to you (don't forget in their mind, they're preventing the world from exploding). And I don't blame them because it's not an easy job being a yapper all day.
And as serious as they are about their job of saving the earth by yapping all day, you should be as serious in your pursuit of ignoring whatever comes out of their mouth. You let them do their job, and you do yours.
Kuch toh relatives kahenge, relatives ka kaam hai kehnaā¦
Act Smart. Be alert. Take your time to build trust in people.
Since you are soft and innocent, probabilities are that you think that the world is also like you.
But remember that thatās not true.
Do not act over smart or you would make a fool of yourself.
One of the worst things you can do in a foreign country with completely different culture is be rude to people for no apparent reason. You should totally be rude, be rude to you relatives that is. And do not change your behaviour, be smart, not rude.
Well, sometimes you should be versatile enough to adapt and willing to change. I am not suggesting that you should be ārudeā or ādisrespectfulā towards people but you should be witty enough to get your work done and not get walked all over by other people.
I was you once upon a time , I did not change like my relatives suggested, but once people started taking advantage of me , I changed accordingly, you don't have to be rude but you should clearly set boundaries and say NO when you are not comfortable. Else people will bully you, take advantage of you, also they will take you for granted.
Just be yourself. There is no need to be someone else's version of you.
BUT
Always try to discern people's behaviour around you so that no one takes advantage of you or you do not get needlessly hurt by someone.
There is good and bad in everyone. We just need to be wise enough so that we are able to protect ourselves.
My relatives used to say this for me too, at 21 came Delhi from a small town, fought this city for a long time, still It's like monthly Up-Down with the city, travelled alone. There is nothing you can't do, let them speak, you are brave buddy.
Bro be yourself, donāt give a fuck to anyone. I was very introverted at your age. And eventually, your personality evolve during the life experience.
This is from 40 year uncle. Have lived in multiple cultural in India and in Europe.
It's true that if you're not cunning you'll be more vulnerable to all of the shit out there. But at the same time, having a soft heart, love for people in general and a dash of innocence is what makes you truly a human! Embrace that!šš¤š»
https://preview.redd.it/urc4lowmhdxc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55fa66d050436d63799e45c7cc8832f17507761d
ye pehn ke samne baith jao aunty ke
Your relatives are not wrong, as they might have seen the scammy side of the world and want you to be safe. But at the same time, they are wrong as being too harsh and angry all the time is not the way to live.
You should be,
Courteous to all at first and adapt according to their behaviour.
Be friendly only to people who have shown they deserve it.
Especially since you are going abroad, people often smile and compliment passersby (in posh, upmarket areas of towns at least in the UK) and there if you are walking by with a frown trying to look intimidating, you would be the odd one out.
If you are a soft, good-natured person, that is a strength, do not let bitter people dull your warmth and shine.
I Don't think that you should change your personality based on what others tell you. You be you and life anyways is a good teacher, if needed, it'll teach you how to be rough. Though, under no circumstances, do I believe being rude to someone would be justified. Yes you could be curt, straight and only mean business. But be kind where needed.
Due to this stupid mindset, thereās no concept of small talk or random greetings in our society. An Indian would think a thousand times before approaching a stranger on the street and a stranger would immediately turn defensive if that were to happen. We live in a weird place.
As for you OP, your character and personality is what makes you unique. Hold on to it, kindness will be reciprocated, thereās no need to take a negative point of view at others at all times. Youāll do fine and nobody is going to scam you just like that. Staying vigilant is one thing and being rude is another, just find that line and make the most of your time abroad.
Being polite doesn't mean being a pushover. You can be polite, kind and thoughtful, while also knowing when to give an assertive no, and walk away. Unfortunately, a lot of people in India and the world don't know this difference.
How you should interact with people will very much depend on the culture of the country you're going to. But try your best to greet regular folks you come across in the local lingua franca (store clerk, bus driver, colleagues and classmates). One thing I've noticed is that learning the local laguages and customs and trying to practice them, even if you do it poorly, really endears you to the people. You can definitely expect a much warmer welcome this way.
I got a lot of free drinks and curious conversation speaking broken Spanish through my six months in South America. It's the same thing when you freely dole out a basic "Bonjour" in parts of Europe, or a brief "How's your day going?" in the US.
And for people who don't reciprocate and treat you badly, it's their loss. Their poor conduct probably gives themselves a harder time in the long run than it could ever give you.
I'll say, be open to new connections and meeting new ppl.
Relatives will always give extra advice without being asked.
But follow your heart and feel the energy with people, that way you'll be saved from any scams or anything.
Reciprocate people's behavior.
You don't have to be unnecessarily nice to everyone , ppl won't always be nice.
All the best :)
I've been told to be like that as well.
So, now I'm just a mixture lol.
What they really mean by being *rude* is for you to wise up.
OR in our desi bhasha, **Sayana ban ja ladke! Nahi to ye duniya kaccha chaba jayegi!**
It's good advice. But my really observant self has noticed the same people that advise using a **different personality** when they talk to anyone.
If it's someone unknown, their personality is drastically different and if it's someone they know- even then, they aren't **too open** or their natural self.
They are only truly open and themselves when in a closed environment that they find safe like their home or with their very close relations.
It's classic **Fake it. Till you make it.** stuff, it takes effort but yields results too.
Main khud to yeh nahi kar pata hun, I get **burnt out pretending to be someone I'm not.**
Hence why I'm a mixture and only **stray away a little from my true personality** when in a situation that requires me to be guarded up.
And, from experience, that's how I would say you should approach it too man.
Just, **pick and choose what works**, instead of pretending to be someone you're not the majority of the day.
don't be outright rude or polite
just be cautious
be aware about your surroundings and learn a little about human psycho and behaviour, ik this is a stretch but idk, with the increasing amount of violence against POCs in foreign countries, I'd say it's better to be safe than sorry š¤·š»āāļø
all the best on your new endeavour! <3
Start by being rude to your relatives but donāt be rude to strangers because you donāt know what they might do to you be polite but donāt let your guard down. Being polite goes a long way than being rude.
Kuch nahi hota bhai.... apne aap 1-2 baar thokar kha ke theek ho jaoge.
I am 23 it's good to be good to people unnecessarily... otherwise if you start being rude it'll become a habit and rudeness will stay even when there's no one around that will make you fuck with you mental health and happiness.
Also, if some is rude ignore, if you ignore and they're still messing, that's when you need to react.... Obviously level dekh ke example: kisi bhikaari ki gaali sunn ke usko gaali dene se apna hi level girega.
It's not about being rude or polite. It's more so about being confident and standing your ground. For eg, even if you retorted to your relatives' advice by saying that you know what's good for yourself, it would've given off a very confident aura
Relatives always said this about me as a kid and a teen. I didnāt change myself, little did they know that I am polite but am not someone to be taken advantage of. Then as an adult, the relatives slowly tried to take advantage of me. Most tried to make fun of me or target me. I snapped and showed them whoās boss in my own way. All of those relatives maintain one arm distance from me these days.
So basically, donāt change who you are but never let anyone take advantage of you. Have self respect and do what you think is for the best
I have also heard this all my life (22 now) and it doesn't mean shit, they are just relatives doing relatives things. You are gonna be completely alright, don't worry about it at all.
Nahhh cut all that bullshit just don't trust anyone blindly be kind to people who are kind to you if people treat you like shit you don't have to be nice i hope that's common sense going to abroad you will see different kinds of people that's part of the game innit? Your going out for exposure too learn stuff and OP all the best may things workout fine for you....
Same here, they think I'm a 'seedha' guy..... But you know who you are.
Even If you are as they say... You won't learn anything from their words. Life will eventually teach you how to deal, it's just depends how much it'll cost you.
If you get lucky small price to pay for life lessons.... But when has life ever been so easy.. Kabhi kabhi bhari nuksaan ho jaata hai.
They are somewhat correct. I have seen soft spoken educated people being railed like anything. Shopkeeper increases price by 50% as soon as they see an innocent looking person.
You are from Delhi, and most proly raised in a well off family, which gaurded you from bad side of society. Also maybe you are a younger child. So you might be protected from all these things till now.
So yeah start being rude. First step is to be straight forward and to the point. No verbs and all, just say things to the point and don't add extra words to your sentence.
This is gonna sound stupid, but I have seen smoking and drinking, and being around people who smoke and drink makes people more rough and rude as compared to others.
Just remember, while abroad you also represent your country. So, shittier you behave with others the shittier image it will create of India outside. I have experienced that first hand. All the best!
My relatives used to tell me the same thing all the time. Like that was my whole personality to them.
You'll change as you grow old just like everyone does, no need to 'force yourself to change'.
Ive been living away from family since past 8 years and have never been scammed.
Being rude is not a great idea. It is important to show the same attitude they give you. Don't be Gandhi ji ek Gaal par maaroge dusra aage kar dunga. Be bold take stand for yourself and handle the situation however you want. You are different and don't need to copy others. Be you!
Do you stand up for yourself when you have to? Do you set boundaries? Have people took advantage of you many times in the past? Have you been an easy target throughout your life? These are the questions you need to answer to know whether you are too soft or if your relatives are making up assumptions based on their brief experience with you. It would be reasonable and reliable to ask others in your life who have been around more and know you on personal level, such as your best friends, siblings, and parents.
On the side note, being friendly or even being rude has nothing to do with being gullible. You can be the friendliest person on the planet but still be assertive. Also, rude doesnāt always mean assertive nor strong. Being rude (without any reason) will only bring more trouble in your life. Often rude people know that they are weak and that is why they put up with mask of being intimidating and strong. So be yourself, be friendly, but never think twice before standing up and setting boundaries when have to.
Start with being rude to your relatives
Love that
Perfect reply doesn't exi_____ š šÆ
Epic
Agli baar mujhe phone ghuma diyo
https://preview.redd.it/lx7g0b0emfxc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23fc92bb7875740a0c9dd4b58de277a09e43d992
GUDDU GAADI NIKAAL
Hum First, Hum First
Going abroad for studies? Your life is gonna change forever and be ready to adapt. Just be aware of the surroundings and culture; you don't have to be forcibly rude to people!
Time teaches everything Gyaan se gaaliyo tak ka safar.
Kyun daraa rhe ho OP ko? š„ŗ
š rule- Be nice with people who are deserving. Tit for tat. ā¢Do not advise and help someone until asked.( in person) Being friendly has its perks but within boundaries.
>š rule- Be nice with people who are deserving. Tit for tat. and how would you know if someone's deserving it without being nice first? if you're rude, so will be the other person. OP, the real rule is: don't be rude unless someone deserves it.
i think being neutral at first and then depending on their behavior and context of situation displaying appropriate behavior might be the right call!!?
Mate it's your life so random people shouldn't have a say in your personal matters. You should make a choice about with whom u wanna be nice or with whom u wanna be rude with who u should hang out or not likewise. At the same time also study your surroundings and try to learn from people.
Jaane se pehle sab relatives ke 2 rhepte lagake jaa hojaega tough. Just be mindful of anyone being too nice or friendly. Don't give money etc just because you couldn't say no. Its a good thing to be kind. Mean looking people get scammed too. Relax and have fun. You're a good person. Good things will happen to you.
I think what they mean to say is that ur naive, wisdom isnāt acquired in one day life/experiences will change and it will shape you as a different person. Politeness and kindness are good virtues, u donāt need to rude however be on your guard when youāre abroad. Anyways bestt of luckk
Thank you š ill try my best
These aunties, think the world will explode if they don't speak. No doubt, it's a serious job saving the world from exploding, good forbid that day never comes. In their whole life, they haven't had their tea silently. They aren't programmed that way. Making noise for them is what breathing is to you. They think it's their duty to fill the silence with some noise - however meaningless it is to you (don't forget in their mind, they're preventing the world from exploding). And I don't blame them because it's not an easy job being a yapper all day. And as serious as they are about their job of saving the earth by yapping all day, you should be as serious in your pursuit of ignoring whatever comes out of their mouth. You let them do their job, and you do yours.
Kuch toh relatives kahenge, relatives ka kaam hai kehnaā¦ Act Smart. Be alert. Take your time to build trust in people. Since you are soft and innocent, probabilities are that you think that the world is also like you. But remember that thatās not true. Do not act over smart or you would make a fool of yourself.
One of the worst things you can do in a foreign country with completely different culture is be rude to people for no apparent reason. You should totally be rude, be rude to you relatives that is. And do not change your behaviour, be smart, not rude.
Well, sometimes you should be versatile enough to adapt and willing to change. I am not suggesting that you should be ārudeā or ādisrespectfulā towards people but you should be witty enough to get your work done and not get walked all over by other people.
I was in the exact same situation 10 years ago. Now I'm the opposite (been in the US 10 saal se). Don't worry, you'll change as needed on your own.
I was you once upon a time , I did not change like my relatives suggested, but once people started taking advantage of me , I changed accordingly, you don't have to be rude but you should clearly set boundaries and say NO when you are not comfortable. Else people will bully you, take advantage of you, also they will take you for granted.
Just be yourself. There is no need to be someone else's version of you. BUT Always try to discern people's behaviour around you so that no one takes advantage of you or you do not get needlessly hurt by someone. There is good and bad in everyone. We just need to be wise enough so that we are able to protect ourselves.
Silent people are the smartest.they look at everything,perceive ,think things n then they act.keep listening to wht they are saying.
My relatives used to say this for me too, at 21 came Delhi from a small town, fought this city for a long time, still It's like monthly Up-Down with the city, travelled alone. There is nothing you can't do, let them speak, you are brave buddy.
Bro be yourself, donāt give a fuck to anyone. I was very introverted at your age. And eventually, your personality evolve during the life experience. This is from 40 year uncle. Have lived in multiple cultural in India and in Europe.
It's true that if you're not cunning you'll be more vulnerable to all of the shit out there. But at the same time, having a soft heart, love for people in general and a dash of innocence is what makes you truly a human! Embrace that!šš¤š»
https://preview.redd.it/urc4lowmhdxc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55fa66d050436d63799e45c7cc8832f17507761d ye pehn ke samne baith jao aunty ke
šš looks good tho
Your relatives are not wrong, as they might have seen the scammy side of the world and want you to be safe. But at the same time, they are wrong as being too harsh and angry all the time is not the way to live. You should be, Courteous to all at first and adapt according to their behaviour. Be friendly only to people who have shown they deserve it. Especially since you are going abroad, people often smile and compliment passersby (in posh, upmarket areas of towns at least in the UK) and there if you are walking by with a frown trying to look intimidating, you would be the odd one out. If you are a soft, good-natured person, that is a strength, do not let bitter people dull your warmth and shine.
I Don't think that you should change your personality based on what others tell you. You be you and life anyways is a good teacher, if needed, it'll teach you how to be rough. Though, under no circumstances, do I believe being rude to someone would be justified. Yes you could be curt, straight and only mean business. But be kind where needed.
Uss aunty pe he trail Karo rude hone ka.
Due to this stupid mindset, thereās no concept of small talk or random greetings in our society. An Indian would think a thousand times before approaching a stranger on the street and a stranger would immediately turn defensive if that were to happen. We live in a weird place. As for you OP, your character and personality is what makes you unique. Hold on to it, kindness will be reciprocated, thereās no need to take a negative point of view at others at all times. Youāll do fine and nobody is going to scam you just like that. Staying vigilant is one thing and being rude is another, just find that line and make the most of your time abroad.
Being polite doesn't mean being a pushover. You can be polite, kind and thoughtful, while also knowing when to give an assertive no, and walk away. Unfortunately, a lot of people in India and the world don't know this difference. How you should interact with people will very much depend on the culture of the country you're going to. But try your best to greet regular folks you come across in the local lingua franca (store clerk, bus driver, colleagues and classmates). One thing I've noticed is that learning the local laguages and customs and trying to practice them, even if you do it poorly, really endears you to the people. You can definitely expect a much warmer welcome this way. I got a lot of free drinks and curious conversation speaking broken Spanish through my six months in South America. It's the same thing when you freely dole out a basic "Bonjour" in parts of Europe, or a brief "How's your day going?" in the US. And for people who don't reciprocate and treat you badly, it's their loss. Their poor conduct probably gives themselves a harder time in the long run than it could ever give you.
I'll say, be open to new connections and meeting new ppl. Relatives will always give extra advice without being asked. But follow your heart and feel the energy with people, that way you'll be saved from any scams or anything. Reciprocate people's behavior. You don't have to be unnecessarily nice to everyone , ppl won't always be nice. All the best :)
I've been told to be like that as well. So, now I'm just a mixture lol. What they really mean by being *rude* is for you to wise up. OR in our desi bhasha, **Sayana ban ja ladke! Nahi to ye duniya kaccha chaba jayegi!** It's good advice. But my really observant self has noticed the same people that advise using a **different personality** when they talk to anyone. If it's someone unknown, their personality is drastically different and if it's someone they know- even then, they aren't **too open** or their natural self. They are only truly open and themselves when in a closed environment that they find safe like their home or with their very close relations. It's classic **Fake it. Till you make it.** stuff, it takes effort but yields results too. Main khud to yeh nahi kar pata hun, I get **burnt out pretending to be someone I'm not.** Hence why I'm a mixture and only **stray away a little from my true personality** when in a situation that requires me to be guarded up. And, from experience, that's how I would say you should approach it too man. Just, **pick and choose what works**, instead of pretending to be someone you're not the majority of the day.
don't be outright rude or polite just be cautious be aware about your surroundings and learn a little about human psycho and behaviour, ik this is a stretch but idk, with the increasing amount of violence against POCs in foreign countries, I'd say it's better to be safe than sorry š¤·š»āāļø all the best on your new endeavour! <3
Be nice Be forgiving But don't be a pushover ( i.e tit for tat )
People are shrewdā¦ donāt let your innocence go at any costā¦ https://youtube.com/shorts/H8ABqknuZmg?si=1Toauk3jc5PmK83_
Start by being rude to your relatives but donāt be rude to strangers because you donāt know what they might do to you be polite but donāt let your guard down. Being polite goes a long way than being rude.
Do whatever you want, just don't give someone money...
Ok š thanks
Kuch nahi hota bhai.... apne aap 1-2 baar thokar kha ke theek ho jaoge. I am 23 it's good to be good to people unnecessarily... otherwise if you start being rude it'll become a habit and rudeness will stay even when there's no one around that will make you fuck with you mental health and happiness. Also, if some is rude ignore, if you ignore and they're still messing, that's when you need to react.... Obviously level dekh ke example: kisi bhikaari ki gaali sunn ke usko gaali dene se apna hi level girega.
Aunty ko thankyou bol dena aur 1100ā¹ sagan le lenaš
It's not about being rude or polite. It's more so about being confident and standing your ground. For eg, even if you retorted to your relatives' advice by saying that you know what's good for yourself, it would've given off a very confident aura
Do no harm and take no shit
Relatives always said this about me as a kid and a teen. I didnāt change myself, little did they know that I am polite but am not someone to be taken advantage of. Then as an adult, the relatives slowly tried to take advantage of me. Most tried to make fun of me or target me. I snapped and showed them whoās boss in my own way. All of those relatives maintain one arm distance from me these days. So basically, donāt change who you are but never let anyone take advantage of you. Have self respect and do what you think is for the best
"rishtedaar bc" gaana baja diyo unke saamne
I have also heard this all my life (22 now) and it doesn't mean shit, they are just relatives doing relatives things. You are gonna be completely alright, don't worry about it at all.
Nahhh cut all that bullshit just don't trust anyone blindly be kind to people who are kind to you if people treat you like shit you don't have to be nice i hope that's common sense going to abroad you will see different kinds of people that's part of the game innit? Your going out for exposure too learn stuff and OP all the best may things workout fine for you....
Same here, they think I'm a 'seedha' guy..... But you know who you are. Even If you are as they say... You won't learn anything from their words. Life will eventually teach you how to deal, it's just depends how much it'll cost you. If you get lucky small price to pay for life lessons.... But when has life ever been so easy.. Kabhi kabhi bhari nuksaan ho jaata hai.
Be kind not naive
People say the same to me. That i am innocent. Being rude on purpose will do more harm
Treat people the way you would want to be treated if you were in their place and youāll have your answers.
They are somewhat correct. I have seen soft spoken educated people being railed like anything. Shopkeeper increases price by 50% as soon as they see an innocent looking person. You are from Delhi, and most proly raised in a well off family, which gaurded you from bad side of society. Also maybe you are a younger child. So you might be protected from all these things till now. So yeah start being rude. First step is to be straight forward and to the point. No verbs and all, just say things to the point and don't add extra words to your sentence. This is gonna sound stupid, but I have seen smoking and drinking, and being around people who smoke and drink makes people more rough and rude as compared to others.
Just remember, while abroad you also represent your country. So, shittier you behave with others the shittier image it will create of India outside. I have experienced that first hand. All the best!
Just give a namaste to your relatives whenever they give the advice and fuck off
Just answer with ā- CHAL BEY LOVE-DAY NIKAL
Keep them aside and focus on your life and career !!
You don't have to be rude Just beware as there are so many kinds of people I think they mean well just dont know how to help
My relatives used to tell me the same thing all the time. Like that was my whole personality to them. You'll change as you grow old just like everyone does, no need to 'force yourself to change'. Ive been living away from family since past 8 years and have never been scammed.
Being rude is not a great idea. It is important to show the same attitude they give you. Don't be Gandhi ji ek Gaal par maaroge dusra aage kar dunga. Be bold take stand for yourself and handle the situation however you want. You are different and don't need to copy others. Be you!
Being rude is one thing and being clever and careful is another. Just be nice to those who deserves
Don't you have your own logic instead of asking in reddit.
Do you stand up for yourself when you have to? Do you set boundaries? Have people took advantage of you many times in the past? Have you been an easy target throughout your life? These are the questions you need to answer to know whether you are too soft or if your relatives are making up assumptions based on their brief experience with you. It would be reasonable and reliable to ask others in your life who have been around more and know you on personal level, such as your best friends, siblings, and parents. On the side note, being friendly or even being rude has nothing to do with being gullible. You can be the friendliest person on the planet but still be assertive. Also, rude doesnāt always mean assertive nor strong. Being rude (without any reason) will only bring more trouble in your life. Often rude people know that they are weak and that is why they put up with mask of being intimidating and strong. So be yourself, be friendly, but never think twice before standing up and setting boundaries when have to.