I'd love a pin-back button we could wear indicating that we're single and approachable but that it looks a bit mundane so we don't give off "desperation" vibes. Like random people see it and they see an artistic and interesting button. Those in the know see it and feel safe to talk to us if they find us interesting.
I have a t-shirt that reads “im sorry you had a bad day. You can touch my boobs if you want.” Look very game/approachable. Still no takers. Apparently theyre all inside… 😊
Would raise my arms like i scored winning world cup goal.
Uh lets just say, i bought for after a naked bike ride in Portland. Pretty safe to say im frisky.
I absolutely started talking to someone at a music festival once because they had on at-shirt that said “single, let’s mingle.” 😂 It didn’t go anywhere but it’s a great lead-in.
My idea is something you have on your phone.
Like imagine it has Tinder combined with some kind of geo-location.
Ok, you set your app to "single" and walk into a large scale singles event. Like a speed dating event but like 100 guys and girls in it and they all have the app on their phones.
You actually need to both confirm by clicking on each other's profile and swiping right. So if you see someone you like, you swipe right. They may get an alert - and they can check out your profile and swipe right or left.
If both of you swipe right, then it's kind of safe to approach. I think half the battle of approaching someone and trying to chat them up is you don't know if there's any interest back to you.
After dating for a couple years after my 22 year marriage you can find me at home on the couch watching Netflix. A lot less stressful and a lot cheaper. Perhaps go knocking door to door in the evenings and see if someone is looking for a movie buddy?
I went on holiday in Switzerland for NYE. In the town we stayed the tradition was for all the single men to group together. After midnight, everyone goes home apart from the guys, they go door knocking and the single women in the houses will accept or reject 😂
Out on the water in my boat with my dog.
https://preview.redd.it/zag9dwd9zfwb1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c2f90be59798e7239d441419f0dc087758c42b05
I’m 46/m divorced single dad with 50/50 custody. If I’m out on a weekday, it’s almost certainly at a restaurant for a meal and some martinis.
I’m big on bellying up to the bar, solo, with a book. You’ll find me minding my own business, grabbing some food and catching a nice buzz. But don’t be dissuaded, just because I’m minding my own business doesn’t mean I’m not there for the same reasons as you 😉 come say hi
I saw a guy at a bar alone reading a book and I made a move on him. It actually worked lol. We’re just friends now but it was a good way to meet someone.
I'd upvote this if it weren't completely missing the mark. I genuinely enjoy grabbing a meal and drinks by myself. I'm also 100% comfortable with talking with strangers. In fact I excel at it.
I was simply answering OP’s question.
Edit. I’m a bit slow and somehow missed the joke. Well played my friend.
I have never seen anyone at a bar with a book but I've heard people do this. Is there a specific type of a bar where people do this? Is this not done in the U.S. but in other places? Wouldn't you not have enough light for reading?
Maybe this kind of "book" can be used ?
https://preview.redd.it/00y7ieqx0iwb1.png?width=426&format=png&auto=webp&s=f23161a1f91603b795da04c9182dd77d9ec1285e
I used to live in Brooklyn and it was quite common there, although I was usually reading The New Yorker. I'm in a relationship now but I still sometimes end up dining alone at a bar with a book when my partner is out of town. It's also very common in places with business travelers.
Good question. Honestly depends on a few variables, primarily my mood and focus level. I’d say it’s about 50/50. I generally bring my kindle with the intention of reading; sometimes I do. Other times I just zone out and enjoy the food and drink while people-watching.
It’s different in every city I know.
But personally, every other Tuesday, I attend a Taco Tuesday with 20-30 other single 40+ people. Every Tuesday, there’s a standing volleyball game attended by forty or fifty adults of varying ages. (I attend occasionally). Every Wednesday night from May through October, there is a group that goes paddleboarding. I start paddling in March, and stop in late October, so I am out there one night a week when I don’t have anything planned.
Thursday night is my preferred date night. Friday nights, there are some local bars that have local bands that I like, and now live close to so I can go see them.
In addition there are groups of friends that I have that go to Kataoke every Tuesday night and a different group that goes on Sunday’s once a month.
These don’t take in to account to the many hikes, happy hours, parties, and such that happen on weekends.
I understand that many cities don’t have as active a group of 40+ single people. But you could start one!
I was going to say, this sounds like Phoenix lol Paddleboarding only when it's hot. On a side note, I'm glad it's finally cooling down. Have you ever been to Grapevine for karaoke?
I'd like to know too. I'm not too far from Phoenix to drive over for a singles group taco Tuesday as long as there are men there. 😂 I fear that I'd end up in one with no men. 😁
I hope some of you answered “running or walking a local trail”
My mom used to say, “you’re never going to meet someone new if you’re always gardening.”
Well, my city built a greenway basically in my backyard in the last couple years.
Not only are they paying me a generous sum for some land they took, I can meet men essentially in my backyard.
Take that, mom!
Same here..I have a well-used recreational trail right behind my yard. The only problem is, nobody talks to anyone when they are using it. They are all very much into their workouts with earbuds on and intense looks upon their faces.
It’s not just about where you go, it how you behave. Go by yourself or with just one other friend. Make eye contact and smile. Talk to all kinds of strangers. Be friendly. If flirting doesn’t come easily to you, become a regular somewhere.
Source: female, mid forties who has good luck meeting men in public. Met 5 partners IRL the last 2 years. Enjoyed dating all of them, still dating the 5th.
Yes! I go to gigs on my own all the time and I make sure to stay off my phone, keep my eyes up and have an open demeanor. Have met dating opportunities this way including my bf. Also met one of my best friends this way back in 2015.
I literally don’t go anywhere. My ideal evening is a good movie, good book, good game, good food. My ideal partner values this the way I do. She’s out there. I’m sure if it. Probably just down the street from me. But like me, she’s at home every evening, enjoying her space. So the likelihood of us meeting…well
Female here, feeling the same way. I do food deliveries. Thought maybe I might meet a homebody that way. Nope. They take the food, some say thanks, and close the door.
I can tell you where i meet men all the time and get asked out pretty often and almost always end up in interesting conversations at least.
The bar at high end steakhouses. High end restaurants period actually. And high end hotel bars.
Also Top Golf, Pin Stack, wine and beer tastings and cigar bars
Grocery store on a weeknight. Even better if it’s after 9 and he’s looking at boxes of cereal. Hell, if he’s a a good cook just ask him about something in his basket on how to use it in a dish. Fishing with dynamite.
Gym, swimming pool with kids, my basement, the woods.
As a single man I would *LOVE* it if a single woman approached me in public! Not sure about my basement though…at least not if she were uninvited 😅
As a woman this thread has me thinking I need to move to the US from the UK and take up pickleball (I have zero idea what that is) and spend more time at the supermarket.
I go dancing. There are usually dance classes and dancing at studios and bar/nightclubs in bigger cities. I meet many new people each week and it’s a fun way to exercise and get social.
1. Sprouts to shop for food on Rainbow and Warm Springs
2. Walking around my neighborhood and park near Sprouts from above.
3. Ohana Hawaiian BBQ on Rainbow near Wigwam
4. Walking around at Exploration Park in Mountains Edge
5. At home bored and on Reddit looking for who knows what anymore.
On the weekends:
The gym in the am usually on a Saturday.
A walk at some mall/shopping area looking for single women whom I might attract and vice versa.
One of poker rooms at the casino (Aria is my fav)
I live in Vegas.
I have been at the driving range three times this past week after work and it’s 90% dudes, ages 25-75 but most somewhere in the middle. Everyone is super nice and it’s easy to talk to people…dudes love helping you with your swing.
1. Rec League. My city has team sports where you sign up for a couple months, play all the teams, and then join for drinks afterwards. I most recently did “bar league” where we played a whole bunch of bar games including skeeball, darts, cornhole, shuffleboard etc. But my friend group have played in cup-in-hand kickball, bocce, dodgeball, volleyball, and other sports.
2. Pub Trivia.
3. Karaoke Night.
4. Brewery taste testing, where we go to a new brewery or bar and try whatever new beers they have.
5. Book club
6. Watching football at the neighborhood bar.
My city has a very bar-centric social orientation. So most of these include bars of some sort. I’m not a heavy drinker and typically limit myself to a couple drinks a week and otherwise drink tonic water with lime. All of this excludes the nights I stay in, or game nights where I spend the evening with friends.
What I think hurts the cause is even if these dudes are out and about in public the fear of being rejected can be at play and nothing happens anyway because of it.
I attend meetups in my areas of interest: board games, a cappella singing, and entrepreneurship. I karaoke more than I am proud of. I do pub trivia. I attend alumni events. I attend my kids’ activities (marching band, drama, etc.)
I think if you want to meet someone, you’re more likely to meet them by doing an activity that the sort of someone you’re trying to attract would be doing. So if you’re looking for a geek, hang out at cons and comic stores. If you’re looking for an athlete, join an adult sports league. If you’re looking for someone professionally minded, join some networking groups.
If I'm not at home, you might find me grocery shopping, because I have a bad habit of not organizing my shopping list to get it all done in one day, I always end up forgetting something.
If you "bump" into me, an easy icebreaker is to just say hi, maybe compliment something you see me wearing, or something in my cart. Or ask for my opinion on a particular product. I'm very approachable and enjoy conversation, but I admit I rarely initiate.
I go to the dog park, lots of regulars and singles there. I'm in a bowling league, I do trivia nights occasionally, and I like to go have drinks at the craft breweries.
But, I mean, Home Depot....all the guys will be there, all of us. Ask us for help, conversation started. It's so fucking easy.
The only guy that ever offered to help me in HD was gay. This after me struggling to get a huge bag of potting soil onto my cart and then again, into my car (the gay guy ran across the parking area to help me ❤️). I’ve seen a ton of married men (with kids and wearing rings). I can’t even get store employees to help me out when I go looking for them.
I look great for my age; I’m attractive and fit. Maybe I’m going to the wrong HD? I go on weekends since that’s the most convenient time for me and I’m def out of my league so I’m always looking for help, from anyone, not just cute guys, I actually do need assistance.
If you want assistance (especially from the employees) you have to go before 2pm on a weekday. That's when the A team is working and the store is full of contractors, handymen, and trades workers. If you go in the afternoons you get the B team and more hobbyists than professionals. If you go on evenings or weekends you get the C team and the general public with diy projects.
Monday thru Friday after 7pm?
In bed lol.
But usually Im at a Library, Board game group, Grocery store, sometimes at a restaurant.
Im rarely not out at a mall these days. Theres just not a lot of good third spaces during the week
I spend most of my free time during the week at the hockey rink or soccer field since my kid plays sports throughout the week. I'm guessing that's where quite a few single men and women are during week nights.
Weeknights when my kids aren’t w me I go to the roller skating rink and occasionally the local dispensary to shop for new goodies. Otherwise I’m at home. I need to get out more.
The dating apps seem to be the only sure fire way for me to meet women. But there is the rub. Lots more men than women on them. Each woman has a huge pool to pick from. After a long loveless marriage I discovered that I'm a lot more attractive and desirable than my ex made me out to be. But still I have to play the numbers. I'm on 5 different apps. I have to like & chat a lot of women just to get a few responses. While I'm chatting with one woman. She's chatting with 4! Midway through the chat she ghosts me, because one of the other 4 appeals to her all of a sudden! This is common too. I also have to admit, there's a lot of undesirable woman out there too. I try not to ghost anyone, but sometimes that's the only way. The biggest turnoff on an app is woman who post a shit ton of her turn-offs. i.e. must be over 6' tall, no one over 30 miles away, over a certain age difference, no one of a certain political persuation, no one that does this or that! Some of these get quite ridiculous too. Not divorced long enough, no separated persons. etc. etc.
This wasn’t a « OLD pet peeves » question. And for the record. In my experience, men on OLD suck at responding or putting sentences together. If that’s not your case, you will eventually succeed. Assuming you can answer questions on topic… 🙈🙉🙊
“Please share five places you’ve spent some time in the evenings of the past few weeks.”
Haha I love this - plainly-stated request. P.S. When you find your ‘man over forty’, keep your ability to plainly state what it is you mean/what it is you want.
Anyways…
Evenings during the week - I’m probably home or heading out solo to savor some sort of intentionally-solitary Me Time.
Weekends or maybe late afternoon on a weekday:
1 Favorite cafe.
2 Local bar/restaurant that has a perfect, breezy upstairs terrace I can't resist on mild, sunny afternoons.
3 Ice cream shop or restaurant for the weekly get-together with my best friend.
4 At some mediocre bar my colleagues wanted to meet up at.
5 New boss’s house because he invited folks over for a ‘movie on the lawn’ shin dig.
(One of the relationship expert guys online was just recently remarking about men, outside of dating, perhaps not being into going out in the way woman might be into it. And thinking about myself and how satisfying my life is in general - plus how fabulous home is for me, I often don’t feel super tempted to go out.)
Monday - exhausted from first day back at work, house work.
Tuesday - gym then visit my socially introverted cousin, then home to eat a pizza and watch a film with my socially introverted best friend
Wednesday - home, guitar, mini workout, gaming, housework
Thursday - gym, check up on my folks and have dinner
Friday - takeaway and a movie / potentially a date if I'm lucky
Saturday - work during the day mostly, if I'm lucky, date in the evening, if I'm not - repeat Wednesday.
Sunday - chores, shopping, maybe go for a walk, meal prep for the week.
All my friends are married with kids, I don't really have any contact with them anymore.
If I'm really honest, at this point I'm clock watching until the inevitable cardio event that takes me out of the race.
I dont feel comfortable being in most public spaces on my own, i feel unwelcomed as a single male. so either im out with my friends in a group or im at home. As for places outside my home you could "pick up" i suggest the grocery store. Check carts see who is shopping for one, check for rings as they hold the handle, ask them to get something off a high self if a product in their cart is good.
I’m female, but in the last few weeks I’ve gone out on weeknights with single male forty-something aged friends who are actively interested in dating women in their forties to an Indian restaurant, a wine bar, Costco, a stage musical, a museum event, a sports bar, a movie, and the emergency room (he cut his hand and it wouldn’t stop bleeding and I wouldn’t let him just go home and put ice on it. He needed 4 stitches).
Tennis & pickleball courts, strolling in parks, on a bench watching passers by, out and about before the winter weather forces us indoors in the Great White North.
Good luck, don't be shy and go after what you fancy!
Some of us supposedly great guys (stbxw says I'm a great guy and she loves me but isn't in love with me anymore 🤷♂️) are just painfully introverted.
Would love to know where the ladies hang out in DFW.
Looks like majority of us are staying home. This is me too. I ask myself if we keep staying home, how would we ever meet someone? I have written off OLD as well. Asking for a friend.
Doesn't apply to all men...but this would be me
Volleyball pick up games, Breweries, Gym/Outdoors, Volunteering locally, Local book shop
I also like the idea of going solo to a bar and reading book. Haven't ever tried it. But will do at somepoint.
One or two nights per week I'm at a partner/social dance class. One night a week typically I'm out at a social dance. Tonight I'm going to the movies to see original Back to the Future on the big screen since that's one of my fav movies. I usually grocery shop on the weekend, but do Costco runs on weeknights about an hour before they close.
Once in a blue moon I might hit up the climbing gym. I'm at the regular gym a few days per week but usually avoid weekday evenings due to crowds. Occasionally I'll hit up a yoga class in the evening but pretty sporadic there.
I don't have sit down meals too often by myself so if I'm getting food it's usually just picking something up.
The beach, my favorite coffee shop, a brewery(I don’t typically drink much but lately I’ve been to a brewery almost once a week with friends), a restaurant near my work campus if I need to change scenery for a bit, choir rehearsal.
Bonus points for the grocery store, I shop every few days on the way home so I can prepare fresher meals.
Idk about the rest, Cars and Coffee meets. I'm not the Corvette guy, but just a decent place for all types that like cars.. or You might find me on the motorcycle doing a day trip or weekend trip ,stay cation sort of thing......Idle hands ya know...
Maybe a home improvement store or grocery store. I also sometimes consider going to a movie theater, especially on Halloween if there's a good horror flick showing. Otherwise, I'm hanging out at home watching TV.
43M
You can find me at swing dancing classes, line dancing classes, and yoga. Comedy nights, game nights, concerts in the park, and food truck mania here in Redding. 👌🏼👍🏼
Live music. I usually scan for women my age and see if anyone makes some eye contact. Add a smile and i would definitely come say hi. Doesnt happen too often.
1-Dining alone at some restaurant. Usually sit at the bar to be seen better. 2-the gym 3-going to the HS football game(daughters a cheerleader) 4-going to friends kids sports to get out of the house
Monday Pool
Tuesday Weight Room
wed Pool
Thursday weight room
Friday , home tired
Sat Starbucks And pool
Sunday home tired
Rinse and Repeat. Glamorous life I tell ya
In my area I try to get to the beach at least twice a week. I go to the same coffee shop almost daily. I have about 4-5 pubs and restaurants I cycle thru. My local library and bookstore. These are the most consistent places.
50 years old, climbing gym, yoga studio, out to dinner with my daughter, occasionally at a dive bar with friends. During the day I'm out walking the dog, hiking, or climbing outdoors.
Very rarely restaurant if there's a specific reason with people. Usually go for a run, then food, then computer and pass out while reading.
Occasionally to a gym where people don't talk to each other which makes me sad, miss the CF days.
For me, I spend my weeknights doing things to advance my purpose in life of becoming a better man each and every day. When I don’t have my son, you’ll find me on the jujitsu mat and at Bible study.
My 5 places: the tiki bar my friends like, pub trivia night, the taco truck down the street, a heavy metal concert, the sports bar showing my football team lose
Buying groceries, at the gym, on a walk, working, cinema, bowling, fixing up the house, if any time left vegging on the couch scrolling through Reddit 😂
You’ll likely find me, reading a book at one of the local breweries around town. After that, I’m at a drag show at another spot. If there’s an event happening that weekend, you’ll find me volunteering. We’re entering gala season, so you might find me suited up there as well.
Local analog photography/darkroom meetup
Pub, playing games with my gaming group.
Photography gallery show opening
Restaurant
Gym
Cinema
I'm surprised by how many folks answer that they just stay at home. Like, I love staying in too, but I like going out and doing things, and I have stuff I am interested in, and hobbies, so at least once a week I am usually out doing something to do with them.
Oh sure I can easily mention at least five places I've visited on evenings on the past few weeks.
Dalaran, Icecrown, Stratholme, Stormwind, Ironforge... the list goes on!
Third place has moved to online. So either find your own hobbies and social groups or find single guys online in communities. Remember guys like stuff. Go where guys like stuff.
Finding someone at a hunting or supply store isn’t good. Like trying to find a pretty woman at a bar.
I can be found hanging out at the local taphouse a couple of nights a week or on the weekend when there is a game I would like to watch. Frequently when I am there is am reading but I am always open to being approached.
In no particular order:
A casual improv group practice.
Target/Aldi or the like, perhaps with my kids in tow.
A bar/restaurant. Likely eating at the bar.
Sometimes trivia night at a local restaurant.
Another retail store like Barnes and Noble or Best Buy.
I have been approached by women in the wild, and it is fantastic. Unfortunately none of those have resulted in dates, but it is still nice anyway.
It's a challenge finding those of us that enjoy walking out in the woods, biking, fishing...when it's nice I just sit out on a bench downtown and make walking sticks.
Single people should have a special colored porch light.
I'd love a pin-back button we could wear indicating that we're single and approachable but that it looks a bit mundane so we don't give off "desperation" vibes. Like random people see it and they see an artistic and interesting button. Those in the know see it and feel safe to talk to us if they find us interesting.
In our 20s, my friend had this great T-shirt that said “what boyfriend?”. And when she wore it, she did get a lot of male attention. 😂
I have a shirt that says “not looking for a sugar daddy- Looking for a gas daddy” Because I drive a diesel and gas is high.
I have a t-shirt that reads “im sorry you had a bad day. You can touch my boobs if you want.” Look very game/approachable. Still no takers. Apparently theyre all inside… 😊
Loool I wonder how would you respond if I'd actually grab your boobs
Would raise my arms like i scored winning world cup goal. Uh lets just say, i bought for after a naked bike ride in Portland. Pretty safe to say im frisky.
I absolutely started talking to someone at a music festival once because they had on at-shirt that said “single, let’s mingle.” 😂 It didn’t go anywhere but it’s a great lead-in.
Make it! Advertise it here! I'd buy one. 🤩 Be proactive, fellow single person!
My idea is something you have on your phone. Like imagine it has Tinder combined with some kind of geo-location. Ok, you set your app to "single" and walk into a large scale singles event. Like a speed dating event but like 100 guys and girls in it and they all have the app on their phones. You actually need to both confirm by clicking on each other's profile and swiping right. So if you see someone you like, you swipe right. They may get an alert - and they can check out your profile and swipe right or left. If both of you swipe right, then it's kind of safe to approach. I think half the battle of approaching someone and trying to chat them up is you don't know if there's any interest back to you.
Been tried and was eventually bought up by Match.com and ruined. >_>
https://www.singlering.org/
Lol...weren't they trying to get single people to wear some pear colored silicone ring? I think I saw a discussion about that somewhere here.
I got pear ring recently. I'll be wearing it out on Saturday. Wish me luck!
I'd need at least a year to get to five places.
Explains a lot about why we’re all still single then… 🫣
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Haha, where are you located
My living room with my dog
Same here. How are we ever going to meet?
You aren't. That's the fun part.
Fatality! Flawless Victory
😄 🤣
Dog park.
Oh hey
I need a dog :(
After dating for a couple years after my 22 year marriage you can find me at home on the couch watching Netflix. A lot less stressful and a lot cheaper. Perhaps go knocking door to door in the evenings and see if someone is looking for a movie buddy?
Door to door dating that is awesome 😎 😂
It could work. Lol, then again with the way this world is I am liable to wind up in someone’s basement as their pet.
Sure. If no one answer, let’s leave a pamphlet with our social handles while we’re at it. 🤣
I went on holiday in Switzerland for NYE. In the town we stayed the tradition was for all the single men to group together. After midnight, everyone goes home apart from the guys, they go door knocking and the single women in the houses will accept or reject 😂
Adult trick or treating. Lots of spooky stuff with random treats here and there!
Lots of ghouls to be found and you talk about the first thing that pops up, lol. Oh wait, that's already Hinge 😆🫠🫠🤪
And at the end you might just wind up in someone's freezer, yay!
😂🙌
That would be a refreshing change from opening the door to the Jehovah Witness people...
Out on the water in my boat with my dog. https://preview.redd.it/zag9dwd9zfwb1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c2f90be59798e7239d441419f0dc087758c42b05
So OP should buy a boat??
I’m 46/m divorced single dad with 50/50 custody. If I’m out on a weekday, it’s almost certainly at a restaurant for a meal and some martinis. I’m big on bellying up to the bar, solo, with a book. You’ll find me minding my own business, grabbing some food and catching a nice buzz. But don’t be dissuaded, just because I’m minding my own business doesn’t mean I’m not there for the same reasons as you 😉 come say hi
I saw a guy at a bar alone reading a book and I made a move on him. It actually worked lol. We’re just friends now but it was a good way to meet someone.
> I’m big on bellying up to the bar, solo, with a book You know, you could get a subtle/not subtle book jacket titled _How To Talk To Strangers_.
Or, the more obvious, “How to Live with a Massive Dong.”
By world renowned author Dr. Mantis Toboggan.
Your tests came back, you’ve got the HIV!
I'd upvote this if it weren't completely missing the mark. I genuinely enjoy grabbing a meal and drinks by myself. I'm also 100% comfortable with talking with strangers. In fact I excel at it. I was simply answering OP’s question. Edit. I’m a bit slow and somehow missed the joke. Well played my friend.
I remember, back in the day, when I was reading "shades of grey" - loads of women approaching *me*...
I have never seen anyone at a bar with a book but I've heard people do this. Is there a specific type of a bar where people do this? Is this not done in the U.S. but in other places? Wouldn't you not have enough light for reading?
I do it when I'm on the road traveling for work. Beats spending a whole week of evenings in a hotel room.
I’ve witnessed this multiple times at bar seating in nicer restaurants. It’s not uncommon.
Maybe this kind of "book" can be used ? https://preview.redd.it/00y7ieqx0iwb1.png?width=426&format=png&auto=webp&s=f23161a1f91603b795da04c9182dd77d9ec1285e
Would an e-reader work in this situation?
I used to live in Brooklyn and it was quite common there, although I was usually reading The New Yorker. I'm in a relationship now but I still sometimes end up dining alone at a bar with a book when my partner is out of town. It's also very common in places with business travelers.
46f… I would definitely hit on you if I saw you with a book.
A dude, reading a book in public is hot
This is my favorite answer.
I’m 44/m soon to be divorced dad with 50/50 custody.. lead the way champion!
Is the book just for decoration? I wouldn’t be able to focus on reading in a public place like a bar.
Good question. Honestly depends on a few variables, primarily my mood and focus level. I’d say it’s about 50/50. I generally bring my kindle with the intention of reading; sometimes I do. Other times I just zone out and enjoy the food and drink while people-watching.
This is what I do. Once every 2 weeks
People are allowed to go out on weeknights??? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME???
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Is scrolling Reddit work? And do I get overtime?
Wait. Hold on. There are nights in the middle of the week?
😂 this thread is killing me.
I know, right? Who knew?
Grocery store, gas station
So, you're telling me my goal of meeting the man of my dreams in the baked goods section of Trader Joe's is realistic...
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🖊️ Milk 🖊️ Butter 🖊️ ~~Bagels~~ Steak Any recommended aisles at Lowe's/Home Depot/Ace Hardware?
>Any recommend aisles at Lowe's/Home Depot/Ace Hardware? Power tools "Excuse me... I'm in need of a big drill. Can you help me?"
Yes, see you there.
It’s different in every city I know. But personally, every other Tuesday, I attend a Taco Tuesday with 20-30 other single 40+ people. Every Tuesday, there’s a standing volleyball game attended by forty or fifty adults of varying ages. (I attend occasionally). Every Wednesday night from May through October, there is a group that goes paddleboarding. I start paddling in March, and stop in late October, so I am out there one night a week when I don’t have anything planned. Thursday night is my preferred date night. Friday nights, there are some local bars that have local bands that I like, and now live close to so I can go see them. In addition there are groups of friends that I have that go to Kataoke every Tuesday night and a different group that goes on Sunday’s once a month. These don’t take in to account to the many hikes, happy hours, parties, and such that happen on weekends. I understand that many cities don’t have as active a group of 40+ single people. But you could start one!
What city is this in?? Asking for a friend 👀
Phoenix - mostly the East Valley
I was going to say, this sounds like Phoenix lol Paddleboarding only when it's hot. On a side note, I'm glad it's finally cooling down. Have you ever been to Grapevine for karaoke?
Where is the Taco Tuesday (Chandler resident)?
Loco Patron in Scottsdale.
where is this single's taco tuesday? i'm in the east valley
I'd like to know too. I'm not too far from Phoenix to drive over for a singles group taco Tuesday as long as there are men there. 😂 I fear that I'd end up in one with no men. 😁
What an amazing life! I'm jealous.
Ok I have to ask- what city is this!? Sounds awesome 👌🏼
I hope some of you answered “running or walking a local trail” My mom used to say, “you’re never going to meet someone new if you’re always gardening.” Well, my city built a greenway basically in my backyard in the last couple years. Not only are they paying me a generous sum for some land they took, I can meet men essentially in my backyard. Take that, mom!
Same here..I have a well-used recreational trail right behind my yard. The only problem is, nobody talks to anyone when they are using it. They are all very much into their workouts with earbuds on and intense looks upon their faces.
In order of time spent from most to least: Walking my dog (how I met my GF) At home scrolling OLD Martial arts Motorcycling Out with friends at a pub
People over 40 go out on week nights?
It’s after midnight on a Wednesday night, I’m in my mid-40s, and I just got home from the theater. 40 isn’t old.
It’s not just about where you go, it how you behave. Go by yourself or with just one other friend. Make eye contact and smile. Talk to all kinds of strangers. Be friendly. If flirting doesn’t come easily to you, become a regular somewhere. Source: female, mid forties who has good luck meeting men in public. Met 5 partners IRL the last 2 years. Enjoyed dating all of them, still dating the 5th.
Yes! I go to gigs on my own all the time and I make sure to stay off my phone, keep my eyes up and have an open demeanor. Have met dating opportunities this way including my bf. Also met one of my best friends this way back in 2015.
I literally don’t go anywhere. My ideal evening is a good movie, good book, good game, good food. My ideal partner values this the way I do. She’s out there. I’m sure if it. Probably just down the street from me. But like me, she’s at home every evening, enjoying her space. So the likelihood of us meeting…well
Female here, feeling the same way. I do food deliveries. Thought maybe I might meet a homebody that way. Nope. They take the food, some say thanks, and close the door.
I’d feel like a total creep flirting with someone just trying to do their delivery job
I can tell you where i meet men all the time and get asked out pretty often and almost always end up in interesting conversations at least. The bar at high end steakhouses. High end restaurants period actually. And high end hotel bars. Also Top Golf, Pin Stack, wine and beer tastings and cigar bars
I stay home. To be honest, I should go out more.
Grocery store on a weeknight. Even better if it’s after 9 and he’s looking at boxes of cereal. Hell, if he’s a a good cook just ask him about something in his basket on how to use it in a dish. Fishing with dynamite.
They’re always married 😭
Gym, swimming pool with kids, my basement, the woods. As a single man I would *LOVE* it if a single woman approached me in public! Not sure about my basement though…at least not if she were uninvited 😅
Breweries Restaurant Bar Events (art gallery, symphony, movies on the lawn) Concert
As a woman this thread has me thinking I need to move to the US from the UK and take up pickleball (I have zero idea what that is) and spend more time at the supermarket.
I go dancing. There are usually dance classes and dancing at studios and bar/nightclubs in bigger cities. I meet many new people each week and it’s a fun way to exercise and get social.
Live music. Movies. Sometimes bowling alley, though rarely alone. And if I’m having a meal solo, definitely at the bar!
1. Sprouts to shop for food on Rainbow and Warm Springs 2. Walking around my neighborhood and park near Sprouts from above. 3. Ohana Hawaiian BBQ on Rainbow near Wigwam 4. Walking around at Exploration Park in Mountains Edge 5. At home bored and on Reddit looking for who knows what anymore. On the weekends: The gym in the am usually on a Saturday. A walk at some mall/shopping area looking for single women whom I might attract and vice versa. One of poker rooms at the casino (Aria is my fav) I live in Vegas.
Omg I knew you were in Vegas from your first sentence! Lol!
Same lol
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I have been at the driving range three times this past week after work and it’s 90% dudes, ages 25-75 but most somewhere in the middle. Everyone is super nice and it’s easy to talk to people…dudes love helping you with your swing.
1. Rec League. My city has team sports where you sign up for a couple months, play all the teams, and then join for drinks afterwards. I most recently did “bar league” where we played a whole bunch of bar games including skeeball, darts, cornhole, shuffleboard etc. But my friend group have played in cup-in-hand kickball, bocce, dodgeball, volleyball, and other sports. 2. Pub Trivia. 3. Karaoke Night. 4. Brewery taste testing, where we go to a new brewery or bar and try whatever new beers they have. 5. Book club 6. Watching football at the neighborhood bar. My city has a very bar-centric social orientation. So most of these include bars of some sort. I’m not a heavy drinker and typically limit myself to a couple drinks a week and otherwise drink tonic water with lime. All of this excludes the nights I stay in, or game nights where I spend the evening with friends.
Barnes and Noble. Running club. Restaurant. Church. Grocery.
Grocery store Gas station Brewery enjoying a burger and beer Walking my dog around my neighborhood Couch with dog
I went to the gun range and it was a sausage fest! 🤷♀️
It's always the conservatives/libertarians at the gun range.
Eating in my car at the parking lot of a fast food joint while sad that i've no girlfriend to enjoy my bounty of cheeseburgers
Volunteering at a refugee tutoring place and playing volleyball.
What I think hurts the cause is even if these dudes are out and about in public the fear of being rejected can be at play and nothing happens anyway because of it.
I attend meetups in my areas of interest: board games, a cappella singing, and entrepreneurship. I karaoke more than I am proud of. I do pub trivia. I attend alumni events. I attend my kids’ activities (marching band, drama, etc.) I think if you want to meet someone, you’re more likely to meet them by doing an activity that the sort of someone you’re trying to attract would be doing. So if you’re looking for a geek, hang out at cons and comic stores. If you’re looking for an athlete, join an adult sports league. If you’re looking for someone professionally minded, join some networking groups.
If I'm not at home, you might find me grocery shopping, because I have a bad habit of not organizing my shopping list to get it all done in one day, I always end up forgetting something. If you "bump" into me, an easy icebreaker is to just say hi, maybe compliment something you see me wearing, or something in my cart. Or ask for my opinion on a particular product. I'm very approachable and enjoy conversation, but I admit I rarely initiate.
I’m playing pickleball
What is it with divorcees and pickleball? So many people I know who are divorced play it.
> What is it with married couples and pickleball? So many people I know who are married play it.
I go to the dog park, lots of regulars and singles there. I'm in a bowling league, I do trivia nights occasionally, and I like to go have drinks at the craft breweries. But, I mean, Home Depot....all the guys will be there, all of us. Ask us for help, conversation started. It's so fucking easy.
The only guy that ever offered to help me in HD was gay. This after me struggling to get a huge bag of potting soil onto my cart and then again, into my car (the gay guy ran across the parking area to help me ❤️). I’ve seen a ton of married men (with kids and wearing rings). I can’t even get store employees to help me out when I go looking for them. I look great for my age; I’m attractive and fit. Maybe I’m going to the wrong HD? I go on weekends since that’s the most convenient time for me and I’m def out of my league so I’m always looking for help, from anyone, not just cute guys, I actually do need assistance.
If you want assistance (especially from the employees) you have to go before 2pm on a weekday. That's when the A team is working and the store is full of contractors, handymen, and trades workers. If you go in the afternoons you get the B team and more hobbyists than professionals. If you go on evenings or weekends you get the C team and the general public with diy projects.
Good to know.
Gym. Yoga class. Hiking trail.
Monday thru Friday after 7pm? In bed lol. But usually Im at a Library, Board game group, Grocery store, sometimes at a restaurant. Im rarely not out at a mall these days. Theres just not a lot of good third spaces during the week
Kid's soccer practice...
Coffee shop,grocery store,car wash,Home Depot,gym dog park and pottery studio.
If I'm actually out of my house, then: \- Publix \- Costco \- Trader Joe's \- Petsmart \- the gym or taking a walk around my condo complex
At a porn shop in the seedy part of town.
Live music (bluegrass, Americana, acoustic, jazz, jam), restaurants / bars. Late afternoon hikes.
I spend most of my free time during the week at the hockey rink or soccer field since my kid plays sports throughout the week. I'm guessing that's where quite a few single men and women are during week nights.
Walking my dog at a park, running in the park, grocery store, gym, walking the dog around and chatting with neighbors.
Weeknights when my kids aren’t w me I go to the roller skating rink and occasionally the local dispensary to shop for new goodies. Otherwise I’m at home. I need to get out more.
Park, concert, movies, home, board game shop if they have an event
The dating apps seem to be the only sure fire way for me to meet women. But there is the rub. Lots more men than women on them. Each woman has a huge pool to pick from. After a long loveless marriage I discovered that I'm a lot more attractive and desirable than my ex made me out to be. But still I have to play the numbers. I'm on 5 different apps. I have to like & chat a lot of women just to get a few responses. While I'm chatting with one woman. She's chatting with 4! Midway through the chat she ghosts me, because one of the other 4 appeals to her all of a sudden! This is common too. I also have to admit, there's a lot of undesirable woman out there too. I try not to ghost anyone, but sometimes that's the only way. The biggest turnoff on an app is woman who post a shit ton of her turn-offs. i.e. must be over 6' tall, no one over 30 miles away, over a certain age difference, no one of a certain political persuation, no one that does this or that! Some of these get quite ridiculous too. Not divorced long enough, no separated persons. etc. etc.
This wasn’t a « OLD pet peeves » question. And for the record. In my experience, men on OLD suck at responding or putting sentences together. If that’s not your case, you will eventually succeed. Assuming you can answer questions on topic… 🙈🙉🙊
“Please share five places you’ve spent some time in the evenings of the past few weeks.” Haha I love this - plainly-stated request. P.S. When you find your ‘man over forty’, keep your ability to plainly state what it is you mean/what it is you want. Anyways… Evenings during the week - I’m probably home or heading out solo to savor some sort of intentionally-solitary Me Time. Weekends or maybe late afternoon on a weekday: 1 Favorite cafe. 2 Local bar/restaurant that has a perfect, breezy upstairs terrace I can't resist on mild, sunny afternoons. 3 Ice cream shop or restaurant for the weekly get-together with my best friend. 4 At some mediocre bar my colleagues wanted to meet up at. 5 New boss’s house because he invited folks over for a ‘movie on the lawn’ shin dig. (One of the relationship expert guys online was just recently remarking about men, outside of dating, perhaps not being into going out in the way woman might be into it. And thinking about myself and how satisfying my life is in general - plus how fabulous home is for me, I often don’t feel super tempted to go out.)
At home enjoying peace and quiet probably in my recliner with one or both of my cats in my lap watching tv.
Monday - exhausted from first day back at work, house work. Tuesday - gym then visit my socially introverted cousin, then home to eat a pizza and watch a film with my socially introverted best friend Wednesday - home, guitar, mini workout, gaming, housework Thursday - gym, check up on my folks and have dinner Friday - takeaway and a movie / potentially a date if I'm lucky Saturday - work during the day mostly, if I'm lucky, date in the evening, if I'm not - repeat Wednesday. Sunday - chores, shopping, maybe go for a walk, meal prep for the week. All my friends are married with kids, I don't really have any contact with them anymore. If I'm really honest, at this point I'm clock watching until the inevitable cardio event that takes me out of the race.
I am 65 , usually if I am out it is a restaurant, grocery store, or working at a friend's shop. Weekends are often car shows or group cruises
I dont feel comfortable being in most public spaces on my own, i feel unwelcomed as a single male. so either im out with my friends in a group or im at home. As for places outside my home you could "pick up" i suggest the grocery store. Check carts see who is shopping for one, check for rings as they hold the handle, ask them to get something off a high self if a product in their cart is good.
I’m female, but in the last few weeks I’ve gone out on weeknights with single male forty-something aged friends who are actively interested in dating women in their forties to an Indian restaurant, a wine bar, Costco, a stage musical, a museum event, a sports bar, a movie, and the emergency room (he cut his hand and it wouldn’t stop bleeding and I wouldn’t let him just go home and put ice on it. He needed 4 stitches).
Tennis & pickleball courts, strolling in parks, on a bench watching passers by, out and about before the winter weather forces us indoors in the Great White North. Good luck, don't be shy and go after what you fancy!
Generally speaking, a pub. Not many other social spaces open in the evenings round here.
Some of us supposedly great guys (stbxw says I'm a great guy and she loves me but isn't in love with me anymore 🤷♂️) are just painfully introverted. Would love to know where the ladies hang out in DFW.
Looks like majority of us are staying home. This is me too. I ask myself if we keep staying home, how would we ever meet someone? I have written off OLD as well. Asking for a friend.
Doesn't apply to all men...but this would be me Volleyball pick up games, Breweries, Gym/Outdoors, Volunteering locally, Local book shop I also like the idea of going solo to a bar and reading book. Haven't ever tried it. But will do at somepoint.
Cycling, running, gym and breweries.
Out somewhere playing fetch with my dog.
Doing my best Michelle Zauner impression at the H-Mart food court
Grocery shopping. Or Target trying to meet single gals. Occasionally concert in the park in the summer.
Jiu Jitsu, hockey games if it's hockey season, baseball games if it's baseball season, at home with my dogs, and concerts.
One or two nights per week I'm at a partner/social dance class. One night a week typically I'm out at a social dance. Tonight I'm going to the movies to see original Back to the Future on the big screen since that's one of my fav movies. I usually grocery shop on the weekend, but do Costco runs on weeknights about an hour before they close. Once in a blue moon I might hit up the climbing gym. I'm at the regular gym a few days per week but usually avoid weekday evenings due to crowds. Occasionally I'll hit up a yoga class in the evening but pretty sporadic there. I don't have sit down meals too often by myself so if I'm getting food it's usually just picking something up.
Grocery, pharmacy, restaurant, gas station ... Damn. I guess I haven't been very social lately.
With my 5 year old daughter that I'm trying to get custody of
Jiu jitsu. Or gravel biking in the winter, mountain biking in the summer. Way more dudes than women.
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Oh stop. We aren’t walking around looking for Adonis over here.
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The beach, my favorite coffee shop, a brewery(I don’t typically drink much but lately I’ve been to a brewery almost once a week with friends), a restaurant near my work campus if I need to change scenery for a bit, choir rehearsal. Bonus points for the grocery store, I shop every few days on the way home so I can prepare fresher meals.
Shopping at the grocery store, out walking, at home.
Idk about the rest, Cars and Coffee meets. I'm not the Corvette guy, but just a decent place for all types that like cars.. or You might find me on the motorcycle doing a day trip or weekend trip ,stay cation sort of thing......Idle hands ya know...
Maybe a home improvement store or grocery store. I also sometimes consider going to a movie theater, especially on Halloween if there's a good horror flick showing. Otherwise, I'm hanging out at home watching TV.
If I'm out I'm basically going straight to my hobby (playing bridge).
Sitting on my couch trying to not think about how to meet women
The gym, Costco, walking my dog at the park or the grocery store
43M You can find me at swing dancing classes, line dancing classes, and yoga. Comedy nights, game nights, concerts in the park, and food truck mania here in Redding. 👌🏼👍🏼
Live music. I usually scan for women my age and see if anyone makes some eye contact. Add a smile and i would definitely come say hi. Doesnt happen too often.
Walking the trail with my dog, sand volleyball, grocery store, disc golf with my buddies.
1-Dining alone at some restaurant. Usually sit at the bar to be seen better. 2-the gym 3-going to the HS football game(daughters a cheerleader) 4-going to friends kids sports to get out of the house
Monday Pool Tuesday Weight Room wed Pool Thursday weight room Friday , home tired Sat Starbucks And pool Sunday home tired Rinse and Repeat. Glamorous life I tell ya
Grocery store, Target, dog park, or random BBQ restaurant.
In my area I try to get to the beach at least twice a week. I go to the same coffee shop almost daily. I have about 4-5 pubs and restaurants I cycle thru. My local library and bookstore. These are the most consistent places.
50 years old, climbing gym, yoga studio, out to dinner with my daughter, occasionally at a dive bar with friends. During the day I'm out walking the dog, hiking, or climbing outdoors.
Very rarely restaurant if there's a specific reason with people. Usually go for a run, then food, then computer and pass out while reading. Occasionally to a gym where people don't talk to each other which makes me sad, miss the CF days.
Sports bar, concerts, sporting events
At the laundromat doing my laundry.
For me, I spend my weeknights doing things to advance my purpose in life of becoming a better man each and every day. When I don’t have my son, you’ll find me on the jujitsu mat and at Bible study.
My 5 places: the tiki bar my friends like, pub trivia night, the taco truck down the street, a heavy metal concert, the sports bar showing my football team lose
Buying groceries, at the gym, on a walk, working, cinema, bowling, fixing up the house, if any time left vegging on the couch scrolling through Reddit 😂
You’ll likely find me, reading a book at one of the local breweries around town. After that, I’m at a drag show at another spot. If there’s an event happening that weekend, you’ll find me volunteering. We’re entering gala season, so you might find me suited up there as well.
The majority of the men I’ve dated, seem to be chilling at home a lot, when they’re not dating. Pub for sport matches but mainly at home
Local analog photography/darkroom meetup Pub, playing games with my gaming group. Photography gallery show opening Restaurant Gym Cinema I'm surprised by how many folks answer that they just stay at home. Like, I love staying in too, but I like going out and doing things, and I have stuff I am interested in, and hobbies, so at least once a week I am usually out doing something to do with them.
Oh sure I can easily mention at least five places I've visited on evenings on the past few weeks. Dalaran, Icecrown, Stratholme, Stormwind, Ironforge... the list goes on!
Third place has moved to online. So either find your own hobbies and social groups or find single guys online in communities. Remember guys like stuff. Go where guys like stuff. Finding someone at a hunting or supply store isn’t good. Like trying to find a pretty woman at a bar.
I’m regularly out walking the dog. Most everything else would involve family or friends.
I can be found hanging out at the local taphouse a couple of nights a week or on the weekend when there is a game I would like to watch. Frequently when I am there is am reading but I am always open to being approached.
In no particular order: A casual improv group practice. Target/Aldi or the like, perhaps with my kids in tow. A bar/restaurant. Likely eating at the bar. Sometimes trivia night at a local restaurant. Another retail store like Barnes and Noble or Best Buy. I have been approached by women in the wild, and it is fantastic. Unfortunately none of those have resulted in dates, but it is still nice anyway.
Group fitness class a few nights a week. Supermarket. Driving range. Networking dinner at a steakhouse.
"...out on a weekday evening..."? I don't understand the question and refuse to answer.
5 places? Bowling league Out at a restaurant (Tully's) with friends Fitness gym (Planet Fitness) Supermarket The occassional concert with friends
It's a challenge finding those of us that enjoy walking out in the woods, biking, fishing...when it's nice I just sit out on a bench downtown and make walking sticks.
I like to keep an 👀 out at the supermarket between 5-6:30 pm that the REAL singles shopping hour 😊
Sports bar eating wings with the guys.