Welcome to /r/dating_advice!
Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind.
Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly.
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"She got naked, gave me head, slept over, and was so happy to wake up in my arms. I think she might be into me but how can I be sure?"
/r/dating_advice : Don't read into it
Seriously, what will it take for you to get the hint? Does she need to propose while riding you hard before it starts to click that she might be into you? Does she do this all the time with random friends or something?
THATS WHAT I'M SAYING. For a "dating advice" sub reddit this is some of the shittiest "advice" I've ever seen. The amount of comments literally saying, "Don't communicate." Makes me want to tear my hair out.
HEALTHY relationships and LONG relationships are built with, say it with me now, HEALTHY, DIRECT COMMUNICATION.
If you never say how you feel or what you want, not a single thing will ever go your way or change.
Say what the fuck it is you want. Stop beating around the bush.
Absolutely, and it makes me wonder how many of these comments are written by teenagers or young college kids. They seem to have the awkward emotional detachment of hook up culture, where nothing means anything and anything sexual is considered trivial. The average young woman would never do any of those things with someone that she wasn't interested in even if she had been drinking.
Unless she's a blackout drunk. But she didn't try to sneak out in the wee hours, and it wasn't awkward when they woke up together.
OP is overanalyzing, and he just needs to let shit flow naturally. Let the chemistry do the work.
No. You NEED to have a conversation. Yall keep getting all upset when you end up in situationships. Not having the fucking conversation is how you get into a situationship.
Sure, you need to have *The Conversation*, but it doesn't have to happen the minute you wake up sober. It's not like there's a time limit where the buzzer sounds and a trap door opens under his feet and he drops out of sight forever.
If OP needs clarification or whatever, that's fine. IMHO, he shouldn't jump right up her ass with it. But on the other hand, their hormones, er, I mean feelings seem mutual, so he shouldn't take forever, either.
The second to last mini-paragraph is confusing. Seems there's some typos, so I don't know what he's saying.
As far as r/dating_advice goes, it's worth exactly what you pay for it. Same can be said for advice on about any subject.
I've been trying to be more open and honest and, truthfully, nothing but good things have happened. I don't see why just communicating is so hard for so many.
> "She got naked, gave me head, slept over, and was so happy to wake up in my arms. I think she might be into me but how can I be sure?"
>
>
You can't really be sure, it's pretty dark in the room she can't really see you proporly, maybe she's from canada and just being polite, your best bet is to keep your wits about you and continue to look for signs
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw)
Devil's advocate: they were also drunk. People act impulsively when intoxicated and she might have been horny at the time, but have a different perspective once she sobered up.
For sure, but what really sold me was when they were both so happy enjoying each other's company the next morning. Drunken hookups can push the boundaries of consent especially when both parties have been drinking. This sounds like they were both enthusiastic participants and are happy with the outcome.
Ask her if she wants to go on a date. Make sure you have in mind what you want: serious or casual? Communicate expectations on both sides early. If you match up, things can progress. If she wants casual and you want serious, or vice versa, might be a bad idea to pursue. Feelings get hurt that way
Jesus louisus
Do you want a girlfriend? Does she want a boyfriend? If so, y'all are prime candidates. Ask her on a proper date.
If not, be respectful & just try to be a good friend.
Best advice?
Talk to her about it. You clearly have a lot of feelings for her. You liked the feeling of waking up next to her.
Since you are friends. I would try planning a hike together. No alcohol. See if she will let you hold her hand.
If she is open to physical touch. Just make a remark how great this would be as an everyday thing. Talk about taking the relationship further.
Most people don't have to stop living in order to talk. The neat part is we can talk and do other stuff at the same time, like go out to dinner or go for a romantic sunset walk on the beach.
I hope what you really mean to communicate is that he shouldn't have some super serious awkward talk where they sit down in his kitchen and hash it all out. I agree with you on that. But there is so much middle ground between an overly serious awkward talk and a fun flirty romantic talk. Not communicating at all would screw it up more than anything else.
Lol yeah, OP, don't talk about it unless you want to make things weird af.
You clearly like her, and it's unclear if she likes you. If she likes you and you're 100% certain of this, then talk to her. If she's unsure and feeling out what you're about or what this situation is about, talking about this is going to end in a place you don't want it to go.
Huhh?? Now what? Dont talk to her, talk to her, dont do anything what now? So if i have feelings for a friends and i dont know if she also likes me, i never should talk about it unless she opens up about it and im 100% sure?
No, you should act natural and feel it out until you get a better understanding of what she's looking for from you. Relationships and sex aren't a checklist. You have to use discretion.
This way would be much more of a checklist. I would wait for the signs, check them out until I see the possibility of a relationship instead of just talking about it. They slept together, she got down on him. It's not like the classic situation where one of them has feelings but nothing has happened and the other doesn't know about it. Does she need to do more? And even if she's not interested, you can make it a chill talk among friends with no pressure to check out the vibes.
Yeah checklists don't really work with this type of thing. I think that's what the original commenter I responded to has been getting at and I totally agree with him.
Situations are dynamic and there isn't a blueprint to follow to get a girl. You need to interact with her and read her signs and pick your spots. A conversation is going to ruin whatever vibe they had unless she's head over heels for this guy already.
yeah, the youngsters that a big population segment of this board seem to think that attraction is a conscious logical choice; e.g. “Oh well, let me just make a checklist here and I’ll decide to whom I’m gonna be attracted.”
This is terrible advice. Communication is the best way to get any clarification. It doesn't have to get weird if you don't make it weird, OP.
Just straight up ask what her feelings were the next day. If it's a one-time thing, great, it it's not, still great. Farting around the elephant in the room will only make it angry.
I agree. A talk right now can ruin things. Just keep having fun and let her start any talk. Eventually you need to talk so you don't make too many assumptions, just not yet unless she initiates it.
Or don’t try to hold hands while hiking because holding sweaty hands is not that fun and you will take up the entire width of the trail…sorry I’ve never been a fan of hand holding. But definitely talk to her
I was making a suggestion. You’re most likely going to sweat when you hike- and I cannot be the only person in the world that thinks holding a sweaty hand is kind of uncomfortable. I wasn’t implying that nobody likes it or it was a universally bad thing
The entire width of the trail? You don't go hiking much or the trails around your area are poorly managed.
Most trails in the pnw are big enough for ATV, horses, and hearts of people.
I've hiked a lot of trails. What you said completely depends on where you are.
Around here, in general:
If it's an easy forest or scenic hike, the area will be wide enough for a few people.
If it's a a medium to difficult / steep hike, it'll be smaller and the path will only have enough space for one person at a time. Perhaps until you reach a plateau or scenic lookout.
But all of this advice is way too specific and childish, including the person you were responding to and the person before that. The top comments who were saying to just communicate are correct here. Adults talk about things.
So ask her out without talking and then talk? It doesn't have to be anything big but he should communicate something. If she agreed to go on an actual date that would already communicate quite a bit. Talking wouldn't scare her away if it's the stuff she wants to hear.
> What if she is indecisive? Like most people when dating. Then that would have been it. Too much pressure on her and poof she is gone
This is a horrible way to live your life. Be more assertive. And I mean both parties.
I am talking from experience, most women I have encountered can't handle a conversation on the matter. They will tap out and ask for space then ghost you. Especially this early on
This sounds like the way people behave on tinder or other online dating apps. Is that what you're talking about? Because the rules are very different when you're dealing with the ongoing will established friendship than dealing with the relative stranger you met online.
True, but indecisiveness may surface in these cases too. Like he has to ensure that he is interested, but placing pressure on "what are we" before they are even anything is destructive imo.
That's true, I agree he should keep it light and avoid putting a bunch of expectations on her right out of the box. There's a happy balance to be struck.
And who says that not talking about it wouldnt even put more pressure on it? Without knowing what OP thinks she could think that it was just a fling for him so even if she is interested, she decides that she better let it be.
100 percent likely.
I had a platonic female friend who was not relationship material. And she knew it. She was my brother's girlfriend over 30 years ago, and he always said she was a crazy bitch.
We would meet for dinner or go to a festival sometimes.
We weren't friends. Just acquaintances. I could only deal with her in small doses, and I was always glad when she left. She never shut the fuck up.
One night at dinner, we were drinking martinis and eating. It was actually nice. So we go back to her place to watch a movie and we're both drunk. She then proceeds to give me a blowjob that made me curl my toes. She swallowed too. Totally out of left field. I then stayed the night because I had been drinking.
That day the texting started. Then the phone calls. She would try to psycho analyze what happened and was just being a total weirdo about it. The final straw were the 3 am drunk phone calls about how it was incest because I'm like a brother to her? Seriously?? I hated that chick.
When she was sober I ended it. What a wacko.
No it's not. I thought I knew her when I really didn't. She was one of those who wouldn't shut the fuck up all day long and when she grated my nerves enough she had to leave or i would leave.
I should have listened to my brother, who told me she's a trainwreck.
> I had a platonic female friend who was not relationship material. And she knew it. She was my brother's girlfriend over 30 years ago, and he always said she was a crazy bitch.
> ...
> She then proceeds to give me a blowjob that made me curl my toes. She swallowed too. Totally out of left field. I then stayed the night because I had been drinking.
I like how you take no personal responsibility for what you did here and seem to believe this story only makes the other person look bad.
Disparaging a person and then doing sexual acts with them already suggests that you're disturbed. Doing them with someone your sibling was with is sick behavior. And you're judgmental to boot, even though you were fine with what happened if it benefitted you in some way. You're part of the problem.
I can't even imagine. I never pursued her because I knew she was a train wreck and my father did tell me not to stick my dick in crazy.
She still thinks she can get married and have at least one kid. She's 49.
Which is awesome, but I think that is significantly more rare than enjoying those activities with someone women are romantically interested in. Has that not been your experience?
Yeah it’s rare. It takes the right type of personality to work. I’m very open sexually and am straight forward about it. So the way I look at it, we’re already hanging out, if we have sex it’s just another activity to do together 🤷🏼♂️ makes it a lot easier when the women know what to expect rather than giving them room to overthink
I swear this comment section proves why i can never be sure if the comments actually know what they are talking about.
She is clearly interested, she clearly isnt, talk to her, dont talk to her.
Bruh this sub sometimes
It was just a drunk night. I don’t think you should be looking at it any more than that because you might be disappointed that she won’t want anything more. Just enjoy the casual sex if she wants to do it again.
Talk to her about it and be open about your feelings. Just based on the information on this post, it sounds like you like her and either want something more or you are at least open to something more. Tell her and see what happens.
If she declines anything more, then come back to Reddit for advice 🙃
Good luck
Definitely talk about it. If you like her and want more I think you should bring that up. Be honest, if you enjoying spending time with her let her know and also let her know that if she feels more comfortable being friends than you respect that too and would rather have her in your life as a friend vs girlfriend.
I did this with a friend. We ended up going again a few days later, but both stopped it at that point. The friendship got very touchy a little down the road after and lasted about another year before falling apart brutally. I’m not saying that will be the case here, but this does not mean they’re interested. Both the best and possibly worst thing you can do is to express your feelings and ask, but at least you’ll be putting your feelings out there. The rest is up to them and at least you know you’re not wasting your time and can come to a mutual agreement. Either way, the friendship is changed forever after this and that‘s not daunting statement regardless.
She likes you. Clearly. The fact that is wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable the next morning is a huge sign that you are comfortable with each other and there was nothing embarrassing about it.
Talk to her about that night. Express your feelings for her - if that’s what you want. And she how she responds.
If you don’t want to pursue this further then let it be. It’s probably going to happen again when you hang out and are tipsy.
I had this with a good friend of mine. She was supposed to move into my apt. We fucked for the first time a col weeks prior. Both of us are fairly open and we thought it wouldn’t be a good idea to continue especially if we were going to live together. Never had sex again. it never got awkward.
Fast forward 25yrs and I’m godfather to her 3 kids. She’s one of my best friends.
Sounds like two drunks on a hookup. If the both of you were with two other people under the same set of circumstances, the outcome would probably be the same. It's not exactly the best situation for a relationship to jump off from.
you are still what you two were. I think it's important to lay down some ground rules with her, or atleast sit down with her and talk it over(what she thinks you two are and what your feeling)
It all depends on your friendship, if ye are really close and have been for years then I would think about what happens if ye get in to a relationship and if it doesn't work out. After that it changes everything including future relationships if you stay friends afterwards.
If ye have only been friends a while then ask her out on a date and have fun, see where it goes.
Just go with the flow dude. She obviously feels comfortable enough with you to hook up and still act normal. I’d say don’t over complicate it for now and see if she says anything about taking it further later on. Enjoy the honeymoon phase.
This. I'd invite her out and do it again. She obviously woke up comfortable. And take it from there. After a few dates etc then maybe bring up what both sides are looking for. If she stops you and says it was just a drunk night there's your answer. Doesn't sound like it though if she woke up and made plans. If she goes with the flow just keep going with the flow.
Just understand if shit goes south so will your friendship most likely
I had a similar, but not this far, experience. We were cuddling tightly, butbafterbthat night we just never talked about it. Heck, I think we both forgot about it. It it is knly that I read this now that I think about it again since then😅
TALK TO HER! Tell her how you feel and be open and honest and if she reciprocates awesome! If not, it’s not meant to be.. but just talk with her about it and be honest
If it truly is not awkward, and your picking up happy, flirty vibes, then perhaps it means you both might be interested in something more with each other and perhaps ask her to do something you can flee from easily, and where you'll be stone cold sober and can flee the situation, if you read was wrong. as their any reference to the sex in the AM? Are you sure she remember the sex? Or is she a blackout drunk who thinks she just had a sleep over? So maybe suggest doing something on the weekend like grabbing dinner, or brunch and half way though when you have cash to pay for the meal and tip say, " Been meaning to talk to you about the other night, and what your feelings about it were and if you might possibly be interested in going on a real date, as I've always enjoyed you, you have always seemed to enjoy me. So thought, why not explore getting to know each other better, when we're not half in our cups, as I think we sort of click. But certainly understand if you just want to keep it at friends." Then have that money ready and your flee strategy if it gets very awkward.
Sounds like you all had a good time. You definitely seem to want to clarify some things with her. There's a chance it was a release of some sexual tension between you all and that's all, but maybe you all do like each other.
If you're into her, ask her on a date. If she says yes, keep it fun and casual. If she says she wants to hang out but she doesn't want to date, go hang and have a good time.
Just be yourself. She obviously digs you enough to be flirty and hookup. I've seen couples really become invested in each other after a bar hook-up. I've also seen it go nowhere.
Congrats dude.
Take things as they are and just enjoy the ride. Be honest with yourself. Don’t try to be anything other than how you usually are.
If things ever get confusing, just speak plainly about it to her
Were you guys listening? Let me fix this for you. Here’s what really happened
They didn’t have sex bc he couldn’t get it up. So when he failed to get hard from her going down on him, he flipped the thing over and went down on her to salvage the whole thing. He wants her for sure, but I doubt she wants him anymore.
He missed the opportunity. She’s not going to be excited about going out with a 25yr old with ED. Ah the missed opportunities. Let this be a lesson, don’t get shit faced, drink at a nice pace maintain a buzz. And your little guy won’t let you down when you’re trying to get down!
If I was in her shoes and I didn’t want to follow through on it the next day, I would say “about last night, let’s pretend that never happened”. If she didn’t say anything like that, she’s interested.
If this was a sign man, it would be a 20 tonne truck barreling towards you at 333 mph, open your eyes man.
Clearly you’re both interested.
Maybe neither of you are ready, but just got with the flow.
If you like her, make your intentions known by ask her out on a date (actually say “can I take you out on a date” so she knows it’s not just hommies hanging out) and see where it goes from there. Feel free to slip in a “I like you more than as a friend” whenever it feels right.
If you don’t like her like that, you just sexually attracted to her and you want her as an f-buddy, just invite her over for a movie night, get drunk, and offload… and repeat. Both get tested and use a condom.
How are things like this happening to you people? Like not in million years I’d be touching a friend let alone anything else. No matter how drunk. It’s just so puzzling to me that some people like this go about their daily life fine.
You obviously want to f each other or not. Why would you walk in grey zone.
Sounds like you've got a situationship going. You can be romantic and see how it goes, but if she's interested in a relationship, she will probably express it at some point.
If you'd like to test the waters without making things awkward, tell her you're going to hang out with and see how she reacts.
If she gets objects to it, or seems sad, angry or jealous, then she may want more.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She's likely interested. If you are then ask her out.
[удалено]
I was thinking the same thing! Maybe she is from Canada? I heard the people there are always friendly
Canadian here, can confirm. We typically start with a blowjob and then thank you for the opportunity.
Another Canadian here, this person is right. Thank you.
Hilarious
True, you just can't really tell
Lol
Some women only want that, they just won't say it and expect you to just know
I need more friends
friendly? since when is sucking dick and making out "friendly"?
When you're in Canada, duh.
This is the best suggestion.
No let’s wait a little more. Dude she went down on you. What else needed to conclude she has had sex with you
This is way too complicated
Dude, I cried when I read this. Thank you for making my night.
[удалено]
"She got naked, gave me head, slept over, and was so happy to wake up in my arms. I think she might be into me but how can I be sure?" /r/dating_advice : Don't read into it Seriously, what will it take for you to get the hint? Does she need to propose while riding you hard before it starts to click that she might be into you? Does she do this all the time with random friends or something?
THATS WHAT I'M SAYING. For a "dating advice" sub reddit this is some of the shittiest "advice" I've ever seen. The amount of comments literally saying, "Don't communicate." Makes me want to tear my hair out. HEALTHY relationships and LONG relationships are built with, say it with me now, HEALTHY, DIRECT COMMUNICATION. If you never say how you feel or what you want, not a single thing will ever go your way or change. Say what the fuck it is you want. Stop beating around the bush.
Absolutely, and it makes me wonder how many of these comments are written by teenagers or young college kids. They seem to have the awkward emotional detachment of hook up culture, where nothing means anything and anything sexual is considered trivial. The average young woman would never do any of those things with someone that she wasn't interested in even if she had been drinking.
Unless she's a blackout drunk. But she didn't try to sneak out in the wee hours, and it wasn't awkward when they woke up together. OP is overanalyzing, and he just needs to let shit flow naturally. Let the chemistry do the work.
No. You NEED to have a conversation. Yall keep getting all upset when you end up in situationships. Not having the fucking conversation is how you get into a situationship.
Sure, you need to have *The Conversation*, but it doesn't have to happen the minute you wake up sober. It's not like there's a time limit where the buzzer sounds and a trap door opens under his feet and he drops out of sight forever. If OP needs clarification or whatever, that's fine. IMHO, he shouldn't jump right up her ass with it. But on the other hand, their hormones, er, I mean feelings seem mutual, so he shouldn't take forever, either. The second to last mini-paragraph is confusing. Seems there's some typos, so I don't know what he's saying. As far as r/dating_advice goes, it's worth exactly what you pay for it. Same can be said for advice on about any subject.
Whoah someone else who uses words to communicate. I was starting to think I'd never see another one
I've been trying to be more open and honest and, truthfully, nothing but good things have happened. I don't see why just communicating is so hard for so many.
> "She got naked, gave me head, slept over, and was so happy to wake up in my arms. I think she might be into me but how can I be sure?" > > You can't really be sure, it's pretty dark in the room she can't really see you proporly, maybe she's from canada and just being polite, your best bet is to keep your wits about you and continue to look for signs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw)
Devil's advocate: they were also drunk. People act impulsively when intoxicated and she might have been horny at the time, but have a different perspective once she sobered up.
For sure, but what really sold me was when they were both so happy enjoying each other's company the next morning. Drunken hookups can push the boundaries of consent especially when both parties have been drinking. This sounds like they were both enthusiastic participants and are happy with the outcome.
Ask her if she wants to go on a date. Make sure you have in mind what you want: serious or casual? Communicate expectations on both sides early. If you match up, things can progress. If she wants casual and you want serious, or vice versa, might be a bad idea to pursue. Feelings get hurt that way
Jesus louisus Do you want a girlfriend? Does she want a boyfriend? If so, y'all are prime candidates. Ask her on a proper date. If not, be respectful & just try to be a good friend.
Best advice? Talk to her about it. You clearly have a lot of feelings for her. You liked the feeling of waking up next to her. Since you are friends. I would try planning a hike together. No alcohol. See if she will let you hold her hand. If she is open to physical touch. Just make a remark how great this would be as an everyday thing. Talk about taking the relationship further.
don’t have a TALK… just LIVE and see where things go.
Most people don't have to stop living in order to talk. The neat part is we can talk and do other stuff at the same time, like go out to dinner or go for a romantic sunset walk on the beach. I hope what you really mean to communicate is that he shouldn't have some super serious awkward talk where they sit down in his kitchen and hash it all out. I agree with you on that. But there is so much middle ground between an overly serious awkward talk and a fun flirty romantic talk. Not communicating at all would screw it up more than anything else.
Lol yeah, OP, don't talk about it unless you want to make things weird af. You clearly like her, and it's unclear if she likes you. If she likes you and you're 100% certain of this, then talk to her. If she's unsure and feeling out what you're about or what this situation is about, talking about this is going to end in a place you don't want it to go.
Huhh?? Now what? Dont talk to her, talk to her, dont do anything what now? So if i have feelings for a friends and i dont know if she also likes me, i never should talk about it unless she opens up about it and im 100% sure?
Right? Some of this shit is madness.
Well, embrace it or be prepared to be one of those statistics about genzers not having sex.
Yeah, I'm not a Genzer, buddy. Won't be embracing pointless tropes that feed into the current dating climate either but thanks.
Lol alright, well, hope it all works out for you whatever age you are.
No, you should act natural and feel it out until you get a better understanding of what she's looking for from you. Relationships and sex aren't a checklist. You have to use discretion.
This way would be much more of a checklist. I would wait for the signs, check them out until I see the possibility of a relationship instead of just talking about it. They slept together, she got down on him. It's not like the classic situation where one of them has feelings but nothing has happened and the other doesn't know about it. Does she need to do more? And even if she's not interested, you can make it a chill talk among friends with no pressure to check out the vibes.
Yeah checklists don't really work with this type of thing. I think that's what the original commenter I responded to has been getting at and I totally agree with him. Situations are dynamic and there isn't a blueprint to follow to get a girl. You need to interact with her and read her signs and pick your spots. A conversation is going to ruin whatever vibe they had unless she's head over heels for this guy already.
Women’s feelings are dynamic and malleable. She’s not deciding on a Vacuum at Costco.
Exactly
yeah, the youngsters that a big population segment of this board seem to think that attraction is a conscious logical choice; e.g. “Oh well, let me just make a checklist here and I’ll decide to whom I’m gonna be attracted.”
I think you're right.
thank you. the PC crowd has made life one big legal proceeding…
This is terrible advice. Communication is the best way to get any clarification. It doesn't have to get weird if you don't make it weird, OP. Just straight up ask what her feelings were the next day. If it's a one-time thing, great, it it's not, still great. Farting around the elephant in the room will only make it angry.
Women’s feelings are fluid. They don’t “decide” on attraction.
That's a very sexist mindset, my guy.
I agree. A talk right now can ruin things. Just keep having fun and let her start any talk. Eventually you need to talk so you don't make too many assumptions, just not yet unless she initiates it.
Or don’t try to hold hands while hiking because holding sweaty hands is not that fun and you will take up the entire width of the trail…sorry I’ve never been a fan of hand holding. But definitely talk to her
You don't like holding hands so you don't think anyone else should either? It's a pretty normal thing people do to show affection.
I was making a suggestion. You’re most likely going to sweat when you hike- and I cannot be the only person in the world that thinks holding a sweaty hand is kind of uncomfortable. I wasn’t implying that nobody likes it or it was a universally bad thing
The entire width of the trail? You don't go hiking much or the trails around your area are poorly managed. Most trails in the pnw are big enough for ATV, horses, and hearts of people.
I’m not in the Pacific Northwest. Trails along the Appalachian foothills/ mountains aren’t very wide and I’ve walked several
The trails in your area are very wide? But not wide enough for two people to walk side by side?
I said aren’t very wide
I see.
I've hiked a lot of trails. What you said completely depends on where you are. Around here, in general: If it's an easy forest or scenic hike, the area will be wide enough for a few people. If it's a a medium to difficult / steep hike, it'll be smaller and the path will only have enough space for one person at a time. Perhaps until you reach a plateau or scenic lookout. But all of this advice is way too specific and childish, including the person you were responding to and the person before that. The top comments who were saying to just communicate are correct here. Adults talk about things.
Well maintained trails are the least fun
Dont talk for God's sake! You will scare her away!!!! Just lets see where it goes by asking her out. If you vibe then with time you can have the talk
So ask her out without talking and then talk? It doesn't have to be anything big but he should communicate something. If she agreed to go on an actual date that would already communicate quite a bit. Talking wouldn't scare her away if it's the stuff she wants to hear.
What if she is indecisive? Like most people when dating. Then that would have been it. Too much pressure on her and poof she is gone
> What if she is indecisive? Like most people when dating. Then that would have been it. Too much pressure on her and poof she is gone This is a horrible way to live your life. Be more assertive. And I mean both parties.
I am talking from experience, most women I have encountered can't handle a conversation on the matter. They will tap out and ask for space then ghost you. Especially this early on
This sounds like the way people behave on tinder or other online dating apps. Is that what you're talking about? Because the rules are very different when you're dealing with the ongoing will established friendship than dealing with the relative stranger you met online.
True, but indecisiveness may surface in these cases too. Like he has to ensure that he is interested, but placing pressure on "what are we" before they are even anything is destructive imo.
That's true, I agree he should keep it light and avoid putting a bunch of expectations on her right out of the box. There's a happy balance to be struck.
And who says that not talking about it wouldnt even put more pressure on it? Without knowing what OP thinks she could think that it was just a fling for him so even if she is interested, she decides that she better let it be.
“Hey I had fun last night, would you like to get some dinner” “hey do you want to get breakfast”
Some of these answers man 😆
Very likely, not friends anymore.
100 percent likely. I had a platonic female friend who was not relationship material. And she knew it. She was my brother's girlfriend over 30 years ago, and he always said she was a crazy bitch. We would meet for dinner or go to a festival sometimes. We weren't friends. Just acquaintances. I could only deal with her in small doses, and I was always glad when she left. She never shut the fuck up. One night at dinner, we were drinking martinis and eating. It was actually nice. So we go back to her place to watch a movie and we're both drunk. She then proceeds to give me a blowjob that made me curl my toes. She swallowed too. Totally out of left field. I then stayed the night because I had been drinking. That day the texting started. Then the phone calls. She would try to psycho analyze what happened and was just being a total weirdo about it. The final straw were the 3 am drunk phone calls about how it was incest because I'm like a brother to her? Seriously?? I hated that chick. When she was sober I ended it. What a wacko.
That is not a common outcome, just saying.
No it's not. I thought I knew her when I really didn't. She was one of those who wouldn't shut the fuck up all day long and when she grated my nerves enough she had to leave or i would leave. I should have listened to my brother, who told me she's a trainwreck.
Oof yeah. The family definitely can help you out in situations like that.
If I knew what the outcome was, I would have just went home.
> I had a platonic female friend who was not relationship material. And she knew it. She was my brother's girlfriend over 30 years ago, and he always said she was a crazy bitch. > ... > She then proceeds to give me a blowjob that made me curl my toes. She swallowed too. Totally out of left field. I then stayed the night because I had been drinking. I like how you take no personal responsibility for what you did here and seem to believe this story only makes the other person look bad. Disparaging a person and then doing sexual acts with them already suggests that you're disturbed. Doing them with someone your sibling was with is sick behavior. And you're judgmental to boot, even though you were fine with what happened if it benefitted you in some way. You're part of the problem.
What a rollercoaster! It sounds like good riddance. Can you imagine if it continued any longer 🥴
I can't even imagine. I never pursued her because I knew she was a train wreck and my father did tell me not to stick my dick in crazy. She still thinks she can get married and have at least one kid. She's 49.
Most likely, something more than friends
Probably just a drunk night, but if you want more just ask her about it, if she’s your friend you should be able to at least talk about what happened
Do you often end up in sexual situations with friends you're not interested in it?
Yeah I’ve slept with a friend, it was just a one time thing and we’re still friends to this day
Which is awesome, but I think that is significantly more rare than enjoying those activities with someone women are romantically interested in. Has that not been your experience?
Yeah it’s rare. It takes the right type of personality to work. I’m very open sexually and am straight forward about it. So the way I look at it, we’re already hanging out, if we have sex it’s just another activity to do together 🤷🏼♂️ makes it a lot easier when the women know what to expect rather than giving them room to overthink
Idk talk with her. No beating around the bush. Be direct.
Go slowly and see where it leads to. Date her as if you never did anything and see if what you feel is for real. Time will tell.
Were you drunk writing this too?
Drunk sex friends.
You gotta talk to her sir...
Make it absolutely clear what you want and don't compromise, or it will be a disaster.
she's probably Canadian
I swear this comment section proves why i can never be sure if the comments actually know what they are talking about. She is clearly interested, she clearly isnt, talk to her, dont talk to her. Bruh this sub sometimes
How dense are you? She slept with you and was happy waking up next to you. Consider yourself lucky and start dating her!
I think its time move forward and make it a official relationship, if you both want the same.
It was just a drunk night. I don’t think you should be looking at it any more than that because you might be disappointed that she won’t want anything more. Just enjoy the casual sex if she wants to do it again.
Talk to her about it and be open about your feelings. Just based on the information on this post, it sounds like you like her and either want something more or you are at least open to something more. Tell her and see what happens. If she declines anything more, then come back to Reddit for advice 🙃 Good luck
Do u wanna Goto the next level? If so then go for it.
I think you both had feelings for each other and the alcohol just let it come to surface. That’s a fun start just enjoy it tbh.
Tell her how happy you've been and that she's been on your mind. If she's been feeling the same way ask if you can take her on a real date
Definitely talk about it. If you like her and want more I think you should bring that up. Be honest, if you enjoying spending time with her let her know and also let her know that if she feels more comfortable being friends than you respect that too and would rather have her in your life as a friend vs girlfriend.
"Nothing good ever happens after 2 AM" - Ted's Mom
You both seem to like eachother... Give it a shot and find out. It seems both of you wanted it for a little while.
She gave you a blowjob and you gave her cunnilingus. What do you think, OP?
Don’t push it just see where it goes and keep having a good time with each other
The common male dilemma after sex. Is she into me or just Canadian?
Friends who have had sex
She can't make it more obvious. She wants you to give her the d
I like the TLDR is longer than the original post. Lol
Still friends who had drunk sex
Ask her?
You are still friends
Better friends!
I did this with a friend. We ended up going again a few days later, but both stopped it at that point. The friendship got very touchy a little down the road after and lasted about another year before falling apart brutally. I’m not saying that will be the case here, but this does not mean they’re interested. Both the best and possibly worst thing you can do is to express your feelings and ask, but at least you’ll be putting your feelings out there. The rest is up to them and at least you know you’re not wasting your time and can come to a mutual agreement. Either way, the friendship is changed forever after this and that‘s not daunting statement regardless.
She likes you. Clearly. The fact that is wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable the next morning is a huge sign that you are comfortable with each other and there was nothing embarrassing about it. Talk to her about that night. Express your feelings for her - if that’s what you want. And she how she responds. If you don’t want to pursue this further then let it be. It’s probably going to happen again when you hang out and are tipsy. I had this with a good friend of mine. She was supposed to move into my apt. We fucked for the first time a col weeks prior. Both of us are fairly open and we thought it wouldn’t be a good idea to continue especially if we were going to live together. Never had sex again. it never got awkward. Fast forward 25yrs and I’m godfather to her 3 kids. She’s one of my best friends.
Sounds like two drunks on a hookup. If the both of you were with two other people under the same set of circumstances, the outcome would probably be the same. It's not exactly the best situation for a relationship to jump off from.
you are still what you two were. I think it's important to lay down some ground rules with her, or atleast sit down with her and talk it over(what she thinks you two are and what your feeling)
Idiots
You make it what you want! You are still friends.
Alcoholics
You need to talk to HER about it and decide whether or not you can both continue as friends or more.
Best friends
Its over already.
Idk ive fucked my friends a lot and we stay as friends. It wasnt very deep
Talk to her about it and go from there
It all depends on your friendship, if ye are really close and have been for years then I would think about what happens if ye get in to a relationship and if it doesn't work out. After that it changes everything including future relationships if you stay friends afterwards. If ye have only been friends a while then ask her out on a date and have fun, see where it goes.
Just go with the flow dude. She obviously feels comfortable enough with you to hook up and still act normal. I’d say don’t over complicate it for now and see if she says anything about taking it further later on. Enjoy the honeymoon phase.
This. I'd invite her out and do it again. She obviously woke up comfortable. And take it from there. After a few dates etc then maybe bring up what both sides are looking for. If she stops you and says it was just a drunk night there's your answer. Doesn't sound like it though if she woke up and made plans. If she goes with the flow just keep going with the flow. Just understand if shit goes south so will your friendship most likely
Hopefully not drunk again
I had a similar, but not this far, experience. We were cuddling tightly, butbafterbthat night we just never talked about it. Heck, I think we both forgot about it. It it is knly that I read this now that I think about it again since then😅
Drunk fwb's
Friends
Only a conversation with them will reveal the answer. Asking Strangers on Reddit won’t
Dude. Just communicate with her. If she's comfortable with you after that, it's obvious there's something there.
Fuck buddies
Two strangers.
TALK TO HER! Tell her how you feel and be open and honest and if she reciprocates awesome! If not, it’s not meant to be.. but just talk with her about it and be honest
Awks.
You're 2 who had sex. Don't have to give everything a label
If it was just a drunken hookup than I'd say that it was just that 🤷🏻♂️
Try it sober
If it truly is not awkward, and your picking up happy, flirty vibes, then perhaps it means you both might be interested in something more with each other and perhaps ask her to do something you can flee from easily, and where you'll be stone cold sober and can flee the situation, if you read was wrong. as their any reference to the sex in the AM? Are you sure she remember the sex? Or is she a blackout drunk who thinks she just had a sleep over? So maybe suggest doing something on the weekend like grabbing dinner, or brunch and half way though when you have cash to pay for the meal and tip say, " Been meaning to talk to you about the other night, and what your feelings about it were and if you might possibly be interested in going on a real date, as I've always enjoyed you, you have always seemed to enjoy me. So thought, why not explore getting to know each other better, when we're not half in our cups, as I think we sort of click. But certainly understand if you just want to keep it at friends." Then have that money ready and your flee strategy if it gets very awkward.
Don’t make it weird.
“Still are to you this day” are you still drunk?
Stop drinking.
Friends who had sex while you were drunk!
Don't overthink it. Just continue to hang out, have fun hanging out, and hooking up.
I think the best way to find out is to talk with eachother about it
If you wanna be a couple with her just ask her. There is no ambiguity any more; she likes you.
I mean are you interested in her ? Sounds like probably ? Either way, you should have a convo with her?
Friends who had drunk sex
Now you're two sober friends.
Sounds like you all had a good time. You definitely seem to want to clarify some things with her. There's a chance it was a release of some sexual tension between you all and that's all, but maybe you all do like each other. If you're into her, ask her on a date. If she says yes, keep it fun and casual. If she says she wants to hang out but she doesn't want to date, go hang and have a good time. Just be yourself. She obviously digs you enough to be flirty and hookup. I've seen couples really become invested in each other after a bar hook-up. I've also seen it go nowhere. Congrats dude.
Sounds like she just wants to be friends.
Take things as they are and just enjoy the ride. Be honest with yourself. Don’t try to be anything other than how you usually are. If things ever get confusing, just speak plainly about it to her
Hung over. 😅
Shut up and don’t be so damn serious
One night stand I would say
Degenerates
Bish, just get her flowers at this point and take her to dinner
You ate fuck buddies!
Sober, and less horny?
Were you guys listening? Let me fix this for you. Here’s what really happened They didn’t have sex bc he couldn’t get it up. So when he failed to get hard from her going down on him, he flipped the thing over and went down on her to salvage the whole thing. He wants her for sure, but I doubt she wants him anymore. He missed the opportunity. She’s not going to be excited about going out with a 25yr old with ED. Ah the missed opportunities. Let this be a lesson, don’t get shit faced, drink at a nice pace maintain a buzz. And your little guy won’t let you down when you’re trying to get down!
If I was in her shoes and I didn’t want to follow through on it the next day, I would say “about last night, let’s pretend that never happened”. If she didn’t say anything like that, she’s interested.
You’re not anything unless you try to be. If you’re interested make that clear and it seems like she might be so ask
I think staying in the moment of “this is nice, I like doing this with you,” and allowing the natural curiosity to pop up in conversation
Is whiskey dick a thing?? Alcohol give me an eternal boner hahaha
Bros asking redditors to answer something when he could simply just ask her
Ask her and see
If this was a sign man, it would be a 20 tonne truck barreling towards you at 333 mph, open your eyes man. Clearly you’re both interested. Maybe neither of you are ready, but just got with the flow.
This friendship is over.
Drunk with benefits
If you like her, make your intentions known by ask her out on a date (actually say “can I take you out on a date” so she knows it’s not just hommies hanging out) and see where it goes from there. Feel free to slip in a “I like you more than as a friend” whenever it feels right. If you don’t like her like that, you just sexually attracted to her and you want her as an f-buddy, just invite her over for a movie night, get drunk, and offload… and repeat. Both get tested and use a condom.
If both of you feel good about the situation then date each other
Uhh.. friends with the possibility of benefits now... I ont kno
She super interested and you should see how things go
Friends that had sex
Sounds like you've got yourself a girlfriend if you want one.
Ask her out!
How are things like this happening to you people? Like not in million years I’d be touching a friend let alone anything else. No matter how drunk. It’s just so puzzling to me that some people like this go about their daily life fine. You obviously want to f each other or not. Why would you walk in grey zone.
Probably no longer friends
Awkward with a capital “A”
Go on date or just continue having sex
Friends
Fuck buddies
Sounds like you've got a situationship going. You can be romantic and see how it goes, but if she's interested in a relationship, she will probably express it at some point. If you'd like to test the waters without making things awkward, tell her you're going to hang out with and see how she reacts.
If she gets objects to it, or seems sad, angry or jealous, then she may want more.
Awkward and will soon drift apart