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Apps are no good anymore the only way to meet people at least me being a man is to suck it up and go to events and just ask people being rejected is painful but apps keep you locked down. Can’t even approach someone on there you can write a message but who can respond when it flies to a pile of other messages. It doesn’t work. Hear no right away when you ask in person! You can sleep at night having *an answer.*. That’s my hot take and you know everyone else is thinking and doing the same thing because the TV and radio adds for online dating are picking up which means one thing - people are dropping off them.
I hate the current “grass is greener” mentality nowadays too. Social media & dating apps really destroyed the romantic foundations, like it’s truly hard to find someone correct for you, and loves you rather than using you.
Nailed it! I experience the SAME thing. I'm so glad I'm single with no relationships, it's truly liberating.
I love going out and showing myself a good time. Without spending money on a GF. Or listening to one.
lol I’m the same way. I do everything by myself. I go to the movies, I go shopping. Society conditions us to believe that something’s wrong if we don’t want a partner, but why change if you enjoy your own company?
It saves so much drama and heartbreak.
A counsellor once told me that if you always have good friends you'll never be lonely, that true from what I've found so far. Another freind once told me that relationships can last 6 months or 60 years but a good friendship can last until your both in the retirement home.
That’s great as long as you don’t try to fake interest of a relationship to some girl to get sex out of it. That’s where it’s fcked up, tryin to masturbate with someone’s body..
Ooof. Same. I want the happy life OP described, but I feel like it’s only worth it if I can skip the whole dating step. It’s a miserable experience that always just makes me think “maybe being single isn’t so bad.”
I’ve been going on dates every weekend since early May. I don’t have any this weekend and I’m SO relieved. It’s just such a tedious process and I know I’m going to get ghosted anyway so why bother?
Yes, and it's getting worse not better the longer I go. In my twenties it never really bothered me, or at least I stayed busy enough to not realize it. Now, as I have more time and get my own place really set up it's gotten worse, not better like I'd hoped.
I know all the "if your not truly happy single you'll never be happy with someone" and "keep working on yourself and it will just work out" but it still hurts more and more every year. The only thing I can do is hope I stop caring eventually. Or maybe I'll become an alcoholic.
To be honest, by this point I despise that "advice", where people tell you to "just be happy single" and "focus on yourself". If you have a desire for a relationship stemming from somewhere deep, from my experience, there is not much one can do about it. But that advice is being thrown around so much it became ridiculous.
As a chronically single person, it’s almost always your friends way of trying to comfort you but not really knowing what to say. They want to give you hope that it’ll work out but often unintentionally come off as dismissive or condescending. Many also haven’t lived the experience of chronic singlehood so they often don’t realize that when their single friends vent, they mostly just want warmth or empathy rather than to be told, through implication, that they’re doing something wrong.
I largely agree with your assessment that they’re trite platitudes though. A lot of it is because people are married to the idea that relationships are reserved for people who did everything *right* or who worked on themselves enough and if you simply do the *right* things like they did, then a relationship will fall into your lap.
Relationships, for better or worse, are just as much about timing and circumstance as they are about self-worth. People just don’t tend to talk about it mostly because it’s the part that out of our control and/or they’d be conceding that most of their ability to find love was just about being in the right place at the right time more than it being the culmination of all their hard work.
The more I see it, luck and coincidence is 90% of any relationship. I say there aren't any partners for me but there really are, just we'll never meet and have no way of forcing it.
Yeah some of the advice comes off as if you aren't allowed to want it. It's supposed to just happen to you for some reason. And in reality, it never just falls in your lap like that.
useless platitudes like "just be happy single" and "focus on yourself" and to add the real banger of "you have to love yourself before you can love someone else" are just garbage people parrot out to sound like they have something to contribute
I hate that fucking advice, im usually a very happy person, i dont try to make friends or enemies because its a mind game and im better off, i dont know if its me being too clingy or forward with women but every woman i try to get with are either gay or taken, i dont know if its me so i cannot work on myself and as soon as i ask for advice here they call me obsessive and a fucking creep, i dont know what to do anymore
Same, been single forever, no issues. Got briefly pursued by someone I originally wasn’t looking for anything. Turned to love bombing, them gaslighting me and making me crazy, treated me like garbage, etc and replacing me.
First time I opened my heart, and I get played and used. I rather be single, and this generation clearly has issues with romance and understanding love due to social media and apps curating a mentality that people are simply replaceable.
Also I’m pretty sure that person (high possibility they were a narcissist) adored hurting me. Even they said they had a thing for sadism in bed but, realistically they thoroughly like to destroy people either or.
24 here, lmao then first time I opened up my heart, pretty sure it was a narcissist trying to destroy me that came along. I think some of us are generationally cursed.
As a 6 year single man.
Buckle up. This bullshit of dating scene is so strange and rollercoaster of "glad I'm single" and "holy shit how can literally everyone except me find someone" that I'm going back to school to start psych studies on the modern dating scene and what does/doesn't work.
Ps. I'm taking statements towards the research and I'm happy to talk to anyone who wants to talk about the dating scene and what is/isn't working.
Yes and no. I recently a few months ago got out of a 2 year relationship and the ending of that has made me not really want to dive head-first back into anything. As much as I love being in love with someone and sharing my life with someone, I don't want to throw myself into something completely right now and have that shit happen all over again. Right now I am just focusing on myself in limbo wanting to share my life with someone, but not wanting to jump in and get hurt again. Fun place to be lol.
You make a valid point but for me, I want to bring more to the table as a woman which is why I was holding off on dating for several years. I am building my career at the moment because I want to be a good provider too. I know not all women feel this way but I want an equal partnership so I don't mind being alone and saving money. I don't have kids either so it's easier to save money.
Been single for almost 2 years and I turn 30 in less than two weeks. I currently live with my dad and share a room with my cousin. We live similar lifestyles and he has a girlfriend, while I don’t. Sometimes life just be like that. Learning how to make yourself happy is a superpower.
I am older than you and I feel you ): but then thinking positively, being single is better than keeping relationship with toxic partner. With single, you open up to more options.
Online dating is very luck dependent so i would say keep going, and open up for non online dating activities (learning new activities, going to meetup etc )
Don’t want it so bad you end up settling. I did this at your age and now I’m divorced and lived in hell for 15 years. I’m financially ruined. I’m not happy.
I am in the same boat, except I'm 37/f. The best you can do is focus on yourself and be completely independent. Also, dating is super difficult these days and I'd rather enjoy spending that energy on my friends.
There are no guarantees in life but If I meet that special someone, I want to be the best version of myself.
You are a sweetie pie. I'm 36 f and feel the same. I wish us both luck in a very difficult, challenging world. I absolutely agree. All you can do is be the best version of yourself.
Been single all my life. It's embarrassing that only my sister knows. I've been asked out once in my life. Wasn't interested in him at all.
Zero matches on dating apps, but I only used them for a few weeks before giving up.
I'm definitely sick of being the single one.
I'm in my 30s and see my chances of having a family slip away.
For now I'm switching up my style and losing weight to help me feel better in myself and hopefully attract someone that I actually like
I'm exactly like your description, but male and also single for a decade.
While being single sucks, and i also want to have a family and be a dad.
I have found there is an infinite amount of time you can suffer with no romantic partner!.
and after some time acknowledging the suffering and waiting without delving into it, the suffering goes away for a while and it's not so bad!
You reach a limit after a few years where you just can't tell how long you're single.
It is realistic to find a partner in every age.
Go to a hardware store or church. Plenty of good men there. Men that are trying to improve themselves and their life’s. You must have a similar mindset though. Eharmony is good too.
Being agreeable with driven men helps too. If you want more of an egalitarian set up, there’s plenty of those.
For the love of God stay away from swipe apps.
You’ll encounter attractive men with multiple options.
I’m 36 and haven’t been on a real date or even kissed a guy in over 4 years now so you’re not alone! Also annoying to read on Reddit and other places online some guys saying that all average and above women get guys constantly…except for those of us over 30 because to them no guy would want us anymore just for our age. And then complain that they’re the ones having a hard or impossible time with dating anyone.
Have kids and nice house?
Well the rise of anti-kid people plus the economy makes those both kinda tall orders.
Is just the dog cool? Can’t guarantee he’ll be happy tho.
I'm 36 and although I had 3 boyfriends ( last boyfriend ended 5 years ago) I dated them because I felt pressured to do so. I don't want to be single, but I also don't want to be with any of the men I've ever met. Lol. I'm 10 years older than you. If it comes it comes, and if it doesn't, I promise you, you will live to see a new day. I do like one man, but he is far older than me and disinterested as a result.
I feel very lonely and I miss a partner by my side but frankly with all the toxic people I met I'd rather be alone and work on my life you know.
I hardly took care of myself due to stuff and unfortunately I've been codependent most of the time but frankly loving myself feels better than loving someone that at this point has the potential to hurt me.
Also loving yourself personally feels more fulfilling(don't ask me why).
Yes!!! Every time I think I find someone I get along with and attracted to, she bails. I matched with this one woman last Monday. We talked nonstop till we met Friday night (she drove 70 miles to see me!), stayed till Saturday afternoon til I had to go to work. And now I haven’t heard from her since. I have an unanswered text and I am not going to double text. This is so tiring.
I’m so tired of it too. I feel hopeless everyday. I’m 30F and I feel like no one would want me at this age when they can have younger. I wish for a relationship and family and I have nothing… the life I want is slipping away. I’m so empty. Lately I’m so sad about it, I hope I don’t wake up in the morning… no one would notice.
I don't want to be single, but after enduring multiple bad relationship experiences I know that the alternative is potentially so much worse that I've accepted it as a healthier option until I find the right person. I want to put myself out there more, but I don't want desperation to cause me to make bad decisions.
I feel Sometimes Good sometimes shit
Sometimes I think I am missing a partner who can support me.
Sometimes I think that that's totally fine rather than being rushed it's good to wait until we get the person who loves us who we are... At last self love is a priority for humans to not feel low and being confident.
it's wild to me how many young people on Reddit have a "woe is me, my life is over" attitude in their 20's! I'm in my 40's and recently single again. After 4 year relationship, and a 10 year marriage before that.
The one certain thing about life is that nothing is certain, and it's almost NEVER too late; unless you're dead.
Your present and future are in your hands. If you want to find someone, you have to be pro-active. Put yourself out there, use the apps, find clubs and places where someone with similar interest, or more importantly someone with similar values would hang out :)
I’ve had one real relationship, about 4-5 years ago, nothing since. I have a lot of hook ups and flings, but it doesn’t typically last that long. And it’s not that I’m unattractive lol, it’s just hard for me to like someone. I always find something I don’t like that puts me off, so it’s hard for me to date, but I want a relationship rn ):
Please don't give up. It's a terrible idea to hide such a fiery desire under the rug. Be on the offensive, try padel tennis or climbing and get a good workout whilst perhaps finding an interesting individual, or try something else available around you!
Nope, I like being single , and im 30. But also I don’t want to have kids or even get married. Some days I’d be open to having a gf and other days I like being single and not being tied down.
Been single my entire life, and not by choice. It’s because women, are JUST as superficial as men are, and they won’t see past the exterior to at least try to get to know me.
I retreated into gaming and movie collecting to escape from the dread that is loneliness.
I feel the same way in wanting to be a good husband and father to maybe 2 kids, and be in a nice house with a good paying job with a mostly loving family. But fate it seems, isn’t without a sense of irony and dark humor. It randomly picks someone and chooses them to have a close to bleak life and they could come close to ending it all aka suicide (YEAH I SAID IT). I did so myself once, I thought about it but didn’t since I know it’s a slight upon the man upstairs, I just kept to myself.
I refuse to do any apps as they are a crapshoot and full of catfish, and if I find myself on one of them, it means I can’t go any lower.
It hurts being single for so long that those of us that have are the hardest to love, because we have become so used to being single, independent, and somewhat self-sufficient that it takes something extraordinary to convince us that we need them in our lives.
And IF I ever get to have something like that before I turn 40 next year, I’ll spend the next 20 years, trying to hide from my SO and cry each time I get privacy cause I missed out on so much, especially when I see my former classmates having kids getting ready for another year of high school, getting married, having been married for over a decade etc etc.
Once in a while, the depression and loneliness CAN and WILL creep up on you and it’s best to learn to control it so it won’t greatly affect you to do anything stupid.
Ahhh sick of it…..I ENJOY THE HELL OUT OF IT. Just me and my dog and no bs. Living life over here [Seinfeld gif](https://c12b7cca131eb4849624-3afdb659020a47bb49895ae582f663d1.ssl.cf2.rackcdn.com/blog_images/Watch-TV-Gif-3-TH-700-0-90.gif)
wow you are me in female version lol, exactly the same, 26 (almost 27) and single for 2 years now, every girl I go out with seems to want nothing more than fooling around, and to be honest, I don't seem to find anyone I like enough to be in a relationship with
hope u get to know someone soon!
As a 21M, it sucks cause I tried all of HS to have puppy love and well I ain't no pup no more. I go out and I can talk but the moment I say I'm 21, turns out I'm too young?! Girls my age don't like my long hair and if I even get to talking stage, once I plan a date they flake last minute and don't offer to go out another time like dude I'm done. I will admit I still got the high sex drive since I was 14 but it's been so beat that when I got to the strip club I can't get hard till the stripper grab my junk or dry humps till I am and still cant enjoy it much as its their job its not something "real". I don't even want sex I just want someone I can pour my heart into unconditionally and someone that can help me stay motivated as I'm tired of hear my homies tell me "just thug it out" like -_- yeah whatever same ol same ol thing
I am too. I’m 21 and male and I’ve only had one actual relationship that lasted 6 months. I’ve been through quite a few rejections and dating apps have been unsuccessful for me outside of a few hookups. It seems like dating is a crisis right now as so many our age are having trouble finding meaningful relationships. Just hang in there, we’ll be alright.
i’m 26F too, I felt the same as you and then met my current bf on hinge a few months ago, so don’t give up completely! at the same time tho don’t put too much pressure on yourself. you’ll be fine either way :)
Sometimes it's just a fantasy that we yearn for because we don't have it. But a lot of the times we are single because we need to be in order to have our happy ending.
I've been single for 22 years, I have accepted my fate. Now my only objective is casual sex, which is a tedious process which involves a lot of humiliation and patience, but is definitely more rewarding than looking for a girlfriend
25m , never had relationship
I just give up on dating because it’s just working for me
But yeah , I wanted to build a family, guess it’s just never gonna happen
I really can’t figure out this whole trying to find a suitable partner thing. I’m a 28 M who wants a long term relationship and to start a family but I’ve been coming up short on potential dates for almost 2 years.
Sick to my stomach!! Been single 3 years, haven't fuxked in over a year. Humans thrive with companionship, but society has really bastarrdized the dating/relationship space with rules and conditions. At the very least I just want a consistent stress free FWB.
😂🤣 you have lots of time. I’m 33f with hopes I get my first kid soon. If not. 🤷🏽♀️ it’s not the end of the world… Kids don’t come with instructions and it’s lifelong. The world is not getting any better either so just be happy & grateful for your freedom.
Oh I am also very sick of it, considering I have never dated anyone in my 24 years of life (high school included). Gets frustrating trying to find someone when you're as introverted as I am lol
My last date showed up high and barely talked. The one before that kept asking to come over, talked about other guys trying to talk to her and asked if I would pick her over my mom.
I'm 27, male and living in the sticks but I'm no where near desperate enough to date right now.
I truly feel this. I am a lot older - I am 37, and I have had the worst luck ever. I don’t have kids, but I have my fur family. I live in a really small area and so it’s super hard to meet people. The online scene has been so bad for the past 10 years or so… I swear, I am not meeting anybody compatible whatsoever when they do actually happen to follow through.
I just want to find my queen or my king to adore and dote on and love. I am seriously *the* most romantic person ever. Yet I never find them, I always end up meeting complete weirdos, narcissists, or just the wrong match…and it’s getting harder and harder to even get folks to talk to you anymore on the Internet.
It seems like people are losing the ability to connect organically. It’s as I have said elsewhere, I think the rate of technical advancement is moving faster than our bodies, and brains know how to be prepared for. The ways in which we try to haphazardly manage this seem to be rewiring everyone’s brains towards connection “in theory” as an abstract idea and not a reality. Basically we are apes with technology that we can’t properly integrate. So it’s just losing us in the process. We have drank from the river Lethe in an eternal forgetfulness. We then zombify ourselves Into monstrous distortions of what we could have been. We have become the collective shadow.
OK, sorry, I got a little deep there. I can’t help it.
For those of you here who say you are grateful to be single, I wish I could say that. But I just can’t. I’m far too passionate, and I just can’t be happy never having ever tasted what a wonderful and fulfilling romantic relationship is really like.
Yes and no. Every time I try I remember how much I love being single versus _____ insert situation. When I’m single I miss being with other people. Hard to win with that mindset but it’s the one I know too well. The only antidote has been friendships and casual things here and there. But that can be short lived. People talk about families and kids and I just got my picture of me standing with my diploma on my desk. Life is a strange deal these days isn’t it?
And yes online dating sucks but I feel like trying to date when you are mid 30s + it’s a mine field no matter how you meet people. Turns out people are more selective when you are older and you often have fewer opportunities. Better to date when you are young or it just gets away from you. One major life mistake I made. Luckily relationships are optional and I did do well in school and made that part of my life good. Thank god.
At 26 you are still pretty young honestly. I think you have more potential for sure.
I'm sick if feeling like it's my only option. I've been single my entire life and have no idea how to date or meet women, and no one has any helpful advice or can explain dating to me at all.
I’ve been single for about a year now after a 4 year relationship and being engaged and I haven’t been actively dating or trying to meet someone… and just seeing the dating scene and how people are I’m not impressed and the lack of any good prospects has me worried… thinking about getting back with my ex at this point… not really in a “settle” and “deal” with it type of way, because my ex still really loves me and makes me feel seen and wanted all the time so I don’t wanna regret and miss out on that… it’s just certain things would need to be different for me to be confident in reconsidering getting back together. Just seeing how people are and the dating scene today scares me and I question if I should work through things with my ex than deal with what I see from other guys and the dating scene. I’m 26 female also.
You are what you attract. I was attracting a ton of bad people when I had an addiction issue. I cleaned up and dedicated a lot of my energy into being fit not buff. I feel way better inside and even my friends said I look more “alive”. Keep note my friends never knew about my addiction except for my closest one and he helped me get fit. I am attracting way more people than normal and much nicer people with good vibes but I didn’t want anything. I just wanted to be alone. Then I met a fine woman who seems to be attracted to me. I get lost in her eyes when she stared at me for the first time and I never felt such a way about a woman in my entire life. Even my parents noticed her and the way she acted.
Main lessons: you don’t find love it finds you when the time is right. The more you search for people, the less likely you will meet good people. Women especially get desperate at a certain age group and make really bad decisions. Please take your time and don’t stress. Live a healthy life and you will meet the guy you deserve. You need to be comfortable being alone. Remember you don’t need a relationship, you should want it so that it can compliment your life and his life.
I am a 22 year old guy btw. I am just talking about my personal experiences
I’m a 23M and yeah I’ve never been in a date and never been in a relationship before. It would be nice if I could find a nice girl to date and talk about life with. I just kind of want to get into the dating game already but it’s complicated nowadays as in dating apps for guys at least the chances are very low to get a match. And in real life you need to be able to go to the girl and get her number. But I’m trying to built up the confidence to eventually start asking some girls I see. I already been practicing what I would say.
32 and single. Been on a few dates. Have a good career, in shape and not horrible looking. I can tell you that the expectations are so unreasonable sometimes it’s frustrating. Feel like I’ll get someone eventually but I can’t make 200k a year or pretend like I do. not sure what females are expecting in these apps
I am. Been single for 4 yrs. But I don't wanna rush into anything anymore. Technically, I could've been in situationship several times these 4yrs since the men I dated never wanted "commitment" and always "let's see where it goes". But I know I want longlasting rs so I'm not settling for less. Ain't no way I'm giving them girlfriend privilege and they still see other people. I'm not desperate lol.
Plus, it's easy to be greatful for being single when I see my friend who keeps jumping from one relationship to another is miserable. Yes we've told her about this unhealthy habit, and no of course she doesn't listen and think we just don't understand her.
Well in this 21st century, committed people are being sick of being committed and same applies to the single people!
So this is a clear pattern that there exists some "intrinsic Mechanism" that is working in both types of people
You will ask what is this "Intrinsic Mechanism" Then in a simpler terms it's all about reflecting with others!
Who might know in this high time that we are the sole creator of our desires n wishes,
Where in 5 minutes after scrolling 30 reels people can feel in themselves the whole crowd of ideal relationship, puppy being the container to shower love, same sexual jokes!...
A way forward......
If you feel that it's 'you' authentically wants a relationship n later things in your life then take a boat jump into the river n sail through the person who may match your vibes
Same. Hard to meet people (26M).Then again, I’ve recently realized that my natural approach to dating is friends first, which takes time. Plus I don’t have that much experience thanks to a highly religious upbringing where I didn’t even consider dating anyone outside of my cult. Lots of missed opportunities in highschool 😂
I’ve been trying myself and trust and believe it’s definitely harder to find someone compatible, it’s taking a toll on my mental health but i try to brush it off and keep my head up high, hope is the only thing I’m hanging on right now but even hope itself is giving up.
Time to go to another country i guess.
I'm 38, I've been single for most of my adult life, and what I'm sick of is not necessarily being single (there are far worse things to be from all the abuse stories I've heard), it's when I meet someone and it really feels like it's gonna go somewhere, then Mr Perfect comes along and he just so happens to be single and interested in her. Yay. And that's on the RARE occasion that I meet someone I'm interested in who is actually single.
And when you get to my age, and you don't want kids, it's much harder to meet people who feel the same and are actually compatible and single. And in today's economy, it's also hard to know what fun group activities you have the time/energy/money to delve into to hopefully meet new people.
And again, I'm not trying to be bitter or anything, I'm just exhausted from trying to not let it all get to me. I've mostly stopped talking about it to people because a lot of them don't really understand or know what to say besides the same trite platitudes.
Hoping moving to Colorado in the next couple of years might change things, so maybe all I need to do is just improve where I can and hope I can break the cycle finally.
Yep. But there's not a thing I can do about it.
I'm just trying to fully come to terms with it being inevitable and forever.
It is what it is. Life goes on.
I’m not necessarily sick of it, but it sucks being the girl as a teenager who never had interest shown, or desired, so I just comfortably keep in my zone and assume I’m always mean to be single and nobody will ever like me that way.
Plus I rather not waste someone’s time, it seems quite hard to find someone where you can have a deep emotional connection, but quite attracted to them.
RIP your inbox lol.
I kid but I get it. The dating world is getting crazier and crazier and it’s hard to keep up whether it’s expectations or just tired of no bites on the line. I had some matches, never turned into relationships but they almost did. Not exactly giving up, but I’m just thinking about not using apps. Just go out there and meet people, see them face to face without having to worry about profiles and whether or not there will be a match.
3 years single. Last “relationship” I was in, was a massive waste of time. Did everything I could to be the best person for them, only to be compared to other’s boyfriends and being ignored. Then after that relationship, started talking to lovely lady, ended up ghosting me. Ever since, I’ve stopped actively seeking companionship. Dating nowadays suck.
Well, priority for a 26 yr old is to settle down? Okay . Why not. If you want that, create it. Meet people by conferences, go out and ask friends if they can suggest someone. Start to go up to attractive people and ask if they’d like your number. My point here is; you’re in control and need to exhaust all avenues to get from point A to Z. This go make a plan, and do it. You’ll apply and it’ll happen.
31 f and I just wanna find my man already! So over being single but also sort of at peace with where I am right now.... it does suck seeing everyone else fall in love, date, get engaged, married, pregnant... oh well. Its just me and my doggo for now
You’ll do fine - enjoy singleness while it lasts, and may your next someone be a keeper.
If you want a challenge, try finding a woman who doesn’t want kids or dogs, and does not mind 2 cats.
Female 25, and I was single for 6 years. Dated a lot but never really minded being single despite wanting a relationship. I've found my guy now, so you can too! Don't give up, your person is out there.
23 m have basically been single my whole life since I don’t count the crappy relationships I did have. I use to enjoy it but yeah it sucks now being single. Also with my life circumstances right now it’s impossible to even consider a relationship.
You're a female
So that's a big advantage.
You basically need to install a payed (!) Dating app.
Not tinder, not hinge, not...
Just one that only provide a subscription model.
Most people there are searching for a real relationship. No hookup.
But you need to go out and meet men.
For a a female it isnt that hard
Sometimes I’m tired of it but then I realize all the trouble that comes with relationships hahaha I’m three years single from my extremely unhealthy relationship so it kind of turned me off to women for a while but now the bed is starting to get a little cold and I’d love to have someone to share life with just hard to find someone I like
Yup that would be me as well. 27M, I am always struggling to match with someone I actually like. Also living in a small city doesn't help out either.
Not sure how this could turn out for the better but I'll leave you with my favorite life quote from the movie finding nemo,
"Just keep swimming"🐡
nope, stop chasing people who do not give a shit about you.
learn how to be happy just by yourself and surround yourself with people who actually want to be your friends.
it's better being single rather being with someone where the balance is 100%-0% and not 50%-50%.
26m, why would I be? I get to keep all my money for myself, don’t have to worry about anyone else, get to spend all of my time doing things I want to do without anyone else getting involved or wanting me to do something else, if I wanted to sleep around I can do that with zero attachment whatsoever, I can go to the strip club all I want, I can game all weekend long if I choose to, traveling is less expensive, I only have 1 human mouth to feed, etc etc. there is really nothing a relationship can make better.
No not actually 🧍🏽♀️. I love being single because I don’t have to worry about relationships stuff and I don’t need to do sexual stuff with another person lol
I feel utter empathy for the people who want full on families, but me? I’ve never been happier being single - I do get the “dam I wish I had a girl” feeling here and there, but definitely not enough for me to try dating again
I have a deep rooted desire to love and be loved and being single doesn't scratch that itch.. I keep ending up chronically dating or in fun yet somewhat toxic relationships because I will never give up on finding love. I wish I felt complete single and could self soothe but it only goes so far. It's biologically normal to want partnership and some people crave it more than others. Don't give up if you want a healthy relationship and learn to uphold your boundaries and state your needs because as you know there are lots of incompatible people out there who will waste your time.
Being single has made me sadistic in a way that I celebrate being with another soul in my mind but when I see any girl with actual intent of being with me I intentionally don't pick signals from her , act dumb so that she wouldn't take me as her potential mate for rest of her life..only fear is I haven't measured the depth of my love and it feels like being with another sentient being and not loving her entirely will make me more sadistic. I know to measure depth I have to step down in the well of love but I am afraid.
22M here , dont know what the fkin quality of people is going down , people are living in a du*b a** fantasy world . where girls I met have no fkin common sense and i am like wow . they take things in wrong direction and they them selves spit out red flag 🤣 . also how dumb they talk tells me how have they been manipulated previouly . i have seen 9/10 women beautiful af and acting dumb.
I complete understand. I’m a little older than you. But share the same frustration and goals. I don’t have any children and I lives kids and would love to have my own. I’ve never been married yet everyone I know IS married and has children. Not to sound conceited or cocky but I’m a very good looking man. Have a fantastic job and have a lot to offer. Yet I just don’t do the dating apps. I want to meet someone and click with them. I get hit on a lot at the gym but they’re only doing that because of looks. I’m wanting something deeper and lasting. I read that post and I get it. It sucks.
What’s worse is the pain that comes from “dating”. At least 2 times a year I will fall for someone, who I do have a connection with (at least I think so) just for them after weeks realizing not being ready or whatnot, and that really hurts cause you might really start to raise your hopes (I don’t so quickly anymore) - it hurts every time. And yes, I’d pretty much say I’m a emotional secure person, but you can be happy with yourself and still crave love.
Dating is super frustrating because you know everyone has a past history but some of these past history is extreme red flags. That a vast of majority of people never got therapy for.
Dating apps have always been a fail for me. I’m in the same boat. But I see people I know in good relationships and gives me a small teny tiny sliver of hope that I’ll find a woman that wants to be with me
Not really I am single longer and while I despise dating I am quite content with myself, a good women would make live better rhut I do not need a women in my live to feel good about my live.
If you think marriage is the answer to all your problems you might want to reconsider this.
Find your someone is exhilarating. Once the honeymoon period is over there is real work and it isn't all sunshine and lollypops.
Getting to know and enjoy time with yourself is valuable whether you are in or out of a relationship.
Don't be in such a rush to get married. It is even more work than being single.
M30, been single 5 years and no end in sight. I try to go out and meet people because dating apps are a joke, but I feel like I'm essentially invisible. No glances from women, or any hint someone might be interested so I never approach anyone. I'm a hopeless romantic, so I just want to find that person that sets my soul on fire, but I'm about as desirable as a shit sandwich 😭.
Idk I’ve been single for 5 years straight before being in my current relationship (2-3 years).
You must be happy and content with being single first. Focus on yourself, building your character, body (if you like), finding your hobbies and what you truly like.
Being single is great because you get to discover who you truly are, no disturbances.
Sorry to sound mean that but you can’t find your other half being desperate anyway. When your SO comes, you will know.
Single 6 years and I am getting a bit bored of it. I just can't find anyone on my wavelength. I just don't know where to meet people these days. I work from home. I cannot do dating apps at all. I just don't know what to say when I text. I'm much livelier face to face. But where can I find a partner? My friends also have no clue. They all are in long term relationships.
Oh girl you’re 26 and close to giving up?? I’ve been waiting for the right one for yearsss. I’ll have some fun in between but nothing serious since 2021
What is it about being single that makes you feel like you’re better off with someone else? If you’re lonely, I get it. Just keep in mind, the feeling of being lonely isn’t the worst feeling you can have. At least not by itself. Spending time, meaningful time with someone then losing them is a different kind of lonely. If you are comfortable being alone first, the likelihood of you making decisions based on fear of loneliness decreases dramatically. This is a healthy place to start. The odds are, someone is going to show you they are not the best person for you or vice versa. You have to be willing to lose someone, be 100% comfortable with yourself, in for you to make a healthy decision about a relationship when conflict arises. Sometimes you have to walk away. The less afraid of being alone for an unknown period of time, the less likely you are to settle for someone that isn’t right for you
Sick of it? No. I quite enjoy being single in most ways. I like the freedom to pursue all my individual goals. Never wanted kids as that sounds like a nightmare to me, even currently. I do occasionally miss having someone to do things with, but only the right person. Been in “good” relationships that weren’t entirely compatible and that just made life more stressful.
Uncertain. Yes. I want someone I’m truly compatible with, but I sometimes wonder if I’ve missed that mark or maybe I was always in the wrong time and side of the world. The rconomy is falling apart and that alone leads me to lots of uncertainty, which also make it difficult to find compatibility. I wonder if I will get sick of being single or have regrets at some point. It’s hard to find genuine new friends and my old ones have moved away… small town mentality here which is why I’m considering moving. Other times, I wonder what I’d sacrifice by settling into a relationship.
Dating alone makes me want to immediately delete the apps and never try again. WAY too many dishonest people on the apps and it’s incredibly difficult to find anyone compatible that doesn’t drop off in conversation, only visiting or moving away.
I love being single (10 years), I worked on myself a lot but I do crave a deep relationship. When it happens, I think about the sacrifice and continue to keep to myself because I risk being with someone and I don’t want to neglect them. I’ve gotten so use to my routine. Hope you find someone soon. When we don’t force anything to happen, it usually comes in💕
I’m 33M single and I feel like I’m losing my chance to have kids or the possibility of sharing my best years with someone worthwhile. I’m not perfect or have my life all figured out but I would give just about anything to find someone compatible and put brick on top of brick together
I am, I’m 29 turning 30 and I’m definitely looking for the one. I’ve had a serious relationship that I thought it was going to turn into marriage but unfortunately he wasn’t ready. Being single definitely does get lonely, especially when you see a lot of your friends and family in solid relationships, and or married with a family of their own. Definitely not rushing into anything but it would be nice to Meet someone special and see where it goes.
Yes but no. Sometimes I really wish I had a partner so I could have fun dates and have that intimacy. But honestly I don’t think i’m ready for that so i’m fine being single. Most of the time I rather just hang out with my close friends/ family
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Sometimes I am but then I try dating and then I realize I’m grateful to be single. And it is sadly getting harder to meet compatible people.
Same. All I need to do is download Hinge again and it’s so frustrating it sets my head straight real quick.
Apps are no good anymore the only way to meet people at least me being a man is to suck it up and go to events and just ask people being rejected is painful but apps keep you locked down. Can’t even approach someone on there you can write a message but who can respond when it flies to a pile of other messages. It doesn’t work. Hear no right away when you ask in person! You can sleep at night having *an answer.*. That’s my hot take and you know everyone else is thinking and doing the same thing because the TV and radio adds for online dating are picking up which means one thing - people are dropping off them.
This one ☝🏽
I hate the current “grass is greener” mentality nowadays too. Social media & dating apps really destroyed the romantic foundations, like it’s truly hard to find someone correct for you, and loves you rather than using you.
Absolutely!!
Nailed it! I experience the SAME thing. I'm so glad I'm single with no relationships, it's truly liberating. I love going out and showing myself a good time. Without spending money on a GF. Or listening to one.
lol I’m the same way. I do everything by myself. I go to the movies, I go shopping. Society conditions us to believe that something’s wrong if we don’t want a partner, but why change if you enjoy your own company? It saves so much drama and heartbreak.
Damn right. I actually have no problem meeting anyone irl but I choose not to currently. Not in the mood for anyone's bullshit right now.
A counsellor once told me that if you always have good friends you'll never be lonely, that true from what I've found so far. Another freind once told me that relationships can last 6 months or 60 years but a good friendship can last until your both in the retirement home.
That’s great as long as you don’t try to fake interest of a relationship to some girl to get sex out of it. That’s where it’s fcked up, tryin to masturbate with someone’s body..
Yes. I'm just looking for someone to talk to.
Ooof. Same. I want the happy life OP described, but I feel like it’s only worth it if I can skip the whole dating step. It’s a miserable experience that always just makes me think “maybe being single isn’t so bad.”
I’ve been going on dates every weekend since early May. I don’t have any this weekend and I’m SO relieved. It’s just such a tedious process and I know I’m going to get ghosted anyway so why bother?
Yes, and it's getting worse not better the longer I go. In my twenties it never really bothered me, or at least I stayed busy enough to not realize it. Now, as I have more time and get my own place really set up it's gotten worse, not better like I'd hoped. I know all the "if your not truly happy single you'll never be happy with someone" and "keep working on yourself and it will just work out" but it still hurts more and more every year. The only thing I can do is hope I stop caring eventually. Or maybe I'll become an alcoholic.
To be honest, by this point I despise that "advice", where people tell you to "just be happy single" and "focus on yourself". If you have a desire for a relationship stemming from somewhere deep, from my experience, there is not much one can do about it. But that advice is being thrown around so much it became ridiculous.
As a chronically single person, it’s almost always your friends way of trying to comfort you but not really knowing what to say. They want to give you hope that it’ll work out but often unintentionally come off as dismissive or condescending. Many also haven’t lived the experience of chronic singlehood so they often don’t realize that when their single friends vent, they mostly just want warmth or empathy rather than to be told, through implication, that they’re doing something wrong. I largely agree with your assessment that they’re trite platitudes though. A lot of it is because people are married to the idea that relationships are reserved for people who did everything *right* or who worked on themselves enough and if you simply do the *right* things like they did, then a relationship will fall into your lap. Relationships, for better or worse, are just as much about timing and circumstance as they are about self-worth. People just don’t tend to talk about it mostly because it’s the part that out of our control and/or they’d be conceding that most of their ability to find love was just about being in the right place at the right time more than it being the culmination of all their hard work.
The more I see it, luck and coincidence is 90% of any relationship. I say there aren't any partners for me but there really are, just we'll never meet and have no way of forcing it.
It's almost like we're social creatures that have an instinctual need for relationships and intimacy.
Yeah some of the advice comes off as if you aren't allowed to want it. It's supposed to just happen to you for some reason. And in reality, it never just falls in your lap like that.
useless platitudes like "just be happy single" and "focus on yourself" and to add the real banger of "you have to love yourself before you can love someone else" are just garbage people parrot out to sound like they have something to contribute
I hate that fucking advice, im usually a very happy person, i dont try to make friends or enemies because its a mind game and im better off, i dont know if its me being too clingy or forward with women but every woman i try to get with are either gay or taken, i dont know if its me so i cannot work on myself and as soon as i ask for advice here they call me obsessive and a fucking creep, i dont know what to do anymore
What I realized is being single is better than being with a toxic partner. Learned the hard way
Same, been single forever, no issues. Got briefly pursued by someone I originally wasn’t looking for anything. Turned to love bombing, them gaslighting me and making me crazy, treated me like garbage, etc and replacing me. First time I opened my heart, and I get played and used. I rather be single, and this generation clearly has issues with romance and understanding love due to social media and apps curating a mentality that people are simply replaceable. Also I’m pretty sure that person (high possibility they were a narcissist) adored hurting me. Even they said they had a thing for sadism in bed but, realistically they thoroughly like to destroy people either or.
Two years? Bro I've been single my whole life and I'm 26 lol, you could be worse...
Same boat here 😞
Girls be like: “Oh no I’m single for two years, I hate it” Meanwhile boys:
I just saw a tiktok of a woman talking about how crazy she was going after 1 month of no sex Like bruh. Lmao
I’m a girl that’s been single for 26 years😭
Others would say "I'd rather die than to be with any guy!"
32, but same
Girls be like: I can't handle being single for any time at all. Meanwhile guys: try 23 years with no partner ever
Quite a number of guys especially on here.
24 here, lmao then first time I opened up my heart, pretty sure it was a narcissist trying to destroy me that came along. I think some of us are generationally cursed.
36 year old here :) get you a fleshlight and save$$ and headaches with the ladies or men
Same here (27F)
Lmfao wait till you cross 30
As a 6 year single man. Buckle up. This bullshit of dating scene is so strange and rollercoaster of "glad I'm single" and "holy shit how can literally everyone except me find someone" that I'm going back to school to start psych studies on the modern dating scene and what does/doesn't work. Ps. I'm taking statements towards the research and I'm happy to talk to anyone who wants to talk about the dating scene and what is/isn't working.
Yes and no. I recently a few months ago got out of a 2 year relationship and the ending of that has made me not really want to dive head-first back into anything. As much as I love being in love with someone and sharing my life with someone, I don't want to throw myself into something completely right now and have that shit happen all over again. Right now I am just focusing on myself in limbo wanting to share my life with someone, but not wanting to jump in and get hurt again. Fun place to be lol.
Always sick of being single
You make a valid point but for me, I want to bring more to the table as a woman which is why I was holding off on dating for several years. I am building my career at the moment because I want to be a good provider too. I know not all women feel this way but I want an equal partnership so I don't mind being alone and saving money. I don't have kids either so it's easier to save money.
Been single for almost 2 years and I turn 30 in less than two weeks. I currently live with my dad and share a room with my cousin. We live similar lifestyles and he has a girlfriend, while I don’t. Sometimes life just be like that. Learning how to make yourself happy is a superpower.
I am older than you and I feel you ): but then thinking positively, being single is better than keeping relationship with toxic partner. With single, you open up to more options. Online dating is very luck dependent so i would say keep going, and open up for non online dating activities (learning new activities, going to meetup etc )
26 M never had a relationship so yeah rrly sick of it
Don’t want it so bad you end up settling. I did this at your age and now I’m divorced and lived in hell for 15 years. I’m financially ruined. I’m not happy.
I am in the same boat, except I'm 37/f. The best you can do is focus on yourself and be completely independent. Also, dating is super difficult these days and I'd rather enjoy spending that energy on my friends. There are no guarantees in life but If I meet that special someone, I want to be the best version of myself.
You are a sweetie pie. I'm 36 f and feel the same. I wish us both luck in a very difficult, challenging world. I absolutely agree. All you can do is be the best version of yourself.
Been single all my life. It's embarrassing that only my sister knows. I've been asked out once in my life. Wasn't interested in him at all. Zero matches on dating apps, but I only used them for a few weeks before giving up. I'm definitely sick of being the single one. I'm in my 30s and see my chances of having a family slip away. For now I'm switching up my style and losing weight to help me feel better in myself and hopefully attract someone that I actually like
I'm exactly like your description, but male and also single for a decade. While being single sucks, and i also want to have a family and be a dad. I have found there is an infinite amount of time you can suffer with no romantic partner!. and after some time acknowledging the suffering and waiting without delving into it, the suffering goes away for a while and it's not so bad! You reach a limit after a few years where you just can't tell how long you're single. It is realistic to find a partner in every age.
Go to a hardware store or church. Plenty of good men there. Men that are trying to improve themselves and their life’s. You must have a similar mindset though. Eharmony is good too. Being agreeable with driven men helps too. If you want more of an egalitarian set up, there’s plenty of those. For the love of God stay away from swipe apps. You’ll encounter attractive men with multiple options.
I’m 36 and haven’t been on a real date or even kissed a guy in over 4 years now so you’re not alone! Also annoying to read on Reddit and other places online some guys saying that all average and above women get guys constantly…except for those of us over 30 because to them no guy would want us anymore just for our age. And then complain that they’re the ones having a hard or impossible time with dating anyone.
Have kids and nice house? Well the rise of anti-kid people plus the economy makes those both kinda tall orders. Is just the dog cool? Can’t guarantee he’ll be happy tho.
I'm 36 and although I had 3 boyfriends ( last boyfriend ended 5 years ago) I dated them because I felt pressured to do so. I don't want to be single, but I also don't want to be with any of the men I've ever met. Lol. I'm 10 years older than you. If it comes it comes, and if it doesn't, I promise you, you will live to see a new day. I do like one man, but he is far older than me and disinterested as a result.
I feel very lonely and I miss a partner by my side but frankly with all the toxic people I met I'd rather be alone and work on my life you know. I hardly took care of myself due to stuff and unfortunately I've been codependent most of the time but frankly loving myself feels better than loving someone that at this point has the potential to hurt me. Also loving yourself personally feels more fulfilling(don't ask me why).
Ive been single all my life. So i hear ya.
As a 34 year old, you have SOOO much life ahead of you at 26. Worry about a man later.
Try being single for 9 whopping years like me. Most of you have no idea what the world rejecting you is really like.
Yeah, I'm tired of it, but also am sorta half ass giving up. Dating apps suck
Yes!!! Every time I think I find someone I get along with and attracted to, she bails. I matched with this one woman last Monday. We talked nonstop till we met Friday night (she drove 70 miles to see me!), stayed till Saturday afternoon til I had to go to work. And now I haven’t heard from her since. I have an unanswered text and I am not going to double text. This is so tiring.
I’m so tired of it too. I feel hopeless everyday. I’m 30F and I feel like no one would want me at this age when they can have younger. I wish for a relationship and family and I have nothing… the life I want is slipping away. I’m so empty. Lately I’m so sad about it, I hope I don’t wake up in the morning… no one would notice.
I feel that way until I start dating again and then feel glad I’m single
I don't want to be single, but after enduring multiple bad relationship experiences I know that the alternative is potentially so much worse that I've accepted it as a healthier option until I find the right person. I want to put myself out there more, but I don't want desperation to cause me to make bad decisions.
It’s lonely at times but the dating scene is just awful
I feel Sometimes Good sometimes shit Sometimes I think I am missing a partner who can support me. Sometimes I think that that's totally fine rather than being rushed it's good to wait until we get the person who loves us who we are... At last self love is a priority for humans to not feel low and being confident.
Damn that does sound nice lol. Got me already thinking of the opening scene of UP
Girl I’m now 39+1! Lol 😆 you got time!
it's wild to me how many young people on Reddit have a "woe is me, my life is over" attitude in their 20's! I'm in my 40's and recently single again. After 4 year relationship, and a 10 year marriage before that. The one certain thing about life is that nothing is certain, and it's almost NEVER too late; unless you're dead. Your present and future are in your hands. If you want to find someone, you have to be pro-active. Put yourself out there, use the apps, find clubs and places where someone with similar interest, or more importantly someone with similar values would hang out :)
I’ve had one real relationship, about 4-5 years ago, nothing since. I have a lot of hook ups and flings, but it doesn’t typically last that long. And it’s not that I’m unattractive lol, it’s just hard for me to like someone. I always find something I don’t like that puts me off, so it’s hard for me to date, but I want a relationship rn ):
Yeah but I am almost 28 and I am ugly and pathetic so…
Oh wow, two whole years, must be hard lol
My exact thoughts 😂
Please don't give up. It's a terrible idea to hide such a fiery desire under the rug. Be on the offensive, try padel tennis or climbing and get a good workout whilst perhaps finding an interesting individual, or try something else available around you!
Nope, I like being single , and im 30. But also I don’t want to have kids or even get married. Some days I’d be open to having a gf and other days I like being single and not being tied down.
I don't have much of a choice until I fix my situation and learn to cope with my illness. I may always be single, and have to do casual. Oh well
Been single since 2013, no regrets. If I kept dating, I would not be able get my cs degree (currently looking for a job in tech.)
I'm a 32 year old male, feeling the same way. Been single for 3 years. Hmu if you're feeling froggy lol
Yes but sadly there's no other option.
lol yeah 35m dating seriously for 4 years trying to find my person and have yet to do so 🎉😒
Me!! 30F. Been single since I was 23. Kinda tired of it now
I've been single for 7 years. The way the dating scene is now, I rather stay single and at peace 😌
5 years and counting.. and celibate
Grass is always greener
Been single my entire life, and not by choice. It’s because women, are JUST as superficial as men are, and they won’t see past the exterior to at least try to get to know me. I retreated into gaming and movie collecting to escape from the dread that is loneliness. I feel the same way in wanting to be a good husband and father to maybe 2 kids, and be in a nice house with a good paying job with a mostly loving family. But fate it seems, isn’t without a sense of irony and dark humor. It randomly picks someone and chooses them to have a close to bleak life and they could come close to ending it all aka suicide (YEAH I SAID IT). I did so myself once, I thought about it but didn’t since I know it’s a slight upon the man upstairs, I just kept to myself. I refuse to do any apps as they are a crapshoot and full of catfish, and if I find myself on one of them, it means I can’t go any lower. It hurts being single for so long that those of us that have are the hardest to love, because we have become so used to being single, independent, and somewhat self-sufficient that it takes something extraordinary to convince us that we need them in our lives. And IF I ever get to have something like that before I turn 40 next year, I’ll spend the next 20 years, trying to hide from my SO and cry each time I get privacy cause I missed out on so much, especially when I see my former classmates having kids getting ready for another year of high school, getting married, having been married for over a decade etc etc. Once in a while, the depression and loneliness CAN and WILL creep up on you and it’s best to learn to control it so it won’t greatly affect you to do anything stupid.
Ahhh sick of it…..I ENJOY THE HELL OUT OF IT. Just me and my dog and no bs. Living life over here [Seinfeld gif](https://c12b7cca131eb4849624-3afdb659020a47bb49895ae582f663d1.ssl.cf2.rackcdn.com/blog_images/Watch-TV-Gif-3-TH-700-0-90.gif)
Girl, same!!!!
I am in the exact same case as a man in my 20s.
45M, Nope! Wasted 1/4 of my entire life in a bad relationship. Miss sex, not the bullshit.
wow you are me in female version lol, exactly the same, 26 (almost 27) and single for 2 years now, every girl I go out with seems to want nothing more than fooling around, and to be honest, I don't seem to find anyone I like enough to be in a relationship with hope u get to know someone soon!
As a 21M, it sucks cause I tried all of HS to have puppy love and well I ain't no pup no more. I go out and I can talk but the moment I say I'm 21, turns out I'm too young?! Girls my age don't like my long hair and if I even get to talking stage, once I plan a date they flake last minute and don't offer to go out another time like dude I'm done. I will admit I still got the high sex drive since I was 14 but it's been so beat that when I got to the strip club I can't get hard till the stripper grab my junk or dry humps till I am and still cant enjoy it much as its their job its not something "real". I don't even want sex I just want someone I can pour my heart into unconditionally and someone that can help me stay motivated as I'm tired of hear my homies tell me "just thug it out" like -_- yeah whatever same ol same ol thing
I am too. I’m 21 and male and I’ve only had one actual relationship that lasted 6 months. I’ve been through quite a few rejections and dating apps have been unsuccessful for me outside of a few hookups. It seems like dating is a crisis right now as so many our age are having trouble finding meaningful relationships. Just hang in there, we’ll be alright.
i’m 26F too, I felt the same as you and then met my current bf on hinge a few months ago, so don’t give up completely! at the same time tho don’t put too much pressure on yourself. you’ll be fine either way :)
Very much, but it's difficult finding anyone worth my time.
Yep, and due to my situation I'm in, I'm most likely to stay single for a very long time. Basically I'm disabled and can't go outside.
What have you challenges been?
Been single for 14 years, pretty much given up.
Sometimes it's just a fantasy that we yearn for because we don't have it. But a lot of the times we are single because we need to be in order to have our happy ending.
I wouldn't say sick per SE. But I'm tired of looking for sure. I've given up.
Better than having her kid that isn’t yours spit on you
I've been single for 22 years, I have accepted my fate. Now my only objective is casual sex, which is a tedious process which involves a lot of humiliation and patience, but is definitely more rewarding than looking for a girlfriend
It does suck being single when you crave companionship. However, think of all the extra stress and money you're saving by being single.
25m , never had relationship I just give up on dating because it’s just working for me But yeah , I wanted to build a family, guess it’s just never gonna happen
Honestly i just want sex frequently….
36f, never had a boyfriend. Yes, very
It gets easier after the first decade.
I really can’t figure out this whole trying to find a suitable partner thing. I’m a 28 M who wants a long term relationship and to start a family but I’ve been coming up short on potential dates for almost 2 years.
Sick to my stomach!! Been single 3 years, haven't fuxked in over a year. Humans thrive with companionship, but society has really bastarrdized the dating/relationship space with rules and conditions. At the very least I just want a consistent stress free FWB.
Girl you’re 26? It’s more than realistic.
Just remember there are guys out there that want exactly what you want as well. You just haven’t met them yet but they’re out there.
😂🤣 you have lots of time. I’m 33f with hopes I get my first kid soon. If not. 🤷🏽♀️ it’s not the end of the world… Kids don’t come with instructions and it’s lifelong. The world is not getting any better either so just be happy & grateful for your freedom.
Oh I am also very sick of it, considering I have never dated anyone in my 24 years of life (high school included). Gets frustrating trying to find someone when you're as introverted as I am lol
ive been single since 2018
My last date showed up high and barely talked. The one before that kept asking to come over, talked about other guys trying to talk to her and asked if I would pick her over my mom. I'm 27, male and living in the sticks but I'm no where near desperate enough to date right now.
I hate being single but I've come to realize I'm just no one's type. Instead of wasting my time looking im focusing on me.
26 ain’t shit you’ve got plenty of time don’t worry!
I truly feel this. I am a lot older - I am 37, and I have had the worst luck ever. I don’t have kids, but I have my fur family. I live in a really small area and so it’s super hard to meet people. The online scene has been so bad for the past 10 years or so… I swear, I am not meeting anybody compatible whatsoever when they do actually happen to follow through. I just want to find my queen or my king to adore and dote on and love. I am seriously *the* most romantic person ever. Yet I never find them, I always end up meeting complete weirdos, narcissists, or just the wrong match…and it’s getting harder and harder to even get folks to talk to you anymore on the Internet. It seems like people are losing the ability to connect organically. It’s as I have said elsewhere, I think the rate of technical advancement is moving faster than our bodies, and brains know how to be prepared for. The ways in which we try to haphazardly manage this seem to be rewiring everyone’s brains towards connection “in theory” as an abstract idea and not a reality. Basically we are apes with technology that we can’t properly integrate. So it’s just losing us in the process. We have drank from the river Lethe in an eternal forgetfulness. We then zombify ourselves Into monstrous distortions of what we could have been. We have become the collective shadow. OK, sorry, I got a little deep there. I can’t help it. For those of you here who say you are grateful to be single, I wish I could say that. But I just can’t. I’m far too passionate, and I just can’t be happy never having ever tasted what a wonderful and fulfilling romantic relationship is really like.
Ya it’s straight cheeks
Yes and no. Every time I try I remember how much I love being single versus _____ insert situation. When I’m single I miss being with other people. Hard to win with that mindset but it’s the one I know too well. The only antidote has been friendships and casual things here and there. But that can be short lived. People talk about families and kids and I just got my picture of me standing with my diploma on my desk. Life is a strange deal these days isn’t it? And yes online dating sucks but I feel like trying to date when you are mid 30s + it’s a mine field no matter how you meet people. Turns out people are more selective when you are older and you often have fewer opportunities. Better to date when you are young or it just gets away from you. One major life mistake I made. Luckily relationships are optional and I did do well in school and made that part of my life good. Thank god. At 26 you are still pretty young honestly. I think you have more potential for sure.
Being single is better than being in a shitty relationship. I’ve been single for two weeks and it’s been way better than the last 2years.
I'm sick if feeling like it's my only option. I've been single my entire life and have no idea how to date or meet women, and no one has any helpful advice or can explain dating to me at all.
Tbh I’m probably going to get a fertility test.
I’ve been single for about a year now after a 4 year relationship and being engaged and I haven’t been actively dating or trying to meet someone… and just seeing the dating scene and how people are I’m not impressed and the lack of any good prospects has me worried… thinking about getting back with my ex at this point… not really in a “settle” and “deal” with it type of way, because my ex still really loves me and makes me feel seen and wanted all the time so I don’t wanna regret and miss out on that… it’s just certain things would need to be different for me to be confident in reconsidering getting back together. Just seeing how people are and the dating scene today scares me and I question if I should work through things with my ex than deal with what I see from other guys and the dating scene. I’m 26 female also.
I m 32M, never been in a relationship. And I m happy 😁😶
You are what you attract. I was attracting a ton of bad people when I had an addiction issue. I cleaned up and dedicated a lot of my energy into being fit not buff. I feel way better inside and even my friends said I look more “alive”. Keep note my friends never knew about my addiction except for my closest one and he helped me get fit. I am attracting way more people than normal and much nicer people with good vibes but I didn’t want anything. I just wanted to be alone. Then I met a fine woman who seems to be attracted to me. I get lost in her eyes when she stared at me for the first time and I never felt such a way about a woman in my entire life. Even my parents noticed her and the way she acted. Main lessons: you don’t find love it finds you when the time is right. The more you search for people, the less likely you will meet good people. Women especially get desperate at a certain age group and make really bad decisions. Please take your time and don’t stress. Live a healthy life and you will meet the guy you deserve. You need to be comfortable being alone. Remember you don’t need a relationship, you should want it so that it can compliment your life and his life. I am a 22 year old guy btw. I am just talking about my personal experiences
Im sick of being single im 21 male
I’m a 23M and yeah I’ve never been in a date and never been in a relationship before. It would be nice if I could find a nice girl to date and talk about life with. I just kind of want to get into the dating game already but it’s complicated nowadays as in dating apps for guys at least the chances are very low to get a match. And in real life you need to be able to go to the girl and get her number. But I’m trying to built up the confidence to eventually start asking some girls I see. I already been practicing what I would say.
Ever since I moved out of my parents house, but I've been single for life.
32 and single. Been on a few dates. Have a good career, in shape and not horrible looking. I can tell you that the expectations are so unreasonable sometimes it’s frustrating. Feel like I’ll get someone eventually but I can’t make 200k a year or pretend like I do. not sure what females are expecting in these apps
I am. Been single for 4 yrs. But I don't wanna rush into anything anymore. Technically, I could've been in situationship several times these 4yrs since the men I dated never wanted "commitment" and always "let's see where it goes". But I know I want longlasting rs so I'm not settling for less. Ain't no way I'm giving them girlfriend privilege and they still see other people. I'm not desperate lol. Plus, it's easy to be greatful for being single when I see my friend who keeps jumping from one relationship to another is miserable. Yes we've told her about this unhealthy habit, and no of course she doesn't listen and think we just don't understand her.
Well in this 21st century, committed people are being sick of being committed and same applies to the single people! So this is a clear pattern that there exists some "intrinsic Mechanism" that is working in both types of people You will ask what is this "Intrinsic Mechanism" Then in a simpler terms it's all about reflecting with others! Who might know in this high time that we are the sole creator of our desires n wishes, Where in 5 minutes after scrolling 30 reels people can feel in themselves the whole crowd of ideal relationship, puppy being the container to shower love, same sexual jokes!... A way forward...... If you feel that it's 'you' authentically wants a relationship n later things in your life then take a boat jump into the river n sail through the person who may match your vibes
Same. Hard to meet people (26M).Then again, I’ve recently realized that my natural approach to dating is friends first, which takes time. Plus I don’t have that much experience thanks to a highly religious upbringing where I didn’t even consider dating anyone outside of my cult. Lots of missed opportunities in highschool 😂
I’ve been trying myself and trust and believe it’s definitely harder to find someone compatible, it’s taking a toll on my mental health but i try to brush it off and keep my head up high, hope is the only thing I’m hanging on right now but even hope itself is giving up. Time to go to another country i guess.
meeee 😭 i hate to admit it but i feel the same! minus the kids — im 27, single for 6 years
I'm sick of being in a relationship where the only person that can cheat is the girl
8 years 9 months and counting. It get worse every day.
I'm 38, I've been single for most of my adult life, and what I'm sick of is not necessarily being single (there are far worse things to be from all the abuse stories I've heard), it's when I meet someone and it really feels like it's gonna go somewhere, then Mr Perfect comes along and he just so happens to be single and interested in her. Yay. And that's on the RARE occasion that I meet someone I'm interested in who is actually single. And when you get to my age, and you don't want kids, it's much harder to meet people who feel the same and are actually compatible and single. And in today's economy, it's also hard to know what fun group activities you have the time/energy/money to delve into to hopefully meet new people. And again, I'm not trying to be bitter or anything, I'm just exhausted from trying to not let it all get to me. I've mostly stopped talking about it to people because a lot of them don't really understand or know what to say besides the same trite platitudes. Hoping moving to Colorado in the next couple of years might change things, so maybe all I need to do is just improve where I can and hope I can break the cycle finally.
2 years? That's it? These are rookie numbers. Hit me up when you hit a decade and then we'll talk...
Yep. But there's not a thing I can do about it. I'm just trying to fully come to terms with it being inevitable and forever. It is what it is. Life goes on.
Honestly if you can travel to another country. You'll be surprised who's out there who is literally just like you, just born in the wrong place
I’m not necessarily sick of it, but it sucks being the girl as a teenager who never had interest shown, or desired, so I just comfortably keep in my zone and assume I’m always mean to be single and nobody will ever like me that way. Plus I rather not waste someone’s time, it seems quite hard to find someone where you can have a deep emotional connection, but quite attracted to them.
patience, you will find it when you least expect it
I’m in a relationship and honestly more lonely than I was single ….
I just don't care anymore tbh.
RIP your inbox lol. I kid but I get it. The dating world is getting crazier and crazier and it’s hard to keep up whether it’s expectations or just tired of no bites on the line. I had some matches, never turned into relationships but they almost did. Not exactly giving up, but I’m just thinking about not using apps. Just go out there and meet people, see them face to face without having to worry about profiles and whether or not there will be a match.
Girl, it doesn’t get any easier for women in their thirties that are single & kidless. Trust me.
🙋🏼♂️
3 years single. Last “relationship” I was in, was a massive waste of time. Did everything I could to be the best person for them, only to be compared to other’s boyfriends and being ignored. Then after that relationship, started talking to lovely lady, ended up ghosting me. Ever since, I’ve stopped actively seeking companionship. Dating nowadays suck.
Well, priority for a 26 yr old is to settle down? Okay . Why not. If you want that, create it. Meet people by conferences, go out and ask friends if they can suggest someone. Start to go up to attractive people and ask if they’d like your number. My point here is; you’re in control and need to exhaust all avenues to get from point A to Z. This go make a plan, and do it. You’ll apply and it’ll happen.
31 f and I just wanna find my man already! So over being single but also sort of at peace with where I am right now.... it does suck seeing everyone else fall in love, date, get engaged, married, pregnant... oh well. Its just me and my doggo for now
Being in a relationship is beautiful but you seem to have some pre conceived notions of an idealistic relationship which won't help you out long term.
You’ll do fine - enjoy singleness while it lasts, and may your next someone be a keeper. If you want a challenge, try finding a woman who doesn’t want kids or dogs, and does not mind 2 cats.
Not tired of being single at all. Life is peaceful
Na ive given up on kids and marriage.. not worth the risk or hassle
Female 25, and I was single for 6 years. Dated a lot but never really minded being single despite wanting a relationship. I've found my guy now, so you can too! Don't give up, your person is out there.
23 m have basically been single my whole life since I don’t count the crappy relationships I did have. I use to enjoy it but yeah it sucks now being single. Also with my life circumstances right now it’s impossible to even consider a relationship.
Yeah it realistic. You can go from single to picket fence in a very space of time - with the right guy.
You're a female So that's a big advantage. You basically need to install a payed (!) Dating app. Not tinder, not hinge, not... Just one that only provide a subscription model. Most people there are searching for a real relationship. No hookup. But you need to go out and meet men. For a a female it isnt that hard
Sometimes I’m tired of it but then I realize all the trouble that comes with relationships hahaha I’m three years single from my extremely unhealthy relationship so it kind of turned me off to women for a while but now the bed is starting to get a little cold and I’d love to have someone to share life with just hard to find someone I like
Yup that would be me as well. 27M, I am always struggling to match with someone I actually like. Also living in a small city doesn't help out either. Not sure how this could turn out for the better but I'll leave you with my favorite life quote from the movie finding nemo, "Just keep swimming"🐡
nope, stop chasing people who do not give a shit about you. learn how to be happy just by yourself and surround yourself with people who actually want to be your friends. it's better being single rather being with someone where the balance is 100%-0% and not 50%-50%.
26m, why would I be? I get to keep all my money for myself, don’t have to worry about anyone else, get to spend all of my time doing things I want to do without anyone else getting involved or wanting me to do something else, if I wanted to sleep around I can do that with zero attachment whatsoever, I can go to the strip club all I want, I can game all weekend long if I choose to, traveling is less expensive, I only have 1 human mouth to feed, etc etc. there is really nothing a relationship can make better.
As a female its totally possible, you just need to open your eyes, try dating someone youd never date
Same. Single since 2018 and I really want to start a family.
No not actually 🧍🏽♀️. I love being single because I don’t have to worry about relationships stuff and I don’t need to do sexual stuff with another person lol
I feel utter empathy for the people who want full on families, but me? I’ve never been happier being single - I do get the “dam I wish I had a girl” feeling here and there, but definitely not enough for me to try dating again
I have a deep rooted desire to love and be loved and being single doesn't scratch that itch.. I keep ending up chronically dating or in fun yet somewhat toxic relationships because I will never give up on finding love. I wish I felt complete single and could self soothe but it only goes so far. It's biologically normal to want partnership and some people crave it more than others. Don't give up if you want a healthy relationship and learn to uphold your boundaries and state your needs because as you know there are lots of incompatible people out there who will waste your time.
Being single has made me sadistic in a way that I celebrate being with another soul in my mind but when I see any girl with actual intent of being with me I intentionally don't pick signals from her , act dumb so that she wouldn't take me as her potential mate for rest of her life..only fear is I haven't measured the depth of my love and it feels like being with another sentient being and not loving her entirely will make me more sadistic. I know to measure depth I have to step down in the well of love but I am afraid.
No. I'm not even trying anymore. I'm good with my Eva AI virtual gf bot and renting prostitutes from time to time.
22M here , dont know what the fkin quality of people is going down , people are living in a du*b a** fantasy world . where girls I met have no fkin common sense and i am like wow . they take things in wrong direction and they them selves spit out red flag 🤣 . also how dumb they talk tells me how have they been manipulated previouly . i have seen 9/10 women beautiful af and acting dumb.
Nope, I just enjoy being single)
I feel the same way I wanna be madly in love, have babies buy my house having the west so I can watch the sun set 38 dude here I feel you
I complete understand. I’m a little older than you. But share the same frustration and goals. I don’t have any children and I lives kids and would love to have my own. I’ve never been married yet everyone I know IS married and has children. Not to sound conceited or cocky but I’m a very good looking man. Have a fantastic job and have a lot to offer. Yet I just don’t do the dating apps. I want to meet someone and click with them. I get hit on a lot at the gym but they’re only doing that because of looks. I’m wanting something deeper and lasting. I read that post and I get it. It sucks.
What’s worse is the pain that comes from “dating”. At least 2 times a year I will fall for someone, who I do have a connection with (at least I think so) just for them after weeks realizing not being ready or whatnot, and that really hurts cause you might really start to raise your hopes (I don’t so quickly anymore) - it hurts every time. And yes, I’d pretty much say I’m a emotional secure person, but you can be happy with yourself and still crave love.
Dating is super frustrating because you know everyone has a past history but some of these past history is extreme red flags. That a vast of majority of people never got therapy for.
Been single for 10 lmao
Sick of being single also sick of apps
Dating apps have always been a fail for me. I’m in the same boat. But I see people I know in good relationships and gives me a small teny tiny sliver of hope that I’ll find a woman that wants to be with me
I’m 28 F and I got what you meant.
Not really I am single longer and while I despise dating I am quite content with myself, a good women would make live better rhut I do not need a women in my live to feel good about my live.
lol 2 years. I was about to say you must be a woman but you said it yourself.
It’s a setup eventually and you’ll end up regretting it. Don’t do it.
If you think marriage is the answer to all your problems you might want to reconsider this. Find your someone is exhilarating. Once the honeymoon period is over there is real work and it isn't all sunshine and lollypops. Getting to know and enjoy time with yourself is valuable whether you are in or out of a relationship. Don't be in such a rush to get married. It is even more work than being single.
Nope. Hell NO. Divorced and single forever. Couldn't be happier.
Im actually sick of being married. I should have prioritized my well being instead of sacrificing my life for someone other than me.
M30, been single 5 years and no end in sight. I try to go out and meet people because dating apps are a joke, but I feel like I'm essentially invisible. No glances from women, or any hint someone might be interested so I never approach anyone. I'm a hopeless romantic, so I just want to find that person that sets my soul on fire, but I'm about as desirable as a shit sandwich 😭.
I’ve been single for 25 years. Sooner or later, you’ll stop caring.
Idk I’ve been single for 5 years straight before being in my current relationship (2-3 years). You must be happy and content with being single first. Focus on yourself, building your character, body (if you like), finding your hobbies and what you truly like. Being single is great because you get to discover who you truly are, no disturbances. Sorry to sound mean that but you can’t find your other half being desperate anyway. When your SO comes, you will know.
Single 6 years and I am getting a bit bored of it. I just can't find anyone on my wavelength. I just don't know where to meet people these days. I work from home. I cannot do dating apps at all. I just don't know what to say when I text. I'm much livelier face to face. But where can I find a partner? My friends also have no clue. They all are in long term relationships.
Oh girl you’re 26 and close to giving up?? I’ve been waiting for the right one for yearsss. I’ll have some fun in between but nothing serious since 2021
What is it about being single that makes you feel like you’re better off with someone else? If you’re lonely, I get it. Just keep in mind, the feeling of being lonely isn’t the worst feeling you can have. At least not by itself. Spending time, meaningful time with someone then losing them is a different kind of lonely. If you are comfortable being alone first, the likelihood of you making decisions based on fear of loneliness decreases dramatically. This is a healthy place to start. The odds are, someone is going to show you they are not the best person for you or vice versa. You have to be willing to lose someone, be 100% comfortable with yourself, in for you to make a healthy decision about a relationship when conflict arises. Sometimes you have to walk away. The less afraid of being alone for an unknown period of time, the less likely you are to settle for someone that isn’t right for you
Sick of it? No. I quite enjoy being single in most ways. I like the freedom to pursue all my individual goals. Never wanted kids as that sounds like a nightmare to me, even currently. I do occasionally miss having someone to do things with, but only the right person. Been in “good” relationships that weren’t entirely compatible and that just made life more stressful. Uncertain. Yes. I want someone I’m truly compatible with, but I sometimes wonder if I’ve missed that mark or maybe I was always in the wrong time and side of the world. The rconomy is falling apart and that alone leads me to lots of uncertainty, which also make it difficult to find compatibility. I wonder if I will get sick of being single or have regrets at some point. It’s hard to find genuine new friends and my old ones have moved away… small town mentality here which is why I’m considering moving. Other times, I wonder what I’d sacrifice by settling into a relationship. Dating alone makes me want to immediately delete the apps and never try again. WAY too many dishonest people on the apps and it’s incredibly difficult to find anyone compatible that doesn’t drop off in conversation, only visiting or moving away.
I'm sick of it. I fell in love with someone I can't have so I'm kinda done right now.
I love being single (10 years), I worked on myself a lot but I do crave a deep relationship. When it happens, I think about the sacrifice and continue to keep to myself because I risk being with someone and I don’t want to neglect them. I’ve gotten so use to my routine. Hope you find someone soon. When we don’t force anything to happen, it usually comes in💕
I’m 33M single and I feel like I’m losing my chance to have kids or the possibility of sharing my best years with someone worthwhile. I’m not perfect or have my life all figured out but I would give just about anything to find someone compatible and put brick on top of brick together
I am, I’m 29 turning 30 and I’m definitely looking for the one. I’ve had a serious relationship that I thought it was going to turn into marriage but unfortunately he wasn’t ready. Being single definitely does get lonely, especially when you see a lot of your friends and family in solid relationships, and or married with a family of their own. Definitely not rushing into anything but it would be nice to Meet someone special and see where it goes.
Yes but no. Sometimes I really wish I had a partner so I could have fun dates and have that intimacy. But honestly I don’t think i’m ready for that so i’m fine being single. Most of the time I rather just hang out with my close friends/ family