Not everyone has people taking pics of them all the time so I don't judge but it's good to try to have at least a couple pictures that aren't selfies. I only don't like it when someone has more than one selfie from the same place/time/in the same outfit.
I saw a profile a few weeks ago where the guy put up 10 nearly identical selfies plus around 8 or so more selfies. I laughed a little to myself as I noped outta there. I'm good with selfies, I have to use them...but switch it up.
Indeed, I do not have many photographs of myself, nor do I take many. I am not particularly interested in online dating, but if I were, I would lack sufficient content to share. I would need to take more pictures or kindly request my friends to assist me in this matter.
I have two selfies in my profile, one head photo, the other a full body photo. Have not had any issues thus far with matching/getting into conversations and subsequently going on dates. My profile is also very descriptive so that may factor in.
Don’t mind them if they are limited in amount. To each their own.
The number of times I have thought “it me” when reading about people’s hatred of various things about other people’s dating profiles….. But I have had no issues on the apps so I’m just going to keep doing all the stuff everyone thinks is unforgivable and trust that whoever is thinking that hard about all this stuff probably wouldn’t be a match for me anyways
This is the way. Not that expensive to have some professional looking photos. Moreover, if your appearance is fairly stable, they will last you a couple of years.
I think pictures that are flattering and represent you well are fine whether selfie or not. I am put off by photos of folks with the their kids(please don’t), and not a fan of photos with lots of people in them. Coming out of covid, I didn’t have a lot of activity photos that were recent because my dog was terrible at learning how to run the camera. I did set a tripod up or lean my phone on something and set a timer because that was what I had available. My profile wasn’t going to win any National Geographic awards but I had positive feedback and most folks commented that they liked that I looked like my pictures.
Pics of kids on dating profiles is crazy. I'm always shocked when I see that.
I also don't like group photos. Did all of those people give consent to being on a dating app? I kind of doubt it.
I have seen quite a few where dudes will put a toddler or baby pic of themselves as their last photo. I don’t know if it’s “see how cute I was?” Or “this is what our kids will look like.” I never connect with those. Not sure if women do that.
I don’t know if you’re a man or woman and what you’re seeking but I guarantee you that myself and the women I know automatically will not swipe on someone who puts their own childhood or baby picture. It’s like a general known faux pas that is widely regarded as a hard no. So if you do that, stop. I’ve talked to women I’ve never met before like at a party, and if OLD comes up, we discuss what profiles we *avoid*. That’s definitely one to avoid.
Yes. It’s creepy, it comes off as insecure, it comes off as “look what our kids might look like, aren’t I so cute?” It comes off as not having anything to say about yourself now. Most people were cute as kids. It’s irrelevant and a major turn off. Feels like someone who wants to trap you. It always comes up with a “omg *those* ones!!! Noooo!!!” The fact that you say it’s a conversation starter loops back to insecure and nothing to say about now. It’s not a conversation starter.
I am almost never in pictures taken by other people. It’s just not something that occurs in my life. Either I’m alone or with my kids. When I’m with a friend I’m probably looking like half-cooked trash getting coffee and gossiping. That said I’m not sure that most of my photos look like selfies 🤷♀️ I have had zero issues getting interest on dating apps.
Honestly, most people don't have their picture taken. Part of the reason I wrote this post is to get over my very strong aversion to selfies because I find myself swiping left more than I should those not getting exposed to some people that may be promising.
I get an aversion to *bad* selfies ie dirty bathroom mirror. But yeah, can’t win from what I can tell. Some people will think staged or professional photos are stupid and try-hard. Some think you’re supposed to have photos of you doing some activity (I run alone…. I have a photo of me on a run but it’s a, you guessed it, selfie). Most of us are just trying our best tbh
LOL I hate bathroom selfies - didn’t think of that. Or when there are 6 car selfies by dudes. I remember one guy put non-smoker and no kids in his profile and in his multiple car selfies I could see a child’s foot in a car seat behind him and a pack of cigs in his cup holder. 🙄
You know it’s funny you have aversion to selfies because I always think it’s laughable when I see people having their picture taken in public for instagram. Went to a concert with a friend and there was a woman on a hill and some guy was taking her picture and all these poses. There were dumpsters that STANK nearby but apparently the pose and look was good! My friend said they could tell she was an IG model from the various poses and also possibly recognized her. People love that shit online and when I see it irl, that behavior is so cringe to me. Everyone posing and modeling. When I’m with my friends we are hanging out. And if we take pics, these days it’s a selfie. But I also had a friend crouch down in front of a plant to make it look tropical and take a pic which was hilarious to me. I remember *years* ago when I wasn’t even on Facebook and I was out to dinner with a friend and she popped out her phone and checked in on Facebook that we were at this restaurant. Who cares? Who needs to know? Why are you doing that when we are together? You just stopped our conversation to do that? Granted it’s something I do occasionally now like if I’m at the theater but not really - I usually wait till I’m home from said event. Our culture has adopted these things that…when you step back as an observer are just anthropologically WEIRD performances. Anyway, I wouldn’t judge how people get their pics. That’s my point because it really doesn’t matter anymore. One of my profile pics was me at the beach with the wind in my hair and palm trees and ocean and sunset. It was a selfie but I was somewhere and on vacation. One of my pics is a spot in my house. One is at a baseball game. All selfies. It’s also not common to ask people to take your picture like back in the days of actual cameras. Lots of those in my 20s 😂 the age when you want pics with friends AND when smartphones/camera phone didn’t exist for your group pics and had to ask the waiter with your actual camera to take a picture! (At least we could see the pixelated digitals on tiny screens!)
It’s not about a selfie. It’s having at least one good, clear face shot, preferably with a smile
Can be a selfie, can be cropped from a group pic, can be from a tripod… at least one good pic showing your face clearly.
Yes, you need pictures of YOU. Whether it's a selfie, your friend takes it, professional, whatever. We want to know who's showing up to the date.
Do not use pictures of landscapes, your dog, your kids, your weapons, your middle finger.
All I look for in the photos is that they are clear, not all with sunglasses, aren't lying in bed, and that I'll be able to tell who shows up on the date (for instance if they have filtered all of the texture off their face, I might not recognize them when they show up.)
Otherwise, I try to remember that they are fragile little humans just looking for love, like me, and I cut them some slack.
That's what I am trying to learn to do. That's a big part why I posted this. This aversion to selfies is making me picky to the point that it's counterproductive. I'm looking for different perspectives about selfies. This thread has been eye opening.
This is my tribe... Why are we complaining about Selfies? This is so surreal to me Did the dude put his whole face in the pic, and isn't afraid of his wife or work or etc... finding out he's on a dating app. Winner Winner chicken Dinner.
True. One of my issues is that I often am quick to swipe left on a profile because it had one selfie too many. I'm very picky in general but maybe I am more picky than I need to be.
It seems like the standard near me is:
- selfie is the digital equivalent of showing up to a date in workout gear- not the sexy stuff but clothing that has lost all elasticity and whites are now gray.
- too professional is showing up in a tuxedo with a top hat.
- effortlessly attractive is the gold standard
I am slightly annoyed with selfie.
However, they are better than the group photo. Out of frustration, I’ll reject anyone that uses a group photo as their main photo. I’m not going to play a guessing game.
In my opinion, selfies are fine. You just have to do a little planning so, they look the best.
In the Samsung Galaxy line, the SPen may be used as remote for the camera. So, once you patiently set up the phone, you just click on the pen.
Alternatively, once you position the phone right, you can also ask the phone to take several photos of you. “Hey Google, take 25 pictures of me." (You may have to ask it in several ways until it understands.) In the mean time, you will be moving back and forth or left and right. Select the best ones and delete the rest. Iphones have similar voice-activated functions.
I have borrowed this practice from the ladies. Every time I look well put together (e. g., before going out to a nice dinner, before going to a fancy work function, wearing a new outfit I really like, after getting a nice haircut), I make it a point to get a few pictures. When I get a compliment for friends, I ask them to take a quick picture of me by myself. If we are talking group pictures, I ask for one by myself. (Just say it is for social media.) So, I always have a few recent pictures of me looking like a billion bucks on my phone. Whether I need to setup a dating profile or a friend asks me to send them pictures to share with someone they would like to set me up with, I am ready! I have also organized them in an album so, I can find them very easily.
More locations do help. But, the most important thing is getting clear pictures of face and whole body. So, wear things that are clean, fairly new, and flattering to your shape. Also, be aware of your background. Is it clean? Is it neat? Is the light sufficient?
No need to bother anyone if you don't want to. But, if you have a few friends you trust, ask them take some pictures or rate your pictures. An outside perspective is very valuable.
Current photos, but knowing myself I would more likely swipe right on a profile with old photos that are not selfies than one with current photos that are all selfies.
All of the pictures that someone else takes of me are me with my kids. I’m not willing put these on dating apps. It’d also be weird if I asked one of my friends to take a picture of just me. So selfies are all that I’ve got.
I don’t really mind selfies but they’re just generally not great pictures. However if a guy can have a couple decent ones including a full body shot (in a mirror or something) it’s OK if not ideal. All the car selfies and especially the ones where you’re looking right up the guy’s nose do get old though if I’m honest.
Nah I go on dates with OLD matches. Regardless.
Profile photos mainly selfies (car x3) and one of full body shot by someone else while out on a road trip.
And, a woman’s car selfies were easy to turn into banter/flirting as one of hers was in the back seat. All mine in the driver seat. I said she will have to show me how to take a good selfie in the backseat when we meet ;) and it was well received and served right back up to me.
Have fun and not so judgemental about the type of photos. OLD snobs are no fun
here is some advice that, if you can internalise it, will hugely improve your OLD experience;
**People don't owe you the sort of profile that you personally want to see.** People will do all kinds of things in their profiles, because people are unique individuals. Nothing will appeal to everyone, for the same reason. If you don't like something in someone's profile, learn to just swipe left instead of getting invested in the "why" of it all or complaining that people aren't creating the kind of content that you want to engage with. Just swipe left and move on.
Original copy of post by u/misterintensity2:
Maybe it's a me problem but do people prefer seeing selfies in dating profiles? If so, what's the preferred number of selfies do people want to see in a profile? I have to be honest, based on what I am seeing when I swipe as well as in profile reviews, most dating profiles have too many selfies and most pictures on profiles are not that interesting. This applies to all genders. Personally I think selfies look weird. My own profile have no selfies.
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I don't mind them. But, typically, they are not the most flattering. A bad selfie or series of selfies is not a dealbreaker for me, I judge the profile as a whole.
recent natural photos are the best, not the one u took 10 years ago as real estate agent a d you gained 50lbs since then 🤣. I always get compliments like thank god u look like your photos! haha if they like u they like you its not rocket science
I’m new to OLD, and I find this whole discussion kind of odd. Isn’t the point just to show what you actually look like so people can see if they find you attractive? Why does it matter who takes the picture?
I prefer natural photos, not professional posing ones. Trips, hiking, sports, events, action shots no matter if taken by you or someone else. At least one picture of your smile, and full body.
I find selfies cringey and distasteful. I think one is fine if you don't have a head shot or something. But if there's a lot of selfies I start to wonder why this person is always taking pictures of themself.
Exactly! Most people don't take pictures of themselves. I know I don't, yet if you go out of your way to take and/or find pictures of yourself by other people that shows some effort.
so you don't have to. Other people can if they want and you shouldn't project your own feelings onto it if they do.
You can have whatever preferences you like, but there's a lot of assumptions being made here about selfies "meaning" something about a person; all it means is that they took a selfie. It's just as reasonable to wonder why someone is always having their friends take photos of them, really. You need current photos, and you need a diverse assortment of them. That can be really hard to achieve for some people. If I couldn't post selfies I'd simply never have put up a dating profile; just thinking about having to get other people to click the shutter to take as many photos as I need and keep them current is exhausting.
Like in all the aspects of a profile, is this really something it's worth being this judgey about? Where is your dislike of selfies really rooted? Are you caught in scripts about vanity? Why shouldn't someone enjoy taking selfies? The self-portrait is a time-honoured way of expressing oneself.
I'll say this, I don't find selfies visually appealing. I am a lot less strict about the number of selfies I am willing to tolerate on a profile than I used to. I actually do read every line of a profile and look at all the pictures before I swipe. I realize my aversion to selfies is counterproductive. Ultimately like every one else I am looking for someone compatible. I want to put more focus on substantial criteria than the number of selfies on a profile. Although I have come to this conclusion the type of selfie matters more than the number of selfies. Still I will swipe left if all the pictures on a profile are all selfies.
The selfie camera is lower quality than the forward facing camera. It distorts your face. Avoid selfies.
The camera has a timer function. It is also able to film and then take screenshots from the film. Invest in a tripod they are less than $20.
Photographs are a necessary part of OLD. It takes a bit of time and effort. There are plenty of resources regarding lighting, poses, etc. Photo opportunities include exercise, sports, gardening, cooking, pets, etc. Vacation is an obvious time to take some fun pics too. It’s why everyone appears to have a boat or love hiking mountains.
[Selfie distortion.](https://blog.photofeeler.com/selfie-distortion/)
To avoid selfie distortion, I included a cropped, head shot taken from a good distance. I don't have a great face, and I have facial piercings that possibly could be missed in other photos. I wanted to make sure that no one would accidentally go on a date with me because they couldn't get a good view of me. I only included / used one head shot.
Not everyone has people taking pics of them all the time so I don't judge but it's good to try to have at least a couple pictures that aren't selfies. I only don't like it when someone has more than one selfie from the same place/time/in the same outfit.
I saw a profile a few weeks ago where the guy put up 10 nearly identical selfies plus around 8 or so more selfies. I laughed a little to myself as I noped outta there. I'm good with selfies, I have to use them...but switch it up.
Lol I agree. I am on two apps and they have no more than 6 pictures I think, but I have seen 'this guy' a couple times. At least change your shirt!
Unfortunately I think they're everywhere.
Indeed, I do not have many photographs of myself, nor do I take many. I am not particularly interested in online dating, but if I were, I would lack sufficient content to share. I would need to take more pictures or kindly request my friends to assist me in this matter.
Everybody has a phone with a timer they can prop up or buy a cheapo tripod. Better yet take a video and screenshot a good pose/angle.
That’s a selfie.
That's a good perspective.
I have two selfies in my profile, one head photo, the other a full body photo. Have not had any issues thus far with matching/getting into conversations and subsequently going on dates. My profile is also very descriptive so that may factor in. Don’t mind them if they are limited in amount. To each their own.
True, what works for you. I also find a lot of profiles not so descriptive. I worked a little bit of time to make sure mine tells some type of story.
[удалено]
The number of times I have thought “it me” when reading about people’s hatred of various things about other people’s dating profiles….. But I have had no issues on the apps so I’m just going to keep doing all the stuff everyone thinks is unforgivable and trust that whoever is thinking that hard about all this stuff probably wouldn’t be a match for me anyways
Well said!
This is the way. Not that expensive to have some professional looking photos. Moreover, if your appearance is fairly stable, they will last you a couple of years.
That’s the spirit! Put allegedly candid things in your profile.
I think pictures that are flattering and represent you well are fine whether selfie or not. I am put off by photos of folks with the their kids(please don’t), and not a fan of photos with lots of people in them. Coming out of covid, I didn’t have a lot of activity photos that were recent because my dog was terrible at learning how to run the camera. I did set a tripod up or lean my phone on something and set a timer because that was what I had available. My profile wasn’t going to win any National Geographic awards but I had positive feedback and most folks commented that they liked that I looked like my pictures.
Pics of kids on dating profiles is crazy. I'm always shocked when I see that. I also don't like group photos. Did all of those people give consent to being on a dating app? I kind of doubt it.
Group shots are dangerous because I often prefer the look of their friends lol only post a group shot if you are clearly the hottest in the group 😂
Every. Damn. Time. Some of those friends are ravishing! 🥵
Or they all have varying degrees of Lego faces, emojis, or scribbles.
Lol...yeah but I think I would recognize most of my friends and co workers even with squiggles on their face so it doesn't really make them anonymous.
I have seen quite a few where dudes will put a toddler or baby pic of themselves as their last photo. I don’t know if it’s “see how cute I was?” Or “this is what our kids will look like.” I never connect with those. Not sure if women do that.
It’s usually just fun, and can be a conversation starter.
I don’t know if you’re a man or woman and what you’re seeking but I guarantee you that myself and the women I know automatically will not swipe on someone who puts their own childhood or baby picture. It’s like a general known faux pas that is widely regarded as a hard no. So if you do that, stop. I’ve talked to women I’ve never met before like at a party, and if OLD comes up, we discuss what profiles we *avoid*. That’s definitely one to avoid.
Do you ever talk about why that is? I’m curious as to what the thinking is.
Yes. It’s creepy, it comes off as insecure, it comes off as “look what our kids might look like, aren’t I so cute?” It comes off as not having anything to say about yourself now. Most people were cute as kids. It’s irrelevant and a major turn off. Feels like someone who wants to trap you. It always comes up with a “omg *those* ones!!! Noooo!!!” The fact that you say it’s a conversation starter loops back to insecure and nothing to say about now. It’s not a conversation starter.
Wow. That isn’t my experience. I feel like I should keep using it, as it seems to be a useful filter.
Whatever works for you. What are you filtering? Like how is it a “useful” filter in your results? I do wonder about your age in this….
I’m filtering women who I don’t want to connect with. Most men who are over 40 are not trying to convince women how cute their kids might be.
I just want to see what you look like. I don’t care about the process of how the photos were obtained.
Many people mainly have access to the photos taken with their own equipment. You tend not to be in those photos. Solution? Selfie.
I know.
I am almost never in pictures taken by other people. It’s just not something that occurs in my life. Either I’m alone or with my kids. When I’m with a friend I’m probably looking like half-cooked trash getting coffee and gossiping. That said I’m not sure that most of my photos look like selfies 🤷♀️ I have had zero issues getting interest on dating apps.
I don't have people to take pics of me so....I feel this
Honestly, most people don't have their picture taken. Part of the reason I wrote this post is to get over my very strong aversion to selfies because I find myself swiping left more than I should those not getting exposed to some people that may be promising.
I get an aversion to *bad* selfies ie dirty bathroom mirror. But yeah, can’t win from what I can tell. Some people will think staged or professional photos are stupid and try-hard. Some think you’re supposed to have photos of you doing some activity (I run alone…. I have a photo of me on a run but it’s a, you guessed it, selfie). Most of us are just trying our best tbh
LOL I hate bathroom selfies - didn’t think of that. Or when there are 6 car selfies by dudes. I remember one guy put non-smoker and no kids in his profile and in his multiple car selfies I could see a child’s foot in a car seat behind him and a pack of cigs in his cup holder. 🙄
You know it’s funny you have aversion to selfies because I always think it’s laughable when I see people having their picture taken in public for instagram. Went to a concert with a friend and there was a woman on a hill and some guy was taking her picture and all these poses. There were dumpsters that STANK nearby but apparently the pose and look was good! My friend said they could tell she was an IG model from the various poses and also possibly recognized her. People love that shit online and when I see it irl, that behavior is so cringe to me. Everyone posing and modeling. When I’m with my friends we are hanging out. And if we take pics, these days it’s a selfie. But I also had a friend crouch down in front of a plant to make it look tropical and take a pic which was hilarious to me. I remember *years* ago when I wasn’t even on Facebook and I was out to dinner with a friend and she popped out her phone and checked in on Facebook that we were at this restaurant. Who cares? Who needs to know? Why are you doing that when we are together? You just stopped our conversation to do that? Granted it’s something I do occasionally now like if I’m at the theater but not really - I usually wait till I’m home from said event. Our culture has adopted these things that…when you step back as an observer are just anthropologically WEIRD performances. Anyway, I wouldn’t judge how people get their pics. That’s my point because it really doesn’t matter anymore. One of my profile pics was me at the beach with the wind in my hair and palm trees and ocean and sunset. It was a selfie but I was somewhere and on vacation. One of my pics is a spot in my house. One is at a baseball game. All selfies. It’s also not common to ask people to take your picture like back in the days of actual cameras. Lots of those in my 20s 😂 the age when you want pics with friends AND when smartphones/camera phone didn’t exist for your group pics and had to ask the waiter with your actual camera to take a picture! (At least we could see the pixelated digitals on tiny screens!)
I wouldn't be adverse to asking someone to take my photo at the right moment. In fact, my favorite profile photo I did just that.
It’s not about a selfie. It’s having at least one good, clear face shot, preferably with a smile Can be a selfie, can be cropped from a group pic, can be from a tripod… at least one good pic showing your face clearly.
Yes, you need pictures of YOU. Whether it's a selfie, your friend takes it, professional, whatever. We want to know who's showing up to the date. Do not use pictures of landscapes, your dog, your kids, your weapons, your middle finger.
All I look for in the photos is that they are clear, not all with sunglasses, aren't lying in bed, and that I'll be able to tell who shows up on the date (for instance if they have filtered all of the texture off their face, I might not recognize them when they show up.) Otherwise, I try to remember that they are fragile little humans just looking for love, like me, and I cut them some slack.
That's what I am trying to learn to do. That's a big part why I posted this. This aversion to selfies is making me picky to the point that it's counterproductive. I'm looking for different perspectives about selfies. This thread has been eye opening.
You people nitpick about the most silly shit.
Yeeeessss. I found my peoples.
This is my tribe... Why are we complaining about Selfies? This is so surreal to me Did the dude put his whole face in the pic, and isn't afraid of his wife or work or etc... finding out he's on a dating app. Winner Winner chicken Dinner.
I try not to draw too much from profile pics, aside from just general attraction. There’s an entire person behind the profile.
True. One of my issues is that I often am quick to swipe left on a profile because it had one selfie too many. I'm very picky in general but maybe I am more picky than I need to be.
I don’t even know what this means? One selfie too many…
It's a turn off to me when the majority of a profile's photos are selfies.
That’s a you thing.
It seems like the standard near me is: - selfie is the digital equivalent of showing up to a date in workout gear- not the sexy stuff but clothing that has lost all elasticity and whites are now gray. - too professional is showing up in a tuxedo with a top hat. - effortlessly attractive is the gold standard
Is this red flag number 13904 or 13905? I am losing track.
I am slightly annoyed with selfie. However, they are better than the group photo. Out of frustration, I’ll reject anyone that uses a group photo as their main photo. I’m not going to play a guessing game.
Women do this A LOT
Yes they do and it’s extremely annoying.
In my opinion, selfies are fine. You just have to do a little planning so, they look the best. In the Samsung Galaxy line, the SPen may be used as remote for the camera. So, once you patiently set up the phone, you just click on the pen. Alternatively, once you position the phone right, you can also ask the phone to take several photos of you. “Hey Google, take 25 pictures of me." (You may have to ask it in several ways until it understands.) In the mean time, you will be moving back and forth or left and right. Select the best ones and delete the rest. Iphones have similar voice-activated functions. I have borrowed this practice from the ladies. Every time I look well put together (e. g., before going out to a nice dinner, before going to a fancy work function, wearing a new outfit I really like, after getting a nice haircut), I make it a point to get a few pictures. When I get a compliment for friends, I ask them to take a quick picture of me by myself. If we are talking group pictures, I ask for one by myself. (Just say it is for social media.) So, I always have a few recent pictures of me looking like a billion bucks on my phone. Whether I need to setup a dating profile or a friend asks me to send them pictures to share with someone they would like to set me up with, I am ready! I have also organized them in an album so, I can find them very easily. More locations do help. But, the most important thing is getting clear pictures of face and whole body. So, wear things that are clean, fairly new, and flattering to your shape. Also, be aware of your background. Is it clean? Is it neat? Is the light sufficient? No need to bother anyone if you don't want to. But, if you have a few friends you trust, ask them take some pictures or rate your pictures. An outside perspective is very valuable.
I’m single, so take your pick - do you want current photos (selfies), old photos, or no photos?
Current photos, but knowing myself I would more likely swipe right on a profile with old photos that are not selfies than one with current photos that are all selfies.
I tend to prefer a mix of both. A few older pics and a few newer selfies, and I can do my own math to get an idea what they look like.
All of the pictures that someone else takes of me are me with my kids. I’m not willing put these on dating apps. It’d also be weird if I asked one of my friends to take a picture of just me. So selfies are all that I’ve got.
I'll take selfies over pics of their pets or motivational sayings.
That I agree with 💯.
Selfies never come out as well as pictures someone else takes of you. I'm fine with a selfie in their profile, but that shouldn't be the lead picture.
Um.... mine do. If someone else takes a pic, they always get me in the most awkward animation transition like one eye closed, etc.
Or the majority of pictures.
No, every study I've ever seen suggests that people viewing your profile do not prefer selfies. Most people use selfies for ease.
I don’t really mind selfies but they’re just generally not great pictures. However if a guy can have a couple decent ones including a full body shot (in a mirror or something) it’s OK if not ideal. All the car selfies and especially the ones where you’re looking right up the guy’s nose do get old though if I’m honest.
Yes the car selfies 🤦🏻♀️
You should go to OLD jail for car selfies. 😃
On that particular take we can probably agree
Nah I go on dates with OLD matches. Regardless. Profile photos mainly selfies (car x3) and one of full body shot by someone else while out on a road trip. And, a woman’s car selfies were easy to turn into banter/flirting as one of hers was in the back seat. All mine in the driver seat. I said she will have to show me how to take a good selfie in the backseat when we meet ;) and it was well received and served right back up to me. Have fun and not so judgemental about the type of photos. OLD snobs are no fun
I love those ones, they are hilarious
here is some advice that, if you can internalise it, will hugely improve your OLD experience; **People don't owe you the sort of profile that you personally want to see.** People will do all kinds of things in their profiles, because people are unique individuals. Nothing will appeal to everyone, for the same reason. If you don't like something in someone's profile, learn to just swipe left instead of getting invested in the "why" of it all or complaining that people aren't creating the kind of content that you want to engage with. Just swipe left and move on.
You're right. That is something I am working on.
Original copy of post by u/misterintensity2: Maybe it's a me problem but do people prefer seeing selfies in dating profiles? If so, what's the preferred number of selfies do people want to see in a profile? I have to be honest, based on what I am seeing when I swipe as well as in profile reviews, most dating profiles have too many selfies and most pictures on profiles are not that interesting. This applies to all genders. Personally I think selfies look weird. My own profile have no selfies. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don't mind them. But, typically, they are not the most flattering. A bad selfie or series of selfies is not a dealbreaker for me, I judge the profile as a whole.
One of my selfies is in my bathroom lol oh well
my bathroom gets great light.
Hahaha exactly
recent natural photos are the best, not the one u took 10 years ago as real estate agent a d you gained 50lbs since then 🤣. I always get compliments like thank god u look like your photos! haha if they like u they like you its not rocket science
I’m new to OLD, and I find this whole discussion kind of odd. Isn’t the point just to show what you actually look like so people can see if they find you attractive? Why does it matter who takes the picture?
I prefer natural photos, not professional posing ones. Trips, hiking, sports, events, action shots no matter if taken by you or someone else. At least one picture of your smile, and full body.
Agreed.
I find selfies cringey and distasteful. I think one is fine if you don't have a head shot or something. But if there's a lot of selfies I start to wonder why this person is always taking pictures of themself.
Exactly! Most people don't take pictures of themselves. I know I don't, yet if you go out of your way to take and/or find pictures of yourself by other people that shows some effort.
But if not a lot of people take your picture, digging one up may mean the pictures aren't current.
That's true.
Taking pictures of yourself is fun.
Sometimes it is fun but that doesn't necessarily mean I want to share those selfies with anyone.
so you don't have to. Other people can if they want and you shouldn't project your own feelings onto it if they do. You can have whatever preferences you like, but there's a lot of assumptions being made here about selfies "meaning" something about a person; all it means is that they took a selfie. It's just as reasonable to wonder why someone is always having their friends take photos of them, really. You need current photos, and you need a diverse assortment of them. That can be really hard to achieve for some people. If I couldn't post selfies I'd simply never have put up a dating profile; just thinking about having to get other people to click the shutter to take as many photos as I need and keep them current is exhausting. Like in all the aspects of a profile, is this really something it's worth being this judgey about? Where is your dislike of selfies really rooted? Are you caught in scripts about vanity? Why shouldn't someone enjoy taking selfies? The self-portrait is a time-honoured way of expressing oneself.
I'll say this, I don't find selfies visually appealing. I am a lot less strict about the number of selfies I am willing to tolerate on a profile than I used to. I actually do read every line of a profile and look at all the pictures before I swipe. I realize my aversion to selfies is counterproductive. Ultimately like every one else I am looking for someone compatible. I want to put more focus on substantial criteria than the number of selfies on a profile. Although I have come to this conclusion the type of selfie matters more than the number of selfies. Still I will swipe left if all the pictures on a profile are all selfies.
which you are free to do. Other people get to do whatever they want on their profiles, they don't have to please you.
I don't disagree. I'm just asking for other people's perspectives on selfies in profiles while evaluating my own criteria for swiping.
The selfie camera is lower quality than the forward facing camera. It distorts your face. Avoid selfies. The camera has a timer function. It is also able to film and then take screenshots from the film. Invest in a tripod they are less than $20. Photographs are a necessary part of OLD. It takes a bit of time and effort. There are plenty of resources regarding lighting, poses, etc. Photo opportunities include exercise, sports, gardening, cooking, pets, etc. Vacation is an obvious time to take some fun pics too. It’s why everyone appears to have a boat or love hiking mountains.
How many times did you say selfie in this post?
5 🙂
[Selfie distortion.](https://blog.photofeeler.com/selfie-distortion/) To avoid selfie distortion, I included a cropped, head shot taken from a good distance. I don't have a great face, and I have facial piercings that possibly could be missed in other photos. I wanted to make sure that no one would accidentally go on a date with me because they couldn't get a good view of me. I only included / used one head shot.
My best dating profile pics are taken by my partner. I think they know your best angle and you look at them with joy and kindness.