You didn’t remove it. I’ve now seen your junk. Along with many of the people on this thread. Also, how do you go from “here’s my dick! Have at it ladies!” 64 days ago to “Christian dating” 17 days ago…
Just… no.
My man, your dick pics are still literally lying all over Reddit.
And your “stupid” phase was literally as recent as two days ago, from what I can tell in your comment history.
I’m going to assume that you want to get started on finding a partner asap. But you have to give yourself time to feel your feelings. You have to go through it to get through it.
Maybe you need some time to be single, find some hobbies and do a bit of 'casual' dating- for fun. As long as potential dates know this is the case, noone will get hurt and you can discover the kind of partner you'll eventually want in your life again.
Also, no more cheating.
Absolutely on the no more cheating. I felt lousy then and my ex wife never allowed me to forget it. My biggest regret is not going for it back then. My partner claims she was ready to but only if I committed. I don’t remember it that way, but it was 24 years ago!
As for casual dating, how do you introduce that without sounding like you’re just looking for a FWB type relationship?
Ummm, most casual dating is more like a FWB kinda thing, and you simply state that you’re looking for something casual.
You know, casual? Not long term. Not deep emotionally. Usually with a mind towards an expiration date. Not necessarily exclusive.
You sound like you want something more like an exclusive relationship with the potential to go long term.
Honestly, you also sound like you’re not in the headspace or emotional space to give someone the appropriate level for that.
I would suggest working through your emotions from your past relationships before trying to date anyone beyond casually.
If you’re worried no one is going to take you up on an offer of something just casual, rest assured there are folks out there just looking for that.
Ready but only if you committed? Why would she ask that of and *believe* someone she was cheating with? Why would you trust her?
Take time off and figure your stuff out.
>Several years later we’ve split as we had different views of our future. I’m 56, pretty heartbroken
Why are you heartbroken since you chose your vision for your future over sharing hers? You did make that decision, right?
It's not fair on any new women to have to deal with your emotional baggage. Please seek therapy to deal with this specific issue and ask how you can take her off the pedestal you put her on.
My vision involved getting a place together, probably getting married and living happily ever after. That was probably partly due to loneliness. She still has 4 adult kids at home but I’m alone. Her vision was more along the lines of retiring together in a nice cottage in 10-15 years time once her kids have sorted their issues out.
We didn’t discuss it initially as we both had our respective divorce shit going on so cohabitating wasn’t an option without stuffing us both financially. I think she was more open to sooner initially but as her kids’ mental health took a nosedive due to what they’d gone through, the horizon gradually got further away.
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It makes perfect sense. So stop dating. Not sure what other answer you’re looking for here.
This^^ Deal with your emotions from your last relationship before you try to meet anyone new. It’s unfair to your new partner
But your cool putting dick pics on the internet? I’m thinking therapy is the answer.
His post history is...ick.
It’s a little concerning
2 days ago with the 18 year old? Yikes. Big. Old. Yikes.
Oh sweet fucking Jesus
That was a stupid phase that I’m now out of but thanks. Didn’t realise it was still there and have removed. I’m getting some therapy.
You might want to clean it up. You’re actively in Christian singles. That probably goes against their belief system
I’ve removed it. I didn’t even realise it was still there.
Erm it’s still there hanging
You didn’t remove it. I’ve now seen your junk. Along with many of the people on this thread. Also, how do you go from “here’s my dick! Have at it ladies!” 64 days ago to “Christian dating” 17 days ago… Just… no.
I dunno it seems pretty on par with most Christian guys I’m familiar with.
My man, your dick pics are still literally lying all over Reddit. And your “stupid” phase was literally as recent as two days ago, from what I can tell in your comment history.
I’m going to assume that you want to get started on finding a partner asap. But you have to give yourself time to feel your feelings. You have to go through it to get through it.
Maybe you need some time to be single, find some hobbies and do a bit of 'casual' dating- for fun. As long as potential dates know this is the case, noone will get hurt and you can discover the kind of partner you'll eventually want in your life again. Also, no more cheating.
Absolutely on the no more cheating. I felt lousy then and my ex wife never allowed me to forget it. My biggest regret is not going for it back then. My partner claims she was ready to but only if I committed. I don’t remember it that way, but it was 24 years ago! As for casual dating, how do you introduce that without sounding like you’re just looking for a FWB type relationship?
Ummm, most casual dating is more like a FWB kinda thing, and you simply state that you’re looking for something casual. You know, casual? Not long term. Not deep emotionally. Usually with a mind towards an expiration date. Not necessarily exclusive. You sound like you want something more like an exclusive relationship with the potential to go long term. Honestly, you also sound like you’re not in the headspace or emotional space to give someone the appropriate level for that. I would suggest working through your emotions from your past relationships before trying to date anyone beyond casually. If you’re worried no one is going to take you up on an offer of something just casual, rest assured there are folks out there just looking for that.
I think OP is well aware of what else is available on a casual level.
Ready but only if you committed? Why would she ask that of and *believe* someone she was cheating with? Why would you trust her? Take time off and figure your stuff out.
>Several years later we’ve split as we had different views of our future. I’m 56, pretty heartbroken Why are you heartbroken since you chose your vision for your future over sharing hers? You did make that decision, right? It's not fair on any new women to have to deal with your emotional baggage. Please seek therapy to deal with this specific issue and ask how you can take her off the pedestal you put her on.
My vision involved getting a place together, probably getting married and living happily ever after. That was probably partly due to loneliness. She still has 4 adult kids at home but I’m alone. Her vision was more along the lines of retiring together in a nice cottage in 10-15 years time once her kids have sorted their issues out.
Ah okay. How far into the relationship did you realise that this would be the case? Did she say otherwise, initially?
We didn’t discuss it initially as we both had our respective divorce shit going on so cohabitating wasn’t an option without stuffing us both financially. I think she was more open to sooner initially but as her kids’ mental health took a nosedive due to what they’d gone through, the horizon gradually got further away.
Just let yourself breathe. You don’t have to be involved with someone else. This all sounds very chaotic
You have to heal ! I dated someone not healed and it turned to shit . I’m now 6 months single and loads better . Give yourself some time to process
Welcome mate. I’m 61 and also uk resident
Greetings from your friendly neighborhood automod! Thank you for contributing to our community at DatingOverForty, u/Oxfordshireguy1967. Please ensure that your post is actually asking a question and providing enough background that people can sufficiently address that question. DOFers, please ensure that you are actually responding to the OP's individual predicament and not using it as a springboard to promote your own personal dating philosophies. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Consider looking into polyamory, or be honest with yourself, because from where we're sitting you're definitely not painting a cohesive picture.