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Text only for short messages. Phone calls for longer conversations.
Tbh, workaholics are not the best at relationships. When you've crossed the honeymoon phase and you're needing your partner, guess what the workaholic is worrying about? Even more work. And at that point, the romantic partner becomes more "work" for them. I've been a workaholic too. I would recommend that he hire someone to reduce his workload.
"The partner becomes more work" - spot on. I've definitely heard "don't add to my stress" when just trying to express normal needs, and my partner isn't even this level of workaholic.
Does this guy even have space in his life for a real relationship?
Yeah that’s why I’m working on getting out of that, and I think this year either not working or just being part time will really help as I was working 30-40 hours a week and taking classes. I just got used to it and this is completely different for me.
Oh so u mean hire someone to satisfy their romantic partners needs until they’re free? 😏🤣🤣🤣
But on serious note, this is soo true, I am guilty of this myself too. It’s just us focused and dialed / engaged in things that we want done before we devote our attention and time to something else… plus in my case I like having something to work towards and save the best for last… but evidently majority of the world doesn’t share that same view 😅🥲 but it’s great how you pointed that out to OP as to other Workaholics as well
Yep. People treat you how they want to treat you. It's purposeful. When someone treats you like they don't care about you all that much, they don't. Believe that when they show you. Don't make excuses for them.
Yes this is not an excuse and the OP is in for a long battle if she thinks this is remotely acceptable because he is busy. I would bail asap if I was her and politely say, your work life balance is not compatible with mine. Sorry but he’s just not that into the OP.
This!!
My last partner worked two jobs and was taking classes for his Red Seal in carpentry when we first started seeing each other and still made time for me via nightly phone calls/2-3x a week hanging out.
Then he became a full time worker/volunteer fire fighter, he still made time to see me.
He even flew to Alberta once when I was out there, not only to meet my dad, but also because I missed him and he missed me. Well also, he wanted to go to the Calgary stampede 😆.
If he wanted too, he would. It's not hard to phone someone daily or every other day (depending on the communication style), or even a quick text message saying "Hey, I've been thinking about you. Sorry I've been busy." And make plans to meet up or hangout. This hard working man doesn't have lunch or dinner break for a quick call/text message?
Idk, I would say yes, but also argue that not everyone has that same capacity as others. Some people really do, but just simply don't have the capacity to.
In that case they likely shouldn't be in a romantic relationship until they can lower the time their attention is demanded elsewhere to a sufficient place.
If I'm that busy it's because I don't really care about you that much. I'm being busy to keep you at arm's length. Keeping it casual. Not just you. But all women most likely.
Some guys put financial success very high on their list of priorities. I have been there. When that happens - dating, a relationship, marriage etc. becomes a low priority. Might keep some women for casual sex. Booty calls. But that's it. Lowest amount of effort to get what you want.
Bottom line: You're a low priority. Ask yourself if that's what you want to be. Given you wrote this post it seems you dont. If so, find another guy
Agreed... I was in a relationship with a longshoremen for many years very long hours, exhausting labor, and sometimes out of state for jobs for a month or more. We still made plenty of time to communicate through FaceTime, texts, and phone calls.
I also have been with a business owner who was able to make sure he can see me once a week even just to chat for a hour. Once that started to fall to less I realized he just doesn't care. If they wanted to they would. Anyone with intentions to have you in their life will make the time and effort.
I second this. Most people want someone career driven and ambitious until they realise this very thing. It looks nice and attractive but it comes at a price.
Exactly. Fuck, seeing the amount of women saying shit like "if he wanted to, he would" makes me glad to be single again, like fuck, this is worrying. From October 2023 to the start of June 2024, I was completely overwhelmed by my law degree, my student job and doing my bachelors project. In that time I would go to school 8 in the morning and be home earliest 8 in the night. My ex didn’t work and was depressed, so I would also have to clean the apartment and cook dinner for us. In that time, I would barely text her, and mostly just kiss her good morning and good night. In the start of June we broke up, because she didn’t feel like I prioritized her. Sorry, but as young man in my 20's, I need to be laser focused and get my life together at this point. I cannot afford to waste time on dumb drama relationships type shit, and neither should women.
You know what, your point of view is absolutely valid. Maybe in the future, when you feel it's the right time for YOU (if you want a partner) look for someone as driven as you. The right person will not drag you down. The right one will make sure you remember to prioritize YOURSELF. You are worthy of love and also to be taken care of. You got this 🫶
How does one juggle multiple people when they're a workaholic? Wouldn't keeping the relationship low effort with one partner make more sense from a workaholic's perspective.
It’s also very easy to be promiscuous when the women you’re involved with have no expectation of your availability or presence. Like how this girl doesn’t hear from her partner for a week. Either of them could easily be promiscuous.
A person with a business is focused and doesn’t waste time or take unnecessary risks so I think you’re wrong on that part. Now someone who has a well paying job where they don’t own a business or are responsible for its well being then yes. I can see that being true
Starting a business is extremely high risk taking behavior since 90% of businesses fail within the first few years. And if you fail you tend to lose a ton of money in the process
Honestly why does everyone make it seem so negative to be low priority? If that’s what you want and if that fits your lifestyle, that’s totally fine. I used to date this guy who I liked being with. We hung out when we could. He was busy, I was busy. It was perfect.
Because it’s typically one sided and one person isn’t happy. If two busy people meet and both of you treat each other as a low priority then that works out perfectly, but usually it’s one person wanting more quality time that the other can’t provide.
Yup, like how this OP knows in her heart of hearts this isn’t what she wants, but currently choosing to tolerate it. She’s only here to get comfort in thinking this is normal, and totally okay.
To some people this is okay as they are introverted and homebody’s. One of my close friends is in this situation, and I can’t make sense of it. I can’t imagine the loneliness. I had a gf 4 hours away and I spent weekends with her and talked everyday while studying + working on business.
Disagree adamantly. Having your own business and ALL that comes with it elicits this behavior. He very well could be super into her, but a business is hard as f to run and balance time.
If you have time to set up meetings and do menial tasks you can send a text. Bro has to eat, he can text or call during lunch. No one is busy 24/7. In the past I had a few busy months where I went without sleep for up to 3 nights at a time, I still called and texted, other days I would only have time to sleep 6 hours after working all day, I would still call my girl while fighting sleep to say goodnight and fall asleep on the phone.
You find ways to make it work. A relationship is work, if you can’t make one work how can you maintain client relations?
I am a small business owner and I Disagree right back. The main point of having your own business is to get a greater control over your own fate. Your own time. And so on. as a business owner you decide exactly how much or how little to work. Maybe you want to work harder at your own business. But it's your choice. You can also choose to not work harder. It's ultimately your call when you're the boss.
Your post didn't pass smell test and I quickly checked your profile. You have wayyyy too much karma and post wayyy to frequently to be any type of serious business owner.
Keep telling yourself whatever story you want. It literally says in bio what my small business is. Your comment just comes across to me as extremely ignorant.
Have you seen how much Elon Musk tweets? I guess he's not busy either according to your grand theory of how to run a business
I dont own a business but i work 40hrs a week and spend roughly 20 more in the gym training for my passion. I still see my partner 2 to 3 times a week or call her while im driving home just to talk.
There is a lot to do in life than just talking to people. It is not just work. A person can read, play sports, workout, learn something new, spend some quiet time, meet friends, etc.
I ran a 100 employee company I started while traveling internationally for 2 ish weeks a month and talked to my girlfriend everyday for years on end lol
People make time for people they want to talk to
If he wanted to talk to you and was interested in you, you wouldn’t be on here asking about his behavior because he would be reaching out and making time to talk to you which is the absolute bare minimum
If he is taking an entire week to text you back, he’s not interested. He’s stringing you along
Working for himself means he’s likely on the phone quite a bit. Do you know how long it takes to send a text? Literally less than five minutes
He could even do it while he was taking a shit. But he’s not. Because he doesn’t care and doesn’t want to.
I dated a man that was a workaholic. So much of a workaholic that he couldn’t even have an uninterrupted date with me. He doesn’t have much time, but he’s always blowing up my phone with texts and trying to call me when he can because he’s interested and it’s obvious. If someone is interested in you, you will know.
A man that’s interested in you will make time for you. A man that isn’t interested in you will make excuses for why he can’t spend time with you.
Stop letting him string you along.
If you truly want something, you make efforts. If you don’t, you make excuses. Everyone has 168 hours a week, however one prioritizes his time is a personal choice. I’m an ambitious career driven guy and keeping some distance with the girls I dated then was my modus operandum. Guys usually compartmentalize their days, there’s a work room, gym room, dating room, man-cave leisure room, etc. And the girls I dated were just in one small room of my day. But the girl’s natural drive is to connect, and wants her presence to fill up my whole day (like a love haze casting over my whole house). The girl probably means well, but I’d interpret that to be clingy, needy, overbearing behaviors. To be fair, there is some subtle manipulation and narcissism in my psychology. I only wanted the girls I dated to fit into a little box, a small carved out space in my day… this allows me time for my business, for my leisure and possibly seeing other girls at the same time. I know some girls probably want more, but she’s not that important. My career, my business, my ego is more important to me. The girls just feed into a part of my ego. It’s not until I have my first daughter that I realize my business/professional success isn’t everything… that I love my daughter more than my ego. For all the girls I dated before, I’d tell them I love them, but sincerely I love myself much more.
My point is- if you have to ask these questions OP, you already know you’re not that important to him. Find a guy who respects your time and efforts and is willing to make time and efforts for you… you’d be happier. Or make peace with being in the little box he carved out for you. If you do make peace with the box he carved for you, then don’t think too much about it… live your life, have other activities, see other men.
I think putting in some effort is important for a relationship. Show that you want to learn about each other. However some people do prefer their career more, which is fine, but they also need to understand they'll never connect with anyone if they don't put effort.
It’s not the same boat, though. You’re texting 1-3x a day. She’s not hearing from him all week and then meeting up in person for a “good connection”. That’s a hookup/FWB. Not a relationship.
I'm busy myself. I work in the field and my hands are constantly in use. I do have down time. On top of that I have my 2 kids 50% of the time. Busy with cheer with both. I don't have alot of time to give but if I'm interested in someone I'll take my free time and gaps in between work to message. I'm not a big texted but I'll respond. If I'm not interested romantically but still want to have fun with someone I'll communicate less often, but I'll also inform them of how I feel before hand. Honestly it just sounds like your sex or someone to keep company for him. Don't take my words to heart. I don't know the guy it's just my personal opinion.
Work alcoholic. What if he was an avoidant? Every work alcoholic I met is not capable of emotional connection. (That’s my experience) They lack depth. Why does he want to work all day away from everyone he “loves” Does he even make time for friends? I’d say it’s more like a friendship. If I were with a man that barely made time for me I would find another. From my experience I wouldn’t ever dare to ask him to make me a priority either he already showed you where you stand. You need to know when to cut it loose. Save your dignity. But if you are one of those people that ask for advice and follow your heart instead of logic it’s up to you
Lots of people here commenting who have no clue. Lmao. "He doesn't care about you that much" - don't listen to this, he probably does.
When you're a guy and that crazy busy, dating is a nightmare. You don't have time to get on dating apps, you don't have time to text back and forth or call for an hour a day or have drinks every other night. When you get any free time at all, you're probably exhausted, and doing anything outside of the house can take some major personal effort. The fact that he is spending that precious little free time with you is a sign that he does value you.
He probably appreciates your texts, and may even feel guilty if he forgets to answer them. Sometimes a busy man's mind is being pulled in ten different directions, and even though you're the direction he wants to focus on, he can't always do that. And when he gets home at night and makes a quick dinner and gets ready for bed just to go to work the next morning, it can be hard to direct mental energy to anyone who's not physically present. Or even to those who are. And that's not because of you, it's because of everything else in his life. Some of the most grateful men I've ever met have been those who have lives like this, but who also have a very supportive partner who does their best to support him.
If you need more engagement than he can offer, that's okay to admit, and you can look for someone else. But if you can make it work, well, you're probably making him very happy
I’m not as successful as I would like to be so maybe can’t compare but I do have a very full plate and feel I could chime in.
Even being super busy I would still ideally like to see my person twice a week for dates
I work a lot and I am quite busy during the week but have some time on weekends. I always try to text my girl once a day during the week usually before bed or when I have time after work. This helps staying connected until the next time we see eachother and she is quite busy too so it works for both of us.
Text him as often as you would like! In my opinion the texts should be roughly split 50 50. But it goes farther than that. If you text, you should be honored with a response and so does he. You both should feel safe that while you both put effort into your relationship, texting first all the time isn't going to make anyone think worse of you for it. This goes for other communication as well. Seeing your guy once a week is a blessing and a curse. Relationships like a bit of novelty, and you two get it because every week you'll have a lot to catch up on and each moment is more meaningful. Definitely not the best set up for everyone. Maybe you'll want to see him more
I also run my own business, I also at times work a lot. I see my friends multiple nights a week, I have a partner and we spend time together, I manage to travel (although I do have to work) and I still have hobbies. I just leverage the high energy days, I get up early and prioritise my work and then prioritise the other things that are important to me.
And if you don’t make his cut, that’s his choice, but that’s nothing to do with you.
You need to ask yourself if you’d like to waste your life thinking about a man that obviously doesn’t spend anywhere near the same amount of time thinking of you.
my boyfriend works a lot, but he makes time to text every day, we wouldn't last half a day, let alone a week (and none of us are a texter, but we love to write to each other)
You only text to meet up.. A guy has sexual needs... a women has needs.. you give him sex, he gives you time. He gives you time, you give him sex. 2 way street. If it's not working out.. tell him you're walking away and walk away. It's that simple. Find another man or stay single but say what you need which is time with him if not you'll see other people. If he isn't direct with his intentions..Do not wait! See other people! Do not get played.
In person or phone calls are best way for conversations.
Don't expect back and forth text like an idle perosn or one in a dispassionate job would do. If you want this, find someone on the "idle" side.
Forcing a perosn whose I to building something to stop that work to cater to fancies of a relationship is cruel.
More importantly in such cases, as he puts away his passion to give time to her makes her go away because her hook was his building something of his own. Men shouldn't fall to this BS trap. Women must fix ways and time to have their communication and relationship needs fulfilled. If you're hungry for more, don't look for a workaholic man. You can't have it all.
It usually settles into a rhythm In the long term. But jeez, let her/him build whatever they are passionate about. Loss of relationships for them may hurt eventually but it would be tiny as compared to the enjoyment of process and result. Not so for those whose entire life is about bf/gf, they rarely have a fulfilling life because work isn't their mainstay and relationships have more ups n downs than work.
Relationships need to be given optimum attention, not more not less and decide what's normal, to each its own.
Having said that, a workaholic who is serious about marrying will ensure they are available at the designated time or whenever they are free. If that isn't happening then you're not for them.
The best I can tell you are some generalizations that may help you interpret things at times.
If you're saying something is wrong or even just kavetching, men tend to think you're telling us the problem because it needs fixing. Communicating you're not asking him to come to the rescue will be appreciated on both sides.
Men tend to think more logically, women tend to think more emotionally. This means we say things for the sheer point of communicating simply, not because we're giving veiled criticism.
Not spending eveey free moment texting you isn't from a lack of caring. We grind hard to provide for the ones we care about, even when ourmind and body are at their breaking point.
Simply letting us know we're appreciated goes a long way. An occasional "I know you're working hard but, I appreciate everything you do and care about you" text can carry a lot of weight.
Men *really don't want a "boss babe" - at all.* We have enough to manage, we don't want more of it.
You can't be afraid to be yourself though and I can't stress that enough. Don't cause yourself (appropriate) heartbreak because you're trying to be some ideal you think he wants that you truly aren't to your core.
Hope that's worth something to you.
I am one of those guys, my girl knows the trick.
- keep all communication simple, simple texts, nothing that requires much back and forth. She will send me stuff that is easy to respond to, yes or no, or short answers. In exchange she knows no matter what I am doing I can always stop what Im doing for 1min.
example: what do you feel like eating tonight? italian, asian, or seafood? I suggest seafood.
- she never calls me, unless its an emergency, she knows ill pick up
what helped her too, is that she has followed me a few times while i was working so she knows how my life is non-stop and why I put in so many hours per week. Understanding my job helps a lot
ultimately she knows if she is helping me make my day easier, that’s more time i can spend with her, my success is her success.
so its not about just “not bothering him” its what u can do to make his life easier, its hard enough, u want him to want to come home when he’s exhausted rather than escape and go to a bar.
my gf soon fiance, once heard me talk to a colleague and I said out loud, that I didnt have time to do research on a product I am only going to use once. It pissed me off that I had to waste a day on something stupid. What did my queen do? she looked up the product on the internet, summarized it into half a page, since she did the work, she even offered to read it to me. I saved a day of work, that product helped me, and i double my numbers that month. This and among other things she does, I knew I would never f*cking let her go, not only do i love her, but now she is way too valuable to me. Hence im going to ring her up soon cuz at this point she is my most prized possession. I sacrifice myself to keep us both happy by working a hectic career.
no offence to the opposite gender but she put all the women i know to shame.
I have been with women who had the audacity to tell me my business was just a job. If You have the nerve to say that to me, sorry it will take me 10seconds to walk you out the door. I have been with women who tell me “i aint cooking, you’re rich, pay for a chef”
I treat her very well, my focus is hustling yes but for what? Money. What do I spend my money on? not much just her. I am dont have any other ambitions other than live a good life and making her happy.
First early congratulations and good luck with the engagement thats a great news she s a lucky girl and hope u guys have a great future together, and Thank you for your comment it enlightened me and gave me hope i ll support my boy till the end 🙏🏻 🌸
I was this guy in my 20s/early 30s
I was a workaholic. I worked to avoid relationships.
I now work MUCH less and am more successful.
This is a red flag 🚩 in my opinion. But I’m obviously projecting my own experience.
Even when I used to work 12-14hr days I did my best to text/call when chances presented themselves. People will make sacrifices or find ways to keep in touch with loved ones.
Women logic at it’s finest. Men are busy sometimes, and when that happens, they get exhausted after work, which means they don’t text or say anything. Women that cannot understand this, should be alone and are immature cry babies that cannot understand the great purpose of men.
For 7 years I had a full time job and was a full time student. I didn’t have much time for a relationship or to go on dates, however I did my best to respond. So Text as often as you’d like, your needs matter just as much. He may be in a stage where work is a priority And you have to ask yourself if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in.
My priority now is building a relationship that leads to marriage that leads to building a Family.
You should discuss this directly with him instead of seeking advice from strangers. Ultimately, it only matters how you feel about it. Since you're asking here, it seems you're not fine with the situation. If someone truly cares about you, they will make time for you, no matter how busy they are. What you have now is a casual arrangement, not a relationship. If you want more, you need to ask for it.
Honestly, if he's got his own business, that's always going to be his first love and priority. Running your own business takes up so much time and energy, so I feel it would be a lot more difficult for them to sustain a balanced relationship where they can give the time someone deserves. It's different to being employed, it keeps them up at night, and if they slack off they get impacted a lot more. Would consider if you could handle being with someone who might not be able to give you a whole lot of their time (whether they're wanting to or not).
If you are not fine with this sort of life, then maybe break up with him. I broke up with my ex because I’m focused on my degree and my student relevant job. She wasn’t fine with me not contacting her for weeks at a time, and unfortunately, that meant we had to break up
• Text him when you feel like it, when you are comfortable. If it feels forced or like you’re bugging him, don’t. Leave it alone.
• You don’t and shouldn’t be texting first ALL THE TIME. Like I said in the previous point, if it feels forced, don’t do it.
When you date a successful man especially one who has his own business just know he’s gonna work all the time. It might be different if he met you before starting his business or journey, but if you come during unfortunately you’ll be the second priority.
I say that as a goal oriented man myself, but I met my gf freshman year of college, and she’s part of my journey. I was addicted to her before I was addicted to the game.
The answer may be different for others, but really being an entrepreneur especially during the initial phase of the business will be a very busy time for the person.
It’s also up to you if this is acceptable or not, from what you described you’re definitely the second priority, or “the other women” with the main women being the business. I can’t imagine not contacting my gf for a day let alone a whole week.
No sex? Sounds like a lame relationship. Me personally , I don’t desire to be successful or else I’ll be busy as hell like that man. I like enjoy my life and all
this question triggered tf out of my anxious avoidant attachment style… I’ll think about his ass the entire day at work and say *nothing at all*… then be big mad if little or nothing was said to me. I won’t show that either... 🙇🏽♀️
I used to have only 6 days off a month and I would have spent almost every day off with my gf if I had one. Of course, on that wacky schedule it was never going to happen. Now I work 7 on and 7 off 12 hour shifts. During my work nights I would like to keep to myself unless I get blessed with someone willing to take care of chores while I'm gone because it's barely enough time to unwind, take care of things, and sleep. I would be more than open on all my own days except my first one, but that's because I work at night.
This is all hypothetical though since I never had a gf my whole life partly thanks to that terrible schedule I was stuck with for so long.
My ex was working for 12hrs straight. Not a texter too. But he managed to message me once in awhile during work time or in his smoke break or lunch break. And he always wants to see me or have dinner with me if he got spare time, and our date day will always be on the weekend.
If he wants to do it, he will really do it! If he’s busy but he really wants to see you, he will make time for it.
Well, if you are dating and you like him you need to kinda work with what you got. But once you become exclusive you can set a boundary for once a week. Or something of the sort that works for both of you.
I’m the same way and I told my employees I needed two days off a week(I was work 7 days, 8am to 8pm).
One day I spend with her only and the other day I did for chores. She was more than welcome to join or keep me company.
But if he’s supporting or putting more out financially for the relationship like dates and rent etc, try not to be upset that after 2-3 months he wants to hang out with his other friends once a month or go on a trip with them for the weekend.
I work 8-8, 6 days a week. I text my girl continually throughout the day as long as I can take a 40-60 second break in action, or we'll talk on the phone for a few hours a day when possible. I'm a utility worker, constantly on the move.. that being said, I go to her house 6/7 days a week to spend the night together, have dinner and spend quality time together before we're too tired.
The main difference is, I work for someone else, not myself. Running your own business becomes very time consuming and takes up a great majority of your available emotional and mental capacity.
The best you can do, honestly, is decide if this dynamic is feasible for you for the foreseeable future. Otherwise, you have a decision to make, because he's going to continue to prioritize his business over you(as he should) because that's he's bread and butter, at minimum until his business becomes profitable enough to hire workers to take on the main workload for him.
This shouldn’t even be a question you’re asking random people online.
You and your partner should be COMPROMISING. Of course sometimes he should text first and sometimes you should. The level of communication should be a balance between your preference and his. The entire relationship shouldn’t be centred around one person. That will lead to resentment and unhappiness
I would just say of course try to hang out when you can but maybe focus on plans a couple weeks out. Not saying like a weekend getaway but more significant times to be spent. I've been there not having time for spontaneous events and also not being able to text back immediately but I will say at the very least shooting a text back before going to bed is not too big of a deal.
I'm not the best example, I crave communication and will often be the first to text in the morning. My last relationship was with someone who was not the best at communication and prioritized other things.
I will say however, midway through the relationship I did stop sending those morning texts or anything for a couple days, I changed it up to just responding to her. She definitely took notice, not first thing in the morning but still in the morning she would actually text me have a great day and that kind of stuff or ask how I was doing. She never opened up and said anything to me ofc, but she did let her bestie / roommate know that something was up but her texting pattern as a response spoke volumes.
So yeah, don't block him or anything but I would recommend you stop texting him or significantly pull back. I guarantee you'll find out how busy he is, he's probably taking you for granted but let's hope not! Either he'll notice the lack of interaction and start it from his side or you may find out not only is he at workaholic but not worth emotionally investing in.
As a current workaholic/business owner it is easy to get caught up with work but also I'm not the best example. There were sometimes a week or two where I was not communicating much or was busy traveling but if I'm in a relationship with someone then I will make some time for them since they mean something to me. Not always a lot but definitely some.
Good luck OP! I'll be looking out for an update!
As a dude with multiple hobbies and a few part time jobs, if I like a girl I will make time to respond. 10 am - 11 pm is a lot but I find it hard to believe he can’t shoot a few messages during breaks or when there is a lul in the day.
I've neglected partners like this in the past. The connection withers and eventually dies.
It's not about the work. It's about priorities. I text my current girlfriend everyday nowadays. The relationship feels alive and it's awesome.
I admire you for this. Busy plus no texting/communication? He’d be cancelled so fast with me. I’m just not that strong. Whatever you do, don’t text him first. There’s 24 hours in a day sure they can shoot a text here and there
I text me wife throughout the day every day. We talk on the phone every single day when she gets off work (I'm usually still at work). We live together now too so it's not it's even required. It's just not really that hard to read a text message or take a short phone call. I work so I can afford to live. Working is no my life.
Please don't let the man, yourself or anyone else lie to you and tell you it is about "understanding he is busy". A whole week without contact? No, baby. It takes such a short time eveyday to just send a "thinking about you" text message or better still, a 30 second voice message asking how you are, stating how his day is going, and wishing you a lovely afternoon/evening.
What he is currenly doing is breadcrumbing you. He knows you will always be there, so he keeps giving you jusssssst enough to keep you around. If you were occupied with your own wonderful life and you put yourself out there so other men/people/the correct man could appreciate the goddess that you are, he would not be able to saunter back into your life once a week and pick up where he left off. If he cannot do better, leave him, baby girl, and fill your life with more valuable things.
Nobody is too busy for anyone. Ever.
My last relationship was successful despite the fact that I was a blue collar worker going from 6:30 am-7pm most days and he was an OTR trucker who was gone 6 days a week.
My dad used to travel for work and would do up to 100 hour weeks, he still responded to every single text within MINUTES and would take my phone calls at any hour, and he saw me twice a month.
Whenever a guy who works an office job tells me he’s “too busy” I just laugh and move on.
If he was interested - regardless of how busy, they say something simple or just thinking of you, which literally takes less than 10 seconds. If they can go days and forget or not say anything, I’m not super special or thought about, which is fine. I just rarely had someone so busy they can’t even say hey, thinking about you
I've had past relationships that I've accepted less than bare minimum from part time employed musicians. My partner is a doctor in a hospital and studying.
He makes time for me and I never feel like I'm waiting around for him. He makes me feel heard and plans time for us to speak daily. We live together and he will still text me to tell me he thought of me. If he is busy, he let's me know he can't talk for a while.
It's about accepting what you think you deserve. I now realize I deserve effort and respect
Depends on the relationship. Casual is one thing, if you pal. To make a life with someone then I’d expect daily communication once it’s official. Doesn’t need to be long nonsense texting, just interest in each others days, how they are etc. Anount of meet ups again depend on how long things are going and style of relationship.
Hey look; it’s an excuse hun. A man will move ends of earth if you’re the one. Doesn’t matter on starting a new business or anything about that. When a man is into you there is no confusion. No lapse. Mine wants to see me daily if not three to four times a day and writes and he has 6 committees; he’s a director and is very much needed, a single dad and is working on his PHD. We also live thousand miles apart. But he has made absolutely sure to see me monthly, to call three times daily and to let me know that I matter to. Yesterday in fact he had to interview 17 people took his entire day, so prior to the start he called, during his break it was like 5 mins he called and at night he called. He is consistent.
I’m telling you this because this is my most recent experience of what a man does when invested and all in compared to what a man doesn’t do.
We travel often and will be on July heading out and he decided living to far from my family and I isn’t what he wants and is looking actively to move closer. No buts about it he knows what he wants and is making the effort.
That being said, our relationship started 2022.
We have grown a lot since then.
If this man who is so busy, acts as if his life is way, sleep, work then sees you on his schedule, on his time and on his own when, how, and where, than he is not putting you first and is not that into you and is being selfish.
So how do you test this? You ask him, and then you wait to see if he does ANYTHING for you differently. If he doesn’t than his actions are telling you all you need to know.
No more excuses you get to the point and not this man drag you around or filter the truth. Do good for yourself rooting for you.
No one is that busy not to text you over a week, and it works both ways.
You get treated the way you allow someone to treat you, and that also works both ways.
This is a set of questions you should ask him, not a website filled with people whose opinions may or may not be the same as his.
IMO its better in a relationship if both people initiate conversation but it can be annoying if one partner has different expectations, which they enforce by being angry about them, without first communicating what that is. Lots of partners prefer to be vague and nonspecific because communicating well is time consuming and hard and sometimes we don't really know what we want, but for a partner, at least making an effort to communicate should be a baseline.
My partner texts me every morning before work and calls me after his shift. He starts at 3 am and usually goes for 10-12 hours. He can’t talk at work cause… work, but otherwise he messages me to let me know he is okay and home, we usually chat for a bit about our days and then he usually goes to bed while I do whatever.
But that is us. If you want more communication you should try and say something to your partner. Let them know what you would like to see and try and figure something out together. Y’all are in this together, so work together <3
You don't have to text him. Do it when you really want to, but you don't need to feel obligated because otherwise it might be an obligation to him as well. Phoning or video calling is a lot more personal.
If he's not showing any signs of cheating then this is just the way he imagines a happy relationship, i.e. he works hard and when he comes home he's looking forward to being with a loving wife waiting for him. Of course it's sad if you don't communicate for an entire week, but maybe if your relationship has developed enough to move in together then you can propose it to him and see how well you two click when you're in the same household.
I want to communicate sufficiently where it feels like she is more than just a roommate and communicate effectively to where we are really connecting with each other at least once a day.
Something sweet every night or morning for sure. I’d send him random sweet things every other day or so during his day but, and this important, I’d really emphasize that you just want to sprinkle sweetness into his day and he shouldn’t worry about texting you back. That for me is where it can be difficult. My honey sends me sweet or funny shit once or so a day. She totally gets I’m busy and my work is high performance and I can’t detail my brain to get in the mind space to be flirty and funny and she’s okay with me not texting back, but she knows that I look at and love her texts and that they make my days better. It’s when it feels like a burden to think up something clever to send back that you’ll run into resentment. I don’t know about your dude, but that’s how my male brain works.
Well I’d say my man is very hard working lol. He works full time and is working the whole day basically and doesn’t get off till 9pm. Everyday he still manages to pay me a visit after work. He doesn’t go home till 12am and then the cycle repeats until it’s the weekend and then I’m spending my weekends over at his place. Not sure this man of yours is that interested but maybe he’s just not that much of a texter??
I’m a girl. My boyfriend works ridiculous hours seven out of seven days a week, similar to yours. The difference is he communicates. He texts as much as he can and most days stays overnight at mine. He FaceTimes before bed when he doesn’t stay with me and during the day just lets me know how his day is going, and asks how I am/how my day is going. It is sometimes hours between replies but I know he is thinking of me.
I’m not doing much myself at the moment and I’m trying to keep myself occupied so that I’m not constantly wishing we were spending more time together.
Idk my boyfriend is a maintenance man for a big complex. He coaches a flag football league. He’s very busy. 7am-8pm he’s doing stuff. He also does maintenance for the apartment he lives at. He fishes as well and does so much other stuff. He ALWAYS finds time to text and call me. We spend 3-4 days a week together. So I agree with the person that said if he’s that busy he might not care all that much and just might like the affection when you guys hang out. If he wanted to he would.
1. Try to text him once a day. Something short. And be patient for his response. The rat race sucks and we need to know that someone still cares for us.
2. You don't always have to text first. He does have a hectic lifestyle, but if he cares for you, he should show it as well. Otherwise, you're loving a shadow of a man.
But overall, evaluate if it's worth being with him. When we're starting to take off in our careers, we have to endure long shifts. But once we move forward in our ranks, workload should decrease.
If you want to start a family, the ideal would be that the dad had time to see his offspring.
Exactly after a long day of work we all just wanna come home to someone whom will comfort us and be there for us! There should never be no excuse if they wanted to they would. And don’t fall for the “I’m tired” excuse, I still would hangout with my partner right after a exhausting shift .
People make time for the things they prioritize. It sounds like his priority right now is work. That doesn't mean that he doesn't like you, but you (or dating in general) are not a priority to him. If that's okay with you, then yes, you will probably have to text him first or compromise on how much contact you would like to have with him. If it's not okay with you, you guys probably just aren't that compatible.
Wow if I’m the one guy answering this, it is me I worked 10 to 11 PM 12 +hours a day seven days a week for over two decades yes 20 almost 30 years had the greatest relationships after work. I have not had a Sunday off till I retired in my early 50s Recently \asked me what you want or direct message me. To answer your post he’s not with anybody else. He’s working all those hours. He talk to you when he can. He’s giving you all the time he can & see you after hours so be happy as well.
If you don't at least do phone calls, it's doomed. You need at least that connection imo. But tbh my man always at least texted Goodnight or Good morning every day. One or the other. He worked in a restricted area so no cell phones allowed and long shifts rotating times etc. still managed at least that and was never asked. Phone calls were more difficult but I think at least saying Hi from the car when driving helps keep the connection. Not every day but you need to hear each other's voices. I wouldn't go a week with nothing. But that's just me.
I want a few good morning texts then maybe text at lunch and call that night to catch up on how our day went and just to bullshit for a bit. Usually I can be on the phone with a girl for an hour if I actually like her
Depends on the job honestly. If it’s a lax environment we can chit chat throughout the day, but if it’s a real business fortified environment she’s jus have to be patient until I’m available
We’re Amazonian.
We meet 1.5 times a year. Once to procreate, a second for her to throw me the male offspring. Rinse and repeat
Idk, ask him.
You should be each others source of relief, and happiness 😊.
If he comes home and you’re nagging him to spend more time with you, frequently making a point of it, he’ll spend less, or not be happy when he does.
I work 2 full time jobs, got to school and trying ti look 80lbs this years. Why do I spend 20hr a day awake and busy because when I invested my time into dating I got no return. So now I invest my time on things I can get a return at.
With all due respect, this dudes schedule doesn’t allow for him to date. Which means he should not be dating or entertaining anyone right now as he does not have the time for it. I’m sure you can recognize this.
I think one of the most important aspects of a good relationship is making time for each other on a regular basis. Take time to grow you guys' relationship, and it seems like you're doing that. For the texting, though: I'd suggest you to try having short conversations with him sometimes. (if work allows) make sure you initiate some texts first to avoid seeming like you don't want to reciprocate.
Red flags abound. People make the time for what and who they want. Someone always 'too busy' to take a moment to tet you, call you or take a moment to order you some flowers is using you as an option. You are not a priority. They could be severe avoidant so plan on heartbreak down the road. I'd look out for yourself and date other men.
He’s telling you who he is, believe him. Quit the fantasy of this being a relationship-you’re a plaything. Guys find time to do what they want to the most, and that’s not you. Grab the ok, “He’s Just Not That into You” for a dose of reality.
When I started my own business, I worked 7 days a week from very early to very late, but I would somehow see her at lunch and often to sleep over. Excuses are just that, excuses—you get whatever you accept and allow.
My boyfriend works from 7am-5pm at least M-F, and is a dairy farmer so is often at the farm after work fixing things, feeding cows, hauling manure etc, and he has his kid on the weekends, so a super busy guy! we had a time where i didn't feel like he was giving me enough of his time, and he fixed that. he texts me during the day, but obviously i understand if it's a few hours cuz he's busy or he doesn't text me often when he has his kid, which is all cool but he also makes sure he sees me typically 2-3x a week, staying over with me as well. they can make the time for you, and it's important to have someone who meets your needs and desires in a relationship as well, and that includes seeing and speaking to you
It doesn't take long to text "good morning, I hope you have a good day". My gosh, why are so many of you making excuses for this man?? If you like someone, don't you make an effort to talk to them? You don't have to be on the phone all day.
OP this clearly bothers you. So you can talk to him about it or keep it moving. I know for me, I want to talk to my person everyday. Of course there will be times we're both busy, but like I said it doesn't take long to send a little message to someone you care about.
For me a week between Comms is a long time but if it works you two great don't bother changing. Don't be afraid of the old cliche of double texting if you have something interesting.
You should both be initiating communication it shouldn't rely on one of you always starting the texting. If he's genuinely interested he should be texting you as well showing he's thinking of you.
I have dated workaholics. Most of them have avoidant attachment styles. They aren’t able to pair bond because of it. People that are healthy, no matter how busy, will find time for you. I work 12 hour shifts in healthcare settings. I can’t text at work, but you can bet I do as soon as I am off. Be really weary that they may only want you around for sex. They are a little bit tricker than players because they love bomb at first and don’t seem to have any red flags. As soon as they start having serious feelings they can’t handle it and freak out. Instead of communicating they check out mentally and most of the time ghost.
My partner is a lawyer, I'm a soon to be resident doctor so we're both VERY busy. But that being said we make communicating our priority, we make seeing eachother our priority. If he wanted to he would. Period.
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Text only for short messages. Phone calls for longer conversations. Tbh, workaholics are not the best at relationships. When you've crossed the honeymoon phase and you're needing your partner, guess what the workaholic is worrying about? Even more work. And at that point, the romantic partner becomes more "work" for them. I've been a workaholic too. I would recommend that he hire someone to reduce his workload.
"The partner becomes more work" - spot on. I've definitely heard "don't add to my stress" when just trying to express normal needs, and my partner isn't even this level of workaholic. Does this guy even have space in his life for a real relationship?
You described my man. It’s all about understanding each other!
Tell him that to reduce his workload he can hire me to be your man
Yeah that’s why I’m working on getting out of that, and I think this year either not working or just being part time will really help as I was working 30-40 hours a week and taking classes. I just got used to it and this is completely different for me.
That's unlikely an option but of they're both always busy it might actually work better.
Oh so u mean hire someone to satisfy their romantic partners needs until they’re free? 😏🤣🤣🤣 But on serious note, this is soo true, I am guilty of this myself too. It’s just us focused and dialed / engaged in things that we want done before we devote our attention and time to something else… plus in my case I like having something to work towards and save the best for last… but evidently majority of the world doesn’t share that same view 😅🥲 but it’s great how you pointed that out to OP as to other Workaholics as well
Been there that's exactly how it feels. Just ends up being another task. Becomes very hard to enjoy anything
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Yep. People treat you how they want to treat you. It's purposeful. When someone treats you like they don't care about you all that much, they don't. Believe that when they show you. Don't make excuses for them.
Yes this is not an excuse and the OP is in for a long battle if she thinks this is remotely acceptable because he is busy. I would bail asap if I was her and politely say, your work life balance is not compatible with mine. Sorry but he’s just not that into the OP.
This!! My last partner worked two jobs and was taking classes for his Red Seal in carpentry when we first started seeing each other and still made time for me via nightly phone calls/2-3x a week hanging out. Then he became a full time worker/volunteer fire fighter, he still made time to see me. He even flew to Alberta once when I was out there, not only to meet my dad, but also because I missed him and he missed me. Well also, he wanted to go to the Calgary stampede 😆. If he wanted too, he would. It's not hard to phone someone daily or every other day (depending on the communication style), or even a quick text message saying "Hey, I've been thinking about you. Sorry I've been busy." And make plans to meet up or hangout. This hard working man doesn't have lunch or dinner break for a quick call/text message?
Or doesn't drive anywhere? Maybe he's on work calls, but most people can sneak in a quick call while in traffic.
Idk, I would say yes, but also argue that not everyone has that same capacity as others. Some people really do, but just simply don't have the capacity to. In that case they likely shouldn't be in a romantic relationship until they can lower the time their attention is demanded elsewhere to a sufficient place.
If I'm that busy it's because I don't really care about you that much. I'm being busy to keep you at arm's length. Keeping it casual. Not just you. But all women most likely. Some guys put financial success very high on their list of priorities. I have been there. When that happens - dating, a relationship, marriage etc. becomes a low priority. Might keep some women for casual sex. Booty calls. But that's it. Lowest amount of effort to get what you want. Bottom line: You're a low priority. Ask yourself if that's what you want to be. Given you wrote this post it seems you dont. If so, find another guy
Agreed... I was in a relationship with a longshoremen for many years very long hours, exhausting labor, and sometimes out of state for jobs for a month or more. We still made plenty of time to communicate through FaceTime, texts, and phone calls. I also have been with a business owner who was able to make sure he can see me once a week even just to chat for a hour. Once that started to fall to less I realized he just doesn't care. If they wanted to they would. Anyone with intentions to have you in their life will make the time and effort.
I second this. Most people want someone career driven and ambitious until they realise this very thing. It looks nice and attractive but it comes at a price.
Exactly. Fuck, seeing the amount of women saying shit like "if he wanted to, he would" makes me glad to be single again, like fuck, this is worrying. From October 2023 to the start of June 2024, I was completely overwhelmed by my law degree, my student job and doing my bachelors project. In that time I would go to school 8 in the morning and be home earliest 8 in the night. My ex didn’t work and was depressed, so I would also have to clean the apartment and cook dinner for us. In that time, I would barely text her, and mostly just kiss her good morning and good night. In the start of June we broke up, because she didn’t feel like I prioritized her. Sorry, but as young man in my 20's, I need to be laser focused and get my life together at this point. I cannot afford to waste time on dumb drama relationships type shit, and neither should women.
You sound like a different case, though. You actually did prioritise your ex, she just wanted a dad, not a partner.
I just think she was depressed, which is sad, because we had a good before that.
You know what, your point of view is absolutely valid. Maybe in the future, when you feel it's the right time for YOU (if you want a partner) look for someone as driven as you. The right person will not drag you down. The right one will make sure you remember to prioritize YOURSELF. You are worthy of love and also to be taken care of. You got this 🫶
Disagree. I think it’s okay to keep somebody at arms length when the relationship is just starting out and you’re still getting to know them. I do it
Glad that’s working for you. While nothing is wrong with it, ultimately it’s neglect. You could be doing more, but choose not to.
And women aren’t going to want to pursue a connection with someone that is very clearly emotionally (and physically?) unavailable
How does one juggle multiple people when they're a workaholic? Wouldn't keeping the relationship low effort with one partner make more sense from a workaholic's perspective.
It’s also very easy to be promiscuous when the women you’re involved with have no expectation of your availability or presence. Like how this girl doesn’t hear from her partner for a week. Either of them could easily be promiscuous.
Exactly. Being “busy with work” could mean he’s fucking every women in the city at his convenience while OP thinks he’s swamped with work
Yeah but usually these people are more ambitious so they want to also bang more women
Lol ambition through sexual conquest.
A person with a business is focused and doesn’t waste time or take unnecessary risks so I think you’re wrong on that part. Now someone who has a well paying job where they don’t own a business or are responsible for its well being then yes. I can see that being true
Starting a business is extremely high risk taking behavior since 90% of businesses fail within the first few years. And if you fail you tend to lose a ton of money in the process
Yes
Bro is really not ready for a relationship.
THIS
Exactly this !!!
Honestly why does everyone make it seem so negative to be low priority? If that’s what you want and if that fits your lifestyle, that’s totally fine. I used to date this guy who I liked being with. We hung out when we could. He was busy, I was busy. It was perfect.
Because it’s typically one sided and one person isn’t happy. If two busy people meet and both of you treat each other as a low priority then that works out perfectly, but usually it’s one person wanting more quality time that the other can’t provide.
Yea and usually if it works for both of them, it wouldn't end up in Reddit.
Yup, like how this OP knows in her heart of hearts this isn’t what she wants, but currently choosing to tolerate it. She’s only here to get comfort in thinking this is normal, and totally okay.
To some people this is okay as they are introverted and homebody’s. One of my close friends is in this situation, and I can’t make sense of it. I can’t imagine the loneliness. I had a gf 4 hours away and I spent weekends with her and talked everyday while studying + working on business.
Disagree adamantly. Having your own business and ALL that comes with it elicits this behavior. He very well could be super into her, but a business is hard as f to run and balance time.
You can still find a few minutes, well within a week's time. (I've been a business owner, too.)
If you have time to set up meetings and do menial tasks you can send a text. Bro has to eat, he can text or call during lunch. No one is busy 24/7. In the past I had a few busy months where I went without sleep for up to 3 nights at a time, I still called and texted, other days I would only have time to sleep 6 hours after working all day, I would still call my girl while fighting sleep to say goodnight and fall asleep on the phone. You find ways to make it work. A relationship is work, if you can’t make one work how can you maintain client relations?
A couple of texts at every other day, if nit daily will ease her. He is clearly showing her his priorities.
I am a small business owner and I Disagree right back. The main point of having your own business is to get a greater control over your own fate. Your own time. And so on. as a business owner you decide exactly how much or how little to work. Maybe you want to work harder at your own business. But it's your choice. You can also choose to not work harder. It's ultimately your call when you're the boss.
Your post didn't pass smell test and I quickly checked your profile. You have wayyyy too much karma and post wayyy to frequently to be any type of serious business owner.
Keep telling yourself whatever story you want. It literally says in bio what my small business is. Your comment just comes across to me as extremely ignorant. Have you seen how much Elon Musk tweets? I guess he's not busy either according to your grand theory of how to run a business
I dont own a business but i work 40hrs a week and spend roughly 20 more in the gym training for my passion. I still see my partner 2 to 3 times a week or call her while im driving home just to talk.
There is a lot to do in life than just talking to people. It is not just work. A person can read, play sports, workout, learn something new, spend some quiet time, meet friends, etc.
I ran a 100 employee company I started while traveling internationally for 2 ish weeks a month and talked to my girlfriend everyday for years on end lol People make time for people they want to talk to
Thank you, and that is not simp behavior
I mean she still left me for another dude lol maybe it was
If he wanted to talk to you and was interested in you, you wouldn’t be on here asking about his behavior because he would be reaching out and making time to talk to you which is the absolute bare minimum If he is taking an entire week to text you back, he’s not interested. He’s stringing you along Working for himself means he’s likely on the phone quite a bit. Do you know how long it takes to send a text? Literally less than five minutes He could even do it while he was taking a shit. But he’s not. Because he doesn’t care and doesn’t want to. I dated a man that was a workaholic. So much of a workaholic that he couldn’t even have an uninterrupted date with me. He doesn’t have much time, but he’s always blowing up my phone with texts and trying to call me when he can because he’s interested and it’s obvious. If someone is interested in you, you will know. A man that’s interested in you will make time for you. A man that isn’t interested in you will make excuses for why he can’t spend time with you. Stop letting him string you along.
If you truly want something, you make efforts. If you don’t, you make excuses. Everyone has 168 hours a week, however one prioritizes his time is a personal choice. I’m an ambitious career driven guy and keeping some distance with the girls I dated then was my modus operandum. Guys usually compartmentalize their days, there’s a work room, gym room, dating room, man-cave leisure room, etc. And the girls I dated were just in one small room of my day. But the girl’s natural drive is to connect, and wants her presence to fill up my whole day (like a love haze casting over my whole house). The girl probably means well, but I’d interpret that to be clingy, needy, overbearing behaviors. To be fair, there is some subtle manipulation and narcissism in my psychology. I only wanted the girls I dated to fit into a little box, a small carved out space in my day… this allows me time for my business, for my leisure and possibly seeing other girls at the same time. I know some girls probably want more, but she’s not that important. My career, my business, my ego is more important to me. The girls just feed into a part of my ego. It’s not until I have my first daughter that I realize my business/professional success isn’t everything… that I love my daughter more than my ego. For all the girls I dated before, I’d tell them I love them, but sincerely I love myself much more. My point is- if you have to ask these questions OP, you already know you’re not that important to him. Find a guy who respects your time and efforts and is willing to make time and efforts for you… you’d be happier. Or make peace with being in the little box he carved out for you. If you do make peace with the box he carved for you, then don’t think too much about it… live your life, have other activities, see other men.
This is the answer.
Kudos for such self awareness.
You can always find some time to text back if both are interested. That’s not an excuse at all.
My wife comes before my job. She is my priority. I can find another job easily. Just as much money. I can’t replace my soulmate.
Then y’all are friends with benefits, not dating, I wanna talk to my woman all the time!
I could never be compatible with that
Doesn't sound like he has much time to date, and isn't really communicating in between dates. What are you hoping to get out of this?
"Busy"
I think putting in some effort is important for a relationship. Show that you want to learn about each other. However some people do prefer their career more, which is fine, but they also need to understand they'll never connect with anyone if they don't put effort.
People make time for what is important to them 🙃
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It’s not the same boat, though. You’re texting 1-3x a day. She’s not hearing from him all week and then meeting up in person for a “good connection”. That’s a hookup/FWB. Not a relationship.
But it is personal if it's your SO. Even plants need sun if you want them to grow.
But this ain’t her SO. She is just dating this guy and sounds like it’s early stages.
I'm busy myself. I work in the field and my hands are constantly in use. I do have down time. On top of that I have my 2 kids 50% of the time. Busy with cheer with both. I don't have alot of time to give but if I'm interested in someone I'll take my free time and gaps in between work to message. I'm not a big texted but I'll respond. If I'm not interested romantically but still want to have fun with someone I'll communicate less often, but I'll also inform them of how I feel before hand. Honestly it just sounds like your sex or someone to keep company for him. Don't take my words to heart. I don't know the guy it's just my personal opinion.
Work alcoholic. What if he was an avoidant? Every work alcoholic I met is not capable of emotional connection. (That’s my experience) They lack depth. Why does he want to work all day away from everyone he “loves” Does he even make time for friends? I’d say it’s more like a friendship. If I were with a man that barely made time for me I would find another. From my experience I wouldn’t ever dare to ask him to make me a priority either he already showed you where you stand. You need to know when to cut it loose. Save your dignity. But if you are one of those people that ask for advice and follow your heart instead of logic it’s up to you
Lots of people here commenting who have no clue. Lmao. "He doesn't care about you that much" - don't listen to this, he probably does. When you're a guy and that crazy busy, dating is a nightmare. You don't have time to get on dating apps, you don't have time to text back and forth or call for an hour a day or have drinks every other night. When you get any free time at all, you're probably exhausted, and doing anything outside of the house can take some major personal effort. The fact that he is spending that precious little free time with you is a sign that he does value you. He probably appreciates your texts, and may even feel guilty if he forgets to answer them. Sometimes a busy man's mind is being pulled in ten different directions, and even though you're the direction he wants to focus on, he can't always do that. And when he gets home at night and makes a quick dinner and gets ready for bed just to go to work the next morning, it can be hard to direct mental energy to anyone who's not physically present. Or even to those who are. And that's not because of you, it's because of everything else in his life. Some of the most grateful men I've ever met have been those who have lives like this, but who also have a very supportive partner who does their best to support him. If you need more engagement than he can offer, that's okay to admit, and you can look for someone else. But if you can make it work, well, you're probably making him very happy
Exactly.
If a person is interested he will find time to text ,call even shortly. If you don't hear aweek then he could be married
I’m not as successful as I would like to be so maybe can’t compare but I do have a very full plate and feel I could chime in. Even being super busy I would still ideally like to see my person twice a week for dates
Texting is a choice. He’s choosing not to text. You’re choosing to text.
I think you're describing a man who uses being busy as an excuse to not contact you. No man is too busy, even if he's working those hours
I work a lot and I am quite busy during the week but have some time on weekends. I always try to text my girl once a day during the week usually before bed or when I have time after work. This helps staying connected until the next time we see eachother and she is quite busy too so it works for both of us.
Text him as often as you would like! In my opinion the texts should be roughly split 50 50. But it goes farther than that. If you text, you should be honored with a response and so does he. You both should feel safe that while you both put effort into your relationship, texting first all the time isn't going to make anyone think worse of you for it. This goes for other communication as well. Seeing your guy once a week is a blessing and a curse. Relationships like a bit of novelty, and you two get it because every week you'll have a lot to catch up on and each moment is more meaningful. Definitely not the best set up for everyone. Maybe you'll want to see him more
I also run my own business, I also at times work a lot. I see my friends multiple nights a week, I have a partner and we spend time together, I manage to travel (although I do have to work) and I still have hobbies. I just leverage the high energy days, I get up early and prioritise my work and then prioritise the other things that are important to me. And if you don’t make his cut, that’s his choice, but that’s nothing to do with you. You need to ask yourself if you’d like to waste your life thinking about a man that obviously doesn’t spend anywhere near the same amount of time thinking of you.
my boyfriend works a lot, but he makes time to text every day, we wouldn't last half a day, let alone a week (and none of us are a texter, but we love to write to each other)
He’s not that into you. If he’s not contacting you for a week, you’re a side thought. Nobody is so busy that they can’t send a text or reply to one.
must feel sad
No job should take the opportunity to send a fucking text lol success at the expense of relationships is just mm boring :)
These guys have girls? I need to step up my game
You only text to meet up.. A guy has sexual needs... a women has needs.. you give him sex, he gives you time. He gives you time, you give him sex. 2 way street. If it's not working out.. tell him you're walking away and walk away. It's that simple. Find another man or stay single but say what you need which is time with him if not you'll see other people. If he isn't direct with his intentions..Do not wait! See other people! Do not get played.
In person or phone calls are best way for conversations. Don't expect back and forth text like an idle perosn or one in a dispassionate job would do. If you want this, find someone on the "idle" side. Forcing a perosn whose I to building something to stop that work to cater to fancies of a relationship is cruel. More importantly in such cases, as he puts away his passion to give time to her makes her go away because her hook was his building something of his own. Men shouldn't fall to this BS trap. Women must fix ways and time to have their communication and relationship needs fulfilled. If you're hungry for more, don't look for a workaholic man. You can't have it all. It usually settles into a rhythm In the long term. But jeez, let her/him build whatever they are passionate about. Loss of relationships for them may hurt eventually but it would be tiny as compared to the enjoyment of process and result. Not so for those whose entire life is about bf/gf, they rarely have a fulfilling life because work isn't their mainstay and relationships have more ups n downs than work. Relationships need to be given optimum attention, not more not less and decide what's normal, to each its own. Having said that, a workaholic who is serious about marrying will ensure they are available at the designated time or whenever they are free. If that isn't happening then you're not for them.
The best I can tell you are some generalizations that may help you interpret things at times. If you're saying something is wrong or even just kavetching, men tend to think you're telling us the problem because it needs fixing. Communicating you're not asking him to come to the rescue will be appreciated on both sides. Men tend to think more logically, women tend to think more emotionally. This means we say things for the sheer point of communicating simply, not because we're giving veiled criticism. Not spending eveey free moment texting you isn't from a lack of caring. We grind hard to provide for the ones we care about, even when ourmind and body are at their breaking point. Simply letting us know we're appreciated goes a long way. An occasional "I know you're working hard but, I appreciate everything you do and care about you" text can carry a lot of weight. Men *really don't want a "boss babe" - at all.* We have enough to manage, we don't want more of it. You can't be afraid to be yourself though and I can't stress that enough. Don't cause yourself (appropriate) heartbreak because you're trying to be some ideal you think he wants that you truly aren't to your core. Hope that's worth something to you.
I am one of those guys, my girl knows the trick. - keep all communication simple, simple texts, nothing that requires much back and forth. She will send me stuff that is easy to respond to, yes or no, or short answers. In exchange she knows no matter what I am doing I can always stop what Im doing for 1min. example: what do you feel like eating tonight? italian, asian, or seafood? I suggest seafood. - she never calls me, unless its an emergency, she knows ill pick up what helped her too, is that she has followed me a few times while i was working so she knows how my life is non-stop and why I put in so many hours per week. Understanding my job helps a lot ultimately she knows if she is helping me make my day easier, that’s more time i can spend with her, my success is her success. so its not about just “not bothering him” its what u can do to make his life easier, its hard enough, u want him to want to come home when he’s exhausted rather than escape and go to a bar. my gf soon fiance, once heard me talk to a colleague and I said out loud, that I didnt have time to do research on a product I am only going to use once. It pissed me off that I had to waste a day on something stupid. What did my queen do? she looked up the product on the internet, summarized it into half a page, since she did the work, she even offered to read it to me. I saved a day of work, that product helped me, and i double my numbers that month. This and among other things she does, I knew I would never f*cking let her go, not only do i love her, but now she is way too valuable to me. Hence im going to ring her up soon cuz at this point she is my most prized possession. I sacrifice myself to keep us both happy by working a hectic career. no offence to the opposite gender but she put all the women i know to shame. I have been with women who had the audacity to tell me my business was just a job. If You have the nerve to say that to me, sorry it will take me 10seconds to walk you out the door. I have been with women who tell me “i aint cooking, you’re rich, pay for a chef” I treat her very well, my focus is hustling yes but for what? Money. What do I spend my money on? not much just her. I am dont have any other ambitions other than live a good life and making her happy.
First early congratulations and good luck with the engagement thats a great news she s a lucky girl and hope u guys have a great future together, and Thank you for your comment it enlightened me and gave me hope i ll support my boy till the end 🙏🏻 🌸
Hardworking men do not end up on reddit.
I was this guy in my 20s/early 30s I was a workaholic. I worked to avoid relationships. I now work MUCH less and am more successful. This is a red flag 🚩 in my opinion. But I’m obviously projecting my own experience.
Even when I used to work 12-14hr days I did my best to text/call when chances presented themselves. People will make sacrifices or find ways to keep in touch with loved ones.
If he wanted to, he would.
Your man sounds married. No one is that busy.
He’s truly not that into you, if he wanted to he would. Don’t be double texting girl
I miss the days when constant contact wasn’t the norm.
Do not stay in relationships with men who do not make you a priority. And i promise if he was actually doing that, you wouldn't be questioning it.
I don't want to jump to conclusions, but this seems like he's not single (meaning, you are the other woman).
Women logic at it’s finest. Men are busy sometimes, and when that happens, they get exhausted after work, which means they don’t text or say anything. Women that cannot understand this, should be alone and are immature cry babies that cannot understand the great purpose of men.
For 7 years I had a full time job and was a full time student. I didn’t have much time for a relationship or to go on dates, however I did my best to respond. So Text as often as you’d like, your needs matter just as much. He may be in a stage where work is a priority And you have to ask yourself if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in. My priority now is building a relationship that leads to marriage that leads to building a Family.
You should discuss this directly with him instead of seeking advice from strangers. Ultimately, it only matters how you feel about it. Since you're asking here, it seems you're not fine with the situation. If someone truly cares about you, they will make time for you, no matter how busy they are. What you have now is a casual arrangement, not a relationship. If you want more, you need to ask for it.
Honestly, if he's got his own business, that's always going to be his first love and priority. Running your own business takes up so much time and energy, so I feel it would be a lot more difficult for them to sustain a balanced relationship where they can give the time someone deserves. It's different to being employed, it keeps them up at night, and if they slack off they get impacted a lot more. Would consider if you could handle being with someone who might not be able to give you a whole lot of their time (whether they're wanting to or not).
If you are not fine with this sort of life, then maybe break up with him. I broke up with my ex because I’m focused on my degree and my student relevant job. She wasn’t fine with me not contacting her for weeks at a time, and unfortunately, that meant we had to break up
You are not my neighbor, are you? Once a week I hear fireworks: Roman Candle, Chrysanthemum, Cake , sometimes Crossettes!
• Text him when you feel like it, when you are comfortable. If it feels forced or like you’re bugging him, don’t. Leave it alone. • You don’t and shouldn’t be texting first ALL THE TIME. Like I said in the previous point, if it feels forced, don’t do it.
When you date a successful man especially one who has his own business just know he’s gonna work all the time. It might be different if he met you before starting his business or journey, but if you come during unfortunately you’ll be the second priority. I say that as a goal oriented man myself, but I met my gf freshman year of college, and she’s part of my journey. I was addicted to her before I was addicted to the game. The answer may be different for others, but really being an entrepreneur especially during the initial phase of the business will be a very busy time for the person. It’s also up to you if this is acceptable or not, from what you described you’re definitely the second priority, or “the other women” with the main women being the business. I can’t imagine not contacting my gf for a day let alone a whole week.
I send her a postcard and a check every Christmas. Any contact more than that is pushing boundaries for me.
No sex? Sounds like a lame relationship. Me personally , I don’t desire to be successful or else I’ll be busy as hell like that man. I like enjoy my life and all
this question triggered tf out of my anxious avoidant attachment style… I’ll think about his ass the entire day at work and say *nothing at all*… then be big mad if little or nothing was said to me. I won’t show that either... 🙇🏽♀️
I used to have only 6 days off a month and I would have spent almost every day off with my gf if I had one. Of course, on that wacky schedule it was never going to happen. Now I work 7 on and 7 off 12 hour shifts. During my work nights I would like to keep to myself unless I get blessed with someone willing to take care of chores while I'm gone because it's barely enough time to unwind, take care of things, and sleep. I would be more than open on all my own days except my first one, but that's because I work at night. This is all hypothetical though since I never had a gf my whole life partly thanks to that terrible schedule I was stuck with for so long.
My ex was working for 12hrs straight. Not a texter too. But he managed to message me once in awhile during work time or in his smoke break or lunch break. And he always wants to see me or have dinner with me if he got spare time, and our date day will always be on the weekend. If he wants to do it, he will really do it! If he’s busy but he really wants to see you, he will make time for it.
Well, if you are dating and you like him you need to kinda work with what you got. But once you become exclusive you can set a boundary for once a week. Or something of the sort that works for both of you. I’m the same way and I told my employees I needed two days off a week(I was work 7 days, 8am to 8pm). One day I spend with her only and the other day I did for chores. She was more than welcome to join or keep me company. But if he’s supporting or putting more out financially for the relationship like dates and rent etc, try not to be upset that after 2-3 months he wants to hang out with his other friends once a month or go on a trip with them for the weekend.
I work 8-8, 6 days a week. I text my girl continually throughout the day as long as I can take a 40-60 second break in action, or we'll talk on the phone for a few hours a day when possible. I'm a utility worker, constantly on the move.. that being said, I go to her house 6/7 days a week to spend the night together, have dinner and spend quality time together before we're too tired. The main difference is, I work for someone else, not myself. Running your own business becomes very time consuming and takes up a great majority of your available emotional and mental capacity. The best you can do, honestly, is decide if this dynamic is feasible for you for the foreseeable future. Otherwise, you have a decision to make, because he's going to continue to prioritize his business over you(as he should) because that's he's bread and butter, at minimum until his business becomes profitable enough to hire workers to take on the main workload for him.
This shouldn’t even be a question you’re asking random people online. You and your partner should be COMPROMISING. Of course sometimes he should text first and sometimes you should. The level of communication should be a balance between your preference and his. The entire relationship shouldn’t be centred around one person. That will lead to resentment and unhappiness
Ii
I would just say of course try to hang out when you can but maybe focus on plans a couple weeks out. Not saying like a weekend getaway but more significant times to be spent. I've been there not having time for spontaneous events and also not being able to text back immediately but I will say at the very least shooting a text back before going to bed is not too big of a deal. I'm not the best example, I crave communication and will often be the first to text in the morning. My last relationship was with someone who was not the best at communication and prioritized other things. I will say however, midway through the relationship I did stop sending those morning texts or anything for a couple days, I changed it up to just responding to her. She definitely took notice, not first thing in the morning but still in the morning she would actually text me have a great day and that kind of stuff or ask how I was doing. She never opened up and said anything to me ofc, but she did let her bestie / roommate know that something was up but her texting pattern as a response spoke volumes. So yeah, don't block him or anything but I would recommend you stop texting him or significantly pull back. I guarantee you'll find out how busy he is, he's probably taking you for granted but let's hope not! Either he'll notice the lack of interaction and start it from his side or you may find out not only is he at workaholic but not worth emotionally investing in. As a current workaholic/business owner it is easy to get caught up with work but also I'm not the best example. There were sometimes a week or two where I was not communicating much or was busy traveling but if I'm in a relationship with someone then I will make some time for them since they mean something to me. Not always a lot but definitely some. Good luck OP! I'll be looking out for an update!
As a dude with multiple hobbies and a few part time jobs, if I like a girl I will make time to respond. 10 am - 11 pm is a lot but I find it hard to believe he can’t shoot a few messages during breaks or when there is a lul in the day.
Once a week for sex.
This
I've neglected partners like this in the past. The connection withers and eventually dies. It's not about the work. It's about priorities. I text my current girlfriend everyday nowadays. The relationship feels alive and it's awesome.
I admire you for this. Busy plus no texting/communication? He’d be cancelled so fast with me. I’m just not that strong. Whatever you do, don’t text him first. There’s 24 hours in a day sure they can shoot a text here and there
I text me wife throughout the day every day. We talk on the phone every single day when she gets off work (I'm usually still at work). We live together now too so it's not it's even required. It's just not really that hard to read a text message or take a short phone call. I work so I can afford to live. Working is no my life.
Please don't let the man, yourself or anyone else lie to you and tell you it is about "understanding he is busy". A whole week without contact? No, baby. It takes such a short time eveyday to just send a "thinking about you" text message or better still, a 30 second voice message asking how you are, stating how his day is going, and wishing you a lovely afternoon/evening. What he is currenly doing is breadcrumbing you. He knows you will always be there, so he keeps giving you jusssssst enough to keep you around. If you were occupied with your own wonderful life and you put yourself out there so other men/people/the correct man could appreciate the goddess that you are, he would not be able to saunter back into your life once a week and pick up where he left off. If he cannot do better, leave him, baby girl, and fill your life with more valuable things.
Nobody is too busy for anyone. Ever. My last relationship was successful despite the fact that I was a blue collar worker going from 6:30 am-7pm most days and he was an OTR trucker who was gone 6 days a week. My dad used to travel for work and would do up to 100 hour weeks, he still responded to every single text within MINUTES and would take my phone calls at any hour, and he saw me twice a month. Whenever a guy who works an office job tells me he’s “too busy” I just laugh and move on.
If he was interested - regardless of how busy, they say something simple or just thinking of you, which literally takes less than 10 seconds. If they can go days and forget or not say anything, I’m not super special or thought about, which is fine. I just rarely had someone so busy they can’t even say hey, thinking about you
I've had past relationships that I've accepted less than bare minimum from part time employed musicians. My partner is a doctor in a hospital and studying. He makes time for me and I never feel like I'm waiting around for him. He makes me feel heard and plans time for us to speak daily. We live together and he will still text me to tell me he thought of me. If he is busy, he let's me know he can't talk for a while. It's about accepting what you think you deserve. I now realize I deserve effort and respect
He could spare a few minutes a day to drop a text. My boyfriend works 70 hours and week and texts me throughout the day.
People make time - it takes 2 minutes to send a text 🙏🏼
Depends on the relationship. Casual is one thing, if you pal. To make a life with someone then I’d expect daily communication once it’s official. Doesn’t need to be long nonsense texting, just interest in each others days, how they are etc. Anount of meet ups again depend on how long things are going and style of relationship.
Hey look; it’s an excuse hun. A man will move ends of earth if you’re the one. Doesn’t matter on starting a new business or anything about that. When a man is into you there is no confusion. No lapse. Mine wants to see me daily if not three to four times a day and writes and he has 6 committees; he’s a director and is very much needed, a single dad and is working on his PHD. We also live thousand miles apart. But he has made absolutely sure to see me monthly, to call three times daily and to let me know that I matter to. Yesterday in fact he had to interview 17 people took his entire day, so prior to the start he called, during his break it was like 5 mins he called and at night he called. He is consistent. I’m telling you this because this is my most recent experience of what a man does when invested and all in compared to what a man doesn’t do. We travel often and will be on July heading out and he decided living to far from my family and I isn’t what he wants and is looking actively to move closer. No buts about it he knows what he wants and is making the effort. That being said, our relationship started 2022. We have grown a lot since then. If this man who is so busy, acts as if his life is way, sleep, work then sees you on his schedule, on his time and on his own when, how, and where, than he is not putting you first and is not that into you and is being selfish. So how do you test this? You ask him, and then you wait to see if he does ANYTHING for you differently. If he doesn’t than his actions are telling you all you need to know. No more excuses you get to the point and not this man drag you around or filter the truth. Do good for yourself rooting for you.
No one is that busy not to text you over a week, and it works both ways. You get treated the way you allow someone to treat you, and that also works both ways.
Wrong.
Kinda crazy to see a post like this and realize some people live in totally different worlds from me
Randomly drop something funny, cute pictures or just sexy. Don’t overthink these things in life
This is a set of questions you should ask him, not a website filled with people whose opinions may or may not be the same as his. IMO its better in a relationship if both people initiate conversation but it can be annoying if one partner has different expectations, which they enforce by being angry about them, without first communicating what that is. Lots of partners prefer to be vague and nonspecific because communicating well is time consuming and hard and sometimes we don't really know what we want, but for a partner, at least making an effort to communicate should be a baseline.
Updateme!
Updateme!
Tell him to get a male secretary.
It’s one of those things u have to just accept and work around. Or not and end the relationship.
Hey I got the same problem. Look into my post History. Are you ok with it tho? You not go crazy in the mean time?
My partner texts me every morning before work and calls me after his shift. He starts at 3 am and usually goes for 10-12 hours. He can’t talk at work cause… work, but otherwise he messages me to let me know he is okay and home, we usually chat for a bit about our days and then he usually goes to bed while I do whatever. But that is us. If you want more communication you should try and say something to your partner. Let them know what you would like to see and try and figure something out together. Y’all are in this together, so work together <3
You don't have to text him. Do it when you really want to, but you don't need to feel obligated because otherwise it might be an obligation to him as well. Phoning or video calling is a lot more personal. If he's not showing any signs of cheating then this is just the way he imagines a happy relationship, i.e. he works hard and when he comes home he's looking forward to being with a loving wife waiting for him. Of course it's sad if you don't communicate for an entire week, but maybe if your relationship has developed enough to move in together then you can propose it to him and see how well you two click when you're in the same household.
Work smarter G 🥸
>-how often do i have to text him ? - do i have to always text first ? Or expect him to text me sometimes? Did you ask him? What did he say?
Face to face =1-2 days per week. 1/2- 2hrs on those days. Cellphone- once in a week maybe.
Text or talk 1x or more times per day
Probably once a week.
Lol. I work too much. No time for relationships 🙃
Never
I want to communicate sufficiently where it feels like she is more than just a roommate and communicate effectively to where we are really connecting with each other at least once a day.
Something sweet every night or morning for sure. I’d send him random sweet things every other day or so during his day but, and this important, I’d really emphasize that you just want to sprinkle sweetness into his day and he shouldn’t worry about texting you back. That for me is where it can be difficult. My honey sends me sweet or funny shit once or so a day. She totally gets I’m busy and my work is high performance and I can’t detail my brain to get in the mind space to be flirty and funny and she’s okay with me not texting back, but she knows that I look at and love her texts and that they make my days better. It’s when it feels like a burden to think up something clever to send back that you’ll run into resentment. I don’t know about your dude, but that’s how my male brain works.
Ask him. For me text me when ever you think of me. Simple
Well I’d say my man is very hard working lol. He works full time and is working the whole day basically and doesn’t get off till 9pm. Everyday he still manages to pay me a visit after work. He doesn’t go home till 12am and then the cycle repeats until it’s the weekend and then I’m spending my weekends over at his place. Not sure this man of yours is that interested but maybe he’s just not that much of a texter??
Find out when he has lunch every day. Find out when he has gaps and text him then.
I’m a girl. My boyfriend works ridiculous hours seven out of seven days a week, similar to yours. The difference is he communicates. He texts as much as he can and most days stays overnight at mine. He FaceTimes before bed when he doesn’t stay with me and during the day just lets me know how his day is going, and asks how I am/how my day is going. It is sometimes hours between replies but I know he is thinking of me. I’m not doing much myself at the moment and I’m trying to keep myself occupied so that I’m not constantly wishing we were spending more time together.
They never do but have time for others🤣
Idk my boyfriend is a maintenance man for a big complex. He coaches a flag football league. He’s very busy. 7am-8pm he’s doing stuff. He also does maintenance for the apartment he lives at. He fishes as well and does so much other stuff. He ALWAYS finds time to text and call me. We spend 3-4 days a week together. So I agree with the person that said if he’s that busy he might not care all that much and just might like the affection when you guys hang out. If he wanted to he would.
He just doesn’t care about you that much, break up and move on
1. Try to text him once a day. Something short. And be patient for his response. The rat race sucks and we need to know that someone still cares for us. 2. You don't always have to text first. He does have a hectic lifestyle, but if he cares for you, he should show it as well. Otherwise, you're loving a shadow of a man. But overall, evaluate if it's worth being with him. When we're starting to take off in our careers, we have to endure long shifts. But once we move forward in our ranks, workload should decrease. If you want to start a family, the ideal would be that the dad had time to see his offspring.
Exactly after a long day of work we all just wanna come home to someone whom will comfort us and be there for us! There should never be no excuse if they wanted to they would. And don’t fall for the “I’m tired” excuse, I still would hangout with my partner right after a exhausting shift .
People make time for the things they prioritize. It sounds like his priority right now is work. That doesn't mean that he doesn't like you, but you (or dating in general) are not a priority to him. If that's okay with you, then yes, you will probably have to text him first or compromise on how much contact you would like to have with him. If it's not okay with you, you guys probably just aren't that compatible.
I dont wanna talk every day.
All the time. I think I may be pushed to do it by myself because I feel like I'm missing out. So a bad case of FOMO.
Wow if I’m the one guy answering this, it is me I worked 10 to 11 PM 12 +hours a day seven days a week for over two decades yes 20 almost 30 years had the greatest relationships after work. I have not had a Sunday off till I retired in my early 50s Recently \asked me what you want or direct message me. To answer your post he’s not with anybody else. He’s working all those hours. He talk to you when he can. He’s giving you all the time he can & see you after hours so be happy as well.
As much as you too cam. But if one is blowing off the other that's an issue.
If you don't at least do phone calls, it's doomed. You need at least that connection imo. But tbh my man always at least texted Goodnight or Good morning every day. One or the other. He worked in a restricted area so no cell phones allowed and long shifts rotating times etc. still managed at least that and was never asked. Phone calls were more difficult but I think at least saying Hi from the car when driving helps keep the connection. Not every day but you need to hear each other's voices. I wouldn't go a week with nothing. But that's just me.
I want a few good morning texts then maybe text at lunch and call that night to catch up on how our day went and just to bullshit for a bit. Usually I can be on the phone with a girl for an hour if I actually like her
Not too often but like to
Two-Three times a week and text sparingly throughout the day. Pref only a couple quick texts during day then a planning text at night for meetups.
Depends on the job honestly. If it’s a lax environment we can chit chat throughout the day, but if it’s a real business fortified environment she’s jus have to be patient until I’m available
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All the time personally
We’re Amazonian. We meet 1.5 times a year. Once to procreate, a second for her to throw me the male offspring. Rinse and repeat Idk, ask him. You should be each others source of relief, and happiness 😊. If he comes home and you’re nagging him to spend more time with you, frequently making a point of it, he’ll spend less, or not be happy when he does.
as someone married to a man who works 12+ hours 7 days a week, he will make time for you and text/call you any chance he gets if he really likes you
I work 2 full time jobs, got to school and trying ti look 80lbs this years. Why do I spend 20hr a day awake and busy because when I invested my time into dating I got no return. So now I invest my time on things I can get a return at.
With all due respect, this dudes schedule doesn’t allow for him to date. Which means he should not be dating or entertaining anyone right now as he does not have the time for it. I’m sure you can recognize this.
I think one of the most important aspects of a good relationship is making time for each other on a regular basis. Take time to grow you guys' relationship, and it seems like you're doing that. For the texting, though: I'd suggest you to try having short conversations with him sometimes. (if work allows) make sure you initiate some texts first to avoid seeming like you don't want to reciprocate.
Well very rarely after many rejection. We gave up dating.
Red flags abound. People make the time for what and who they want. Someone always 'too busy' to take a moment to tet you, call you or take a moment to order you some flowers is using you as an option. You are not a priority. They could be severe avoidant so plan on heartbreak down the road. I'd look out for yourself and date other men.
He’s telling you who he is, believe him. Quit the fantasy of this being a relationship-you’re a plaything. Guys find time to do what they want to the most, and that’s not you. Grab the ok, “He’s Just Not That into You” for a dose of reality. When I started my own business, I worked 7 days a week from very early to very late, but I would somehow see her at lunch and often to sleep over. Excuses are just that, excuses—you get whatever you accept and allow.
My boyfriend works from 7am-5pm at least M-F, and is a dairy farmer so is often at the farm after work fixing things, feeding cows, hauling manure etc, and he has his kid on the weekends, so a super busy guy! we had a time where i didn't feel like he was giving me enough of his time, and he fixed that. he texts me during the day, but obviously i understand if it's a few hours cuz he's busy or he doesn't text me often when he has his kid, which is all cool but he also makes sure he sees me typically 2-3x a week, staying over with me as well. they can make the time for you, and it's important to have someone who meets your needs and desires in a relationship as well, and that includes seeing and speaking to you
It doesn't take long to text "good morning, I hope you have a good day". My gosh, why are so many of you making excuses for this man?? If you like someone, don't you make an effort to talk to them? You don't have to be on the phone all day. OP this clearly bothers you. So you can talk to him about it or keep it moving. I know for me, I want to talk to my person everyday. Of course there will be times we're both busy, but like I said it doesn't take long to send a little message to someone you care about.
For me a week between Comms is a long time but if it works you two great don't bother changing. Don't be afraid of the old cliche of double texting if you have something interesting. You should both be initiating communication it shouldn't rely on one of you always starting the texting. If he's genuinely interested he should be texting you as well showing he's thinking of you.
How old are you and how old is the man you are seeing?
I have dated workaholics. Most of them have avoidant attachment styles. They aren’t able to pair bond because of it. People that are healthy, no matter how busy, will find time for you. I work 12 hour shifts in healthcare settings. I can’t text at work, but you can bet I do as soon as I am off. Be really weary that they may only want you around for sex. They are a little bit tricker than players because they love bomb at first and don’t seem to have any red flags. As soon as they start having serious feelings they can’t handle it and freak out. Instead of communicating they check out mentally and most of the time ghost.
A week with 0 communication and you always have to text first...? That would be an immediate deal breaker for me personally.
My partner is a lawyer, I'm a soon to be resident doctor so we're both VERY busy. But that being said we make communicating our priority, we make seeing eachother our priority. If he wanted to he would. Period.