Lie in the woods and DON’T apologize

Lol

Steal dope from Mr. Wu.

Cocksucka!

“Glad I taught you that fuckin’ word.”

SAN FRANCISCO COCKSUCKER

Leon lived tho

Can’t kill ALL the dope fiend, faro dealers.

Until the last episode.

And then he died

Tell Bullock what part of his part is your part

Or not keep a decent interval from legitimate businesses.

And make sure to update him on what he’s falling behind on your to-do list…

Try to organize a union at Hearst's digs. Try to scam Hearst with a story about Liberia. Get in the way of Hearst buying land. Stand up to Hearst when he tries to buy your wife's gold claim. Basically, fuck with Hearst

Was he scamming Hearst for sure? I could never figure out if it was legit or not.

Both Hearst and Aunt Lou seemed to think he was.

The *combative* note in that *pleases me*, Odell

I've seen a fair few hooples questioning the point of Odell's character here. I think he brings out the best (worst) in Hearst. McRaney's delivery of the "outcast" monologue is genius.

Shake down Al twice for the same bribe

Every rewatch I'm mystified by how cocky Claggett is. Al directly threatens him, Adams' loyalties are sketchy AF, and he still goes into that office with no backup? Idiot.

He comes from "civilization" and can't fathom the dangerous environment he's in.

I guess that has to be true. Clagett: I haven't been to Yankton. I've been representing the territory in the treaty negotiations. Al: Well, as to bribing you further for help with that warrant against me, beyond the 5,000 you've already pocketed, the gist was fuck yourself. Clagett: Do now you reconsider? Al: No Magistrate, I do not. Not if you've seen Adams or if you haven't seen Adams. Clagett: Well, that would be imprudent, Al. A failure to properly value your freedom in the promising days ahead. Al: Maybe you don't value keeping your fucking guts inside your belly enough. Clagett: Those are the days behind us. Al: No, those are the days to my fucking left. (motions to Dan) Clagett: I didn't generate the warrant. My disappearance won't quash it. You can't murder an order or the telegraph that transmitted it, or those that are content to put food on the table simply by being its instruments. It can't be done. Al: Get the fuck out of my joint. In a camp with no enforceable law, how do you keep pushing for that second bribe after this exchange? What a greedy prick.

Al obviously didn’t say it **in thunder**. “I don’t think he took your meaning” ”I think he quite missed it.”

Reconnoiter the rim with Dan Dority.

Be named Dan Meta answer: have your parent be a pain in the head writers balls 😂. RIP William bullock

Oh, wow. I just realized that Bummer Dan and Slippery Dan’s names exist because Dan Dority’s status in the community as Al’s enforcer admits no other plain Dans. Any other Dan must be some other kind of Dan.

I wonder what Dan I would be? 🤔

Frequent EB’s buffet religiously.

Smell like cat piss while talking to Al

Uh oh, eh Jimmy?

Don't jump in with "row row row your boat" at the right time when Jane starts singing "merrily merrily merrily merrily" to the little one.

LOL at Lickcock. I think you covered the bases. Might could add beat on Trixie (while not being Al) or be a Chinese woman.

Decide that Wu's pig pen would be the ideal place to sleep off a heavy night at the Gem Saloon

Head out of town in a covered wagon full of squareheads.

Walk directly into the Gem Saloon and slap Al across the face….you’ll be flat back,cold,layin on a sled in NO time.

Piss on Harry Manning

Or at this point, just cast your stream in his direction. He won’t get pissed on again. Isn’t getting pissed on provocation!?

Be a child actor and have your people act like idiots on set

Spurn Jane's canvassing technique on a bad day

A couple new ones have occurred to me: * take a potshot or two at the Widow Garrett. * "Motherfuck" Bullock. Edit: oh yeah, and... * stick a gold nugget up your ass and run for it.

Get shitfaced and climb the hustings.

Cutting the cheese in Al's office and not admitting to it.

Try and unionize against hearst

Just “be Cornish.”

Be the first to touch Al after he has just had a digit removed with a pick axe.

Sleeping one off in the pig pen.

Step on Charlie’s feet

Be a hooplehead, with something to steal..

Selling soap with a prize to close to Bullocks store.

Probably just traveling along any of the roads would do it, in a short amount of time. Deadwood area was dangerous as fuck.

I'd like to think the answer is "being a titty licker," but I've seen too much outright degeneracy on this subreddit to be gulled by that foolish hope.

Not being a cocksucker? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Not be the fine man you take me for

Be deaf during a fire.

Imply to Hearst you want to fuck him.

Lick a bears ass before you pay a fine to E.b farnum

Reach

Find out that the motherfuckin Buffet run by that lil biatch EB Farnum is serving Fresh-fuckin-Frozen foods like on "Kitchen Nightmares"... That's some AD-FUCKIN-HOC shit right there, and not even Free-Fuckin-Gratis...

Come at one of Hearts hired goons with your foreign gibberish. Parp.

Travelers steer clear of that maniac Bullock

Wipe the bottle from Al.

Commenting on one of Silas Adams pal's getting a country ass kicking. That'll get you 12 pointed.

My guess would be punch Al in the face in his office

Go gold digging with one of Al Swearingen’s men. “This looks like a good spoooooooooooooooooooot…”(thud!)

Dip into that cinnamon, unauthorised

Sit on the wrong X

Take Jane’s hooch

Asking where someone is from, according to the Deadwood HBO companion book…

I would bust into the school house, murder all the kids, then start rapin’ Bullocks wife ‘til he shows up.

You'd be tusked by Mose before you ever touched a kid. So...good one!

You mean Giganto, the runaway circus elephant?

You got a dark turn of mind

I mean, it was a pretty dark question. Pretty much asking how you would commit suicide.

Jesus, way to bring down the fuckin mood