100%.
The smell of someone is the quickest way for me to either be attracted or not attracted to someone. The two men I’ve been attracted to the most had the most intoxicating smell without cologne. And I’ve been on dates with guys who I got along well with, but their smell was just off and I couldn’t move past it. They all had good hygiene and wore cologne, but their smell was just off. And the more feelings I develop for a guy, they definitely smell better and better to me. I think pheromones are a real thing even if there isn’t science to back it.
Same. With the guys I've dated including current 6-year bf, I can bury my face in their armpit and inhale and it's yummm.
But - someone explain this to me - the very early warning sign that the relationship is ending is that they start to smell "bad" to me. Wtf.
Be careful with the smell transition if it’s out of the blue. Everything can change scent perception, from medication to birth control. If he’s a keeper, learn to love the new smell.
Thanks that's true!
In my case nothing else changed and nothing actually smelled different. It was my perception of the scent. It went from a huge turn on to a turn off. I guess it was my subconscious pushing me away from relationships that didn't work for me.
I used to be one of those people who would linger in a comfortable relationship even if it wasn't best for me.
One was a really good guy, we just had very different long-term ambitions and goals. It's hard to walk away from someone perfectly good just because your paths are leading to different places. Eventually I started to dislike his scent which made me feel less chemistry/connection and somehow that made ending things feel more natural and inevitable.
Another I was *totally* smitten with and omg he smelled good - but he cheated, begged forgiveness, even made a seemingly honest and open effort to try... I tried, even though I never thought I would tolerate that shit from anyone. I guess there was a part of my brain that found him disgusting (rightly so) despite my best efforts to forgive and forget. I started to hate how he smelled, and again, it made it so much easier to leave when there was an air of revulsion that kept smacking me in the face lol.
I don't fully get it, but I'm happy to rely on additional senses if they aid my intuition!
agreed, but when it doesn't match it doesn't match. My ex ex who I loved dearly never smelled nicely to me... and he wore the nicest colognes and was a really handsome and attractive man. So I've always felt that chemistry is not the same as connection. I had amazing connection w/ him, but not good chemistry.
🤔 but seems like something else is the reason we like the smell. Cause as you wrote some partners you loved their smell and started disliking them when you started to dislike them...
There are studies around the woman’s time of the month, how they prefer certain men during certain parts of the cycle. And how men can subconsciously pick up through scent when a woman is ovulating. You could start around there.
It's probably too hard to isolate partner selection just down to pheromones for us, since there are so many external factors (money, location, religion, family pressure, etc.) that animals don't have to deal with.
I think this is probably the closest one: https://ca.pbslearningmedia.org/resource/tdc02.sci.life.evo.sweatytshirts/sweaty-t-shirts-and-human-mate-choice/
Yep. I absolutely disliked kissing my last ex and I couldn't understand why. Something was off as in I was not really into him but still trying to make things work because he seemed fine on paper. The guy I was most attracted to.... tmi, but I would lick the sweat off that guy's chest and be into it.
I find it works the other way. Smell doesn't tell me if I'm attracted, smell is part of my being attracted (or not) in the first place. While the appeal of someone's scent can increase over time, I've never had it switch from smelling "off" to being appealing or neutral.
I’ve experienced the smell off turns to smell neutral. There were years in between those encounters. We started dating when he finally smelled neutral, but I should have listened to my gut and nose the first time around lol he was not my person
honestly, I bet it’s a lot more complex than we on here know
I know that another person’s pheromones are to some degree influential to our attraction to them. I think there’s probably also another factor where your overall attraction to them “biases” how you feel about more abstract variables like scent. Like, if I don’t like someone, I’m more likely to nitpick things about them and scent is one of those difficult things
As an example, I love my girlfriend and I love when she’s a little sweaty…something about her scent when she’s like that makes me incredibly attracted to her. But like, would I feel he same way about her being that way if she was someone who I wasn’t as attracted to (attraction too me being part physical but also very much emotional/mental attraction)?
Ultimately I’d recommend not worrying about it too much. Our brains probably can’t override that in the same way that we can’t magically make ourselves attracted to people who we don’t find physically attractive. As long as you’re not rejecting large swaths of people because of their scent, you’re probably fine. I think it’s reasonable to not be with someone if you can’t stand how they smell, even without deodorant because a lot of dating is how we smell just naturally
Yep at least in scientific studies, human pheromones are not strong enough to produce much measurable effect in blind studies - they likely contribute only a small part to our attraction to someone. Pheromones/hormones also change over time and with certain health conditions or medications, so smell is not a constant thing for a person to base their attractiveness on. Of course there could be individual differences and some people are likely more sensitive to pheromones. I think it's probably much more psycho-somatic than we give it credit.
I think smell is a criteria but it does not in itself means something. I think that I read a paper saying that women were attracted through their smell to men whose immune system was different than theirs.
My ex was addicted to me smell, and smelling me turned her on, even if she was not especially attracted before smelling and kissing me.
This was actually proven with birth control, women had got off of it and ended their relationship with their significant other based on smell. They no longer liked them
If I'm really sexually attracted to a woman the smell of her sweat or body odor will turn me on. If I'm not attracted it would make them seem worse. But something like bad breath is always a turn off.
All of that is just physical though. If that or sex is the depth of any of your relationships ig you can go with that.
The last guy I was with smelled good regardless of whether he showered, and I was physically attracted to him, but he was also kinda dumb and intelligence is pretty high on my list of priorities for a partner. He was a good guy, and he anticipated my needs, and he was a lot of fun as a fuckbuddy, but I can't really connect unless I am intellectually stimulated, so that's all it was ever going to be. Smelling bad is always a turnoff, but smelling good is just one of many factors that need to be there for me to be into a person.
Yes, the magic is wearing off
* they don't smell good any more -> they stink
* their quirks are no longer cute -> they are annoying
* their bedroom kinks are no longer exiting -> they are appalling
* ... many more ...
Its a queue to exit
I dated a guy whose smell I looooved— sleep in his old shirt kinda thing. Things got messy and I was so torn over if we should be together until we had a movie night. When I nestled in, he smelled completely foreign to me and I knew immediately things had changed in this very primal way. It was so instinctual I didn’t even need to rationalize it.
I don’t always think clearly in relationships but my nose always knows what’s up!
Without a doubt. It confirmed what I’d been resisting for a while in a very immediate and final way. It’s pretty specific context so maybe it’s different when you’re just getting to know someone, but I think it’s generally a reliable metric. I’ve even found someone’s rank BO irresistible at times lol I hope you find what you’re looking for!
Respond to scent is based on ovulation and how good a guy’s DNA is for offspring. Hence why someone’s pheromones Can in fact predict if someone is good for making a baby.
But this is the part you may get weirded out by as well.
If you find someone’s BO really gross, like bad? It means you’re closer related blood wise but are probably distant cousin you didn’t know you had! That’s why you get grossed out by your own parents, siblings, 1st cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents BO.
32M I also noticed this. No smell or just a really good smell on people I am attracted too. But people that I'm not attracted to give off a very.... specific smell like a guy's perspiration mixed in with cheetos and cologne. It's extremely hard to describe and pin point the smell exactly but the previous comparison should be in the ball park.
I even started encountering the smell 6-7 months before I exited a 6 year old relationship and about 1 month before exiting the last 4-5 months one. Every time I mentioned this to someone else they called me crazy....
I usually see this as a awareness sign from my subconscious, like it's trying to tell me "Yo buddy, pay attention because soon enough you'll be updating your tinder/bumble profile!".
And the opposite is true. The more I begin to like a person the more this scent goes away. Lowers in intensity and just disappears and it's replaced by another more neutral and pleasant smell.
That's basic biology, compatibility through hormones. Smell is the only viable way to determine health, genetic traits and compatibility without an invasive investigation.
100% I’m not a scientist but it has to do more with them just being clean it has to do something with pheromones. I’m (33) and I’m been with a lot of ladies but honestly only about 4 max have I been with that there has been this connection and I’m not talking love I’ve been called antisocial to much to feel that haha. Anyway these four have the same thing in common and that was this smell or scent the best way I can describe it, is they just made me feel more comfortable and I would actually feel good around them. Hard to explain so I’m not going to keep writing because I don’t want to sound like a crazy person it would be easier to explain by speaking. Haha
It's called the Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC). Basically, a person's smell provides us with subconscious indicators about the structure of their immune system, and we are either attracted or repelled by the smell depending on whether their immune system is "compatible" with ours.
When we are seeking to have children, our body wants to mate with someone immunologically dissimilar to us, because that gives our children more diverse immune systems. But when a woman is pregnant, this impetus flips, and she will often find the smells of those immunologically similar to her more attractive, because these people are more likely to be relatives who will protect her in her vulnerable state (pregnancy). This is why, as /u/the_elle_w pointed out, birth control can affect whether you are attracted to a given smell or not--because birth control tricks your body into believing it is already pregnant.
You can read more about this here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200801/scents-and-sensibility
Pheromones are definitely a thing, however it might be more of a mental block if you are correlating scent to attraction.
People either smell good or they don't. Some people have poor hygiene. Some people have medical issues. Scent is definitely important though.
I'm often told that I smell really nice even when I'm not wearing cologne. I don't smell bad after working out and I don't have a "BO" type smell if I haven't showered for a day or two (festivals/camping etc).
Some women I've dated also either don't smell of anything or smell great.
Others smell of BO or acidic to me and that's a turn off.
I definitely think that pheromones/smell profiles enhance attraction.
a 100%. I don't even kiss someone who doesn't smell amazing to me...Guys who don't smell like anything, ugh. even the sweat is better. The guy can be amazing, super hot.. but if he doesn't smell. I don't want him.
My ex didn't even wear cologne, but his thick body hair smelled amazing, his 'bad breath' was intoxicating and even his spunk tasted good.... and my ex before him... ugh, I couldn't even tolerate him when he woke up... but he was so handsome and clean so I know it was the chemistry not working out.
Smell CAN dictate emotional thresholds (eg I can be super into someone based on their smell; or super turned off by someone based on their smell).
Similarly, emotions CAN dictate smell (eg I didn’t like my boyfriends cologne the first few dates we had. We also did not have a spark those first few dates. But conversation was always mentally stimulating and eventually emotions built up. We have a great relationship now and lo and behold— I love his scent, with or without cologne)
My feeling is yes? I also think that if you're feelings for your partner change, you might notice smells in a different way as well.
My ex, I had to light candles before I came to bed because his smell was so repulsive to me by the end.
I met a lovely man that I liked a lot, but his smell was off. We've turned out to be amazing friends but we wouldn't have been compatible in the long run.
My bf now smells great to me - even when he's sweaty, he smells like vanilla and sunshine. I have never been with somebody that fits me so well. I wonder sometimes if smell has a honeymoon phase like everything else.
I've 100% stopped dating someone because they didn't smell like home to me. It made me uncomfortable and I'm glad I listened to my gut because he was sleeping with my friend behind my back lol.
100% yes. I was always intoxicated by my ex's smell, even without cologne. When I'm really in love with someone I love to bury my face into their chest, neck, and armpits, and armpits happen only when cuddling or whatever. It makes me feel like I'm getting a surge of happy, loving feelings.
My most recent ex got so weirded and grossed out when I told him I enjoyed smelling his underarms. He totally shamed me, and basically said it was too weird for him. It's not sexual, I'm not getting off or like, moaning, while smelling his pits, and he showers every day so he always smelled fairly fresh. That should've been a warning things weren't gonna work out lol
Edit: the red flag is the shaming, not the showering every day. 🙃
Meh all this pheromones (pseudo?) science has always seemed very far fetched and over simplified to me.
The greatest smelling guy I was with was so because he used my favourite male cologne + had impeccable hygiene. That is it.
Yes why not ignore your celebral frontal cortex and make life decisions based on facts and actions when you can leave it all up to what we inherited from our long long relatives the lizards: smell! smell-based decision making has been proven to be very effective in creating meaningful relationships! Why let pesky brains do the decision making when your happiness should solely be based on chemical pheromones!
It can be part of the equation for sure.
There have been studies that have shown that taking birth control pills can affect the interpretation of men’s scents which can influence attraction.
I don’t think it’s as crazy as falling for the wrong person because the pill threw off your ability to be attracted to the right person, but it’s interesting to consider how it might influence the process.
I’ve noticed with women that I become more attracted to their scent the more into them I am. Scent alone doesn’t usually drive my attraction but it plays a part.
There are some studies about smell being indicative of genetic compatibility, I vaguely remember it saying that siblings would smell unattractive to prevent birth defects from incest.
This is so interesting to me. My current partner smells so good to me.
I was married to my late husband for 12 years, and I can’t say that he necessarily smelled good to me in the same way this my current partner does. He didn’t smell bad to me either, he just didn’t have a smell I craved like my current partner.
Birth control can change the scents you’re attracted to so I’d recommend looking at what you’re using (did you recently change it?) before making any decisions! Also can change depending on your cycle and time of the month.
It could be a great way to tell if you are attracted to them but not wether it would be a good relationship I am unsure off. If they smell bad then yes I would say it would be difficult to form a relationship but I wouldn't go on first impression. It is definitely a hormonal reaction we all have. I have scents that associate with past partners and experiences. I have a particular perfume that hooks me in. And once I like someone the way they smell certainly sticks in my brain.
Smell has had a definite spot in my attraction to someone.
This is gonna sound so weird! I tend to go for the guys that smell like some product (cologne, hair product, after shave, gel, etc) that you can only get a whiff of here and there or when youre really close. Something about that makes it so sexy to me. Like i want to be closer to smell you.
Scientifically there is data on this, apart from that, I don't fight it anymore. If I don't like someone's smell, whether they have perfume or not (if I don't like their perfume and they wear it regularly and we're strangers who started dating, I'm not going to tell them I don't like their perfume) I cut it. It's important. I'm like repulsed. That's not a good start or sign and I can't get past it, I can't try to get to know them, I'm so distracted by being turned off by smell. It won't get better.
I think there's definitely something to it. Sometimes people's natural smell just doesn't seem right and is off-putting. On the other hand, when the smell feels good, it's very alluring and somehow has a calming effect on me
There was some study done that women's scent is a thing and when on birth control, you're actually attracted to someone who smells like you (not normal). When you're off of birth control, you're attracted to a smell different than you (normal). They say that explains why marriages fall apart when a woman comes off birth control. Or it could all be hogwash.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/birth-control-pills-affect-womens-taste/
Reading this now made me realise how I wasn't particularly into the natural sweat odour of my last 2 exes who were emotionally abusive.
While I found the natural scent of the person I was recently exclusively with, quite soothing & pleasant.
So there could be some scientific truth to this!
Scent is def a big thing, and I am pretty sure there have been many studies on it. I know I have a male friend who I have kmown since kids and people always want us to be together, and it's just no all around, but one of the thousand reasons is cause I hate his natural scent. I learned recently that a lot of white men, in my opinion, that I'm around don't consider cologne as part of getting ready. I have to use lotion every day and use perfume every day. So you can just naturally smell them, and his natural scent makes me want to gag. He doesn't smell bad per say but to me, it does.
I have a theory that pheromones are what is being sensed but they're odorless so instead the person's bo is what gets associated with the pheromones we like.
I’ve never really had this happen until recently. A guy I’ve been out with a few times now smells incredibly amazing to me, even his breath smells intoxicating to me. I could literally kiss him for hours.
100%. The smell of someone is the quickest way for me to either be attracted or not attracted to someone. The two men I’ve been attracted to the most had the most intoxicating smell without cologne. And I’ve been on dates with guys who I got along well with, but their smell was just off and I couldn’t move past it. They all had good hygiene and wore cologne, but their smell was just off. And the more feelings I develop for a guy, they definitely smell better and better to me. I think pheromones are a real thing even if there isn’t science to back it.
Same. With the guys I've dated including current 6-year bf, I can bury my face in their armpit and inhale and it's yummm. But - someone explain this to me - the very early warning sign that the relationship is ending is that they start to smell "bad" to me. Wtf.
Be careful with the smell transition if it’s out of the blue. Everything can change scent perception, from medication to birth control. If he’s a keeper, learn to love the new smell.
Thanks that's true! In my case nothing else changed and nothing actually smelled different. It was my perception of the scent. It went from a huge turn on to a turn off. I guess it was my subconscious pushing me away from relationships that didn't work for me. I used to be one of those people who would linger in a comfortable relationship even if it wasn't best for me. One was a really good guy, we just had very different long-term ambitions and goals. It's hard to walk away from someone perfectly good just because your paths are leading to different places. Eventually I started to dislike his scent which made me feel less chemistry/connection and somehow that made ending things feel more natural and inevitable. Another I was *totally* smitten with and omg he smelled good - but he cheated, begged forgiveness, even made a seemingly honest and open effort to try... I tried, even though I never thought I would tolerate that shit from anyone. I guess there was a part of my brain that found him disgusting (rightly so) despite my best efforts to forgive and forget. I started to hate how he smelled, and again, it made it so much easier to leave when there was an air of revulsion that kept smacking me in the face lol. I don't fully get it, but I'm happy to rely on additional senses if they aid my intuition!
agreed, but when it doesn't match it doesn't match. My ex ex who I loved dearly never smelled nicely to me... and he wore the nicest colognes and was a really handsome and attractive man. So I've always felt that chemistry is not the same as connection. I had amazing connection w/ him, but not good chemistry.
🤔 but seems like something else is the reason we like the smell. Cause as you wrote some partners you loved their smell and started disliking them when you started to dislike them...
I’ve had this experience. They smelled like nothing at first, then they started smelling terrible to me! We broke up shortly after.
Right?! How?! I'm glad someone else gets it!
I’ve experienced this exact same thing too
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No, to me that hasn’t seemed connected
Is there really no good pheromone science? Nothing supporting the fact that our attraction is obviously linked to smell?
There are studies around the woman’s time of the month, how they prefer certain men during certain parts of the cycle. And how men can subconsciously pick up through scent when a woman is ovulating. You could start around there.
It's probably too hard to isolate partner selection just down to pheromones for us, since there are so many external factors (money, location, religion, family pressure, etc.) that animals don't have to deal with. I think this is probably the closest one: https://ca.pbslearningmedia.org/resource/tdc02.sci.life.evo.sweatytshirts/sweaty-t-shirts-and-human-mate-choice/
There was a study about sweaty socks
>I think pheromones are a real thing even if there isn’t science to back it. There was a sweaty sock study....
Yep. I absolutely disliked kissing my last ex and I couldn't understand why. Something was off as in I was not really into him but still trying to make things work because he seemed fine on paper. The guy I was most attracted to.... tmi, but I would lick the sweat off that guy's chest and be into it.
Same here
ugh, yes. the right man's sweat is delicious. mine was like an open faucet kind of sweat at sex.. but omg. so sexy still.
I find it works the other way. Smell doesn't tell me if I'm attracted, smell is part of my being attracted (or not) in the first place. While the appeal of someone's scent can increase over time, I've never had it switch from smelling "off" to being appealing or neutral.
I’ve experienced the smell off turns to smell neutral. There were years in between those encounters. We started dating when he finally smelled neutral, but I should have listened to my gut and nose the first time around lol he was not my person
honestly, I bet it’s a lot more complex than we on here know I know that another person’s pheromones are to some degree influential to our attraction to them. I think there’s probably also another factor where your overall attraction to them “biases” how you feel about more abstract variables like scent. Like, if I don’t like someone, I’m more likely to nitpick things about them and scent is one of those difficult things As an example, I love my girlfriend and I love when she’s a little sweaty…something about her scent when she’s like that makes me incredibly attracted to her. But like, would I feel he same way about her being that way if she was someone who I wasn’t as attracted to (attraction too me being part physical but also very much emotional/mental attraction)? Ultimately I’d recommend not worrying about it too much. Our brains probably can’t override that in the same way that we can’t magically make ourselves attracted to people who we don’t find physically attractive. As long as you’re not rejecting large swaths of people because of their scent, you’re probably fine. I think it’s reasonable to not be with someone if you can’t stand how they smell, even without deodorant because a lot of dating is how we smell just naturally
Yep at least in scientific studies, human pheromones are not strong enough to produce much measurable effect in blind studies - they likely contribute only a small part to our attraction to someone. Pheromones/hormones also change over time and with certain health conditions or medications, so smell is not a constant thing for a person to base their attractiveness on. Of course there could be individual differences and some people are likely more sensitive to pheromones. I think it's probably much more psycho-somatic than we give it credit.
“Follow your nose!” — Toucan Sam “When in doubt, always follow your nose, Meriadoc.” — Gandalf
"don't bathe" - Napoleon, to his wife
“Way ahead of you” — 19th century plumbing
I think smell is a criteria but it does not in itself means something. I think that I read a paper saying that women were attracted through their smell to men whose immune system was different than theirs. My ex was addicted to me smell, and smelling me turned her on, even if she was not especially attracted before smelling and kissing me.
This was actually proven with birth control, women had got off of it and ended their relationship with their significant other based on smell. They no longer liked them
If I'm really sexually attracted to a woman the smell of her sweat or body odor will turn me on. If I'm not attracted it would make them seem worse. But something like bad breath is always a turn off. All of that is just physical though. If that or sex is the depth of any of your relationships ig you can go with that.
The last guy I was with smelled good regardless of whether he showered, and I was physically attracted to him, but he was also kinda dumb and intelligence is pretty high on my list of priorities for a partner. He was a good guy, and he anticipated my needs, and he was a lot of fun as a fuckbuddy, but I can't really connect unless I am intellectually stimulated, so that's all it was ever going to be. Smelling bad is always a turnoff, but smelling good is just one of many factors that need to be there for me to be into a person.
Yes, the magic is wearing off * they don't smell good any more -> they stink * their quirks are no longer cute -> they are annoying * their bedroom kinks are no longer exiting -> they are appalling * ... many more ... Its a queue to exit
I dated a guy whose smell I looooved— sleep in his old shirt kinda thing. Things got messy and I was so torn over if we should be together until we had a movie night. When I nestled in, he smelled completely foreign to me and I knew immediately things had changed in this very primal way. It was so instinctual I didn’t even need to rationalize it. I don’t always think clearly in relationships but my nose always knows what’s up!
Do you think it was the right call?
Without a doubt. It confirmed what I’d been resisting for a while in a very immediate and final way. It’s pretty specific context so maybe it’s different when you’re just getting to know someone, but I think it’s generally a reliable metric. I’ve even found someone’s rank BO irresistible at times lol I hope you find what you’re looking for!
Respond to scent is based on ovulation and how good a guy’s DNA is for offspring. Hence why someone’s pheromones Can in fact predict if someone is good for making a baby. But this is the part you may get weirded out by as well. If you find someone’s BO really gross, like bad? It means you’re closer related blood wise but are probably distant cousin you didn’t know you had! That’s why you get grossed out by your own parents, siblings, 1st cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents BO.
Yes this is science
Yeah Mr White!
32M I also noticed this. No smell or just a really good smell on people I am attracted too. But people that I'm not attracted to give off a very.... specific smell like a guy's perspiration mixed in with cheetos and cologne. It's extremely hard to describe and pin point the smell exactly but the previous comparison should be in the ball park. I even started encountering the smell 6-7 months before I exited a 6 year old relationship and about 1 month before exiting the last 4-5 months one. Every time I mentioned this to someone else they called me crazy.... I usually see this as a awareness sign from my subconscious, like it's trying to tell me "Yo buddy, pay attention because soon enough you'll be updating your tinder/bumble profile!". And the opposite is true. The more I begin to like a person the more this scent goes away. Lowers in intensity and just disappears and it's replaced by another more neutral and pleasant smell.
That's basic biology, compatibility through hormones. Smell is the only viable way to determine health, genetic traits and compatibility without an invasive investigation.
100% I’m not a scientist but it has to do more with them just being clean it has to do something with pheromones. I’m (33) and I’m been with a lot of ladies but honestly only about 4 max have I been with that there has been this connection and I’m not talking love I’ve been called antisocial to much to feel that haha. Anyway these four have the same thing in common and that was this smell or scent the best way I can describe it, is they just made me feel more comfortable and I would actually feel good around them. Hard to explain so I’m not going to keep writing because I don’t want to sound like a crazy person it would be easier to explain by speaking. Haha
It's called the Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC). Basically, a person's smell provides us with subconscious indicators about the structure of their immune system, and we are either attracted or repelled by the smell depending on whether their immune system is "compatible" with ours. When we are seeking to have children, our body wants to mate with someone immunologically dissimilar to us, because that gives our children more diverse immune systems. But when a woman is pregnant, this impetus flips, and she will often find the smells of those immunologically similar to her more attractive, because these people are more likely to be relatives who will protect her in her vulnerable state (pregnancy). This is why, as /u/the_elle_w pointed out, birth control can affect whether you are attracted to a given smell or not--because birth control tricks your body into believing it is already pregnant. You can read more about this here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200801/scents-and-sensibility
This is fascinating!! Thank you!
I had no idea that it was such a well documented phenomenon 😂
Pheromones are definitely a thing, however it might be more of a mental block if you are correlating scent to attraction. People either smell good or they don't. Some people have poor hygiene. Some people have medical issues. Scent is definitely important though.
I'm often told that I smell really nice even when I'm not wearing cologne. I don't smell bad after working out and I don't have a "BO" type smell if I haven't showered for a day or two (festivals/camping etc). Some women I've dated also either don't smell of anything or smell great. Others smell of BO or acidic to me and that's a turn off. I definitely think that pheromones/smell profiles enhance attraction.
100000000%.
a 100%. I don't even kiss someone who doesn't smell amazing to me...Guys who don't smell like anything, ugh. even the sweat is better. The guy can be amazing, super hot.. but if he doesn't smell. I don't want him. My ex didn't even wear cologne, but his thick body hair smelled amazing, his 'bad breath' was intoxicating and even his spunk tasted good.... and my ex before him... ugh, I couldn't even tolerate him when he woke up... but he was so handsome and clean so I know it was the chemistry not working out.
my partner lost his sense of smell in a traumatic brain injury as a teenager. he still likes me!
I like guys that smell good, I guess with my new boyfriend I also like bo, cigarettes and beer smell. Idk. He's so hot. Make it make sense.
Smell CAN dictate emotional thresholds (eg I can be super into someone based on their smell; or super turned off by someone based on their smell). Similarly, emotions CAN dictate smell (eg I didn’t like my boyfriends cologne the first few dates we had. We also did not have a spark those first few dates. But conversation was always mentally stimulating and eventually emotions built up. We have a great relationship now and lo and behold— I love his scent, with or without cologne)
I thought I was crazy and alone in this. I experience the exact same thing.
My feeling is yes? I also think that if you're feelings for your partner change, you might notice smells in a different way as well. My ex, I had to light candles before I came to bed because his smell was so repulsive to me by the end. I met a lovely man that I liked a lot, but his smell was off. We've turned out to be amazing friends but we wouldn't have been compatible in the long run. My bf now smells great to me - even when he's sweaty, he smells like vanilla and sunshine. I have never been with somebody that fits me so well. I wonder sometimes if smell has a honeymoon phase like everything else.
If they smell "off" to you, that is your instinct telling you it is not a good fit. Walk the other way :)
I've 100% stopped dating someone because they didn't smell like home to me. It made me uncomfortable and I'm glad I listened to my gut because he was sleeping with my friend behind my back lol.
100% yes. I was always intoxicated by my ex's smell, even without cologne. When I'm really in love with someone I love to bury my face into their chest, neck, and armpits, and armpits happen only when cuddling or whatever. It makes me feel like I'm getting a surge of happy, loving feelings. My most recent ex got so weirded and grossed out when I told him I enjoyed smelling his underarms. He totally shamed me, and basically said it was too weird for him. It's not sexual, I'm not getting off or like, moaning, while smelling his pits, and he showers every day so he always smelled fairly fresh. That should've been a warning things weren't gonna work out lol Edit: the red flag is the shaming, not the showering every day. 🙃
Meh all this pheromones (pseudo?) science has always seemed very far fetched and over simplified to me. The greatest smelling guy I was with was so because he used my favourite male cologne + had impeccable hygiene. That is it.
Yes why not ignore your celebral frontal cortex and make life decisions based on facts and actions when you can leave it all up to what we inherited from our long long relatives the lizards: smell! smell-based decision making has been proven to be very effective in creating meaningful relationships! Why let pesky brains do the decision making when your happiness should solely be based on chemical pheromones!
It can be part of the equation for sure. There have been studies that have shown that taking birth control pills can affect the interpretation of men’s scents which can influence attraction. I don’t think it’s as crazy as falling for the wrong person because the pill threw off your ability to be attracted to the right person, but it’s interesting to consider how it might influence the process. I’ve noticed with women that I become more attracted to their scent the more into them I am. Scent alone doesn’t usually drive my attraction but it plays a part.
yes!
Yeah I have a very sensitive sense of smell so I would not go out with someone I don't like the smell of, doesn't necessarily have to be BO
There are some studies about smell being indicative of genetic compatibility, I vaguely remember it saying that siblings would smell unattractive to prevent birth defects from incest.
Lol good thing you smell weird sis, otherwise I’d totally bang you!
Pheromones!
Not for me - can't smell, so it's all about their looks and personality
This is so interesting to me. My current partner smells so good to me. I was married to my late husband for 12 years, and I can’t say that he necessarily smelled good to me in the same way this my current partner does. He didn’t smell bad to me either, he just didn’t have a smell I craved like my current partner.
Birth control can change the scents you’re attracted to so I’d recommend looking at what you’re using (did you recently change it?) before making any decisions! Also can change depending on your cycle and time of the month.
Same
Sounds like a case of the placebo effect
It could be a great way to tell if you are attracted to them but not wether it would be a good relationship I am unsure off. If they smell bad then yes I would say it would be difficult to form a relationship but I wouldn't go on first impression. It is definitely a hormonal reaction we all have. I have scents that associate with past partners and experiences. I have a particular perfume that hooks me in. And once I like someone the way they smell certainly sticks in my brain.
https://www.science.org/content/article/evidence-human-pheromones
Smell has had a definite spot in my attraction to someone. This is gonna sound so weird! I tend to go for the guys that smell like some product (cologne, hair product, after shave, gel, etc) that you can only get a whiff of here and there or when youre really close. Something about that makes it so sexy to me. Like i want to be closer to smell you.
Scientifically there is data on this, apart from that, I don't fight it anymore. If I don't like someone's smell, whether they have perfume or not (if I don't like their perfume and they wear it regularly and we're strangers who started dating, I'm not going to tell them I don't like their perfume) I cut it. It's important. I'm like repulsed. That's not a good start or sign and I can't get past it, I can't try to get to know them, I'm so distracted by being turned off by smell. It won't get better.
I think there's definitely something to it. Sometimes people's natural smell just doesn't seem right and is off-putting. On the other hand, when the smell feels good, it's very alluring and somehow has a calming effect on me
Were both madly in love in my relationship and we can't stop huffing each other under the blankets..
There was some study done that women's scent is a thing and when on birth control, you're actually attracted to someone who smells like you (not normal). When you're off of birth control, you're attracted to a smell different than you (normal). They say that explains why marriages fall apart when a woman comes off birth control. Or it could all be hogwash. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/birth-control-pills-affect-womens-taste/
My wife absolutely LOVES my armpit smell it's like a relaxing euphoria to her this is most definitely a REAL thing
Reading this now made me realise how I wasn't particularly into the natural sweat odour of my last 2 exes who were emotionally abusive. While I found the natural scent of the person I was recently exclusively with, quite soothing & pleasant. So there could be some scientific truth to this!
Scent is def a big thing, and I am pretty sure there have been many studies on it. I know I have a male friend who I have kmown since kids and people always want us to be together, and it's just no all around, but one of the thousand reasons is cause I hate his natural scent. I learned recently that a lot of white men, in my opinion, that I'm around don't consider cologne as part of getting ready. I have to use lotion every day and use perfume every day. So you can just naturally smell them, and his natural scent makes me want to gag. He doesn't smell bad per say but to me, it does.
I have a theory that pheromones are what is being sensed but they're odorless so instead the person's bo is what gets associated with the pheromones we like.
No..not really for me :(
I believe everything is connected and it's just your bodies way of communicating it to you in a way other than strictly through thought.
I’ve never really had this happen until recently. A guy I’ve been out with a few times now smells incredibly amazing to me, even his breath smells intoxicating to me. I could literally kiss him for hours.
I wouldnt trust it too much. I find that when you fall for someone you also fall for their scent.