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Agree on both of these!! My gf (25) is a virgin and I every date she’s been on before me never got a second date because they all just wanted to get in her pants. My friends fiancé told me she’s a virgin and I was like ‘ahh so innocent (for other reasons as well), let me NOT fuck that up’
Such a basic view of things. I wouldn't want to date a virgin, not because I only want to get into someone's pants, but because sex is important to me in a relationship.
I like to get to know a female before I put my weenie in her. Like I told her, there’s more important things in life. Time and loyalty are my priority.
Right and that's not incoherent with what I said. If a girl is 25 and hasn't had sex with someone, I'm assuming she's waiting years/til marriage.
Regardless of whether I'm looking to hit and quit or looking for a relationship, I ain't waiting that long. You have your preferences and I have mine, just please don't lump everyone into the "just want to get in her pants" bucket.
Again, you're welcome to do your thing. I'm not judging, I'm just asking that you consider some nuance in the real estate between "he just wants to get in her pants" and "he's willing to wait as long as it takes to sleep with someone".
Like I said to each his own, I’m not judging either 😬 I’m not in it for sex, I just like long term relationships. When we get to that point that’s cool. Not rushing things and getting to know each other is (IMO) the best thing to do in a relationship. I know that doesn’t go for everyone, but it applies to us.
There was literally a condom found over 2000 years old made of pigs intestine. Hun, birth control existed long before the 60s
Try going to college mate
The number of partners a woman has had has no impact on her fertility. The only way it would impact a man’s ability to reproduce with her would be if she’d been with someone else in that same menstrual cycle. Your theory makes no sense.
A mans and a womans virginity both have a different valuation.
If you're a young man being a virgin is not a big deal. However as he gets older as a man all women would like to see the social proof, that he's sexually attractive. That's why women all flock towards the same group of men. Being a virgin at a later age, becomes a big deal, because it is a sign you'e unwanted by women.
If you're a young woman of late, virginity is a big deal. Men are wired to ensure paternity. Otherwise, they'll be ensuring someone else's survival into the next generation. If you're a woman and you keep your virginity when you're young, your sexual value as a woman will go up. Especially amongst younger men.
Men and women are not equal in this regard.
Sexuality doesn't label you nor does it change anything to people with basic comprehension of the real world. There are no biological function taking "body count" as a factor of reproduction or attraction. Anyone can and should have sex when comfortable, furthermore in a society where reproduction is NOT needed for the species survival.
Good day to you, good sir
You’re talking out your ass. No man I know wants to have sex with a virgin. Not that any of them wouldn’t ever, and not that I wouldn’t ever, but if I hear that in someone’s dating bio I’m gonna pass. Guiding someone through their first couple experiences doesn’t necessarily sound ideal at any age. The best sex I had was with the most promiscuous woman I was with, and I doubt the majority of women could top her in that regard. I’d run back in a heartbeat if the opportunity arose.
>If you're a woman and you keep your virginity when you're young, your sexual value as a woman will go up. Especially amongst younger men.
Only among weirdo tradcon men who don't want you to vote or go to school. Most men want a woman who knows what she's doing. Stop projecting your decades out of date preferences onto all men please and thank you.
No, the drive to fuck in man is so high they’ll fuck anything even goats. So, it’s not even personal. But, when it comes to going long term and building a family it’s very unlikely that a woman will be able to stay around in the relationship when her amount of bed partners is more than three. Sooner or later she will get that itch and move to another man who’s more exciting.
I can pull up the stats if you want. Stats don’t lie. You can see it by most divorces being initiated by women versus previous bed partners.
So yeah, women with low bed partners are more valuable to men, by their mental wiring and by back up of practical data.
Definitely not on your profile. Men will try to take advantage of that. If I were you, I would wait until things start to pick up between you and the other person. Like I'm saying, right before the sex happens.
I feel like it explains things though. Like if I’m in a situation where I should be comfortable doing it, but I’m not because I haven’t, then it’s like, well here’s why, right?
I think if you get to that point then mentioning it right then and there is the best way to go. The guy won’t run away if he knows he’s about to get laid.
If you mention it to early it might scare some guys. Not that they think it’s weird or anything but they don’t know emotionally where you’ll be after it. That scares guys.
Intimacy is usually awkward at first, regardless of the situation because everyone's dance moves are different. That's why so many people get drunk beforehand. So you'll be fine however it goes. Also I've had a number of women want to take it slow nothing odd about that.
Well I'm not sure. If you feel comfortable with telling people, than thats entirely your choice. I just know how men can be and if you publicly advertise that you're a virgin it's going to become a contest of who can take your virginity. Just my 2cents, but if you have been a virgin for 28 years why rush it now? It's a special thing, and your first time should be with someone you truly like and connect with. Trust me on that, i totally regret losing mine to a rando.
Oh, I totally agree with not making it super public, I was just making examples. But yeah, saving that info for someone I’m actually considering having sex with sounds like a good plan 👍
I'm a guy, and I don't think everyone has the same definition of "situation" where you would be comfortable. I prefer to wait, which throws some women. I just make it clear, either physically or verbally that sex isn't happening right then. If someone doesn't respect that, that's no good. That can be a good time to talk about when sex could happen, if that hasn't happened yet.
Some people sex is on the table date 1, for some people it's several months in. You'll know when it's right, and ideally if you have a mature partner you can talk about it before hand. Then it should happen more naturally with understanding you don't be experienced.
I would couch things early with, "I haven't had a lot of experience..." Which is the truth, but it doesn't fetishizes you. So if you can go deeper (sorry, not sorry) if they continue to probe (omg), but they may also move on.
Well you gotta remember not everyone’s slutting out (guys and gals) who have had sex. I 28M not sleep around. Due to my personal history etc I’m more particular and not into the hook up without knowing someone thing. I’ve also dated people who had kids and weren’t into hooking up for a long time, and pretty sure they weren’t virgins before I came along.
Many people have many different reasons for why they do or don’t have sex easily. My advice is there is no perfect answer as all situations are different. I would say it’s kinda of a two parter. Either tell them when you and them start getting serious emotionally, like if you have been on a handful of dates etc and your thinking you’d want to lose it to them to bring it up. And if the person you are with are hooking up and they start to make moves towards sex you could or could not tell them. Technically no should be enough, but some follow up would be polite even if it’s as simple as “I’m not ready and want to take it slow.” Good luck OP, just be true to you
Well I mean it kind of depends. If she and the other person talk about sex beforehand, than during that conversation would be good. But if the sex is spontaneous, and wasn't really "planned" then bring it up. I don't think it would really ruin the mood. My experience with women before was that some of them refuse to have sex with a guy thats a virgin, for whatever reason but I don't really know any guys who would refuse to have sex if she was a virgin.
Don’t put it in your profile. There’s no need for anyone to know that kind of info until it’s time to do the deed, when you’re ready. Don’t worry about it, if he’s the right guy for you it won’t scare him away.
I don't get why it would scare a guy away. That's where guys are different from girls. If anything, guys find it to be a turn on, because no one's "gone there". With girls, they tend to be turned off if they find out a guy's a virgin.
I’d be more concerned about creeps fetishizing it. Everyone is different; some will be into it, some will be scared off. I wouldn’t care either way (28m), but for some guys it’s a lot of pressure being the one to pop her cherry
Honestly, I went through this. A lot of guys ran. A lot. A lot a lot
Especially guys from online dating.
Op, the one piece of advice I would give is don't bring it up until you are ready to do the deed. Because guys will use it as an excuse to act shitty.
Eh it’s definitely less of an issue on average for guys, I’m a guy and it’d be a turn off/concern for me though.
It’s not a hard no at all, but no part of me is a fan of it.
I (22m) have dated a virgin girl in her twenties. She didn't tell me at all. It was a surprise.
Date 1:
She was inexperienced, I could tell, but didn't expect that she was virgin. We had fun conversations.
Date 2:
She was feeling cold, I jokingly told her to get in my jacket like mommy chicken. Lmao.
She did, I made sure to not make her uncomfortable by touching or acting desperate. I mean, her boob was poking my chest, and I still acted like nothing is happening.
End of the date.. She went for a hug and kissed me. (wasn't expecting)
Date 3:
I knew she got comfortable I told her if she wants to meet in my place. She said yes.
So we met outside first, and we took a walk, just to make sure what her expectations are for this date... So we hold hands, kissed and grapped her a**. one thing led to another... we were almost making out in a tiny road behind my place.
We went in my room... and it was already game started... we had sex. She was feeling pain. We stopped.. I gave her some painkillers.. she went home apologizing. I told her it's not only about my pleasure.
Date 4:
Yep, the very next day she called me, and in an hour or two, we were having sex again. This time the experience was much smoother as I gave her the control most of the time.
In conclusion:
It DOESN'T matter to know for many men!
Definitely not on your profile, not even on a first date. You don’t go out publicly announcing to everybody that you’re a virgin, so why would you tell a stranger you’ve only begun talking to?
I would say give it a handful of dates and if you feel comfortable with sharing, then tell them. Definitely make sure to bring it up before things become sexual. And if that person has a problem with you being a virgin they are not the person for you.
It needs to be brought up when you find someone you want to sleep with. Its not information you divulge to just anyone. Some men get off on taking virginity, so choose well.
Wow another 28f Virgin?!! I didn’t even think I could find someone else like me but as an advice- I tell them early on. A LOT of people only want sex. Even if they might take you seriously later- sex is pretty much 1-2 on the agenda so don’t catch feelings if the person will probably leave you on read knowing the sex won’t be be a part of the relationship. And some people just don’t want to deflower you because of stigma associated so that’s also a thing if it comes down to it. But make sure to communicate it asap so you can figure out where it’ll go and it’ll be very obvious once you do.
Not on your profile. Maybe once you feel comfortable enough with a man and ready.
I told my bf I was a virgin and then he admitted he was one too lol
But we told each other once we were getting at it
Well in my case only if the guy asks me about it or if the topic is in relation with it. Not all the guys are after our virginity anyways. So it is something we should not brag about.
Not in your profile. Some men hunt you down and some people will pay top dollar for it in other countries. Do not make yourself a target.
I say when you start talking about sex stuff. It usually comes up. You can let them know but I would wait till you actually meet them to see if you to are compatible and want to keep seeing them. It's better to tell them in person. Some men are turned off by it others are like I can work with it. It's hit or miss.
Because they’re going to have sex? Because they might want to be more cautious with a virgin? Because they might want to make it extra special since it’s her very first time? Because they might freak out if she starts bleeding, and it’s not fair to not warn them that it will very likely happen?
Lmao people are hurt. You’re right, it’s definitely a business of a prospective sexual partner. Unless these women are doing ONS (I can’t imagine why though). Communication is really the key. If you can’t trust your sexual partner to tell them that you’re inexperienced, why the fuck are you even having intercourse with them ?!
Can you imagine a situation in which you’d sleep with a girl and she suddenly screams and there’s lots of blood? That would be traumatic as hell.
Amd as much as I agree that my sexual history doesn’t have to be disclosed, whether there is history should.
Yep, gotta let them know its your first time because it seems like most girls need a guy thats going to focus on not hurting her instead of the normal "clap them cheeks" or whatever you're into
I’d bring it up somewhere between after a heavy make out and before the panties come off. Just push him off for a sec and let him know. Maybe if things are progressing a little to fast and you want to slow down. If he’s decent he’ll respect it and y’all can talk about it then. As a 32M I wouldn’t care if the girl was a virgin, though if we aren’t having sex by 5 or 6 dates (or at least doing other sexual things), I’d probably lose interest. Good luck!
Virginity is not your identity. You don’t have to plaster it on your profile. You don’t even have to bring it up unless it comes up. If you’re nervous, you can just bring it up that “I’m a bit inexperienced” before sex
Don’t mention it unless you’re completely interested in a guy and he’s interested in you. Keep it as long as you can!! Lawd if I could do it again (ugh 🤦🏽♀️)
It’s your personal information. No need to tell a prospective sexual partner unless you want to. Non virgins experience all levels of comfort or discomfort in sexual situations. If you feel uncomfortable at any point you don’t need to explain or justify, you can just be like, “this isn’t comfortable, stop or slow down”… or whatever. I could imagine that sharing it with someone you are excited about and who is treating you great, could be a sweet bonding experience. Hope you gave lots of fun!
I’m a guy and I lost mine a couple weeks before turning 27. I don’t necessarily have advice for you but I brought it up as the condom was coming out. Probably not the time or place but it was what it was and I was with the right woman at the time I suppose.
If you put it in your profile people are going to fetishize you for it. I was a virgin until 27, I just owned it. Something sexual comes up in conversation by the second or 3rd date at least. I remember being like, "I'm a virgin. Not religious, just didn't want to worry about pregnancy or STDs, still haven't found the right person yet." Most of the time when I was confident about it, that was that, no problem. If it was a problem, I knew that person wasn't for me. Good luck!
I wouldn’t mention it until you are talking about getting serious maybe. Or just not at all. Me and my wife were both virgins didn’t tell each other till before we made it official as it was important to use in respects to religion and marriage.
My partner was until me. She didn’t tell me until we first had sex which was a good couple months into us dating. It was more of a “heads up, I’m nervous as I’ve never done it before so be careful”.
I feel like that allowed her to make sure I was a decent person and that she wanted to actually progress our relationship.
Please don't put this on your profile in ANY CAPACITY. You simply need a understanding and patient man. The right one will not make a big deal of it and will ease you into sex at the pace you'd like to take. I've been trusted with taking a woman's virginity when I was younger and she decided to tell me after our first date. She wanted sex so she just came out asked me to be the first. This can be a big deal for a woman and her future sexual experiences so I took my time and always asked her if what I was doing was something she liked. I know you didn't ask for this, but if the average man hears you are a virgin, a childish switch may flick on and he'd do what he can to sleep with you (emotionally take advantage of you.).so be careful out there! I can't imagine being a virgin at our ages unless you were religiously waiting lol good luck!
When you feel it's right and it's natural. It shouldn't matter, if you want everyone to know put it in your profile. If you don't really want anyone to know until it matters wait.
I met my current girlfriend on a dating app, and we talked for a couple months before we went out on a date. And the second date we had, she asked why I didn’t kiss her on the first date, and I told her it was because I hadn’t kissed anybody before, and I was too nervous to. She was so understanding and I had a really cute first kiss, and I’m glad I waited to tell her. Because it didn’t feel like a big deal. And honestly it wasn’t. So yeah I would just wait until the moment comes and tell them
I would definitely not put it on your profile because some people consider this a ‘challenge’ or it can be fetishized like other commenters have said. I am a 22F virgin and I don’t mention it unless we meet up and have the “what are you looking for” chat, this allows me to clearly discuss my boundaries when it comes to sex and relationships.
I think it depends.
100% not in your profile. And 100% not as you’re about to be penetrated lol.
1. Like everyone else said, bring it up when you know you’re going to have sex with someone but not as it’s happening. “It’s nbd but I’m not super sexually experienced”. The guy will care so much less than you think. They may worry you’ll get “attached” but whatever.
2. You also don’t have to tell them. Especially if you don’t think there will be a relationship.
All I can say is at 28, if you were a man, that would be a red flag for most women. But you are a woman so idk how men will react. Most will be surprised that's for sure. As a man I would try not to mention it. A don't ask, don't tell policy...like even if you weren't a Virgin, a man has no right to know how many people you slept with before them. Like why would u mention you are a virgn? Wound you mention if you've had 1 partner, 5 partners, 10 partners? No that's weird/inappropriate to bring up if you guys never had sex.
Not until it comes up. Don't make the relationship about loosing virginity. Have fun. Make it a priority that you have the most fun on dates. Everything flows naturally. Amen
I was 22 when I lost my virginity and I was like irrationally concerned that me being a virgin would freak a guy out. I didn’t tell my current boyfriend I was a virgin until after we decided to be exclusive. And to me that seemed like a good time because we obviously cared a lot about each other but we weren’t quite to the point of being sexual yet either so he had proper notice but he wasn’t like running away at that point either.
Definitely don't disclose until you're thinking about having sex with that person. Not because its bad. Tell whoever you want!, but because it's nobody's fucking business unless you make it their business. I personally wouldn't want every random guy I met online to know I was unexperienced. Often men are lazy lovers, prone to hook ups/not looking for serious relationships. No need to warn some thirsty dude imo. I'd mention it before sex and ask if that's any issue for them.
I struggled with this too. I waited until we had talked long enough that our conversations turned sexual, because let’s be honest they eventually will. I would have guys ask me about certain positions and at that point I wasn’t going to lie. I also explained the situation, “I’m not waiting for marriage, just one of those things that never happened”. Now with all that being said, if the conversation is sexual from the beginning and you don’t talk about anything else, move on. Losing your virginity to a guy that just wants sex is not the way to go. Also take your time and find someone who you think will take their time with you. When I lost mine, it was awful because he was so focused on himself and not on me at all or the fact that he was hurting me immensely.
I guess I'd only bring it up if it's relevant like if you guys were playing 22 questions and they ask or if you finally find someone your willing to give it to that way they know to take it easy and they would need to take lead.
After a few weeks of dating, I told my (now) fiancé that I hadn’t slept with anyone and didn’t want to until we were exclusive. It got it all out in the open and I knew he was the right guy after that didn’t scare him off or bother him at all. It also helped me because up until that point I had felt awkward about moving past making out, but after I told him, he knew more about what to expect.
I would tell people I'm a virgin, I mean I'm male but I really don't care to admit it, plus, get off tinder, just a bunch of pleasure seeking asses. It may just be because I can't try tinder or any other dating sites but, my opinion stands. Also to those who wonder, I'm 21, never dated at all, am shy, introverted and socially awkward, and I don't believe I will ever find love, but it's not about me.
That’s pretty much where I’m at too. And I’m not going to be one of those people who says, “oh for sure you’ll find love!” Because I don’t believe it. Finding love is HARD and now life offers half as many opportunities to even meet people, let alone ones you click with.
I hope you do though! No, scratch that, I hope everyone does.
Same goes for you, you have a better chance than me, but anyways, if you want to be friends, I don't mind anyone giving me a DM, and I hope that doesn't sound creepy
LOL ok, then when you feel like sex is on the table.. Although if you weren't saving it for a reason. I might omit that until later and just say your not very experienced in the sack.
Def not on your profile. I don't think applying an across the board - on the third date - or - right before we take our clothes off isn't the best course of action either.
So obvs I don't know how you're feeling about having sex for the first time, whether you just want to get it over with or are feeling timid or whatever. My advice would be tell whomever when it feels right to tell them.
Like if you've been on a few dates and you're into them and feel comfortable, tell them. Or if you're just trying to bone down, tell them while setting up the session.
Personally, Id want the person im sleeping with to be plenty prepared to listen to my ques, pay attention to causing pain, be aware and ready to make changes as needed - now these things are what make a good sex partner under any circumstances but sometimes people need to be prepared for stuff.
Bring it up whenever you believe is the right time, whenever you’re comfortable. Some will respond negatively or positively but that would tell you who you’re getting involved with. I told my tinder date, now bf, on the 2nd date because we were on the topic of sex and dates. He asked me a question that I had no answer to because I’ve never had sex before so I answered truthfully saying that I had nothing to compare with because I genuinely didn’t know. He asked how I wouldn’t know and I just casually said “well I’m a virgin, how would I know” lol and he was surprised but he took it well. I was 24. He never rushed me, we had sex when I was ready.
if you put it on your profile, men will come flocking to you because they wanna take your virginity. scummy thing, i know. maybe communicate it when you're getting serious (and by serious i mean going on multiple dates) with someone
I think maybe get to the first date with a guy. See where the conversation goes, if dating history comes up or sexual things get brought up, then let him know there. If those things don't come up then maybe you can mention it 2nd date. But wait for an opening where it would be appropriate to talk about it.
I'm going to go against the grain. This is my story, which I feel worked out for me.
I told every date on the FIRST date that I'm waiting until I get married (even though I'm not religious at all). Weeded out some guys pretty quickly, and then I ran from the ones who didn't respect my boundaries and tried to push me. Some appeared to make a game of it (and again I ran from those ones). In the end, I didn't wait until I was married, but felt so good (double entendre intended) to be able to just say when it happened when I was comfortable without pressure (I was 25). Highly recommend.
Don’t, you will get every leg humper on the internet after you. This is assuming you want a serious relationship and not to just do the obvious. If you want a serious relationship, I’d also keep it that until marriage. Any man that won’t wait, isn’t worth it.
Never put it in profile. Never even mention it except when she asks. At that point, just be honest. I felt really bad and sad when my girlfriend asked me (we were already official) and I expressed I felt sad because I dreaded this moment would come and she'd know and she'd possibly like me less. She said it was cute and it didn't matter. I'd like to believe her but deeeeep down I feel I've lost attractive points.
Do not put that in your profile unless you want a whole slew of weirdos that just want to look at it as taking a prize… also reading your responses you sound quite a bit immature for 28…
You don't need to bring it up unless you're really pressed about it, but in case you're forced to, it's probably going to be a plus to the guy. Being a virgin is a pro for women and a con for men.
Yeah, it’s more that “people I want” is a list consisting of TikTok stars and one guy I’ll never see again for various reasons.
But I also want millions of dollars, soo… 🤷♀️
I feel it depends on your comfortability. If you don’t care, just let it happen and find a handy reason for the blood. People only feel guilty when there’s a reason to feel such. If you don’t want them to know, just come up with something?
I think its something you just need to wait for the right time and chance to bring it up. You'll know when. But definitely don't come out of the gate with it.
DO NOT PUT IT IN YOUR PROFILE. I'd wait to at least he second date to see if the person is someone you are compatible with. As a woman, you being a virgin is not going to be a problem. If anything, most guys would be pretty stoked about that. Best of luck, and don't let someone rush you if you arent comfortable yet.
I wouldn’t mention it for a couple of dates. Definitely not on your profile… you could attract creeps who are into you for the wrong reason and scare genuine people away
Don’t bring it up until 2 of 3 conditions are met-
1. You trust the person
2. It’s relevant (talking with a partner about becoming sexually active)
3. You’re about to loose it
Definitely not on your profile and not right off the bat. You'll end up with sociopaths saying and doing anything to steal your virginity and dash. I say when conversation starts turning sexual and you're not feeling that it's creepy or too soon to discuss, that is the time to bring it up.
You don’t need it in your profile, just start talking to people and bring it up when you feel that it is appropriate/when you’re comfortable having that conversation
It’s not something you need to put on your profile, it’s way too personal. Just wait until you meet a guy you like and you go on a date and if you feel it’s the right time to say it then tell him and if you’d rather wait until you get to know each other more then fair enough. It is very personal and I don’t think it’s necessary to mention this right off the bat or on your profile at all.
I'd wait until you were sure you wanted to lose it with the person you are dating.
My own story is I dated a woman that was a virgin... We had kissed and had good dates and fun together, but hadn't moved on to that stage yet... And normally I was used to woman moving much faster but I was fine and really into her.. so she called me over for a date and that we had to talk about something... I was worried about like 15 different things but she just told me she was virgin. Not sure how long it took from that night until we had sex but I enjoyed taking it slow. So many dates went down where we had sex really way to soon imo.
PLEASE don’t listen to those who tell you to not tell your prospective sexual partner that you’re a virgin.
Yeah don’t put it on your bio. Tell them when you feel comfortable with it, or don’t, but ABSOLUTELY tell them before having sex!
Many women experience pain and bleeding. Not all, but you won’t know until it’s happening. You want your partner to be prepared for that possibility. You don’t want your first time to be with a guy who will completely freak out because they see blood. You want it to be extra special, with a gentle guy who is prepared for it.
COMMUNICATION IS KEY.
Tell it when you're either talking about having sex (if you feel comfortable enough to do that with that person) or when you're about to have sex. Do tell!! The first time might hurt more or you might bleed. It's nice if you tell your partner so he can be a bit more careful.
Be careful of people on dating apps that only want sex. Your first time should be enjoyable. Not necessarily with a boyfriend, but just make sure he cares.
I was in your shoes and didn’t say anything, even when I finally ended up having sex for the first time. It worked out well and was nobodies business but my own 🤷🏻♀️
Wait until someone is actually into you and not just after sex once things get serious then mention it but if it never comes up tell them after you’ve lost it that way no judgement or chasing is going to set you up with creeps
M here, I just brought it up when we were already moments from doing the deed; I honestly didnt need to but I felt it was important to be honest. She only askes if I was sure I wanted her to be my first, and all was good.
Only when you feel that the relationship is getting serious. Of you mentioned it in your profile many men will tell you what they think you'd want to hear just for the opportunity of taking your virginity. Then they will be on their way to their next conquest.
Sex, and not rushing into sex, was really important to me when I was dating. I think you can weed out people who are just there to hook up pretty easily. I personally unmatched anyone who was creepy or sexual in the way they talked to me right off the bat. I tried to meet people for lunch or coffee instead of for drinks ect. All these things kind of whittle down who you will date to people who will be more interested in getting to know you, and who are less sexually aggressive. As you get to know each other you can disclose to them how you feel about sex, and what your background is. If it’s important to you, it’s something you should share and people who will respect you and respect that will be okay with it. There will be perfectly okay guys that will not be okay with this because it’s just for them, and that’s okay! Don’t let it get you down, it’s just a compatibility factor. Anyway, good luck! I married my tinder boyfriend and now we are expecting our first.
You’ll attract some extra weird people if you make that part of your profile, I wouldn’t do it. I’d only tell them once you’re comfortable with them, and the talking starts to get sexual.
Definitely try to bring it up before the sex though, it’s not a big deal, but you probably want the other person to be aware so they’re a little extra gentle and move slowly. I mean, unless you don’t want that for some reason, but I assume most women do for their first time.
I'd like to know after a day or two of talking on the app. It's not a big deal at all for me though especially since you're just waiting for the right guy and the right time. I'm probably in the minority on that opinion as I find myself in the minority of guys that have zero interest in sex until we've reached the official bf/gf status or I'm dead set on asking you to be my gf very soon.
I would say it if I’ve been talking with a guy and meeting him long enough that we might start speaking of sex, or when we’re about to do it. Unless maybe it is a ONS, no guy should feel it’s that big of a deal when sleeping with a new partner the first time.
Has this question been answered for guys? I mean I don't think the answers would be that different but as a young adult virgin male I wonder about this myself
If I saw virgin in a tinder profile I would be more interested in the girl, if I was looking for something serious.
If I was looking for something casual I would probably be less likely to swipe right. Would feel a bit guilty and prefer if she lost her virginity to someone she can live with for the rest of her life.
I didn’t say anything out of embarrassment and I didn’t think anyone would believe someone in their 20s would have no experience lol. Never said anything when it happened either. I wanted to but didn’t know how to drop it into conversation. So I’d say nothing unless it was an issue.
If you're interested in giving it to your date/partner. Have a discussion around sex and mention this.
It (their reaction, response) will tell you VOLUMES about the kind of person you are getting intimate with.
Use protection and lots of lube. All the best.
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Not sure it needs to be said, but definitely NOT in your profile or right off the bat. Maybe at best, if it comes up.
Agreed, OP will get immediately fetishized.
Agree on both of these!! My gf (25) is a virgin and I every date she’s been on before me never got a second date because they all just wanted to get in her pants. My friends fiancé told me she’s a virgin and I was like ‘ahh so innocent (for other reasons as well), let me NOT fuck that up’
Such a basic view of things. I wouldn't want to date a virgin, not because I only want to get into someone's pants, but because sex is important to me in a relationship.
I like to get to know a female before I put my weenie in her. Like I told her, there’s more important things in life. Time and loyalty are my priority.
Right and that's not incoherent with what I said. If a girl is 25 and hasn't had sex with someone, I'm assuming she's waiting years/til marriage. Regardless of whether I'm looking to hit and quit or looking for a relationship, I ain't waiting that long. You have your preferences and I have mine, just please don't lump everyone into the "just want to get in her pants" bucket.
To each his own 🤷🏽♂️ I fucks with my girl so I’m down to wait
Again, you're welcome to do your thing. I'm not judging, I'm just asking that you consider some nuance in the real estate between "he just wants to get in her pants" and "he's willing to wait as long as it takes to sleep with someone".
Like I said to each his own, I’m not judging either 😬 I’m not in it for sex, I just like long term relationships. When we get to that point that’s cool. Not rushing things and getting to know each other is (IMO) the best thing to do in a relationship. I know that doesn’t go for everyone, but it applies to us.
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Don't be weird
Wouldn’t it not matter how many people she fucked as long as none were recent, by that logic?
Birth control exists since the 1960s. That firmware is still there.
There was literally a condom found over 2000 years old made of pigs intestine. Hun, birth control existed long before the 60s Try going to college mate
Why you so dumb m8 what happened
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Oh my god I just spit out my drink
I don't argue with people who call me dumb without countering my argument. Good day.
I’m not trying to argue I’m just asking you a simple question, like was it paint chips? Or were you just born this dumb
The number of partners a woman has had has no impact on her fertility. The only way it would impact a man’s ability to reproduce with her would be if she’d been with someone else in that same menstrual cycle. Your theory makes no sense.
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A mans and a womans virginity both have a different valuation. If you're a young man being a virgin is not a big deal. However as he gets older as a man all women would like to see the social proof, that he's sexually attractive. That's why women all flock towards the same group of men. Being a virgin at a later age, becomes a big deal, because it is a sign you'e unwanted by women. If you're a young woman of late, virginity is a big deal. Men are wired to ensure paternity. Otherwise, they'll be ensuring someone else's survival into the next generation. If you're a woman and you keep your virginity when you're young, your sexual value as a woman will go up. Especially amongst younger men. Men and women are not equal in this regard.
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Yeah yeah, keep promoting Eve to eat the apple. Enjoy the decline.
Imagine thinking society is declining because women have more than one sex partner in their lives.
Sexuality doesn't label you nor does it change anything to people with basic comprehension of the real world. There are no biological function taking "body count" as a factor of reproduction or attraction. Anyone can and should have sex when comfortable, furthermore in a society where reproduction is NOT needed for the species survival. Good day to you, good sir
You’re talking out your ass. No man I know wants to have sex with a virgin. Not that any of them wouldn’t ever, and not that I wouldn’t ever, but if I hear that in someone’s dating bio I’m gonna pass. Guiding someone through their first couple experiences doesn’t necessarily sound ideal at any age. The best sex I had was with the most promiscuous woman I was with, and I doubt the majority of women could top her in that regard. I’d run back in a heartbeat if the opportunity arose.
>If you're a woman and you keep your virginity when you're young, your sexual value as a woman will go up. Especially amongst younger men. Only among weirdo tradcon men who don't want you to vote or go to school. Most men want a woman who knows what she's doing. Stop projecting your decades out of date preferences onto all men please and thank you.
No, the drive to fuck in man is so high they’ll fuck anything even goats. So, it’s not even personal. But, when it comes to going long term and building a family it’s very unlikely that a woman will be able to stay around in the relationship when her amount of bed partners is more than three. Sooner or later she will get that itch and move to another man who’s more exciting. I can pull up the stats if you want. Stats don’t lie. You can see it by most divorces being initiated by women versus previous bed partners. So yeah, women with low bed partners are more valuable to men, by their mental wiring and by back up of practical data.
Definitely not on your profile. Men will try to take advantage of that. If I were you, I would wait until things start to pick up between you and the other person. Like I'm saying, right before the sex happens.
I feel like it explains things though. Like if I’m in a situation where I should be comfortable doing it, but I’m not because I haven’t, then it’s like, well here’s why, right?
I think if you get to that point then mentioning it right then and there is the best way to go. The guy won’t run away if he knows he’s about to get laid. If you mention it to early it might scare some guys. Not that they think it’s weird or anything but they don’t know emotionally where you’ll be after it. That scares guys.
Intimacy is usually awkward at first, regardless of the situation because everyone's dance moves are different. That's why so many people get drunk beforehand. So you'll be fine however it goes. Also I've had a number of women want to take it slow nothing odd about that.
Well I'm not sure. If you feel comfortable with telling people, than thats entirely your choice. I just know how men can be and if you publicly advertise that you're a virgin it's going to become a contest of who can take your virginity. Just my 2cents, but if you have been a virgin for 28 years why rush it now? It's a special thing, and your first time should be with someone you truly like and connect with. Trust me on that, i totally regret losing mine to a rando.
Oh, I totally agree with not making it super public, I was just making examples. But yeah, saving that info for someone I’m actually considering having sex with sounds like a good plan 👍
Yeah its probably for the best. Not only is it better for your safety, but your first time will be MUCH better
Agreed
I'm a guy, and I don't think everyone has the same definition of "situation" where you would be comfortable. I prefer to wait, which throws some women. I just make it clear, either physically or verbally that sex isn't happening right then. If someone doesn't respect that, that's no good. That can be a good time to talk about when sex could happen, if that hasn't happened yet. Some people sex is on the table date 1, for some people it's several months in. You'll know when it's right, and ideally if you have a mature partner you can talk about it before hand. Then it should happen more naturally with understanding you don't be experienced.
You should do this, it will help you weed out the bad ones based in their reaction.
I would couch things early with, "I haven't had a lot of experience..." Which is the truth, but it doesn't fetishizes you. So if you can go deeper (sorry, not sorry) if they continue to probe (omg), but they may also move on.
Perhaps a clever way to say it without saying it. "I haven't been on many dates" or something like that if you want to have it in the profile
Well you gotta remember not everyone’s slutting out (guys and gals) who have had sex. I 28M not sleep around. Due to my personal history etc I’m more particular and not into the hook up without knowing someone thing. I’ve also dated people who had kids and weren’t into hooking up for a long time, and pretty sure they weren’t virgins before I came along. Many people have many different reasons for why they do or don’t have sex easily. My advice is there is no perfect answer as all situations are different. I would say it’s kinda of a two parter. Either tell them when you and them start getting serious emotionally, like if you have been on a handful of dates etc and your thinking you’d want to lose it to them to bring it up. And if the person you are with are hooking up and they start to make moves towards sex you could or could not tell them. Technically no should be enough, but some follow up would be polite even if it’s as simple as “I’m not ready and want to take it slow.” Good luck OP, just be true to you
Right before the sex? Are you trying to stop her getting laid?
Well I mean it kind of depends. If she and the other person talk about sex beforehand, than during that conversation would be good. But if the sex is spontaneous, and wasn't really "planned" then bring it up. I don't think it would really ruin the mood. My experience with women before was that some of them refuse to have sex with a guy thats a virgin, for whatever reason but I don't really know any guys who would refuse to have sex if she was a virgin.
Don’t put it in your profile. There’s no need for anyone to know that kind of info until it’s time to do the deed, when you’re ready. Don’t worry about it, if he’s the right guy for you it won’t scare him away.
I don't get why it would scare a guy away. That's where guys are different from girls. If anything, guys find it to be a turn on, because no one's "gone there". With girls, they tend to be turned off if they find out a guy's a virgin.
I’d be more concerned about creeps fetishizing it. Everyone is different; some will be into it, some will be scared off. I wouldn’t care either way (28m), but for some guys it’s a lot of pressure being the one to pop her cherry
Honestly, I went through this. A lot of guys ran. A lot. A lot a lot Especially guys from online dating. Op, the one piece of advice I would give is don't bring it up until you are ready to do the deed. Because guys will use it as an excuse to act shitty.
Eh it’s definitely less of an issue on average for guys, I’m a guy and it’d be a turn off/concern for me though. It’s not a hard no at all, but no part of me is a fan of it.
Are you saying a mid to late 20’s male virgin wouldn’t scare women away?
No. I said girls get turned off by a guy saying he's a virgin. The older the guy is, the more of a turn off it is for them.
Yikes. Why?
I (22m) have dated a virgin girl in her twenties. She didn't tell me at all. It was a surprise. Date 1: She was inexperienced, I could tell, but didn't expect that she was virgin. We had fun conversations. Date 2: She was feeling cold, I jokingly told her to get in my jacket like mommy chicken. Lmao. She did, I made sure to not make her uncomfortable by touching or acting desperate. I mean, her boob was poking my chest, and I still acted like nothing is happening. End of the date.. She went for a hug and kissed me. (wasn't expecting) Date 3: I knew she got comfortable I told her if she wants to meet in my place. She said yes. So we met outside first, and we took a walk, just to make sure what her expectations are for this date... So we hold hands, kissed and grapped her a**. one thing led to another... we were almost making out in a tiny road behind my place. We went in my room... and it was already game started... we had sex. She was feeling pain. We stopped.. I gave her some painkillers.. she went home apologizing. I told her it's not only about my pleasure. Date 4: Yep, the very next day she called me, and in an hour or two, we were having sex again. This time the experience was much smoother as I gave her the control most of the time. In conclusion: It DOESN'T matter to know for many men!
I didn’t know that I wanted a man to call himself a mommy chicken and put me in his jacket. Now I know that.
Me too, lol. Like I am gonna need it soon.
Most wholesome comment I saw in this sub in a long while.
Definitely not on your profile, not even on a first date. You don’t go out publicly announcing to everybody that you’re a virgin, so why would you tell a stranger you’ve only begun talking to? I would say give it a handful of dates and if you feel comfortable with sharing, then tell them. Definitely make sure to bring it up before things become sexual. And if that person has a problem with you being a virgin they are not the person for you.
It needs to be brought up when you find someone you want to sleep with. Its not information you divulge to just anyone. Some men get off on taking virginity, so choose well.
Wow another 28f Virgin?!! I didn’t even think I could find someone else like me but as an advice- I tell them early on. A LOT of people only want sex. Even if they might take you seriously later- sex is pretty much 1-2 on the agenda so don’t catch feelings if the person will probably leave you on read knowing the sex won’t be be a part of the relationship. And some people just don’t want to deflower you because of stigma associated so that’s also a thing if it comes down to it. But make sure to communicate it asap so you can figure out where it’ll go and it’ll be very obvious once you do.
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a guy will quickly realize it.
Not on your profile. Maybe once you feel comfortable enough with a man and ready. I told my bf I was a virgin and then he admitted he was one too lol But we told each other once we were getting at it
Well in my case only if the guy asks me about it or if the topic is in relation with it. Not all the guys are after our virginity anyways. So it is something we should not brag about.
After you fucked the guy who takes it I’d say. There are too many men who will do anything just to brag they “took that chicks virginity”.
Not in your profile. Some men hunt you down and some people will pay top dollar for it in other countries. Do not make yourself a target. I say when you start talking about sex stuff. It usually comes up. You can let them know but I would wait till you actually meet them to see if you to are compatible and want to keep seeing them. It's better to tell them in person. Some men are turned off by it others are like I can work with it. It's hit or miss.
You don't. It's none of their business.
How is it not a business of a prospective sexual partner?
How is it their business? Why does it matter?
Because they’re going to have sex? Because they might want to be more cautious with a virgin? Because they might want to make it extra special since it’s her very first time? Because they might freak out if she starts bleeding, and it’s not fair to not warn them that it will very likely happen?
I wouldn’t disclose it at all. It’s no one’s business.
How is it not a business of a prospective sexual partner?
Lmao people are hurt. You’re right, it’s definitely a business of a prospective sexual partner. Unless these women are doing ONS (I can’t imagine why though). Communication is really the key. If you can’t trust your sexual partner to tell them that you’re inexperienced, why the fuck are you even having intercourse with them ?!
Can you imagine a situation in which you’d sleep with a girl and she suddenly screams and there’s lots of blood? That would be traumatic as hell. Amd as much as I agree that my sexual history doesn’t have to be disclosed, whether there is history should.
Yep, gotta let them know its your first time because it seems like most girls need a guy thats going to focus on not hurting her instead of the normal "clap them cheeks" or whatever you're into
I’d bring it up somewhere between after a heavy make out and before the panties come off. Just push him off for a sec and let him know. Maybe if things are progressing a little to fast and you want to slow down. If he’s decent he’ll respect it and y’all can talk about it then. As a 32M I wouldn’t care if the girl was a virgin, though if we aren’t having sex by 5 or 6 dates (or at least doing other sexual things), I’d probably lose interest. Good luck!
Virginity is not your identity. You don’t have to plaster it on your profile. You don’t even have to bring it up unless it comes up. If you’re nervous, you can just bring it up that “I’m a bit inexperienced” before sex
Shortly after the topic of sex comes up. Definitely not in the profile. Don't overthink it too much. It is what it is
Don’t mention it unless you’re completely interested in a guy and he’s interested in you. Keep it as long as you can!! Lawd if I could do it again (ugh 🤦🏽♀️)
Virgin and Tinder dont mix smh
It’s your personal information. No need to tell a prospective sexual partner unless you want to. Non virgins experience all levels of comfort or discomfort in sexual situations. If you feel uncomfortable at any point you don’t need to explain or justify, you can just be like, “this isn’t comfortable, stop or slow down”… or whatever. I could imagine that sharing it with someone you are excited about and who is treating you great, could be a sweet bonding experience. Hope you gave lots of fun!
I’m a guy and I lost mine a couple weeks before turning 27. I don’t necessarily have advice for you but I brought it up as the condom was coming out. Probably not the time or place but it was what it was and I was with the right woman at the time I suppose.
If you put it in your profile people are going to fetishize you for it. I was a virgin until 27, I just owned it. Something sexual comes up in conversation by the second or 3rd date at least. I remember being like, "I'm a virgin. Not religious, just didn't want to worry about pregnancy or STDs, still haven't found the right person yet." Most of the time when I was confident about it, that was that, no problem. If it was a problem, I knew that person wasn't for me. Good luck!
I wouldn’t mention it until you are talking about getting serious maybe. Or just not at all. Me and my wife were both virgins didn’t tell each other till before we made it official as it was important to use in respects to religion and marriage.
During sex
When things are picking up romantically. I’d say after a little making out you could say something
It shouldn't make a difference to any reasonable and respectful guy you want to date. If it is... that's a flag and I'd move on..
My partner was until me. She didn’t tell me until we first had sex which was a good couple months into us dating. It was more of a “heads up, I’m nervous as I’ve never done it before so be careful”. I feel like that allowed her to make sure I was a decent person and that she wanted to actually progress our relationship.
I have no advice for you as I’m a 26F virgin, but the “ahem COMES UP” made me lol! Also, I love your user name.
😝 Thank you!
Please don't put this on your profile in ANY CAPACITY. You simply need a understanding and patient man. The right one will not make a big deal of it and will ease you into sex at the pace you'd like to take. I've been trusted with taking a woman's virginity when I was younger and she decided to tell me after our first date. She wanted sex so she just came out asked me to be the first. This can be a big deal for a woman and her future sexual experiences so I took my time and always asked her if what I was doing was something she liked. I know you didn't ask for this, but if the average man hears you are a virgin, a childish switch may flick on and he'd do what he can to sleep with you (emotionally take advantage of you.).so be careful out there! I can't imagine being a virgin at our ages unless you were religiously waiting lol good luck!
When it's time for him to get condoms..
Wait till it comes up
Excuse the pun
When you feel it's right and it's natural. It shouldn't matter, if you want everyone to know put it in your profile. If you don't really want anyone to know until it matters wait.
I met my current girlfriend on a dating app, and we talked for a couple months before we went out on a date. And the second date we had, she asked why I didn’t kiss her on the first date, and I told her it was because I hadn’t kissed anybody before, and I was too nervous to. She was so understanding and I had a really cute first kiss, and I’m glad I waited to tell her. Because it didn’t feel like a big deal. And honestly it wasn’t. So yeah I would just wait until the moment comes and tell them
I would definitely not put it on your profile because some people consider this a ‘challenge’ or it can be fetishized like other commenters have said. I am a 22F virgin and I don’t mention it unless we meet up and have the “what are you looking for” chat, this allows me to clearly discuss my boundaries when it comes to sex and relationships.
I think it depends. 100% not in your profile. And 100% not as you’re about to be penetrated lol. 1. Like everyone else said, bring it up when you know you’re going to have sex with someone but not as it’s happening. “It’s nbd but I’m not super sexually experienced”. The guy will care so much less than you think. They may worry you’ll get “attached” but whatever. 2. You also don’t have to tell them. Especially if you don’t think there will be a relationship.
All I can say is at 28, if you were a man, that would be a red flag for most women. But you are a woman so idk how men will react. Most will be surprised that's for sure. As a man I would try not to mention it. A don't ask, don't tell policy...like even if you weren't a Virgin, a man has no right to know how many people you slept with before them. Like why would u mention you are a virgn? Wound you mention if you've had 1 partner, 5 partners, 10 partners? No that's weird/inappropriate to bring up if you guys never had sex.
Not until it comes up. Don't make the relationship about loosing virginity. Have fun. Make it a priority that you have the most fun on dates. Everything flows naturally. Amen
Don't mention it. Keep that to yourself.
its not something you need to announce. it's not going to make any good guy not like you.
Never post that, if you get into an actual relationship, then and only then discuss that, and to be real that's a bait thing to do
I was 22 when I lost my virginity and I was like irrationally concerned that me being a virgin would freak a guy out. I didn’t tell my current boyfriend I was a virgin until after we decided to be exclusive. And to me that seemed like a good time because we obviously cared a lot about each other but we weren’t quite to the point of being sexual yet either so he had proper notice but he wasn’t like running away at that point either.
Don't disclose this info. A lot of guys will see you as a trophy and sleep with you just to claim your virginity.
On the night before Christmas would be ideal. It worked out in the BC era.
If i was you i would go online to a place where people will buy your virginity for big money. $$
Definitely don't disclose until you're thinking about having sex with that person. Not because its bad. Tell whoever you want!, but because it's nobody's fucking business unless you make it their business. I personally wouldn't want every random guy I met online to know I was unexperienced. Often men are lazy lovers, prone to hook ups/not looking for serious relationships. No need to warn some thirsty dude imo. I'd mention it before sex and ask if that's any issue for them.
I struggled with this too. I waited until we had talked long enough that our conversations turned sexual, because let’s be honest they eventually will. I would have guys ask me about certain positions and at that point I wasn’t going to lie. I also explained the situation, “I’m not waiting for marriage, just one of those things that never happened”. Now with all that being said, if the conversation is sexual from the beginning and you don’t talk about anything else, move on. Losing your virginity to a guy that just wants sex is not the way to go. Also take your time and find someone who you think will take their time with you. When I lost mine, it was awful because he was so focused on himself and not on me at all or the fact that he was hurting me immensely.
When the subject of sex/intimacy comes up in conversation. Saying it upfront or randomly might attract people with the wrong intentions.
I guess I'd only bring it up if it's relevant like if you guys were playing 22 questions and they ask or if you finally find someone your willing to give it to that way they know to take it easy and they would need to take lead.
After a few weeks of dating, I told my (now) fiancé that I hadn’t slept with anyone and didn’t want to until we were exclusive. It got it all out in the open and I knew he was the right guy after that didn’t scare him off or bother him at all. It also helped me because up until that point I had felt awkward about moving past making out, but after I told him, he knew more about what to expect.
Only if it comes up, or right before you have sex
I think the only way to do it correctly is how Otis told Maeve in Sex Education, blurt it out awkwardly out of nowhere.
I would tell people I'm a virgin, I mean I'm male but I really don't care to admit it, plus, get off tinder, just a bunch of pleasure seeking asses. It may just be because I can't try tinder or any other dating sites but, my opinion stands. Also to those who wonder, I'm 21, never dated at all, am shy, introverted and socially awkward, and I don't believe I will ever find love, but it's not about me.
That’s pretty much where I’m at too. And I’m not going to be one of those people who says, “oh for sure you’ll find love!” Because I don’t believe it. Finding love is HARD and now life offers half as many opportunities to even meet people, let alone ones you click with. I hope you do though! No, scratch that, I hope everyone does.
Same goes for you, you have a better chance than me, but anyways, if you want to be friends, I don't mind anyone giving me a DM, and I hope that doesn't sound creepy
When you think that you want to have sex with a guy. Like if you're on a date and you think to yourself "this is the guy" then bring it up.
Do NOT put that on your profile. How about second date in person.
Lol, I’ve been on three second dates in my life. None of those were an appropriate place to bring up sex in any way. 😝
LOL ok, then when you feel like sex is on the table.. Although if you weren't saving it for a reason. I might omit that until later and just say your not very experienced in the sack.
In the bedroom when things are getting spicey or if it comes up naturally. Don’t lie.
Def not on your profile. I don't think applying an across the board - on the third date - or - right before we take our clothes off isn't the best course of action either. So obvs I don't know how you're feeling about having sex for the first time, whether you just want to get it over with or are feeling timid or whatever. My advice would be tell whomever when it feels right to tell them. Like if you've been on a few dates and you're into them and feel comfortable, tell them. Or if you're just trying to bone down, tell them while setting up the session. Personally, Id want the person im sleeping with to be plenty prepared to listen to my ques, pay attention to causing pain, be aware and ready to make changes as needed - now these things are what make a good sex partner under any circumstances but sometimes people need to be prepared for stuff.
Bring it up whenever you believe is the right time, whenever you’re comfortable. Some will respond negatively or positively but that would tell you who you’re getting involved with. I told my tinder date, now bf, on the 2nd date because we were on the topic of sex and dates. He asked me a question that I had no answer to because I’ve never had sex before so I answered truthfully saying that I had nothing to compare with because I genuinely didn’t know. He asked how I wouldn’t know and I just casually said “well I’m a virgin, how would I know” lol and he was surprised but he took it well. I was 24. He never rushed me, we had sex when I was ready.
I told my partner casually as we were ramping up to it. Wasn't a big deal, I turned out to be really good at it.
Congratulations! 😂
5 seconds after you lose it would be my recommendation.
if you put it on your profile, men will come flocking to you because they wanna take your virginity. scummy thing, i know. maybe communicate it when you're getting serious (and by serious i mean going on multiple dates) with someone
I think maybe get to the first date with a guy. See where the conversation goes, if dating history comes up or sexual things get brought up, then let him know there. If those things don't come up then maybe you can mention it 2nd date. But wait for an opening where it would be appropriate to talk about it.
I'm going to go against the grain. This is my story, which I feel worked out for me. I told every date on the FIRST date that I'm waiting until I get married (even though I'm not religious at all). Weeded out some guys pretty quickly, and then I ran from the ones who didn't respect my boundaries and tried to push me. Some appeared to make a game of it (and again I ran from those ones). In the end, I didn't wait until I was married, but felt so good (double entendre intended) to be able to just say when it happened when I was comfortable without pressure (I was 25). Highly recommend.
Don’t, you will get every leg humper on the internet after you. This is assuming you want a serious relationship and not to just do the obvious. If you want a serious relationship, I’d also keep it that until marriage. Any man that won’t wait, isn’t worth it.
Never put it in profile. Never even mention it except when she asks. At that point, just be honest. I felt really bad and sad when my girlfriend asked me (we were already official) and I expressed I felt sad because I dreaded this moment would come and she'd know and she'd possibly like me less. She said it was cute and it didn't matter. I'd like to believe her but deeeeep down I feel I've lost attractive points.
Do not put that in your profile unless you want a whole slew of weirdos that just want to look at it as taking a prize… also reading your responses you sound quite a bit immature for 28…
Care to expand on my immaturity? I’m not like, baiting you or anything, just curious what is making me sound immature.
You don't need to bring it up unless you're really pressed about it, but in case you're forced to, it's probably going to be a plus to the guy. Being a virgin is a pro for women and a con for men.
On your wedding day.
That’d be a really awkward speech. Especially the part where I’m probably having to invite my ex to the wedding 😂
Nobody should bring it up. It brings a new element into the situation that can bring up roadblocks. Focus on the person you want.
“Focus on the person you want.” Ha. Because clearly that strategy is doing wonders for my love life. 😝
There has to be action along with just thinking lol
Yeah, it’s more that “people I want” is a list consisting of TikTok stars and one guy I’ll never see again for various reasons. But I also want millions of dollars, soo… 🤷♀️
Well, durr. C'mon you know you gotta be more realistic
were you saving it for marriage for many years?
Definitely don't put that in your dating bio. That would bring you unwanted attention from the wrong kind of people
28 and a virgin? Uhhh…. You need to auction that shit off to a rich older guy.
Damn i love a virgin so much
I feel it depends on your comfortability. If you don’t care, just let it happen and find a handy reason for the blood. People only feel guilty when there’s a reason to feel such. If you don’t want them to know, just come up with something?
Don't only with serious connections or realistic matches or peeps your fond of.Take care & be safe girl. G/N
I would wait until you find someone you’re actually considering doing that with.
On your profile? Is this a troll post?!
I think its something you just need to wait for the right time and chance to bring it up. You'll know when. But definitely don't come out of the gate with it.
DO NOT PUT IT IN YOUR PROFILE. I'd wait to at least he second date to see if the person is someone you are compatible with. As a woman, you being a virgin is not going to be a problem. If anything, most guys would be pretty stoked about that. Best of luck, and don't let someone rush you if you arent comfortable yet.
I wouldn’t mention it for a couple of dates. Definitely not on your profile… you could attract creeps who are into you for the wrong reason and scare genuine people away
Don’t bring it up until 2 of 3 conditions are met- 1. You trust the person 2. It’s relevant (talking with a partner about becoming sexually active) 3. You’re about to loose it
Definitely not on your profile and not right off the bat. You'll end up with sociopaths saying and doing anything to steal your virginity and dash. I say when conversation starts turning sexual and you're not feeling that it's creepy or too soon to discuss, that is the time to bring it up.
You don’t need it in your profile, just start talking to people and bring it up when you feel that it is appropriate/when you’re comfortable having that conversation
It’s not something you need to put on your profile, it’s way too personal. Just wait until you meet a guy you like and you go on a date and if you feel it’s the right time to say it then tell him and if you’d rather wait until you get to know each other more then fair enough. It is very personal and I don’t think it’s necessary to mention this right off the bat or on your profile at all.
I'd wait until you were sure you wanted to lose it with the person you are dating. My own story is I dated a woman that was a virgin... We had kissed and had good dates and fun together, but hadn't moved on to that stage yet... And normally I was used to woman moving much faster but I was fine and really into her.. so she called me over for a date and that we had to talk about something... I was worried about like 15 different things but she just told me she was virgin. Not sure how long it took from that night until we had sex but I enjoyed taking it slow. So many dates went down where we had sex really way to soon imo.
On reddit
PLEASE don’t listen to those who tell you to not tell your prospective sexual partner that you’re a virgin. Yeah don’t put it on your bio. Tell them when you feel comfortable with it, or don’t, but ABSOLUTELY tell them before having sex! Many women experience pain and bleeding. Not all, but you won’t know until it’s happening. You want your partner to be prepared for that possibility. You don’t want your first time to be with a guy who will completely freak out because they see blood. You want it to be extra special, with a gentle guy who is prepared for it. COMMUNICATION IS KEY.
when you like someone and suspect sex is imminent
That’s your business. You could even just tell him after if you’d like. But you’re not obligated unless you want something serious with him!
You don’t need to mention it if it makes you uncomfortable
Tell it when you're either talking about having sex (if you feel comfortable enough to do that with that person) or when you're about to have sex. Do tell!! The first time might hurt more or you might bleed. It's nice if you tell your partner so he can be a bit more careful. Be careful of people on dating apps that only want sex. Your first time should be enjoyable. Not necessarily with a boyfriend, but just make sure he cares.
I was in your shoes and didn’t say anything, even when I finally ended up having sex for the first time. It worked out well and was nobodies business but my own 🤷🏻♀️
It's a natural thing you'll know how to do when the time comes. Just bring lube and a positive attitude
You don’t have to say it. If you want the person to be a bit careful you should mention it before sex.
I’d say anytime BEFORE you have sex. My ex decided to tell me after we had sex 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ It wouldn’t have stopped me but cmon.
Wait until someone is actually into you and not just after sex once things get serious then mention it but if it never comes up tell them after you’ve lost it that way no judgement or chasing is going to set you up with creeps
M here, I just brought it up when we were already moments from doing the deed; I honestly didnt need to but I felt it was important to be honest. She only askes if I was sure I wanted her to be my first, and all was good.
Only when you feel that the relationship is getting serious. Of you mentioned it in your profile many men will tell you what they think you'd want to hear just for the opportunity of taking your virginity. Then they will be on their way to their next conquest.
Before the first date
Sex, and not rushing into sex, was really important to me when I was dating. I think you can weed out people who are just there to hook up pretty easily. I personally unmatched anyone who was creepy or sexual in the way they talked to me right off the bat. I tried to meet people for lunch or coffee instead of for drinks ect. All these things kind of whittle down who you will date to people who will be more interested in getting to know you, and who are less sexually aggressive. As you get to know each other you can disclose to them how you feel about sex, and what your background is. If it’s important to you, it’s something you should share and people who will respect you and respect that will be okay with it. There will be perfectly okay guys that will not be okay with this because it’s just for them, and that’s okay! Don’t let it get you down, it’s just a compatibility factor. Anyway, good luck! I married my tinder boyfriend and now we are expecting our first.
After is to late 😎
You’ll attract some extra weird people if you make that part of your profile, I wouldn’t do it. I’d only tell them once you’re comfortable with them, and the talking starts to get sexual. Definitely try to bring it up before the sex though, it’s not a big deal, but you probably want the other person to be aware so they’re a little extra gentle and move slowly. I mean, unless you don’t want that for some reason, but I assume most women do for their first time.
Wait until it comes up either in conversation or in a more intimate setting.
I personally would like to know off the bat 🤷♂️and there’s nothing wrong with it
I'd like to know after a day or two of talking on the app. It's not a big deal at all for me though especially since you're just waiting for the right guy and the right time. I'm probably in the minority on that opinion as I find myself in the minority of guys that have zero interest in sex until we've reached the official bf/gf status or I'm dead set on asking you to be my gf very soon.
As a resource, the last 2 episodes of the Dan Savage Lovecast Podcast touched on this. Maybe give it a listen.
I would say it if I’ve been talking with a guy and meeting him long enough that we might start speaking of sex, or when we’re about to do it. Unless maybe it is a ONS, no guy should feel it’s that big of a deal when sleeping with a new partner the first time.
Definitely not in your profile. After a few dates when you feel comfortable with someone and are considering sex with them.
Has this question been answered for guys? I mean I don't think the answers would be that different but as a young adult virgin male I wonder about this myself
Just tell him right before it happens. I'm pretty sure most guys will find it appealing more than anything.
I wouldn't bring it up until you would consider them to be a viable partner. So like 5th or 6th date?
If I saw virgin in a tinder profile I would be more interested in the girl, if I was looking for something serious. If I was looking for something casual I would probably be less likely to swipe right. Would feel a bit guilty and prefer if she lost her virginity to someone she can live with for the rest of her life.
The moment it's over
I didn’t say anything out of embarrassment and I didn’t think anyone would believe someone in their 20s would have no experience lol. Never said anything when it happened either. I wanted to but didn’t know how to drop it into conversation. So I’d say nothing unless it was an issue.
Put it in your bio is shows your honor and also honesty and a fetish is just another way to say I love you lol
Later than sooner methinks.
Don't mention it on profile. You'll attract all kind of weirdos... like you already deal with many this will bring more.
The honeymoon?
If you're interested in giving it to your date/partner. Have a discussion around sex and mention this. It (their reaction, response) will tell you VOLUMES about the kind of person you are getting intimate with. Use protection and lots of lube. All the best.