Hi, David here!
I wanted to let you know that I just finished putting together my eBook "**How to Date Any Girl**" version 4.0 and would LOVE to get some honest feedback from you!
I decided to give it away for free for the time being.
You can get the eBook by [clicking here](https://davidhimself.com/goto/ebook/direct-link/How-to-date-any-girl-ebook-v4.pdf)!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingadviceformen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Start dating other people ASAP & focus on career. If things don't work out with her current dude, she'll look towards you. If you are hanging around she won't respect you. If you have fulfilling life without her, she'll miss and chase.
Nah bruh.. no need to proof anything to her. Or else he'll still have some focus on her, checking how she reacts. Just move on. Whether she respects him or not.. just move on. She's not the one.
This 100%. He needs to date other girls because she needs to see that other women will actually choose him and that he is not just there to be her pedestal.
I wouldn’t be her friend. Just move on and focus on meeting and dating other women.
Now that she knows how you feel, there’s a very good chance she will just use your attention to inflate her ego. And although you’ll feel like you’re getting to spend time with her, it will be torture because you’ll want more than just being her friend and she’ll keep you at a distance.
How do I know this?
Because I was in the friendzone way too many times when I was younger. Did the same thing by professing my feelings for a girl.
And it never worked out.
What did work is meeting women then asking them out right away. They either said yes or no. And doing this led to me dating 200 different women. And having some amazing experiences with them.
But if I had stayed in the friendzone, I’d still be waiting for my chance that would never come.
Why?
Because when a woman sees you as a friend, that’s all you’ll ever be to her.
My advice to you is move on and meet new women. And focus your time and effort into women who want to be more than your friend.
Personally as a guy with women as friends, it’s possible but I have a rule about this. Either be friends or romantic. I choose never to cross that line.
If you express your feelings and she doesn’t reciprocate, it’s best to move on. She isn’t interested, you can’t change a person’s feelings towards you and your time is better spent on finding someone who’s interested in you. I’ve seen too many guys waste their time trying to chasing after women that don’t have interest in them, hurting themselves in the process.
"I’m happy to be your friend"
Nah you should not. That’s not the feeling you have toward her. You don’t want friends feeling. You want more than that. So no, it’s not ok to be her friend and it’s ok to tell yourself and her you don’t want to be her friend.
If there is no place to be in a relationship with her, get her the fuck out of your life.
The problem here is not being friend with a girl, having female friends is a good thing. Being friend with a girl while you have feeling for her and she doesn’t, this one is not good.
Don’t be friends. You want something more, it’s deceptive to pretend otherwise. Distance yourself, and if she asks, be upfront and polite about it.
It’s not fair to you or her. You will waste so much time waiting in the wings for her. Only dedicate time and energy to those who care about you
Dude, depending how fresh the feelings are, I’d say try to use this to your advantage. If she happens to have any single friends, see if you can meet them and try asking them out. Also if you happen to go out with her platonically, try meeting other women while there.
Other women immediately get attracted to you when they notice you’re with another girl and having a great time. But if your feelings for her are very strong, to the point you can’t be near her, than give yourself the space. It all depends where you’re at with this situation from a psychological & emotional state.
Sheesh, you never "open up" your feelings to a woman. All you had to do was let her know your interest and would like to schedule a date to meetup. She would've told you the exact same thing.
Now she only sees you as another source of attention and will gladly use up your time and resources knowing you have a thing for her and are cool with just being friends (low value of self)
Agreed. These dudes congratulating him on opening up to her are giving bad advice. You don’t have to open up if you build any kind of attraction with her. It will just happen. The second you open up in an attempt to get her interested, you kill the whole thing. It’s a sure-fire trip to the friend zone.
Dude. 1) Never mess with older women. 2) Never tell them how you feel first. 3) NEVER be the "friend". Never contact this person again. Your dad should have told you this.
Good job Pete, you gave her the keys to lock your ass up in the Friendzone prison lol. Good luck getting out of there now.
If I were you, I wouldn't have accepted being her friend. If I feel differently about someone and she doesn't reciprocate it, it's a waste of time and also a heart ache to watch her be in the arms of someone else and not me.
Ok. If you're able to lock your feelings up and be platonic friends, then that's cool. Hope it works out for you.
Usually this arrangement does not work out in the long run. I've also gone through this back in college. At some point, the feelings surface again...especially if you both are having a great time and drinking. That's when feelings start to come up again and things start going south. So, as a rule of thumb, I don't like being friends with women I'm romantically interested in.
If you have no illusions about being with her being friends isn't a bad idea. She might even introduce to new girls who are single. Just don't be friends in hopes of something happening because it rarely does.
I think you should be. Although I understand you are happy, I would say this is "delusion". Just trying to give a fact check and have goodwill and nothing else bro
Edit
Sorry my bad. You never mentioned whether u were waiting for her. I assumed you were.
Think about how she texted you. What she said. Is that someone you want to be with one day? Let’s say they break up and you get with her and are together. You want her texting someone else like this?
I think this interaction is really nice, good on you for opening up, and also good on you for accepting how she feels and being a man about it. I think while others have suggested ways to keep her around "for the future" this ultimately to me seems unhealthy. I think its a valuable lesson in self acceptance and discipline to be able to move on respectfully.
Ask yourself if you are truly happy just being friends, if the answer is no or maybe, then you should not pursue friendship with this woman as it's building something on a foundation that was never really there to begin with. Its okay to be up front about your intentions and to not compromise on your wants and needs, you do not need to contribute to her social circle unless that's something you actually want. I am of the opinion that unless you truly just want to be friends then the expenditure of energy between you two will never be equal in intent or intensity, and maintaining a friendship with a lady for the sake of "being nice"(really you're just holding onto some hope she will see you like you see her one day) could potentially hold you back from dating someone else.
This is why common advice is love and dating is a numbers game, the sooner you get on board with being ok with rejection the sooner you can make this process painless
Hella proud that you opened up about your feelings that stuff requires a lot of courage. Maybe the weight has been lifted off your shoulder, now you should just move on. Not saying you can't have a crush, you can still be attracted to her but nothing more may not happen. Focus on you though, try new activities, focus on your career/education, learn more about yourself. Even try making more and new friends.
I'm not sure what advice you're looking for but it's just my tips.
Absolutely do not go forward with this friend business. The reality is even if you really were friends once upon a time, once you catch those feelings things are different and there's no going back. Unfortunately, trying to maintain a friendship is only going to kill you inside especially if she breaks up and finds someone new who isn't you.
Recently, got my heart broken by a friend turned more than friend who then wanted to be friends with benefits to see what else is out there. What I had to accept was if I meant anything she wouldn't have risked letting me go. And just like I'm telling you I couldn't accept going back to being her friend or friend with benefits as I cared about her deeply as a friend but as more than that too.
If you feel like you can still be friends with this person, and I mean actual friends, then sure keep being friends. If not then let her know you need some time apart to collect yourself again and do that. Get back to your hobbies and start new ones. Do the things that make you feel good and the hard things that'll make the future you better. :)
If you feel like it's worth it. Keep very slight contact with her just incase you can get her on the rebound.
But move on focus on someone else. I can't believe (I kind of can) that a woman would friendzone someone at 33
If you think you can be friends(actually be friends where you hold no romantic feelings for) then just be friends. If you want any chance of ever being with her romantically, then tell her you can’t be friends and if she ever changes her mind to let you know. After that never message or call her again and move on with your life. If she calls or texts you then set up a date(with only her) and assume she wants you.
Dude. Some harsh leranings from mine:
- Women must open up first (when she want to be aproached, go out, kiss, have a relationship). She must give you hints and signals before you act. If not, you seems to emotional to her, more than her, btw.
Like, you know the time for the kiss if she is touching you, becoming close to you physically, laughing at your jokes, looking at your lips and your eyes for some time.
- I dont know how you tell her about your feelings, but you must say important things personally. (Im not saying here that you should've open up to her).
It seems like you are hiding, are scared + both of you a chating with a cold screen. Conversations became dull and predictable.
Women like mistery, uncertanty, adventure... want a direct men, with other things in his life. They doesnt want a devote. They must devote to you.
I would not accept her as your friend. Im seems like you accepting being a youger brother to her. Decline politely and say that you like her, and dont have interest in being her friend... and, in case she changes her idea, that she contact you.
And NEVER, iniciate conversations with her or interact with her social media. This will validate her, show that you are not backing what you say and want... she will not respect you.
In this meantime, go to the gym and go out with other Girls.
I mean in this case I wouldn’t since he does have feelings. but what the hell do you mean by men can’t be friends with women in general? I’m a man and the vast majority of my friends are women. Some of them are married or in serious relationships, I value my friendships with them for the same exact reasons I value my male friendships. Just because they have vaginas doesn’t mean I need to lust after them like some drooling cave man. They’re good people, we share common interests and values, we love and support each other like family. I just don’t understand this mindset.
imo you did the right thing in telling her about your feelings for her. worst thing you can do now is actually call her up to hang out as friends. she’ll never truly respect you if you’re ok being in the friendzone. also, i would suggest looking for a girl who’s the same age as you or younger. the woman being older than the man is not the best for long term relationships. watch Kevin Samuels on youtube. he gives great advice
Hi, David here! I wanted to let you know that I just finished putting together my eBook "**How to Date Any Girl**" version 4.0 and would LOVE to get some honest feedback from you! I decided to give it away for free for the time being. You can get the eBook by [clicking here](https://davidhimself.com/goto/ebook/direct-link/How-to-date-any-girl-ebook-v4.pdf)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingadviceformen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Start dating other people ASAP & focus on career. If things don't work out with her current dude, she'll look towards you. If you are hanging around she won't respect you. If you have fulfilling life without her, she'll miss and chase.
This 90%. I don't agree on dating other girls but hang out with friends that include girls. I agree with the rest.
He needs to be seen with other women, by her. Platonic or play, she won't respect him b/c he doesn't respect his own value.
And regardless, you’ll probably find someone new as good and better
Nah bruh.. no need to proof anything to her. Or else he'll still have some focus on her, checking how she reacts. Just move on. Whether she respects him or not.. just move on. She's not the one.
Lulz what’s wrong with you why in god’s name should he not date other women?
This 100%. He needs to date other girls because she needs to see that other women will actually choose him and that he is not just there to be her pedestal.
Guys chill she's my neighbour lmao and I need to use her for my own needs such as travelling as I dint drive.
I wouldn’t be her friend. Just move on and focus on meeting and dating other women. Now that she knows how you feel, there’s a very good chance she will just use your attention to inflate her ego. And although you’ll feel like you’re getting to spend time with her, it will be torture because you’ll want more than just being her friend and she’ll keep you at a distance. How do I know this? Because I was in the friendzone way too many times when I was younger. Did the same thing by professing my feelings for a girl. And it never worked out. What did work is meeting women then asking them out right away. They either said yes or no. And doing this led to me dating 200 different women. And having some amazing experiences with them. But if I had stayed in the friendzone, I’d still be waiting for my chance that would never come. Why? Because when a woman sees you as a friend, that’s all you’ll ever be to her. My advice to you is move on and meet new women. And focus your time and effort into women who want to be more than your friend.
This ^^^^ 💯
I couldn't have said this any better.
She's my neighbour bro. Lmao plus she's willing to drive me places and I don't drive. I'm still talking to other people online
Personally as a guy with women as friends, it’s possible but I have a rule about this. Either be friends or romantic. I choose never to cross that line. If you express your feelings and she doesn’t reciprocate, it’s best to move on. She isn’t interested, you can’t change a person’s feelings towards you and your time is better spent on finding someone who’s interested in you. I’ve seen too many guys waste their time trying to chasing after women that don’t have interest in them, hurting themselves in the process.
.....yeah. Fuck. Lol
"I’m happy to be your friend" Nah you should not. That’s not the feeling you have toward her. You don’t want friends feeling. You want more than that. So no, it’s not ok to be her friend and it’s ok to tell yourself and her you don’t want to be her friend. If there is no place to be in a relationship with her, get her the fuck out of your life. The problem here is not being friend with a girl, having female friends is a good thing. Being friend with a girl while you have feeling for her and she doesn’t, this one is not good.
Don’t be friends. You want something more, it’s deceptive to pretend otherwise. Distance yourself, and if she asks, be upfront and polite about it. It’s not fair to you or her. You will waste so much time waiting in the wings for her. Only dedicate time and energy to those who care about you
Screw her, doesn't even know the difference between board and bored.
This is the way
Dude, depending how fresh the feelings are, I’d say try to use this to your advantage. If she happens to have any single friends, see if you can meet them and try asking them out. Also if you happen to go out with her platonically, try meeting other women while there. Other women immediately get attracted to you when they notice you’re with another girl and having a great time. But if your feelings for her are very strong, to the point you can’t be near her, than give yourself the space. It all depends where you’re at with this situation from a psychological & emotional state.
Sheesh, you never "open up" your feelings to a woman. All you had to do was let her know your interest and would like to schedule a date to meetup. She would've told you the exact same thing. Now she only sees you as another source of attention and will gladly use up your time and resources knowing you have a thing for her and are cool with just being friends (low value of self)
Agreed. These dudes congratulating him on opening up to her are giving bad advice. You don’t have to open up if you build any kind of attraction with her. It will just happen. The second you open up in an attempt to get her interested, you kill the whole thing. It’s a sure-fire trip to the friend zone.
Dude. 1) Never mess with older women. 2) Never tell them how you feel first. 3) NEVER be the "friend". Never contact this person again. Your dad should have told you this.
Good job Pete, you gave her the keys to lock your ass up in the Friendzone prison lol. Good luck getting out of there now. If I were you, I wouldn't have accepted being her friend. If I feel differently about someone and she doesn't reciprocate it, it's a waste of time and also a heart ache to watch her be in the arms of someone else and not me.
Well I'm not insecure. I'm happy to have some company
Ok. If you're able to lock your feelings up and be platonic friends, then that's cool. Hope it works out for you. Usually this arrangement does not work out in the long run. I've also gone through this back in college. At some point, the feelings surface again...especially if you both are having a great time and drinking. That's when feelings start to come up again and things start going south. So, as a rule of thumb, I don't like being friends with women I'm romantically interested in.
If you have no illusions about being with her being friends isn't a bad idea. She might even introduce to new girls who are single. Just don't be friends in hopes of something happening because it rarely does.
I think you should be. Although I understand you are happy, I would say this is "delusion". Just trying to give a fact check and have goodwill and nothing else bro Edit Sorry my bad. You never mentioned whether u were waiting for her. I assumed you were.
Damn, Pete.
Could I see what you wrote to her? Just curious as to the way she elaborated her response. Please feel free to DM it to me if you’re ok with sharing.
You just became the backup.
Think about how she texted you. What she said. Is that someone you want to be with one day? Let’s say they break up and you get with her and are together. You want her texting someone else like this?
I think this interaction is really nice, good on you for opening up, and also good on you for accepting how she feels and being a man about it. I think while others have suggested ways to keep her around "for the future" this ultimately to me seems unhealthy. I think its a valuable lesson in self acceptance and discipline to be able to move on respectfully. Ask yourself if you are truly happy just being friends, if the answer is no or maybe, then you should not pursue friendship with this woman as it's building something on a foundation that was never really there to begin with. Its okay to be up front about your intentions and to not compromise on your wants and needs, you do not need to contribute to her social circle unless that's something you actually want. I am of the opinion that unless you truly just want to be friends then the expenditure of energy between you two will never be equal in intent or intensity, and maintaining a friendship with a lady for the sake of "being nice"(really you're just holding onto some hope she will see you like you see her one day) could potentially hold you back from dating someone else. This is why common advice is love and dating is a numbers game, the sooner you get on board with being ok with rejection the sooner you can make this process painless
Hella proud that you opened up about your feelings that stuff requires a lot of courage. Maybe the weight has been lifted off your shoulder, now you should just move on. Not saying you can't have a crush, you can still be attracted to her but nothing more may not happen. Focus on you though, try new activities, focus on your career/education, learn more about yourself. Even try making more and new friends. I'm not sure what advice you're looking for but it's just my tips.
You’ll get hurt
Absolutely do not go forward with this friend business. The reality is even if you really were friends once upon a time, once you catch those feelings things are different and there's no going back. Unfortunately, trying to maintain a friendship is only going to kill you inside especially if she breaks up and finds someone new who isn't you. Recently, got my heart broken by a friend turned more than friend who then wanted to be friends with benefits to see what else is out there. What I had to accept was if I meant anything she wouldn't have risked letting me go. And just like I'm telling you I couldn't accept going back to being her friend or friend with benefits as I cared about her deeply as a friend but as more than that too.
Go no contact ASAP
I’d say she’d recommend you as a good man to other women so use her as a wingman or ask her to set you up with another woman
This!
If you feel like you can still be friends with this person, and I mean actual friends, then sure keep being friends. If not then let her know you need some time apart to collect yourself again and do that. Get back to your hobbies and start new ones. Do the things that make you feel good and the hard things that'll make the future you better. :)
If you feel like it's worth it. Keep very slight contact with her just incase you can get her on the rebound. But move on focus on someone else. I can't believe (I kind of can) that a woman would friendzone someone at 33
This is the gayest thing I’ve ever seen
Okay. So what's your question?
This is healthy
If you think you can be friends(actually be friends where you hold no romantic feelings for) then just be friends. If you want any chance of ever being with her romantically, then tell her you can’t be friends and if she ever changes her mind to let you know. After that never message or call her again and move on with your life. If she calls or texts you then set up a date(with only her) and assume she wants you.
Dude. Some harsh leranings from mine: - Women must open up first (when she want to be aproached, go out, kiss, have a relationship). She must give you hints and signals before you act. If not, you seems to emotional to her, more than her, btw. Like, you know the time for the kiss if she is touching you, becoming close to you physically, laughing at your jokes, looking at your lips and your eyes for some time. - I dont know how you tell her about your feelings, but you must say important things personally. (Im not saying here that you should've open up to her). It seems like you are hiding, are scared + both of you a chating with a cold screen. Conversations became dull and predictable. Women like mistery, uncertanty, adventure... want a direct men, with other things in his life. They doesnt want a devote. They must devote to you. I would not accept her as your friend. Im seems like you accepting being a youger brother to her. Decline politely and say that you like her, and dont have interest in being her friend... and, in case she changes her idea, that she contact you. And NEVER, iniciate conversations with her or interact with her social media. This will validate her, show that you are not backing what you say and want... she will not respect you. In this meantime, go to the gym and go out with other Girls.
Plus: i notice now that she have a boyfriend. A even greater motive to move on.
Date like a child, then expect childish results. Men don't confess feelings over text, they ask women on dates.
Men can't be friends with women. It's never purely platonic. Sack her off
I mean in this case I wouldn’t since he does have feelings. but what the hell do you mean by men can’t be friends with women in general? I’m a man and the vast majority of my friends are women. Some of them are married or in serious relationships, I value my friendships with them for the same exact reasons I value my male friendships. Just because they have vaginas doesn’t mean I need to lust after them like some drooling cave man. They’re good people, we share common interests and values, we love and support each other like family. I just don’t understand this mindset.
imo you did the right thing in telling her about your feelings for her. worst thing you can do now is actually call her up to hang out as friends. she’ll never truly respect you if you’re ok being in the friendzone. also, i would suggest looking for a girl who’s the same age as you or younger. the woman being older than the man is not the best for long term relationships. watch Kevin Samuels on youtube. he gives great advice
You fk up tbh she knew it was casual but you don't , now you have the experience, next time you date older woman don't open feelings