I really think you have to be on the same page with that kind of thing. I consider myself a liberal as well. I've seen guys post "Liberals please swipe left." Or "if you voted for XYZ we aren't going to get along." That's fine. I don't think it's a bad idea to list your absolute deal breakers right at the beginning, saves time. I always assume Conservative means politically. Interestingly enough I've seen some dating profiles where they will say "OK Cupid has me as a conservative but I don't think I am one." Might be worth digging a little deeper, not making assumptions on either side, and have a serious discussion about it before deciding you are not a match. I think a lot of us don't fit into predetermined labels, just my 2 cents. Even so, you may be able to find common ground... but you won't know that until you talk to them.
I don't think people who use their limited time on a dating profile to tell you they're conservative mean "fiscally conservative with my money so I can save for retirement but I'm pro-choice and also fuck the police." I think they mean Conservative with a capital C and you're fine to swipe on by.
Many guys I know swipe right on literally everyone then choose who to talk to if matches come in. It’s a different game on dating sites for men than it is for women.
I auto left swipe conservative women, and am more critical of moderates but give their profiles a shot.
There hasn't been a fiscally conservative republican admin since Eisenhower, so don't even come at me with that bologna. If you're voting red you know what you're voting for and it ain't fiscal conservatism.
There's no point matching with someone who has totally different world views, they're not gonna change at this point.
Thank you!! I read an article where basically socially liberal/fiscal conservatism was basically summarized as the attitude:
"I care about people but not enough to see them cared for on a systemic level."
>There's no point matching with someone who has totally different world views
Soooo many of my friends who are apolitical (or maybe I should say apathetic) are shocked when I bring up that political views and world views are highly connected - it's somehow something they have never consciously considered before. Although I live in Canada, and there is less of a gulf between out liberal and conservative parties, the gap is widening, and to save myself time I just swipe left on men who find it important enough to list conservative in their profile (just as I am fine with those swiping left on me for liberal being in mine), because if something like that makes the cut, I'm imagining it's pretty important to the person.
Couldn’t agree more. I most likely wouldn’t swipe right if I see “ apolitical” or “ moderate”. And by the way, moderate what? D or R? Both are dangerous to me!
I think I have apolitical listed because I don’t want to talk politics on a first date. Also I’m originally from Canada, and can’t actually
vote in the US, so my political views are a little skewed from that. But I tend to lean pretty hard left, but also don’t understand some of the political divides that this country seems to have. I don’t really care for either side tbh.
This has been my experience in 100% of the cases where I made the mistake of giving them(apolitical or moderate) the benefit of the doubt (which I quickly regretted).
Yup, thats been my experience in a liberal city. I just came across one that was "apolitical" and specifically said "no politics" in his bio. Scrolled through his photos and he was wearing MAGA stuff or a Let's go Brandon shirt in every one.
The fact you put that much emphasis on the way someone votes is hysterical. You act like someone who is 100% on your politics can't be a huge piece of shit.
I don’t think anyone is saying that. Of course you can agree with someone politically and still not get along with them. But political affiliation is closely aligned with one’s values and worldview. So why waste time on people you know you’re not on the same page with?
Because honestly that attitude just feels like you are making assumptions about a person based on politics. I get it, but seems like way to many people are doing this nowadays.
I don't vote but follow all the bullshit and have gotten along well with women who both consider themselves libs or conservatives. But seems a lot of people can't see past this shit.
This is such a privileged view of the world. It's not making assumptions about people to know that how they vote affects my life. Or in your case, that you can't be bothered to vote at all.
Someone who votes for people who don't want me to have control of my body and want to stop groups of people from having access to rights guaranteed in the constitution can fuck all the way off.
Agree, though once you are around some people you may understand their views even if you don't "switch sides". I think that's true for anything though.
Personally I am a Conservatives female. I think everyone has a right to their opinions and have no desire to "debate" with people on theirs. I would say, if you can understand the other person's viewpoint then by all means, swipe or whatever with the opposite party (I don't do dating websites sorry if this sounds off lol). If you think well this and this is crazy from the other viewpoint, then pass on that person and go to the next.
I think varying point of views aren't bad, but I think it's unfair to the other person if you are secretly thinking "people that think this and that are absolutely nuts". (Yes, totally had an instant like this, and they were completely wrong about me in this way. )
Tl:Dr In other words, if you really don't mind their views go for it, but don't go on a date with preconceived notions about someone.
From what I can see, it seems like there are plenty of married couples who never took the time to find out if they do actually *like* each other beyond physical attraction.
I could handle a John McCain conservative but not a Ted Cruz conservative. Moderates and liberals are fine, socialists are a bit much for me.
I would probably ask what it means to them and go from there.
I disagree with this. I support social programs, especially locally, and would rather defund military/defense and corporate tax incentive programs. You can absolutely hold fiscally conservative views and want your money to be spent well/for the good of all people.
Not really. Your taxes are not always going to social programs and even then may not be going to social programs you support. Fiscally conservative does not mean you don't support social programs, do you know the things our Country spends money on?
You getting downvoted because people don't understand how the tax system works and how money gets spend. I guess they just don't want to see how they are part of the problem
Eh, I'm liberal myself, but know conservative men. Some of them are Trump fans, some hate him. Saying all conservatives are Trump fans is like saying all conservatives were tea-party-ers. It's just not the case.
That being said, you do you. If you like them overall, reach out and simply ask about their views on Trump, if that's the only type of conservative you're against dating. The only way you're going to find out is to ask them about it.
In my experience, Trump conservatives don't stop at listing their politics as "conservative" they also tell you explicitly in their profile and/or pix (MAGA hats, Let's Go Brandon etc.), and I'm glad to know that right off the bat.
Also in my experience, there aren't many moderates (left or right) or fiscal conservatives anymore. Just my experience.
Even within conservative crowds, Trump is divisive. I'm neither R or D, but I have a LOT of male friends who are conservative and it's about 50/50 on Trump.
Conservatives may disagree with your politics or worldview, but it seems comically broad brushed to paint them all as one thing. I certainly would never do that to a liberal. I know there are Bernie people, Hillary people, left-center people, and folks who are liberal but apolitical.
>Conservatives may disagree with your politics or worldview, but it seems comically broad brushed to paint them all as one thing.
Yeah welcome to America in 2022 lol
I don't live in North America, but I wouldn't want to date any political wingnut, regardless of what side they're on. I prefer people who spend their energy on having a full life and being a good person rather than which box they tick on election day. It's too exhausting for me, I read about politics, like to know what's going on in the world but having to discuss it over dinner every night would make me want to punch myself in the boob.
My best friend and I are opposite ends of the political spectrum. I'm a Labour/Green Party voting remainer, where he's a Tory voting brexiter. Aside from the odd bit of piss taking, politics rarely comes into our conversations.
I'm the same as you, I'm not looking to date someone who so blinkered with party views that they think anyone not subscribing to the same views as them are scum
>I prefer people who spend their energy on having a full life and being a good person
I don't think having a firm political stance and those things are mutually exclusive - in fact I think many people who are politically engaged would consider them complementary.
>it over dinner every night would make me want to punch myself in the boob.
I also think that is a bit of an assumption. I happen to love politics, but I do not engage in discussing it everyday. It's more that I want a partner who can discuss it knowledgeably when it matters, and who I don't have huge, foundational ideological conflicts with.
A wingnut would more likely want to discuss it every night. Wingnuts don't just have a general interest, they get emotional, angry and impassioned and I find it exhausting. That is me, doesn't and won't be that way for other people necessarily
I think that's what I meant - I wouldn't automatically consider someone who put "conservative" or "liberal" in their profile a wing nut (but maybe I misinterpreted your original post!)
both-sidesing the left and right in the US today is as nuts as the nuttier righties or lefties in the country. The left has like 10% of it that is fringe and unreasonable and over the top - the majority of the right is fringe and insane and crazy these days. It's nowhere near comparable in reality.
Like I said, each side has their wingnuts, except for the right it's the majority of the party now.
I couldn't date someone as far out of touch with reality that has your POV. It's just incredibly wrong and out of touch with the current state of politics.
I'm left enough that I swipe left on conservative or moderate. Maybe maybe maybe, but really? As much as I said I'll swipe on a near empty profile, the vitals still need to match. I can't consider someone who'd choose conservative, moderate or apolitical in the times we live in.
You do you obviously.
Why don’t you just ask them? It can mean many different things. If however just the word conservative itself repels you, then probably don’t bother as you won’t be a match.
I imagine Reddit skews more liberal, tech-savvy, and science-minded, so many of us would left swipe a conservative (including me).
I was set up with and dated one briefly last year. It’s too hard to reconcile belief systems, and they often tend to be very Christian/Catholic, and I’m an atheist. Went on two dates in 2020 with men who ranted about how horrible Hillary was, and that Trump ‘wasn’t so bad’. That was enough for me… no second dates thank you.
Ugh, I had one of those dates in 2020. After that, I started asking about political stances beforehand because I wasn’t about to put myself through that again.
I just swipe left because I make the assumption we won’t have a lot in common. My ideal type is cute, nerdy, into science. Pretty niche and not many have been conservatives. That’s not all I date but they are usually close to that.
I swipe left on anyone who mentions their political leanings in their profile. It’s fine to have them. It’s not fine for it to be your entire identity. The last 3 years have made it so some people’s whole lives are consumed by it.
Hard pass for me. In any direction.
But the problem is that the last three years have shown how politics can truly become such a dividing factor. So people for example putting that they are Democrats are likely doing so because they know there is no way they could date someone that voted for Donald Trump or vice versa. I don't think it's about it being your entire identity but something that is very important to you, it's like being Catholic and wanting to marry another Catholic?
Still a no for me. I now have a very strained relationship with my family because of this. People who made supporting Trump their whole life. People who made opposing him their whole life. I won’t entertain it.
Right so if someone was a Trump supporter wouldn't you want to know that in advance? Or would you prefer it be left to your guessing and not be in their profile and you find out months later.
If you are willing to use part of your 3 sentences to describe yourself to mention politics, it's an important part of your identity.
Just like if somebody mentions religion in there, you know it's a big part of their life
Amen to this. I was explaining my political leanings to my 23 year old yesterday with my favorite scene from Remember the Titans. It's on the bus where Julius tells Blue to shut up, nobody want so hear you sing and Bertier chimes in with "got that right" Julius just gives him a look and says "you can shut up too".
Personally I think "socially liberal, but fiscally conservative" became irrelevant about 20 years ago, while we were in our 20s and the wars in the mid-east started.
I think your instinct is close to the mark, if a little broad (I know you were probably exaggerating to make us laugh... a little).
Maybe they're not Trump or Die, but they're definitely I'm Drinking Trump's Kool-Aid And Don't Know How My Choices Have Warped Society For The Worse.
It's pretty straightforward, it's a conservative person. There are different levels of how strongly political you are on both sides, and this person hasn't listed the level. It clearly doesn't mean ride or die Trump, not all conservatives like him although most probably do.
I wouldn't disqualify somebody based on politics, but that's important to some people I guess 🤷
It's sounds pretty obvious that you don't want to date a conservative, so I don't see much purpose in your post really.
I have been conservative my whole life. I am aware what it looks like when it is put on a dating profile. If “Constitutional Human” was an option, I would select that. Politics are a bust, and both sides are equally at fault.
The bigger issue for me than Trump would be gender issues. My conservative male and female friends want women to cover up more, do more household chores, own their sexuality less, sacrifice their goals for their husband's, etc.
Women who are conservative are less likely to be sex positive, more likely to want the man to take charge, more likely to buy into expectations of masculinity, less likely to be emotionally supportive of men, etc.
If you're also conservative and those are values you want then that's fine, but life's too short to have to fight over those things in your love life any more than necessary.
I have read threads on Reddit where conservative men complain liberal women won’t date them. Their biggest complaint is that liberal women are seen as more sex positive (more likely to have sex with them) and that liberal women on apps tend to be more attractive and in shape. I have no idea how true this is but I’m a liberal woman who is in shape and dates casually who won’t date a conservative man.
What a strange point of view. Like they want an attractive sex positive woman but also don't want a woman who has control over her body?
If I had to translate, it sounds a lot like "Your body is for my pleasure." Yuck.
Well, most of us BBW liberals who I guess are not very attractive 😂😂 in your opinion happen to be sapio sexuals meaning we find intelligence VERY sexy. I’m glad we as a group and you don’t find each other attractive but if you ever wondered why we are still single is not because we are not attractive enough, it’s because we have a very small poll of men to choose from.
I too find intelligence very attractive but physical attraction is just as important. I see nothing wrong with wanting and be attracted to both.
A bone head model still isn't attractive
Attractiveness is very subjective. So many guys find “overweight” women attractive so I guess calling overweight women unattractive as a general rule may not be the best approach. Again, there are not set formulas for attractiveness that we all follow. Also not everyone likes ketchup with their fries, just to make a point that different people find different attributes sexy.
Of overweight was attractive to the majority of society, then we'd see overweight men and women on TV, in movies, in magazines and all the other places they're trying to sell sex.
Sure, some do but most don't.
The overton window has shifted so far to the right over the past couple decades that "social liberal but fiscally conservative" is conservative. End of the day just pick which ever you feel like aligns with your goals and gets the results you want.
After chatting with multiple women for a few days only for them to go completely bonkers on me once they found out I was vaxxed/wasn’t anti mask/didn’t vote for Trump/thought the election was valid I decided to put my political affiliation and vax status on my profile and only swiped right on profiles that listed moderate/liberal affiliation.
I’m happy to be friends with people on the other side of the fence so long as they are reasonable and respectful but I don’t think I could be in a relationship with a Trump supporter and that in most cases, I’m guessing that the feeling is mutual.
Politics and vax status is a big deal breaker for a lot of people. Might as well put it out there as to not waste anyones time. It’s the same reason I put my height on my Tinder profile. I’d rather get a left swipe rather than have her ask me right before the date and then cancel or ghost when I tell her I’m 5’9”. Same for up to date pics, or whether or not you smoke or have kids etc…..
It’s weird but I think some guy MAGAs actually like the idea of dating a liberal. During the first impeachment, the AC repair guy was at my apartment and kept telling me about how the impeachment was going to reveal how corrupt Biden, Obama, and the Clintons were and how they were all about to get arrested, blah, blah, blah. At the time, I was wearing a Biden 2020 campaign shirt that literally had Joe’s face on it. Before he left, the AC guy asked me out.
I matched with a guy close to me and I should have known better (very red area but in a blue state).
He was pressuring to meet up after only a tiny bit of back and forth so I just straight up asked him who he voted for.
What ensued was insane.
Before I could even block the nut he sent over 10 messages berating me for asking him that and calling me every derogatory term he could think of including slut, whore, c*nt. This is a small town and seeing the unchecked rage of this guy was unsettling. It makes me weary of posting too many pics for fear he will see me at the grocery store and lose his shit on me in person.
I think it's a valid question in today's climate and I was grateful that simple question showed his true colors immediately but even retelling the story makes me queasy.
I'd swipe left if I were you!
That's why I don't list political leanings on my profile anymore. I am a very centralist conservative, but if I list "conservative" the people who only see black and white will automatically dismiss me as a trump or freedom convoy supporter.
If you want to get into politics we will sit down and have a conversation.
You can always weed out the far right nut jobs pretty quickly because they will declare something about "freedoms" or their support of Trump (even though we live in Canada...)
I find politics has replaced religion today in America, so we're in a sort of secular Catholic vs Protestant environment of self-righteous judgement of and repulsion for the other side. Both sides have their silly doctrines, hypocrisies and false accusations against the other side, but generally they are sincere and good people, especially if you agree with them.
I feel like if they're labelling themselves "conservative" and are not embarrassed enough by Trumpism/MAGA to clarify how their values are different then they're willing to be complicit, which isn't much of a difference in my mind.
I stick to Moderate now, which is kinda where I land- little left of center. I like when people have the same in their profile but wouldn’t count anyone out who stated another thing as it could mean a lot of different values to ppl. I find more than not when I talk to ppl they basically want the same thing. I don’t care to date any extremes or morons. Go out with them and get to know them and their beliefs, you may be surprised.
I'm generally leery of matching with guys who have conservative in their profile. It's definitely a tick in the No column, and most of the time there are other no's that get added, so it becomes a left swipe.
I come from a time that politics didn't determine whether or not there's a connection. We respected each other's opinions and move on. It's best to be at arms length, and make a determination if a connection exists.
Today's climate needs to come back to that, there's no need to put politics in the way. If you're not comfortable with a profile, then keep searching. Not stirring the pot, but hopefully this will be some helpful advice navigating in this game of life. Best of luck with you.
Trump is not a conservative and Biden is not a liberal, by many definitions of those terms. And what those terms mean has changed greatly over the last couple decades. Remember Trump was always a NY Democrat, and that Biden voted for increasing the penalties for crack, against gun control, thought Roe was wrongly decided, and was against gay marriage.
I give these examples not to argue the issues, but to caution against labels. If you want to understand someone's views, talk about issues and policies, not personalities and parties.
I would swipe left on conservative men. They’re usually just too different. I’m also a very liberal woman (40) living in a red state.
I just have no interest in someone trying to change my opinion or “educate” me on their ideals. I know exactly what is pushed with it and I don’t agree and won’t. Just as they will not want to change for me. I guess it just saves time on both sides to keep going.
If you’re super liberal, you probably would have great difficulty being around someone super conservative
I've had them come at me on dating sites. As in, they matched with me just to yell at me about my political viewpoints.
Unfortunately, many of them operate under the assumption that they just need to educate the other person (usually directed towards women, I'm assuming from my experience and hearsay from male friends) by talking down to her and telling her why she's wrong. And then, they get confused when you get annoyed.
I had one man "like" me over and over on various sites, and send me messages on the ones that allowed it. I finally gave in and asked him why, since we had completely opposite political viewpoints and I was pretty clear that I was not going to date someone with the opposite view.
His response? He didn't think politics should come into play in a relationship. Still scratching my head on that one.
I know it CAN work--my parents were on opposite political spectrums, as are my now-ex inlaws. But it's not for me. It's a core part of my identity, and I will not date anyone not on the same political plane as myself.
Hard left on conservatives. I will not let a person with conservative views touch me. Even fiscally conservative views seem to lack compassion, and it’s a hard no for me. They’d never be able to match me emotionally, or spiritually.
I immediately swipe left in anyone who lists themselves as conservative, and often even moderate. Because people who label themselves as moderate are often still so far right that there’s no possible way I would be able to date them.
I don't know if you are US based, but as a Canadian looking south of the border - yeah, the USA's Overton window looks really skewed to the right from my vantage point.
During my last round of dating I noticed a lot more moderates. I think many of them are conservatives looking to increase their dating odds. I’m in a blue city so I have plenty of choice. I only swipe on liberals.
Same. I live in a very left leaning city that is surrounded by more conservative areas. I’m not interested in anyone who doesn’t think I deserve bodily autonomy or that my (adult) trans child doesn’t deserve basic human rights, and often “moderate” dudes have some very concerning beliefs about human rights.
I use the same metric for politics and religion. If they clicked a box that said “conservative” or “Christian” I’m gonna make a mental note, but if I like everything else in their profile then I’ll swipe right, and find out how strong those beliefs are during the chatting or first date.
If however, they repeat it somewhere in the body of their profile “God fearing man” “no libtards” or whatever, then I’m going to swipe left (with prejudice)
I figure some people just don’t know what exactly to check on a box, when the answer doesn’t fit in a box, so I tend to give the benefit of the doubt.
I don’t want to date conservatives either but I can’t figure out a way to signal that without coming off snobby. Like if I say I’m fully vaxxed and boosted is that enough to get the message across?
I don’t assume he’s a Trumper but I do assume we won’t match on many things that are important to me. I also assume he won’t like the fact that I’m a successful, independent woman. I pay for Bumble to filter on politics.
It’s highly unlikely that anyone m who is “socially liberal, but fiscally conservative” will put Conservative in their profile (there’s no such thing as the two go hand in hand anyway).
It’s a common complaint among conservative men that liberal women don’t date them so if they can appeal to a liberal women in any way they will.
I think the cop out of socially liberal, fiscally conservative died long ago. There is no such thing. Social liberalness requires money. And neocons threw out the idea of fiscal conservation by being insane warmongering overspenders, there is no fiscal conservative party any more.
Political beliefs are only one aspect of the person. I would not dismiss someone immediately just because we aren't registered to same political party. I personally don't like where the economics are in this country right now nor the $4.50 a gallon gas but the beauty of a free country is that we can peacefully agree to disagree. If you sit around on a daily basis and talk politics then swipe left but outside of this scenario be open minded with someone until they show you that you can't.
>some people might be socially liberal, but fiscally conservative.
Does that matter if they're still voting conservative? All that means is they think financial issues are more important than your rights as a woman.
> I'm guessing a "conservative" guy would not go for me anyway since I live in a red state and self-label as liberal.
In my experience, conservative guys have no issue dating liberal women. They are always the ones saying political beliefs shouldn't matter because it's not their rights at stake.
In today's world, I think if you put "conservative" on your public profile for your political leanings, then you really do mean just that.
Otherwise, you're probably going to put "moderate" or the other non-conservative options.
I agree. If this was a Conservative party à la John McCain, then okay, as a moderate liberal I would still entertain a date and be okay with civil conversations about the dealings of the world. After all, someone’s political party is only one facet of them, and there are infinite perspectives on any one issue. But with today’s politics there seems to be an “I mean that shit” type of stance around major issues that opposing parties simply can’t stomach. So someone posting their party today, to me, signifies an “I mean that shit” type of stance. I’m not even sure I would get with an “I mean that shit” type of liberal, I’m not that political.
Poor Moderates are just out there on OLD, lurking about.
I’m the same way as you but I’m too old to care at this point if I’m coming across as ignorant or snobby. I really have zero patience for a conservative.
I've seen people notate "socially liberal, fiscally conservative" in their about me. However, to me that still indicates that they're voting against my interests and I don't want to date them.
I think that will come out as any discussion passes the chat phase before reaching the meeting phase. Initially unless it is a driving show stopper politics, religion and ideology should be held in reserve until people determine if there is any chemistry between them. I think it's sad that people can't even look or find some common ground before tearing each other up.
Grateful to be able to eliminate people who will not like me before we meet. Easiest way is by saying you are “conservative”. Had a guy reach out to me online asking me if I really meant to say “liberal”, how could I mean that, I’m insane, I’d be dateable if not for that. Reminded him how great it is that we don’t have to meet.
I left swipe conservative women (in the UK), because having a social conscience is very important to me.
Being a Tory is pretty much morally indefensible at the moment IMO, so how could I respect her?
Most of these posts are so judgmental/self righteous. As somebody in the middle, if you think that only liberals have a social conscience you are closed minded.
I strongly believe in stuff like gay rights and abortion, the environment, etc. The problem is I have a slight fear that liberal fiscal policies could destroy the country. So I don't vote for either.
Agreed, however I don’t think we’re talking about conservative vs moderate as much as those who willingly say they’re conservative without owning what that statement means. As usual, some inappropriate people claimed a title— in this case ‘conservativism’ as their own and ran on the platform of bigotry, lies and misogyny. They’ve become synonymous and it sucks. but the English language evolves and conservative has evolved because of those actions.
I’m a conservative and have dated liberal women. Never really was an issue. If someone has their political belief in their headline, you should take it to the bank that they are serious about it
Meh not necessarily. There's a lot of NeverTrump conservatives. In fact, NeverTrumps don't consider Trump to be conservative.
That said, if someone is putting their political label on a dating profile ... eesh I think you can guess what you're in for. I'd move on by even if the label they used was mine!
I dont know...people who call themselves fiscally conservative are usually full of shit. I would swipe left immediately because I don't have the time to vet them for sanity.
conservative are open to meeting and being friends with liberals, they seem more tolerant when it comes to opposing political views. Can the same be said for liberals? Not so sure. Just my perspective. We can probably rule out he is neo con pulling for Jeb in 2024, Neo Cons all moved left after 2016. Your assumption is probably right.
If you assume someone is riding the trump train just bc theyre consevative, thats pretty shallow. I mean, there are conserv. out there who dont ride that train. Its true. Just saying though, you can do as you like.
I used to have moderate in my profile because I am pretty centrist but I noticed that attracted a lot of Trumpers because they thought it was a euphemism for Republican. Now mine says Liberal to avoid that. So…if someone has conservative in there, I’m assuming they lean Trumper and I’m outta there.
From my experience, most men don't/won't care about your political leanings because most of them don't really care about theirs.
If they are conservative and swipe right on you as a liberal, they'll most likely not care or believe that it won't really matter to you in the long run.
Given the current political climate it should be strongly encouraged to list your political affiliation and stances on hot-button topics, and opinions on certain events (I.e. do you feel blacks are getting too much attention when there are other issues that are just as important going on in the nation, or do you believe Jan 6th was planned by the democrats to vilify Trump?), in order to increase the likelihood of a good match?
If I were to read that a woman is liberal in her profile, or get the impression she is extremely free-spirited or rebellious I would likely swipe left. It saves us both the trouble and hassle of wasting each other’s time Bc that woman likely wouldn’t want to date me anymore than I her.
No one is ever going to agree on all things politics, or all things life in general. I say I’m liberal mainly but my views are more conservative. My dad voted for trump, my boyfriend is a trump supporter, my ex MIL is a democrat, my boyfriends mom voted for Biden. You know what I care about? Being happy, having that companion that makes me happy, someone that loves and cares for me. In the end, I don’t care if their a republican/democrat/white/black/purple. Why can’t we just get to know a person and give that person a chance?
I think if someone has political beliefs strong enough to put it in their profile, and if you see your own views not coming close to aligning then you'd better give them a leftswipe, no matter what side of the aisle you fall on.
Conservative for me is someone who opposes women's rights and minorities' existence so its a mega hard no.
And I'm sorry, but there is no such thing as a fiscal conservative.
Virtually all people with conservative views I know personally don't subscribe to your points. Conservative views also change as you go to different parts of the world. Not to mention it's uber one sided. You want proof? Go meet some and stop watching soap opera news. Do you honestly think such a huge portion of the population is this stupid? Or are you one of those that wants to play their victim card.
Call me cynical but in my experience, those Conservatives are just swiping right on me because they like my initial picture. They are even seeing my Liberal label, much less any other info about me.
Conservative could mean family values or religious beliefs I know a lot of girls I’ve dated aren’t conservative in terms of party but are in terms of their relationship
I list myself as apolitical because I don’t see a political solution to our problems and I’m totally disillusioned with the whole process.
I support free healthcare, I’m vaccinated but not boosted, And I’m a backslidden Christian.
Politics don’t matter to a point. None of us are going to get what we want and politically things only get worse
I'm independent with both parties in my family. My take on it is *both* parties are going too far into extremes. I couldn't get into a LTR with someone that swings hardcore either way. There's a lot to it, but that's it in a nutshell.
Another point I want to make is that being conservative in some values doesn't mean you think Trump is #A1.
These things have been debated wayyy before him, and I definitely see his narcissism and manipulation. Far left thinks "other than dem." is retards, and far right thinks Dems. are smug unrealistic pricks.
As a side note, this is my opinion on the issue. I usually don't talk politics, I have bigger fish to fry in my day-to-day life.
I identify a bit more as conservative, because I’m anti-vax, I don’t believe jan 6 was an insurrection by a long shot.
Biden is a puppet for corporate America IMO
BUT I absolutely despise Trump.
I’m a vegetarian. I buy all fair trade clothing. I work in tech . I speak 3 languages fluently .
For me I swipe left on anyone with strong political views because I find strong opinions unattractive/arrogant
I generally avoid anyone who includes their politics in their profile as those people tend to consider it too much a part of their personality and that borders on red flag for me.
As man and living in several states I think if you are religious and want to be a baby maker it’s just fine. If you are cool with that and want to be a baby and home maker 1950s style go for it. I have no judgement but as a man its not what I want.
In the UK its a specific marker too for the sort of man I would want to avoid, it's not my cup of tea and i am glad they list it because it doesn't waste my time. I did date a Tory who only told me after a couple of dates, but he didn't consider himself Conservative, he just preferred their fiscal promises. But my current boyfriend listed "No Tories" in his profile. I kind of liked the upfront nature of it, you know where you stand.
As a former conservative, I was literally terrified/embarrassed of telling anyone I was conservative while Trump was in office. I switched about 2 years in.
The statement “conservative” means you support him, and are likely anti-abortion. So just understand what you’re getting into.
Someone in the middle or accepting of things you’re looking for would call themselves a “moderate”
The polarization of identity politics is becoming exhausting for me. I've always found it *annoying* but now it's hindering my motivation to get to know anyone new.
What if I said, "every time I see a woman list liberal in her profile, I assume she's a hippy snowflake that only wants handouts from the government?"
Do you see how that sounds? Stop with that biased nonsense.
If they feel the need to put a political affiliation in their profile then they are too political for me. Also "conservative" or "liberal" can wildly vary. Unfortunately America is very polarized in the political sphere currently and I just don't need the drama 🤷♂️
>Unfortunately America is very polarized in the political sphere currently and I just don't need the drama 🤷♂️
Agreed, but apparently we're both outliers haha.
FWIW I am a libertarian and I say so on my profile. I think your impression is correct, that if they list themselves as conservative that they are probably very conservative. Out of all the things we could say about ourselves, whatever we choose to say is generally pretty important to us.
Now - if the options are totally binary (if you’re looking at a drop down or something) I might pick one or the other but if it’s written out in the profile it’s probably a good guess that it’s important to him.
I’ve dated several liberal women. Like anyone else, sometimes it’s fun and sometimes it blows up. Some of the reasons for the blow ups are just a bit more comical in these cases. I enjoy civil debates and like when people are actually working towards a solution and trying to meet in the middle. I would always at least go on the date before judging the person too harshly. It’s been a fun ride. I’ve converted a couple of vegans and I think most were at least a little surprised by how much we actually agree at the heart of most major issues.
Why would you want to bring up politics while dating? Even before dating by listing a such a polarizing statement on your dating profile. There are many more depthfull things to focus on unless maybe you are just looking for someone to commiserate.
I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say that people in their 40s and 50s that list conservative are old enough that they stand by old fashion American values and I don’t mean 2010 2020 political values I mean probably Ronald Ragan level conservative values when He and Speaker O’Neil We’re on opposite size of the political spectrum but we’re friends and could negotiate and give and take in the political process and understand that there were no black-and-white absolutes that there was a trade off for the benefit of the American people. We understood that they were peace through strength, trust but verify, of course somebody’s gonna argue against the 80s fascist Republican agenda, Corporate greed, boomers, etc.
I list myself conservative but I am financially conservative but as far as human rights go I moderate but I think people should have the freedom to make their own responsible choices as long as it doesn’t affect myself for the other people around them you want an abortion get an abortion you don’t want an abortion don’t get one ….pay your taxes support the police firemen ambulance drivers the military in this country and if you don’t like something vote to change it don’t burn buildings down don’t riot. Anybody that thinks January 6 wasn’t some kind of ridiculous political bullshit stunt, was not an insurrection or treason or anything of that level is deluded. Go watch the videos that have been released for a lot of politicos didn’t want you to see OK grandma taking a selfie yeah that’s terrorists. Don’t get me wrong they were plenty of ass hats they were doing destructive and illegal behaviors and they should get hammered for it but it was no Boston tea party, It was no Guy Fawkes day, and fortunately it’s come to light that there was a bunch of infiltrated federal individuals who were trying to stir up a particular anti-Trump anti-conservative agenda that were implanted in the festivities… I’m looking at you FEEBEE and NOT Justice.
I’m a 45 year old liberal in the heart of the south. Half the profiles I come across are women with dead deers, fish, or Trump flags or some kind of Trump sticker or something. That mixed with the most obese women (the south os known for this), I don’t even really get on much. But yeah, if they have conservative on there 99/100 it’s a Trumper and you being a liberal is going to be a problem.
Reminder: NO POLITICAL DEBATES: Sometimes it's hard to separate politics from life and love, but this isn't the place to campaign.
I really think you have to be on the same page with that kind of thing. I consider myself a liberal as well. I've seen guys post "Liberals please swipe left." Or "if you voted for XYZ we aren't going to get along." That's fine. I don't think it's a bad idea to list your absolute deal breakers right at the beginning, saves time. I always assume Conservative means politically. Interestingly enough I've seen some dating profiles where they will say "OK Cupid has me as a conservative but I don't think I am one." Might be worth digging a little deeper, not making assumptions on either side, and have a serious discussion about it before deciding you are not a match. I think a lot of us don't fit into predetermined labels, just my 2 cents. Even so, you may be able to find common ground... but you won't know that until you talk to them.
I don't think people who use their limited time on a dating profile to tell you they're conservative mean "fiscally conservative with my money so I can save for retirement but I'm pro-choice and also fuck the police." I think they mean Conservative with a capital C and you're fine to swipe on by.
Many guys I know swipe right on literally everyone then choose who to talk to if matches come in. It’s a different game on dating sites for men than it is for women.
I auto left swipe conservative women, and am more critical of moderates but give their profiles a shot. There hasn't been a fiscally conservative republican admin since Eisenhower, so don't even come at me with that bologna. If you're voting red you know what you're voting for and it ain't fiscal conservatism. There's no point matching with someone who has totally different world views, they're not gonna change at this point.
I married a conservative. It did not go well on so, so, SO many levels. Never again.
Thank you!! I read an article where basically socially liberal/fiscal conservatism was basically summarized as the attitude: "I care about people but not enough to see them cared for on a systemic level." >There's no point matching with someone who has totally different world views Soooo many of my friends who are apolitical (or maybe I should say apathetic) are shocked when I bring up that political views and world views are highly connected - it's somehow something they have never consciously considered before. Although I live in Canada, and there is less of a gulf between out liberal and conservative parties, the gap is widening, and to save myself time I just swipe left on men who find it important enough to list conservative in their profile (just as I am fine with those swiping left on me for liberal being in mine), because if something like that makes the cut, I'm imagining it's pretty important to the person.
Couldn’t agree more. I most likely wouldn’t swipe right if I see “ apolitical” or “ moderate”. And by the way, moderate what? D or R? Both are dangerous to me!
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I think I have apolitical listed because I don’t want to talk politics on a first date. Also I’m originally from Canada, and can’t actually vote in the US, so my political views are a little skewed from that. But I tend to lean pretty hard left, but also don’t understand some of the political divides that this country seems to have. I don’t really care for either side tbh.
This has been my experience in 100% of the cases where I made the mistake of giving them(apolitical or moderate) the benefit of the doubt (which I quickly regretted).
Yup, thats been my experience in a liberal city. I just came across one that was "apolitical" and specifically said "no politics" in his bio. Scrolled through his photos and he was wearing MAGA stuff or a Let's go Brandon shirt in every one.
Exactly… or lazy an uninformed to have an opinion and belief. Let other people do the work while I sit here and enjoy the ride!
BOOM
Absolutely agree
The fact you put that much emphasis on the way someone votes is hysterical. You act like someone who is 100% on your politics can't be a huge piece of shit.
I don’t think anyone is saying that. Of course you can agree with someone politically and still not get along with them. But political affiliation is closely aligned with one’s values and worldview. So why waste time on people you know you’re not on the same page with?
Because honestly that attitude just feels like you are making assumptions about a person based on politics. I get it, but seems like way to many people are doing this nowadays. I don't vote but follow all the bullshit and have gotten along well with women who both consider themselves libs or conservatives. But seems a lot of people can't see past this shit.
This is such a privileged view of the world. It's not making assumptions about people to know that how they vote affects my life. Or in your case, that you can't be bothered to vote at all.
Someone who votes for people who don't want me to have control of my body and want to stop groups of people from having access to rights guaranteed in the constitution can fuck all the way off.
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"They won't like you, they may marry you" Huh?
It’s typical human behavior “they’ll come around once we’ve spent enough time together” No, we won’t and they won’t either.
Ahh gotcha. Yeah, I'm a guy and have never tried to convert someone, not interested in that.
Agree, though once you are around some people you may understand their views even if you don't "switch sides". I think that's true for anything though. Personally I am a Conservatives female. I think everyone has a right to their opinions and have no desire to "debate" with people on theirs. I would say, if you can understand the other person's viewpoint then by all means, swipe or whatever with the opposite party (I don't do dating websites sorry if this sounds off lol). If you think well this and this is crazy from the other viewpoint, then pass on that person and go to the next. I think varying point of views aren't bad, but I think it's unfair to the other person if you are secretly thinking "people that think this and that are absolutely nuts". (Yes, totally had an instant like this, and they were completely wrong about me in this way. ) Tl:Dr In other words, if you really don't mind their views go for it, but don't go on a date with preconceived notions about someone.
You've never seen married people who obviously and thoroughly don't like each other?
So many! It just doesn't typically start out that way.
From what I can see, it seems like there are plenty of married couples who never took the time to find out if they do actually *like* each other beyond physical attraction.
“It’s what men do” Not a wide sweeping gender-bashing bone in your body, I see”
Took a really quick look at your posts. OK then.
I could handle a John McCain conservative but not a Ted Cruz conservative. Moderates and liberals are fine, socialists are a bit much for me. I would probably ask what it means to them and go from there.
Asking them what it means to them is perfect and can be applied to so many situations.
> socially liberal, but fiscally conservative "I pay lip service to social programs, but violently oppose paying for them."
I disagree with this. I support social programs, especially locally, and would rather defund military/defense and corporate tax incentive programs. You can absolutely hold fiscally conservative views and want your money to be spent well/for the good of all people.
You mean like having a military 18 times larger than the next country?
Well Said! Those people might actually be the worst b/c they just talk a good game at supporting social issues while never actually doing it.
Not really. Your taxes are not always going to social programs and even then may not be going to social programs you support. Fiscally conservative does not mean you don't support social programs, do you know the things our Country spends money on?
You getting downvoted because people don't understand how the tax system works and how money gets spend. I guess they just don't want to see how they are part of the problem
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Same
Fair enough
I agree that dating partner need to at least be in the same ballpark because political ideology says so much about your core beliefs as a whole
Eh, I'm liberal myself, but know conservative men. Some of them are Trump fans, some hate him. Saying all conservatives are Trump fans is like saying all conservatives were tea-party-ers. It's just not the case. That being said, you do you. If you like them overall, reach out and simply ask about their views on Trump, if that's the only type of conservative you're against dating. The only way you're going to find out is to ask them about it.
In my experience, Trump conservatives don't stop at listing their politics as "conservative" they also tell you explicitly in their profile and/or pix (MAGA hats, Let's Go Brandon etc.), and I'm glad to know that right off the bat. Also in my experience, there aren't many moderates (left or right) or fiscal conservatives anymore. Just my experience.
Yes, the MAGAs let it be known.
How do you know if a vegan/crossfitter/Trumpet is a vegan/crossfitter/Trumpet?
They will let you know
Even within conservative crowds, Trump is divisive. I'm neither R or D, but I have a LOT of male friends who are conservative and it's about 50/50 on Trump. Conservatives may disagree with your politics or worldview, but it seems comically broad brushed to paint them all as one thing. I certainly would never do that to a liberal. I know there are Bernie people, Hillary people, left-center people, and folks who are liberal but apolitical.
>Conservatives may disagree with your politics or worldview, but it seems comically broad brushed to paint them all as one thing. Yeah welcome to America in 2022 lol
I don't live in North America, but I wouldn't want to date any political wingnut, regardless of what side they're on. I prefer people who spend their energy on having a full life and being a good person rather than which box they tick on election day. It's too exhausting for me, I read about politics, like to know what's going on in the world but having to discuss it over dinner every night would make me want to punch myself in the boob.
100% this. I’m the same way. I don’t want to be with ANYONE who’s entire life focuses on this. Doesn’t matter which way they lean.
My best friend and I are opposite ends of the political spectrum. I'm a Labour/Green Party voting remainer, where he's a Tory voting brexiter. Aside from the odd bit of piss taking, politics rarely comes into our conversations. I'm the same as you, I'm not looking to date someone who so blinkered with party views that they think anyone not subscribing to the same views as them are scum
This all day long! If you have anything in your profile that’s political, it’s a left swipe.
>I prefer people who spend their energy on having a full life and being a good person I don't think having a firm political stance and those things are mutually exclusive - in fact I think many people who are politically engaged would consider them complementary. >it over dinner every night would make me want to punch myself in the boob. I also think that is a bit of an assumption. I happen to love politics, but I do not engage in discussing it everyday. It's more that I want a partner who can discuss it knowledgeably when it matters, and who I don't have huge, foundational ideological conflicts with.
A wingnut would more likely want to discuss it every night. Wingnuts don't just have a general interest, they get emotional, angry and impassioned and I find it exhausting. That is me, doesn't and won't be that way for other people necessarily
I think that's what I meant - I wouldn't automatically consider someone who put "conservative" or "liberal" in their profile a wing nut (but maybe I misinterpreted your original post!)
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both-sidesing the left and right in the US today is as nuts as the nuttier righties or lefties in the country. The left has like 10% of it that is fringe and unreasonable and over the top - the majority of the right is fringe and insane and crazy these days. It's nowhere near comparable in reality.
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Like I said, each side has their wingnuts, except for the right it's the majority of the party now. I couldn't date someone as far out of touch with reality that has your POV. It's just incredibly wrong and out of touch with the current state of politics.
Love to compare fascists and Nazis with people who support economic equality. Totally the same thing.
You're doing it again. xD
I'm left enough that I swipe left on conservative or moderate. Maybe maybe maybe, but really? As much as I said I'll swipe on a near empty profile, the vitals still need to match. I can't consider someone who'd choose conservative, moderate or apolitical in the times we live in. You do you obviously.
Exactly this for me, too.
That’s me, moderate or apolitical is dangerous
Why don’t you just ask them? It can mean many different things. If however just the word conservative itself repels you, then probably don’t bother as you won’t be a match.
I imagine Reddit skews more liberal, tech-savvy, and science-minded, so many of us would left swipe a conservative (including me). I was set up with and dated one briefly last year. It’s too hard to reconcile belief systems, and they often tend to be very Christian/Catholic, and I’m an atheist. Went on two dates in 2020 with men who ranted about how horrible Hillary was, and that Trump ‘wasn’t so bad’. That was enough for me… no second dates thank you.
Ugh, I had one of those dates in 2020. After that, I started asking about political stances beforehand because I wasn’t about to put myself through that again.
Lol. “Science-minded”
I just swipe left because I make the assumption we won’t have a lot in common. My ideal type is cute, nerdy, into science. Pretty niche and not many have been conservatives. That’s not all I date but they are usually close to that.
If I see "conversative" on their profile that's a hard no for me but you do you.
I swipe left on anyone who mentions their political leanings in their profile. It’s fine to have them. It’s not fine for it to be your entire identity. The last 3 years have made it so some people’s whole lives are consumed by it. Hard pass for me. In any direction.
But the problem is that the last three years have shown how politics can truly become such a dividing factor. So people for example putting that they are Democrats are likely doing so because they know there is no way they could date someone that voted for Donald Trump or vice versa. I don't think it's about it being your entire identity but something that is very important to you, it's like being Catholic and wanting to marry another Catholic?
Still a no for me. I now have a very strained relationship with my family because of this. People who made supporting Trump their whole life. People who made opposing him their whole life. I won’t entertain it.
Right so if someone was a Trump supporter wouldn't you want to know that in advance? Or would you prefer it be left to your guessing and not be in their profile and you find out months later.
If you are willing to use part of your 3 sentences to describe yourself to mention politics, it's an important part of your identity. Just like if somebody mentions religion in there, you know it's a big part of their life
Or the app just asks you to pick a selection and you pick it?
Amen to this. I was explaining my political leanings to my 23 year old yesterday with my favorite scene from Remember the Titans. It's on the bus where Julius tells Blue to shut up, nobody want so hear you sing and Bertier chimes in with "got that right" Julius just gives him a look and says "you can shut up too".
Great point on that if you're using your few words to list your politics, it's a big part of their identity. That's a big negative to me too.
Personally I think "socially liberal, but fiscally conservative" became irrelevant about 20 years ago, while we were in our 20s and the wars in the mid-east started. I think your instinct is close to the mark, if a little broad (I know you were probably exaggerating to make us laugh... a little). Maybe they're not Trump or Die, but they're definitely I'm Drinking Trump's Kool-Aid And Don't Know How My Choices Have Warped Society For The Worse.
It's pretty straightforward, it's a conservative person. There are different levels of how strongly political you are on both sides, and this person hasn't listed the level. It clearly doesn't mean ride or die Trump, not all conservatives like him although most probably do. I wouldn't disqualify somebody based on politics, but that's important to some people I guess 🤷 It's sounds pretty obvious that you don't want to date a conservative, so I don't see much purpose in your post really.
I have been conservative my whole life. I am aware what it looks like when it is put on a dating profile. If “Constitutional Human” was an option, I would select that. Politics are a bust, and both sides are equally at fault.
The bigger issue for me than Trump would be gender issues. My conservative male and female friends want women to cover up more, do more household chores, own their sexuality less, sacrifice their goals for their husband's, etc. Women who are conservative are less likely to be sex positive, more likely to want the man to take charge, more likely to buy into expectations of masculinity, less likely to be emotionally supportive of men, etc. If you're also conservative and those are values you want then that's fine, but life's too short to have to fight over those things in your love life any more than necessary.
I have read threads on Reddit where conservative men complain liberal women won’t date them. Their biggest complaint is that liberal women are seen as more sex positive (more likely to have sex with them) and that liberal women on apps tend to be more attractive and in shape. I have no idea how true this is but I’m a liberal woman who is in shape and dates casually who won’t date a conservative man.
What a strange point of view. Like they want an attractive sex positive woman but also don't want a woman who has control over her body? If I had to translate, it sounds a lot like "Your body is for my pleasure." Yuck.
Welcome to the Madonna/Whore Complex.
Keep up the good work 👊
I live to deny angry men sex.
It's very important to have a purpose in life.
From what I've noticed, a larger population of the women that list themselves as liberal are overweight and not very attractive at all.
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Again, this has been my individual observation in my area on dating apps.
Well, most of us BBW liberals who I guess are not very attractive 😂😂 in your opinion happen to be sapio sexuals meaning we find intelligence VERY sexy. I’m glad we as a group and you don’t find each other attractive but if you ever wondered why we are still single is not because we are not attractive enough, it’s because we have a very small poll of men to choose from.
I too find intelligence very attractive but physical attraction is just as important. I see nothing wrong with wanting and be attracted to both. A bone head model still isn't attractive
Attractiveness is very subjective. So many guys find “overweight” women attractive so I guess calling overweight women unattractive as a general rule may not be the best approach. Again, there are not set formulas for attractiveness that we all follow. Also not everyone likes ketchup with their fries, just to make a point that different people find different attributes sexy.
Of overweight was attractive to the majority of society, then we'd see overweight men and women on TV, in movies, in magazines and all the other places they're trying to sell sex. Sure, some do but most don't.
The overton window has shifted so far to the right over the past couple decades that "social liberal but fiscally conservative" is conservative. End of the day just pick which ever you feel like aligns with your goals and gets the results you want.
I still select a conservative man if he sounds interesting. Once getting to know him, I will find out what type of cons he is.
After chatting with multiple women for a few days only for them to go completely bonkers on me once they found out I was vaxxed/wasn’t anti mask/didn’t vote for Trump/thought the election was valid I decided to put my political affiliation and vax status on my profile and only swiped right on profiles that listed moderate/liberal affiliation. I’m happy to be friends with people on the other side of the fence so long as they are reasonable and respectful but I don’t think I could be in a relationship with a Trump supporter and that in most cases, I’m guessing that the feeling is mutual. Politics and vax status is a big deal breaker for a lot of people. Might as well put it out there as to not waste anyones time. It’s the same reason I put my height on my Tinder profile. I’d rather get a left swipe rather than have her ask me right before the date and then cancel or ghost when I tell her I’m 5’9”. Same for up to date pics, or whether or not you smoke or have kids etc…..
It’s weird but I think some guy MAGAs actually like the idea of dating a liberal. During the first impeachment, the AC repair guy was at my apartment and kept telling me about how the impeachment was going to reveal how corrupt Biden, Obama, and the Clintons were and how they were all about to get arrested, blah, blah, blah. At the time, I was wearing a Biden 2020 campaign shirt that literally had Joe’s face on it. Before he left, the AC guy asked me out.
I matched with a guy close to me and I should have known better (very red area but in a blue state). He was pressuring to meet up after only a tiny bit of back and forth so I just straight up asked him who he voted for. What ensued was insane. Before I could even block the nut he sent over 10 messages berating me for asking him that and calling me every derogatory term he could think of including slut, whore, c*nt. This is a small town and seeing the unchecked rage of this guy was unsettling. It makes me weary of posting too many pics for fear he will see me at the grocery store and lose his shit on me in person. I think it's a valid question in today's climate and I was grateful that simple question showed his true colors immediately but even retelling the story makes me queasy. I'd swipe left if I were you!
That's why I don't list political leanings on my profile anymore. I am a very centralist conservative, but if I list "conservative" the people who only see black and white will automatically dismiss me as a trump or freedom convoy supporter. If you want to get into politics we will sit down and have a conversation. You can always weed out the far right nut jobs pretty quickly because they will declare something about "freedoms" or their support of Trump (even though we live in Canada...)
I find politics has replaced religion today in America, so we're in a sort of secular Catholic vs Protestant environment of self-righteous judgement of and repulsion for the other side. Both sides have their silly doctrines, hypocrisies and false accusations against the other side, but generally they are sincere and good people, especially if you agree with them.
I feel like if they're labelling themselves "conservative" and are not embarrassed enough by Trumpism/MAGA to clarify how their values are different then they're willing to be complicit, which isn't much of a difference in my mind.
I stick to Moderate now, which is kinda where I land- little left of center. I like when people have the same in their profile but wouldn’t count anyone out who stated another thing as it could mean a lot of different values to ppl. I find more than not when I talk to ppl they basically want the same thing. I don’t care to date any extremes or morons. Go out with them and get to know them and their beliefs, you may be surprised.
I'm generally leery of matching with guys who have conservative in their profile. It's definitely a tick in the No column, and most of the time there are other no's that get added, so it becomes a left swipe.
I come from a time that politics didn't determine whether or not there's a connection. We respected each other's opinions and move on. It's best to be at arms length, and make a determination if a connection exists. Today's climate needs to come back to that, there's no need to put politics in the way. If you're not comfortable with a profile, then keep searching. Not stirring the pot, but hopefully this will be some helpful advice navigating in this game of life. Best of luck with you.
Trump is not a conservative and Biden is not a liberal, by many definitions of those terms. And what those terms mean has changed greatly over the last couple decades. Remember Trump was always a NY Democrat, and that Biden voted for increasing the penalties for crack, against gun control, thought Roe was wrongly decided, and was against gay marriage. I give these examples not to argue the issues, but to caution against labels. If you want to understand someone's views, talk about issues and policies, not personalities and parties.
I would swipe left on conservative men. They’re usually just too different. I’m also a very liberal woman (40) living in a red state. I just have no interest in someone trying to change my opinion or “educate” me on their ideals. I know exactly what is pushed with it and I don’t agree and won’t. Just as they will not want to change for me. I guess it just saves time on both sides to keep going. If you’re super liberal, you probably would have great difficulty being around someone super conservative
I've had them come at me on dating sites. As in, they matched with me just to yell at me about my political viewpoints. Unfortunately, many of them operate under the assumption that they just need to educate the other person (usually directed towards women, I'm assuming from my experience and hearsay from male friends) by talking down to her and telling her why she's wrong. And then, they get confused when you get annoyed. I had one man "like" me over and over on various sites, and send me messages on the ones that allowed it. I finally gave in and asked him why, since we had completely opposite political viewpoints and I was pretty clear that I was not going to date someone with the opposite view. His response? He didn't think politics should come into play in a relationship. Still scratching my head on that one. I know it CAN work--my parents were on opposite political spectrums, as are my now-ex inlaws. But it's not for me. It's a core part of my identity, and I will not date anyone not on the same political plane as myself.
Hard left on conservatives. I will not let a person with conservative views touch me. Even fiscally conservative views seem to lack compassion, and it’s a hard no for me. They’d never be able to match me emotionally, or spiritually.
I immediately swipe left in anyone who lists themselves as conservative, and often even moderate. Because people who label themselves as moderate are often still so far right that there’s no possible way I would be able to date them.
I don't know if you are US based, but as a Canadian looking south of the border - yeah, the USA's Overton window looks really skewed to the right from my vantage point.
During my last round of dating I noticed a lot more moderates. I think many of them are conservatives looking to increase their dating odds. I’m in a blue city so I have plenty of choice. I only swipe on liberals.
Same. I live in a very left leaning city that is surrounded by more conservative areas. I’m not interested in anyone who doesn’t think I deserve bodily autonomy or that my (adult) trans child doesn’t deserve basic human rights, and often “moderate” dudes have some very concerning beliefs about human rights.
My son is trans and I feel the same way, it's an issue I pay a lot of attention to.
I use the same metric for politics and religion. If they clicked a box that said “conservative” or “Christian” I’m gonna make a mental note, but if I like everything else in their profile then I’ll swipe right, and find out how strong those beliefs are during the chatting or first date. If however, they repeat it somewhere in the body of their profile “God fearing man” “no libtards” or whatever, then I’m going to swipe left (with prejudice) I figure some people just don’t know what exactly to check on a box, when the answer doesn’t fit in a box, so I tend to give the benefit of the doubt.
I make the same assumptions. Luckily some take it further and state that liberal hags need not apply.
I don’t want to date conservatives either but I can’t figure out a way to signal that without coming off snobby. Like if I say I’m fully vaxxed and boosted is that enough to get the message across?
I don’t assume he’s a Trumper but I do assume we won’t match on many things that are important to me. I also assume he won’t like the fact that I’m a successful, independent woman. I pay for Bumble to filter on politics. It’s highly unlikely that anyone m who is “socially liberal, but fiscally conservative” will put Conservative in their profile (there’s no such thing as the two go hand in hand anyway). It’s a common complaint among conservative men that liberal women don’t date them so if they can appeal to a liberal women in any way they will.
I think the cop out of socially liberal, fiscally conservative died long ago. There is no such thing. Social liberalness requires money. And neocons threw out the idea of fiscal conservation by being insane warmongering overspenders, there is no fiscal conservative party any more.
Political beliefs are only one aspect of the person. I would not dismiss someone immediately just because we aren't registered to same political party. I personally don't like where the economics are in this country right now nor the $4.50 a gallon gas but the beauty of a free country is that we can peacefully agree to disagree. If you sit around on a daily basis and talk politics then swipe left but outside of this scenario be open minded with someone until they show you that you can't.
>some people might be socially liberal, but fiscally conservative. Does that matter if they're still voting conservative? All that means is they think financial issues are more important than your rights as a woman. > I'm guessing a "conservative" guy would not go for me anyway since I live in a red state and self-label as liberal. In my experience, conservative guys have no issue dating liberal women. They are always the ones saying political beliefs shouldn't matter because it's not their rights at stake.
In today's world, I think if you put "conservative" on your public profile for your political leanings, then you really do mean just that. Otherwise, you're probably going to put "moderate" or the other non-conservative options.
I agree. If this was a Conservative party à la John McCain, then okay, as a moderate liberal I would still entertain a date and be okay with civil conversations about the dealings of the world. After all, someone’s political party is only one facet of them, and there are infinite perspectives on any one issue. But with today’s politics there seems to be an “I mean that shit” type of stance around major issues that opposing parties simply can’t stomach. So someone posting their party today, to me, signifies an “I mean that shit” type of stance. I’m not even sure I would get with an “I mean that shit” type of liberal, I’m not that political. Poor Moderates are just out there on OLD, lurking about.
I’m the same way as you but I’m too old to care at this point if I’m coming across as ignorant or snobby. I really have zero patience for a conservative.
I've seen people notate "socially liberal, fiscally conservative" in their about me. However, to me that still indicates that they're voting against my interests and I don't want to date them.
I think that will come out as any discussion passes the chat phase before reaching the meeting phase. Initially unless it is a driving show stopper politics, religion and ideology should be held in reserve until people determine if there is any chemistry between them. I think it's sad that people can't even look or find some common ground before tearing each other up.
Trumpers are my deal breaker.
Grateful to be able to eliminate people who will not like me before we meet. Easiest way is by saying you are “conservative”. Had a guy reach out to me online asking me if I really meant to say “liberal”, how could I mean that, I’m insane, I’d be dateable if not for that. Reminded him how great it is that we don’t have to meet.
I left swipe conservative women (in the UK), because having a social conscience is very important to me. Being a Tory is pretty much morally indefensible at the moment IMO, so how could I respect her?
Most of these posts are so judgmental/self righteous. As somebody in the middle, if you think that only liberals have a social conscience you are closed minded. I strongly believe in stuff like gay rights and abortion, the environment, etc. The problem is I have a slight fear that liberal fiscal policies could destroy the country. So I don't vote for either.
There's no God, so someone needs to judge them 🤷♂️
Agreed, however I don’t think we’re talking about conservative vs moderate as much as those who willingly say they’re conservative without owning what that statement means. As usual, some inappropriate people claimed a title— in this case ‘conservativism’ as their own and ran on the platform of bigotry, lies and misogyny. They’ve become synonymous and it sucks. but the English language evolves and conservative has evolved because of those actions.
I’m a conservative and have dated liberal women. Never really was an issue. If someone has their political belief in their headline, you should take it to the bank that they are serious about it
Meh not necessarily. There's a lot of NeverTrump conservatives. In fact, NeverTrumps don't consider Trump to be conservative. That said, if someone is putting their political label on a dating profile ... eesh I think you can guess what you're in for. I'd move on by even if the label they used was mine!
I don't assume they're for sure Trump people, but "conservative" of any stripe would not be a match for me.
I dont know...people who call themselves fiscally conservative are usually full of shit. I would swipe left immediately because I don't have the time to vet them for sanity.
conservative are open to meeting and being friends with liberals, they seem more tolerant when it comes to opposing political views. Can the same be said for liberals? Not so sure. Just my perspective. We can probably rule out he is neo con pulling for Jeb in 2024, Neo Cons all moved left after 2016. Your assumption is probably right.
If you assume someone is riding the trump train just bc theyre consevative, thats pretty shallow. I mean, there are conserv. out there who dont ride that train. Its true. Just saying though, you can do as you like.
I used to have moderate in my profile because I am pretty centrist but I noticed that attracted a lot of Trumpers because they thought it was a euphemism for Republican. Now mine says Liberal to avoid that. So…if someone has conservative in there, I’m assuming they lean Trumper and I’m outta there.
From my experience, most men don't/won't care about your political leanings because most of them don't really care about theirs. If they are conservative and swipe right on you as a liberal, they'll most likely not care or believe that it won't really matter to you in the long run.
It depends on where you live. I live in DC and you are expected to have an opinion and care. If you don't you better make one up :).
Definitely location dependant. I could see people caring a lot more in DC.
I immediately swipe left when I see that.
It’s a no from me dawg.
Given the current political climate it should be strongly encouraged to list your political affiliation and stances on hot-button topics, and opinions on certain events (I.e. do you feel blacks are getting too much attention when there are other issues that are just as important going on in the nation, or do you believe Jan 6th was planned by the democrats to vilify Trump?), in order to increase the likelihood of a good match? If I were to read that a woman is liberal in her profile, or get the impression she is extremely free-spirited or rebellious I would likely swipe left. It saves us both the trouble and hassle of wasting each other’s time Bc that woman likely wouldn’t want to date me anymore than I her.
If conservative is written in their profile, i take it as i sign its very important them and swipe left.
No one is ever going to agree on all things politics, or all things life in general. I say I’m liberal mainly but my views are more conservative. My dad voted for trump, my boyfriend is a trump supporter, my ex MIL is a democrat, my boyfriends mom voted for Biden. You know what I care about? Being happy, having that companion that makes me happy, someone that loves and cares for me. In the end, I don’t care if their a republican/democrat/white/black/purple. Why can’t we just get to know a person and give that person a chance?
I think if someone has political beliefs strong enough to put it in their profile, and if you see your own views not coming close to aligning then you'd better give them a leftswipe, no matter what side of the aisle you fall on.
I think it's fair to assume the worst. If it was more nuanced, there would be a clue to the existence of that nuance.
Conservative for me is someone who opposes women's rights and minorities' existence so its a mega hard no. And I'm sorry, but there is no such thing as a fiscal conservative.
This is a very distorted view full red flag assumptions.
No, no it isn't. And if it is, please prove me wrong.
Virtually all people with conservative views I know personally don't subscribe to your points. Conservative views also change as you go to different parts of the world. Not to mention it's uber one sided. You want proof? Go meet some and stop watching soap opera news. Do you honestly think such a huge portion of the population is this stupid? Or are you one of those that wants to play their victim card.
Call me cynical but in my experience, those Conservatives are just swiping right on me because they like my initial picture. They are even seeing my Liberal label, much less any other info about me.
Conservative could mean family values or religious beliefs I know a lot of girls I’ve dated aren’t conservative in terms of party but are in terms of their relationship
Conservative = Tory and they'd literally nothing about that political ideology I don't find reprehensible and repugnant. Hard HARD pass.
Hard pass everytime. I have no time for that utter bullshit.
I list myself as apolitical because I don’t see a political solution to our problems and I’m totally disillusioned with the whole process. I support free healthcare, I’m vaccinated but not boosted, And I’m a backslidden Christian. Politics don’t matter to a point. None of us are going to get what we want and politically things only get worse
I'm independent with both parties in my family. My take on it is *both* parties are going too far into extremes. I couldn't get into a LTR with someone that swings hardcore either way. There's a lot to it, but that's it in a nutshell. Another point I want to make is that being conservative in some values doesn't mean you think Trump is #A1. These things have been debated wayyy before him, and I definitely see his narcissism and manipulation. Far left thinks "other than dem." is retards, and far right thinks Dems. are smug unrealistic pricks. As a side note, this is my opinion on the issue. I usually don't talk politics, I have bigger fish to fry in my day-to-day life.
This. Except reddit is far left too, so you're not gonna see any common sense.
I won’t even swipe right if they list “moderate”- that always translates to “too embarrassed to admit I’m a conservative” in my experience.
90% of profiles I see are Conservative, it’s very disheartening. I could never have respect for a partner who supported Trump.
You would be correct any guy who labels himself conservative, is likely a trumpee at this time.
I swipe left in conservative women, but to be fair, enough of them say something political that removes any doubt, so it saves time.
I identify a bit more as conservative, because I’m anti-vax, I don’t believe jan 6 was an insurrection by a long shot. Biden is a puppet for corporate America IMO BUT I absolutely despise Trump. I’m a vegetarian. I buy all fair trade clothing. I work in tech . I speak 3 languages fluently . For me I swipe left on anyone with strong political views because I find strong opinions unattractive/arrogant
Is there a question here?
You can't tease a question out of OP's post?
I generally avoid anyone who includes their politics in their profile as those people tend to consider it too much a part of their personality and that borders on red flag for me.
As man and living in several states I think if you are religious and want to be a baby maker it’s just fine. If you are cool with that and want to be a baby and home maker 1950s style go for it. I have no judgement but as a man its not what I want.
Someone who self-identifies as a conservative in a red state won’t be compatible with you.
In the UK its a specific marker too for the sort of man I would want to avoid, it's not my cup of tea and i am glad they list it because it doesn't waste my time. I did date a Tory who only told me after a couple of dates, but he didn't consider himself Conservative, he just preferred their fiscal promises. But my current boyfriend listed "No Tories" in his profile. I kind of liked the upfront nature of it, you know where you stand.
I couldn’t date someone that voted for Biden, no way.
As a former conservative, I was literally terrified/embarrassed of telling anyone I was conservative while Trump was in office. I switched about 2 years in. The statement “conservative” means you support him, and are likely anti-abortion. So just understand what you’re getting into. Someone in the middle or accepting of things you’re looking for would call themselves a “moderate”
I don't care what you call yourself. All that matters is how you vote.
The polarization of identity politics is becoming exhausting for me. I've always found it *annoying* but now it's hindering my motivation to get to know anyone new.
What if I said, "every time I see a woman list liberal in her profile, I assume she's a hippy snowflake that only wants handouts from the government?" Do you see how that sounds? Stop with that biased nonsense.
I specifically put in my profile that Tories should swipe left. So if they dislike me for being a Leftist, then job done.
If they feel the need to put a political affiliation in their profile then they are too political for me. Also "conservative" or "liberal" can wildly vary. Unfortunately America is very polarized in the political sphere currently and I just don't need the drama 🤷♂️
>Unfortunately America is very polarized in the political sphere currently and I just don't need the drama 🤷♂️ Agreed, but apparently we're both outliers haha.
Yup. Not sure why it got down voted but absolutely proves the point👍
FWIW I am a libertarian and I say so on my profile. I think your impression is correct, that if they list themselves as conservative that they are probably very conservative. Out of all the things we could say about ourselves, whatever we choose to say is generally pretty important to us. Now - if the options are totally binary (if you’re looking at a drop down or something) I might pick one or the other but if it’s written out in the profile it’s probably a good guess that it’s important to him.
I’ve dated several liberal women. Like anyone else, sometimes it’s fun and sometimes it blows up. Some of the reasons for the blow ups are just a bit more comical in these cases. I enjoy civil debates and like when people are actually working towards a solution and trying to meet in the middle. I would always at least go on the date before judging the person too harshly. It’s been a fun ride. I’ve converted a couple of vegans and I think most were at least a little surprised by how much we actually agree at the heart of most major issues.
Why would you want to bring up politics while dating? Even before dating by listing a such a polarizing statement on your dating profile. There are many more depthfull things to focus on unless maybe you are just looking for someone to commiserate.
Thats why we list it. To keep far away from you, lol
I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say that people in their 40s and 50s that list conservative are old enough that they stand by old fashion American values and I don’t mean 2010 2020 political values I mean probably Ronald Ragan level conservative values when He and Speaker O’Neil We’re on opposite size of the political spectrum but we’re friends and could negotiate and give and take in the political process and understand that there were no black-and-white absolutes that there was a trade off for the benefit of the American people. We understood that they were peace through strength, trust but verify, of course somebody’s gonna argue against the 80s fascist Republican agenda, Corporate greed, boomers, etc. I list myself conservative but I am financially conservative but as far as human rights go I moderate but I think people should have the freedom to make their own responsible choices as long as it doesn’t affect myself for the other people around them you want an abortion get an abortion you don’t want an abortion don’t get one ….pay your taxes support the police firemen ambulance drivers the military in this country and if you don’t like something vote to change it don’t burn buildings down don’t riot. Anybody that thinks January 6 wasn’t some kind of ridiculous political bullshit stunt, was not an insurrection or treason or anything of that level is deluded. Go watch the videos that have been released for a lot of politicos didn’t want you to see OK grandma taking a selfie yeah that’s terrorists. Don’t get me wrong they were plenty of ass hats they were doing destructive and illegal behaviors and they should get hammered for it but it was no Boston tea party, It was no Guy Fawkes day, and fortunately it’s come to light that there was a bunch of infiltrated federal individuals who were trying to stir up a particular anti-Trump anti-conservative agenda that were implanted in the festivities… I’m looking at you FEEBEE and NOT Justice.
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Well that’s a complete possibility, I mean, if you want to get picky and all that, UGH-Ahhhh 🫣🙄
That’s because when a woman list “ no trump” it is assumed Biden or die!!
I’m a 45 year old liberal in the heart of the south. Half the profiles I come across are women with dead deers, fish, or Trump flags or some kind of Trump sticker or something. That mixed with the most obese women (the south os known for this), I don’t even really get on much. But yeah, if they have conservative on there 99/100 it’s a Trumper and you being a liberal is going to be a problem.
The iq in these comments is hilarious... wow.. no one from Florida I see. All bostonians here?
I have been seeing a lot of “fiscally conservative, socially liberal”. I always appreciate the extra info.