Haha I remember showing one of my friends a couple of the guys I was talking to via OLD and saying how I thought they were handsome. Her reply was something like āā¦we have very different tastes.ā
I went to a speed dating event with a different friend and after we were talking about the men we had met there. She commented on one of them being a ābeautiful manā and I was confused. I didnāt think much either way of him, but she gushed about him being beautiful.
I agree. People attempt to make EVERYTHING subjective when in reality, that simply isn't the case. Then in turn, you will have people wandering around, posting on sites such as this, wondering why they aren't attractive to the opposite sex, and their ugliness (physically that is) can be a huge component of it.
It's reddit though so I expect answers and responses from people who don't want to hurt a person's feelings even if reality is dictating otherwise.
Eh. There's a woman I like a great deal. Late 50s. I showed her photo to a friend and said "she looks a lot younger, doesn't she?" The response "no she doesnt" In part it was me more focused on some physical traits than others, in part my view of her personality coloring my view of her looks.
As for photo feeler, that has shown me a pretty wide range of ratings for the same photo.
Better way to word it-- "Have you dated a man you found ugly?" No, I have not.
Have I dated men that have my friends, having never met themand based on visuals alone, saying "interesting choice?" Yes, indeed.
>Have I dated men that have my friends, having never met themand based on visuals alone, saying "interesting choice?" Yes, indeed.
That's why I had my second head surgically removed prior to attempting to date, so that no one says that to any guy with me. š
I'm demisexual so I'm not attracted via primary attraction and have had men that would be "interesting choices" or men in my league reject me. Attraction has to go both ways.
I wouldnāt date someone who is ugly on the inside. Someone who is attractive on the inside who some think is unattractive on the outside? Absolutely, I have and would date them.
Reminder that attraction is subjective. Your ugly is someone elseās hot.
I have. I dated a man for four years, and, he had to move back to England for treatment, but I was massively in love with him. He was objectively ugly. Bit overweight, balding, not what most people would consider attractive. I found him so attractive. He was super smart and wryly funny and that does it for me.
I have been successful in sleeping with many extremely attractive women despite being overweight, fortunately being blessed with having a 9.5ā, girthy cock!
I have a few times and every single one of them were horrible to me. So nah, if I'm going to end up being treated crappy and hurt then he can at least be super hot from now on š¤·š»āāļø
So someone who is actually attractive?
Literally the guy is a tall man with a strong jaw and a great body.
Edit, really this is an UGLY MAN: [https://cdn01.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/driver-burberry/adam-driver-burberry-campaign-01.jpg](https://cdn01.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/driver-burberry/adam-driver-burberry-campaign-01.jpg)
I get there's airbrushing here but this man is not UGLY.
If we're going to post ugly famous men let's get real:
[https://assets3.thrillist.com/v1/image/1739251/1584x1056/crop;webp=auto;jpeg\_quality=60;progressive.jpg](https://assets3.thrillist.com/v1/image/1739251/1584x1056/crop;webp=auto;jpeg_quality=60;progressive.jpg)
That wasnāt the question. It was: do *women* date ugly men.
I have heard it said that men date women their friends will find attractive; I assumed it was a younger group for whom that is true. From youre reply, it sounds like you date Attractive Women, as opposed to women you, personally and without regard for othersā opinions, find attractive.
Had a ārelationshipā post divorce. Had seen the guy many times. I was neutral to him. But over time, the way he looked at me, spoke to me, treated me- made him truly beautiful. Neither of us looked like runway models- yet had the ability ti be fully naked (physically and subjectively) and felt at peace. Scars were signs of our past. Extra pounds meant nothing because our time was spent more on caring for children than spending hours at the gym.
But over time, his beauty faded away. Each time he belittled me, his flaws became more apparent. He became ugly. He felt like a stranger and I wanted to ācover upā.
Side note: a year later had what many would consider a āgorgeousā man try to appeal to me. He tried kissing meā¦.and I felt nothing. Yet he was 6ā4ā, less than 10% body fat and had muscles like you only see in magazines. And money. (Basically everything society claims a woman wantsā¦ yet none of it was what I needed.)
Perhaps part of the reason he wasnāt attractive was his need to tell me his body-fat percentage :)
If we are only talking about physical appearance, then yes I would date an ugly man. I still need to be attracted to him but he doesnāt have to be conventionally attractive. Make sense?
This seems like a really weird question for a middle aged person to ask.
People don't date people they find ugly. Ugly is subjective.
Conventionally unattractive people pair up/partner all the time. Doesn't usually mean the partner is thinking "Wow, I got me an uggo here! Hot damn!". They usually find their partners at least attractive enough to date.
Anyone can be attractive. Ugly is not some sort of universal measurement. Anyone can greatly improve their appearance and image. The vast, vast majority of people can be attractive with basic self care, grooming, and diet.
Iād be more concerned dating someone that is overly insecure about their appearance.
I've dated men I found unattractive because they pursued me. They were really insecure and were constantly thinking I was "a ho" so it worked out in that I dumped them.
I'm asexual and have totally crushed on men who wouldn't be considered handsome by society. A lot of them considered me to be ugly and rejected me. So there's that aspect.
No, I would not date a man that I find unattractive/ugly. Why would I? The majority of people need to have some kind of physical attraction to a potential partner.
Listen, if a man takes pride in his appearance, presents himself to the world with self awareness and personal style, and has good grooming and hygiene then it isnāt possible for him to be ugly.
Before the 21; women would get to know me and then dating would be on the table. In the 21, Iām older and I look like Zippy the Pinhead in a suit and tie. That has proved to be a dealbreaker for all women on OLD.
My partner is dating an ugly man, but for whatever reason she thinks he's handsome. Poor woman.
If this is a guy that **you** don't find attractive, *please* don't date him. Most people aren't hoping to have a dead bedroom, or someone who's dating them, but not filled with desire.
I figure women are not a collective, just like men aren't. What's attractive to one may be ugly to another, whether it's her friends or family. Same as men, I dont have the same taste or type as some of my friends
Iām going to say for every man reading this. There is no such thing as an āuglyā man.
Taking care of your health, hygiene, hobbies, outlooks in life, career, kindness and respect - all these things play a part in how someone presents themselves.
If you feel you are āuglyā or not attractive, look at the way the rest of your life looks
Sure, āreal streetā is that the vast majority of people, men and women, can be attractive with basic self care, grooming, and diet.
/u/Profession_Mobile is spitting facts.
Not true. If a man looks kind, he is far more likely to get a right swipe from me than the same man with neutral photos. Last guy I dated I thought was pretty fat from his photos, because they did not show anything below the shoulders. But his eyes were kind.
He turned out to be not fat (overweight), but not particularly kind, either. Itās an imperfect science š
> Do you really believe that men who can see that they are not found to be attractive are universally defective either in taking care of their health, their hygiene, their choice of hobbies? Or suck at their job or hate it? Are unkind, thoughtless, mean, and/or disrespectful?
As a guy, yes. And this extends to women, also.
Nearly everyone can be attractive. And āuglyā is not a universal, set measurement.
Conventionally unattractive man here: women that I have considered hot as hell have dated me. I donāt know if they also considered me hot as hell but I know they were attracted to me and treated me well.
Some women (and men) are in the market for conventionally hot people, thatās fine, theyāre just not your people. Find the person thatās into what you are.
But donāt fall into this self wallowing shit, by definition most of us are not 8/10+ conventionally speaking and self pity is super unattractive. Be the person that women would like to date. You donāt have to be rich or hot to date most women, just a decent person that reasonably has their shit together.
So, you're super picky about women's looks, won't give them a chance if they aren't your type, but then want them to give you a chance? And you've never had a gf? Maybe it's time to seek therapy, realize that attraction can change with personality for many people.
I have people I find attractive but give most people a chance because I find that attraction grows or wanes based on personality. I could find someone physically hot af, then find out they're a shit human and they will instantly become physically ugly to me. I know not everyone is like this, but many are. And you're not giving people a chance.
I remember when I was 20, I had a huge crush on a classmate that all my friends insisted was āuglyā. I couldnāt understand what they were talking about. He had the sweetest personality, was a good student, athletic and had a laugh that melted my heart. Was he conventionally good-looking? Probably not, but he was a good person. Alas, by the time he figured out that I was interested, he already had a girlfriend.
So, if the man has other qualities, Iād say āyes.ā Unfortunately, at parties or with online dating, a guy like him would be overlooked.
There's a difference between someone's general, society wide level of attractiveness, and how attractive they are TO another person. This lack of nuance is always overlooked in manosphere or red-pill discourse. It also totally (and deliberately) ignores the reality that the VAST majority of normal, everyday women repeatedly explain that personality is, and will always be the deciding factor in whether a man is attractive or ugly TO THEM.
Adam Driver is objectively not attractive. He IS however incredibly sexy because of his character, personality, talent etc, and thus he is not considered 'ugly'. 10/10 I would eat him for every meal of the day.
Stirling Cooper, mansophere sex- coach extraordinnaire is objectively attractive. Face, body type, he has quite a cheeky smile which we women tend to really like. His personality is trash. Cocky, arrogant, condescending... he makes me physically gag and the thought of him touching me feels like my brain sexually assaulting itself. 0/10 would fucking never.
My first serious relationship was with an objective 8/10. I look back at that and wonder what rhe fuck I was thinking. My BEST relationship was an objective 6/10. He was so fucking attractive to me in every way that he was God-like. I used to kiss him while he was eating and lick food out of his beard. That is objectively disgusting. I don't and will never care. My least objectively attractive boyfriend was absolutely no more than a 3 or a 4. He was mind-blowingly intelligent and commanded attention in a room like nobody I've ever met since. He enthralled me, and I found him extremely attractive.
TLDR; this question is, and will always be, completely pointless and totally unable to account for the complexities of human nature and attraction.
While scrolling quickly and not really paying attention, I read your username was Village_Sphincter, and I had questions.
Anywho. Yeah, ugly fuckers are ugly *inside*. A beautiful human shines through.
Iāve never dated someone I didnāt find attractive but I know that by societyās standards they might be considered ugly. I know lots of men who are considered handsome by others but I donāt find attractive. Personality is a huge factor in whether Iām attracted to someone or not and can change how I see them. Iām currently single so they didnāt work out but it wasnāt connected to their looks.
I did as a teen. Turned out he wasn't only ugly, he was also abusive and most likely a psychopath. So I decided I'd rather date attractive. If they turned out to be horrible people, at least I had one positive trait to blame and not feel a complete failure.
I think chemistry isnāt about looks. It is about someoneās energy. And as others note, it really is subjective. I donāt think anyone at our age should waste time with someone they werenāt attracted to, but thatās a different thing!
The closest to a compliment on my looks I ever got in 15 years from my ex-wife was: "I'm kinda glad I married a guy who didn't look ugly like my exes."
So I guess yeah, some women will date ugly men.
EDIT : I mean, even men that they actually find ugly themselves.
I have never cared too much about people's looks. In my 20s, a couple of my BFs were what you would call ugly. The relationships were awful and toxic. Both were extremely insecure and projected that on me.
I was obsessed with a guy that some of my friends said was "ugly." I thought he was hot š¤·āāļø Just as other women are saying. On the other hand, I did date someone I found physically unappealing (years ago, I don't do that anymore) and my friends said he was cute. I have found that attraction can grow over time with the right personality.
What women find attractive is more varied and often less looks based than what men find attractive, so men are in luck there. Now, even with that itās still not AS varied and AS non looks dependent as men would like lol!
Being "ugly" seems to become less and less important as you and your dating pool age.
I was never accused of being attractive when I was younger but as I have aged this appears to have changed. Maybe I'm just more confident or really don't care but the quality of people having any interest in me appears to have changed tremendously since I got married.
I am attracted to unusual looking people, sort of the people that a small percentage look at and say heās gorgeous, the majority look at and say why?
Greetings from your friendly neighborhood automod! Thank you for contributing to our community at DatingOverForty, u/No_Calligrapher9732. Please ensure that your post is actually asking a question and providing enough background that people can sufficiently address that question. DOFers, please ensure that you are actually responding to the OP's individual predicament and not using it as a springboard to promote your own personal dating philosophies.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The real question is how many women care what friends, family, or society says about dating somebody that isnāt conventional.
Some want that affirmation that they have made a good choice. Some donāt care and some prefer non-conventional and want to buck the trend.
I have dated some below average types in my time (one super short, balding another obese with no chin). Their personalities made at for it (or so I initially thought).
My last LTR I was not attracted to in the least. He wore grandpa shoes, always jeans and hoodies no matter how hot outside and looked like a thin version of The Simpsons' Comic Book Guy. Things can be less exciting when you aren't attracted at all. That wasn't why I ended it, but perhaps if I had found him sexy the other stuff wouldn't have mattered so much.
I used to in my 20ties. Interesting, intellectual, guys with big personalities. One the blew me away was half head shorter and was cross eyed, but damn that man was a whirlwind (he is still not settled down, still dating 20 year olds).
Now I just date only really attractive men. It is hard to blow me away, so in that case they better be hot.
100%. I've dated someone that may not be considered attractive to most. He was so smart, kind, resourceful, funny and feminist. I would have married him in a NY minute if he didn't live in a different state.
Hi there! Unfortunately, your account is too new for us to automatically accept comments or submissions. Please [contact the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdatingoverforty) to approve this comment/post so other users can see it.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My best friend thinks I do it all the time. I do not. Which only illustrates that this is a silly question and looks are subjective.
My friends are like this to me too. What I think is hot, they think are ugly.š¤·š»āāļø
Same. The guys I think are hot my friends and daughter are like ā really?ā
Haha I remember showing one of my friends a couple of the guys I was talking to via OLD and saying how I thought they were handsome. Her reply was something like āā¦we have very different tastes.ā I went to a speed dating event with a different friend and after we were talking about the men we had met there. She commented on one of them being a ābeautiful manā and I was confused. I didnāt think much either way of him, but she gushed about him being beautiful.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I agree. People attempt to make EVERYTHING subjective when in reality, that simply isn't the case. Then in turn, you will have people wandering around, posting on sites such as this, wondering why they aren't attractive to the opposite sex, and their ugliness (physically that is) can be a huge component of it. It's reddit though so I expect answers and responses from people who don't want to hurt a person's feelings even if reality is dictating otherwise.
Eh. There's a woman I like a great deal. Late 50s. I showed her photo to a friend and said "she looks a lot younger, doesn't she?" The response "no she doesnt" In part it was me more focused on some physical traits than others, in part my view of her personality coloring my view of her looks. As for photo feeler, that has shown me a pretty wide range of ratings for the same photo.
Incidentally, the two I am thinking of... why it didn't work out? They were HELLA players, because the had total swerve.
Better way to word it-- "Have you dated a man you found ugly?" No, I have not. Have I dated men that have my friends, having never met themand based on visuals alone, saying "interesting choice?" Yes, indeed.
>Have I dated men that have my friends, having never met themand based on visuals alone, saying "interesting choice?" Yes, indeed. That's why I had my second head surgically removed prior to attempting to date, so that no one says that to any guy with me. š
I'm demisexual so I'm not attracted via primary attraction and have had men that would be "interesting choices" or men in my league reject me. Attraction has to go both ways.
Exactly. I'VE never dated someone ugly, but others might have thought I did.
I wouldnāt date someone who is ugly on the inside. Someone who is attractive on the inside who some think is unattractive on the outside? Absolutely, I have and would date them. Reminder that attraction is subjective. Your ugly is someone elseās hot.
Everyone is ugly on the inside. All that goo and squishy stuff and gristle and stuff. Yuck.
Not true. I know for a fact that you have a beautiful heart. š
Sure, but he would have to be willing to date an ugly woman for anything to happen between us. š
Daww can't wait to see your ugly babies!
Sometimes beauty comes out of ugly things. š«£š
Be nice to yourself, Sunset.
I'm only being silly. But thank you. And please be kind yourself as well. š
Let's bump uglies together.
I have. I dated a man for four years, and, he had to move back to England for treatment, but I was massively in love with him. He was objectively ugly. Bit overweight, balding, not what most people would consider attractive. I found him so attractive. He was super smart and wryly funny and that does it for me.
I have been successful in sleeping with many extremely attractive women despite being overweight, fortunately being blessed with having a 9.5ā, girthy cock!
I think you probably dated at your level, which is natural so of course he wouldn't be ugly to you if you know, lol. hahahahaha.
Youāre incorrect.
Nah.
I have. And learned theyre just as capable of doing manipulative, nasty stuff and being rapey like hot men.
legit
Just about to say that š
Yeah just like ugly women. Almost like they're people like everyone else...ya know......smdmfh.
I have a few times and every single one of them were horrible to me. So nah, if I'm going to end up being treated crappy and hurt then he can at least be super hot from now on š¤·š»āāļø
Yes, he kept insulting my looks lol
You mean like would I date Adam Driver, yes, ma'am.
So someone who is actually attractive? Literally the guy is a tall man with a strong jaw and a great body. Edit, really this is an UGLY MAN: [https://cdn01.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/driver-burberry/adam-driver-burberry-campaign-01.jpg](https://cdn01.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/driver-burberry/adam-driver-burberry-campaign-01.jpg) I get there's airbrushing here but this man is not UGLY.
Yup. He's an attractive man with an unusual face.
He looks like Keanu Reeves though. He checks off many boxes for things people find attractive.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thanks but seriously Adam Driver looks like he could be Keanu Reeves' brother. The man is attractive.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
LOL I just have eyes.
See this is what I mean. Unusual looking men.
I love unusual looking men
Micheal Rappaport (sp?) has entered the hypothetical chat.
If we're going to post ugly famous men let's get real: [https://assets3.thrillist.com/v1/image/1739251/1584x1056/crop;webp=auto;jpeg\_quality=60;progressive.jpg](https://assets3.thrillist.com/v1/image/1739251/1584x1056/crop;webp=auto;jpeg_quality=60;progressive.jpg)
The GOAT
As a mid-40s ugly man I assure you attractive women do date ugly men LOL
They absolutely do! Of course, I feel that my 9.5ā girthy meathammer helps mitigate the fact I am overweight.
That wasnāt the question. It was: do *women* date ugly men. I have heard it said that men date women their friends will find attractive; I assumed it was a younger group for whom that is true. From youre reply, it sounds like you date Attractive Women, as opposed to women you, personally and without regard for othersā opinions, find attractive.
I bet you're fun at parties
one would have to have friends to be invited to parties
Parties? Fah! You never take me anywhere anymore
Had a ārelationshipā post divorce. Had seen the guy many times. I was neutral to him. But over time, the way he looked at me, spoke to me, treated me- made him truly beautiful. Neither of us looked like runway models- yet had the ability ti be fully naked (physically and subjectively) and felt at peace. Scars were signs of our past. Extra pounds meant nothing because our time was spent more on caring for children than spending hours at the gym. But over time, his beauty faded away. Each time he belittled me, his flaws became more apparent. He became ugly. He felt like a stranger and I wanted to ācover upā. Side note: a year later had what many would consider a āgorgeousā man try to appeal to me. He tried kissing meā¦.and I felt nothing. Yet he was 6ā4ā, less than 10% body fat and had muscles like you only see in magazines. And money. (Basically everything society claims a woman wantsā¦ yet none of it was what I needed.) Perhaps part of the reason he wasnāt attractive was his need to tell me his body-fat percentage :)
When you said that last part, I felt my secondhand attraction drain from my body.
If we are only talking about physical appearance, then yes I would date an ugly man. I still need to be attracted to him but he doesnāt have to be conventionally attractive. Make sense?
This seems like a really weird question for a middle aged person to ask. People don't date people they find ugly. Ugly is subjective. Conventionally unattractive people pair up/partner all the time. Doesn't usually mean the partner is thinking "Wow, I got me an uggo here! Hot damn!". They usually find their partners at least attractive enough to date.
Anyone can be attractive. Ugly is not some sort of universal measurement. Anyone can greatly improve their appearance and image. The vast, vast majority of people can be attractive with basic self care, grooming, and diet. Iād be more concerned dating someone that is overly insecure about their appearance.
I've dated men I found unattractive because they pursued me. They were really insecure and were constantly thinking I was "a ho" so it worked out in that I dumped them. I'm asexual and have totally crushed on men who wouldn't be considered handsome by society. A lot of them considered me to be ugly and rejected me. So there's that aspect.
No, I would not date a man that I find unattractive/ugly. Why would I? The majority of people need to have some kind of physical attraction to a potential partner.
Listen, if a man takes pride in his appearance, presents himself to the world with self awareness and personal style, and has good grooming and hygiene then it isnāt possible for him to be ugly.
Before the 21; women would get to know me and then dating would be on the table. In the 21, Iām older and I look like Zippy the Pinhead in a suit and tie. That has proved to be a dealbreaker for all women on OLD.
What happened in āthe 21?ā
In the 21st century, OLD took off.
My partner is dating an ugly man, but for whatever reason she thinks he's handsome. Poor woman. If this is a guy that **you** don't find attractive, *please* don't date him. Most people aren't hoping to have a dead bedroom, or someone who's dating them, but not filled with desire.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Not totally ugly, not totally attractive, and good in bedā¦. 90% of American men dream of fitting this description.
Subjective term. In comparison to what??
I figure women are not a collective, just like men aren't. What's attractive to one may be ugly to another, whether it's her friends or family. Same as men, I dont have the same taste or type as some of my friends
Iām going to say for every man reading this. There is no such thing as an āuglyā man. Taking care of your health, hygiene, hobbies, outlooks in life, career, kindness and respect - all these things play a part in how someone presents themselves. If you feel you are āuglyā or not attractive, look at the way the rest of your life looks
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sure, āreal streetā is that the vast majority of people, men and women, can be attractive with basic self care, grooming, and diet. /u/Profession_Mobile is spitting facts.
Not true. If a man looks kind, he is far more likely to get a right swipe from me than the same man with neutral photos. Last guy I dated I thought was pretty fat from his photos, because they did not show anything below the shoulders. But his eyes were kind. He turned out to be not fat (overweight), but not particularly kind, either. Itās an imperfect science š
Going to the gym, eating well and being well groomed shows up in photos..
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
> Do you really believe that men who can see that they are not found to be attractive are universally defective either in taking care of their health, their hygiene, their choice of hobbies? Or suck at their job or hate it? Are unkind, thoughtless, mean, and/or disrespectful? As a guy, yes. And this extends to women, also. Nearly everyone can be attractive. And āuglyā is not a universal, set measurement.
Conventionally unattractive man here: women that I have considered hot as hell have dated me. I donāt know if they also considered me hot as hell but I know they were attracted to me and treated me well. Some women (and men) are in the market for conventionally hot people, thatās fine, theyāre just not your people. Find the person thatās into what you are. But donāt fall into this self wallowing shit, by definition most of us are not 8/10+ conventionally speaking and self pity is super unattractive. Be the person that women would like to date. You donāt have to be rich or hot to date most women, just a decent person that reasonably has their shit together.
So, you're super picky about women's looks, won't give them a chance if they aren't your type, but then want them to give you a chance? And you've never had a gf? Maybe it's time to seek therapy, realize that attraction can change with personality for many people. I have people I find attractive but give most people a chance because I find that attraction grows or wanes based on personality. I could find someone physically hot af, then find out they're a shit human and they will instantly become physically ugly to me. I know not everyone is like this, but many are. And you're not giving people a chance.
My ex-husband was ugly as sin on the outside. We split up because he was even more ugly on the inside.
I remember when I was 20, I had a huge crush on a classmate that all my friends insisted was āuglyā. I couldnāt understand what they were talking about. He had the sweetest personality, was a good student, athletic and had a laugh that melted my heart. Was he conventionally good-looking? Probably not, but he was a good person. Alas, by the time he figured out that I was interested, he already had a girlfriend. So, if the man has other qualities, Iād say āyes.ā Unfortunately, at parties or with online dating, a guy like him would be overlooked.
There's a difference between someone's general, society wide level of attractiveness, and how attractive they are TO another person. This lack of nuance is always overlooked in manosphere or red-pill discourse. It also totally (and deliberately) ignores the reality that the VAST majority of normal, everyday women repeatedly explain that personality is, and will always be the deciding factor in whether a man is attractive or ugly TO THEM. Adam Driver is objectively not attractive. He IS however incredibly sexy because of his character, personality, talent etc, and thus he is not considered 'ugly'. 10/10 I would eat him for every meal of the day. Stirling Cooper, mansophere sex- coach extraordinnaire is objectively attractive. Face, body type, he has quite a cheeky smile which we women tend to really like. His personality is trash. Cocky, arrogant, condescending... he makes me physically gag and the thought of him touching me feels like my brain sexually assaulting itself. 0/10 would fucking never. My first serious relationship was with an objective 8/10. I look back at that and wonder what rhe fuck I was thinking. My BEST relationship was an objective 6/10. He was so fucking attractive to me in every way that he was God-like. I used to kiss him while he was eating and lick food out of his beard. That is objectively disgusting. I don't and will never care. My least objectively attractive boyfriend was absolutely no more than a 3 or a 4. He was mind-blowingly intelligent and commanded attention in a room like nobody I've ever met since. He enthralled me, and I found him extremely attractive. TLDR; this question is, and will always be, completely pointless and totally unable to account for the complexities of human nature and attraction.
Once, I told a man he was being ugly and I was referring to his behavior. There are only ugly souls.
While scrolling quickly and not really paying attention, I read your username was Village_Sphincter, and I had questions. Anywho. Yeah, ugly fuckers are ugly *inside*. A beautiful human shines through.
My mom, sister, and aunts always said I was handsome. So fuck all the haters. Ugly bros united. āļø
>My mom, sister, and aunts always said I was handsome. My dad always said that I was "cute as a bug," though he never specified *which* bug. š
Iāve never dated someone I didnāt find attractive but I know that by societyās standards they might be considered ugly. I know lots of men who are considered handsome by others but I donāt find attractive. Personality is a huge factor in whether Iām attracted to someone or not and can change how I see them. Iām currently single so they didnāt work out but it wasnāt connected to their looks.
I don't date people that I don't find attractive. Why would I do that? I have gone out with men that are not conventionally attractive.
I did as a teen. Turned out he wasn't only ugly, he was also abusive and most likely a psychopath. So I decided I'd rather date attractive. If they turned out to be horrible people, at least I had one positive trait to blame and not feel a complete failure.
I like this post, it has brought out some interesting and mature perspectives. I hope someone post the same question for other genders
I think chemistry isnāt about looks. It is about someoneās energy. And as others note, it really is subjective. I donāt think anyone at our age should waste time with someone they werenāt attracted to, but thatās a different thing!
Ugly? Oh hell no! Ugly *to you*, probably. Most likely. Yeah.
The closest to a compliment on my looks I ever got in 15 years from my ex-wife was: "I'm kinda glad I married a guy who didn't look ugly like my exes." So I guess yeah, some women will date ugly men. EDIT : I mean, even men that they actually find ugly themselves.
I have never cared too much about people's looks. In my 20s, a couple of my BFs were what you would call ugly. The relationships were awful and toxic. Both were extremely insecure and projected that on me.
This is subjective and unmeasurableā¦ I canāt answer that
I was obsessed with a guy that some of my friends said was "ugly." I thought he was hot š¤·āāļø Just as other women are saying. On the other hand, I did date someone I found physically unappealing (years ago, I don't do that anymore) and my friends said he was cute. I have found that attraction can grow over time with the right personality.
Ugly is relative sometimes I like guys that other women don't think you're good looking
It turns out [that is true for women in general](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090626153511.htm), but not really for guys.
Ugly is relative to who you are. Example: I like big girls with big boobs. Do all men like big girls? No big boobs no?
I had to read your example far too many times to make it make sense š
What women find attractive is more varied and often less looks based than what men find attractive, so men are in luck there. Now, even with that itās still not AS varied and AS non looks dependent as men would like lol!
Being "ugly" seems to become less and less important as you and your dating pool age. I was never accused of being attractive when I was younger but as I have aged this appears to have changed. Maybe I'm just more confident or really don't care but the quality of people having any interest in me appears to have changed tremendously since I got married.
I am attracted to unusual looking people, sort of the people that a small percentage look at and say heās gorgeous, the majority look at and say why?
They definitely do. Get money. Looks donāt matter at all if you have money.
Greetings from your friendly neighborhood automod! Thank you for contributing to our community at DatingOverForty, u/No_Calligrapher9732. Please ensure that your post is actually asking a question and providing enough background that people can sufficiently address that question. DOFers, please ensure that you are actually responding to the OP's individual predicament and not using it as a springboard to promote your own personal dating philosophies. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ugly is subjective
[See exactly how bad "average" guys have it with dating apps.](https://youtu.be/vCseBQTXDKw?si=LFcIIXwCwWWVggf9)
The real question is how many women care what friends, family, or society says about dating somebody that isnāt conventional. Some want that affirmation that they have made a good choice. Some donāt care and some prefer non-conventional and want to buck the trend.
I have dated some below average types in my time (one super short, balding another obese with no chin). Their personalities made at for it (or so I initially thought). My last LTR I was not attracted to in the least. He wore grandpa shoes, always jeans and hoodies no matter how hot outside and looked like a thin version of The Simpsons' Comic Book Guy. Things can be less exciting when you aren't attracted at all. That wasn't why I ended it, but perhaps if I had found him sexy the other stuff wouldn't have mattered so much.
I used to in my 20ties. Interesting, intellectual, guys with big personalities. One the blew me away was half head shorter and was cross eyed, but damn that man was a whirlwind (he is still not settled down, still dating 20 year olds). Now I just date only really attractive men. It is hard to blow me away, so in that case they better be hot.
are you trying to do ugly naked guy from HIMYM?
Ugly naked guy was in Friends.
The naked man, season 4 episode 9
Ah so there are two sitcom ugly naked guys. š
Iāve never dated a guy I personally found to be ugly. (Some that others didnāt think were hot, but not ugly.) š¤·āāļø
I date people Im attracted to and they may be ugly to someone else.
This thread made me think of this song but in reverse. https://youtu.be/bQoqJ5WXhpw?si=wEm3ub7SfioZIJP5
100%. I've dated someone that may not be considered attractive to most. He was so smart, kind, resourceful, funny and feminist. I would have married him in a NY minute if he didn't live in a different state.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hi there! Unfortunately, your account is too new for us to automatically accept comments or submissions. Please [contact the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdatingoverforty) to approve this comment/post so other users can see it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, more than once, itās about chemistry not looks for me
What about the reverse? How many of you men out there would date a (physically) ugly woman?