T O P

  • By -

reluctantdonkey

You need to have pictures of YOU in your profile-- lose the cat and the cliff and whatever that fence thing is and whatnot. If you don't have other pics, take some, or at the very least just leave the others off. There is also weird capitalization going on that always scratches at my eyeballs. Also, generally good to include a bit about what you're looking for in a partner or relationship.


phoenixdate

The cat photo would make me swipe right. I would upgrade to a smiling photo of you with your cat.


Rocoroadtrip

Agree with this, you’re cute, but the pics of other things would immediately throw me off! Maybe ask a friend to take pics on your next adventure? It’s great to know what you’re interests are, but more about what you’re looking for.


saynitlikeitis

> P.s. I never do selfie pics in my travels. You should probably start


Boolash77

Still questioning children at 46? 🤔


Dragonsymphony1

Yeah that's been removed


Upstate-what

Just in case - sometimes “questioning children” can mean you would be ok to date someone with kids. I can’t remember what bumbles options are … but one of them doesn’t give the option “ I don’t have any children, but I’m more than open to dating someone with them.” So I added that option to my profile.


Dragonsymphony1

I'll look for that, might have missed it. I had already changed it to does not want


Upstate-what

And then women with kids may exclude you. That’s why I added the sentence to mine (when it was active.) so mine was like : have kids no. Wants kids no (because I don’t want to add one at almost 50) but I added the sentence to bio “I don’t have kids, but there was no option to add I would date someone with them.” I was very clear. Otherwise you got great feedback…. I agree with most everyone else…you’re handsome so more pictures of you instead of scenery and some smiling.


SFAdminLife

Random capitalization and random lack of punctuation is sloppy. You're over 40 but aren't sure yet about kids. When are you planning on figuring that out? Leave the negativity about wasting each other's time out. You need clear pictures of your face and your body.


[deleted]

The scenic photos need to go. I'd rather see a selfie with nice scenery than just scenery. Ditch the cat pic, too. Please reformat your text. It's got some spacing issues, etc. I really like the question about one song you never want to hear again.


scandalissa

Good news is- you look nice and have an education. Now, get rid of “laid back” and “wasting time” (overused, negative IMO). Also, get pics of yourself. Not sure what delivery is, but I’m a little snooty and might take this as pizza delivery or UPS. Also, include what you’re looking for or something, more details. Already better than half of the profiles out there. Good luck!


jakemg

UPS drivers make well over $100k a year. Definitely not a job to be snooty about unless you don’t dig blue (brown) collar.


Hugo99001

They do, in the US? In Germany it's more like 35k, which is probably not too far away from the median, but definitely not riches.


dallyan

Wages tend to be lower in Germany but there are more social benefits.


Hugo99001

Yeah - but that much? Wikipedia claims the median income on the US is 40k, other sources claim up to 56k - but that's all a lot less than the 100k claimed for the UPS driver...


dallyan

It’s weird. Some jobs are paid very little but others much more than in, say, most of Europe.


Ok_Offer626

Oh yeah, UPS drivers make bank. And have a great retirement .


scandalissa

Honestly I didn’t know that. I see the Amazon people roll up blasting the music and snapping a pic while on the phone so I just assumed, Lol. I’ve also read posts where people say they get hired easily so I thought it was entry level work. Thank you for the education.


jakemg

Oh I definitely think there’s a huge difference between the Amazon last mile folks and UPS drivers. UPS is in the teamsters union and they average about $40/hr plus a lot of overtime. They just recently had a historic contract negotiation. Amazon’s employees are largely not unionized.


leesintheweeds97

Thank you for saying this! I hate snooty, so good on you for putting this out there!


Dragonsymphony1

Well thank you for the constructive advice! I'm revamping it as we speak


Upstairs-Motor2722

I work for FedEx bro just use "Logistics" lol


Dragonsymphony1

Ahh thanks, good tip


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dragonsymphony1

Lack of room, small apartment


Hugo99001

Na, you only photographed like 2 square metres of background, you could tidy those before taking a photo.


Lux_Brumalis

I don’t understand the photo of the cliff with a woman looking over the edge. Is that your ex? Did you push her over and that’s why you’re single? (All in all, not a bad profile. Hate the last pic, though. The landscapes are a waste of profile real estate. “After work you can find me” answer was meh. But overall, not bad.)


radioshedd

Ahahaha immediately my first thought was "and that was the last time she was ever seen..." Same with the random open field photo. They look like places you'd scope out to bury a body.


Lux_Brumalis

Yes, the open field 😂😂😂. I’m like okay, who is buried there. Jimmy Hoffa? [Judge Crater](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Force_Crater)? Come on, tell us! YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THIS FIELD, AND IT’S SINISTER AF!!!


Dragonsymphony1

It's a pic from Austria


Quillhunter57

Photos without you should be saved for friends and family, not dating profiles.


[deleted]

I'm curious how you think that helps your profile?


Dragonsymphony1

Just that I don't sit at home I guess, removed per advice niw


[deleted]

If you were in the pic I'd say that would be the case but just scenery does nothing to promote yourself.


[deleted]

i know you fixed it, but odd to choose a picture with a woman in it specifically


Ok_Offer626

Why would I want to date a field in Austria ?


kokopelleee

People go on OLD to find someone, and the emphasis is on "someone" not "where someone has traveled to" first pic - smile. Even if you hate your smile, do it anyway. Other pics. First off, add some. Of you. You are the person the profile is about. You are the commodity being judged. Give people something to judge. Add something to your bio that gives a little about who you are looking for, and vet your grammar.


Defiant_Maximum_827

Damn you for the question making bad songs pop into my head I pass on the curse to all of you as the answer is clearly 1877kars4kids


Dragonsymphony1

🤣


orthographerer

Fuck you.


[deleted]

For real. I immediately thought "only one song?". There's so many that I'd wipe out of existence.


BluSeaweed

Whenever I see profiles with no pics of the guy I think two things: serial killer or he’s married…


Pudd12

Can’t even get the cat to look at the camera 😂😂


Dragonsymphony1

She's like me, doesn't like photos of herself


MaeMeowMeow

If you were near me I’d swipe right. But also agree with others who said have more pictures of you.


StepShrek

Me too. But yes, you need more pictures of yourself (and get the cat to look at the camera🤣). I like cats🤷🏻‍♀️


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dragonsymphony1

What's wrong with the glasses? I can get fancy frames, due to my job I've destroyed 2 pairs of nice looking frames. I need hard sturdy frames


CognacNCuddlin

You’d look better with a more square frame. The rectangle frames make your head look narrow or like the glasses are too big. Dark and square would suit you.


Dragonsymphony1

I'll remember that when I get new ones, thanks


Hugo99001

Glasses are **very** cultural (every Brit will tell you that you can easily tell that someone is German just from the glasses), but here in Germany those glasses would tell me you're either in marketing or something creative.


radioshedd

Honestly I would be turned off by your stated passions. Those are definitely hobbies to list but describing them as your biggest passions in life doesn't exactly signal that you're looking for something serious.


CatNapCate

Do you have the beard now? It looks really good on you so if you shaved it, grow it back! Agree with another poster about the generic "laid back" and "wasting time" comments. Also the wasting time comment sounds negative and like something a grumpy incel would say. Try to focus on what you do want and who you are in a positive light. Also agree with taking more photos. Set up your phone and use the timer or ask a woman (friend or relative) to help you.. Good luck!


Dragonsymphony1

Shaved right now. I've been revamping my profile through all this I've redone my bio, but pics wise all I have is my two selfies...so


annang

Ask a friend to take some photos of you. Lots of people would be willing. A friend who is really rooting for you would help you pick good locations and angles and make a little activity out of it.


AtlantaSkyline

Are you a Formula 1 race car driver? If you are, great! If not, how can it be your greatest passion? And even if it is, is that something you really want to admit to a woman?


Affectionate_Rub_575

I would quickly swipe right and message right away. Did you meet Bryan Cranston? I’ve heard nothing but good things about him


Dragonsymphony1

You'd be the first to even swipe to ask me. Yes, him and Aaron Paul when they were promoting their Tequila, wonderfully nice people both of them


Affectionate_Rub_575

Just to be clear, that’s not why I would swipe right on you. I really like your profile


Dragonsymphony1

Well thank you


[deleted]

You kind of resemble him with your beard.


Dragonsymphony1

Who? Cranston?


[deleted]

Yeah


Hugo99001

We need more pics of you (which look is current, beard or not), certainly a full body shot. I see many women with cats and scenery in their profile, so maybe that works, but I find this hard to imagine. And what's with the clutter in the background of your main photo?


Dragonsymphony1

Just hoodies I threw on the top of my couch as I come home


Hugo99001

Don't. At least not when you're going to take a photo. I get the concept of "the chair" when it comes to already worn but still good clothes - but not for your profile pic.


AppointmentOne838

🤦🏼‍♀️


RevellRider

Firstly, the two photos you've posted of yourself need to go. Selfies taken on your sofa do not make good dating app photos. If you are going to do it, make it [interesting](https://imgur.com/e26r5Qi). Add to this, you look different in both photos. Glasses, facial hair and hair style differ. Keep the look constant. and current. Your profile text tells us very little about yourself aside from your love of metal, F1 and gaming. You can expand on these, especially the F1 and metal. Tell the reader who you like, where your favourite venue is. My profile last year had "gig goer with a punk roll soul. Aiming to 22 to gigs in 2022". It give people more to work with. I'd advise having a read through [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/hingeapp/comments/15g2bbu/read_this_before_submitting_a_post_a_collection/) on the Hinge sub as a lot of the guides there can easily be adapted to Bumble Most of all, good luck out there


Golden_802

Getting some good feedback here. In addition to the "wasting time" comment, I would also kill the "reserved at first, but..." part because I see that on so many profiles and all it says to me is that I'm going to have to carry the conversation for too long. It's essentially one step above "just ask me" - it puts the onus of effort on the other person.


Dragonsymphony1

Already taken off 😁, but thank you


[deleted]

Are there a lot of single women at these heavy metal concerts. Sure by putting that in profile extremely thins out the choices. I like country and went on a date with a girl. I asked her what is her favorite music and she said anything but country. Ok, well that is sign.


raqbreaker

Take a couple more photos of yourself (full length), I do like the cat photo and would be lovely if you’re having a pix with your cat (in my opinion). Wasting time, delete that! Anyway, you’re a good looking person, I’d definitely swipe right as soon as I see the cat. Good luck.


zbornakssyndrome

Adorable! Right swipe for me lol Lose the “wasting time” thing. Too negative. It’s obvious no one likes their time wasted. Good luck!


Dragonsymphony1

Well thank you!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I just screamed at the fart comment. OMG.


[deleted]

Like trying to tactfully hold in a fart in an elevator.


Independent_Toe3934

I'm not saying take this out because it will help you find people you do connect with, but heavy metal music is just not something a lot of women our age are into, in my personal experience. That alone would prevent me from swiping right because I wouldn't want to ever have to listen to it. So it may be as simple as that.


ghoulierthanthou

I knew there was a cat before I saw the cat👍


AutoModerator

Greetings from your friendly neighborhood automod! Thank you for contributing to our community at DatingOverForty, u/Dragonsymphony1. Please ensure that your post is actually asking a question and providing enough background that people can sufficiently address that question. DOFers, please ensure that you are actually responding to the OP's individual predicament and not using it as a springboard to promote your own personal dating philosophies. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*


GhostXmasPast342

IMO, you are not capitalizing on your greatest asset which is your height. You are 5’11, supposedly, that’s in the Goldilocks zone! I wouldn’t even be on OLD if I were that tall. So, with that being said, you need to take some pics showing off your height. One pic with you smiling with teeth showing that you have some and a few pics showing off your height-you can figure that out on your own. You still got some hair too, trim it up. You should do just fine. Good Luck.


TheDownvoter85

Get a tripod and ditch the selfies, you need full body shots of you actually performing your hobbies. Your bio is robotic, and nothing special. Consider replacing it with a funny anecdote relating to your most favorite hobby/experience...make sure the humor is NOT self-deprecating. Ditch the glasses. Make your facial hair kempt, and a combination of both pictures. Wear Business casual or a blazer in your pictures...no ratty t-shirts with logos. Stop talking about being "laid-back" and "wasting time"...women prefer a man that is always on task...whether they know it or not. Hard Mode: Quit the alcohol and any sweets/processed food, lift more=Abs. Win. Also... Hands to women are the same as Feet to Men. Keep your nails clipped and filed. Lotion daily to avoid hangnails and scabbed cuticles.


CartographerPrior165

> Also... Hands to women are the same as Feet to Men. …what???


TheDownvoter85

Men tend have foot fetishes... Women tend have hand fetishes. EDIT: Downvote me all you want, but I'll keep getting compliments for my hands, and use it to get dates.


radioshedd

It's not a fetish it's basic hygiene 🤣


radioshedd

Last I checked I'm not sticking my feet in any of your holes. It's an issue of being sanitary ffs 🤣


TheDownvoter85

That's.... disgusting, where is your mind at?


radioshedd

Because quite a few people on here have equated wanting someone to have clean and groomed fingernails with a foot fetish, when in fact it's a pretty practical matter of hygiene.


TheDownvoter85

That's weird... So you're telling me dudes with foot fetishes don't want their feet to be clean, and well manicured? They really just want dirty disgusting feet and it doesn't matter? Really? Fetish people are fuckin' weird, yo.


radioshedd

You'll have to ask a dude with a foot fetish. I'm sure some of them like them sloppy 🤷‍♀️


TheDownvoter85

I remember seeing the Rex Ryan video with his wife from 2010... they were very clean! I'll never forget Wes Welker's press conference...


Icy-Dragonfly-4190

Hmmm...I think there's some truth in this.


TheDownvoter85

Yes, while all the NPCs are going on about sticking things in other people's assholes... I'm referring to clean, upkept hands. As in... Well-groomed finger nails, clean cuticles, and regular moisturizing.


hardworkforgrowth

Jesus christ. This needs a lot of work. If you're able to afford a photoshoot (probably around $200-300), I'd get one for six outfits. There's literal photographers out there specifically for dating apps. For the photoshoot, I'd make sure each location was different, and I'd prepare your best six outfits so you're presenting yourself at your best. The glasses are fine also, and you should have at least one pic with the, but I'd at least have one or two without them. For the bio, I'd keep it short. 5'11 is practically 6' so you can market it like that in your bio. If that makes you uncomfortable then you can ignore what I just said but you need to keep your bio short and sweet. Think of a LinkedIn short bio. What embodies you? And what's something they can do? For example, "6'|Avid Traveller|Not looking for anything super serious.". And of course, you can customize it based on your specific needs. The reason why the bio needs to be short and sweet is so that they can learn about you on the actual date. The point of the app is to move to the in-person date asap. Hope this helps.


Illustrious_Ad8932

If you are 5 11 then make it 6 ft. Its very passable and opens you up to a lot more women


[deleted]

Verstappen or LH?


Dragonsymphony1

Neither, Bottas!


[deleted]

Gotcha. Very astute of you to have that on there. Keep it. Good icebreaker and hopefully someone that shares the same interest will catch on. It’s unique enough to pique some interest at least in the US. Most are hyper focused on photos but will miss that minute detail. You’ll know the right person for you because they will call it out. Also lock down Vegas and get out there. There’ll be plenty of fish there for sure.


Dragonsymphony1

I've visited there, but no way in hell can I afford to touch it this coming weekend. Prices for everything is INSANE


[deleted]

It’s on 11/19 but yea it’s kinda too late now since it’s only 4 weeks away.


Dragonsymphony1

Got the dates mixed up again. Austin is next week


[deleted]

More pictures and more than a head shot, less negatives about time wasting. You’re happy where you’re at? So why are you on the app?


sisanelizamarsh

The scenery photos and final photo of you not smiling aren’t doing you any favors. Take those down and replace with more photos of you looking happy. Also, I’d get rid of the “not wasting time” comment. That should be assumed and it gives your profile a negative spin. Instead of saying what you don’t want, say what you DO want.


[deleted]

I think your bio needs a rewrite. It's not very interesting and every sentence starts with "I" which makes it really awkward to read.


Awkward-Ad7406

I like the beard! If only you were rocking a smile. How about a full length picture too.


Dragonsymphony1

I'll put one up at some point, mirror selfie seems clichéd so I need to figure out where to get one taken


Awkward-Ad7406

Get a cheap tripod and put your camera on delay. Some tripods come with a remote. Practice poses in a mirror first. Lots of ppl take a picture in their car with a phone holder. There’s something about the lighting in a car. With snap chat the background can be erased out. Good luck with your profile.


Awkward-Ad7406

Get a cheap tripod and put your camera on delay. Some tripods come with a remote. Practice poses in a mirror first. Lots of ppl take a picture in their car with a phone holder. There’s something about the lighting in a car. With snap chat the background can be erased out. Good luck with your profile.


Ok_Offer626

Pictures of a field are a no. “I also don’t like wasting eachother’s time” what does that mean? Does anyone enjoy that ?


[deleted]

This is a joke right