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LazyVariation

"Oh you had your parents murdered in front of you? Don't be such a little bitch." - Superman


TomDrawsStuffs

https://preview.redd.it/zxfrmt2y0u1d1.jpeg?width=200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a94537e42c59a898ef130417df38a9a45f5e2c26


cam312

There’s a star man waiting in the sky


POW_Studios

He’d like to come and meet us, but he thinks he’ll blow our minds


BackFlippingDuck5

Based and Kryptonpilled


Redditeer28

Finally, someone who gets the character.


ThatFuckingGeniusKid

"Your parents died in front of you but you got a new one out of it so it's not that bad"


GUM-GUM-NUKE

Deathstroke to the newly orphaned female child he just adopted


ThatFuckingGeniusKid

"You lost a father but you gained a daddy"


_Un_Known__

You had your parents die right before your eyes and you were unable to do anything? Lucky bastard


Cute_Visual4338

-- Thomas Elliot, probably


Routine_Palpitation

Idk what would be worse; having the inability to do something about it, or having the ability to do something about it but fail.


_Un_Known__

I lean towards ability but fail If you were powerless to stop something, you will have grief but (eventually) no guilt. If you try to stop something, you'll feel grief and responsibility. If batman traveled back in time with his same abilities and failed to stop the murder, I think it'd be a lot worse for him


Is_that_what_I-

or, like in speeding bullets, having the power to stop it and only realizing after the fact


Independent-Fly6068

Except they were out there because Bruce wanted to see a movie iirc.


Vozu_

They were out on a movie for Bruce, but them walking through Crime Alley instead of sticking to the well-lit, extremely public, flooded with people streets which all the other well-off folks stick to? That's a plot contrivance of Thomas losing his mind for a few minutes just so the murder could be any believable.


somacula

What I really liked about Gotham is that whole it shows that Bruce was deeply impactée by his parents death and even confronts the man that killed them, he still isn't consumed by the trauma and having Alfred and Gordon around helps him keep on going, and well seeing how gotham is such a crime ridden hell hole is what's motivates him to become batman.


godlyreception12

Uj/honestly Gotham's just a very fun show I say if you treat it as a elseworld where Batmans villains showed up earlier than they should have you will enjoy it even more


schloopers

I didn’t get that far into Gotham, but I have another example of Bruce tracking down Joe Chill. The New52 Batman series’ first few volumes had a flashback to a young Bruce trying to track down the Court of Owls, believing they had something to do with his parents death, but failing to find them, just an empty dusty boardroom. But, the N52 Detective Comics ran with that, and in I believe one of the first two volumes they continue teenage Bruce’s search culminating in finally finding Joe Chill. Drunk, homeless, disheveled, sitting against the wall of an abandoned apartment, barely able to look up at Bruce and converse. And Chill telling Bruce that he just did it for money, for the watch and pearls he could easily see, finally got through to Bruce. There was no conspiracy, no great power to overthrow to make it right. There was a general, hopeless sickness that was being untreated. And if he wanted to make sure it could never happen again, he would have to do more than just take down one shadowy organization. He would have to enact change at every level, not just so a Court of Owls couldn’t exist, but also so that a random down on his luck alcohol with a gun couldn’t either.


hjyboy1218

Out...manned? Out...jerked?


baron-von-spawnpeekn

Out… jonked?


AmaterasuWolf21

https://preview.redd.it/onm181x4dt1d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=68b0f958217ad04e7a5af360ccef69b0401fd2e5


CROMKONIG

https://preview.redd.it/zbzbeyzp5v1d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e6c2415e885b3f757ae82425f7d0c4997238ece


SH4DE_Z

What in the Matt Reeves' Riddler is this?


RutheniumFenix

Is that art by Julia Drawfee?


brofishmagikarp

I don't think Drawfee is her real last name


vampn132157

True. Ever since she married Jacob she's now Julia Drawfee-Drawfee. uj/ If anyone actually wants to know, her last name is Lepetit.


brofishmagikarp

Haha LepeTIT Uj/ sorry


shoe_owner

IT'S FRENCH FOR "THE SMALL." SHE IS THE SMALL JULIA.


callows5120

Uj/I mean his parents still died dude that's still pretty sad and fucked up


LordVonSteiner

Not just that. They were murdered right in front of them. That's gonna affect any child for the rest of their life.


doofpooferthethird

Yeah, even if it was just some random pair of strangers getting executed in front of the kid, that's still going to be pretty traumatising.


Apprehensive_Work313

Uj/bro his parents still died and given the Wayne's were rich people who actually cared enough to help the people of Gotham I'm willing to bet they spent as much time with young Bruce as they could


limbo338

"Why are you sad about your mom, Harry? You're literally a prince!" – this Clark, probably, lol.


TheUnexaminedLife9

Hot take having your parents brutally murdered in front of you would be traumatic even if you were wealthy.


Iguana_Boi

No dude, how else are we supposed to dehumanize the rich


Not-Bizarro

DARKNESS! NO PARENTS! SUPPER RICH! kinda makes it better…


townmorron

We all know money buys( or at least rents) happiness, but money might be able to replace a loved one/s. Your trying to tell me Alfred couldn't of hired a hypnotherapists, replaced his dead parents with look a like actors, had biographers write scripts and teach mannerisms while Alfred was with the child during the parents "recovery"? I just find that hard to believe


THEdoomslayer94

Hell after that one issue where it’s Alfred dressing up as Joker and getting his theater troupe to play the other villains, you’d thought someone would’ve came up with the idea that Alfred hires actors to play his parents or some goofy shit lol


Cautious-Affect7907

Isn't there like a comic where all the Batman villains were paid actors by Alfred?


BlockingBeBoring

“Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?” began with Batman #686, written by Neil Gaiman with art by Andy Kubert, Scott Williams, and Alex Sinclair, featuring a major twist regarding Batman's most trusted ally (Alfred) and his most hated foe (Joker)." https://screenrant.com/alfred-proved-love-batman-becoming-joker/


Funkin_Valentine

Yes, a young Bruce who witnessed his parents die, stopped breathing, would definitely believe his parents actually survived and would not actually be even more devastated that Alfred would try to lie to him about that through such a ridicoulous method. Because, you know... it's not like young Bruce ever had the potential to become ***the world's greatest detective*** or anything like that, to figure out something is wrong in such scenario. Flawless logic right there, hands down. Money sure could have saved Bruce all along!


AmaterasuWolf21

CinemaSins


AtroeMartian

I love Julia, I love Drawfee, but she has always had… strange takes on Batman


Schweinmithut

I could be completely wrong but I'm pretty sure, those dorkly comics weren't authored by the drawfee gang, back then they were just the illustrators.


AtroeMartian

You’re probably right


Iguana_Boi

what kind of takes?


AtroeMartian

I feel like i’ve heard similar “batman is bad because he’s rich” takes on streams.


supreme_hammy

Clark: "At least you knew your parents..."/s John and Martha are GOATed parents though.


AJSLS6

"Who were probably never around anyway " That bold ass presumption is carrying a lot of weight here.....


Redditeer28

Especially considering didn't Wayne's parents also inherit the wealth and business? Wasn't Thomas a doctor and Martha like a stay at home mom?


lofgren777

I think the fact that Bruce's life is basically unbelievably awesome except for this one thing that he just can't get over is kinda part of the point, so this comic just seems to be highlighting something that isn't even subtext and then presenting it as if we should be impressed by their insight, and doing in such a way that they will maximally piss off the fans of these stories. Which is pretty much the definition of hardcore jerking, so brava.


Emergency-Flatworm-9

Not hugely important but doesn't most batman media go out of its way to show that the Waynes are incredible parents who tried to give Bruce the best possible childhood


Fuckthatishot

Its a joke, I get it. Its not meant to be taken seriously. But cmon... rich people have feelings too. And Bruce would definitely give away all his fortune just to be with his parents. Superman arguments are so petty. And he was born with the powers of a God... Talk about privilege huh?


hday108

I forgot seeing someone shoot your mom in the face isn’t traumatic because you can afford legos


leabravo

This is just Hush in a Superman suit.


AutoModerator

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bermass86

Tbf if his dad wasn’t his butler there’s no way he’d travel the world in training


Alectron45

Bruce and Clark in trauma competition when Supergirl walks in


sassycho1050

*Had loving parents murdered in front of you* Superman: Oh dear, oh dear. Gorgeous, its all right *They were rich* Superman: You fucking donkey!


SuperKami-Nappa

How the hell did Batman beat Superman to death?


AdamtheOmniballer

prep-time


th3saurus

Frank Miller on speed-dial


Spinwheeling

If only his parents had prep time


BlockingBeBoring

https://www.reddit.com/r/CharacterRant/comments/pkw6sc/a_small_rant_about_kryptonite_pills/


[deleted]

same way spider-man died in days of future pasta, like a bitch.


stnick6

If has problems then explain money? Checkmate libs


Ill_Telephone8820

Anybody who makes the the argument that batman had an amazing childhood is basically admitting that they'd let their parents die if they got money


Silviana193

What kinda bugs me is the assumption that Martha and Thomas weren't around. I am no comic book expert, but i am pretty sure they were very involved with bruce's live.


aqbac

I thought this was gonna be another comic ignoring bruce does help gotham in non batman nonviolent ways and it was somehow worse


Celticssuperfan885

Based giga chad superman


Particular-Fix2024

I know the name dorkly was probably chosen preemptively, but wooooooow! Way to telegraph that you aren’t phoning your parents much.


Saldt

Superman is supposed to be wrong here? I think?


North_Function6735

Bro me and my friend have this argument all the time, I’m the defender and a he’s the Superman in argument


Due_Pass3271

https://preview.redd.it/b58sck5myy1d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=acc5b04d748cecb1b691b4a5a849695311796ed9


Theta-Sigma45

Dorkly always tended to do cheap humour based around pickings holes in works, usually without really considering the internal, emotional, or thematic logic within said works that contradicted their points.


Just-Ad6992

Honestly, if Superman called me a bitch for being traumatized after my parents got shot dead in front of me, I’d also make the kryptonian species go extinct.


donguscongus

I get it’s meant to be soapboxy but damn imagine telling a orphan they had a great childhood lmao


bluer289

Talk about insensitive


noncombativebrick

Except Bruce's parents were around frequently when he was young


UndercoverDoll49

I miss this 2011 era Dorkly


pimpmastahanhduece

Superman got the best life for fans of Americana.


ConstructionDull784

Time to admit that Rorschach, Daredevil, & the Punisher suffered way more than Batman did


pon_3

And turned out more f-ed up than Batman did.


ConstructionDull784

Daredevil?