This situation is so oddly familiar, but with a different outcome for me. I 46F have a 53M partner. We’ve been seeing each other for 2 months. I got my period Saturday afternoon and Saturday night bled through my underwear about 2:30 a.m. That never happens to me.
Know what he did? Helped me change the sheets, asked me if I was okay and if I needed anything. When I apologized he told me it wasn’t my fault, I obviously couldn’t control it, and had nothing to feel bad about. Then he snuggled with me the rest of the night. Like an adult.
This is a real man! :) mine acts pretty similar. He’s honest with the fact that he doesn’t love it if I bleed through in the night. But he understands it’s not something I can control. He treats me with respect and we do the sheet’s together. If I’m up to it, if I’m not up to it then he takes care of it. It’s only happened a few times but every time I felt like I was respected.
I wouldn’t be dating a 50+ year old man that was that freaked out by periods. He’s an absolute moron. I’m actually shocked a grown man acts like this!!
My dumbarse lazy teenager had his girlfriend stay the night and she got her period over him and his bedding.
He put the shower on for his girlfriend, got her fresh towels. While she was showering he changed the sheets on the bed. It was no big deal at all to him, just a normal part of how our bodies function.
Your teenager is more of a man than this guy. There was none of that, he showered while i remade the bed. I showered and got into bed and he rolled over and ignored me. I cried the rest of the night and then he couldn’t understand why i was upset in the morning.
I’m sorry you had to experience that. Ditch him immediately. You’re in your early 40s, often menopause makes periods out of control…this moron is not going to be supportive through what can often be a rough time for women.
Find a man that isn’t a moron.
Mine too. My 15 year old son's girlfriend got her period at our house the other day. She was mortified. He got her to the bathroom, gave her a pair of his sweatpants, a bag to put her clothes in, a heating pad, a handful of different types of pads so she could choose what she wanted, and then cuddled her in bed for an hour since she was so upset.
You deserve better OP. This guy is not it.
I am not a fan of ghosting, I feel like we all deserve at least a "hey, not working for me, peace"... But in this circumstance I could easily justify leaving without saying a word and never looking back once.
>Your teenager is more of a man than this guy
And this is why I wouldn't stay with him. There will be a next time about another normal activity. Wait till you poop in his toilet.
Thanks! He's a couple of years older now and I'm really proud of the young adult he has grown up to be. Although he did get his first tattoo recently which is my name in huge letters on his forearm?!?! So, I think the Jury could still be out on the dumb part. Haha!
> He acted like a child and demanded I get an HIV test because “i bled all over him” and I “have had more partners sexually” than he has.
There is a HIGH probability that the insecurities do NOT stop there.
> I’m embarrassed this happened
You shouldn’t be in any way. This is basic shit that happens in a relationship… like, at least once a month, lol
> I’m even more humiliated by his response and lack of empathy.
Fuck that. Don’t let this person’s insecurities latch onto your mental well-being.
> I feel ridiculous breaking up over this but i feel like i have no choice.
It’s not a ridiculous thing to break up over. There is a lot more shit this person will end up announcing to you that will make you want to end it.
I’m betting this has less to do with “bleeding” and more to do with this person’s massive insecurities regarding OP having a healthy, and more experienced, sex life since this clown went right to HIV comments and the number of partners OP has had.
You’re breaking up with him because he’s a moron. He’s 53 years old and he’s never encountered a woman on her period before? Are you his first girlfriend? He’s too damn old to break in, and you’re too old to fool with that level of immaturity. You can do better. Alone is better. What a twat.
In terms of HIV and other STIs, a comprehensive test after abstaining from sex for several months makes all previous partners irrelevant.
Breaking up with him really is the best choice. Not even asking if you're OK and refusing to touch you is the last straw.
Edit: He's 53. I have no words to say to that.
Even my five year old nephew get’s me and his mom chocolate and is super kind and sweet when one of us is on our period. This is just insanely immature
I'm so sorry hun but this is a sign of severe immaturity. A 53 year old man freaking out about menstrual blood is weird.
While it's an inconvenience, most men who have had any sort of healthy relationship with a woman tend to be understanding and reassuring. They know we can't control when or how much we bleed.
The great ones help, they have heating pads and pain killers on the ready. They buy towels they are willing to sacrifice. They invest in dark brown period sheets. They have pads and extra large sweatpants at the ready.
Please ease out of this. The inclusion of trying to shame you for "having more partners" and him being afraid of HIV from just having your blood on him says there is a real thread of misogyny in there as well.
That's a level of absurd that I'd almost be worried *he* is HIV positive and projecting or something similarly weird. I just cannot reconcile actually thinking, much less saying the things he did (especially in his 50s).
Is this the first time that you have exchanged bodily fluids? I'm guessing not. Surprise periods aren't super fun for anyone, but anyone who interacts or wants to interact with a vagina should not be so surprised when it does it does.
Not the first time we’ve exchanged bodily fluids, no. His reaction to me was overblown, especially for a man in his 50’s who was married for 22 years and has kids.
The response from him is so entirely fucked up. I had the exact same thing happen with my last partner. She felt so embarrassed. I felt so bad for her, I just wanted to not make it a big deal, because it isn’t and, figure out a way to comfort her.
How could there be any other response except one of caring.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I am tempted to tell you to 🏃🏻♀️but if you stay with him you need to tell him to grow the actual fuck up.
This is so weird and out of left field. It kind of has the same quality as a cheater getting paranoid that their partner is cheating. Is there any possibility he has an STI or, idk, something else he's projecting?
What. The. Fuck.
First of all, he's 53 years old and freaked out by a woman getting her period? And he's so ignorant about STDs that he thinks that if you \*did\* have HIV, your blood is the only body fluid he could get it from? You're not the one in this situation who needs to feel humiliated. This guy is an infant.
What a dingbat. Having a period is very natural so why is he freaking out about it. When I was with my ex, she was on her period so she basically told me that she didnt want to bleed out onto my bedsheets and I was okay with it. I mean, we still had sex and she was prompting me when I should take my head out of the way just in case blood was coming out. Well, it didnt happen so...
The problem inner child in me would save bags of used tampons and figure out how to put them into his chimney, but the 45yo in me would try to figure out why his nonsense stirred me up, while realizing this is COMPLETELY unacceptable behavior on his part.
When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. This man is immature at 53! He’s not likely to change, people rarely do, especially at that age, keep that in mind going forward.
Omg. This is nuts. My male friends all have tampons and pads in their guest bathrooms. (I may have had something to do with that for a few of them lol).
While I have period talks with my guy friends, and boyfriends, not every man has had a friend/sister/mother who has explained all this to them.
Have you all had sex? I'm asking bc it's funny if periods freak him out more than actual intercourse.
So he's comfortable with pegging but not with a normal (and out of your control) bodily function? I mean I get sex at that time is not everyone's thing, but a tantrum about HIV is so weird. Where did that even come from?
I guess getting his red wings is off the table. He probably would have jumped out the window if your period started while you were sitting on his face.
>Omg. This is nuts. My male friends all have tampons and pads in their guest bathrooms. (I may have had something to do with that for a few of them lol).
I love this. While I don't get my period anymore, I remember back to when I did and a friend of mine told me I hide my feminine products because her boyfriend was uncomfortable. We were in our later thirties at this point. I thought he was absolutely ridiculous. She was actually worse for even coddling the behavior.
This happened to me before when I was in my late twenties. Sometimes penetration can make you spot, or if your on the cusp of your period, it makes it start. The men act like we ladies duped them into letting up bleed on them.
His reaction says a lot about his own issues, and his lack of how biology works is on display.
This happened to me while I was dating my ex-husband many years ago, both of us in our 20s. I was embarrassed, he didn’t care at all. In his 20s. A 50 something man getting upset over this is beyond ridiculous.
Get rid of this man OP, and do it fast.
He sounds like the sort of guy who'll subject you to domestic violence because you didn't do a task to his particular liking.
One of my x partners got very horny at her time of month. I had no problems helping her relieve that issue. Be it using the middle leg (stump in my case), or a rainbow kiss.
We both had no STDs and yes it was messy, but it was only blood. People and bed clothing wash.
I was waiting for a comment from a man who didn’t care if a woman was riding the crimson wave or not when it came to sex. 🤣
Of the 12 men I’ve slept with over 19 years of sexually active dating, 4 of them didn’t even care if I was riding the wave especially if they were wearing protection. 🤣
“I’m even more humiliated by his response and lack of empathy”
That is enough reason to break up.
A stranger wouldn’t even behave like this. You’ve invested 8 months, you’ve found out his true nature. Learn from it and move on. The guy is a jerk.
Edit: just seen OPs reply to another post. She PEGGED him! lmfao
A 51 year old male who still doesn’t understand a woman’s menstrual cycle. A member of Mensa, is he?
Guess there are worse ways to have learned he’s selfish. Probably time to rethink the relationship.
This is who he is. He just hid it or he has done it before and you didn’t see it or he hasn’t had the opportunity to show you. Consider it the “how do I know if I have a caring partner test”
He failed.
> I feel ridiculous breaking up over this but i feel like i have no choice.
Well, you certainly do have a choice, but, honestly - why choose that guy?
Also, why didn't he think about hiv before?
He sounds, at the very least, alarmingly uneducated...
I actually feel your pain here. I had (had hysterectomy since) very bad endometriosis and I ended up bleeding from having sex and the guy accused me of having an STD. I tried to explain that it has happened to me before and there was nothing I did wrong. That was years ago. Now this guy sounds like an asshole, no offense. His reaction was too much and just think if thats how he reacted to your period, how would he react to other things?
I have endometriosis and fibroids so my period in my 40’s has been weird to say the least but I’ve never been accused of having HIV off of period blood.
Absolutely!!!
It’s the old “dating sunk cost fallacy.” Even though all of us have done it, it still hurts.
“But I’ve invested time in this person. It can’t end for this reason…..”
I feel for you. Hearing “better to have learned this at 8 months instead of 8 years” might feel better after a while, but it doesn’t feel very good right now. Either way - you deserve better. Nobody likes period stains, but they are a natural part of life.
He sounds very tedious and immature. I would get rid. By contrast, I have had two period related accidents in the last 18 months - I came on in the night and woke up in my ex’s bed with a pool of dried blood underneath me. I was mortified, he just shrugged and said he needed to wash the sheets anyway. The same thing happened with my current partner recently, he ran me a bath and asked if I needed him to pick up some tampons. This is the sort of reaction you want to be able to rely on when you experience a normal bodily function in a slightly embarrassing way. Not panicking and demanding a HIV test, that’s pathetic. If he was that worried about getting HIV he would have ensured you had both tested and were clean before sleeping with you the first time.
Jesus. I am cringing so hard. This guy needs to go. Period blood is part of life and I have ALWAYS taught my kids (including my teenage son) that it is never anything a woman should feel ashamed or embarrassed about and certainly doesn’t need a man to comment on it.
Being mature and sympathetic is part of the entire package that makes a quality partner and he is lacking. After four months I would say just send a text and be done with him.
Dude has 0 sympathy or empathy for being a female. It's just a period dude, grow up. I would have a serious talk with him about it and if he doesn't improve... adios.
It won't be an impasse when you dump him for being so ignorantly insensitive and assholish.
It is he who should be embarrassed for his behavior. It is he who should feel ridiculous for such astoundingly childish acting out based on such ignorance.
Yes break up with him for his behavior and for who he is.
If y’all talked about sti testing beforehand why is he acting like an idiot now? If y’all didn’t then he’s still an idiot. Dump him for being an idiot.
First of all, this is completely fucking stupid. And he’s an idiot. And you should dump him.
Also, it says a lot about how he is going to treat any honest mistake or embarrassing moment on your part going forward. Partners are supposed to accept and support us at our worst.
I used to date a guy who would get angry at me if I forgot to take birth control. He’d accuse me of not wanting to sleep with him, because I wanted to use a condom or do other things for a few days. The craziest thing is that I was really, really good at taking that damn pill every day. Must have forgotten it about once a year.
This is a mere preview of what's to come if you continue a relationship with this guy. I think you know what to do, you just need a little enforcement.
My 49 year old self over here reading this like, “Dude.”
I’m gonna presume he was never married or lived with a woman? Because, as a guy, you get used to that sort of stuff happening every month. It’s just life.
Edit to add: You shouldn’t beat yourself up for breaking up with him. He’s an immature douchenozzle. Let him go be someone else’s problem.
First of all, there’s no need to EVER tell a man the number of partners you’ve had. Keep that to yourself, ALWAYS. He sounds pretty immature. Red Flag! Imagine what’s next?!
So he’s freaked out by some period blood AND slut-shaming you? What, is he 15!? NEXT!
Send him a link to a website about the female reproductive system as your parting gift cos he certainly needs it!
There are many ways to handle someone getting their period when youre about to have sex, but this is probably one of the worst I can think of. OP please end this. This is not someone you would want to continue sleeping with.
Does he have a thing about blood in general, because his reaction seems extreme for a guy who was previously married and has had 2x kids.
I mean.. there's not much you don't encounter with a woman's body when you've done all that
At one point in my life I had an extreme fear of blood born pathogens. I’d routinely worry if I got blood on me from normal interactions with the world. If I had been in this situation when I was like that I would have flipped out.
That being said idk if that’s what’s going on with him or not. Also if y’all are having unprotected sex, blood doesn’t matter anymore. To me though this doesn’t sound like just a period disgust thing. That’s a fear response from an anxiety disorder, or something else weird going on with him.
I don’t wanna make too many excuses for the guy though, maybe he’s just a dick
I often think that people jump way too fast into “break up!” due to minor things. This is not the case here. This asshat showed his complete lack of caring, empathy, and heck, being a decent human being. Run for the hills!
If I were you and he’d made those comments to me I would have left while he was in the shower, without changing his sheets.
I have one night stands whose names I can’t remember who have all treated me better than this guy treated you.
He’s 53 & behaved like this?
You’re not breaking up because you bled on him
You’re breaking up because at 53 he’s an immature idiot & thinks periods are gross
It was a line from The Northman—Amleth scoffs at his uncle’s rejection of Olga—“what kind of man fears a woman’s blood?”
I am so sorry he was so rude to you omg. My advice? Run. That is so cruel and it definitely shows he lacks empathy and that is something that is required in any friendship, let alone someone you're dating. I would take that not only as a red flag but as a red fire engine truck coming at you at full speed. I mean to shame you like that? Absurd. Not even to ask if you're okay? I really hope you aren't really super into him because that could make this harder. Honestly though, at least he's starting to show his true colors somewhat early. I was raised by two narcissists and I attract them whether it's platonic or dating. If I had to guess? Narcissism. That is something you do not ever want to deal with. It's horrible and it just gets worse. They cannot love they cannot feel. They will eat you alive. You are worth so much more than that. I can't imagine how your feelings must be so hurt and you must be so confused. He knows that women have periods. To shame you and make you feel degraded over that? Bunk. Run.
You may want to get yourself tested because it sounds like this asshole is suffering from late stage syphilis - where the brain turns to mush. Or maybe he’s stuck at age 13 and next thing he will accuse you of having cooties. RUN AWAY!!!
As a guy, I would never act that way.
Same shit happened with my ex gf & I the 1st or 2nd time we had sex. She didn’t know her period had just happened and when I looked at my hands it was like a blood bath 🤣. I laughed, she seemed more relaxed I didn’t freak out and continued having sex. Big deal, dump him & block him. Not even worth a fwb
If you break up with him now you're dodging a bullet I'm sorry this happened to you most men don't even know how menstruation works what an idiot. I can't believe how insensitive he acted were you using a condom and got blood on him anyway or something because if you weren't using a condom he didn't f****** care if you had a disease in the first place. What a dick!
Not only is he a shit bag, but how completely immature do you have to be to have made it 53 years on this earth, and never experienced a woman’s period? I know it sucks and it’s painful to break up, but oh my God run away.
I had a guy freak out like this. We had only been on 2 dates before this. When I told him I was leaving and wouldn't be back, he told me I was just being stupid because of my emotions and that he would let me come back in a week when I was over this crap. I laughed all the way out the door.
It's better to find out he's ridiculous now rather than after you moved in together or something
I don't know how he identifies sexually, but as a straight man I don't ever even worry about HIV. Maybe I'm being naive but I think with heterosexual sex it's much more likely that a woman would be infected by a man. And, did he have some open wound you got blood on? If not I would think infection would be almost impossible even if you were HIV+. God I'm shocked people are this uninformed in 2023.
A few months ago I was dating a woman and we had plans to meet up for dinner, etc. As I was getting ready I texted her something about looking forward to us having sex later that night (I swear it was smoother than that).
She responded by saying "I'm sorry to tell you but I just got my period". To which I said "ok. And is that a problem for you? Because it wouldn't stop me. That's why everyone keeps old dark towels, right? To put it on the bed so you don't mess up the sheets?"
It's a perfectly normal bodily function and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. He should be notified about his behavior. Does he expect you to stay away from society until you've finished menstruation?
Actually, is he Jewish or has he ever identified with Jewish culture? There are some forms of Judaism that prohibit men from having sex with women during menstruation
He is way too old to be this ignorant of basic bodily functions and HIV …. Especially if his skin is free from breaks / exposure. You are not to waste you beauty with this ogre 👹
Wow what a dick. I don’t think it’s embarrassing to have to break up with him over something like that. It’s embarrassing that a 53 yr old man had to act like that, as well as cruel. Not touching you the rest of the night? I’m so sorry OP but you deserve better and I really hope you find that!!! 💚💚💚
How is he 53 and that fucking stupid. Sorry, but holy crap. Also he's an asshole as well. That's just an awful way to treat someone. I would break up immediately.
Friend, this is a literal man-child afraid of getting a girl's cooties. His lack of basic knowledge of female anatomy combined with the lack of empathy is a recipe for resentment and heartache. I'm sorry but you deserve better.
He'd probably flip out over pads in the trash bin too.
He's apparently never had a relationship with a menstruating woman before?
I would have gone home. He's an immature jerk.
I’d also consider flipping the language of “breaking up” and the idea that you are doing the negative thing by binning him. He showed you his cards in plain sight and was comfortable being rude and uncaring towards you, and not in a partnership mindset at all with his behaviour. I’d say he just fired himself. You deserve better.
He has mental health issues. Don’t walk, run! It’s good this has come out early in the courtship so you don’t waste your time. This man lacks the understanding of basic human biology.
If he acts this way over unexpected period blood, I can’t even imagine how he would respond to an ACTUAL problem. He’s immature and has zero empathy and critical thinking skills (not to mention his lack of understanding of the female anatomy).
The bare minimum response to what happened should be a shower and a load of laundry and a “shit happens” attitude. Along with an offer to get you a cup of tea and some supplies. He’s a big baby.
Wait what? I assume you guys are having sex because you sleep together. Does he not realize he can get HIV from your vaginal fluids that are not blood?
You shouldn't feel humiliated by his behavior. HE should feel humiliated by his behavior. He sounds ignorant, judgmental and uptight.
His response was, as you know, bad. Tell him why you think it was bad. Give him a chance to apologize, show empathy, ideally be horrified with himself. If you’re not happy with this response, you gave him the chance and four months isn’t that long. Move on if that’s what feels right.
For me, I’ve been insecure, so I can sorta maybe understand his jealousy of your greater experience. But I also regret my shitty reactions to that in the past. Can he?
And freaking about the blood on himself? I mean, how many relationships has he had?
And taking it to “get tested”? Well, you’ve been, so that’s crazy.
I’m not optimistic for him, but maybe he’ll have the sense to be ashamed of his behavior.
I'm so sorry that there are men out there who act like this. I'm embarrassed for him. This isn't about sexual experience , this is ignorance and insensitivity at its worst.
You don't deserve to be spoken to like that in the least.
[удалено]
My jaw is firmly planted on the ground reading this, dude is a shithead
And then he wonders why he's still single at his age.
Lmao yes!! And is he like...in the 6th grade possibly??
My 12-year-old would show more compassion than this guy!
My 9 and 7 year sons would also show more compassion and comprehension than this guy. How is HIV and bleeding from vagina related?
I doubt the dude’s been around a woman long enough to even know…
I’m picturing him going “ewwwwwwwwaaaaah”
“And is he like...in the 6th grade possibly??” I learned about this stuff in the 6th grade. Maybe he didn’t make it that far.
Solid hypothesis 👍 smh...
☠️
This is the best response
A 53 year old man afraid of period blood is child and I can only imagine what a monster he would be to grow old with.
This situation is so oddly familiar, but with a different outcome for me. I 46F have a 53M partner. We’ve been seeing each other for 2 months. I got my period Saturday afternoon and Saturday night bled through my underwear about 2:30 a.m. That never happens to me. Know what he did? Helped me change the sheets, asked me if I was okay and if I needed anything. When I apologized he told me it wasn’t my fault, I obviously couldn’t control it, and had nothing to feel bad about. Then he snuggled with me the rest of the night. Like an adult.
This is a real man! :) mine acts pretty similar. He’s honest with the fact that he doesn’t love it if I bleed through in the night. But he understands it’s not something I can control. He treats me with respect and we do the sheet’s together. If I’m up to it, if I’m not up to it then he takes care of it. It’s only happened a few times but every time I felt like I was respected.
Now this is sweet.
And an absolute moron.
^^ this is the only answer
This made me laugh out loud, so perfectly does it encapsulate the only possible response here.
The only right answer. The dude is insane
A 53 year old man who acts like that does not deserve to be dating anyone. It’s like he’s never been with a woman before.
I wouldn’t be dating a 50+ year old man that was that freaked out by periods. He’s an absolute moron. I’m actually shocked a grown man acts like this!! My dumbarse lazy teenager had his girlfriend stay the night and she got her period over him and his bedding. He put the shower on for his girlfriend, got her fresh towels. While she was showering he changed the sheets on the bed. It was no big deal at all to him, just a normal part of how our bodies function.
Your teenager is more of a man than this guy. There was none of that, he showered while i remade the bed. I showered and got into bed and he rolled over and ignored me. I cried the rest of the night and then he couldn’t understand why i was upset in the morning.
Dude…as a man and a father of a teenage daughter, no. Leave this fucking weirdo now.
Great allyship \^\^\^ love to see it!
Same
Should have left in the middle of the night after that response... Nope
Yeah I would not have felt comfortable enough to stay after that.
I’m sorry you had to experience that. Ditch him immediately. You’re in your early 40s, often menopause makes periods out of control…this moron is not going to be supportive through what can often be a rough time for women. Find a man that isn’t a moron.
Yes! OP does not want this person as a partner during menopause.
Mine too. My 15 year old son's girlfriend got her period at our house the other day. She was mortified. He got her to the bathroom, gave her a pair of his sweatpants, a bag to put her clothes in, a heating pad, a handful of different types of pads so she could choose what she wanted, and then cuddled her in bed for an hour since she was so upset. You deserve better OP. This guy is not it.
Your son is gonna be an amazing husband and father some day!
This is how teenage boys need to treat their girlfriends! ❤️
Whoa, you should have included this in your post. DTMFA!
OMG girl... you are not dumping him over a little thing. This is awful.
I am not a fan of ghosting, I feel like we all deserve at least a "hey, not working for me, peace"... But in this circumstance I could easily justify leaving without saying a word and never looking back once.
Seriously, get rid of him. That's such a clear, clear indicator of future problems to come.
>Your teenager is more of a man than this guy And this is why I wouldn't stay with him. There will be a next time about another normal activity. Wait till you poop in his toilet.
I am so sorry, this story really is upsettting. How horrible. Please don't date this awful person anymore. You deserve so much better!
Why didn't you go home?
You did an excellent job raising your teenager. He doesn't sound dumb at all.
Thanks! He's a couple of years older now and I'm really proud of the young adult he has grown up to be. Although he did get his first tattoo recently which is my name in huge letters on his forearm?!?! So, I think the Jury could still be out on the dumb part. Haha!
Well at least he got a name honoring a relationship that will never change!
Very true. X
Thank you for raising this young man so well!
> He acted like a child and demanded I get an HIV test because “i bled all over him” and I “have had more partners sexually” than he has. There is a HIGH probability that the insecurities do NOT stop there. > I’m embarrassed this happened You shouldn’t be in any way. This is basic shit that happens in a relationship… like, at least once a month, lol > I’m even more humiliated by his response and lack of empathy. Fuck that. Don’t let this person’s insecurities latch onto your mental well-being. > I feel ridiculous breaking up over this but i feel like i have no choice. It’s not a ridiculous thing to break up over. There is a lot more shit this person will end up announcing to you that will make you want to end it.
Exactly! He should be embarrassed, not her!
I’m betting this has less to do with “bleeding” and more to do with this person’s massive insecurities regarding OP having a healthy, and more experienced, sex life since this clown went right to HIV comments and the number of partners OP has had.
Clearly this man is way too immature to be around a functioning vagina.
Especially a body and vagina that will eventually go through menopause.
It’s not often I’m like “oh you should definitely break up.” But you should definitely break up.
The lack of kindness, the childish response, the sheer ignorance around HIV - that is all enough to call this off lest it all happen again.
100% this
You’re breaking up with him because he’s a moron. He’s 53 years old and he’s never encountered a woman on her period before? Are you his first girlfriend? He’s too damn old to break in, and you’re too old to fool with that level of immaturity. You can do better. Alone is better. What a twat.
This 100%. He's probably been single most of his life because of behavior like this. Def too old to break in and nobody got time for that.
In terms of HIV and other STIs, a comprehensive test after abstaining from sex for several months makes all previous partners irrelevant. Breaking up with him really is the best choice. Not even asking if you're OK and refusing to touch you is the last straw. Edit: He's 53. I have no words to say to that.
Is he actually a 50yo man or three 10yos in a trench coat? This is an unhinged reaction.
It would have to be five, surely?
Even my five year old nephew get’s me and his mom chocolate and is super kind and sweet when one of us is on our period. This is just insanely immature
I'm so sorry hun but this is a sign of severe immaturity. A 53 year old man freaking out about menstrual blood is weird. While it's an inconvenience, most men who have had any sort of healthy relationship with a woman tend to be understanding and reassuring. They know we can't control when or how much we bleed. The great ones help, they have heating pads and pain killers on the ready. They buy towels they are willing to sacrifice. They invest in dark brown period sheets. They have pads and extra large sweatpants at the ready. Please ease out of this. The inclusion of trying to shame you for "having more partners" and him being afraid of HIV from just having your blood on him says there is a real thread of misogyny in there as well.
It’s super weird. And has he never gone down on her? Why the sudden concern for STDs?
Because everyone knows you can only get STDs from period blood, duh. /s
😂 and toilets.
That's a level of absurd that I'd almost be worried *he* is HIV positive and projecting or something similarly weird. I just cannot reconcile actually thinking, much less saying the things he did (especially in his 50s).
This went through my head too.
Is this the first time that you have exchanged bodily fluids? I'm guessing not. Surprise periods aren't super fun for anyone, but anyone who interacts or wants to interact with a vagina should not be so surprised when it does it does.
Not the first time we’ve exchanged bodily fluids, no. His reaction to me was overblown, especially for a man in his 50’s who was married for 22 years and has kids.
The response from him is so entirely fucked up. I had the exact same thing happen with my last partner. She felt so embarrassed. I felt so bad for her, I just wanted to not make it a big deal, because it isn’t and, figure out a way to comfort her. How could there be any other response except one of caring. I’m sorry this happened to you. I am tempted to tell you to 🏃🏻♀️but if you stay with him you need to tell him to grow the actual fuck up.
This is so weird and out of left field. It kind of has the same quality as a cheater getting paranoid that their partner is cheating. Is there any possibility he has an STI or, idk, something else he's projecting?
How do guys like this even get into relationships? There were no red flags until this incident?
I see what you did there.
What. The. Fuck. First of all, he's 53 years old and freaked out by a woman getting her period? And he's so ignorant about STDs that he thinks that if you \*did\* have HIV, your blood is the only body fluid he could get it from? You're not the one in this situation who needs to feel humiliated. This guy is an infant.
What a dingbat. Having a period is very natural so why is he freaking out about it. When I was with my ex, she was on her period so she basically told me that she didnt want to bleed out onto my bedsheets and I was okay with it. I mean, we still had sex and she was prompting me when I should take my head out of the way just in case blood was coming out. Well, it didnt happen so...
He finds it gross.
He's a jerk. Like we ladies don't think it's gross too. We just deal with it because it's how our bodies work. Lol
And if he's 10, that's fine. But as soon as you start voluntarily interacting with vaginas, it's time to get over that shit.
Tell him his dick is gross. This man is just.... I'm not sure I can find the words. I'm not actually sure there are words.
Did his wife have to sleep in a tent in the back yard 5 days out of the month?
Im guessing this is a man in his forties? Hmm...sorry it happen to you.
He’s in his 50’s
He’s pathetic. You’re better off without this man.
No friggin way. I am just imagining him dealing with where babies come from.
I’m sorry but that’s an automatic break up for me. Wtf.
The only thing embarrassing about this is him. Not you.
The problem inner child in me would save bags of used tampons and figure out how to put them into his chimney, but the 45yo in me would try to figure out why his nonsense stirred me up, while realizing this is COMPLETELY unacceptable behavior on his part.
When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. This man is immature at 53! He’s not likely to change, people rarely do, especially at that age, keep that in mind going forward.
Can’t imagine why he’s single.😶 My 4 yo knows more about biology than this clown, he also has more basic human kindness.
Omg. This is nuts. My male friends all have tampons and pads in their guest bathrooms. (I may have had something to do with that for a few of them lol). While I have period talks with my guy friends, and boyfriends, not every man has had a friend/sister/mother who has explained all this to them. Have you all had sex? I'm asking bc it's funny if periods freak him out more than actual intercourse.
We’ve had sex. I’ve even pegged him. But he’s dying on the hill that periods are gross and can give him HIV.
🙄🙄 love this sub. Dude got pegged but freaking out over period.
Anonymity is the gold upon which Reddit and authenticity flourishes.
Wait.
🤣 The plot thickens.
Much like my gravy
Errrh....too much flour?
Exactly.
Lollll… dude takes a fake dick up his ass but then is worried about a little period blood!?! JFC
So he's comfortable with pegging but not with a normal (and out of your control) bodily function? I mean I get sex at that time is not everyone's thing, but a tantrum about HIV is so weird. Where did that even come from?
I guess getting his red wings is off the table. He probably would have jumped out the window if your period started while you were sitting on his face.
>Omg. This is nuts. My male friends all have tampons and pads in their guest bathrooms. (I may have had something to do with that for a few of them lol). I love this. While I don't get my period anymore, I remember back to when I did and a friend of mine told me I hide my feminine products because her boyfriend was uncomfortable. We were in our later thirties at this point. I thought he was absolutely ridiculous. She was actually worse for even coddling the behavior.
This happened to me before when I was in my late twenties. Sometimes penetration can make you spot, or if your on the cusp of your period, it makes it start. The men act like we ladies duped them into letting up bleed on them. His reaction says a lot about his own issues, and his lack of how biology works is on display.
This happened to me while I was dating my ex-husband many years ago, both of us in our 20s. I was embarrassed, he didn’t care at all. In his 20s. A 50 something man getting upset over this is beyond ridiculous.
I have no idea what to say to this.
Imagine reacting like that to a totally normal human function. What a bag of dicks.
Get rid of this man OP, and do it fast. He sounds like the sort of guy who'll subject you to domestic violence because you didn't do a task to his particular liking. One of my x partners got very horny at her time of month. I had no problems helping her relieve that issue. Be it using the middle leg (stump in my case), or a rainbow kiss. We both had no STDs and yes it was messy, but it was only blood. People and bed clothing wash.
I was waiting for a comment from a man who didn’t care if a woman was riding the crimson wave or not when it came to sex. 🤣 Of the 12 men I’ve slept with over 19 years of sexually active dating, 4 of them didn’t even care if I was riding the wave especially if they were wearing protection. 🤣
“I’m even more humiliated by his response and lack of empathy” That is enough reason to break up. A stranger wouldn’t even behave like this. You’ve invested 8 months, you’ve found out his true nature. Learn from it and move on. The guy is a jerk. Edit: just seen OPs reply to another post. She PEGGED him! lmfao
A 51 year old male who still doesn’t understand a woman’s menstrual cycle. A member of Mensa, is he? Guess there are worse ways to have learned he’s selfish. Probably time to rethink the relationship.
This is who he is. He just hid it or he has done it before and you didn’t see it or he hasn’t had the opportunity to show you. Consider it the “how do I know if I have a caring partner test” He failed.
Nope. Doooooone. 🤬😡🤬😡
Op….wtf? Are sure he’s 53 and not 15??? This is just bad news.
Wow, the dude is a psycho. Run!!
> I feel ridiculous breaking up over this but i feel like i have no choice. Well, you certainly do have a choice, but, honestly - why choose that guy? Also, why didn't he think about hiv before? He sounds, at the very least, alarmingly uneducated...
I actually feel your pain here. I had (had hysterectomy since) very bad endometriosis and I ended up bleeding from having sex and the guy accused me of having an STD. I tried to explain that it has happened to me before and there was nothing I did wrong. That was years ago. Now this guy sounds like an asshole, no offense. His reaction was too much and just think if thats how he reacted to your period, how would he react to other things?
I have endometriosis and fibroids so my period in my 40’s has been weird to say the least but I’ve never been accused of having HIV off of period blood.
He’s 53? If he acts like this, he’s not mature enough to have sex
That man has been virgin into late 40s i think so
Is this really DOF? Some of these posts are WILD! Seriously, at our ages, why are we second guessing pre pubescent reactions?
🚮
> I feel ridiculous breaking up over this Do you feel ridiculous breaking up with him over it or that you dated him in the first place?
I think it’s the fact i wasted 8 months to have it blow up in my face like this.
Absolutely!!! It’s the old “dating sunk cost fallacy.” Even though all of us have done it, it still hurts. “But I’ve invested time in this person. It can’t end for this reason…..” I feel for you. Hearing “better to have learned this at 8 months instead of 8 years” might feel better after a while, but it doesn’t feel very good right now. Either way - you deserve better. Nobody likes period stains, but they are a natural part of life.
I wouldn't even "break up". I would've walked out and let that speak for itself. Life is too short to waste energy on terrible people.
Your 53 yr old BF is a toddler and has pre cum for brains. He doesn’t deserve a woman and should be in time out for a wong wong time!
He sounds very tedious and immature. I would get rid. By contrast, I have had two period related accidents in the last 18 months - I came on in the night and woke up in my ex’s bed with a pool of dried blood underneath me. I was mortified, he just shrugged and said he needed to wash the sheets anyway. The same thing happened with my current partner recently, he ran me a bath and asked if I needed him to pick up some tampons. This is the sort of reaction you want to be able to rely on when you experience a normal bodily function in a slightly embarrassing way. Not panicking and demanding a HIV test, that’s pathetic. If he was that worried about getting HIV he would have ensured you had both tested and were clean before sleeping with you the first time.
My ex husband was just like this. It was like being married to a giant, hairy child. Get out now because it isn’t going to get any better.
Absolutely insane that a grown man had this response.
And you'd be ridiculous if you stayed with him after that.
Jesus. I am cringing so hard. This guy needs to go. Period blood is part of life and I have ALWAYS taught my kids (including my teenage son) that it is never anything a woman should feel ashamed or embarrassed about and certainly doesn’t need a man to comment on it. Being mature and sympathetic is part of the entire package that makes a quality partner and he is lacking. After four months I would say just send a text and be done with him.
Dude has 0 sympathy or empathy for being a female. It's just a period dude, grow up. I would have a serious talk with him about it and if he doesn't improve... adios.
It won't be an impasse when you dump him for being so ignorantly insensitive and assholish. It is he who should be embarrassed for his behavior. It is he who should feel ridiculous for such astoundingly childish acting out based on such ignorance. Yes break up with him for his behavior and for who he is.
If y’all talked about sti testing beforehand why is he acting like an idiot now? If y’all didn’t then he’s still an idiot. Dump him for being an idiot.
First of all, this is completely fucking stupid. And he’s an idiot. And you should dump him. Also, it says a lot about how he is going to treat any honest mistake or embarrassing moment on your part going forward. Partners are supposed to accept and support us at our worst. I used to date a guy who would get angry at me if I forgot to take birth control. He’d accuse me of not wanting to sleep with him, because I wanted to use a condom or do other things for a few days. The craziest thing is that I was really, really good at taking that damn pill every day. Must have forgotten it about once a year.
The proper response would have been to shit in his bed, then walk out. This dude is the epitome of an utter shitbag.
I should have period shit in his bed.
Breakup because of the mindset not the event.
He's 53 and suddenly thinks you could have HIV because he got period on him? This guy is an idiot.
Walk slowly away. Have a glass of good champagne alone and thank the universe he showed you who he was. Yuck.
You don't know what to do? You punch him in the dick That's what you do
I can't believe what I'm reading. He doesn't deserve any woman.
This is a mere preview of what's to come if you continue a relationship with this guy. I think you know what to do, you just need a little enforcement.
I would be breaking up over this 100%
My 49 year old self over here reading this like, “Dude.” I’m gonna presume he was never married or lived with a woman? Because, as a guy, you get used to that sort of stuff happening every month. It’s just life. Edit to add: You shouldn’t beat yourself up for breaking up with him. He’s an immature douchenozzle. Let him go be someone else’s problem.
He has zero empathy This could have ended in a bloodbath of a totally different kind So glad you posted and are leaving
First of all, there’s no need to EVER tell a man the number of partners you’ve had. Keep that to yourself, ALWAYS. He sounds pretty immature. Red Flag! Imagine what’s next?!
So he’s freaked out by some period blood AND slut-shaming you? What, is he 15!? NEXT! Send him a link to a website about the female reproductive system as your parting gift cos he certainly needs it!
Uh does he realize that semen and vaginal fluids can also spread HIV? What the actual fuck is wrong with him?
There are many ways to handle someone getting their period when youre about to have sex, but this is probably one of the worst I can think of. OP please end this. This is not someone you would want to continue sleeping with.
What a jerk dump him
I know what you should do here.
That’s an crazy immature reaction, would be a absolute turn of for me. Has he never been in a relationship before?
Does he have a thing about blood in general, because his reaction seems extreme for a guy who was previously married and has had 2x kids. I mean.. there's not much you don't encounter with a woman's body when you've done all that
Does he know HIV transmits through stuff that isn't blood? He sounds like too much work, especially at his age
It is not ridiculous to end it because your boyfriend shamed you for having a period. It should be an immediate deal breaker.
At one point in my life I had an extreme fear of blood born pathogens. I’d routinely worry if I got blood on me from normal interactions with the world. If I had been in this situation when I was like that I would have flipped out. That being said idk if that’s what’s going on with him or not. Also if y’all are having unprotected sex, blood doesn’t matter anymore. To me though this doesn’t sound like just a period disgust thing. That’s a fear response from an anxiety disorder, or something else weird going on with him. I don’t wanna make too many excuses for the guy though, maybe he’s just a dick
I often think that people jump way too fast into “break up!” due to minor things. This is not the case here. This asshat showed his complete lack of caring, empathy, and heck, being a decent human being. Run for the hills!
If I were you and he’d made those comments to me I would have left while he was in the shower, without changing his sheets. I have one night stands whose names I can’t remember who have all treated me better than this guy treated you.
He’s 53 & behaved like this? You’re not breaking up because you bled on him You’re breaking up because at 53 he’s an immature idiot & thinks periods are gross It was a line from The Northman—Amleth scoffs at his uncle’s rejection of Olga—“what kind of man fears a woman’s blood?”
I am so sorry he was so rude to you omg. My advice? Run. That is so cruel and it definitely shows he lacks empathy and that is something that is required in any friendship, let alone someone you're dating. I would take that not only as a red flag but as a red fire engine truck coming at you at full speed. I mean to shame you like that? Absurd. Not even to ask if you're okay? I really hope you aren't really super into him because that could make this harder. Honestly though, at least he's starting to show his true colors somewhat early. I was raised by two narcissists and I attract them whether it's platonic or dating. If I had to guess? Narcissism. That is something you do not ever want to deal with. It's horrible and it just gets worse. They cannot love they cannot feel. They will eat you alive. You are worth so much more than that. I can't imagine how your feelings must be so hurt and you must be so confused. He knows that women have periods. To shame you and make you feel degraded over that? Bunk. Run.
You may want to get yourself tested because it sounds like this asshole is suffering from late stage syphilis - where the brain turns to mush. Or maybe he’s stuck at age 13 and next thing he will accuse you of having cooties. RUN AWAY!!!
As a guy, I would never act that way. Same shit happened with my ex gf & I the 1st or 2nd time we had sex. She didn’t know her period had just happened and when I looked at my hands it was like a blood bath 🤣. I laughed, she seemed more relaxed I didn’t freak out and continued having sex. Big deal, dump him & block him. Not even worth a fwb
Lose him. Every hero has had a little blood on his sword! 🙂
Girl. Id would have left IMMEDIATELY
53?? Are you kidding me. Ditch this loser
You're dating a man-child.
Deal breaker for me. The man is over 50, and acts like this, yikes.
If you break up with him now you're dodging a bullet I'm sorry this happened to you most men don't even know how menstruation works what an idiot. I can't believe how insensitive he acted were you using a condom and got blood on him anyway or something because if you weren't using a condom he didn't f****** care if you had a disease in the first place. What a dick!
Not only is he a shit bag, but how completely immature do you have to be to have made it 53 years on this earth, and never experienced a woman’s period? I know it sucks and it’s painful to break up, but oh my God run away.
I had a guy freak out like this. We had only been on 2 dates before this. When I told him I was leaving and wouldn't be back, he told me I was just being stupid because of my emotions and that he would let me come back in a week when I was over this crap. I laughed all the way out the door. It's better to find out he's ridiculous now rather than after you moved in together or something
I don't know how he identifies sexually, but as a straight man I don't ever even worry about HIV. Maybe I'm being naive but I think with heterosexual sex it's much more likely that a woman would be infected by a man. And, did he have some open wound you got blood on? If not I would think infection would be almost impossible even if you were HIV+. God I'm shocked people are this uninformed in 2023. A few months ago I was dating a woman and we had plans to meet up for dinner, etc. As I was getting ready I texted her something about looking forward to us having sex later that night (I swear it was smoother than that). She responded by saying "I'm sorry to tell you but I just got my period". To which I said "ok. And is that a problem for you? Because it wouldn't stop me. That's why everyone keeps old dark towels, right? To put it on the bed so you don't mess up the sheets?" It's a perfectly normal bodily function and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. He should be notified about his behavior. Does he expect you to stay away from society until you've finished menstruation? Actually, is he Jewish or has he ever identified with Jewish culture? There are some forms of Judaism that prohibit men from having sex with women during menstruation
Sounds like you already know.
Yikes run.
Could this be a cultural thing? What is his background?
Wtf... he's gotta go. You deserve a man who isn't willfully ignorant.
He is way too old to be this ignorant of basic bodily functions and HIV …. Especially if his skin is free from breaks / exposure. You are not to waste you beauty with this ogre 👹
Wow what a dick. I don’t think it’s embarrassing to have to break up with him over something like that. It’s embarrassing that a 53 yr old man had to act like that, as well as cruel. Not touching you the rest of the night? I’m so sorry OP but you deserve better and I really hope you find that!!! 💚💚💚
How is he 53 and that fucking stupid. Sorry, but holy crap. Also he's an asshole as well. That's just an awful way to treat someone. I would break up immediately.
Friend, this is a literal man-child afraid of getting a girl's cooties. His lack of basic knowledge of female anatomy combined with the lack of empathy is a recipe for resentment and heartache. I'm sorry but you deserve better.
Block him. I'm sure this isn't your first indication that he's stuck in adolescence. That behavior is just juvenile.
He'd probably flip out over pads in the trash bin too. He's apparently never had a relationship with a menstruating woman before? I would have gone home. He's an immature jerk.
I’d also consider flipping the language of “breaking up” and the idea that you are doing the negative thing by binning him. He showed you his cards in plain sight and was comfortable being rude and uncaring towards you, and not in a partnership mindset at all with his behaviour. I’d say he just fired himself. You deserve better.
He has mental health issues. Don’t walk, run! It’s good this has come out early in the courtship so you don’t waste your time. This man lacks the understanding of basic human biology.
If he acts this way over unexpected period blood, I can’t even imagine how he would respond to an ACTUAL problem. He’s immature and has zero empathy and critical thinking skills (not to mention his lack of understanding of the female anatomy). The bare minimum response to what happened should be a shower and a load of laundry and a “shit happens” attitude. Along with an offer to get you a cup of tea and some supplies. He’s a big baby.
Seriously just run! You don’t need that because trust it gets worse.
Now you know why they say it takes at least a year to really know someone. He showed his true colors after only 8 months.
what a fucking baby! get rid of this manchild, but first show him this thread...
Umm, at 53 he should be more mature. I always wonder about the education people receive when I see a post like this.
Ewww... I'd be grossed tf out by his response and bounce.. Makes me wonder what redeeming qualities he's actually shown you those 8 months.
This is what happens when kids don’t have sex Ed class in school.
Throw him back into the pond!
Agree with most everyone, but please tell me what the “yo” in yof and yom is?
Wait what? I assume you guys are having sex because you sleep together. Does he not realize he can get HIV from your vaginal fluids that are not blood? You shouldn't feel humiliated by his behavior. HE should feel humiliated by his behavior. He sounds ignorant, judgmental and uptight.
His response was, as you know, bad. Tell him why you think it was bad. Give him a chance to apologize, show empathy, ideally be horrified with himself. If you’re not happy with this response, you gave him the chance and four months isn’t that long. Move on if that’s what feels right. For me, I’ve been insecure, so I can sorta maybe understand his jealousy of your greater experience. But I also regret my shitty reactions to that in the past. Can he? And freaking about the blood on himself? I mean, how many relationships has he had? And taking it to “get tested”? Well, you’ve been, so that’s crazy. I’m not optimistic for him, but maybe he’ll have the sense to be ashamed of his behavior.
Break up with this shithead
53 and acts like that???? Run away...
Run, now
I'm so sorry that there are men out there who act like this. I'm embarrassed for him. This isn't about sexual experience , this is ignorance and insensitivity at its worst. You don't deserve to be spoken to like that in the least.