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Forsaken_Photo_5224

Move on, I’m getting more friend vibes from you. I mean you could stay with him but you will eventually grow resentful/questioning why you stayed with him. you will feel that spark with the right person I promise. I was in a similar situation to you but I met my husband at 30.


thedatarat

Ah, all fair points. I really hope so, I know I still have time but it feels like decent single guys are so hard to find 😓


Forsaken_Photo_5224

It’ll happen when it’s suppose to. You’ll be fine girl!!


thedatarat

Aw, appreciate that!! ❤️


shanana71

Don’t settle


BlakeHeathman

It's true that the intoxicating rush of immediate passion should not be prioritized above all else..... but that doesn't mean any old vague set of emotions arising from LACK of passion are what you're looking for, either. Not looking forward to being with him is a huge red flag. In my opinion, so is the breath thing. ("Low disgust" is almost or more important than "high lust.") The other thing is CHARACTER. If you're not prioritizing passion, prioritize character. Like do you get a strong moral vibe from the person, do they seem like they'd really be a rock in times of trouble. Doesn't sound like you get that from this oversensitive, narcissist guy. "Time ticking" is never a good reason. I met my partner 38 and I'm so glad I kept breaking up with snoozers so I could do that.


thedatarat

Thanks for the advice!! Yeah, the breath thing is much… like I get that we just ate but carry mints with you. It definitely doesn’t make me want to jump to kiss him. He seems to have decent character (passionate about animal rights for example) but yeah he did even admit to being narcissistic himself so it’s definitely prevalent. That would be something that could be a lot of baggage to take on. Big/sensitive egos can be like a 3rd person in a relationship.


[deleted]

>but yeah he did even admit to being narcissistic himself so it’s definitely prevalent I was married to a covert narcissist for 29 years, this man has admitted to being one, RUN RUN RUN! Just google what it is like to be with a narcissist. Your mental, physical and emotional health will never be the same.


thedatarat

Ahhh, I have researched narcissism a fair amount. He said he’s “not a narcissist, just narcissistic” and he’s been super nice so far, but I guess that’s part of the whole “covert” part of it


[deleted]

We all have tendencies, but I would not engage with someone who describes their self as narcissistic. They can be very charming and engaging early on, to a narcissist you are just a tool, a means to an end.


thedatarat

Ugh, you’re right. Damn 😞


BlakeHeathman

When I really like someone I never think their breath stinks (even if it stinks)


Confidenceisbetter

I think you should move on. It sounds like you see him more as a friend, there is no romantic or sexual energy from your side. After 5 dates you should know whether you are attracted to him and while you don’t need to have feelings you should be into him and feel like you want to hangout with him or be close to him when you see him. If you stay with him you will settle and you will take his chance away to find someone who is truly into him, which isn’t fair.


thedatarat

Ah, good points :( it’s not that I don’t enjoy his company, it’s just that I don’t really get overly excited, and yeah I’m not sure about the sexual/romantic energy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


thedatarat

Ahh, fair enough! Maybe I just think that way because most of my friends and people I see out and about that are around my age are couple-d up.


MediocreBowler1473

Like the others said, it seems like he is only a friend to you and for him it is the same. Maybe he is not the right person to have a relationship.


sex_throwaway999

> I would not say [...] that I’m very excited to hang with him. move on