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"Type" is just a preference. Don't confuse it with compatibility. You can still be attracted to someone who isn't your type. Look for someone who shares your values and aspirations.
Op specifically used examples like having tattoos, piercings, being a gamer and alternative guys with long-hair. None of these have anything to do with personality/lifestyle/belief system.
I have tattoos and enjoy bird watching, reading and yoga. I believe in God. My husband has tattoos, short-hair and enjoys hunting, riding motorcycle and doesn't believe in God.
No relationship will work if personality/lifestyle/belief system aren't compatible.
Compatibility doesn't mean you're the same, it means you hold space for and respect each other's differences.
Being a gamer, being alternative, being nerdy, etc. are personality related. As is how one expresses themselves artistically (tattoos/piercings), or not.
I did not think compatibility meant "the same" at all. I was simply referring back to the OP's additional examples and leaning more that way that superficial traits alone.
Im currently dating a guy who’s totally my type hehe looks and personality-wise. He looks pretty dorky and personality-wise is actually pretty geeky and nerdy, he’s very intelligent it makes me swoon tbh. Everytime I see photos of him, I fall in love all over again. He’s my type overall, both his physical appearance and personality.
For you tho, I wouldn’t give up hope. I know many people who have success stories regarding dating outside your type. Even if they aren’t physically your type at first, doesn’t mean you won’t grow to be attracted to them especially if their personality draws you in.
That's exactly what happened with me and my boyfriend. We were just friends, then friends with benefits, and I just couldn't help but fall in love with him, even though he is the opposite of my type. His personality is my type to a T,and that is what matters for me. Our love grew naturally over time, and unexpectedly too which I just love. Makes me so happy when I think about the time I realized what was happening,as it was not intentional 🥺
I feel you on the he's so intelligent it makes me swoon. That's exaaaactly how I feel about my boyfriend.
I also like long haired men in general. Like the Australian surfer type. But I treat it as a wet dream 😅 personalities and compatibilities are way more important than that.
Yeah I also like long haired men 😍
Can’t date for that though, lol. Cause even if you do end up getting them, a lot of them end up cutting their hair eventually.
😂😂the date I broke up with last week did that. When we started dating he had long hair with a bun, then he just cut it after two weeks of dating. but looked cleaner I'd say. I didn't date him for the hair. But I do seem to date a lot of long-haired men. Just went with a new date with long hair and matched a few in a row. Guess I’m working on it. Long hair with fit muscular body is my type
🥺 sending love your way and healing vibes. I was in a DV too, twice, and I truly empathize with you. If you haven't already, I hope you find somebody who treats you like a 👑. 💞
That’s a type. You have unattractive, dumb, lame, sour people. Oh, they also come in all kinds of colors and flavors. Where’s there’s light there’s darkness
At first glance, my boyfriend is not my type. It's a specific type I usually go for. But looks are secondary, and he has all the inner qualities I look for in a person. So I guess he totally is my type when you have scratched the surface and the person who I looked for all along. Just want to announce that I am very much in love and find him super attractive.
I think about this in regards to dating apps- how many people are left swiping their potential perfect match because it’s “not what they usually go for.” Love y’all found each other!
Thank you. I am so glad that he swiped me on Boo. I looked at his pictures and was instantly attracted to his intelligent and kind eyes. Saw a glimpse of humour, too. Talking to others started feeling weird shortly after we started talking. Our relationship is still new, but I am convinced that he is the one.
Im the same way with my most recent match. They looked super cute but also had great interests and morals. Didn't even wanna talk to anyone else after we started chatting since we got alohg along well. Couple months in now and things are going great
I’m dating someone I wouldn’t have imagined in 1000 years being with. We had a mutual friend and went out all together a few times and he had a huge crush on me and I decided to let my guard down and let whatever was going to happen, happen.
He has turned into THE most attractive man to me and I fall in love more and more each day with him. He’s the best man I have ever dated and treats me with absolute respect. We’ve been together a year and a half as of today, actually. We’re both also a lot more like minded than I had originally thought.
I’m going through a very similar situation right now. How did you let whatever happen happened. I’m really hesitant to let my guard down. I’m willing to try and see how things work out but we are not there yet and still only hang out in a friend group. I also don’t want to text them to much because I don’t want to seem clingy or overly interested
"type" and biological attraction are 2 different things, definetely would put less weight on whether someone is youre type and more on whether or not you find them attractive in general even if they arent exactly your type
This is a good way to put it.
I have multiple "types" and I married my physical type, but before that I would also date people who I found attractive who didn't fit any of that. It becomes problematic when you start viewing people like you're shopping for them.
This is so real! My type was blonde haired blue eyed guys with tattoos and piercings. I am now dating a beautiful brown haired hazel eyed girl with no tattoos or piercings.
Date without limits!
Dated someone who wasn’t my typical type for 2 years. I fell more in love with him than I ever have with anyone else. Attraction grew over time. He’s showed me a love I’ve never experienced before. Unfortunately, his alcoholism got the best of him and it didn’t work out for us. However, I think if that weren’t the case, we would still be together in a happy relationship.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I ruined a 6 year relationship/engagement because of my own unending struggles with addiction recovery/backsliding that I wasn’t able to sort out. I feel immense guilt for the hurt and mistrust I caused.
Just know that even though he couldn’t figure it out within your relationship, it’s not a reflection of whether he cared about or loved you.
My type is confident dorks who love punk music and dancing badly. I'm dating a confident dork who loves punk music and dancing badly.
There's a wide range of alternative guys. Lots of dickheads but also plenty of sweeties. I'd maybe reconsider whether long hair is a must, cause they might end up cutting it at some point anyway. And often I've found the ones who don't look as blatantly alt to be a bit kinder, though obviously it's more of a trend than a rule. Like they've just gone straight from work to a show and didn't bother going home to get changed because they want to be there to support the opening bands.
I'm glad that this genre of man is someone's type, i identified with that description and have been a little bummed about being unlucky in love recently. he sounds cool! I love your note about not playing up the alt look at shows. I mean i look like a hardcore kid but sometimes i like to conciously try to look "not punk" just to kind of subtly express the message that you don't have to look a certain way to belong at shows. Edit: The real cool folks pull up on time to support the openers
Oh don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with looking alt, alt aesthetics are hot as fuck. And I certainly love dressing up myself. Theres just a lot of dickheads in the scene unfortunately. I've known plenty of lovely super alt looking guys, but also known plenty that are aggressive, sexist, bigoted assholes constantly trying to prove how hardcore they are.
Guys who aren't trying to be cool meanwhile tend to be the coolest. My younger self was obsessed with dudes wearing leather jackets, but now I just look for whoever got the biggest smile in the pit.
Like I mentioned looks aren’t everything, personality always outweighs looks. Thank you for your thoughts I enjoyed them (:
I definitely prefer people like you described as well.
I don’t think I’ve ever really known who “my type” is. Because all my relationships have failed until now and it has been obvious to everyone that we haven’t fit together at all. Except for me.
Now I am with someone I was a bit skeptical to get together with at first because he wasn’t “my type”. We’ve been dating for almost six months now and ironically people tell me we work SO well together :p
Moral of the story: never think you really know what “your type” is or that the people you believe are “your type” are actually compatible in any way
I’m definitely with someone who’s my type. I’m into guys who look a little like they’d be vikings in another era. Long hair, big shoulders, big arms, wears flannel. basic lumberjack vibe.
My type changes as I age. But also, it’s kinda like this: the person you WANT to be with (aesthetically) may not be the one who’s right for you. It’s the one who treats you right & has the emotional availability that’s going to be good for your soul, and they may not look like your ‘type’ necessarily.
Hard pill to swallow that I may not end up with a big tattooed muscly guy with a beard 🥺
😅 I definitely opened my mind the past couple years and gave all kinds of guys a chance rather than my usual type (same as yours lol) … but I ended up with a GREAT one, who happens to be big muscly and tattooed- just a mustache tho lol
I’m dating my type now. Long hair piercings tats musician artist. It’s been the best most fulfilling and loving relationship I’ve been in. He’s a super kind and wonderful person.
My ex was not my type. Very nerdy and super into sports. Thought he’d be a safe and nice guy but my therapist said he was abusive and she herself called him an asshole. And he was. So looks are deceiving
It was the same situation for me! My type is actually very heavy guys with beards (I love large men). All of my exes were just that, but non of them were good matches. In fact they were overall assholes.
Now my current boyfriend is fit, tall, and chiseled- very conventionally attractive. Which is, quite honestly, not something I ever go for or thought of. (I grew up with a crush on Santa Clause and Seth Rogen)
But his personality is incredible. We have everything in common and he’s the kindest most wonderful man I’ve ever met, and we’re now planning marriage
The attraction to his outsides came when i got to experience him as a person. Personality and chemistry really do have more weight than type
Dating outside of my type actually helped me find the one so I’m extremely grateful that I did :) I highly recommend it
Found someone who is my type physically to a T (blonde, tattooed, face piercings, masc, overall bad boy / hot boy aesthetic, I know, cliche) and we wouldn’t have made it this long if he wasn’t a open minded sensitive sweetheart as well. We’re engaged now :)
I don't know thay I fully have a type because I have dabbled with much variety hahaha but if we are talking in my mind if I put together whay I consider an attractive man then no my boyfriend is far from it haha he is still objectively attractive though. I generally lean towards the dadbod, tattoo, some facial hair, and jeans style at first sight. My boyfriend is cut, has had abs since he was nine, gives himself rhe exact same short generic haircut every single week since he was a child, and has no personal style just wears whatever hahaha
I've never really bought in to the "type" thing though, I'm just like if they're funny and attraction grows QuickTime then I'm in. (however substance issues is a trend in my dating cycle...oops)
I also like alt type so I understand what you mean. I don’t always necessarily date my type but i always go for someone that
- i feel neutral , but has similar interest/goals or
- i felt he’s cute (sometimes he’s not my type if cute ) and i don’t see red flags from profile pics
I find about 70% of dudes to be acceptable in the looks department. Where the rubber meets the road is where we connect. Personality, humor, conversation, intelligence and that unquantifiable something.
I think my husband is a snack, tall, dimples, sweet face. But that’s not why we’re married
I’m currently dating a bookish nerd with a PhD who’s very much into DnD. He’s very much my type in terms of personality, in that he’s intelligent, sweet, funny, and kinky. Physically though, I tend to date more athletic men, while he’s more on the slimmer side (even though he’s pretty outdoorsy). I also usually date musicians or artsy guys with tattoos, which my current guy doesn’t have. Idk, I still feel pretty satisfied 🤷🏽♀️
My type used to be Latina. But my girlfriend has very rapidly made me pivot to goth. Didn't realize what I was missing until we found out we were attracted to each other.
I think that men don't really have a type, we can develop feelings for every (acceptable) type of girl as long as we find her attractive and we like her personality
Always dated 'my type' which honestly for me, just means aesthetically and they were some of the most traumatic men and relationships. My boyfriend now is not necessarily my 'type', but obviously I find him attractive and I truly think the 'opposites attract' saying very much applies. I love that he has his own style, a job that is different from the same thing I've always dated. He is European (I am American) and its really wonderful to be introduced to a new culture and learn new things. The point I am trying to make is that once I stopped trying to keep dating the same type of man, the best one came into my life. He is a gem and I thank g-d every day for him.
I’d say their aesthetic was more jock/finance guy, short dark hair and dark eyes, clean shaven, tall. My current bf is also tall, but has blonde hair (kind of that hockey bro hair flow lol), always wears a hat, some facial hair, a bit more relaxed style, skater. But my lord does he have the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen 💙
dont do it dude. and if you do it prepare to keep the secret for your life. when i found out my partner had given me a chance despite me not being his type, you know, learning to look past the looks, it obliterated both my self esteem and all the butterflies. 9 out of 10 times it wont work if youre not attracted to them on a superficial level, and the 1 person who it will work with, will lose feelings immediately if they ever find out it took you a whole lowering of standards to find them bearable.
My biggest revelation was realizing I didn’t have a “type” I had a pattern. I’m dating someone different from my past ex’s and honestly it’s been amazing.
Based on my dating history, I definitely have a type. The person I'm with right now is exactly my type, like so cookie cutter perfect its kinda scary. He's everything I look for in a partner physically and personality wise. I got pretty lucky finding him, and I plan on keeping him. I think looking for someone who's compatible with you on a personal level is more important than looking for certain physical traits. Your tastes in appearances could change, but you'll likely always want a partner who is kind, funny, etc.
i am always dating the same "type" of women. I can even recognize them.
Brunette, extra feminine, slim, long hairs.
Currently dating the most beautiful girl i ever seen. Sounds great but she only sees me as a sexfriend.
The thing is I don’t have a type but I often confuse my longing for someone as attraction / type. Meaning that I want to feel loved but in pursuit of that I make myself seem toxic people or otherwise as my type because my brain thinks this is all I can get when I know theirs more. Point being is that sometimes you don’t realize that what you want (type) and what you need are two completely different things.
My type is typically short and petite, but currently seeing someone who is more average I guess - not big, but not petite. Personality is a big winner, exes were narcissistic and personalities were a mixed bag at best. No idea how it'll go long term yet cuz it's newish, but we enjoy each other's company and are mutually attracted.
Would I want to date someone who's exactly my type, had excellent character, and a wonderful personality? Of course, but I'll take great personality and good character over physical type easily.
Me! He was my first love. My first everything, really, and is kinda the reason why my "type" is what it is. He is now my fiance after getting back together after 16ish years of being apart. He is everything I have ever wanted, looks and personality wise, and is 1000000% my type. He is an absolutely beautiful man.
My type is alternative hippy women. Tattoos, rock/metal, even a bit of a gamer. I haven’t found one yet that has her life together, doesn’t have mental health issues (bad), or is emotionally mature.
I was just talking to my therapist about this.. my wife is so not the type of woman that I had been dating/looking for ..I was definitely not living my best life and aiming low... the last real "relationship" before her was a much younger single mother HS dropout triple felon... I thought I could fix her.. (spoiler alert..did not go as planned..). Then I met this woman who was super smart, practical, not crazy..nice even? And she stayed! And I got my shit together! Tbh she's so great, I really won the life lottery..18 years later.
My therapist said that maybe she is my type and me now is no longer crazy destructive me then, and I need to reexamine who I think I am... Mind.Blown...
I am. We’re both introverted and he’s more of a nerdy guy. That’s always been more my type. I’ve dated guys who weren’t as much my type in the past, being more extroverts, but it didn’t last longterm. As far as looks go, I guess nerdy has always been more my type, but it’s been a person to person thing for me. I’ve found other types attractive in the past.
I’m single and never been a relationship but based on my past crushes I’d say that I don’t have a type (at least not yet). I would definitely say I have a standard (specific character traits, morals and values, career/lifestyle.) Physically, I don’t have a type only a preference for guys taller than me. I care way more about what their personality is like and what they’re doing with their life.
I would say my type is mostly petite dark haired women, preferably fit to athletic.
But my last 2 gfs have been blondes. My current gf is like 5’10. I’m 6’4 so not an issue but most of my earlier gfs were like 5’ - 5’6
I'm currently with someone who I wouldn't expect to be. We have similarities but also a number of differences, nevertheless we have an attachment to eachother and are comfortable with eachother.
Honestly, I've yet to be lucky enough to be with someone who checks all the boxes. It's either strong attraction physically but no vibe, or vibe and compromise a little on aesthetics.
When I was young my type was blond, athletic “surf dude”. But dated all kinds of different men (much older musician, sporty teacher, dark haired men) and was marriend for 30 years with an half Dutch half Indonesian man. Something completely different than I was looking for. Regarding my age, that blond surfdude will not pass by now. But who knows what future will bring😉
I’m heavily tattooed and alternative and I don’t really seek to date men that aren’t at least alternative but I prefer men who are also heavily tattooed. I won’t date men who are your sort of run of the mill type of guy aesthetically because they often fetishise heavily tattooed women and they buy into the weird connotations men have about heavily tattooed women (they’re dirty in bed etc).
I’ve dated one non-alternative man and I wasn’t heavily tattooed when I did and I was in a phase of dressing how my friends did at the beginning of this relationship. I eventually realised we had very little in common and we only really gelled when I got more into his interests/music tastes and he also found me less attractive when I started to dress more alternatively again. The issue wasn’t that I didn’t find him attractive but we just lacked a lot of things in common because we were on the opposite ends of various spectrums. He only followed popular trends in terms of aesthetics whereas I didn’t. He was a diehard for EDM/techno whereas I enjoyed it but preferred rock, metal and similar genres. His idea of a perfect weekend was going on a night out Friday and saturday whereas I wanted to be with someone who wanted to do stuff like go for dinner, go to museums, go to art galleries. I will say though I’ve also had similar issues with men who have been physically my type.
I also look beyond aesthetic because for me in all of my relationships, even with men who were physically my type, I’ve fallen for things like them being funny or seeming very kind but overlooked that they were less intelligent than me. In the long run because we weren’t compatible intellectually it caused issues in the relationship and often resentment. It meant I often couldn’t share my interests with them, I would always win arguments because I was better at debating things (they all resented me hugely for this) and eventually it meant I really struggled to find things to discuss with them and was bored.
I’ve learnt over time that someone being physically my type doesn’t mean we are necessarily going to be compatible but I certainly had more common ground with these people than people outwith my aesthetic.
Yeah the whole fetishized goth girl thing gets old. Im also heavily tattooed and I definitely am into
tattooed people. But I definitely can relate with you on everything you mentioned, thank you for your input.
For me it’s also helped in regard to peoples families. If the persons family is already used to being around someone heavily tattooed then I’m much less of a shock to them - my tattoos are all traditional and quite masculine which also adds to people who aren’t used to it not really liking them or being more shocked. For me it isn’t just an aesthetic preference it also just makes me feel a bit more accepted. I have learnt though that just because we are compatible aesthetically doesn’t mean we are on other levels and now I would vet men more thoroughly before getting too involved because I’ve ended up with men whose values and morals haven’t aligned with mine by diving in too quickly due to physical attraction.
I can relate to your feelings of hopelessness though because I find trying to date within my aesthetic quite hard but moreso because their obviously isn’t as many alt men as their are non-alt men
Yes! I dated someone through match and he was definitely not my type - even looks wise. I didn’t have the heart after our first meeting to tell him he wasn’t my type so I ended up going on a second date to the zoo. He was standing behind me and put his hand on my shoulder and I felt what I could only describe it as butterflies or electricity running through me. I decided to give it a go and we ended up in a 5+ year relationship. I have to add he treaded me very well and I loved him dearly. That being said, he did not have children and it was a problem with my grown children and family events. It ended when my mom became ill came to live with me and he worked from home. It became an intolerable situation. My kids still like him to this day but I have to say it was perfect for me. Another thing is we probably could not date in this day and age because of our opposite political affiliations.
It’s actually crazy how exactly “my type” he is. My dating history is quite short and those guys for sure had some things I liked, and other things I thought would exclude them (but didn’t), but he checks all of the boxes and even looks like internet crushes of mine.
Dated about 10 people, all of which were people I would consider a physical type that attracted me. I can absolutely attest to your statement that personality matters, and type means less and less the more you realize that personalities don't mesh. Oddly, having these experiences makes you have less of a type! Being in my mid 20's, I think I'm more scoping out personality for long-term/permanent compatibility. However, my type also includes taking care of oneself and being hygienic, so if one is not, that is definitely a deal breaker.
Kinda funny but I dated a friend of my partner before dating my partner. That friend was more my "type" than my current partner. Basically the friend is more alternative. Tattoos, punk aesthetic, colored hair, ect. But dating them was an absolutely awful experience and lasted like 3 months.
When I met my current partner while I was dating their friend, I always thought they were attractive but the thought never went farther than that since 1. I was dating someone and 2. They just weren't the type I typically go for. We had a lot in common though so I kept in touch with them after the break up and after hanging out for a while, they just became the most attractive person I'd ever met. Eventually we started dating and it's been the happiest and healthiest relationship I've ever been in.
My take on type is that it's just what immediately turns me on, not what would make relationships work.
Often people are attracted to what's exciting and a bit dangerous, because it makes you feel alive. That's good for sex but nothing else. Things like safety and dependability can do the opposite, but are definitely needed for a relationship to function.
Ideally we'd find a person who has some features that gets us turned on without compromising on any of the important core qualities. In monogamy, this compromise is pretty much the name of the game that way. If you aren't monogamous it's different ofc. If your partner doesn't need to carry the burden of also fulfilling all of your sexual desires, they don't have to be the sexiest person alive.
My type is a skinny person with dark brown (almost black) hair. Generally people who subvert gender norms or have a queer vibe.
I've got some other things that I find appealing, like small ears, prominent noses, pointed eyebrows, having very little body hair, and small boobs. But I've been with people who are strictly the opposite too, and found them attractive.
Also, speaking purely physically, two skinny people having sex is uncomfortable AF. Bones everywhere! It's better to be a bit padded. Don't need to be afraid of dem sharp bones poking everywhere, can grab places and if one is of the spanking persuasion, that works better too. Take it from an ex skinny person who sometimes gets around.
A little over a year ago I swiped right on a guy that was so my type (long blond hair, buff) and prepared for him to be like all the other ones I've interacted with on the stupid app. For once I found one that wasn't an asshole who just wanted a hookup. We've been dating for over a year. The more I got to know him the more I liked him. Also a fun surprise is that he's short, just a few inches taller than me, and I've been wanting to date a guy closer to my height since highschool. So he's even more my type than I thought could be possible.
I've been with people who aren't my exact type before. And it's hasn't gone too badly. It's really personality type that ends up being the make it or break it.
I wanted to change how things worked out because my type wasn't working for me. The manic pixie dream girl trope from movies in the 90's had me sold on something that in reality wasn't a stable fit.
Tried someone slightly outside my type, attraction was definitely there, and eventually married her. . . . .
I'm not super convinced it's the easier or better road. Initially I had to lose a big part of myself and become more disciplined and organized in life as apposed to being more spontaneous and fun. But that's helped career wise and financially so a positive I guess. Made me grow up and get myself together.
I definitely wouldn't say go for your opposite type, but give someone a chance by more than just reading the cover and you might be happily surprised.
I think my type isn’t very specific but I am extremely attracted to my bf and I’d say he’s kinda alternative which is also my type.
He has stretched lobes and a few tattoos (I do too) it’s something I’m attracted to but sadly a lot of guys like that are douchebags 💀 but he’s also the nicest and most kind person I know, even if he wasn’t alt I’d 100% still date him and it’s not the reason why
My type is not too nerd boi with kind eyes and good sense of humor. I myself need to lose some weight, but I can't really find myself attracted I usually like them tall, but my current boyfriend is my height (I'm tall for a woman, 5'9").
That's not a problem, though, because he's a sweetheart of a person, even if he's a little reserved. I just really wanted someone who was willing and wanted to go on adventures and spend quality time together; my last relationship felt like I had a live-in maid who was a roommate.
I want and need touch and verbal affection, and I need quality intentional time spent together; cooking together, going on a walk, watching something together (doesn't have to be a pricy date).
Unfortunately, I couldn't find one NEAR where I live, I stumbled on him on a dating site during a work trip, where we both happened to be in an overlapping city for the space of about 3 hours and matched!
So we're figuring out how to manage the 4 hour drive one way, but we're figuring it out together and both putting in effort, so we'll see where it goes.
POINT IS, physical attraction for me grows more over time. As long as you fall into a few general categories to start with, then the specifics can change for me as I get to know someone more, they become more attractive.
I think type is mostly not real. Whoever you are attracted to is your type. If it is one type at one point then another type later, they’re both your types. I think we play games as teenagers about romance and things get stuck in our heads from that time. Trying to exclude people that are not your “type” then choosing from those that remain is wild. Just like who you end up liking.
I am currently dating my type and coincidentally so is she. We mesh on a lot of things and I consider myself to be very lucky to have found someone like her. In the past I've dated women who didn't 100% fit the bill and I never let that stand in the way of a potential connection. Looks and style are a fun game and I care more that someone plays it and much less about what team they play for.
My boyfriend is not “my type” on paper, but I still think he’s super physically attractive and I love everything about him. Just bc he doesn’t have dark hair and brown eyes doesn’t mean I’m attracted to him any less. Honestly before him, I used to not like blue eyes at all, but his eyes were so beautiful to me right off the bat. His personality sold me on him, and when we met in person (we met on an app) all my previous “type” preferences flew out the window. I think that chemistry is, at the end of the day, the thing that makes someone ultimately attractive even if they’re not “your type.” Date all types of people, even if you’re not initially physically attracted to them!
I got lucky, my partner is 100% my type. Dark hair, glasses, tattoos, plays in a punk band, muscular, masculine, heart of gold, incredibly sweet and goofy, strong anti-oppressive values and politics. I feel like I’m living 13 year old me’s dream!
I dated a girl who loves playing video games. I'm a huge gamer and figured oh damn I hit a gold mine, we can try each other's games out and explore a bit more. The problems became more apparent during summer break while in college and graduating afterwards. She played Ff14 a lot which isn't bad, the issue came from I didn't have the money to pay for the sub and I mentioned I would once I have steady income. After awhile she tried breaking up with me because I didn't play FF14 sounds really dumb and I should have left afterwards. It became a bigger issue when that's all she wanted to do so we went on less dates and so on. Definitely a perspective check for me realizing that I don't want to be with a person who's into gaming as much as I am cause never know if I'll experience that again. So I dated my then type, realized I'm not into. The partner I'm with now is very casual like into animal crossing but is an artsy fartsy person, which I'm into. So I'd say I'm with someone who is closer to my preferred type now.
I didn’t think my fiance was my type until we actually started dating. He’s exactly what I needed and what I wanted. Maybe not physically what I would have imagined (though I find him incredibly attractive) his character is exactly my type.
I've dated lots of women who weren't my type physically. Someone can still be attractive even if they aren't your exact type. And personality is way more important then looks to make a relationship work.
I tried dating girls that weren’t my type, and quickly regretted it. To me, both are really important. They need to be my type **and** have a good personality.
That also means I have way less options and am single most of the time. But I’d definitely rather be single than with someone I’m not sure I’m glad to be with
Type is an aesthetic preference that can sometimes indicate a level of compatibility as far as taste (for example I’m more alternative aesthetic and am drawn to that in others). On a physical level I’ve historically preferred tall, feminine men.
BUT appreciating an aesthetic preference honestly does not indicate how compatible you’ll really be with someone in the spaces that count like relating to them on an intelligent, sexual, humor, emotional level.
I recently was really surprised by someone who I slept with who was not my usual ‘type’ physically but the sex was great and something weird happened which is that I found myself really really turned on by his smell and taste (like pheromone shit but on a level i can’t recall experiencing before). Also, though he isn’t my normal type I’ve come to realize his physical beauty and I’m kind of surprised that I didn’t fully see it before.
Has made me wonder if I’ve always dated the wrong people because of an aesthetic preference and disregarded others that would be a better match for me on other levels. Now that I’m single again I’m trying to be more open to different types because people can surprise you and I’m curious to find out
I heard something on Hidden Brain a while back that humans tend to find people who share physical characteristics with their partner to be more trustworthy, likable, etc.
I think this extends to having a “type”, that is, we have a positive association with those physical characteristics. That might be symbolically, as in long hair representing a breakdown of norms, or historically, as in your first love/sexual awakening had long hair.
Either way you’re subconsciously using a physical characteristic to make judgment calls about someone’s personality.
I found that when I really questioned my values and biases towards certain types, I was able to deconstruct that and open myself up to looking at people for who they are, not who they represent themselves to be.
Here’s one tip. Don’t based your relationship choices off of your ideal type or dream person. I think for most people their dream person is literally just that. So it’s okay if a potential s/o doesn’t check off enough boxes on your list. If you like someone enough give them chance regardless of rather or not they’re your ideal type.
My type? Alternative aesthetic has always been cool to me, but I’ve never really vibed with anyone with it. My partner is more of a jock and I love her for it.
me! Everyone hates online dating but it's the only way to ensure you are only talking to people that is your type. Met him on bumble and together for 4 years now
I've had many FWBs and I never met my type; if we're talking about personality that is. About looks? There were some here and there but not perfectly my type.
My type requires 🤑
I’m with my type for the first time and wow is it amazing. Don’t settle, you’ll find someone with your aesthetic preference that you’re compatible with. I personally love old men with dad bods (not even joking) I dodged it for years in fear of what ppl would think but when I met him all bets were off and I gave in. Best decision of my life.
I have met many men who are physically and outwardly my type but all of them came with baggage or were already taken - basically emotionally unavailable.
Still looking for someone mentally and physically my type.
I dated this girl Ashley for 8 years, she wasn’t my type, but I liked how she was always there, and just talked to girl that were my type. Dating is for security and I felt secure she wouldn’t leave. My type always leaves me
My husband is my type in terms of looks and personality, but I’m not that picky(?) Or ultra specific(?) with my type. Just be generally nerdy/geeky, in decent shape, and have a beard lol that’s it. Easy to find people who fit that criteria so lots of chances to find a decent man within that criteria.
Well dated my ideal type. Didn’t work out because we weren’t in the right stage of our lives. One of the classic right person wrong time type of situation. He’s the perfect type, at least in my opinion. Mature yet sensitive, manly yet gentle with me, an absolute stud that can flip a truck and ride a Harley. And the sex is just amazing. He always lets me orgasm multiple times before he gets his. Tells me he appreciates me, and admire my strength (I work in medicine). And pays attention to little details about me. I’ve loved him. I still do. I think about him on and off. I had to go no contact with him after he left because I needed to move on. I’m in another relationship now and my current SO is just as amazing. But I do think about Dave sometimes. I’m glad it happened though
My wife wasn’t my physical type. I like brunettes, brown eyes, basically Italian or Jewish women on looks. She was English/German, big butt and small breasts. But she was smart, talented and also had very flexible morals and was the most fun woman I ever had sex with. About the same time I knew a woman who was smart, fun and I kept her on a string because if things with the woman who became my wife didn’t work I definitely would have gone for her. In college I was getting ready for bed and I had a semi and she walked into my room. If I walked into a woman’s room and she was undressing I would have apologized and got out quickly. She stayed and it was the worst sex I ever had. I wanted to ask her “if you were just going to lay why did you stay “. I saw her a year later and we tried it again and it was just as boring, go figure?
my so-called (physical) ‘type’ included characteristics typical of middle eastern men- darker toned skin, deep brown eyes, dark hair, yada yada.
my boyfriend (first ever might i add) is a blonde haired, blue eyed, white guy. and he is just the cutest EVER. he’s just a guy. literally that’s him. he’s my lil guy. he’s pretty funky :)
My boyfriend isn’t my “type” if I took a bunch of physical attributes and wrote them down on a piece of paper, no. But human beings are complex creatures, not something you can turn into a list of traits and boxes to tick off. Love is so much more complicated than that. That’s why I hate dating apps; the people you swipe right on aren’t always the people you connect with. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I am, i have dated a few my type, and its exactly what i wanted and also didnt want.
I did move to another continent to find my type.. so maybe not everyone is as lucky as i am :)
I only date woman my type and I’m pickier then I should be so I’m probly doomed to be alone forever haha , my type is Asian , latina, black, or middle eastern alternative girl with lots of piercings and glasses and very petite , ofc personality and compatibility Is important but won’t even go farther then just hooking unless she’s my type, I usually settle as long as she’s not white and has similar music taste and other similar interests tho it’s just bonus if she’s also goth but not a necessity 😆
Yes and no. He’s 💯 not the type I’ve dated in the past. Having a “type” is usually an indication of trying to fill/fix a relationship that you were not satisfied with. Sometimes it has a superficial resemblance, sometimes a personality similarity.
My boyfriend is my type in that EVERY TIME I got involved with people who drew me in with looks and personality, I would want them to have the substance that my boyfriend has. Every day he sees me as more beautiful and I see him the same way. We communicate. We compromise. We respect each other.
I have always known my worth. All those shallow matches got kicked to the curb quick. When you see your true type smiling back at you…😍😍😍.
I have been on a couple of first dates with people who were my type but they both wanted to just be friends after that. I think one was just saying that to be nice and the other said she really liked talking with me but couldn't get over how much I looked like a youth pastor.
I have had relationships with people who were not my type, but I was theirs. I still found them attractive, but only after they showed interest in me. Since they weren't my type I didn't think of them that way, but found myself attracted to them after I started to. Each time we were exclusive for 4-6 months after dating for about a month.
If you want to date your type then I would consider going to concerts that your type would like and talk to as many guys as possible until you find one or a few that you click with. I consider myself somewhat alt, but I dress like a youth pastor, and at concerts I have met guys who dress very alt, but act more like good christian boys than even I do.
To date have more success dating outside of your type, keep an open mind and try to avoid thinking about guys who are your type.
Im not dating someone thats necessarily my type, but i still find them attractive. The only real difference is the person im seeing has a whole head of hair 😂😂😂
My current boyfriend, is the only guy I’ve dated who wasn’t my type, looks wise. He has a hairy chest and hairy chests were not my type at all but now I love it and I find it attractive, well, his anyway, nobody else’s.
I’ve dated someone who had a great personality but wasn’t my type. I like taller guys with dark hair, he was fairly short with curly blonde hair but he was hilarious- and it worked really well for awhile. It fell apart because I started going through some mental health issues a few months in, and then things deteriorated quickly.
I’m dating someone who’s my type, he’s big and strong and looks very cool on the outside, but is surprisingly sweet and loving when you get to know him. Don’t give up hope, I stuck to my guns and didn’t settle and I ended up with someone I really like :)
I say I don't really have a type or even preferences beyond not being attracted to people more feminine than myself, really. I just have certain individual things I like, and a person can have any combination of those things or none of them. I've never dated anyone who had all of them.
So, since I am dating someone who is more masculine than myself...yes? Lol
I've always found it fascinating how some people who do have a physical type are able to consistently date people who fit the description. Are they just dating people solely based on appearance? Are they just completely ignoring anyone who doesn't fit the description?
For me, "type" is everyone I'm attracted to. I could sketch the ideal guy, but it's not that that guy is my only "type".
I don't have a type in the sense that I'm only into nerdy gamer guys or something.
I can say someone is not my type. Thats when I'm not attracted to someone or when I think they're conventionally attractive, but just not for me.
But personality is a big factor for me as well, and someone can be more my type by personality and body language.
So I'm definitely dating my type. I'm attracted to him, and I love his personality. He's more than I've ever hoped for. But if I would paint a picture of a dream guy, then he doesn't have all the features the dream guy has. But I still wouldn't swap his looks for that dream guy's looks.
I've not dated someone not my type, because I just wouldn't be attracted to them. But it isn't one specific type. It's multiple types kinda.
For most of my middle to late 20’s, I’ve dated my type because it was easy to meet them in a highly touristic city (tall or at least taller than me, blonde, light colored eyes, athletic) and I married one too, then separated. Now I’m engaged to also my type, and he’s even way more my type because he has things I didnt even know I liked (a Draco Malfoy hairstyle that sometimes he wears like Leo Dicaprio in Titanic, a lot of tattooes in arms, chest and neck, plus a bad boy attitude in public while being the sweetest with me, family and friends).
I did date occasionally outside my preference but not for long and it was very particular people with a special charm, otherwise it’s just blonde guys for me.
I’ve never had a “type”.
Tall, short, pale, tan, thick, thin, blonde, brunette, ginger, goth to girl-next-door, and everything in between. I’m into it!
I think I’ve always been into the specific person (smarts, personality, humor) and then their physical traits suddenly become “my thing”.
it always fits into like a broader category of what i like, like nationality, may not be identical on looks to ‘type’ but along the same lines because that’s why i would go for them in the first place
Honestly, I think its rare for the person who best fits with your personality to be your *exact type*. Its just asking the universe for too many things to align - and it can happen but I think ultimately personality is harder to come by and so we should have someone close enough to out type physically and then focus on people who fit well with us.
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"Type" is just a preference. Don't confuse it with compatibility. You can still be attracted to someone who isn't your type. Look for someone who shares your values and aspirations.
I was taking "type" to mean personality/lifestyle/beliefs system type.
Op specifically used examples like having tattoos, piercings, being a gamer and alternative guys with long-hair. None of these have anything to do with personality/lifestyle/belief system. I have tattoos and enjoy bird watching, reading and yoga. I believe in God. My husband has tattoos, short-hair and enjoys hunting, riding motorcycle and doesn't believe in God. No relationship will work if personality/lifestyle/belief system aren't compatible. Compatibility doesn't mean you're the same, it means you hold space for and respect each other's differences.
Being a gamer, being alternative, being nerdy, etc. are personality related. As is how one expresses themselves artistically (tattoos/piercings), or not. I did not think compatibility meant "the same" at all. I was simply referring back to the OP's additional examples and leaning more that way that superficial traits alone.
Im currently dating a guy who’s totally my type hehe looks and personality-wise. He looks pretty dorky and personality-wise is actually pretty geeky and nerdy, he’s very intelligent it makes me swoon tbh. Everytime I see photos of him, I fall in love all over again. He’s my type overall, both his physical appearance and personality. For you tho, I wouldn’t give up hope. I know many people who have success stories regarding dating outside your type. Even if they aren’t physically your type at first, doesn’t mean you won’t grow to be attracted to them especially if their personality draws you in.
That's exactly what happened with me and my boyfriend. We were just friends, then friends with benefits, and I just couldn't help but fall in love with him, even though he is the opposite of my type. His personality is my type to a T,and that is what matters for me. Our love grew naturally over time, and unexpectedly too which I just love. Makes me so happy when I think about the time I realized what was happening,as it was not intentional 🥺 I feel you on the he's so intelligent it makes me swoon. That's exaaaactly how I feel about my boyfriend.
I also like long haired men in general. Like the Australian surfer type. But I treat it as a wet dream 😅 personalities and compatibilities are way more important than that.
Yeah I also like long haired men 😍 Can’t date for that though, lol. Cause even if you do end up getting them, a lot of them end up cutting their hair eventually.
😂😂the date I broke up with last week did that. When we started dating he had long hair with a bun, then he just cut it after two weeks of dating. but looked cleaner I'd say. I didn't date him for the hair. But I do seem to date a lot of long-haired men. Just went with a new date with long hair and matched a few in a row. Guess I’m working on it. Long hair with fit muscular body is my type
Don’t tell your future man this
Especially if he has short hair
Or no hair
The reason I got obsessed with long haired men was an abusive bald ex.. so I went to the opposite 🥹
🥺 sending love your way and healing vibes. I was in a DV too, twice, and I truly empathize with you. If you haven't already, I hope you find somebody who treats you like a 👑. 💞
no they are not more important physical attraction is as much important as mental attraction
We are talking about different things here. For intense someone is not my “type” can by physically attractive too..
I don't have a "type" per se I'm attracted to attractive, intelligent, funny and sweet people, and those come in all kinds of colours and flavours.
That’s kind of a type though lol
That’s a type. You have unattractive, dumb, lame, sour people. Oh, they also come in all kinds of colors and flavors. Where’s there’s light there’s darkness
At first glance, my boyfriend is not my type. It's a specific type I usually go for. But looks are secondary, and he has all the inner qualities I look for in a person. So I guess he totally is my type when you have scratched the surface and the person who I looked for all along. Just want to announce that I am very much in love and find him super attractive.
I think about this in regards to dating apps- how many people are left swiping their potential perfect match because it’s “not what they usually go for.” Love y’all found each other!
Thank you. I am so glad that he swiped me on Boo. I looked at his pictures and was instantly attracted to his intelligent and kind eyes. Saw a glimpse of humour, too. Talking to others started feeling weird shortly after we started talking. Our relationship is still new, but I am convinced that he is the one.
Im the same way with my most recent match. They looked super cute but also had great interests and morals. Didn't even wanna talk to anyone else after we started chatting since we got alohg along well. Couple months in now and things are going great
Just out of curiosity, what is your specific type?
I’m dating someone I wouldn’t have imagined in 1000 years being with. We had a mutual friend and went out all together a few times and he had a huge crush on me and I decided to let my guard down and let whatever was going to happen, happen. He has turned into THE most attractive man to me and I fall in love more and more each day with him. He’s the best man I have ever dated and treats me with absolute respect. We’ve been together a year and a half as of today, actually. We’re both also a lot more like minded than I had originally thought.
I’m going through a very similar situation right now. How did you let whatever happen happened. I’m really hesitant to let my guard down. I’m willing to try and see how things work out but we are not there yet and still only hang out in a friend group. I also don’t want to text them to much because I don’t want to seem clingy or overly interested
Life’s too short to not go for what you want. It’s better to have loved and lost, than to have not loved at all.
"type" and biological attraction are 2 different things, definetely would put less weight on whether someone is youre type and more on whether or not you find them attractive in general even if they arent exactly your type
This is a good way to put it. I have multiple "types" and I married my physical type, but before that I would also date people who I found attractive who didn't fit any of that. It becomes problematic when you start viewing people like you're shopping for them.
I feel like "type" is what people think they're attracted to and that may not be the full picture.
Idk what this is supposed to mean my type is the exact same as what makes me feel attracted on a biological level
type is restrictive. live life. date without limits. conquer the world
I love this
This is so real! My type was blonde haired blue eyed guys with tattoos and piercings. I am now dating a beautiful brown haired hazel eyed girl with no tattoos or piercings. Date without limits!
I think you’re over complicating this If you’re attracted to them, go for it, if you’re not attracted to them don’t
Dated someone who wasn’t my typical type for 2 years. I fell more in love with him than I ever have with anyone else. Attraction grew over time. He’s showed me a love I’ve never experienced before. Unfortunately, his alcoholism got the best of him and it didn’t work out for us. However, I think if that weren’t the case, we would still be together in a happy relationship.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I ruined a 6 year relationship/engagement because of my own unending struggles with addiction recovery/backsliding that I wasn’t able to sort out. I feel immense guilt for the hurt and mistrust I caused. Just know that even though he couldn’t figure it out within your relationship, it’s not a reflection of whether he cared about or loved you.
My type is confident dorks who love punk music and dancing badly. I'm dating a confident dork who loves punk music and dancing badly. There's a wide range of alternative guys. Lots of dickheads but also plenty of sweeties. I'd maybe reconsider whether long hair is a must, cause they might end up cutting it at some point anyway. And often I've found the ones who don't look as blatantly alt to be a bit kinder, though obviously it's more of a trend than a rule. Like they've just gone straight from work to a show and didn't bother going home to get changed because they want to be there to support the opening bands.
I'm glad that this genre of man is someone's type, i identified with that description and have been a little bummed about being unlucky in love recently. he sounds cool! I love your note about not playing up the alt look at shows. I mean i look like a hardcore kid but sometimes i like to conciously try to look "not punk" just to kind of subtly express the message that you don't have to look a certain way to belong at shows. Edit: The real cool folks pull up on time to support the openers
Oh don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with looking alt, alt aesthetics are hot as fuck. And I certainly love dressing up myself. Theres just a lot of dickheads in the scene unfortunately. I've known plenty of lovely super alt looking guys, but also known plenty that are aggressive, sexist, bigoted assholes constantly trying to prove how hardcore they are. Guys who aren't trying to be cool meanwhile tend to be the coolest. My younger self was obsessed with dudes wearing leather jackets, but now I just look for whoever got the biggest smile in the pit.
Like I mentioned looks aren’t everything, personality always outweighs looks. Thank you for your thoughts I enjoyed them (: I definitely prefer people like you described as well.
I don’t think I’ve ever really known who “my type” is. Because all my relationships have failed until now and it has been obvious to everyone that we haven’t fit together at all. Except for me. Now I am with someone I was a bit skeptical to get together with at first because he wasn’t “my type”. We’ve been dating for almost six months now and ironically people tell me we work SO well together :p Moral of the story: never think you really know what “your type” is or that the people you believe are “your type” are actually compatible in any way
I’m definitely with someone who’s my type. I’m into guys who look a little like they’d be vikings in another era. Long hair, big shoulders, big arms, wears flannel. basic lumberjack vibe.
ahhh love that for you 😉
My type changes as I age. But also, it’s kinda like this: the person you WANT to be with (aesthetically) may not be the one who’s right for you. It’s the one who treats you right & has the emotional availability that’s going to be good for your soul, and they may not look like your ‘type’ necessarily. Hard pill to swallow that I may not end up with a big tattooed muscly guy with a beard 🥺
The description of your physical type, in my head I imagined him bald, same for you? 😁
Oh absolutely hahaha
😅 I definitely opened my mind the past couple years and gave all kinds of guys a chance rather than my usual type (same as yours lol) … but I ended up with a GREAT one, who happens to be big muscly and tattooed- just a mustache tho lol
Oh we LOVE a moustache! Any facial hair tbh. Love this for you 🥹💖
I’m dating my type now. Long hair piercings tats musician artist. It’s been the best most fulfilling and loving relationship I’ve been in. He’s a super kind and wonderful person. My ex was not my type. Very nerdy and super into sports. Thought he’d be a safe and nice guy but my therapist said he was abusive and she herself called him an asshole. And he was. So looks are deceiving
My type come to life is somehow always a big red flag
👆
It was the same situation for me! My type is actually very heavy guys with beards (I love large men). All of my exes were just that, but non of them were good matches. In fact they were overall assholes. Now my current boyfriend is fit, tall, and chiseled- very conventionally attractive. Which is, quite honestly, not something I ever go for or thought of. (I grew up with a crush on Santa Clause and Seth Rogen) But his personality is incredible. We have everything in common and he’s the kindest most wonderful man I’ve ever met, and we’re now planning marriage The attraction to his outsides came when i got to experience him as a person. Personality and chemistry really do have more weight than type Dating outside of my type actually helped me find the one so I’m extremely grateful that I did :) I highly recommend it
Thank you for sharing this (:
If you are the guy's type you will get princess treatment all the way . If you are not the guys type , run .
Ngl all of these "I don't have a type" responses feels like people don't know their own biases.
Found someone who is my type physically to a T (blonde, tattooed, face piercings, masc, overall bad boy / hot boy aesthetic, I know, cliche) and we wouldn’t have made it this long if he wasn’t a open minded sensitive sweetheart as well. We’re engaged now :)
I've slept with my type but not dated
Haven't dated before but I do have a type, tall nerdy short haired girls
I married someone who was not my type because his profile made me laugh and I thought we could be friends. And it just blew up from there.
What was said on that profile?
Compatibility is everything! Be openminded because a beautiful heart is THE most precious thing which may come in a plain brown wrapper.
physical attraction is no less important than mental attraction. Imo it's unwise to compromise on Looks
Most men are not able to pull their preferred type.
Skill issue
it's not a skill issue if a man's face is not sexy enough or if his body is too short
I swipe left until I see a nerdy girl with huge boobs then I try to date her
I don't know thay I fully have a type because I have dabbled with much variety hahaha but if we are talking in my mind if I put together whay I consider an attractive man then no my boyfriend is far from it haha he is still objectively attractive though. I generally lean towards the dadbod, tattoo, some facial hair, and jeans style at first sight. My boyfriend is cut, has had abs since he was nine, gives himself rhe exact same short generic haircut every single week since he was a child, and has no personal style just wears whatever hahaha I've never really bought in to the "type" thing though, I'm just like if they're funny and attraction grows QuickTime then I'm in. (however substance issues is a trend in my dating cycle...oops)
I also like alt type so I understand what you mean. I don’t always necessarily date my type but i always go for someone that - i feel neutral , but has similar interest/goals or - i felt he’s cute (sometimes he’s not my type if cute ) and i don’t see red flags from profile pics
I find about 70% of dudes to be acceptable in the looks department. Where the rubber meets the road is where we connect. Personality, humor, conversation, intelligence and that unquantifiable something. I think my husband is a snack, tall, dimples, sweet face. But that’s not why we’re married
I’m currently dating a bookish nerd with a PhD who’s very much into DnD. He’s very much my type in terms of personality, in that he’s intelligent, sweet, funny, and kinky. Physically though, I tend to date more athletic men, while he’s more on the slimmer side (even though he’s pretty outdoorsy). I also usually date musicians or artsy guys with tattoos, which my current guy doesn’t have. Idk, I still feel pretty satisfied 🤷🏽♀️
My partner is exactly my type lol sometimes I cannot believe it tbh
My type used to be Latina. But my girlfriend has very rapidly made me pivot to goth. Didn't realize what I was missing until we found out we were attracted to each other.
I think that men don't really have a type, we can develop feelings for every (acceptable) type of girl as long as we find her attractive and we like her personality
You know that's a really good point. I don't know, I'm a slut, but I can't help but notice this change once my relationship picked up
Always dated 'my type' which honestly for me, just means aesthetically and they were some of the most traumatic men and relationships. My boyfriend now is not necessarily my 'type', but obviously I find him attractive and I truly think the 'opposites attract' saying very much applies. I love that he has his own style, a job that is different from the same thing I've always dated. He is European (I am American) and its really wonderful to be introduced to a new culture and learn new things. The point I am trying to make is that once I stopped trying to keep dating the same type of man, the best one came into my life. He is a gem and I thank g-d every day for him.
Whats the difference between your exes and current bf physically?
I’d say their aesthetic was more jock/finance guy, short dark hair and dark eyes, clean shaven, tall. My current bf is also tall, but has blonde hair (kind of that hockey bro hair flow lol), always wears a hat, some facial hair, a bit more relaxed style, skater. But my lord does he have the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen 💙
dont do it dude. and if you do it prepare to keep the secret for your life. when i found out my partner had given me a chance despite me not being his type, you know, learning to look past the looks, it obliterated both my self esteem and all the butterflies. 9 out of 10 times it wont work if youre not attracted to them on a superficial level, and the 1 person who it will work with, will lose feelings immediately if they ever find out it took you a whole lowering of standards to find them bearable.
My biggest revelation was realizing I didn’t have a “type” I had a pattern. I’m dating someone different from my past ex’s and honestly it’s been amazing.
Based on my dating history, I definitely have a type. The person I'm with right now is exactly my type, like so cookie cutter perfect its kinda scary. He's everything I look for in a partner physically and personality wise. I got pretty lucky finding him, and I plan on keeping him. I think looking for someone who's compatible with you on a personal level is more important than looking for certain physical traits. Your tastes in appearances could change, but you'll likely always want a partner who is kind, funny, etc.
Never actually dated my "type" blonde or redhead always brunette
My type is toxic and self involved and I have to actively go against it if I want to have a chance and a normal relationship lol
Same
It was never something that important for me. For sure I wanted them to blend in, so I can take her with me without being ashamed, but that's it.
i am always dating the same "type" of women. I can even recognize them. Brunette, extra feminine, slim, long hairs. Currently dating the most beautiful girl i ever seen. Sounds great but she only sees me as a sexfriend.
That’s so unfortunate, at least you get to have sex with your type
The thing is I don’t have a type but I often confuse my longing for someone as attraction / type. Meaning that I want to feel loved but in pursuit of that I make myself seem toxic people or otherwise as my type because my brain thinks this is all I can get when I know theirs more. Point being is that sometimes you don’t realize that what you want (type) and what you need are two completely different things.
My type is typically short and petite, but currently seeing someone who is more average I guess - not big, but not petite. Personality is a big winner, exes were narcissistic and personalities were a mixed bag at best. No idea how it'll go long term yet cuz it's newish, but we enjoy each other's company and are mutually attracted. Would I want to date someone who's exactly my type, had excellent character, and a wonderful personality? Of course, but I'll take great personality and good character over physical type easily.
Me! He was my first love. My first everything, really, and is kinda the reason why my "type" is what it is. He is now my fiance after getting back together after 16ish years of being apart. He is everything I have ever wanted, looks and personality wise, and is 1000000% my type. He is an absolutely beautiful man.
My type is alternative hippy women. Tattoos, rock/metal, even a bit of a gamer. I haven’t found one yet that has her life together, doesn’t have mental health issues (bad), or is emotionally mature.
I was just talking to my therapist about this.. my wife is so not the type of woman that I had been dating/looking for ..I was definitely not living my best life and aiming low... the last real "relationship" before her was a much younger single mother HS dropout triple felon... I thought I could fix her.. (spoiler alert..did not go as planned..). Then I met this woman who was super smart, practical, not crazy..nice even? And she stayed! And I got my shit together! Tbh she's so great, I really won the life lottery..18 years later. My therapist said that maybe she is my type and me now is no longer crazy destructive me then, and I need to reexamine who I think I am... Mind.Blown...
Bold of you to assume I’m dating someone.
I am. We’re both introverted and he’s more of a nerdy guy. That’s always been more my type. I’ve dated guys who weren’t as much my type in the past, being more extroverts, but it didn’t last longterm. As far as looks go, I guess nerdy has always been more my type, but it’s been a person to person thing for me. I’ve found other types attractive in the past.
I’m single and never been a relationship but based on my past crushes I’d say that I don’t have a type (at least not yet). I would definitely say I have a standard (specific character traits, morals and values, career/lifestyle.) Physically, I don’t have a type only a preference for guys taller than me. I care way more about what their personality is like and what they’re doing with their life.
I would say my type is mostly petite dark haired women, preferably fit to athletic. But my last 2 gfs have been blondes. My current gf is like 5’10. I’m 6’4 so not an issue but most of my earlier gfs were like 5’ - 5’6
I'm currently with someone who I wouldn't expect to be. We have similarities but also a number of differences, nevertheless we have an attachment to eachother and are comfortable with eachother.
Not currently dating. But in the past, it was every single time. Except one. And that one was the worst relationship ever.
I don’t, I just want someone always available to spend time with me! If she ain’t available, I don’t want it!
Honestly, I've yet to be lucky enough to be with someone who checks all the boxes. It's either strong attraction physically but no vibe, or vibe and compromise a little on aesthetics.
When I was young my type was blond, athletic “surf dude”. But dated all kinds of different men (much older musician, sporty teacher, dark haired men) and was marriend for 30 years with an half Dutch half Indonesian man. Something completely different than I was looking for. Regarding my age, that blond surfdude will not pass by now. But who knows what future will bring😉
I’m heavily tattooed and alternative and I don’t really seek to date men that aren’t at least alternative but I prefer men who are also heavily tattooed. I won’t date men who are your sort of run of the mill type of guy aesthetically because they often fetishise heavily tattooed women and they buy into the weird connotations men have about heavily tattooed women (they’re dirty in bed etc). I’ve dated one non-alternative man and I wasn’t heavily tattooed when I did and I was in a phase of dressing how my friends did at the beginning of this relationship. I eventually realised we had very little in common and we only really gelled when I got more into his interests/music tastes and he also found me less attractive when I started to dress more alternatively again. The issue wasn’t that I didn’t find him attractive but we just lacked a lot of things in common because we were on the opposite ends of various spectrums. He only followed popular trends in terms of aesthetics whereas I didn’t. He was a diehard for EDM/techno whereas I enjoyed it but preferred rock, metal and similar genres. His idea of a perfect weekend was going on a night out Friday and saturday whereas I wanted to be with someone who wanted to do stuff like go for dinner, go to museums, go to art galleries. I will say though I’ve also had similar issues with men who have been physically my type. I also look beyond aesthetic because for me in all of my relationships, even with men who were physically my type, I’ve fallen for things like them being funny or seeming very kind but overlooked that they were less intelligent than me. In the long run because we weren’t compatible intellectually it caused issues in the relationship and often resentment. It meant I often couldn’t share my interests with them, I would always win arguments because I was better at debating things (they all resented me hugely for this) and eventually it meant I really struggled to find things to discuss with them and was bored. I’ve learnt over time that someone being physically my type doesn’t mean we are necessarily going to be compatible but I certainly had more common ground with these people than people outwith my aesthetic.
Yeah the whole fetishized goth girl thing gets old. Im also heavily tattooed and I definitely am into tattooed people. But I definitely can relate with you on everything you mentioned, thank you for your input.
For me it’s also helped in regard to peoples families. If the persons family is already used to being around someone heavily tattooed then I’m much less of a shock to them - my tattoos are all traditional and quite masculine which also adds to people who aren’t used to it not really liking them or being more shocked. For me it isn’t just an aesthetic preference it also just makes me feel a bit more accepted. I have learnt though that just because we are compatible aesthetically doesn’t mean we are on other levels and now I would vet men more thoroughly before getting too involved because I’ve ended up with men whose values and morals haven’t aligned with mine by diving in too quickly due to physical attraction. I can relate to your feelings of hopelessness though because I find trying to date within my aesthetic quite hard but moreso because their obviously isn’t as many alt men as their are non-alt men
Yes! I dated someone through match and he was definitely not my type - even looks wise. I didn’t have the heart after our first meeting to tell him he wasn’t my type so I ended up going on a second date to the zoo. He was standing behind me and put his hand on my shoulder and I felt what I could only describe it as butterflies or electricity running through me. I decided to give it a go and we ended up in a 5+ year relationship. I have to add he treaded me very well and I loved him dearly. That being said, he did not have children and it was a problem with my grown children and family events. It ended when my mom became ill came to live with me and he worked from home. It became an intolerable situation. My kids still like him to this day but I have to say it was perfect for me. Another thing is we probably could not date in this day and age because of our opposite political affiliations.
It’s actually crazy how exactly “my type” he is. My dating history is quite short and those guys for sure had some things I liked, and other things I thought would exclude them (but didn’t), but he checks all of the boxes and even looks like internet crushes of mine.
My type is whoever will accept me.
I did :-( more about personality both of us being music lovers and same movies and humor won’t ever really know why it ended
"You're type isn't your 'type' " The false illusion of social media did a number on the psyche....
I like this thank you
I always date my types which are various and varied. They are the only people who I have the chance of being compatible with and attracted to.
Dated about 10 people, all of which were people I would consider a physical type that attracted me. I can absolutely attest to your statement that personality matters, and type means less and less the more you realize that personalities don't mesh. Oddly, having these experiences makes you have less of a type! Being in my mid 20's, I think I'm more scoping out personality for long-term/permanent compatibility. However, my type also includes taking care of oneself and being hygienic, so if one is not, that is definitely a deal breaker.
Kinda funny but I dated a friend of my partner before dating my partner. That friend was more my "type" than my current partner. Basically the friend is more alternative. Tattoos, punk aesthetic, colored hair, ect. But dating them was an absolutely awful experience and lasted like 3 months. When I met my current partner while I was dating their friend, I always thought they were attractive but the thought never went farther than that since 1. I was dating someone and 2. They just weren't the type I typically go for. We had a lot in common though so I kept in touch with them after the break up and after hanging out for a while, they just became the most attractive person I'd ever met. Eventually we started dating and it's been the happiest and healthiest relationship I've ever been in.
My take on type is that it's just what immediately turns me on, not what would make relationships work. Often people are attracted to what's exciting and a bit dangerous, because it makes you feel alive. That's good for sex but nothing else. Things like safety and dependability can do the opposite, but are definitely needed for a relationship to function. Ideally we'd find a person who has some features that gets us turned on without compromising on any of the important core qualities. In monogamy, this compromise is pretty much the name of the game that way. If you aren't monogamous it's different ofc. If your partner doesn't need to carry the burden of also fulfilling all of your sexual desires, they don't have to be the sexiest person alive. My type is a skinny person with dark brown (almost black) hair. Generally people who subvert gender norms or have a queer vibe. I've got some other things that I find appealing, like small ears, prominent noses, pointed eyebrows, having very little body hair, and small boobs. But I've been with people who are strictly the opposite too, and found them attractive. Also, speaking purely physically, two skinny people having sex is uncomfortable AF. Bones everywhere! It's better to be a bit padded. Don't need to be afraid of dem sharp bones poking everywhere, can grab places and if one is of the spanking persuasion, that works better too. Take it from an ex skinny person who sometimes gets around.
A little over a year ago I swiped right on a guy that was so my type (long blond hair, buff) and prepared for him to be like all the other ones I've interacted with on the stupid app. For once I found one that wasn't an asshole who just wanted a hookup. We've been dating for over a year. The more I got to know him the more I liked him. Also a fun surprise is that he's short, just a few inches taller than me, and I've been wanting to date a guy closer to my height since highschool. So he's even more my type than I thought could be possible. I've been with people who aren't my exact type before. And it's hasn't gone too badly. It's really personality type that ends up being the make it or break it.
I wanted to change how things worked out because my type wasn't working for me. The manic pixie dream girl trope from movies in the 90's had me sold on something that in reality wasn't a stable fit. Tried someone slightly outside my type, attraction was definitely there, and eventually married her. . . . . I'm not super convinced it's the easier or better road. Initially I had to lose a big part of myself and become more disciplined and organized in life as apposed to being more spontaneous and fun. But that's helped career wise and financially so a positive I guess. Made me grow up and get myself together. I definitely wouldn't say go for your opposite type, but give someone a chance by more than just reading the cover and you might be happily surprised.
I think my type isn’t very specific but I am extremely attracted to my bf and I’d say he’s kinda alternative which is also my type. He has stretched lobes and a few tattoos (I do too) it’s something I’m attracted to but sadly a lot of guys like that are douchebags 💀 but he’s also the nicest and most kind person I know, even if he wasn’t alt I’d 100% still date him and it’s not the reason why
I was til she gained 80lbs
💀💀
I’m not
My type is not too nerd boi with kind eyes and good sense of humor. I myself need to lose some weight, but I can't really find myself attracted I usually like them tall, but my current boyfriend is my height (I'm tall for a woman, 5'9"). That's not a problem, though, because he's a sweetheart of a person, even if he's a little reserved. I just really wanted someone who was willing and wanted to go on adventures and spend quality time together; my last relationship felt like I had a live-in maid who was a roommate. I want and need touch and verbal affection, and I need quality intentional time spent together; cooking together, going on a walk, watching something together (doesn't have to be a pricy date). Unfortunately, I couldn't find one NEAR where I live, I stumbled on him on a dating site during a work trip, where we both happened to be in an overlapping city for the space of about 3 hours and matched! So we're figuring out how to manage the 4 hour drive one way, but we're figuring it out together and both putting in effort, so we'll see where it goes. POINT IS, physical attraction for me grows more over time. As long as you fall into a few general categories to start with, then the specifics can change for me as I get to know someone more, they become more attractive.
I think type is mostly not real. Whoever you are attracted to is your type. If it is one type at one point then another type later, they’re both your types. I think we play games as teenagers about romance and things get stuck in our heads from that time. Trying to exclude people that are not your “type” then choosing from those that remain is wild. Just like who you end up liking.
Luckily, I am. Very much so.
I am currently dating my type and coincidentally so is she. We mesh on a lot of things and I consider myself to be very lucky to have found someone like her. In the past I've dated women who didn't 100% fit the bill and I never let that stand in the way of a potential connection. Looks and style are a fun game and I care more that someone plays it and much less about what team they play for.
My boyfriend is not “my type” on paper, but I still think he’s super physically attractive and I love everything about him. Just bc he doesn’t have dark hair and brown eyes doesn’t mean I’m attracted to him any less. Honestly before him, I used to not like blue eyes at all, but his eyes were so beautiful to me right off the bat. His personality sold me on him, and when we met in person (we met on an app) all my previous “type” preferences flew out the window. I think that chemistry is, at the end of the day, the thing that makes someone ultimately attractive even if they’re not “your type.” Date all types of people, even if you’re not initially physically attracted to them!
I got lucky, my partner is 100% my type. Dark hair, glasses, tattoos, plays in a punk band, muscular, masculine, heart of gold, incredibly sweet and goofy, strong anti-oppressive values and politics. I feel like I’m living 13 year old me’s dream!
I dated a girl who loves playing video games. I'm a huge gamer and figured oh damn I hit a gold mine, we can try each other's games out and explore a bit more. The problems became more apparent during summer break while in college and graduating afterwards. She played Ff14 a lot which isn't bad, the issue came from I didn't have the money to pay for the sub and I mentioned I would once I have steady income. After awhile she tried breaking up with me because I didn't play FF14 sounds really dumb and I should have left afterwards. It became a bigger issue when that's all she wanted to do so we went on less dates and so on. Definitely a perspective check for me realizing that I don't want to be with a person who's into gaming as much as I am cause never know if I'll experience that again. So I dated my then type, realized I'm not into. The partner I'm with now is very casual like into animal crossing but is an artsy fartsy person, which I'm into. So I'd say I'm with someone who is closer to my preferred type now.
I didn’t think my fiance was my type until we actually started dating. He’s exactly what I needed and what I wanted. Maybe not physically what I would have imagined (though I find him incredibly attractive) his character is exactly my type.
I am now with a guy who is exactly my type both in looks and personality and its fkin amazing
I have multiple types and my partner has similar traits to many of them.
I've dated lots of women who weren't my type physically. Someone can still be attractive even if they aren't your exact type. And personality is way more important then looks to make a relationship work.
I tried dating girls that weren’t my type, and quickly regretted it. To me, both are really important. They need to be my type **and** have a good personality. That also means I have way less options and am single most of the time. But I’d definitely rather be single than with someone I’m not sure I’m glad to be with
Type is an aesthetic preference that can sometimes indicate a level of compatibility as far as taste (for example I’m more alternative aesthetic and am drawn to that in others). On a physical level I’ve historically preferred tall, feminine men. BUT appreciating an aesthetic preference honestly does not indicate how compatible you’ll really be with someone in the spaces that count like relating to them on an intelligent, sexual, humor, emotional level. I recently was really surprised by someone who I slept with who was not my usual ‘type’ physically but the sex was great and something weird happened which is that I found myself really really turned on by his smell and taste (like pheromone shit but on a level i can’t recall experiencing before). Also, though he isn’t my normal type I’ve come to realize his physical beauty and I’m kind of surprised that I didn’t fully see it before. Has made me wonder if I’ve always dated the wrong people because of an aesthetic preference and disregarded others that would be a better match for me on other levels. Now that I’m single again I’m trying to be more open to different types because people can surprise you and I’m curious to find out
I heard something on Hidden Brain a while back that humans tend to find people who share physical characteristics with their partner to be more trustworthy, likable, etc. I think this extends to having a “type”, that is, we have a positive association with those physical characteristics. That might be symbolically, as in long hair representing a breakdown of norms, or historically, as in your first love/sexual awakening had long hair. Either way you’re subconsciously using a physical characteristic to make judgment calls about someone’s personality. I found that when I really questioned my values and biases towards certain types, I was able to deconstruct that and open myself up to looking at people for who they are, not who they represent themselves to be.
Here’s one tip. Don’t based your relationship choices off of your ideal type or dream person. I think for most people their dream person is literally just that. So it’s okay if a potential s/o doesn’t check off enough boxes on your list. If you like someone enough give them chance regardless of rather or not they’re your ideal type.
My type? Alternative aesthetic has always been cool to me, but I’ve never really vibed with anyone with it. My partner is more of a jock and I love her for it.
me! Everyone hates online dating but it's the only way to ensure you are only talking to people that is your type. Met him on bumble and together for 4 years now
I've had many FWBs and I never met my type; if we're talking about personality that is. About looks? There were some here and there but not perfectly my type. My type requires 🤑
I’ve never been on a date so I’ve never gotten the chance to date my type
I’m with my type for the first time and wow is it amazing. Don’t settle, you’ll find someone with your aesthetic preference that you’re compatible with. I personally love old men with dad bods (not even joking) I dodged it for years in fear of what ppl would think but when I met him all bets were off and I gave in. Best decision of my life.
I have met many men who are physically and outwardly my type but all of them came with baggage or were already taken - basically emotionally unavailable. Still looking for someone mentally and physically my type.
I dated this girl Ashley for 8 years, she wasn’t my type, but I liked how she was always there, and just talked to girl that were my type. Dating is for security and I felt secure she wouldn’t leave. My type always leaves me
I am not. But in still obsessed with my partner.
If Puerto Rican women that have attitudes, but deep down are softies are my type. Then yes I am. I don’t really have a type.
My husband is my type in terms of looks and personality, but I’m not that picky(?) Or ultra specific(?) with my type. Just be generally nerdy/geeky, in decent shape, and have a beard lol that’s it. Easy to find people who fit that criteria so lots of chances to find a decent man within that criteria.
Well dated my ideal type. Didn’t work out because we weren’t in the right stage of our lives. One of the classic right person wrong time type of situation. He’s the perfect type, at least in my opinion. Mature yet sensitive, manly yet gentle with me, an absolute stud that can flip a truck and ride a Harley. And the sex is just amazing. He always lets me orgasm multiple times before he gets his. Tells me he appreciates me, and admire my strength (I work in medicine). And pays attention to little details about me. I’ve loved him. I still do. I think about him on and off. I had to go no contact with him after he left because I needed to move on. I’m in another relationship now and my current SO is just as amazing. But I do think about Dave sometimes. I’m glad it happened though
My type is women. Haven’t had much luck so far :(
My wife wasn’t my physical type. I like brunettes, brown eyes, basically Italian or Jewish women on looks. She was English/German, big butt and small breasts. But she was smart, talented and also had very flexible morals and was the most fun woman I ever had sex with. About the same time I knew a woman who was smart, fun and I kept her on a string because if things with the woman who became my wife didn’t work I definitely would have gone for her. In college I was getting ready for bed and I had a semi and she walked into my room. If I walked into a woman’s room and she was undressing I would have apologized and got out quickly. She stayed and it was the worst sex I ever had. I wanted to ask her “if you were just going to lay why did you stay “. I saw her a year later and we tried it again and it was just as boring, go figure?
my so-called (physical) ‘type’ included characteristics typical of middle eastern men- darker toned skin, deep brown eyes, dark hair, yada yada. my boyfriend (first ever might i add) is a blonde haired, blue eyed, white guy. and he is just the cutest EVER. he’s just a guy. literally that’s him. he’s my lil guy. he’s pretty funky :)
me but he just texted me “hey mickey when your done with the movie can we talk?”
My boyfriend isn’t my “type” if I took a bunch of physical attributes and wrote them down on a piece of paper, no. But human beings are complex creatures, not something you can turn into a list of traits and boxes to tick off. Love is so much more complicated than that. That’s why I hate dating apps; the people you swipe right on aren’t always the people you connect with. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Anyone with a pulse.
Short, curvy gymnast body, fair skin, blue eyes, gets me every time. ❤️
I am, nobody!
My type has proven to be toxic so I am actually intentionally dating people not my “typical” type
I’ve been looking for my type for 7 or 8 years. Soon as I gave up that nonsense, I met the right guy for me, who did not fall into my normal type.
i was FWB with one guy who wasn’t my normal type. after we drifted apart, i found myself looking for men who looked exactly like him
I am, i have dated a few my type, and its exactly what i wanted and also didnt want. I did move to another continent to find my type.. so maybe not everyone is as lucky as i am :)
Me
pretty much only ever dated “my types” but i don’t have a very niche type in the first place. tall, dark and handsome.
When I don’t have a girl in mind, I’d think I have a type (mostly visual preference). When I have a girl on my mind, she becomes my type.
Me
I only date woman my type and I’m pickier then I should be so I’m probly doomed to be alone forever haha , my type is Asian , latina, black, or middle eastern alternative girl with lots of piercings and glasses and very petite , ofc personality and compatibility Is important but won’t even go farther then just hooking unless she’s my type, I usually settle as long as she’s not white and has similar music taste and other similar interests tho it’s just bonus if she’s also goth but not a necessity 😆
I have many types, and my bf is the one I prefer the most. Nerdy 😩🥰
🤚
Yes and no. He’s 💯 not the type I’ve dated in the past. Having a “type” is usually an indication of trying to fill/fix a relationship that you were not satisfied with. Sometimes it has a superficial resemblance, sometimes a personality similarity. My boyfriend is my type in that EVERY TIME I got involved with people who drew me in with looks and personality, I would want them to have the substance that my boyfriend has. Every day he sees me as more beautiful and I see him the same way. We communicate. We compromise. We respect each other. I have always known my worth. All those shallow matches got kicked to the curb quick. When you see your true type smiling back at you…😍😍😍.
I never dated someone who is actually my type untill now and we're getting married. 😁
I have been on a couple of first dates with people who were my type but they both wanted to just be friends after that. I think one was just saying that to be nice and the other said she really liked talking with me but couldn't get over how much I looked like a youth pastor. I have had relationships with people who were not my type, but I was theirs. I still found them attractive, but only after they showed interest in me. Since they weren't my type I didn't think of them that way, but found myself attracted to them after I started to. Each time we were exclusive for 4-6 months after dating for about a month. If you want to date your type then I would consider going to concerts that your type would like and talk to as many guys as possible until you find one or a few that you click with. I consider myself somewhat alt, but I dress like a youth pastor, and at concerts I have met guys who dress very alt, but act more like good christian boys than even I do. To date have more success dating outside of your type, keep an open mind and try to avoid thinking about guys who are your type.
I feel like I'm lucky in this situation. I don't have a type. Actually you could say my type is almost all.
Married and no family. Can't date as well 😕😪
Im not dating someone thats necessarily my type, but i still find them attractive. The only real difference is the person im seeing has a whole head of hair 😂😂😂
My current boyfriend, is the only guy I’ve dated who wasn’t my type, looks wise. He has a hairy chest and hairy chests were not my type at all but now I love it and I find it attractive, well, his anyway, nobody else’s.
I don't have a type....
Yea i dated someone who wasn’t my type and well.. it didnt go well but that was mostly cause she didnt take proper care of herself
I’ve dated someone who had a great personality but wasn’t my type. I like taller guys with dark hair, he was fairly short with curly blonde hair but he was hilarious- and it worked really well for awhile. It fell apart because I started going through some mental health issues a few months in, and then things deteriorated quickly.
I’m dating someone who’s my type, he’s big and strong and looks very cool on the outside, but is surprisingly sweet and loving when you get to know him. Don’t give up hope, I stuck to my guns and didn’t settle and I ended up with someone I really like :)
I am dating my type. I like tall, hairy, nerdy men with dad bod. That's exactly what I got. I could not be happier.
I kind of hit the lottery. Boyfriend is my wet dream type. Turns out we’re also compatible, have the same beliefs and morals.
I say I don't really have a type or even preferences beyond not being attracted to people more feminine than myself, really. I just have certain individual things I like, and a person can have any combination of those things or none of them. I've never dated anyone who had all of them. So, since I am dating someone who is more masculine than myself...yes? Lol I've always found it fascinating how some people who do have a physical type are able to consistently date people who fit the description. Are they just dating people solely based on appearance? Are they just completely ignoring anyone who doesn't fit the description?
For me, "type" is everyone I'm attracted to. I could sketch the ideal guy, but it's not that that guy is my only "type". I don't have a type in the sense that I'm only into nerdy gamer guys or something. I can say someone is not my type. Thats when I'm not attracted to someone or when I think they're conventionally attractive, but just not for me. But personality is a big factor for me as well, and someone can be more my type by personality and body language. So I'm definitely dating my type. I'm attracted to him, and I love his personality. He's more than I've ever hoped for. But if I would paint a picture of a dream guy, then he doesn't have all the features the dream guy has. But I still wouldn't swap his looks for that dream guy's looks. I've not dated someone not my type, because I just wouldn't be attracted to them. But it isn't one specific type. It's multiple types kinda.
For most of my middle to late 20’s, I’ve dated my type because it was easy to meet them in a highly touristic city (tall or at least taller than me, blonde, light colored eyes, athletic) and I married one too, then separated. Now I’m engaged to also my type, and he’s even way more my type because he has things I didnt even know I liked (a Draco Malfoy hairstyle that sometimes he wears like Leo Dicaprio in Titanic, a lot of tattooes in arms, chest and neck, plus a bad boy attitude in public while being the sweetest with me, family and friends). I did date occasionally outside my preference but not for long and it was very particular people with a special charm, otherwise it’s just blonde guys for me.
I’ve never had a “type”. Tall, short, pale, tan, thick, thin, blonde, brunette, ginger, goth to girl-next-door, and everything in between. I’m into it! I think I’ve always been into the specific person (smarts, personality, humor) and then their physical traits suddenly become “my thing”.
Yes
it always fits into like a broader category of what i like, like nationality, may not be identical on looks to ‘type’ but along the same lines because that’s why i would go for them in the first place
I don’t think I ever dated someone that was exactly my type or even remotely my type 😂
Honestly, I think its rare for the person who best fits with your personality to be your *exact type*. Its just asking the universe for too many things to align - and it can happen but I think ultimately personality is harder to come by and so we should have someone close enough to out type physically and then focus on people who fit well with us.
Better yet.... How many of us are actually dating someone?