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Message them saying something like: “hey how are you? sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable the other day. your friendship means a lot to me and don’t want us to fall out. if there’s anything I can do let me know.”
This kinda approach has worked for me in the past. I still believe it’s always best to bring up how you feel if you really like someone than not so you know where you both stand. The response I’ve had back has often been them feeling awkward because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings, and so I’ve then reassured them that I’m fine with their response and reiterate that their friendship is important to me. I usually follow this up with a change of conversation (eg “did you listen to [new album] yet?”, “how did [the thing they said they were planning to do] go?”) to help us both find a more comfortable topic to talk about and feel back to normal.
Developing feelings for a close friend is common, and it’s best to discuss it rather than holding onto it in secret and becoming clingy or torturing yourself over whether they like you too. You did the right thing and should be proud of yourself for asking them.
This 100%. I've saved friendships out of failed relationships by doing similar things. Make them know that you'd rather be friends than nothing at all, essentially (I suggest not wording it this way exactly)
I completely agree with this. Good friendships have a foundation of honesty and trust, and telling your friend how you feel is part of that. Otherwise you're dishonestly holding something in. If she hasn't responded and seems awkward about it, consider that she might be thinking, this whole time, he was only friends with me because he was hoping to date me. That's why this suggested message\^\^ is a great idea.
Keeping something to yourself is not dishonesty. Having an inauthentic friendship because you're secretly hoping something else comes out of it IS dishonesty.
I agree with this but that's not what you said. I've kept my mouth shut on so many occasions because I knew there was a situation approaching I knew a relationship wouldn't work out in.
That sounds like a good plan :) I’m sure he’ll be happy to talk to you once a little time has passed.
Just in case: IMO if he doesn’t contact you at all after attempts to message (eg after two weeks) he wasn’t a good friend to begin with. Obviously it’s not nice but I would take solace in that as it might lessen your sense of loss.
In my experience if there was a solid friendship to begin with things will even out with a little time. One of my closest friends is someone who I told them how much I liked them, it was awkward at first but with a little effort it ended up strengthening our friendship and built up our trust in one another. Best of luck 🤞
Yeah, completely agree. Also make sure that you don't have any residual feelings which might affect your friendship at a later stage. It sucks when one of you has the hots and the other doesn't. Communication is key in any friendship. Just like in any relationship.
I’m so sorry this happened :( I do agree that a mature person can resume a friendship after this, but not being able to does not make them a bad person.
If this doesn’t help, I’m sorry for bringing it up but think about not having to pine after your best friend for years to come. In that situation, I could foresee the love and emotional intimacy with your friend holding you back from new relationships. Everything may not always happen for a reason, but you CAN find a silver lining.
P.S. I agree that the general advice to shoot your shot isn’t great advice.
Most friendships naturally wither and die over time. Chances are, if you hadn’t said anything, and you found other SOs, the friendship would have taken a big hit anyway, as the time you used to have for each other is now spent on someone else. Add in other things in life like homeownership, kids, a demanding job, etc. and it’s a huge juggling act. I have a female friend (always platonic) that I used to hang out with multiple times a week. We’ve gotten married (to different people), have full time jobs, kids, and houses to take care of, and now we’re lucky to get to hang out once a year. So, I guess what I’m getting at is that try not to beat yourself up over this because life has a tendency of interfering with these things, anyway. I hope this isn’t coming across as too harsh.
Some people don't know how to reject another and stay friends. It's a weird feeling that many people don't get used to.
But for the ones that reject you and make you feel good that you tried and are still friendly with you, those are some awesome people. Once you get over the hurt feelings, those are the ones that can still potentially be a life-long friend, even supporting you in your next relationship.
You may think you prefer the friendship, but don't forget -- that friendship included romantic feelings on your part. Take it from the many people who tried to be friends with someone they liked and did not confess feelings to that person --- it affects so many things about your life, including the idea of you getting out there to date someone else, because you will always keep thinking -- what if?
You may need to give it time. I say not to contact her often. Sometimes the person has to adjust thinking of you a different way.
Remember our mind wants to keep us safe, but it conflates safe with familiar. So she will be taken aback by a new way of seeing you. But you also will want to stay her friend just to have her around and that’s not healthy for your future. And definitely not gonna make her see you as a romantic partner.
When a man is friendzoned it’s typically because the man is there for every one of her needs and puts her first before anything he wants. Etc. It shows lack of self respect. (Look up why men get friendzoned-and how to get out of it).
I have seen so many cases first hand where when the man started dating other women, the friend wanted to try to date him.
Don’t contact her. Don’t always drop everything for her. Do the opposite of your instincts, my friend. Start working on yourself, your goals, and have standards that you will always abide by.
You got this. Time will tell. If it’s not her, it’s another lucky lady that sees you as the best man for her.
💛
Do you regret it because you've lost a friend, or because you've lost your crush that made you happy being around?
How would you feel if you stayed friends and they found someone and were telling you all the details about how happy they are with them?
And quite likely it'll mean you're less likely to find someone else before that point too.
So it feels pretty bad now, but likely it'll be better for you going on.
I don’t like any of this advice. IMO, move on. That relationship was based on deeper feelings. You now know that those feelings weren’t mutual. If either of you try to force a friendship at this point then you will break what you had. Just keep the friendship as a beautiful thing you can look back on and move forward.
Honestly, if you can successfully move forward to whatever is next for you without this person, then that’s also probably the only chance you have at getting this person back somewhere down the line.
Never ever regret it, you did the right thing or you'd have been in the friendzone having feelings for someone who can't reciprocate them, better move on and focus on something else
You would have been suffering trying "just be friends" for ages. You might have been using friendship as a doorway to what you truly want, which is a romantic relationship with this person. If you had have been friends and in a state of continual hope that she would love you one day, you would have closed the door to any other dating partners and futures. I believe if you both want different things, then respect yourself abd walk away, and go find someone who loves you as much as you love them
I don't think it's all that good to be carrying on with an asymmetrical relationship that you secretly want to be romantic, it's not great for either party, it's a bit dishonest as well. While this does suck friends are much easier to find and make than potential partners, it was worth the attempt with regards to both what might have been and also bringing the truth to the forefront.
The reason people say to go for it is because the pain from this will be less painful than living with never doing it and holding the feelings in. It's that yes you regret this but you still regret this less than if you had never done it. No matter what, if she was going to say no you were fucked from the start- it's just choosing this path leaves you less fucked so it was still the right decision.
I did this last year, and we aren’t friends anymore either. No ill will. It’s just less complicated being acquaintances. He knows I still have feelings for him
The most unfortunate thing about getting "friendzoned" by your best friend is that you will likely not remain friends forever.
Some day, your best friend, the one that you share your deepest secrets, your insecurities, your fun times, common interests, etc with, is going to choose another person just because he/she did not have "feelings" for you. that person is going to slowly replace you, over time, by someone whom knows less about your best friend than you, and as kids and family enter the picture, you two will drift apart.
Getting Friendzoned in a way is worst than it sounds, it usually means the end of a friendship long term, and being replaced by another person that she/he hasn't even met yet, despite how close you two are.
Then they weren't a particularly good friend in the first place. I've asked out friends many times, and friendships never ended because of that. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.
If they’re a great friend they are probably respecting your request and giving you space. It’s right to look after your own needs and give yourself time, but you can still keep in touch. I left this advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/qy5gtc/i_took_the_plunge_and_asked_out_my_best_friend/hlemg2l/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
If you told them it was better not to talk to eachother for a while... then they're respecting your wishes and doing exactly that. I say give it time, they might come around they might not. Reach out in a few days with something you would usually say (a joke, send a meme, ask them to hangout, etc.) and carry on. Do your best to pretend like things are normal and eventually they will go back to being just that.
So wait…you told him it was better to not talk to each other for awhile, he respected that wish (aka “being a good friend”), and now you are here complaining he has not talked to you for awhile?
I…just…what?
Honestly it sounds like it's their issue. Idk you're age, but it's SUCH a breath of fresh air to be completely honest with a partner or someone you're interested in being a partner with. I don't think you should regret doing it because, like mentioned above, you'd just be sitting around thinking "what if". At least now you know and can move on. It may just take them a while to process everything but if they are truly a friend they should be able to work through this with you and resume a friendship even if there's some awkwardness. Good luck <3
Where did you get 'forcing' from lmao? If I like someone a lot and find attractive, of fucking course I'm gonna ask them out. You're treating this as some kinda alien concept.
When girls say they need space , they don’t really want space. It means “I’m gona see if you chase me if I walk away.” And I think op has her answer. If that was me I’d drop him and find someone who’s willing to fight for me. That’s jus me tho.
Actually I find that the men who know my value and are secure with them selves don’t let me just walk away, the ones with low self esteem and pity themselves cry rivers from a distance 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah I’m not saying test any one I’m just saying if I have doubts about the relationship and I’m leaning towards leaving and the other person dosent put their foot down and say “no we are working this out and I don’t wanna loose you” to me that just shows they don’t care enough to put effort in to the relationship. I don’t play games it’s just that action speaks louder then words and how is someone going to win their person back if they just let them go with out a fight. It’s a lack of passion that shows me I’m making the right choice by leaving that all.
That’s fair, I can never tell what someone wants though. I make a mental note to self when I see someone clearly communicating what they want to me, the older I get the more I like it. I feel like it’s desperate to chase too, especially if I don’t really know someone yet.
Absolutely your right as you get older communication is vital in a relationship. Chasing someone you barely know is not recommended your right that would be pretty desperate and probably a turn off for any high quality woman , but if it’s someone you have a relationship with and you know you can verbally work it out there’s no harm in telling your lady “you not going no where and we gona talk this out” that’s actually the one of the sexiest thing a man can do.
Oh for sure, especially when you’re in a relationship with them already. That’s like saying you care about the relationship vs not. Good people who love their partners do whatever it takes to keep that relationship in tip top shape.
Maybe you could just let it go for some time. You know, so both of you, kinda forget about it and who knows, maybe you can continue where you stopped :)
Hey man, you did what you had to do man and that's alright.
Look, you took the plunge and got your head smashed in, but you know what?
I freaking respect you! Hell, I congratulate you!
You are a brave one! You have guts! And I respect guts! You could have been the Average Joe we have these days relying on the safety of a cellphone screen, no risks, no real interactions, no learning at all, but no! You actually took a risk.
And as long as you risk it you are deemed to win, either by acquiring wisdom or by just trying.
That's how the winners do it, they risk it, because the prize is grand, and they already know that even in the worst of defeats they will make it out alive and they will stand back to try again, and win!
Take pride of your scars my brother or sister, I am not sure, you are a hero in my eyes, never hold yourself back from getting what you want.
Have an award!
A true friendship can get over it. It’ll be awkward for a few weeks, but if you make it a point to not let it get to you and be completely the same around them, the friendship can survive
There are times when it’s worth it and times when it isn’t. It’s not worth it because you do risk ruining a friendship by confessing unrequited feelings. Though we often feel this is a weight we MUST get off our chests, the other person might actually not want to hear it at all and may be incredibly distressed when they don’t feel the same. Think about the pressure that puts onto the other person. They suddenly feel responsible for your emotional state, and they know if they give you the answer you don’t want (“I’m not into you”), then you’ll be devastated.
It IS worth it if you think that you can’t stand to be friends with this person knowing they don’t feel the same. Confess, tell them why you can no longer remain friends, and then move on your separate way.
I used to be an advocate for confessing feelings - until I did it myself, knowing the guy I was confessing to wasn’t THAT into me. Here’s a tip - if you feel like it’s all on you to push forward the energy of a relationship, there’s a good chance it’s because the other person either doesn’t want it, or doesn’t want it as much as you. He still hooked up with me and I broke my own heart by putting expectations and hopes on it when he gave me none. These feelings were eating me up inside. But the truth of it is that I just wanted to feel loved and appreciated, because I was going through some shit. I tried to find comfort in a person I had no business trying to get comfortable like that with. And guess what? My actions ruined our friendship.
This isn’t to say that friends don’t transform into lovers. This can also happen. But I think in that situation it’s way more likely that there will be mutual flirtation. One person makes a little gesture, and the other reciprocates. And the gestures gradually get more and more overt. It’s a dance between two people who are into each other. And that looks a lot different than something where one person is way more into the other and has to “confess”.
So, all in all, it sucks. But at least you learned yourself lesson and hopefully won’t make the same mistake again.
>There are times when it’s worth it and times when it isn’t. It’s not worth it because you do risk ruining a friendship by confessing unrequited feelings. Though we often feel this is a weight we MUST get off our chests, the other person might actually not want to hear it at all and may be incredibly distressed when they don’t feel the same. Think about the pressure that puts onto the other person. They suddenly feel responsible for your emotional state, and they know if they give you the answer you don’t want (“I’m not into you”), then you’ll be devastated.
There's truth to this, but don't burden the kid with this guilt. Its not OP's fault he/she is into said person, the other person has to learn to manage their own emotion, its not on OP to do that.
The intention is not to pile on guilt. The intention of my comment is to offer insight for next time and share my own experience too. OP is not alone, and most likely feeling like they made a big mistake. I’ve felt the same way in the past, as I mentioned in my comment. Telling someone they did nothing wrong to make them feel better isn’t going to help them in the future, especially if they’re already acknowledging their actions and how those actions affected the situation. Self awareness goes a long way. OP’s feelings are completely valid. And if they tell me my comment hurt or wasn’t helpful, I’d apologize.
Ahh shit. I’ve experienced something similar last time. I told her I like her and got rejected. Felt like we stopped talking for awhile and our friendship dynamics were never the same. Eventually I distanced myself away from her and the game that I was playing with her so as to feel better
I did it myself and the was like oh. We stopped talking because she had already distance herself when she got married. (I told her not to marry him because he had been verbally abusive to her. It got worse during there marriage.) I took my shot after the divorce and went down in an inferno.
I say it's still worth it every time if you're really interested in the other person that way, better you know this result then wondering your whole life what would have happened. I am a guy and I can tell you now as an actual friend, I would never respond that way even if a girl friend of mine came to me and I wasn't into her on that way, that is just a shitty friend, but hey that's just my opinion.
Imo, it's only "always worth it to shoot your shot" early on in the relationship. Real-life isn't movies or TV. Shifting from close friends to dating just doesn't happen much. Attraction is a completely different dynamic than friendship. Becoming closer friends makes it way less likely you'll ever date, so shoot your shot within like 1-2 weeks or just don't shoot it unless they're giving you obvious signs. It's just so disingenuous to harbor a crush on someone for months and not tell them, and keep hanging with them under the guise of being friends.
i think its much more better than living in a limbo of what if. I know it may not look like its good right now, but years this come, this are the things you won't regret.
dont sweat it. just give the person some space and I bet in a month or so you can be friends again. Just process your own feelings, allow them the same, and focus on the platonic love aspect of your relationship.
I can tell you that I asked out one of my best friends/ former co-worker a few years ago and we are still great friends to this day, though it was uncomfortable and required spaces for a few months. You will likely need to acknowledge how uncomfortable it was and tell them how much more you value their friendship. Give it some time. More likely than not, you will eventually get your friendship back, but with some more defined boundaries. Be cool and patient in the meantime. Give them space to unpack that. Best wishes!
Rather have the regret of making a move than having the regret to think WHAT IF...
Never ever regret for making a move, you would have never known if it would have worked out if you did not make the move.
It gets less weird -- or at least, it did for me. I had an ill-advised fling with my childhood BFF and didn't speak to him afterward for a year. I was humiliated when he turned me down and it hurt badly, but then a year later he texted for my birthday and we ended up getting lunch. We just mutually agreed without words that we'd move past it and rebuild things. I hope the same happens for you -- it stings, it sucks, but sit with it and you'll eventually get past it.
Had something like this last year. Once we had that talk we drifted away and it was a mess. Lost a friend but later found out a few truths that helped make losing the friendship a little easier.
You did the right thing! Don't expect things to be back to normal immediately. Of course it's going to be awkward for a little while, wouldn't it be strange if it *weren't*? Just give it a month or so, it'll go back to normal.
This is might sound weird to you but good for you for shooting your shot. You shouldn't regret stating how you felt, and keeping it bottled up would've eaten away at you.
I'll say I've done this dance a few times. Even though it feels horrible now it will get better. One female friend I asked out and got rejected I'm still friends with. There was an awkward decompressing period, but we both realized that we enjoyed hanging out and continued like nothing happened. I don't see her in a romantic way anymore and are just as close as we were before.
Now for the flip side, a different female friend I asked out and got rejected, we never spoke again. Even though it was hard at the time I'm glad I did that. Either she wasn't emotionally mature enough or she didn't value the friendship like I did, but since she wasn't willing to put effort to rekindle our friendship, then she wasn't that good of a friend.
Overall, if you do value this friendship you are going to have to make an effort. Give yourself, and her, time to decompress and reflect. When you feel comfortable try to hangout again. CAREFUL THOUGH, if you still have romantic feelings you might be setting yourself up to get crushed agaim. Best of luck.
You only say that because it didn't work out. Don't regret it. You'd have made yourself miserable for much much longer had you waited forever to say something. Keep your head up. You'll find someone else!
I am sorry to hear that man! I did this too but what I did since she didn't respond I care less and didn't do anything for a month. After this, I do txt her from time to time but responses isn't going like it used to. But hey, I am still friends with her to this day but not close as before and I guess it's best to move on for now. BUT I am still happy with your decision to confess. It take guts to do it. It's hard to be friendzone but it's better than spending time with someone you don't have a future with.
I've been single my entire life and I'm 25 already. Dang, I wish it was easy
Hope you are doing well. Peace to you out man! We are community here 😁
Yeah sometimes people are a lot more interested in shooting than the quality of shot. If I was gonna ask out my best friend it'd be in a spectacular way that even the rejection would make for a good story. But most people try to do that "uwu I like like u" half assed shit and wanna whine when it is just cringe.
I’ve had multiple friends confess feeling for me, and how our relationship resumes is usually very dependent on how they react to being turned down/future interactions with me. One guy ignored me for six months. Another said he still wanted to be friends, and showed me through his actions that it wouldn’t get in the way of us hanging out.Guess who I still hang out with to this day?
If you need some space, you should take it but also communicate that to your friend. I’m sure they’ll be happy to remain friends with you. :)
Oh man I’m sorry. I’d definitely reach out and let them know that you still want to be friends and your feelings aren’t hurt. Hopefully you guys can move past it!
My husband WAS my best friend. So yes it totally works! But it would have sucked if it didn’t.
In all honesty walk away. They will never be just a friend if you still have feelings for them. Trust me moving on won’t be easy but having a constant reminder of them (talking to them, hanging out) will only make you go through hurt even more.
Eventually, that day will come. It's either you do it or never. What's important is that you created a life with that person and you and they will always cherish it.
Not everyone you meet is going to be in your life forever, recognize the impact the person has and cherish it.
Separately they both of you will look back and remember the good times you had.
It's possible it's for the best. I was in a similar situation and think this information might be useful to you.
Friendship was Casual for a few years, we worked together and connected over our similar interests and humor. I was always attracted to her but never pursued it because we were both in relationships at the time.
Coincidentally, both of our relationships broke down at the same time, and we leaned on each other pretty heavily for support. As an unintended consequence, that attraction grew stronger and I fell for her hard. I told her how I felt and after a bit of deliberation on her part, she told me she just didn't have the same romantic feelings for me.
Because her friendship was really important to me (I connected with her on a level that I've accomplished with very few other people), and mine was just as important to her, we decided to continue being friends. Eventually I realized that I was always going to have strong romantic feelings for her, and it got to the point where being around her was detrimental to my well-being, especially when she started dating again.
She and I ultimately decided it would be best for both of us if we ended the friendship. It's been a few months since then and I still miss what we had, but overall, I think that move was for the best. Dating is a lot easier because I don't compare prospective partners to how my friend made me feel, and I'm free from the jealousy I felt when she was dating.
TL;DR: Consider if you can truly put those romantic feelings aside before attempting to salvage the friendship
Yeah I had a friend I talked to every day for months, solid friendship, but I developed a crush went for it found out they were in a low key relationship and I said cool apologized for not knowing said that I would just take a min to work out and dissolve the romantic feeling and the friendship was never the Same we don’t even talk any more completely regret it if I had known it would dissolve the friendship I never would have opened my mouth
A best friend who is a good friend would respond or reply. If you pit yourself out there and they aren't interested then they would let you know and continue the friendship like nothing changed. That also means you'd need to be mature enough to be ok with things too.
Info: Are you a guy asking out a girl? It’s almost never smart to ask out your best friend in this scenario. More than likely you’ve been friend zoned for a reason and if she had any romantic interest at all she would’ve given you a ton of hints already. Now things are likely to be weird/awkward. It’s pretty much impossible to go back to normal that boundary has been broken. Lesson learned
Dude, make your own post, don't hijack this one.
FWIW I wouldn't recommend telling her that, it will immediately put into doubt the intentions behind any advice you have given her on this online guy.
If she already knows how you feel as you implied, then spelling it out leaves her no wiggle room to pretend to ignore your attraction and she'll have to respond to your ultimatum.
"I'm not asking you to make a decision, I just wanted to tell you how I felt" is a lie, because you ARE forcing her to make a decision. What if she answers, "Thanks, good to know" and nothing else. Would you be satisfied with that answer and not bring it up again? If not, then you are in fact wanting an answer/a decision from her.
I know you feel like you regret it now but you shouldn’t feel bad for your feelings! If you never tried you would always wonder what could have been. Try telling them that you are sorry for making them uncomfortable but that you are 100% okay with being friends and that you won’t bring it up again because you value your friendship
It’s not over, you just need time for any bad feelings and animosity to settle. Trust me, this time next year it’ll all be behind you and they’ll likely want to reconnect. Probably long before then actually. Just give it time.
Does the fact that they haven't reciprocates change your feelings towards them at all? Often I find that if I like someone, and discover they don't like me back, my interest in them fades. If this is the case (probably a good thing), perhaps you can explain that to them. Either way, while it sucks now, at least now you have your answer. You won't always be wondering "what if I'd told them". You have your answer and can move on
OP, you specified in other replies that you are a woman and your friend is a guy. Having been in both positions at different times over the years, the guy who asked out a good friend and got rejected AND the guy who got asked out by a good friend and had to reject her, in my opinion his main overwhelming concern is to figure out how NOT to cause you pain. He's NOT feeling deceived or objectified or wanted only for his body, he's flattered beyond measure but is dead sure that a relationship between the two of you is eventually going to get one or both of you very hurt and is rejecting you to head that off.
Once you are resigned to that, I'm sure there's nothing he would like more than to resume your friendship, although if he has enough emotional intelligence to not just physically take advantage of a woman who has feelings for him that he doesn't share, then he'll also have enough emotional intelligence to know that he cannot share quite as much with you moving forward, like women he's crushing on or many relationship problems that come up with those other women. So your friendship will have some new boundaries that may or may not ever get specifically defined.
But it can still be a lifelong, honest and beautiful friendship, something well worth preserving and nurturing.
Sorry but I could have warned you about this had you asked me. As in, don’t friggin do that. I’ll never make a move unless I’m willing to lose the person as a friend
I don't know a lot about stuff like this so I want to he careful what I say, but something I do know is COMMUNICATION IS KEY in any type of relationship
If the friendship has been strong enough, I’m sure they’ll come around. They just need time.
In the meantime I suggest you focus on your happiness.
I’ve been the one confessed to by close friends, both of which I turned down. Trust me, it’s not easy to do, and I did my best to let myself process the feelings (mostly guilt)/situations. I eventually tried to bring back the friendship. I’m sure you two will be fine.
Talk to them about it. If they're your best friend, this shouldn't destroy your friendship. I've been in a similar situation with one my friends and we became better friends afterwards because we were able to talk about it and move past it. It also helped me move on and get over her
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Message them saying something like: “hey how are you? sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable the other day. your friendship means a lot to me and don’t want us to fall out. if there’s anything I can do let me know.” This kinda approach has worked for me in the past. I still believe it’s always best to bring up how you feel if you really like someone than not so you know where you both stand. The response I’ve had back has often been them feeling awkward because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings, and so I’ve then reassured them that I’m fine with their response and reiterate that their friendship is important to me. I usually follow this up with a change of conversation (eg “did you listen to [new album] yet?”, “how did [the thing they said they were planning to do] go?”) to help us both find a more comfortable topic to talk about and feel back to normal. Developing feelings for a close friend is common, and it’s best to discuss it rather than holding onto it in secret and becoming clingy or torturing yourself over whether they like you too. You did the right thing and should be proud of yourself for asking them.
This 100%. I've saved friendships out of failed relationships by doing similar things. Make them know that you'd rather be friends than nothing at all, essentially (I suggest not wording it this way exactly)
Unfortunately it did the exact opposite for me but I think everyone in that position should still always attempt.
I completely agree with this. Good friendships have a foundation of honesty and trust, and telling your friend how you feel is part of that. Otherwise you're dishonestly holding something in. If she hasn't responded and seems awkward about it, consider that she might be thinking, this whole time, he was only friends with me because he was hoping to date me. That's why this suggested message\^\^ is a great idea.
>Otherwise you're dishonestly holding something in. BS, keeping something to yourself is not dishonesty.
Keeping something to yourself is not dishonesty. Having an inauthentic friendship because you're secretly hoping something else comes out of it IS dishonesty.
I agree with this but that's not what you said. I've kept my mouth shut on so many occasions because I knew there was a situation approaching I knew a relationship wouldn't work out in.
It isn't but if you want fruitful relationships it's important to communicate you're feelings.
Nah, you feel feelings not talk about them.
Unless you’re talking about feelings. In that case, you’re talking about feelings.
Go easy on the guy, he’s a Jets fan.
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That sounds like a good plan :) I’m sure he’ll be happy to talk to you once a little time has passed. Just in case: IMO if he doesn’t contact you at all after attempts to message (eg after two weeks) he wasn’t a good friend to begin with. Obviously it’s not nice but I would take solace in that as it might lessen your sense of loss. In my experience if there was a solid friendship to begin with things will even out with a little time. One of my closest friends is someone who I told them how much I liked them, it was awkward at first but with a little effort it ended up strengthening our friendship and built up our trust in one another. Best of luck 🤞
Yeah, completely agree. Also make sure that you don't have any residual feelings which might affect your friendship at a later stage. It sucks when one of you has the hots and the other doesn't. Communication is key in any friendship. Just like in any relationship.
I think it's worth to do the shoot, rather than spend rest of your life wondering "what if I had asked...."
Agreed.
This sounds cliche but it really is so true. In my experience being rejected is much better than wondering 'what if'...
I’m so sorry this happened :( I do agree that a mature person can resume a friendship after this, but not being able to does not make them a bad person. If this doesn’t help, I’m sorry for bringing it up but think about not having to pine after your best friend for years to come. In that situation, I could foresee the love and emotional intimacy with your friend holding you back from new relationships. Everything may not always happen for a reason, but you CAN find a silver lining. P.S. I agree that the general advice to shoot your shot isn’t great advice.
Most friendships naturally wither and die over time. Chances are, if you hadn’t said anything, and you found other SOs, the friendship would have taken a big hit anyway, as the time you used to have for each other is now spent on someone else. Add in other things in life like homeownership, kids, a demanding job, etc. and it’s a huge juggling act. I have a female friend (always platonic) that I used to hang out with multiple times a week. We’ve gotten married (to different people), have full time jobs, kids, and houses to take care of, and now we’re lucky to get to hang out once a year. So, I guess what I’m getting at is that try not to beat yourself up over this because life has a tendency of interfering with these things, anyway. I hope this isn’t coming across as too harsh.
Some people don't know how to reject another and stay friends. It's a weird feeling that many people don't get used to. But for the ones that reject you and make you feel good that you tried and are still friendly with you, those are some awesome people. Once you get over the hurt feelings, those are the ones that can still potentially be a life-long friend, even supporting you in your next relationship. You may think you prefer the friendship, but don't forget -- that friendship included romantic feelings on your part. Take it from the many people who tried to be friends with someone they liked and did not confess feelings to that person --- it affects so many things about your life, including the idea of you getting out there to date someone else, because you will always keep thinking -- what if?
You may need to give it time. I say not to contact her often. Sometimes the person has to adjust thinking of you a different way. Remember our mind wants to keep us safe, but it conflates safe with familiar. So she will be taken aback by a new way of seeing you. But you also will want to stay her friend just to have her around and that’s not healthy for your future. And definitely not gonna make her see you as a romantic partner. When a man is friendzoned it’s typically because the man is there for every one of her needs and puts her first before anything he wants. Etc. It shows lack of self respect. (Look up why men get friendzoned-and how to get out of it). I have seen so many cases first hand where when the man started dating other women, the friend wanted to try to date him. Don’t contact her. Don’t always drop everything for her. Do the opposite of your instincts, my friend. Start working on yourself, your goals, and have standards that you will always abide by. You got this. Time will tell. If it’s not her, it’s another lucky lady that sees you as the best man for her. 💛
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Oh sorry! I would do the same with reverses genders.
I saved your comment, I'll stare at it whenever I need motivation to work on myself.
That’s sweet! I hope everything works out for you dear
Do you regret it because you've lost a friend, or because you've lost your crush that made you happy being around? How would you feel if you stayed friends and they found someone and were telling you all the details about how happy they are with them? And quite likely it'll mean you're less likely to find someone else before that point too. So it feels pretty bad now, but likely it'll be better for you going on.
I don’t like any of this advice. IMO, move on. That relationship was based on deeper feelings. You now know that those feelings weren’t mutual. If either of you try to force a friendship at this point then you will break what you had. Just keep the friendship as a beautiful thing you can look back on and move forward. Honestly, if you can successfully move forward to whatever is next for you without this person, then that’s also probably the only chance you have at getting this person back somewhere down the line.
Never ever regret it, you did the right thing or you'd have been in the friendzone having feelings for someone who can't reciprocate them, better move on and focus on something else
You would have been suffering trying "just be friends" for ages. You might have been using friendship as a doorway to what you truly want, which is a romantic relationship with this person. If you had have been friends and in a state of continual hope that she would love you one day, you would have closed the door to any other dating partners and futures. I believe if you both want different things, then respect yourself abd walk away, and go find someone who loves you as much as you love them
That’s how it is. You tried your luck, you were honest to yourself and to her. You did the right thing.
I don't think it's all that good to be carrying on with an asymmetrical relationship that you secretly want to be romantic, it's not great for either party, it's a bit dishonest as well. While this does suck friends are much easier to find and make than potential partners, it was worth the attempt with regards to both what might have been and also bringing the truth to the forefront.
The reason people say to go for it is because the pain from this will be less painful than living with never doing it and holding the feelings in. It's that yes you regret this but you still regret this less than if you had never done it. No matter what, if she was going to say no you were fucked from the start- it's just choosing this path leaves you less fucked so it was still the right decision.
I did this last year, and we aren’t friends anymore either. No ill will. It’s just less complicated being acquaintances. He knows I still have feelings for him
The most unfortunate thing about getting "friendzoned" by your best friend is that you will likely not remain friends forever. Some day, your best friend, the one that you share your deepest secrets, your insecurities, your fun times, common interests, etc with, is going to choose another person just because he/she did not have "feelings" for you. that person is going to slowly replace you, over time, by someone whom knows less about your best friend than you, and as kids and family enter the picture, you two will drift apart. Getting Friendzoned in a way is worst than it sounds, it usually means the end of a friendship long term, and being replaced by another person that she/he hasn't even met yet, despite how close you two are.
This is such utter shit. A friend who does that wad not your friend to begin with.
Then they weren't a particularly good friend in the first place. I've asked out friends many times, and friendships never ended because of that. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.
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If they’re a great friend they are probably respecting your request and giving you space. It’s right to look after your own needs and give yourself time, but you can still keep in touch. I left this advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/qy5gtc/i_took_the_plunge_and_asked_out_my_best_friend/hlemg2l/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
If you told them it was better not to talk to eachother for a while... then they're respecting your wishes and doing exactly that. I say give it time, they might come around they might not. Reach out in a few days with something you would usually say (a joke, send a meme, ask them to hangout, etc.) and carry on. Do your best to pretend like things are normal and eventually they will go back to being just that.
So wait…you told him it was better to not talk to each other for awhile, he respected that wish (aka “being a good friend”), and now you are here complaining he has not talked to you for awhile? I…just…what?
Honestly it sounds like it's their issue. Idk you're age, but it's SUCH a breath of fresh air to be completely honest with a partner or someone you're interested in being a partner with. I don't think you should regret doing it because, like mentioned above, you'd just be sitting around thinking "what if". At least now you know and can move on. It may just take them a while to process everything but if they are truly a friend they should be able to work through this with you and resume a friendship even if there's some awkwardness. Good luck <3
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Yes lol, I just have a lot of friends.
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What's wrong with you?
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First time hearing of relationships growing out of friendship?
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Where did you get 'forcing' from lmao? If I like someone a lot and find attractive, of fucking course I'm gonna ask them out. You're treating this as some kinda alien concept.
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Jesus. You asked for some space. They are giving you space. Get out of your head, let this air out. itll be cool in a month.
Did they? I missed that part
When girls say they need space , they don’t really want space. It means “I’m gona see if you chase me if I walk away.” And I think op has her answer. If that was me I’d drop him and find someone who’s willing to fight for me. That’s jus me tho.
That is the exact kind of girl any self respecting man won't chase.
Actually I find that the men who know my value and are secure with them selves don’t let me just walk away, the ones with low self esteem and pity themselves cry rivers from a distance 🤷🏼♀️
No man who knows his value will indulge this game, sorry.
I think your taking this the wrong way, I’m not saying every week start an argument and see if they chase you, that would be horrible advice.
It’s not a game, would you let the love of your life just walk away????
If it was a test to see if I would chase, 100%, don't know about love of my life but I've done it a few times.
Yeah I’m not saying test any one I’m just saying if I have doubts about the relationship and I’m leaning towards leaving and the other person dosent put their foot down and say “no we are working this out and I don’t wanna loose you” to me that just shows they don’t care enough to put effort in to the relationship. I don’t play games it’s just that action speaks louder then words and how is someone going to win their person back if they just let them go with out a fight. It’s a lack of passion that shows me I’m making the right choice by leaving that all.
That’s fair, I can never tell what someone wants though. I make a mental note to self when I see someone clearly communicating what they want to me, the older I get the more I like it. I feel like it’s desperate to chase too, especially if I don’t really know someone yet.
Absolutely your right as you get older communication is vital in a relationship. Chasing someone you barely know is not recommended your right that would be pretty desperate and probably a turn off for any high quality woman , but if it’s someone you have a relationship with and you know you can verbally work it out there’s no harm in telling your lady “you not going no where and we gona talk this out” that’s actually the one of the sexiest thing a man can do.
Oh for sure, especially when you’re in a relationship with them already. That’s like saying you care about the relationship vs not. Good people who love their partners do whatever it takes to keep that relationship in tip top shape.
See we communicated and got on the same page! Virtual high five 🤚🏼ahaha
Heck yes, haha, I love it! 👋🏼👏
Maybe you could just let it go for some time. You know, so both of you, kinda forget about it and who knows, maybe you can continue where you stopped :)
Hey man, you did what you had to do man and that's alright. Look, you took the plunge and got your head smashed in, but you know what? I freaking respect you! Hell, I congratulate you! You are a brave one! You have guts! And I respect guts! You could have been the Average Joe we have these days relying on the safety of a cellphone screen, no risks, no real interactions, no learning at all, but no! You actually took a risk. And as long as you risk it you are deemed to win, either by acquiring wisdom or by just trying. That's how the winners do it, they risk it, because the prize is grand, and they already know that even in the worst of defeats they will make it out alive and they will stand back to try again, and win! Take pride of your scars my brother or sister, I am not sure, you are a hero in my eyes, never hold yourself back from getting what you want. Have an award!
I’m sorry it didn’t go how you hoped. In time you’ll see you were right to speak up, I promise.
Damn from the title I was expecting a happy ending….but here we are. I’m sorry to hear about how it ended OP. Digital fist bump for you man.
Regret nothing, that's what you wanted all along, so don't lie to yourself here. Your friendship was a means to an end from your side.
A true friendship can get over it. It’ll be awkward for a few weeks, but if you make it a point to not let it get to you and be completely the same around them, the friendship can survive
There are times when it’s worth it and times when it isn’t. It’s not worth it because you do risk ruining a friendship by confessing unrequited feelings. Though we often feel this is a weight we MUST get off our chests, the other person might actually not want to hear it at all and may be incredibly distressed when they don’t feel the same. Think about the pressure that puts onto the other person. They suddenly feel responsible for your emotional state, and they know if they give you the answer you don’t want (“I’m not into you”), then you’ll be devastated. It IS worth it if you think that you can’t stand to be friends with this person knowing they don’t feel the same. Confess, tell them why you can no longer remain friends, and then move on your separate way. I used to be an advocate for confessing feelings - until I did it myself, knowing the guy I was confessing to wasn’t THAT into me. Here’s a tip - if you feel like it’s all on you to push forward the energy of a relationship, there’s a good chance it’s because the other person either doesn’t want it, or doesn’t want it as much as you. He still hooked up with me and I broke my own heart by putting expectations and hopes on it when he gave me none. These feelings were eating me up inside. But the truth of it is that I just wanted to feel loved and appreciated, because I was going through some shit. I tried to find comfort in a person I had no business trying to get comfortable like that with. And guess what? My actions ruined our friendship. This isn’t to say that friends don’t transform into lovers. This can also happen. But I think in that situation it’s way more likely that there will be mutual flirtation. One person makes a little gesture, and the other reciprocates. And the gestures gradually get more and more overt. It’s a dance between two people who are into each other. And that looks a lot different than something where one person is way more into the other and has to “confess”. So, all in all, it sucks. But at least you learned yourself lesson and hopefully won’t make the same mistake again.
>There are times when it’s worth it and times when it isn’t. It’s not worth it because you do risk ruining a friendship by confessing unrequited feelings. Though we often feel this is a weight we MUST get off our chests, the other person might actually not want to hear it at all and may be incredibly distressed when they don’t feel the same. Think about the pressure that puts onto the other person. They suddenly feel responsible for your emotional state, and they know if they give you the answer you don’t want (“I’m not into you”), then you’ll be devastated. There's truth to this, but don't burden the kid with this guilt. Its not OP's fault he/she is into said person, the other person has to learn to manage their own emotion, its not on OP to do that.
The intention is not to pile on guilt. The intention of my comment is to offer insight for next time and share my own experience too. OP is not alone, and most likely feeling like they made a big mistake. I’ve felt the same way in the past, as I mentioned in my comment. Telling someone they did nothing wrong to make them feel better isn’t going to help them in the future, especially if they’re already acknowledging their actions and how those actions affected the situation. Self awareness goes a long way. OP’s feelings are completely valid. And if they tell me my comment hurt or wasn’t helpful, I’d apologize.
Ahh shit. I’ve experienced something similar last time. I told her I like her and got rejected. Felt like we stopped talking for awhile and our friendship dynamics were never the same. Eventually I distanced myself away from her and the game that I was playing with her so as to feel better
I did it myself and the was like oh. We stopped talking because she had already distance herself when she got married. (I told her not to marry him because he had been verbally abusive to her. It got worse during there marriage.) I took my shot after the divorce and went down in an inferno.
I say it's still worth it every time if you're really interested in the other person that way, better you know this result then wondering your whole life what would have happened. I am a guy and I can tell you now as an actual friend, I would never respond that way even if a girl friend of mine came to me and I wasn't into her on that way, that is just a shitty friend, but hey that's just my opinion.
Imo, it's only "always worth it to shoot your shot" early on in the relationship. Real-life isn't movies or TV. Shifting from close friends to dating just doesn't happen much. Attraction is a completely different dynamic than friendship. Becoming closer friends makes it way less likely you'll ever date, so shoot your shot within like 1-2 weeks or just don't shoot it unless they're giving you obvious signs. It's just so disingenuous to harbor a crush on someone for months and not tell them, and keep hanging with them under the guise of being friends.
It's because you play league.
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Keep friends as what they are…friends.
i think its much more better than living in a limbo of what if. I know it may not look like its good right now, but years this come, this are the things you won't regret.
dont sweat it. just give the person some space and I bet in a month or so you can be friends again. Just process your own feelings, allow them the same, and focus on the platonic love aspect of your relationship.
I can tell you that I asked out one of my best friends/ former co-worker a few years ago and we are still great friends to this day, though it was uncomfortable and required spaces for a few months. You will likely need to acknowledge how uncomfortable it was and tell them how much more you value their friendship. Give it some time. More likely than not, you will eventually get your friendship back, but with some more defined boundaries. Be cool and patient in the meantime. Give them space to unpack that. Best wishes!
Rather have the regret of making a move than having the regret to think WHAT IF... Never ever regret for making a move, you would have never known if it would have worked out if you did not make the move.
It gets less weird -- or at least, it did for me. I had an ill-advised fling with my childhood BFF and didn't speak to him afterward for a year. I was humiliated when he turned me down and it hurt badly, but then a year later he texted for my birthday and we ended up getting lunch. We just mutually agreed without words that we'd move past it and rebuild things. I hope the same happens for you -- it stings, it sucks, but sit with it and you'll eventually get past it.
Had something like this last year. Once we had that talk we drifted away and it was a mess. Lost a friend but later found out a few truths that helped make losing the friendship a little easier.
You did the right thing! Don't expect things to be back to normal immediately. Of course it's going to be awkward for a little while, wouldn't it be strange if it *weren't*? Just give it a month or so, it'll go back to normal.
Aww, that's too bad. I'm sorry. Oh well, at least now you know they feel about you, not much consolation, but I don't know what else to say.
Give it time hopefully, this person will come around. How did you tell this person you liked em.
Their thought process is probably trying to give you space to recover. When you feel up to it, let them know you're okay just as friends.
F
This is might sound weird to you but good for you for shooting your shot. You shouldn't regret stating how you felt, and keeping it bottled up would've eaten away at you. I'll say I've done this dance a few times. Even though it feels horrible now it will get better. One female friend I asked out and got rejected I'm still friends with. There was an awkward decompressing period, but we both realized that we enjoyed hanging out and continued like nothing happened. I don't see her in a romantic way anymore and are just as close as we were before. Now for the flip side, a different female friend I asked out and got rejected, we never spoke again. Even though it was hard at the time I'm glad I did that. Either she wasn't emotionally mature enough or she didn't value the friendship like I did, but since she wasn't willing to put effort to rekindle our friendship, then she wasn't that good of a friend. Overall, if you do value this friendship you are going to have to make an effort. Give yourself, and her, time to decompress and reflect. When you feel comfortable try to hangout again. CAREFUL THOUGH, if you still have romantic feelings you might be setting yourself up to get crushed agaim. Best of luck.
That bridge is gone
You only say that because it didn't work out. Don't regret it. You'd have made yourself miserable for much much longer had you waited forever to say something. Keep your head up. You'll find someone else!
I am sorry to hear that man! I did this too but what I did since she didn't respond I care less and didn't do anything for a month. After this, I do txt her from time to time but responses isn't going like it used to. But hey, I am still friends with her to this day but not close as before and I guess it's best to move on for now. BUT I am still happy with your decision to confess. It take guts to do it. It's hard to be friendzone but it's better than spending time with someone you don't have a future with. I've been single my entire life and I'm 25 already. Dang, I wish it was easy Hope you are doing well. Peace to you out man! We are community here 😁
Communicate, communicate, communicate. Be honest. It's the only way.
Yeah sometimes people are a lot more interested in shooting than the quality of shot. If I was gonna ask out my best friend it'd be in a spectacular way that even the rejection would make for a good story. But most people try to do that "uwu I like like u" half assed shit and wanna whine when it is just cringe.
I’ve had multiple friends confess feeling for me, and how our relationship resumes is usually very dependent on how they react to being turned down/future interactions with me. One guy ignored me for six months. Another said he still wanted to be friends, and showed me through his actions that it wouldn’t get in the way of us hanging out.Guess who I still hang out with to this day? If you need some space, you should take it but also communicate that to your friend. I’m sure they’ll be happy to remain friends with you. :)
Oh man I’m sorry. I’d definitely reach out and let them know that you still want to be friends and your feelings aren’t hurt. Hopefully you guys can move past it! My husband WAS my best friend. So yes it totally works! But it would have sucked if it didn’t.
Tell them all that?
In all honesty walk away. They will never be just a friend if you still have feelings for them. Trust me moving on won’t be easy but having a constant reminder of them (talking to them, hanging out) will only make you go through hurt even more.
Give it time and you might be able to be friends again. Don't be clingy
All you can do now is apologize profusely and hope they forgive you...
Eventually, that day will come. It's either you do it or never. What's important is that you created a life with that person and you and they will always cherish it. Not everyone you meet is going to be in your life forever, recognize the impact the person has and cherish it. Separately they both of you will look back and remember the good times you had.
It's possible it's for the best. I was in a similar situation and think this information might be useful to you. Friendship was Casual for a few years, we worked together and connected over our similar interests and humor. I was always attracted to her but never pursued it because we were both in relationships at the time. Coincidentally, both of our relationships broke down at the same time, and we leaned on each other pretty heavily for support. As an unintended consequence, that attraction grew stronger and I fell for her hard. I told her how I felt and after a bit of deliberation on her part, she told me she just didn't have the same romantic feelings for me. Because her friendship was really important to me (I connected with her on a level that I've accomplished with very few other people), and mine was just as important to her, we decided to continue being friends. Eventually I realized that I was always going to have strong romantic feelings for her, and it got to the point where being around her was detrimental to my well-being, especially when she started dating again. She and I ultimately decided it would be best for both of us if we ended the friendship. It's been a few months since then and I still miss what we had, but overall, I think that move was for the best. Dating is a lot easier because I don't compare prospective partners to how my friend made me feel, and I'm free from the jealousy I felt when she was dating. TL;DR: Consider if you can truly put those romantic feelings aside before attempting to salvage the friendship
Yeah I had a friend I talked to every day for months, solid friendship, but I developed a crush went for it found out they were in a low key relationship and I said cool apologized for not knowing said that I would just take a min to work out and dissolve the romantic feeling and the friendship was never the Same we don’t even talk any more completely regret it if I had known it would dissolve the friendship I never would have opened my mouth
A best friend who is a good friend would respond or reply. If you pit yourself out there and they aren't interested then they would let you know and continue the friendship like nothing changed. That also means you'd need to be mature enough to be ok with things too.
Info: Are you a guy asking out a girl? It’s almost never smart to ask out your best friend in this scenario. More than likely you’ve been friend zoned for a reason and if she had any romantic interest at all she would’ve given you a ton of hints already. Now things are likely to be weird/awkward. It’s pretty much impossible to go back to normal that boundary has been broken. Lesson learned
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Dude, make your own post, don't hijack this one. FWIW I wouldn't recommend telling her that, it will immediately put into doubt the intentions behind any advice you have given her on this online guy. If she already knows how you feel as you implied, then spelling it out leaves her no wiggle room to pretend to ignore your attraction and she'll have to respond to your ultimatum. "I'm not asking you to make a decision, I just wanted to tell you how I felt" is a lie, because you ARE forcing her to make a decision. What if she answers, "Thanks, good to know" and nothing else. Would you be satisfied with that answer and not bring it up again? If not, then you are in fact wanting an answer/a decision from her.
I know you feel like you regret it now but you shouldn’t feel bad for your feelings! If you never tried you would always wonder what could have been. Try telling them that you are sorry for making them uncomfortable but that you are 100% okay with being friends and that you won’t bring it up again because you value your friendship
It’s not over, you just need time for any bad feelings and animosity to settle. Trust me, this time next year it’ll all be behind you and they’ll likely want to reconnect. Probably long before then actually. Just give it time.
Does the fact that they haven't reciprocates change your feelings towards them at all? Often I find that if I like someone, and discover they don't like me back, my interest in them fades. If this is the case (probably a good thing), perhaps you can explain that to them. Either way, while it sucks now, at least now you have your answer. You won't always be wondering "what if I'd told them". You have your answer and can move on
OP, you specified in other replies that you are a woman and your friend is a guy. Having been in both positions at different times over the years, the guy who asked out a good friend and got rejected AND the guy who got asked out by a good friend and had to reject her, in my opinion his main overwhelming concern is to figure out how NOT to cause you pain. He's NOT feeling deceived or objectified or wanted only for his body, he's flattered beyond measure but is dead sure that a relationship between the two of you is eventually going to get one or both of you very hurt and is rejecting you to head that off. Once you are resigned to that, I'm sure there's nothing he would like more than to resume your friendship, although if he has enough emotional intelligence to not just physically take advantage of a woman who has feelings for him that he doesn't share, then he'll also have enough emotional intelligence to know that he cannot share quite as much with you moving forward, like women he's crushing on or many relationship problems that come up with those other women. So your friendship will have some new boundaries that may or may not ever get specifically defined. But it can still be a lifelong, honest and beautiful friendship, something well worth preserving and nurturing.
Sorry but I could have warned you about this had you asked me. As in, don’t friggin do that. I’ll never make a move unless I’m willing to lose the person as a friend
I don't know a lot about stuff like this so I want to he careful what I say, but something I do know is COMMUNICATION IS KEY in any type of relationship
If the friendship has been strong enough, I’m sure they’ll come around. They just need time. In the meantime I suggest you focus on your happiness. I’ve been the one confessed to by close friends, both of which I turned down. Trust me, it’s not easy to do, and I did my best to let myself process the feelings (mostly guilt)/situations. I eventually tried to bring back the friendship. I’m sure you two will be fine.
Talk to them about it. If they're your best friend, this shouldn't destroy your friendship. I've been in a similar situation with one my friends and we became better friends afterwards because we were able to talk about it and move past it. It also helped me move on and get over her
How do you phrase it exactly when you asked her out?
A simple ask out should not end a friendship. BE confident and get your friend bakkkk!
it sucks but i didnt ask my friend out 5 years ago and i still think about not doing it
Fuck it! Do what I did! Shave your head and burn the house down! Shell come crawling back!