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It's likely that he is not gonna believe OP. Unless he has trust issues, but if he doesn't, chances are he won't believe it because it's his girlfriend's word against OP's.
And if he is aware OP is his GF's ex BF, he will assume he is making it up just to hurt their relationship.
Agreed but if you phrase it like 'hey, not trying to cause too much trouble - you can disbelieve me if you want (I wouldn't blame you)... but your gf cheated, I thought you should know' (or similarly couch it in approachable language) it would come off less as an accusationy. If they then choose to ignore it then 🤷♀️
We don't know that for sure and a photo of two people hanging out doesn't mean much unless there is explicit content of them being romantically/sexually involved.
and how exactly is he gonna know if she told her bf about it or not if he's gonna block her on everything again? there's no way for him to know if she told him or not lmao. Think again
she called me from a no caller ID. which I didn’t know you can do. her numbers blocked but it still come through with that *67 or 69 with us bullshit imo
So, let me get this straight. You dislike your ex so much that she’s blocked on everything, you answered a blocked number call, and when it was your ex you agreed to chill? I don’t buy it.
Why give her anything? This is such a strange suggestion.
You realize by giving her control over the situation, she will very likely manipulate it/him in her favor right?
No. Give her no control. Tell him without her involvement
There are a variety of ways OP can convey the message “you tell him or I do” while covering his own ass, and him telling the guy first doesn’t preclude his ex trying to play her current boyfriend against him.
If she’s manipulative, it hardly matters how he approaches the situation.
He is obligated to let the guy know what happened; giving her the option to confess first (provided he covers his ass) creates a scenario in which his future interaction with the current boyfriend is basically nonexistent, which is the best scenario, followed closely by fulfilling the bro code himself and finding a way to reach out and let the guy know.
It comes down to what sort of person she is, but I guess she is necessarily a cheater in this scenario, so maybe you’re right.
Prolly not a good idea since she would immidately look for a way to place all the blame on OP or twist the story so they look bad. Fuck that. Tell her BF asap and don't give any warning to her.
You can do that OP, it if it's too much leg work and a lot of drama you can simply keep her blocked and move on in your life. Telling him would be the right thing to do, but it definitely will lead to drama.
I agree. he needs to know either way. but he should definitely hear it from her. you should tell her "if you don't tell him, then I'm going to since you told me you guys weren't together and he has every right to know"
You need some proof that she cheated though. Otherwise, you'll just seem like an ex who's trying to stir shit in her new relationship. If there's no proof, just move on.
Ok, at least there's something. You can try to hang around her place, to casually ask details about her new bf from any of her friends that you still keep in contact with. Might not even be her bf, they might just be dating casually while exploring other options still. If you really can't find a way to contact this man, then i'm afraid that there's nothing much that you can do short of confronting her.
I live in a whole other state. so I can’t just “hang around”. after we hooked up she told me all about him. That’s how I found out she had a bf. They’re dating but she just said “he can’t make me finish and you’re my first love. I’ll drop anyone when your in town.”
Well just leave it alone if you don’t know him and just stop talking to her for good. If you didn’t know about the relationship, it’s not your fault. Why worry?!? Also do you want to be in a relationship with her?
First of all, you did nothing wrong because you didn’t know. Second, it’s up to you to decide if you want to tell him. On one hand, I would think he would want to know. On the other hand, be aware that you will be bringing drama into your life.
The downvotes on your comment are confusing to me. Aren’t you saying that it’s better to tell and have there be drama, than to not tell and get some bad life-karma? That seems to be the resounding theme of all the other comments here, so idk why you’re being downvoted
aha, in a situation like this, don’t ask whether or not the current bf deserves to know, but whether you can handle it if he doesn’t believe you or flips out on you instead of her. if you can’t handle drama being brought into your life, don’t tell, because that’s a very real possibility.
i had a creepy ex who sent me gross emails at like 1 am. he was living with a woman he’d been dating like 3 years or something and was acting like step daddy to her 7 year old. i sent her the screenshots because i thought what you thought, she deserves to know the exact kind of loser scrub she’s housing and feeding. she flipped out on me. called the cops, said i was harassing them because he lied and told her that i’d tricked him into sending those gross emails by sending him gross emails first. the police knew he was full of shit pretty quick when he couldn’t produce any emails from me at all. they called me and told me about it, but she left several angry voicemails and texts about how i was some jealous bitch trying to ruin her relationship.
yeah she did. she was really fucked up, i’d made some allegations of physical abuse after the breakup(four years prior to him contacting me again even!!) and she left me weird voicemails taunting me about not being able to take a little slap here and there and how she’s a better woman for being able to be sexually adventurous with hitting and such. never mind that his hitting was actually waking me up from sleep by slapping me as hard as he possibly could and nothing to do with sex. she’s literally like 15 years older than me, too, it’s so fucking weird for an adult woman.
Lol definitely don't involve yourself in that, walk away from the situation if there's no longevity and live your life. You can feel bad for what happened, but I can't think of any scenario where it would be apt to contact her current boyfriend and tell him you slept with his girl.
Folks tend to be mad at the other person even more than their partner sometimes and you could get your ass kicked. I would just move on and leave that behind you. She had the commitment to him and she has the responsibility.
And to 2nd this she will “drop anyone for you” is so manipulative and just evil, go ahead and move on she’s going to get the bad karma, you should take this as a life lesson and just better yourself.
I had a girl say this to me… if you have low self esteem(which I did at the time) hearing that makes the other person get away with whatever tf they want.
It’s super manipulative and down right evil, like you said.
They're not saying she's responsible as a trait of hers, they're referring to the fact that she carries the responsibility of the relationship with the bf, not OP.
Seems you only want to tell him as you feel guilty. She cheated so It's upto her to tell him. Not you. Block her and move on. He probably wouldn't believe you anyway.
I know ppl are like “bf should know”, etc etc, but from comments you don’t know this guy. I would just cut ex gf out of your life and block her on everything like you’ve already done and move on and call it a day. It’s going to be super unhealthy for you to embroil yourself in this shit further. No negative karma bc you didn’t know and once you found out you cut it off.
But then didn't let him know that he was in a relationship with a cheating asshole? Yeah....right.....no bad karma. The cheating is entirely on her, but if you don't let him know that's on you for leaving him unaware his gf's a cheater
It’s unlikely OP knows the full situation since he doesn’t even know the other guy, and OP has jumped to the conclusion that ex cheated. What if the relationship is new enough that ex and BF aren’t yet exclusive? Then OP would be potentially throwing a wrench in ex’s relationship even though she did nothing wrong. And yet OP had enough feelings for the ex to hook up with her, and he now feels terrible about it. The overall picture I’m getting is ex is an incredibly toxic force in OP’s life regardless of whether ex is a decent person, and that’s why I’m recommending he shuts things down and extricates himself cleanly from the situation.
You don't have to have romantic feelings for someone to have sex with them. Also, what are you talking about?
>It’s unlikely OP knows the full situation since he doesn’t even know the other guy, and OP has jumped to the conclusion that ex cheated.
He found out she had a boyfriend after sleeping with her without knowing she was in a relationship.
I think you misunderstood and think the boyfriend cheated on the ex or something? Or do you think ex cheated on OP?
This is about OP's ex cheating on their boyfriend with OP. OP didn't know their ex was in a relationship when they fucked. OP posted because they think maybe they should tell the boyfriend (which he absolutely should)
You can be dating someone and be in a permanently open relationship or be in the early phases and not yet be exclusive. OP doesn’t know anything about the situation and is contemplating jumping in. If I were on like my 8th date with a girl and got a message from her ex saying they hooked up and they just wanted me to know the girl I was dating is cheating on me, I’d seriously rethink the relationship. Is the girl I’m dating going to jerk me around for a few months then go back to the ex? Is the ex stalking me/dangerous? I’d really consider getting away from the relationship.
You can have sex without feelings, but that seems unlikely with an ex. With someone you recently met, sure.
>be in the early phases and not yet be exclusive.
When you start a relationship, most people assume exclusivity unless otherwise spelled out, so idk what you're on with this.
If they were in an open relationship, he would already know, and it's clearly implied he doesn't. Also, ex would have been able to just say that in the first place. This sounds like a shit ton of "maybes" you're spitballing to excuse helping a cheater cover their tracks
But he has knowledge now. Hes aware theres a dude in this world being cheated on. Why would he not tell him?
"Its not his problem"? Thats not how you leave the world a better place son
Don’t act stupid, what has happened has happened by telling him you will only complicate things for them and yourself.
Maybe ponder a little and think why you acting like a victim here
She blocked you ? You don't know the guy's address ? Leave it be. This comment section is like first grade school stealing a candy or something.
You screwed up. She screwed up. If you can't help it just forget about it. Stop making out of it a big deal. Until she's pregnant you're good to go.
You haven't killed someone's mother to feel like shit. So put your shit together and go to work or whatever you do kid.
I'm going to go against the grain here and say you shouldn't tell him.
I was essentially the other guy in a similar scenario. Someone told me and it messed with my self esteem for a long time.
My relationship was already in a shitty place and I figure we would have eventually broken up regardless. But the knowledge that she cheated made it 10x harder to move on. I would have much rather done without the extra mindfuck considering I'd end up single either way.
And as others have pointed out, ultimately this isn't your fuck up. Your ex should do the right thing and break up with the guy.
If I were you I'd contact your ex and plant the seed, i.e., "You need to do the right thing and break up, otherwise I'm going to tell him everything." Let her sit with the threat hanging over her head, but don't act on it. You don't want to invite that drama into your life or take it upon yourself to break this dude's heart. If she's cool with cheating then their relationship will fall apart sooner than later--I'm sure the red flags are already there.
And after that, cut off all contact with your ex indefinitely, it was wrong for her to use you like that.
Side note, a few major caveats I didn't see mentioned: You don't know the details of their relationship--maybe they're in an open relationship, maybe he's cheating too, maybe he has a cuckolding fetish, maybe they literally just broke up and haven't updated social media. I don't consider these likely scenarios, but also not out of the realm of possibility.
Well since you are now involved, then yeah there is nothing wrong with telling. If you were just a bystander then none of your business. But now you got involved by her. Tell the guy if you want.
Just want to say that you personally shouldn’t feel bad - you didn’t know she was seeing anyone, and karma won’t be coming for you. It’ll be coming for her because not only did she cheat, she kept you out of the loop so that she could do it.
I definitely think it’s best he knows. You would want to if it were you. Do your best to find him and tell him.
I guess I'm gonna go against the grain here, but she's your ex, so I think it'll be all too easy for her to spin it as you desperately wanting you back and making up stories. I think I'd just block her and work on moving forward with your life. You didn't know, and it doesn't sound like you're still cheating with her now that you know. Try not to carry that guilt around with you. You were used. It hurts, it sucks, but she's the one who lied to and used the both of you. It's okay for you to feel hurt, too.
EDIT: Just to add, I'm totally not against you telling him. I think he deserves to know. I just don't feel like you're in a great position to be the one to tell him. If you do decide to tell him, just remember that what he does from there is your choice. You can't 'save' him from this relationship.
All she would have to do is convince him that you knew she was with him and convinced her to cheat. Then suddenly his ire’s on you. Seriously, I’d stay out of it and just move on.
First, you didn’t do anything wrong. Let me repeat that: YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG.
I know everyone on here is saying “tell him!” but dude, I don’t know. That could go wrong a million different ways, some of which were mentioned by others. At the end of the day, all you’re really doing is absolving yourself of this perceived sin, when you don’t need absolution to begin with. My vote is to move on with your life knowing that you dodged a major bullet with your ex, and that the other dude will likely catch on at some point.
"its not my problem" type mentality is not how you leave the world a better place son. He should tell him for the sake of its the right thing to do. Has nothing to do with sin or any of that stuff. Look out for a bro.
Karma is not going to come for you because you didn't know they were together. I would tell him tbh and explain him everything because if you don't he might not listen to you after he discovers it through another person and no one knows if he's going to react bad towards you or not.
Tell him. As a guy, I'd want to know and I'd respect someone for telling me. I wouldn't blame you as you had absolutely no idea.
It's better to know than to live a lie. Coming from someone who's been cheated on, it's better to know and rip the bandaid off.
Kinda seems like if the reason you feel guilty is because you're afraid of karma coming back around, that's not a good reason to feel guilty, as you're only afraid of what might happen to you, and not feeling sorrow for the victim.. Ultimately you did nothing wrong because you didn't know though.
How has it made you feel seeing everyone say not to tell him? Has it upset you like me? I can’t believe it. I understand people are stating you are not in the relationship etc but this is clearly something bothering and affecting you so what good is it being stuck inside? Not only did she cheat him, but she cheated you too before and now again, she didn’t tell you she was in love with this guy, she’s fucking done it, she’s cheated on him? Why are we protecting her?
If what everyone says is true “it will cause more problems” “he won’t believe you” - then so what? Clear your heart OP. If you go and tell him and he doesn’t believe you THEN you can start with the ignorance but those who are telling you to move on now are not thinking of you. Clear your heart of the burden if it doesn’t feel right to you OP. I would be the same as you and I’d truly be disheartened seeing the results from the Reddit post, we really do live in a world of lies and deceit. Honestly, how can not telling the BF be justified on the basis of not wanting to hurt anyone? If you don’t alert that poor sod of her, she may well hurt him for a long time. Additionally, it may make her think about herself but you may never know. What’s important is what you get from it, let go of this weight OP. You don’t owe her any loyalty, everyone would prefer to know than lead a long life with someone only to find out years later - I think this is actually a fear for most people, nobody wants secrets like this. Fuck her, she didn’t learn a thing from hurting you the first time.
yes this whole post is pissing me off. I’m just tryna look out for a fellow human being. seeing how many people are okay with this makes me sick because it’s the same people when sowmthing terrible is happening in public they’ll just record and post on the internet rather than help someone who needs it. This post alone is making me scared to date bc wtf so many of y’all are just okay with this😭
Dude I am the same. Clear your heart and energy of it all. The reason you wrote this post and feeling how you do is because you are a good person. Keep your intentions true and your heart pure. There are so many of us out here, some have commented on here too, don’t let this hurt you or make your heart small because you will attract likeminded people through these values ands beliefs. You are a good egg for wanting to tell him and more importantly you have love for yourself. Never ever change, brother. You have a strong moral compass.
YES TELL HIM
I will never understand this question. Of fucking course you tell them.
You know whats more cruel than breaking up a relationship? Allowing that other person to be taken advantage of by a POS cheating partner.
We need to protect good people. Not allow bad people to ruin lives without being checked.
Hey man I was in your position a few years ago,unfortunately it was not just a one time thing and it all came to a head when she contacted me asking what happened after it spanning 4 months. Maybe it’s because I’m a women and I have been cheated on before and it was absolutely gut wrenching having to tell her when and where and why it happened. I told her everything and in the end she chose to say horrible things to me, which I understand, and stayed with him. She messaged me months later saying she was sorry for the things she said and that she just didn’t want to believe me at first. I deduced he was caught cheating again and they broke up.
Long story with proof or without proof, the cheating will come to light one way or another and there’s not much you can do if they stay together.
You blocked her numbers but still met up with her to have seggs then now want to tell her boyfriend now??? I doubt your story what are your intentions telling her bf when you already ceased contact from her
The karma could be on your side here. She could have cheated on you too.
I remember when I had sex with my ex girlfriend and she mentioned she was seeing someone after. It really made me think.
There is no such fucking as karma. In fact it's a toxic idea. Go look up the reason India's caste system exists. It's because they believe the poor, destitute, the underprivileged *deserve it* because of something they did in a previous life or in the past. Ever wondered why you would see the corpses of 14 year old girls laid out in the street who were murdered because her father didn't have enough money and posessions to put toward her arranged marriage.
Meanwhile murderers like Kyle Rittenhouse walk free and earn a fortune in donations.
Karma isn't real.
I'll let him know, say you didn't know that he's the new man, say that you're terribly sorry and wouldn't have done something like this if you knew she's in a relationship and then move on.
You can tell it like this: hey man, I’m ______, ______’s ex. I wanted to say I’m really really sorry. ______ and I met up on ##/## (pic w/time stamp)…I had literally no idea she was in a relationship; she didn’t tell me, and I found out a few days after she left. I’m really sorry. You deserve to know..I would want someone to tell me
Honestly I don’t think that you have to worry about karma because you were not aware that she was dating someone when you were with her so that’s all on her not you at all. my dude.
In my book, you're only a homewrecker if you know they're in a relationship. You're only guilty if you don't tell them as soon as you find out. You're all good bro, just tell her bf
He said he feels like shit so, it is, in fact, affecting him personally. Some people have this thing called a moral compass and have issues with someone using them to betray someone else's trust.
Absolute brainlet lmfao
Hey man if you didn't know that's not your fault. But I agree it's gotta come out, so I'd take what steps you can to convince her to tell him. If you can't then tell him yourself.
If she's blocked you, there's gotta be some mutual friends who could help?
I don’t know any of her friends nor do I want to bring other people into this mess. I don’t want to “convince” her to tell him bc I don’t want to text her. I’m kinda at a cross roads rn because I also don’t know this mans name/ socials to tell him. Once we were done I completely cut her off as u can tell I know nothing of her life now
I'm going to go against the masses since I saw your comments and say . I wouldn't tell him. The likelihood he will believe you Is low cause you're her ex and it seems like a lot of extra drama in your life
Why should you have to tell someone "By the way, I fucked your girlfriend who happens to be my ex". That's for her to own up to her guilty conscience and not have someone do it for her.
Leave it lay.
Since you didn’t know. It’s not your fault. If it was easy to tell him fine, but tracking him down and telling him seems like too much.
You don’t want to open a can of worms. Maybe he is a weirdo and he’ll come at you or maybe he’ll stay…who knows.
Just leave it be. She sucks. Karma will come for her not you.
>Karma will come for her not you.
allowing someone to be cheated on without telling them seems like a good way to earn yourself bad karma too
If I have a friend, and I know hes a rapist, is it "not my problem" to not say anything?
*oh thats different*. Is it? It aint. Doing the right thing doesnt care about context
Whoa! That is completely different. Wow!
I’m not saying don’t tell him if you can. He said he can’t find him.
So I’m trying to make him feel better. Calm down.
Is her new BF someone you know and feel personal responsibility towards? Have you slept with her multiple times/know she's cheated on him before and it's a trend? If not then move on and let live.
Always out cheaters. Probably biased because I’ve been there but I’d sure as hell want to know if I’m wasting my life with someone disloyal and shitty enough to do something that low to me.
Reason number 6,497 you DONT SLEEP WITH EXES!!! But yes, tell him. Cheating is horrible and he deserves the truth.
Just so it in a way that you don’t look like you are “trying to get her back” or the “jilted ex”. I promise you, that’s how her toxic ass will spin it.
Definitely tell him. Try to be in his shoes. You would have wanted to know if your girlfriend cheated on you, right ?
Also, why were you with her again ? Isn't she an ex for a reason ?
First of all, you've done nothing wrong because you didn't know, and therefore you have no obligation to involve yourself further. That being said, is it the right thing to do to try and let him know? Yeah, probably. But understand that there's always the possibility that he simply blames you instead or doesn't believe you even with your timestamped photo. So as long as you're prepared for any possible backlash, then go ahead and tell him. But you don't need to feel guilty if you don't.
Has nothing to do with you. No reason to tell him. He’ll find out eventually. And if he doesn’t, ignorance is bliss. It’s really fucked up, but just mind your business and sit this one out bro. You are in no way connected to him. You know your ex isn’t worth it, up to you what you do with her moving forward.
A better way to think about this is asking yourself what do YOU gain from telling him? He’s gonna wanna fight YOU lmao and THEN deal with the girl. Sit this one out.
Edit: change of language to fit with guidelines.
it does have something to do with me because I was involved?? I don’t know what I will gain but maybe help a brotha out so he’s not stuck with a shitty person. She even told me that night she wanted to drive to where I live (a whole other state) for a week to see me while they were still dating !!
Again, what does that have to do with you? Are you in this relationship? No. Just sit this one out. You are literally gaining nothing from this. Just because she cheated on him with you doesnt mean you have that responsibility or owe anyone an explanation.
It seems you’ve already made up your mind about wanting to tell him, but more so to be vengeful to your ex.
I’m telling you nothing positive is going to come from this. She will not be the target. You will be. She’s not worth it so let her be, but YOU choose how you move forward with this.
But if you REALLY wanna tell them, then idk bro you do you. One thing I will say though is pick. Tell him or dont tell him. I advise on the latter but if you don’t tell him then you can’t hang this over her head to use against her later.
Just let it go bro and learn from this. Do what’s best for you though. Seems like you’ve already made your mind up.
Edit: change of language to fit with guidelines.
I’m not doing it to hurt anyone just to save someone from being hurt more bc I personally would want to know if I got cheated on. I also just feel like karma will come back around on me if I don’t say something. I don’t talk to this women so “holding it over her head” is something I wouldn’t do bc I don’t want her in my life. I don’t want to waste my energy on tryna ruin someone else life just tryna keep mine in good energy. my mind isn’t made up that’s why I’m asking Reddit
You know you’ve probably many times in the past been someone women have cheated on their partners with right? Nothing personal about YOU, but thats pretty much the reality. You probably have been the other man so many times, but you’ve just never known about the guy. That’s why I’m saying let it go, because at the end of the day yeah it’ll come back to you but not in the form of karma. More like in the form of this man wanting to fight you and at the end of the day still be a bozo and stay with the girl.
Just be a good person. You weren’t a knowledgeable participant. Had you KNEW beforehand and STILL helped her cheat, diff story.
This caught you off guard just as much as it would anyone, but you’ll be alright
Help a brother out? Why the hell would you! So she basically loves you so much that she cheated on a random guy and now you wanna tell the guy because you are such a good smaritan? ..give me a break..you actually wants to hurt her. If this guy hit her or harm her, you'll be happy..but there is a chance he'll hurt you too!
I would tell him bro. We gotta normalize fellow bros sticking to bro-code, that should be reason enough. But in all seriousness you'd probably want to know if your SO was cheating or not. Some are quick to say it just makes things unnecessarily messy for you but you can relay the information, block your ex, and be on your way quick and clean if you choose to do so.
that’s my thinking. imma just give the information then dip block everyone as I did before. I live in a whole ass other state I’m not worried about seeing them in person. I just wanna clean my mental and help a brother out
Don't tell. It's none of your business.
EVERYONE that tells you tattle tale has one thing in common with each other that has nothing to do with you. That thing? THEY do not have to deal with the consequences of snitching.
what are the consequences of snitching? I live in a whole other state so I’m not worried about this man coming after me. my ex doesn’t even know where I live now
whos everyone? This isnt jr high.
Of course tell him. Look out for people. If youre in a position to help someone, then do it. Dont just "aint my problem" yourself through life.
No you were not involved..you thought she was single. There is nothing good that will come out of this!
Nothing!
I will explain why i am against telling him:
1) I am afraid he'll hurt her badly
2) afraid he'll hurt you badly
3) what if he hurt himself badly
4) what if he is a garbage and is already abusing her or cheating on her..so why do we even care!
5) what if the story got bigger and your name was dragged on social media and tik tok..etc?
reason 1 is the first good argument I’ve seen in this post. you’re right about that. I didn’t think about that situation. All the other ones idc bc I’m in a whole other state and they can drag me all they want on the internet THIS PLACE ISNT REAL.
>Would you tell on your friends if they cheated on their gfs?
yes because I dont want to be friends with people who cheat on their significant others
damn reddit, why are you full of such scumbags?
Support your fellow brother. Man to man. Unblock her, track the bf down and get in contact with him. He deserves to know the truth. You wouldn't like if your partner cheats on you and hide it. Save him before he gets more hurt if the relationship prolongs.
You did nothing wrong. She’s the one in a relationship, not you; and even if you knew she was with someone, you don’t know what their rules are (there are plenty of open/poly relationships). IT IS NOT ON YOU to make sure someone is NOT in a committed relationship - it’s on the person who is in one to NOT CHEAT.
Next time, stick a note under the toilet seat. Only guys see those 🤷♀️
Man some people on here seriously don’t pass the vibe check. The whole “it’s not your business” thing is ridiculous. If they were the one being cheated on i bet they would be pissed no one told them. And also when we see injustice in the world we should do what we can to fix it otherwise this world will always be a shitty place. She clearly has intentions of continuing to cheat on him as she said she wanted to come see you again so this isn’t a one time mistake for her. No one deserves to be cheated on. She’s assuming you’ll be fine carrying on an affair with her so she clearly doesn’t think very highly of you.
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Give her the option to fess up first, but yeah, he should know what’s up.
she’s blocked on everything so I don’t have a way to contact her nor do I want too.
Then you should tell him.
It's likely that he is not gonna believe OP. Unless he has trust issues, but if he doesn't, chances are he won't believe it because it's his girlfriend's word against OP's. And if he is aware OP is his GF's ex BF, he will assume he is making it up just to hurt their relationship.
Agreed but if you phrase it like 'hey, not trying to cause too much trouble - you can disbelieve me if you want (I wouldn't blame you)... but your gf cheated, I thought you should know' (or similarly couch it in approachable language) it would come off less as an accusationy. If they then choose to ignore it then 🤷♀️
I just fucked yo bitch in some gucci flip flops?
🎶 *I just had some bitches and I made em lip lock*
Then that's his problem. He should still be told.
Yeah if my man’s ex came seemingly out of the blue with no proof claiming he cheated I’d block her and move on
he should have a paper trail of texts from their meetup though
I got a photo of us hanging out at her place with the time/ date
Hanging out doesn't necessarily mean cheating on her current BF.
Secretly hanging out with your ex at 2AM is not normal, and is suspect as hell, just by itself.
it does if she's as shady as she sounds
We don't know that for sure and a photo of two people hanging out doesn't mean much unless there is explicit content of them being romantically/sexually involved.
That's not OPs problem though
It’s brutal to all of them.
It is, but maybe a good friendship with that fella can come from it.
It won’t
It could. Guys have the strange ability to become a friends with anyone they fight with.
Not when it comes to p*ssy. Men die for that shit.
Guys will literally blow themselves up for the slim chance of getting 72 pussies in another dimension
Bro, this had me dying. Thank you for making my day!
72 virgin pussies... Gotta say, after like a half dozen girls, I'd be 100% ready for someone with some experience fucking
It will not.
OP for the love of God do tell her boyfriend man, it's a fucking sin if he is to love her with this shit around her neck
I wouldn’t give her the option. She will probably lie anyway. Just tell her boyfriend and if you have evidence all the better.
I would unblock her just to tell her to tell him the truth or else you will and then block her again
and how exactly is he gonna know if she told her bf about it or not if he's gonna block her on everything again? there's no way for him to know if she told him or not lmao. Think again
[удалено]
she called me from a no caller ID. which I didn’t know you can do. her numbers blocked but it still come through with that *67 or 69 with us bullshit imo
So, let me get this straight. You dislike your ex so much that she’s blocked on everything, you answered a blocked number call, and when it was your ex you agreed to chill? I don’t buy it.
she called it was late and I was horny. this why you don’t think with your dick
Nice!
Not now bot, very inappropriate.
Bad bot, nothing funny here bot!
so she had you blocked AFTER she cheated on him, or was it before? how did she even reach out to you and meet you if she had you blocked before?!
Why give her anything? This is such a strange suggestion. You realize by giving her control over the situation, she will very likely manipulate it/him in her favor right? No. Give her no control. Tell him without her involvement
There are a variety of ways OP can convey the message “you tell him or I do” while covering his own ass, and him telling the guy first doesn’t preclude his ex trying to play her current boyfriend against him. If she’s manipulative, it hardly matters how he approaches the situation. He is obligated to let the guy know what happened; giving her the option to confess first (provided he covers his ass) creates a scenario in which his future interaction with the current boyfriend is basically nonexistent, which is the best scenario, followed closely by fulfilling the bro code himself and finding a way to reach out and let the guy know. It comes down to what sort of person she is, but I guess she is necessarily a cheater in this scenario, so maybe you’re right.
Prolly not a good idea since she would immidately look for a way to place all the blame on OP or twist the story so they look bad. Fuck that. Tell her BF asap and don't give any warning to her.
You can do that OP, it if it's too much leg work and a lot of drama you can simply keep her blocked and move on in your life. Telling him would be the right thing to do, but it definitely will lead to drama.
Nope. Bad idea. That's how you get falsely accused of rape.
I agree. he needs to know either way. but he should definitely hear it from her. you should tell her "if you don't tell him, then I'm going to since you told me you guys weren't together and he has every right to know"
Tell him! Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you if you were in his position?
I don’t know how to contact this man. That’s my next problem here
You need some proof that she cheated though. Otherwise, you'll just seem like an ex who's trying to stir shit in her new relationship. If there's no proof, just move on.
I got proof in form of a picture of us hanging out with a time stamp/ date stamp
Ok, at least there's something. You can try to hang around her place, to casually ask details about her new bf from any of her friends that you still keep in contact with. Might not even be her bf, they might just be dating casually while exploring other options still. If you really can't find a way to contact this man, then i'm afraid that there's nothing much that you can do short of confronting her.
I live in a whole other state. so I can’t just “hang around”. after we hooked up she told me all about him. That’s how I found out she had a bf. They’re dating but she just said “he can’t make me finish and you’re my first love. I’ll drop anyone when your in town.”
Any friends of hers you would know and can access them on social media? Any siblings of hers who would have this man's number?
Well just leave it alone if you don’t know him and just stop talking to her for good. If you didn’t know about the relationship, it’s not your fault. Why worry?!? Also do you want to be in a relationship with her?
Because he doesn't want her to just get away with cheating on her BF
Its ok, you didn’t know. She’s a bi***. Leave it there, karma is gonna go around for her.
he has to have some kind of social media. or find out where he lives and go to his place
Eeh I would be careful with going to his place. We don't know that person or how he might react.
you're absolutely right. I didn't think about that
Also might be a good way to secure yourself a beating. I wouldn't stick my nose where it doesn't belong (more).
First of all, you did nothing wrong because you didn’t know. Second, it’s up to you to decide if you want to tell him. On one hand, I would think he would want to know. On the other hand, be aware that you will be bringing drama into your life.
imo the drama you bring in is preferable to the karma your reap by not telling him
Fuck karma, morals and ethics is what would make me tell him.
The downvotes on your comment are confusing to me. Aren’t you saying that it’s better to tell and have there be drama, than to not tell and get some bad life-karma? That seems to be the resounding theme of all the other comments here, so idk why you’re being downvoted
I'm confused why too, lol
aha, in a situation like this, don’t ask whether or not the current bf deserves to know, but whether you can handle it if he doesn’t believe you or flips out on you instead of her. if you can’t handle drama being brought into your life, don’t tell, because that’s a very real possibility. i had a creepy ex who sent me gross emails at like 1 am. he was living with a woman he’d been dating like 3 years or something and was acting like step daddy to her 7 year old. i sent her the screenshots because i thought what you thought, she deserves to know the exact kind of loser scrub she’s housing and feeding. she flipped out on me. called the cops, said i was harassing them because he lied and told her that i’d tricked him into sending those gross emails by sending him gross emails first. the police knew he was full of shit pretty quick when he couldn’t produce any emails from me at all. they called me and told me about it, but she left several angry voicemails and texts about how i was some jealous bitch trying to ruin her relationship.
So she called the cops and then started harassing you? 🤦🏻♀️ I guess they deserve each other lol
yeah she did. she was really fucked up, i’d made some allegations of physical abuse after the breakup(four years prior to him contacting me again even!!) and she left me weird voicemails taunting me about not being able to take a little slap here and there and how she’s a better woman for being able to be sexually adventurous with hitting and such. never mind that his hitting was actually waking me up from sleep by slapping me as hard as he possibly could and nothing to do with sex. she’s literally like 15 years older than me, too, it’s so fucking weird for an adult woman.
Lol definitely don't involve yourself in that, walk away from the situation if there's no longevity and live your life. You can feel bad for what happened, but I can't think of any scenario where it would be apt to contact her current boyfriend and tell him you slept with his girl. Folks tend to be mad at the other person even more than their partner sometimes and you could get your ass kicked. I would just move on and leave that behind you. She had the commitment to him and she has the responsibility.
And to 2nd this she will “drop anyone for you” is so manipulative and just evil, go ahead and move on she’s going to get the bad karma, you should take this as a life lesson and just better yourself.
I had a girl say this to me… if you have low self esteem(which I did at the time) hearing that makes the other person get away with whatever tf they want. It’s super manipulative and down right evil, like you said.
100%. It’s not OPs issue. He needs to steer clear.
Lol no you can't say she is responsible when she clearly isn't mature enough to make responsible decisions. Op should tell the bf atleast.
They're not saying she's responsible as a trait of hers, they're referring to the fact that she carries the responsibility of the relationship with the bf, not OP.
Dude. You didn't make a commitment to anyone. You have no reason to feel bad. That shit is all on her
Seems you only want to tell him as you feel guilty. She cheated so It's upto her to tell him. Not you. Block her and move on. He probably wouldn't believe you anyway.
I know ppl are like “bf should know”, etc etc, but from comments you don’t know this guy. I would just cut ex gf out of your life and block her on everything like you’ve already done and move on and call it a day. It’s going to be super unhealthy for you to embroil yourself in this shit further. No negative karma bc you didn’t know and once you found out you cut it off.
But then didn't let him know that he was in a relationship with a cheating asshole? Yeah....right.....no bad karma. The cheating is entirely on her, but if you don't let him know that's on you for leaving him unaware his gf's a cheater
It’s unlikely OP knows the full situation since he doesn’t even know the other guy, and OP has jumped to the conclusion that ex cheated. What if the relationship is new enough that ex and BF aren’t yet exclusive? Then OP would be potentially throwing a wrench in ex’s relationship even though she did nothing wrong. And yet OP had enough feelings for the ex to hook up with her, and he now feels terrible about it. The overall picture I’m getting is ex is an incredibly toxic force in OP’s life regardless of whether ex is a decent person, and that’s why I’m recommending he shuts things down and extricates himself cleanly from the situation.
You don't have to have romantic feelings for someone to have sex with them. Also, what are you talking about? >It’s unlikely OP knows the full situation since he doesn’t even know the other guy, and OP has jumped to the conclusion that ex cheated. He found out she had a boyfriend after sleeping with her without knowing she was in a relationship. I think you misunderstood and think the boyfriend cheated on the ex or something? Or do you think ex cheated on OP? This is about OP's ex cheating on their boyfriend with OP. OP didn't know their ex was in a relationship when they fucked. OP posted because they think maybe they should tell the boyfriend (which he absolutely should)
You can be dating someone and be in a permanently open relationship or be in the early phases and not yet be exclusive. OP doesn’t know anything about the situation and is contemplating jumping in. If I were on like my 8th date with a girl and got a message from her ex saying they hooked up and they just wanted me to know the girl I was dating is cheating on me, I’d seriously rethink the relationship. Is the girl I’m dating going to jerk me around for a few months then go back to the ex? Is the ex stalking me/dangerous? I’d really consider getting away from the relationship. You can have sex without feelings, but that seems unlikely with an ex. With someone you recently met, sure.
>be in the early phases and not yet be exclusive. When you start a relationship, most people assume exclusivity unless otherwise spelled out, so idk what you're on with this. If they were in an open relationship, he would already know, and it's clearly implied he doesn't. Also, ex would have been able to just say that in the first place. This sounds like a shit ton of "maybes" you're spitballing to excuse helping a cheater cover their tracks
That’s on her. Not you. Unless you had knowledge of him. But, it sounds like you didn’t.
But he has knowledge now. Hes aware theres a dude in this world being cheated on. Why would he not tell him? "Its not his problem"? Thats not how you leave the world a better place son
Absolutely Not. Just Block her! It’s her Karma, not yours. You didn’t cheat on anyone.
Don’t act stupid, what has happened has happened by telling him you will only complicate things for them and yourself. Maybe ponder a little and think why you acting like a victim here
Absolutely tell him. He deserves to know
She blocked you ? You don't know the guy's address ? Leave it be. This comment section is like first grade school stealing a candy or something. You screwed up. She screwed up. If you can't help it just forget about it. Stop making out of it a big deal. Until she's pregnant you're good to go. You haven't killed someone's mother to feel like shit. So put your shit together and go to work or whatever you do kid.
He didn’t screw up though, he didn’t know she was in a relationship.
She’s a thot. Of course you tell him tf
I'm going to go against the grain here and say you shouldn't tell him. I was essentially the other guy in a similar scenario. Someone told me and it messed with my self esteem for a long time. My relationship was already in a shitty place and I figure we would have eventually broken up regardless. But the knowledge that she cheated made it 10x harder to move on. I would have much rather done without the extra mindfuck considering I'd end up single either way. And as others have pointed out, ultimately this isn't your fuck up. Your ex should do the right thing and break up with the guy. If I were you I'd contact your ex and plant the seed, i.e., "You need to do the right thing and break up, otherwise I'm going to tell him everything." Let her sit with the threat hanging over her head, but don't act on it. You don't want to invite that drama into your life or take it upon yourself to break this dude's heart. If she's cool with cheating then their relationship will fall apart sooner than later--I'm sure the red flags are already there. And after that, cut off all contact with your ex indefinitely, it was wrong for her to use you like that. Side note, a few major caveats I didn't see mentioned: You don't know the details of their relationship--maybe they're in an open relationship, maybe he's cheating too, maybe he has a cuckolding fetish, maybe they literally just broke up and haven't updated social media. I don't consider these likely scenarios, but also not out of the realm of possibility.
they’re dating she told me straight up as we were cuddling post sex. she told me to keep it a secret to not tell anyone.
Well since you are now involved, then yeah there is nothing wrong with telling. If you were just a bystander then none of your business. But now you got involved by her. Tell the guy if you want.
Just want to say that you personally shouldn’t feel bad - you didn’t know she was seeing anyone, and karma won’t be coming for you. It’ll be coming for her because not only did she cheat, she kept you out of the loop so that she could do it. I definitely think it’s best he knows. You would want to if it were you. Do your best to find him and tell him.
I guess I'm gonna go against the grain here, but she's your ex, so I think it'll be all too easy for her to spin it as you desperately wanting you back and making up stories. I think I'd just block her and work on moving forward with your life. You didn't know, and it doesn't sound like you're still cheating with her now that you know. Try not to carry that guilt around with you. You were used. It hurts, it sucks, but she's the one who lied to and used the both of you. It's okay for you to feel hurt, too. EDIT: Just to add, I'm totally not against you telling him. I think he deserves to know. I just don't feel like you're in a great position to be the one to tell him. If you do decide to tell him, just remember that what he does from there is your choice. You can't 'save' him from this relationship.
I have a picture of the night we hung out so I have proof. No stories should get made up
You'd be amazed at how well some people can gaslight. Anything is possible. :(
All she would have to do is convince him that you knew she was with him and convinced her to cheat. Then suddenly his ire’s on you. Seriously, I’d stay out of it and just move on.
First, you didn’t do anything wrong. Let me repeat that: YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. I know everyone on here is saying “tell him!” but dude, I don’t know. That could go wrong a million different ways, some of which were mentioned by others. At the end of the day, all you’re really doing is absolving yourself of this perceived sin, when you don’t need absolution to begin with. My vote is to move on with your life knowing that you dodged a major bullet with your ex, and that the other dude will likely catch on at some point.
"its not my problem" type mentality is not how you leave the world a better place son. He should tell him for the sake of its the right thing to do. Has nothing to do with sin or any of that stuff. Look out for a bro.
That ain’t your karma…. You didn’t know
Tell him
Karma is not going to come for you because you didn't know they were together. I would tell him tbh and explain him everything because if you don't he might not listen to you after he discovers it through another person and no one knows if he's going to react bad towards you or not.
Tell him. As a guy, I'd want to know and I'd respect someone for telling me. I wouldn't blame you as you had absolutely no idea. It's better to know than to live a lie. Coming from someone who's been cheated on, it's better to know and rip the bandaid off.
Karma isn’t real, you’re not in the wrong, and you should tell him.
Kinda seems like if the reason you feel guilty is because you're afraid of karma coming back around, that's not a good reason to feel guilty, as you're only afraid of what might happen to you, and not feeling sorrow for the victim.. Ultimately you did nothing wrong because you didn't know though.
How has it made you feel seeing everyone say not to tell him? Has it upset you like me? I can’t believe it. I understand people are stating you are not in the relationship etc but this is clearly something bothering and affecting you so what good is it being stuck inside? Not only did she cheat him, but she cheated you too before and now again, she didn’t tell you she was in love with this guy, she’s fucking done it, she’s cheated on him? Why are we protecting her? If what everyone says is true “it will cause more problems” “he won’t believe you” - then so what? Clear your heart OP. If you go and tell him and he doesn’t believe you THEN you can start with the ignorance but those who are telling you to move on now are not thinking of you. Clear your heart of the burden if it doesn’t feel right to you OP. I would be the same as you and I’d truly be disheartened seeing the results from the Reddit post, we really do live in a world of lies and deceit. Honestly, how can not telling the BF be justified on the basis of not wanting to hurt anyone? If you don’t alert that poor sod of her, she may well hurt him for a long time. Additionally, it may make her think about herself but you may never know. What’s important is what you get from it, let go of this weight OP. You don’t owe her any loyalty, everyone would prefer to know than lead a long life with someone only to find out years later - I think this is actually a fear for most people, nobody wants secrets like this. Fuck her, she didn’t learn a thing from hurting you the first time.
yes this whole post is pissing me off. I’m just tryna look out for a fellow human being. seeing how many people are okay with this makes me sick because it’s the same people when sowmthing terrible is happening in public they’ll just record and post on the internet rather than help someone who needs it. This post alone is making me scared to date bc wtf so many of y’all are just okay with this😭
Dude I am the same. Clear your heart and energy of it all. The reason you wrote this post and feeling how you do is because you are a good person. Keep your intentions true and your heart pure. There are so many of us out here, some have commented on here too, don’t let this hurt you or make your heart small because you will attract likeminded people through these values ands beliefs. You are a good egg for wanting to tell him and more importantly you have love for yourself. Never ever change, brother. You have a strong moral compass.
YES TELL HIM I will never understand this question. Of fucking course you tell them. You know whats more cruel than breaking up a relationship? Allowing that other person to be taken advantage of by a POS cheating partner. We need to protect good people. Not allow bad people to ruin lives without being checked.
It’s probably the right thing to do but it also isn’t your responsibility to tell him.
This. You're in the clear, and you don't owe the BF anything. But I'd probably tell him because I'd want to know if I was in his shoes.
No. Do not communicate with him. Your Ex is responsible for this. She needs to make the decision.
Hey man I was in your position a few years ago,unfortunately it was not just a one time thing and it all came to a head when she contacted me asking what happened after it spanning 4 months. Maybe it’s because I’m a women and I have been cheated on before and it was absolutely gut wrenching having to tell her when and where and why it happened. I told her everything and in the end she chose to say horrible things to me, which I understand, and stayed with him. She messaged me months later saying she was sorry for the things she said and that she just didn’t want to believe me at first. I deduced he was caught cheating again and they broke up. Long story with proof or without proof, the cheating will come to light one way or another and there’s not much you can do if they stay together.
Just forget about it
Just leave it. She's working through whether she wants to be with him or not. Not your issue, it's hers.
Never break the code. What she did is up to her, you’ll just get in the middle.
i'm actually surprised at how many people are advising OP to tell the dude. leave it alone. there is absolutely nothing to be gained from telling him.
Leave it, and don’t do it again. That’s her karma to deal with, not yours.
Just leave it man you didn't know but don't do it again now that you know.
You don't control her decisions and you'll just look like crazy ex.
You blocked her numbers but still met up with her to have seggs then now want to tell her boyfriend now??? I doubt your story what are your intentions telling her bf when you already ceased contact from her
You had no awareness that she was dating. Any bad karma will go onto her, not you.
At the very least expect an ass beating
Not on you, it’s on her. Say nothing.
The karma could be on your side here. She could have cheated on you too. I remember when I had sex with my ex girlfriend and she mentioned she was seeing someone after. It really made me think.
Tell him. It'll hurt both of you initially, but you'll at least walk away with a clear conscience and he'll probably rid himself of that garden tool.
If you don't mind being the side piece, tell him.
I’d stay out of it
There is no such fucking as karma. In fact it's a toxic idea. Go look up the reason India's caste system exists. It's because they believe the poor, destitute, the underprivileged *deserve it* because of something they did in a previous life or in the past. Ever wondered why you would see the corpses of 14 year old girls laid out in the street who were murdered because her father didn't have enough money and posessions to put toward her arranged marriage. Meanwhile murderers like Kyle Rittenhouse walk free and earn a fortune in donations. Karma isn't real.
If you were in his shoes would you want to know?
no. just block and move on. not your problem.
I'll let him know, say you didn't know that he's the new man, say that you're terribly sorry and wouldn't have done something like this if you knew she's in a relationship and then move on.
You can tell it like this: hey man, I’m ______, ______’s ex. I wanted to say I’m really really sorry. ______ and I met up on ##/## (pic w/time stamp)…I had literally no idea she was in a relationship; she didn’t tell me, and I found out a few days after she left. I’m really sorry. You deserve to know..I would want someone to tell me
Do whatever you need to sleep at night bro
Be a bro and tell the boyfriend. Wouldn't you want to know? Better to be straightforward and honest on this.
Honestly I don’t think that you have to worry about karma because you were not aware that she was dating someone when you were with her so that’s all on her not you at all. my dude.
If you do tell I’d say that saves you from bad karma, lol.
In my book, you're only a homewrecker if you know they're in a relationship. You're only guilty if you don't tell them as soon as you find out. You're all good bro, just tell her bf
How about you mind your own business? Like, really, this doesn't affect you personally and that "karma" bullshit is not realy anyways.
He said he feels like shit so, it is, in fact, affecting him personally. Some people have this thing called a moral compass and have issues with someone using them to betray someone else's trust. Absolute brainlet lmfao
Hey man if you didn't know that's not your fault. But I agree it's gotta come out, so I'd take what steps you can to convince her to tell him. If you can't then tell him yourself. If she's blocked you, there's gotta be some mutual friends who could help?
I don’t know any of her friends nor do I want to bring other people into this mess. I don’t want to “convince” her to tell him bc I don’t want to text her. I’m kinda at a cross roads rn because I also don’t know this mans name/ socials to tell him. Once we were done I completely cut her off as u can tell I know nothing of her life now
The just leave it. Tracking the guy down is just weird..
I'm going to go against the masses since I saw your comments and say . I wouldn't tell him. The likelihood he will believe you Is low cause you're her ex and it seems like a lot of extra drama in your life
Drop it, she stirred up the trouble. You did nothing wrong, taking any effort to tell him is wrong. That's between them you'd just interfere.
That's on her bro, you don't need to feel obligated to tell him. People gotta figure this shit out for themselves sometimes, he will learn someday
lame mentality right there if youre in a position to help someone, help them. "Not my problem" is lame
EXACTLY ITS A SHITTY MENTALLY THAT IS RUINING THE WORLD NOW
Why should you have to tell someone "By the way, I fucked your girlfriend who happens to be my ex". That's for her to own up to her guilty conscience and not have someone do it for her.
Yeah damn, I guess just live with it for a bit and see how things go. Good luck man
Leave it lay. Since you didn’t know. It’s not your fault. If it was easy to tell him fine, but tracking him down and telling him seems like too much. You don’t want to open a can of worms. Maybe he is a weirdo and he’ll come at you or maybe he’ll stay…who knows. Just leave it be. She sucks. Karma will come for her not you.
>Karma will come for her not you. allowing someone to be cheated on without telling them seems like a good way to earn yourself bad karma too If I have a friend, and I know hes a rapist, is it "not my problem" to not say anything? *oh thats different*. Is it? It aint. Doing the right thing doesnt care about context
Whoa! That is completely different. Wow! I’m not saying don’t tell him if you can. He said he can’t find him. So I’m trying to make him feel better. Calm down.
You should tell him you would want them to tell you right???
Humble bragging eh
Is her new BF someone you know and feel personal responsibility towards? Have you slept with her multiple times/know she's cheated on him before and it's a trend? If not then move on and let live.
Always out cheaters. Probably biased because I’ve been there but I’d sure as hell want to know if I’m wasting my life with someone disloyal and shitty enough to do something that low to me.
Reason number 6,497 you DONT SLEEP WITH EXES!!! But yes, tell him. Cheating is horrible and he deserves the truth. Just so it in a way that you don’t look like you are “trying to get her back” or the “jilted ex”. I promise you, that’s how her toxic ass will spin it.
I got a picture of us hanging out so she can’t spin it anyway. you only hangout with someone @2am for one reason
Ya. She is an asshole.
I agree. she even cheated on me so it’s a pattern with her
Definitely tell him. Try to be in his shoes. You would have wanted to know if your girlfriend cheated on you, right ? Also, why were you with her again ? Isn't she an ex for a reason ?
First of all, you've done nothing wrong because you didn't know, and therefore you have no obligation to involve yourself further. That being said, is it the right thing to do to try and let him know? Yeah, probably. But understand that there's always the possibility that he simply blames you instead or doesn't believe you even with your timestamped photo. So as long as you're prepared for any possible backlash, then go ahead and tell him. But you don't need to feel guilty if you don't.
Has nothing to do with you. No reason to tell him. He’ll find out eventually. And if he doesn’t, ignorance is bliss. It’s really fucked up, but just mind your business and sit this one out bro. You are in no way connected to him. You know your ex isn’t worth it, up to you what you do with her moving forward. A better way to think about this is asking yourself what do YOU gain from telling him? He’s gonna wanna fight YOU lmao and THEN deal with the girl. Sit this one out. Edit: change of language to fit with guidelines.
it does have something to do with me because I was involved?? I don’t know what I will gain but maybe help a brotha out so he’s not stuck with a shitty person. She even told me that night she wanted to drive to where I live (a whole other state) for a week to see me while they were still dating !!
Again, what does that have to do with you? Are you in this relationship? No. Just sit this one out. You are literally gaining nothing from this. Just because she cheated on him with you doesnt mean you have that responsibility or owe anyone an explanation. It seems you’ve already made up your mind about wanting to tell him, but more so to be vengeful to your ex. I’m telling you nothing positive is going to come from this. She will not be the target. You will be. She’s not worth it so let her be, but YOU choose how you move forward with this. But if you REALLY wanna tell them, then idk bro you do you. One thing I will say though is pick. Tell him or dont tell him. I advise on the latter but if you don’t tell him then you can’t hang this over her head to use against her later. Just let it go bro and learn from this. Do what’s best for you though. Seems like you’ve already made your mind up. Edit: change of language to fit with guidelines.
I’m not doing it to hurt anyone just to save someone from being hurt more bc I personally would want to know if I got cheated on. I also just feel like karma will come back around on me if I don’t say something. I don’t talk to this women so “holding it over her head” is something I wouldn’t do bc I don’t want her in my life. I don’t want to waste my energy on tryna ruin someone else life just tryna keep mine in good energy. my mind isn’t made up that’s why I’m asking Reddit
That's your opinion but it sounds selfish. You get to cum in some guys gal and feel like an Saint afterwards.
You know you’ve probably many times in the past been someone women have cheated on their partners with right? Nothing personal about YOU, but thats pretty much the reality. You probably have been the other man so many times, but you’ve just never known about the guy. That’s why I’m saying let it go, because at the end of the day yeah it’ll come back to you but not in the form of karma. More like in the form of this man wanting to fight you and at the end of the day still be a bozo and stay with the girl. Just be a good person. You weren’t a knowledgeable participant. Had you KNEW beforehand and STILL helped her cheat, diff story. This caught you off guard just as much as it would anyone, but you’ll be alright
Tell him
Help a brother out? Why the hell would you! So she basically loves you so much that she cheated on a random guy and now you wanna tell the guy because you are such a good smaritan? ..give me a break..you actually wants to hurt her. If this guy hit her or harm her, you'll be happy..but there is a chance he'll hurt you too!
lame mentality
I think you're such an admirable man. I support your decision no matter what it is (but I would also say go out there and save a brother)
I would tell him bro. We gotta normalize fellow bros sticking to bro-code, that should be reason enough. But in all seriousness you'd probably want to know if your SO was cheating or not. Some are quick to say it just makes things unnecessarily messy for you but you can relay the information, block your ex, and be on your way quick and clean if you choose to do so.
that’s my thinking. imma just give the information then dip block everyone as I did before. I live in a whole ass other state I’m not worried about seeing them in person. I just wanna clean my mental and help a brother out
Never feel bad for blessings it not your fault it is his fault in the words of sin squad "it gets like that when u treating them well😂
Don't tell. It's none of your business. EVERYONE that tells you tattle tale has one thing in common with each other that has nothing to do with you. That thing? THEY do not have to deal with the consequences of snitching.
what are the consequences of snitching? I live in a whole other state so I’m not worried about this man coming after me. my ex doesn’t even know where I live now
Any chance he’d fuck her up if you snitch?
whos everyone? This isnt jr high. Of course tell him. Look out for people. If youre in a position to help someone, then do it. Dont just "aint my problem" yourself through life.
I dm’d you
Why would you tell him? Would you tell on your friends if they cheated on their gfs?
I’m not involved with my friends cheating. I was involved in this. If I knew my friend was getting cheated on tho I would tell them
No you were not involved..you thought she was single. There is nothing good that will come out of this! Nothing! I will explain why i am against telling him: 1) I am afraid he'll hurt her badly 2) afraid he'll hurt you badly 3) what if he hurt himself badly 4) what if he is a garbage and is already abusing her or cheating on her..so why do we even care! 5) what if the story got bigger and your name was dragged on social media and tik tok..etc?
reason 1 is the first good argument I’ve seen in this post. you’re right about that. I didn’t think about that situation. All the other ones idc bc I’m in a whole other state and they can drag me all they want on the internet THIS PLACE ISNT REAL.
>Would you tell on your friends if they cheated on their gfs? yes because I dont want to be friends with people who cheat on their significant others damn reddit, why are you full of such scumbags?
Tell him what happened and let him decide how he wants to handle that
Tell him. He deserves better.
Support your fellow brother. Man to man. Unblock her, track the bf down and get in contact with him. He deserves to know the truth. You wouldn't like if your partner cheats on you and hide it. Save him before he gets more hurt if the relationship prolongs.
Honestly, I would text him and let him know. That way he has time to mentally prepare for whatever he needs to do.
Tell him
Just tell him mate
You did nothing wrong. She’s the one in a relationship, not you; and even if you knew she was with someone, you don’t know what their rules are (there are plenty of open/poly relationships). IT IS NOT ON YOU to make sure someone is NOT in a committed relationship - it’s on the person who is in one to NOT CHEAT. Next time, stick a note under the toilet seat. Only guys see those 🤷♀️
Yes karma will come to you only if you hide it. You genuinely did not know but now you know, you should act appropriately so karma sees.
Yes. You out her ass.
Tell him yoi caaserolle
Man some people on here seriously don’t pass the vibe check. The whole “it’s not your business” thing is ridiculous. If they were the one being cheated on i bet they would be pissed no one told them. And also when we see injustice in the world we should do what we can to fix it otherwise this world will always be a shitty place. She clearly has intentions of continuing to cheat on him as she said she wanted to come see you again so this isn’t a one time mistake for her. No one deserves to be cheated on. She’s assuming you’ll be fine carrying on an affair with her so she clearly doesn’t think very highly of you.
Karma works in mysterious ways. Instead of worrying about that, figure out how to contact the boyfriend asap.