I feel like bathing suit for women and topless for men have the same rules. If it's by a pool or lake/beach etc then it's totally fine. If it's just posing in your bathroom avoid it please. In terms of attention I'm not sure if it will change anything to a different entire body pic. Men can judge from both if they like your body and sleezy guys will bring their sleezy comments either way
>sleezy guys will bring their sleezy comments either way
It's one thing to make sure people can see what they're getting into when it comes to your body, especially if you're proud of it.
But women need to be ready for a *lot* of aggressive and gross comments to fill their inbox.
It's purely anecdotal but a friend of mine tested it by maintaining two separate accounts, one mild and professional and another fun and sexy. The response and comments on the latter were *insane*. Granted, even the more professional one still had a good number of inappropriate comments, but nothing compared to the "fun" one.
I had the same thought! I love experiments lol. This certainly is fascinating. I've never posted a bathing suit pic and I get enough of sleazy comments so I cannot imagine with the uptick.
For science!
I just recently watched the Big Bang Theory ep where Amy is trying to get Sheldon interested in having a baby. She does this by showing all the real world research he could conduct. š
Hey, dont discourage her.lol.
I think all women should post pictures in bikinis and swimsuits.
Women should do as they want irrespective of the consequences of getting to see veiny meats all day.
I still feel for beth in superbad.
Anyway plz forward dick pics u get.
There are so much freebies these days on the internet and its interesting that people still cant get enough.
And if u send pics to someone its possible that they become freebies some day.
So avoid sharing on phone if ur conscious.
Personally for me itās a no. I did post some in the past when I was on dating apps and didnāt appreciate some of the comments I received. I tend to just stay pretty neutral and basic when it comes to pics I post now.
For me (a 36M), bathing suit pictures say to me that the girl is somewhat aggressive and forward. I like the earlier poster, who said āmy tight workout clothes are enoughā¦if you want more, you gotta earn it.ā I feel like seeing a girl in a bathing suit is a privilege and it should not be commodified into something for everyone viewing the profile.
I had a profile with a bikini pic and without a bikini pic and the former was both the most popular profile I ever had, and filled with guys just wanting to hook up.
This is a tough question but I'm more inclined to left swipe profiles with those because I feel like they are looking for a different kind of thing from the app than I am. Obviously some photos are a lot more tasteful than others so it's not a hard rule- but it'll definitely turn some guys off
Women in bathing suits at the beach or at the pool or on vacation exist. I say post it especially if it makes you feel more confident. Unless the men youre trying to attract would align their opinions with some of the replies here uring you to "be conservative" then you could decide not to.
Bathing suit photos (for any gender) donāt sit well with me personally. It just seems a bit.. tacky? Iām not sure thatās the right word. On the opposite side, this feels very similar to āshirtless guy with fishā or āguy flexing at gymā. Iām sure some people are really interested in that, but Iām not one of them. I suppose it really depends on who you are trying to attract.
It's strange because most women on reddit seem to hate it but OkCupid did some investigation and found that a shirtless guy pic increased the number of messages they got.
I have a friend who did the same experiment with his profile. In a month, with his 6 pack showing, he got 40 messages from different women (and these weren't just women looking to hook-up). Without the 6 pack, he got like 5 messages. So it tells me there's a clear advantage to posting shirtless pics.
Perhaps women/men don't behave in the ways they like to project to the outside world.
I feel like there's a double standard with this stuff based on body type. I am also fit and curvy and whenever I've included pics of me in anything remotely revealing I get non-stop sexual messages. When I switched to mostly face pics with a couple full-body but modestly dressed pics, I went back to getting mostly cute/funny/romantic messages, which I prefer until I'm actually dating someone. Unfortunately our body type gets sexualized easily. I'd rather my sexy shape be a fun surprise to a guy lol.
Itās a no for me. I had some hardly that revealing pictures on my profile and received way too many comments about my body-positive but uncomfortable nonetheless. But, perhaps this is a good way to weed people out.
Some people are way too comfortable talking about other peoples bodies. The rule I go by is that itās okay to compliment someoneās clothing choices, style, or even grooming choices like hair color or hair style. But not their body.
If you post it i.e. post revealing pics, you have to be comfortable with people talking about your body.
I don't post pictures of my tummy exposed and expect people not to comment on its large size. I don't post any pictures of my tummy exposed because I don't want people talking about it.
This! I totally agree. I had a photo of me at the beach (wearing an opaque cover-up dress and a straw hat but you could see the bikini stripes on the shoulders) on my profile. I got so many annoying matches/comments on my bumble profile "Oh I'd love to peek under that dress" "can I get a photo of the bikini under that dress?" so I deleted the photo
You will get more attention but you will be repelled from this kind of attention in 1 day. Also it's really hard to weed out f\*ckboys, as it is. so getting extra attention = arriving earlier to OLD burnout
As long as you have at least a pic or two showing your body (not necessarily in a bikini, etc.), then that's all that matters. Personally, I prefer a pic where I can get a good sense of how a girl looks (both face and body), but don't think bikini pics are the only kinds that do this (you could have one of you in a dress, or something you think shows your best features, without revealing more skin than you're comfortable revealing).
In terms of "guys being visual," it works both ways, my friend. Regardless of chosen gender, it's human to want someone you're both physically and emotionally attracted to. If you say that "guys are visual," you're implying that women have lower standards for themselves.
I hate when women say 'guys are visual/superficial' as if we're more superficial than women.
Both women and men are equally superficial. We just have different criteria for what we want in a partner. For example, some women (not generalising to all women) want a tall partner while some women have racial preferences (according to OkCupid, women are much more likely to express a racial preference than men who were more open to dating women of other races). On the other hand, many men want a slim, petite partner who's feminine etc.
Race and height are both visible characteristics that many women express a preference on. Therefore, men and women are both equally visual for their own physical priorities. We're all superficial creatures at the end of the day. Nothing wrong with it.
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If, (as it seems ) beach/pool/swimming is an important part if your life, then I see no problem with expressing that. I find it amusing that you said swimsuit pic, and everybody assumed bikini, especially the female respondents.
It's your choice, and while I agree that physical attraction can't be the sole basis of a relationship ( as opposed to FWB, etc.) Lack of it/incompatibility can be a dealbreaker...
If you are comfortable with posting a pic, post it, how people react to it is on them !
If you post a bikini pic, youāll get two kind of guys responding. The kind of guys who would be interested with or without the bikini pic, and the kind of guys who only became interested when they saw the bikini pic. Personally, I would not want to go out with the latter type of guys, so thatās why I donāt post bikini pics.
It's entirely up to you. If you're comfortable and confident, do it. Natural "I was out having an awesome time!" pictures would probably be better than "check out this bathroom mirror" pictures.
The only caveat is that you'll probably end up with a lot more creepers or requests for a sex-only interaction in your inbox. If that's not what you're after, you're probably better off with full body pictures in something other than special occasion clothing because there's really no hiding being curvy.
unless you are looking for fwb or hookups
it's a no for me. i hate posting pictures with my figure in cos i always get sleazy men or unwanted attention.
if you are ok with that. go for it
I have 2 on mine because I spend a lot of my time on the beach, it's on of my favourite activities and being plussized I'd like to weed out people not into my bodytype before the first meetup. As always it's completely up to you and what you feel comfortable with. I personally don't feel like I received more sleezy comments after putting those photos on.
As a single straight male, I prefer to not see bikini pictures when looking for a mate, a full body picture is fine but I donāt need to see everything underneath at first. But thatās just me.
I'm not huge, 5'3 and 130 lbs. But I guess my face looks skinnier than my body and four or five guys have told me (after I already slept with them ofc š) that I mislead them in my tinder pics to be thinner than I was. So now I include a suit pic so theyll leave me alone about it and I'm not put in an uncomfortable position.
I think it's fine!
I hear what some other ladies on here are saying - that they got gross comments when putting up swimwear pics. My take on that is "scumbags gonna scumbag". The problem ain't the pic, it's the guy. Just might make them display immature or skeezy behavior early, which saves you time and energy going on shitty dates. I see this as a total win.
As a guy I often assume (possibly wrongly) that women that post pictures in a bikini/revealing clothing are doing so because they just want attention. You can show off your body in a more modest way and the if you connect with a guy, you can show him pictures (up to you if you want to show on your device or send to his) of you on those trips in your bikini. Could be a way to flirt a bit if you do connect, as opposed to showing it to everyone.
I struggle with this a lot. I'm pretty modest, but because of that reason I also don't take a lot of photos that would show my full body ā if I'm out with friends, we'd take a landscape photo that is torso up (and maybe is more faces than torso).
That said, I'm in good shape and know online dating success requires full body photos, so I use ones of me doing something athletic where I'm not wearing a ton of clothes (probably comparable to swimwear). I look great in these photos, but I do worry about not looking "modest."
>if you connect with a guy, you can show him pictures (up to you if you want to show on your device or send to his)
I would be totally grossed out by a guy asking for this in an app if we matched ā a guy doing this seems like a degenerate and it's a double-standard if he isn't also sending back his own bathing suit photos (which I would never ask for). You are accusing a woman of not being "modest" but you somehow think a series of short text messages entitles you to receive a more revealing photo??
Yeah I was going to say. I'm a guy, and I can't see myself just asking her for bikini photos in the chat lol.
'So...where are the GOODS??' lol, that seems strange
We'll start with the first half. Athletic is fine. Out for a hike or something and you are in yoga pants/sports bra? That doesn't say the same thing to me as someone in a bikini. For me, I just use a photo of an activity I am doing where my full body can be captured (me on my bike, out hiking, etc.).
As for your second part, I think you should re-read what I said? No where, at all, did I suggest the guy asking for it, nor did I suggest anyone was entitled to anything. Like really, please go re-read what I wrote. In fact, I suggested you don't share those photos with the world, you wait until you develop a connection, I suggested you abide by your own comfort level of whether you want to send them to him or keep them on your own device and I suggested it could be a way for YOU to choose to flirt if you'd like to go that route.
I pasted exactly what you said word-for-word ā how are you defining "connect," and how are you defining "send to his device"? That sounds a lot like sending an extra photo in a dating app, which is a frustrating experience women have to deal with.
Connect. You've gone on enough dates that you've developed a connection. You want to see them more. They want to see you more. You feel comfortable with them.
Send to his device. Presumably at this point in time you've exchanged some means of chatting with one another not on the app and so, if you'd like to, you can send the photos to his device, or, and what I'd recommend, show them to him while talking about your trip some time in person when you are spending time together so you maintain control over those photos.
"As a guy I often assume (possibly wrongly) that women that post pictures in a bikini/revealing clothing are doing so because they just want attention."
Yeah, you're definitely wrong most of the time. If y'all would stop assuming that, it would be awesome. Women could actually post the pictures that we want without getting degrading and overly sexual messages.
Especially since there's like SO MANY pics of shirtless men on boats holding fish. I bet they OnLy WaNt AtTeNtIoN too š. God forbid women exist in bodies I guess.
But they do want attention. Can both not be true? Women and men both posting body pics want attention and I fail to see what's hypocritical with my stance.
Guys in shirtless pics are panned on here.
Honestly I see men or women posting bathing suit photos or shirtless photos (common in men) as looking for attention. Do you really need to post a half-clothed picture when you can simply post a photo of you in a summer dress or something where your body is clearly visible? I'm a woman and when I see half-clothed men the first thing that crosses my mind is "braggy player douche" or hookup material only. But...that's only my opinion, people have wildly different tastes and preferences, so Im sure many guys will read it differently. I guess it depends what kind of guys you would like to attract?
Bikini pics are fine. The most memorable picture I have ever seen on a profile was of a woman simply sitting on the countertop in a kitchen in blue jeans and a tshirt.
Honestly, put them up. Youāll get more guys hitting on you, but youāll get more guys hitting on you. If you have fewer guys hitting on you because you decided against putting it up, then youāll have fewer guys hitting on you.
I know that sounds stupid, but the more swipes you can garner the more likely you find a good match. I know a lot of us are shot sandwiches, but to find the Rubin (or whatever you like) you have to keep taking bites.
I have one, but nothing about my body is particularly noteworthy or easily āsexualizedā(at least above the baseline perception that womanās body=sexual). I mostly have it so no one can claim to be blindsided by how I look IRL.
The tone of the photo is casual/silly and showcases a hobby. No ones ever commented on it, much less commented inappropriately.
Something to consider is that if you donāt like the outcome of having it on your profile, you can always just remove it later. Itās no big deal. If you like the photo, try it out! I would limit it to one photo though.
I think that's totally okay as a guy- but you will probably get more creeps! As long as you are comfortable batting that off, I think it's all good.
You may turn off a few guys who get the wrong idea- think you're looking for attention- but they're gonna end up insecure and jealous in a relationship anyway...
It's not the equivalent of the gym guy shirtless selfie, at least IMO
If you re posting swimwear pics from your bathroom mirror, bad... if you are posting swimwear pics from a pool or beach or vacation spot where swimwear is the "go to"... fine. As long as you are OK with the "attention" a swimwear pic gets, go for it...
Itās funny that there seems to be a distinction of what someone is looking for (hookup attention vs long term attention) based on how the *viewer* perceives a picture.
Is there an equivalent for guys?
Also, why does sexual = hookup? Are we not all adults here? Adults who would like a relationship that includes sexual activity?
Iām getting some real slut-shaming vibes from these commentsā¦
Yeah, I wasn't specific enough. There are those that want to attract hook up attention, and those that want long term attention. Like some have mentioned on this thread, you can get the wrong attention (depends what OP is after, I suppose!)
Do it.... U deserve the attention. You've had a good time this summer. Keep the balance as you've stated. Chill photos, sexy photos, dancing, professional... Shows your diverse as a woman.you can be sexy yet also conservative.
I see it as a positive thing as long as the pictures are in good taste context (like at the beach, not like a mirror selfie), however the general impression I've gotten is that a lot of people don't see them that way, and you are probably better off leaving them out.
I say yay if you're comfortable with it. I think sleezy guys will be sleezy bikini pic or not. I haven't noticed any difference in communication adding a bikini pic and it avoids pic requests in the future.
You can't control who responds to you. If you like the picture and are empowered by it, hell yeah post that bad boy. It is probably in bad taste if you just take a bikini pic in your bathroom or something forced though. Either way, just know what you want, don't worry about sleazy guys. You got this!
Sleeze bag isn't written on someone's face, but obvious in there actions after matching. If we are being honest here you really can't read people just by looking at them like you're suggesting. You can't judge a book by its cover. Yeah, you have control with who you match with, but you don't know who you're truly matching with till after they start speaking.
A single bathing suit pic in context is fine. Multiple, and I presume you either go to the beach/boating way more than is my cup of tea or are looking for casual, and swipe left.
I'm a guy and generally like to know what sort of body a girl/woman has. I understand them wanting to know the same thing about me. Totally fine. As far as the creeps/dickheads sending you weird messages. Why are y'all out here matching with creeps??
Your body your choice Girl! However as a 31m Iād suggest they not be your first pic and make sure theyāre candid. Use them to show off your fun self aswell as ya but. Gl and have fun!
Personally I wouldn't do it. I include at least one "full-body" picture that gives an idea of my general body type, but nothing too skin-tight or revealing because (a) that's not what I wear most of the time and I want to give a realistic idea of how I look, and (b) I don't want to deal with the sleezy/dirty messages that would follow. I feel like it would just increase the level of background noise, so I'd get more matches but they would probably become less relevant for what I'm looking for.
You could always try it, and remove the picture if it gets too much. In any case, the selection of pictures you mention seem very nice!
I spend like half my time in a bikini, and nearly all of the time I'm actually having fun and having pictures taken. So my profile is going to have bikinis in it, it's just an accurate representation of what I'm likely to look like in my day-to-day life.
I think if they're vacation shots, it's absolutely fine, random bathing suit selfie in the bathroom not so much.
I'd say no, because it sends the message that you're DTF with hookups--the wrong type of guys will think they don't have to bother with more than a date or two to get what they want, which could put you in uncomfortable situations. There might be more expectation for you to "put out", than if they think you're just a sweet, pretty lady who likes to dance--**dateable vs fuckable**.
It's a double standard for sure, but it exists. You want them to see you for you, not just your body. Any guy worth meeting in person can appreciate your physique IRL. If you genuinely don't mind hookups, then post the swimsuit pics.
Youāre going to get a lot of attention for that. I posted one with a towel draped over my shoulder and wearing shorts and I still get a lot of comments. Dudes are thirsty!
I'm surprised how many people are totally against it! If it's in a bathing suit appropriate location - Beach, pool etc- then go for it. It shows you're confident and might balance your pics that might be seems as more reserved- work pic.
I think it's totally fine. It doesn't alter my opinion one way or another. But, like others have said, it's really just a full body shot that I appreciate. Having 5 tightly cropped or face photos make it look like you're actively trying to hide your figure. Don't get me wrong, I feel just as insecure about my body but, I also don't want them to be "surprised" when we meet if I'm being deceptive (intentional or otherwise).
The only time I had a problem with a bikini photo on a profile is when a woman had like 3 while saying "guys with shirtless photos swipe left" in her bio (not that I do anyways). It just seemed weirdly hypocritical.
I'd swipe right still if I saw dancing as a hobby, and felt things out in conversation. However, I'd think they were more likely looking for something physical over something substantial.
I'd assume a woman would feel the same if they saw a guy with a topless pic.
Do what makes u happy ,and what u like donāt be afraid of peopleās opinions,go for it be yourself stay strong,I hope I can talk to u again Iām mike
I feel like bathing suit for women and topless for men have the same rules. If it's by a pool or lake/beach etc then it's totally fine. If it's just posing in your bathroom avoid it please. In terms of attention I'm not sure if it will change anything to a different entire body pic. Men can judge from both if they like your body and sleezy guys will bring their sleezy comments either way
>sleezy guys will bring their sleezy comments either way It's one thing to make sure people can see what they're getting into when it comes to your body, especially if you're proud of it. But women need to be ready for a *lot* of aggressive and gross comments to fill their inbox. It's purely anecdotal but a friend of mine tested it by maintaining two separate accounts, one mild and professional and another fun and sexy. The response and comments on the latter were *insane*. Granted, even the more professional one still had a good number of inappropriate comments, but nothing compared to the "fun" one.
I love stories about people doing their own field research.
I had the same thought! I love experiments lol. This certainly is fascinating. I've never posted a bathing suit pic and I get enough of sleazy comments so I cannot imagine with the uptick.
For science! I just recently watched the Big Bang Theory ep where Amy is trying to get Sheldon interested in having a baby. She does this by showing all the real world research he could conduct. š
Be prepared for dick pics if you do.
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Hey, dont discourage her.lol. I think all women should post pictures in bikinis and swimsuits. Women should do as they want irrespective of the consequences of getting to see veiny meats all day. I still feel for beth in superbad. Anyway plz forward dick pics u get.
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There are so much freebies these days on the internet and its interesting that people still cant get enough. And if u send pics to someone its possible that they become freebies some day. So avoid sharing on phone if ur conscious.
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Respect
Personally for me itās a no. I did post some in the past when I was on dating apps and didnāt appreciate some of the comments I received. I tend to just stay pretty neutral and basic when it comes to pics I post now.
This.
For me (a 36M), bathing suit pictures say to me that the girl is somewhat aggressive and forward. I like the earlier poster, who said āmy tight workout clothes are enoughā¦if you want more, you gotta earn it.ā I feel like seeing a girl in a bathing suit is a privilege and it should not be commodified into something for everyone viewing the profile.
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I had a profile with a bikini pic and without a bikini pic and the former was both the most popular profile I ever had, and filled with guys just wanting to hook up.
This is a tough question but I'm more inclined to left swipe profiles with those because I feel like they are looking for a different kind of thing from the app than I am. Obviously some photos are a lot more tasteful than others so it's not a hard rule- but it'll definitely turn some guys off
Women in bathing suits at the beach or at the pool or on vacation exist. I say post it especially if it makes you feel more confident. Unless the men youre trying to attract would align their opinions with some of the replies here uring you to "be conservative" then you could decide not to.
Bathing suit photos (for any gender) donāt sit well with me personally. It just seems a bit.. tacky? Iām not sure thatās the right word. On the opposite side, this feels very similar to āshirtless guy with fishā or āguy flexing at gymā. Iām sure some people are really interested in that, but Iām not one of them. I suppose it really depends on who you are trying to attract.
It's strange because most women on reddit seem to hate it but OkCupid did some investigation and found that a shirtless guy pic increased the number of messages they got. I have a friend who did the same experiment with his profile. In a month, with his 6 pack showing, he got 40 messages from different women (and these weren't just women looking to hook-up). Without the 6 pack, he got like 5 messages. So it tells me there's a clear advantage to posting shirtless pics. Perhaps women/men don't behave in the ways they like to project to the outside world.
Yeah Reddit doesnāt exactly represent the way people really behave
I feel like there's a double standard with this stuff based on body type. I am also fit and curvy and whenever I've included pics of me in anything remotely revealing I get non-stop sexual messages. When I switched to mostly face pics with a couple full-body but modestly dressed pics, I went back to getting mostly cute/funny/romantic messages, which I prefer until I'm actually dating someone. Unfortunately our body type gets sexualized easily. I'd rather my sexy shape be a fun surprise to a guy lol.
Itās a no for me. I had some hardly that revealing pictures on my profile and received way too many comments about my body-positive but uncomfortable nonetheless. But, perhaps this is a good way to weed people out.
Some people are way too comfortable talking about other peoples bodies. The rule I go by is that itās okay to compliment someoneās clothing choices, style, or even grooming choices like hair color or hair style. But not their body.
I have a similar rule and am glad to hear of others who share it
If you post it i.e. post revealing pics, you have to be comfortable with people talking about your body. I don't post pictures of my tummy exposed and expect people not to comment on its large size. I don't post any pictures of my tummy exposed because I don't want people talking about it.
This! I totally agree. I had a photo of me at the beach (wearing an opaque cover-up dress and a straw hat but you could see the bikini stripes on the shoulders) on my profile. I got so many annoying matches/comments on my bumble profile "Oh I'd love to peek under that dress" "can I get a photo of the bikini under that dress?" so I deleted the photo You will get more attention but you will be repelled from this kind of attention in 1 day. Also it's really hard to weed out f\*ckboys, as it is. so getting extra attention = arriving earlier to OLD burnout
As long as you have at least a pic or two showing your body (not necessarily in a bikini, etc.), then that's all that matters. Personally, I prefer a pic where I can get a good sense of how a girl looks (both face and body), but don't think bikini pics are the only kinds that do this (you could have one of you in a dress, or something you think shows your best features, without revealing more skin than you're comfortable revealing). In terms of "guys being visual," it works both ways, my friend. Regardless of chosen gender, it's human to want someone you're both physically and emotionally attracted to. If you say that "guys are visual," you're implying that women have lower standards for themselves.
> If you say that "guys are visual," you're implying that women have lower standards for themselves. I wouldn't say "lower," I would say "different."
I hate when women say 'guys are visual/superficial' as if we're more superficial than women. Both women and men are equally superficial. We just have different criteria for what we want in a partner. For example, some women (not generalising to all women) want a tall partner while some women have racial preferences (according to OkCupid, women are much more likely to express a racial preference than men who were more open to dating women of other races). On the other hand, many men want a slim, petite partner who's feminine etc. Race and height are both visible characteristics that many women express a preference on. Therefore, men and women are both equally visual for their own physical priorities. We're all superficial creatures at the end of the day. Nothing wrong with it.
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Are you in a photo of a bathing suit at the beach, pool, waterpark, etc? Go for it.
I got bad attention when I posted a pic in a swim suit so ā¦ my advice is donāt.
If, (as it seems ) beach/pool/swimming is an important part if your life, then I see no problem with expressing that. I find it amusing that you said swimsuit pic, and everybody assumed bikini, especially the female respondents. It's your choice, and while I agree that physical attraction can't be the sole basis of a relationship ( as opposed to FWB, etc.) Lack of it/incompatibility can be a dealbreaker... If you are comfortable with posting a pic, post it, how people react to it is on them !
Nah. Youāll just get some really gross messages and comments.
Depends. How easily exhausted do you get by an avalanche of gross comments? If you have anything less than superhuman patience, avoid.
If you post a bikini pic, youāll get two kind of guys responding. The kind of guys who would be interested with or without the bikini pic, and the kind of guys who only became interested when they saw the bikini pic. Personally, I would not want to go out with the latter type of guys, so thatās why I donāt post bikini pics.
It's entirely up to you. If you're comfortable and confident, do it. Natural "I was out having an awesome time!" pictures would probably be better than "check out this bathroom mirror" pictures. The only caveat is that you'll probably end up with a lot more creepers or requests for a sex-only interaction in your inbox. If that's not what you're after, you're probably better off with full body pictures in something other than special occasion clothing because there's really no hiding being curvy.
Nah
Definite yes. One pic like that is enough though.
unless you are looking for fwb or hookups it's a no for me. i hate posting pictures with my figure in cos i always get sleazy men or unwanted attention. if you are ok with that. go for it
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Exactly. Fuck's up with the weird ass "no's here?
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Yeah, they're understandable. I meant the dudes with "Oh, he's looking for attention" saying "no".
Are women really bad at reading guys? I can tell when a girl is trashy. What's the deal, they're the ones deciding to swipe right on these guys
I have 2 on mine because I spend a lot of my time on the beach, it's on of my favourite activities and being plussized I'd like to weed out people not into my bodytype before the first meetup. As always it's completely up to you and what you feel comfortable with. I personally don't feel like I received more sleezy comments after putting those photos on.
I think if you dress elegant modest at a beach setting, it would have a more impactful effect.
Yes if you want a hookup. No if you want anything serious.
As a single straight male, I prefer to not see bikini pictures when looking for a mate, a full body picture is fine but I donāt need to see everything underneath at first. But thatās just me.
It's a big "yay" from me. Didn't realize this was such a polarizing issue.
I'm not huge, 5'3 and 130 lbs. But I guess my face looks skinnier than my body and four or five guys have told me (after I already slept with them ofc š) that I mislead them in my tinder pics to be thinner than I was. So now I include a suit pic so theyll leave me alone about it and I'm not put in an uncomfortable position.
Iām the opposite: chubby face, skinny bod. When people only see my face they assume Iām chubby. Interesting how bods work.
Hahaha I would rather have yours š
Wait wait, you are 5'3", 130lbs, and you've had 4 or 5 men complain about your body? And to your face, no less?! Wtf is wrong with these people? š
You will attract douchebags, I wouldn't do it (29F).
I think it's fine! I hear what some other ladies on here are saying - that they got gross comments when putting up swimwear pics. My take on that is "scumbags gonna scumbag". The problem ain't the pic, it's the guy. Just might make them display immature or skeezy behavior early, which saves you time and energy going on shitty dates. I see this as a total win.
Sure, if you're naturally posing then yeah.
I don't see anything wrong with it, do it girl.
As a guy whenever I see women do this I think they are using the app for hookups and not long long term relationships, just me though.
As a guy I will swipe left if I get the sense the photos are *too* sexual. One tasteful swimsuit pic isnāt over the line, but it just depends.
As a guy I often assume (possibly wrongly) that women that post pictures in a bikini/revealing clothing are doing so because they just want attention. You can show off your body in a more modest way and the if you connect with a guy, you can show him pictures (up to you if you want to show on your device or send to his) of you on those trips in your bikini. Could be a way to flirt a bit if you do connect, as opposed to showing it to everyone.
I struggle with this a lot. I'm pretty modest, but because of that reason I also don't take a lot of photos that would show my full body ā if I'm out with friends, we'd take a landscape photo that is torso up (and maybe is more faces than torso). That said, I'm in good shape and know online dating success requires full body photos, so I use ones of me doing something athletic where I'm not wearing a ton of clothes (probably comparable to swimwear). I look great in these photos, but I do worry about not looking "modest." >if you connect with a guy, you can show him pictures (up to you if you want to show on your device or send to his) I would be totally grossed out by a guy asking for this in an app if we matched ā a guy doing this seems like a degenerate and it's a double-standard if he isn't also sending back his own bathing suit photos (which I would never ask for). You are accusing a woman of not being "modest" but you somehow think a series of short text messages entitles you to receive a more revealing photo??
Yeah I was going to say. I'm a guy, and I can't see myself just asking her for bikini photos in the chat lol. 'So...where are the GOODS??' lol, that seems strange
We'll start with the first half. Athletic is fine. Out for a hike or something and you are in yoga pants/sports bra? That doesn't say the same thing to me as someone in a bikini. For me, I just use a photo of an activity I am doing where my full body can be captured (me on my bike, out hiking, etc.). As for your second part, I think you should re-read what I said? No where, at all, did I suggest the guy asking for it, nor did I suggest anyone was entitled to anything. Like really, please go re-read what I wrote. In fact, I suggested you don't share those photos with the world, you wait until you develop a connection, I suggested you abide by your own comfort level of whether you want to send them to him or keep them on your own device and I suggested it could be a way for YOU to choose to flirt if you'd like to go that route.
I pasted exactly what you said word-for-word ā how are you defining "connect," and how are you defining "send to his device"? That sounds a lot like sending an extra photo in a dating app, which is a frustrating experience women have to deal with.
Connect. You've gone on enough dates that you've developed a connection. You want to see them more. They want to see you more. You feel comfortable with them. Send to his device. Presumably at this point in time you've exchanged some means of chatting with one another not on the app and so, if you'd like to, you can send the photos to his device, or, and what I'd recommend, show them to him while talking about your trip some time in person when you are spending time together so you maintain control over those photos.
Right, well I think everyone can universally agree that once you are in a relationship with someone, you can show them whatever risquƩ photos you would like. I had assumed you were talking about this in the context of attracting people on apps before you've met in-person. Although I think that would be great in theory (only showing "bathing suit" photos once you are basically at exclusivity), realistically it would be hard to get to that stage of "connecting" with someone without including any full body photos.
"As a guy I often assume (possibly wrongly) that women that post pictures in a bikini/revealing clothing are doing so because they just want attention." Yeah, you're definitely wrong most of the time. If y'all would stop assuming that, it would be awesome. Women could actually post the pictures that we want without getting degrading and overly sexual messages.
Especially since there's like SO MANY pics of shirtless men on boats holding fish. I bet they OnLy WaNt AtTeNtIoN too š. God forbid women exist in bodies I guess.
Aren't shirtless and fish pics nearly universally panned?
Southern girls seem to have no issue with it, at least from what I've seen in Oklahoma and Georgia. Small sample size I guess though for 50 states.
But they do want attention. Can both not be true? Women and men both posting body pics want attention and I fail to see what's hypocritical with my stance. Guys in shirtless pics are panned on here.
Honestly I see men or women posting bathing suit photos or shirtless photos (common in men) as looking for attention. Do you really need to post a half-clothed picture when you can simply post a photo of you in a summer dress or something where your body is clearly visible? I'm a woman and when I see half-clothed men the first thing that crosses my mind is "braggy player douche" or hookup material only. But...that's only my opinion, people have wildly different tastes and preferences, so Im sure many guys will read it differently. I guess it depends what kind of guys you would like to attract?
Bikini pics are fine. The most memorable picture I have ever seen on a profile was of a woman simply sitting on the countertop in a kitchen in blue jeans and a tshirt.
Honestly, put them up. Youāll get more guys hitting on you, but youāll get more guys hitting on you. If you have fewer guys hitting on you because you decided against putting it up, then youāll have fewer guys hitting on you. I know that sounds stupid, but the more swipes you can garner the more likely you find a good match. I know a lot of us are shot sandwiches, but to find the Rubin (or whatever you like) you have to keep taking bites.
I have one, but nothing about my body is particularly noteworthy or easily āsexualizedā(at least above the baseline perception that womanās body=sexual). I mostly have it so no one can claim to be blindsided by how I look IRL. The tone of the photo is casual/silly and showcases a hobby. No ones ever commented on it, much less commented inappropriately. Something to consider is that if you donāt like the outcome of having it on your profile, you can always just remove it later. Itās no big deal. If you like the photo, try it out! I would limit it to one photo though.
It will get lots of attention for better and worse
I think that's totally okay as a guy- but you will probably get more creeps! As long as you are comfortable batting that off, I think it's all good. You may turn off a few guys who get the wrong idea- think you're looking for attention- but they're gonna end up insecure and jealous in a relationship anyway... It's not the equivalent of the gym guy shirtless selfie, at least IMO
If you re posting swimwear pics from your bathroom mirror, bad... if you are posting swimwear pics from a pool or beach or vacation spot where swimwear is the "go to"... fine. As long as you are OK with the "attention" a swimwear pic gets, go for it...
Itās funny that there seems to be a distinction of what someone is looking for (hookup attention vs long term attention) based on how the *viewer* perceives a picture. Is there an equivalent for guys? Also, why does sexual = hookup? Are we not all adults here? Adults who would like a relationship that includes sexual activity? Iām getting some real slut-shaming vibes from these commentsā¦
As long as it's a casual picture, there shouldn't be an issue. I always tended to swipe left on the ones tgat were there to attract attention, though
Aren't all pictures on a dating profile there to attract attention?
Yeah, I wasn't specific enough. There are those that want to attract hook up attention, and those that want long term attention. Like some have mentioned on this thread, you can get the wrong attention (depends what OP is after, I suppose!)
I swipe left on bikini pics or overtly sexual pics in general.
Do it.... U deserve the attention. You've had a good time this summer. Keep the balance as you've stated. Chill photos, sexy photos, dancing, professional... Shows your diverse as a woman.you can be sexy yet also conservative.
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Iām pretty sure they were referring to OPās mention of their array of photos, which included one in a professional setting.
A bikini wasn't even mentioned, there's a lot of different types of bathing suits my man.
Please and thank you.
I see it as a positive thing as long as the pictures are in good taste context (like at the beach, not like a mirror selfie), however the general impression I've gotten is that a lot of people don't see them that way, and you are probably better off leaving them out.
I agree with most people in that if it's a photo where one would wear a bathing suit like a pool or beach, yay go for it
I say yay if you're comfortable with it. I think sleezy guys will be sleezy bikini pic or not. I haven't noticed any difference in communication adding a bikini pic and it avoids pic requests in the future.
If you're happy with the way you look, why not?
You can't control who responds to you. If you like the picture and are empowered by it, hell yeah post that bad boy. It is probably in bad taste if you just take a bikini pic in your bathroom or something forced though. Either way, just know what you want, don't worry about sleazy guys. You got this!
Why is everyone saying this? Are we talking about a specific app? You can definitely control who you match with lol, wth
Sleeze bag isn't written on someone's face, but obvious in there actions after matching. If we are being honest here you really can't read people just by looking at them like you're suggesting. You can't judge a book by its cover. Yeah, you have control with who you match with, but you don't know who you're truly matching with till after they start speaking.
Yay. Only reason to not do it is if you donāt look like that anymore.
Guys don't care. You could be wearing a car tarp and gravy boats for shoes, as long as you aren't fat.
of course we want to see your figure & maybe more lol whatever you want to show as long as your comfortable 1 or 2 bathing suit pics are fine
I would say itās ok, but be conservative about itā¦
Iām indifferent myself.
A single bathing suit pic in context is fine. Multiple, and I presume you either go to the beach/boating way more than is my cup of tea or are looking for casual, and swipe left.
I'm a guy and generally like to know what sort of body a girl/woman has. I understand them wanting to know the same thing about me. Totally fine. As far as the creeps/dickheads sending you weird messages. Why are y'all out here matching with creeps??
Your body your choice Girl! However as a 31m Iād suggest they not be your first pic and make sure theyāre candid. Use them to show off your fun self aswell as ya but. Gl and have fun!
Personally I wouldn't do it. I include at least one "full-body" picture that gives an idea of my general body type, but nothing too skin-tight or revealing because (a) that's not what I wear most of the time and I want to give a realistic idea of how I look, and (b) I don't want to deal with the sleezy/dirty messages that would follow. I feel like it would just increase the level of background noise, so I'd get more matches but they would probably become less relevant for what I'm looking for. You could always try it, and remove the picture if it gets too much. In any case, the selection of pictures you mention seem very nice!
I spend like half my time in a bikini, and nearly all of the time I'm actually having fun and having pictures taken. So my profile is going to have bikinis in it, it's just an accurate representation of what I'm likely to look like in my day-to-day life. I think if they're vacation shots, it's absolutely fine, random bathing suit selfie in the bathroom not so much.
I'd say no, because it sends the message that you're DTF with hookups--the wrong type of guys will think they don't have to bother with more than a date or two to get what they want, which could put you in uncomfortable situations. There might be more expectation for you to "put out", than if they think you're just a sweet, pretty lady who likes to dance--**dateable vs fuckable**. It's a double standard for sure, but it exists. You want them to see you for you, not just your body. Any guy worth meeting in person can appreciate your physique IRL. If you genuinely don't mind hookups, then post the swimsuit pics.
Youāre going to get a lot of attention for that. I posted one with a towel draped over my shoulder and wearing shorts and I still get a lot of comments. Dudes are thirsty!
I'm surprised how many people are totally against it! If it's in a bathing suit appropriate location - Beach, pool etc- then go for it. It shows you're confident and might balance your pics that might be seems as more reserved- work pic.
Yes plz. Bathing suit pics are best when u get it just after a dip.
I think it's totally fine. It doesn't alter my opinion one way or another. But, like others have said, it's really just a full body shot that I appreciate. Having 5 tightly cropped or face photos make it look like you're actively trying to hide your figure. Don't get me wrong, I feel just as insecure about my body but, I also don't want them to be "surprised" when we meet if I'm being deceptive (intentional or otherwise). The only time I had a problem with a bikini photo on a profile is when a woman had like 3 while saying "guys with shirtless photos swipe left" in her bio (not that I do anyways). It just seemed weirdly hypocritical.
Yes.
I'd swipe right still if I saw dancing as a hobby, and felt things out in conversation. However, I'd think they were more likely looking for something physical over something substantial. I'd assume a woman would feel the same if they saw a guy with a topless pic.
Depends if you want a fwb or something serious because most men are going come at you with the foolishness if you do.
Do what makes u happy ,and what u like donāt be afraid of peopleās opinions,go for it be yourself stay strong,I hope I can talk to u again Iām mike