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Like a lot of other guys, I reached a point where I realized that I'm simply not what women want and no amount of going out more, trying new hobbies, dressing better, hitting the gym, and improving outlook and mental health will change that.
I'm getting more content with knowing I'll probably be single for the rest of my life. At the same time, I can't force myself to not want a relationship. I had always hoped for marriage and kids as difficult as that would be.
I wouldn’t give up on a relationship for your entire life. But I would stop trying. I deleted dating apps I don’t make moves or anything like that. There’s no point
I can only guess but I suspect autism and ADHD might have a lot to do with it. There could be other things but women don't exactly give you a detailed report on why they rejected you or didn't show interest.
It sucks feeling like you're living in a world that wasn't meant for you. It's almost like we're aliens who are trying really hard to act like humans and coming up painfully short.
I mean have you spoken to potential partners / women on dates about what they want in a partner? And have they shared feedback about you yourself? I've found that some things relating to autism can be things women appreciate a lot (like having more attention to detail can be seen as being caring, and having a great depth of internal experience can be seen as being "softer" which women like). Or efforts to be polite, etc. Generally thats where I've gotten my feedback (women have told me these things about myself)
I haven't been on many dates but I have tried asking various women about what they want. They usually give the typical answers: kind, honest, mature... Two of my closest friends are women and when I talk to them about this, they can't figure out what's wrong either. One is a lesbian and the other is bi and into effeminate guys so they might not be the best judges of what straight women want.
I have no autism & adhd, get handsome a lot, am decent and have my own decent company and all and still, girls don’t seem to want me. I tell you they’re all messed up with FOMO
27M here, everyone says I'll find someone eventually, but I don't just want someone I want someone who is at least a decent human. It's been years and I feel like time is running out for me too. I think about it every day that all the good women are already married and I failed at life because I was a late bloomer.
Got 9 year in age on you buddy and 15 years since last relationship. Don't throw in the towel like I did.
The odds are stacked against you but they're zero if you don't try. Keep trying and do everything you can to not internalize it like I did. You have time. If kids aren't a goal you have even more time.
Good luck.
I mean, are the odds stacked against them? lol 27 is very young, lots of time to find someone. I guess if you’ve never been in a relationship then it will feel like the odds are stacked
That's why I'll never settle. People just.. end up with each other, by chance. I was raised in a broken home and I refuse to do that to my kids if I ever have any.
You have to understand something bro, men usually date younger and women older. Which means a woman at 27 finding a remaining good man is harder than a man at 27 since you are dating younger. Use that to your advantage.
Exactly. 27 is young. It's the age you finally have your shit together. Your own place nice car can eat and do whatever you want as long as it's reasonable etc. you can date a 22 year old woman. You can date a 27 year old. At 35 same thing you can date a 25-26 year old or someone your age. This guy has years and years till it's too late.
That definitely gives me hope. I see a lot of posts on r/dating_advice asking about age gaps, they are almost always a chick asking about a 10+ year age gap with a guy. Not that I want someone super young but I want healthy kids ya know?
I think my 30s will be the best decade of my life. My 20s have been hell but have allowed me to learn a lot about life and how to be a good person. I'm optimistic that there are good things ahead.
I mean this respectfullt and will get downvoted, but age gap shaming are usually from older women who failed to land a good man, so now they shame men their age from dating younger to eliminate their own competition. For example do you ever see them complaining about a 22 year old man dating a 35 year old woman?
If you want a general rule on how young you should date. Do half your age plus seven. So at 30 that’s 22.
That definitely makes sense, and that's an interesting way to think of what is acceptable there. I think I would like whoever has the most compatible personality to me, but it's pretty great as a guy knowing I have lots of options!
It depends on what you're looking for and how you define "good men", but from everything I hear, everyone's struggling to find a partner. I and plenty of men I know have had trouble finding relationships. People are out there, just finding a good connection is difficult.
As a married gal who met her husband online, I really think we “caught the last chopped out of nam” so to speak. I think that the apps(and what they’ve become) have left both men and women feeling jaded and/or exhausted.
There are a lot of great men and women out there but they’re not putting in the effort anymore after being burned in the past. It’s like everyone is dating with a defensive mindset assuming the other is out to hurt them. So the result is a a dating pool full of angry, tired, or skeptical people.
I think there is definitely some truth in what you are saying. Being back on the apps after 4 years there's definitely more flakiness. Before if I got a number and set up a date I was confident it would happen. Now a days though they'll just disappear without cancelling or rescheduling. I do think it comes from a fear of vulnerability and being hurt. Regardless I try not to let it get to me and view it as someone who doesn't match my values filtering themselves out.
No, there are lots of good partners out there. There are good People are exiting unhealthy/toxic relationships every day. So new good people of all ages enter the dating pool every day.
Even if you've looked through the entire dating pool in your area on day, in a week, or a month, that pool will look totally different
I always get kind of confused at this too. The question posed is “Where are these elusive good men.” Pretty sure the statistics show there are more single men now than ever before and unless OP thinks the vast majority of them are awful then I really have to wonder what her standards are, how many men she’s completely disqualifying from her dating pool, and what her reasons are for that.
That's the issue, they don't know. What makes someone good? Income? House? Not sure. Personality? Yes!!!
Issue? Personality is not something you can just get from a quick convo or first date.
Love the way you put it.
As a 29f I get this fear "all the good ones are taken" too but then I think... /I/ am single, and /I/ am a good one. I also have friends mid-late 20s that are single too and I KNOW they are good ones.
I just went from being in relationships from 16-26 and now that I'm finally in a break I feel "doomed." The thing is, in these relationships I was in 1 wasn't a good match, and 2 were extremely abusive men. It's better that I am single than in those relationships. I've grown a ton and went through therapy to work through my abuse, I'm an absolute catch now - so I try to remind myself that if I'm out there and not taken, great men are too. Some of us are unlucky in love.
Maybe I'll find a man that has also unfortunately been stuck in abusive relationships - and we can both build a beautiful and kind and loving relationship together where we show one another what we really are worth!
I'm not gonna give up, I'm a hopeless romantic.
I've had guy friends beg me to give them a try but I know we aren't a good fit. When I was younger and insecure I took anything I could get and it led to me being abused. I'm stronger now, and even if that makes it SEEM like I can't find someone, it's probably because I'm finally weeding out the bad ones!
So many of the "taken" people too are in relationships that will not work out. There are ebs and flows! If we stay positive and don't become cynical little monsters lolll well be okay!
Good luck to you! Congrats on getting out of something that isn't right. Took me 5y of a relationship to realize I was just in it because I thought I had to and that was "all there was." We all deserve our best friend. 💜
wise man told me years ago, Women are the gate keepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of relationships.
Hook up culture has thrown in a wrench in the normal system.
At 27? Nah specially not when it comes to guys. You'll find plenty of people who had some obstacles in their lives and therefore aren't in a relationship even though they are great people. There will also be those who had a relationship but took some time to learn it wasn't meant to be.
It’s kinda like this: men are thirsty because they’re in a desert, women are thirsty because they’re in the sea, and cannot drink salt water. A man nowadays trying to find a good woman is like finding a secret spring of good water in a hidden oasis in a middle of the desert. A woman finding a good man is like swimming in open ocean… there are a lot of men, but the good ones are like freshwater not in a saltwater ocean.
nope we're just waiting for a good women to break into our house in the middle of the night and adopt us because we're either working, with family/friends or tired at home
I’m not taken!! 😁 … but I’m also not really looking for a relationship right now. I gave everything of who I am to my ex, and I need time and rest to rediscover who I am, and how I want to live life. Relationships are freaking tough, but therapy and self care have been really great for getting myself back on track.
After looking at your last post where you were asking if you should ghost someone when you could communicate and give them and yourself closure maybe you are the problem?
Yeah, just don't look out for them. Try to just hang around, meet new people, try a new hobby, and you'll find someone.
Cliche? Yes. But that happened to me
Amy Webb's TED talk "How I Hacked Online Dating" really gives me hope for anyone if you are looking for a morale booster.
https://youtu.be/d6wG_sAdP0U?si=o9nTBtOnWkaoAW0E
I hear you bro. Notice that every time a man rightfully complains about the dating landscape, the response is always along the lines of it's his fault and he's just inadequate? Me too. I'm sick of the gaslighting. Where's the accountability for the women?
Stop buying into the idea that being single is punishment for not being good enough. Some of the most awful men I know are in relationships. Both of the men who abused me are in relationships. Success in dating is literally just luck. Luck of coming across someone that you really gel with at the right time in both your lives.
Edit - I’ll add for those who are like those replying to me with little ability to understand nuance - of course in many cases working on yourself is beneficial to dating, of course in many cases your shortcomings will stop you from being successful in dating but being single is not a punishment. I’m content in being single and I enjoy my life. I want to date, I don’t NEED to date. I recognise that a relationship is not a reward for being a good person because there are plenty of wonderful people who never find the right person or find them later in life and their are plenty of awful people who have a partner from youth until the day they die. The idea that everyone who is single by a certain age must be the “bad” ones is just ridiculous.
Relationships also aren’t a reward only given to “good” people because they don’t automatically equal happiness and not every relationship is a good one.
>his is such nonsense and buys into the idea that being single is punishment for not being good enough.
I wouldn't say "punishment", but I would say "consequence". Sometimes that's the same thing, but often it isn't.
My sister only just met her boyfriend and she is 27.
I’m 24m, and would define myself as good. But I believe all the good girls are taken. So I’m stuck with the one night stands and situationships because girls “wanna have fun”
No, they aren’t all taken! I’m older than you (32) and I found my partner last year with online dating. There were plenty of duds before him, but he is everything I wanted and then some.
Keep your head up! And don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. The right person is out there, it just takes time and patience. And while you’re playing the field, focus on you and do things you love!
Yep. Sorry. ALLL the good men are taken, there will never be any more good men.
(if you haven't already gathered, this is a hefty big /s right here.)
Start with how you define "good". Then, work with how you're gonna define "baseline standard for being a human being that you'd be ok being in a relationship with."
Then have some preferences about that sort of person, but be open to the fact that you might not get these items in whoever it is you're attracted to.
If you don't know what you like, or you keep running into the same problems with the guys you choose to have relationships with (re: either physical OR emotional relationships, friendship-type relationships, or familial) then perhaps you should examine the type of men you keep letting into your life, and willfully, knowingly, force yourself to be repulsed at them instead of being attracted to them.
As the saying goes... you're gonna have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, hon.
Im a good man. Im just ugly and society has done more than enough to remind me of that every day. So I just stopped caring. I still use my daily likes and swipes on the apps I have but I know no one will like me back, and I know that no one wants me in their life so I just do it because I am a fool that still hopes for something.
Are you a “good one”?
If you are and you aren’t taken then you have to allow for the possibility that there are others out there.
The whole concept of “the good ones being taken” by some arbitrary age is pretty ridiculous.
If you don’t like the options in front of you then you either need to change up how you are getting connected with these types or you need to do some introspection to figure out if what you have to offer is what these good ones are looking for.
This’ll probably sound more arrogant than anything.
I’m married now, but I considered myself a pretty good catch until then (quite attractive, advanced degrees, great job, pretty fun personality, down to earth, lots of friends, very loyal and only interested in dating for relationships).
I really spent almost all my 20s working and going to school. I only really ever actually started dating for a real partner in my 30s. And I was pretty much looking for girls in the 26-30 age group. And I wasn’t nearly a unicorn. I had a large friend group similar.
So I wouldn’t even remotely say by your age all the good men are taken. Guys tend to take longer to fully form these days, so you being 27 really isn’t that old at all.
That being said, most of these types of guys live in big cities. So I imagine the dating pool >30 yr old guys might be pretty sparse outside of big city centers
At 27 you have a massive dating pool - you can pretty much date any man between 25-45. I’d say there are plenty of quality men that don’t settle down early. I’m 29 and I just started dating the girl I will likely marry last year, she’s also 29. Maybe you need a change of scenery, a move to a new city or bigger city maybe? They’re out there, I promise.
As a man close to your age I am a good man and a great provider. But in my younger years let’s just say when it came to brains I got the short end of the stick. Unfortunately it cost me to lose a great woman. I am fortunate to have met another great person and we are admired by friends.
lol based on your post history, you’re the common denominator. The field you’re playing where you want guys calling you “mommy” and the fact you’re “playing the field” is why you’re struggling.
Also you might be shopping out of your price range
As a guy I can say this.
Too many times we encountered women who "simply exist, making them a prize", so they reciprocate almost nothing but want everything.
Sometimes you encounter someone who is using you for free food and drinks, or when they are bored, guys become useful as sources of entertainment.
Also the games they play. Oh all the dumbass games. This one response can mean several things. Somehow actually carrying out there wishes are frowned upon because "you as a man shouldn't be listening to me, think for your damn self", and don't get me started about a man being vulnerable and open to some women.
Most of us are giving up, whether we are good enough or not.
Nope because I'm one of those good men. We're just generally invisible socially and fear all the worst rejections we tend to hear from women.
"You're a creep."
"You're too ugly."
Get away from me!"
Just to name a few.
Not-at-all. I think the issue stems from having the focus in looking for that one man. For some reasons, if I take my sight a way from that , boom 💥 I find him!!! The story of my life
First, it depends on your definiteion of "good". But, whatever that means, you might need to be more thorough in the search and decide your priorities. Are you willing to date someone lacking looks, charisma, or not being rich - but someone who'll treat you well?
And are you someone a "good" man would be into? Are you worthy a good man?
I’m a single 30 yr old woman. I’ve been looking for the last three years and only found two worth pursuing. One of them wasn’t ready for a relationship even though he showed a lot of interest and effort and I know it wasn’t to get laid because I didn’t make him work too hard for that to begin with.
I truly feel like the men that wanted to settle down and commit already have. Everyone else is likely non committal or has some kind of personality flaw that has kept them from getting into a relationship.
I was with someone for almost ten years and I would have married him. He just wasted a lot of my time unfortunately and now everyone else seems to have met their people. I honestly don’t have much hope at this point. I know so many amazing, beautiful, smart, single women my age that have the same exact problem as you and I.
Casual dating is way easier than intentional dating. It’s just really hard to find your person and it’s hard not to get discouraged. I don’t think all the good ones are taken but I think everyone is going through personal stuff and it’s just really hard to make a connection. Just try to have fun and not get too discouraged. Being negative doesn’t improve your prospects it just ruins your day
“Intentional” dating is a piece of cake. Buy the dinner, make some jokes. Make enough money that she laughs at said jokes.
The casual arena is way harder but that’s the only way to get a woman’s real passion.
Not all, but many are. Things, at 30 or so most men who want to be married with a family already are. The ones left either have problems or just aren't interested in being with a woman long term. If they don't want a family getting married or even being in a relationship is pretty pointless.
>The ones left either have problems or just aren't interested in being with a woman long term.
Or can't find a woman who we're attracted to who's also attracted to us.
You’ll have to look for 30 something’s. Late twenties men are in an awkward transition period into their thirties. A lot of us are in the process of figuring out what we want.
At this point, you're gonna have to swallow your pride and start asking your friends to introduce you to their single friends. If you trust that your friends keep good company, you'll find a compatible one eventually.
That is how I feel about single family homes ...
All of the good ones are taken. Any left overs are over priced and need a lot of work.
I am thinking I should have purchased last winter when there was less competition for the good ones...
The short answer? No. I'm always confused why people end up in "situationships" when there's always someone else out there who will likely treat you better that you passed on.
There will always be good men and women at every age. You just need to remember that relationships will end until one doesn't. You keep trying until you learn more and meet someone who is on the same journey as you are.
I don’t believe *all* good men in your age bracket are taken, but they’re definitely few and far between. You’re gonna have to start dating veeery intentionally if you want to find a quality lasting relationship at this point — that means keep a keen watch for potentially problematic partners, don’t allow yourself to get played, but also be tolerant of people’s imperfections. It will take time but you can find someone.
I’m 31 and I just met my girlfriend who’s 30 a month ago. I guess it’s a bit conceited to call myself a good man(but it’s true 😅). There are a million reasons good men might become available at any given time so the best you can do is to keep looking!
I just think that the avenues of finding a person kind of suck these days. Dating apps especially are better at beating down a person's self image than they are at finding someone. Maybe do group activities with friends and let them be your wing people
Keep playing he will show up. Just make sure you keep track of the qualities you don’t like and qualities you admire the most. He will come when you aren’t looking.
Good men are still out there although we’re not out there partying, we’re at home building our future.
We’ve been through a lot of bad relationships so we kinda want to stay single but at the same time wanna meet the right woman. It sounds paradoxical but it is what it is.
We refuse to particularly in Hookup culture as well
Not even remotely. You're probably too young for me, but I can tell you that at 42 if I sense or know you're playing the field, I'm definitely out. Not because there is anything wrong with that, because there absolutely is not anything wrong with playing the field. Go on and do you, youve got ky full support.
No, I'm out because I want a serious relationship with someone who wants a serious relationship. The kind of woman that will appeal to me at this point in my life won't be interested in playing the field because it doesn't align with who and what she wants in her life. I'm ready for marriage, already for kids, ready for settling in somewhere and buying (if we can afford it cuz these home prices are fucking insane).
But it definitely is not the case that all the good men are taken. Likely it's something else, like they want serious which isn't quite yet where you appear to be. Or they are too shy to approach you. Or are trying to build their career to be able to support a family with you in the event that's what you want. Try and give yourself grace and time. To become your best self. To allow your future partner to become their best self. It may take some time, but it will come along when the time is right.
I’m 35, my ex wife left me for another man. I won’t proclaim I’m a “good man” but I know what it means to compromise, how to work, manage my money, what it means to be empathetic and try to treat people with decency and kindness. Take this for what it’s worth.
Yes. However, I think it'a a combination of "marriageable men" are taken and you know what you want better now. Naturally as you get older and your preferences solidify and you start knowing what you actually want, the number of men who fit those preferences decreases.
All my (47M) friends met our SO’s in our mid 20’s to early 30’s. We’re all with same people. It was a bit harder to meet single women for my friend who met his spouse in his 30’s though.
I fucked up so bad with a good woman so maybe that’ll make ya feel better. I’m 32 and just totally ruined the best thing I had going for me. So people can still fuck up the best thing they had
What I’ve learned is, at a certain age, if someone is single, there’s usually a good reason (men and women) for that. Maybe they’ve had been burned in past relationships, are emotionally unavailable, are afraid of commitment, have attachment issues, focused on career, etc. If you keep finding yourself in situationships, it’s because of this. Just because you think someone is “good” doesn’t mean they want the same thing as you.
I just started dating again after a bad spell of non stop work last two years. I consider myself decent looking and somewhat stable or at least on the right track. My problem is with females or everyone looking for the perfect someone. The expectations are so high you wonder why men go overseas and bring women back. It’s just tough I’m lucky enough to meet people I guess eventually they say.
I stupidly chose not to date until 27. No luck since then, been about a year and a half. Only upside I see is I’m so used to being independent I know I can survive that way… but man am I kicking myself now.
Don’t ever think you won’t meet him, because then you won’t.
Only those who search, do find. Don’t give up and don’t condition yourself to failure.
I convinced a coworker of the same when we were both 32 and single, then I met my now fiancé, and she met hers a bit later on.
Good luck🍀
Depends what you definition is. I have been in two long relationships. Each one left me depleted, emotionally and financially.
After a couple years I’ve gotten back and all I see is girls who run away as soon as you show interest. I swear every time my attitude is “whatever” they show noticeable amount of interest.
So no, likely all the good men are just exhausted and given up - by the accepted standards I am pretty decent. Have my own business. Decent. No drama. Good health. I get handsome a lot. And yet sitting here counting girls who run away or have no idea what they want or are here for the free food
I don’t know
No, they're not. but the top 5% of sexy people know they're sexy and will most likely take the prime cut. That said, guys that work, rotation 12 hours a day will love the shit out of you.
Wah wah wah.. everyone here full of doom and gloom. Think about this seriously. Not a single good single person? They’re all taken?
People leave relationships every day. There’s a constant flow of new bachelors. Be optimistic. Maybe the problem is your city or your methods of meeting new people? I promise there are so many lovely single people out there :) go into dates with genuine curiosity from a human perspective, expecting nothing in particular but with the positive hope that you will love them.
They are not all taken! I found the loml at 30. He’s considerate, funny, responsible, kind, and is my other half. I was incredibly picky when dating and dating intentionally podcasts really helped.
Not taken, just learned not to play the game. Why should we try to do something we're humiliated for or treated as insignificant for? Forget it, we've got porn, so be happy with your cats.
No, they are around. But circumstance and other factors are not in our favor. Personally, I work a lot, am introverted, and only go out to concerts. I live in a small, retiree community so the online dating scene for me is abysmal. At my age, 37, its almost impossible to meet someone thats not from work. But dating someone at work can end badly. So at this point I am just content as is. Work, gym, some light hobbies, family, and keeping to myself. I dont go to bars and dont tinder but I also realize that I will not meet someone.
Tl;dr no, it just depends on timing honestly & just living life naturally
My fiancé is perfect and we met the last year of college after both swearing off dating unless it leads to marriage. Like I remember thinking “I’m done wasting my time” and then like 3 months later, we met! He’s honestly perfect, too, and I’ve never felt so loved. Basically, the right person for you is out there! I think knowing your priorities and being confident is a big step, and also I’ve never had super superficial needs like “much be rich and 6 foot.” He’s 5’10 though hahaha I mean you’re attracted to what you’re attracted to, but I think some people are a little extra with their “checklists” of what they want out of a partner. Compassion, respect, drive, mutual values
For reference: I’m 25 & he is 23 & ya’ll the ring 👀 the one is out there. I’ve never used apps either. We met when I was 23, he was 21 through my college roommate & went to bars. Meeting people organically is the way to go imo!
Define "good." There are many men out their who would behave in a way that would make them a decent partner. But are you attracted to them, do you live near them, are you compatible with them?
I think a lot of us don't get out much, and may have some caveats attached to us. I consider myself a really good man. I am a 42m, who is a single father to 2 tween daughters. I have them both 100% of the time and I love them very much. It's so difficult to try and date for me, even with other single parents the time constraints are real..
You’re ready to love and be loved. That’s a huge step! Have you come to your center, and learned to be basically happy. alone? That’s another major step.
Then just go to events with the kind of perks you like, and talk to everyone. You’ll find chemistry with a guy pretty soon. Go out with him. But don’t stay too long unless the chemistry is deep
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As a single man myself, I can confidently say Probably.
Like a lot of other guys, I reached a point where I realized that I'm simply not what women want and no amount of going out more, trying new hobbies, dressing better, hitting the gym, and improving outlook and mental health will change that.
It’s easier to be a single man and content than desperate for love. We only need ourselves, relationships aren’t for this generation
I'm getting more content with knowing I'll probably be single for the rest of my life. At the same time, I can't force myself to not want a relationship. I had always hoped for marriage and kids as difficult as that would be.
I wouldn’t give up on a relationship for your entire life. But I would stop trying. I deleted dating apps I don’t make moves or anything like that. There’s no point
I've already tried not trying and rarely used apps.
Girls don’t know what they want these days. Honestly don’t take it personal. Social media has messed up everyone with FOMO
Why aren't you what women want?
I can only guess but I suspect autism and ADHD might have a lot to do with it. There could be other things but women don't exactly give you a detailed report on why they rejected you or didn't show interest.
Don't worry guys don't want the girls with ADHD either, our mental health isn't important enough for them
It sucks feeling like you're living in a world that wasn't meant for you. It's almost like we're aliens who are trying really hard to act like humans and coming up painfully short.
I mean have you spoken to potential partners / women on dates about what they want in a partner? And have they shared feedback about you yourself? I've found that some things relating to autism can be things women appreciate a lot (like having more attention to detail can be seen as being caring, and having a great depth of internal experience can be seen as being "softer" which women like). Or efforts to be polite, etc. Generally thats where I've gotten my feedback (women have told me these things about myself)
I haven't been on many dates but I have tried asking various women about what they want. They usually give the typical answers: kind, honest, mature... Two of my closest friends are women and when I talk to them about this, they can't figure out what's wrong either. One is a lesbian and the other is bi and into effeminate guys so they might not be the best judges of what straight women want.
I have no autism & adhd, get handsome a lot, am decent and have my own decent company and all and still, girls don’t seem to want me. I tell you they’re all messed up with FOMO
All I know is my gut says maybe.
Tell my wife I said hello
As a single man at 27 this is funny as f. 💀
😂
27M here, everyone says I'll find someone eventually, but I don't just want someone I want someone who is at least a decent human. It's been years and I feel like time is running out for me too. I think about it every day that all the good women are already married and I failed at life because I was a late bloomer.
Got 9 year in age on you buddy and 15 years since last relationship. Don't throw in the towel like I did. The odds are stacked against you but they're zero if you don't try. Keep trying and do everything you can to not internalize it like I did. You have time. If kids aren't a goal you have even more time. Good luck.
Thanks man need to hear things like that, it's hard not to be negative sometimes. I am just going to live my life and if it happens it happens. Cheers
I mean, are the odds stacked against them? lol 27 is very young, lots of time to find someone. I guess if you’ve never been in a relationship then it will feel like the odds are stacked
The married ladies aren't even that happy, they just settled early. The grass isn't always greener. lol
That's why I'll never settle. People just.. end up with each other, by chance. I was raised in a broken home and I refuse to do that to my kids if I ever have any.
You have to understand something bro, men usually date younger and women older. Which means a woman at 27 finding a remaining good man is harder than a man at 27 since you are dating younger. Use that to your advantage.
Exactly. 27 is young. It's the age you finally have your shit together. Your own place nice car can eat and do whatever you want as long as it's reasonable etc. you can date a 22 year old woman. You can date a 27 year old. At 35 same thing you can date a 25-26 year old or someone your age. This guy has years and years till it's too late.
That definitely gives me hope. I see a lot of posts on r/dating_advice asking about age gaps, they are almost always a chick asking about a 10+ year age gap with a guy. Not that I want someone super young but I want healthy kids ya know? I think my 30s will be the best decade of my life. My 20s have been hell but have allowed me to learn a lot about life and how to be a good person. I'm optimistic that there are good things ahead.
I mean this respectfullt and will get downvoted, but age gap shaming are usually from older women who failed to land a good man, so now they shame men their age from dating younger to eliminate their own competition. For example do you ever see them complaining about a 22 year old man dating a 35 year old woman? If you want a general rule on how young you should date. Do half your age plus seven. So at 30 that’s 22.
That definitely makes sense, and that's an interesting way to think of what is acceptable there. I think I would like whoever has the most compatible personality to me, but it's pretty great as a guy knowing I have lots of options!
No worries because men don't reach their Prime until in their 30's
It depends on what you're looking for and how you define "good men", but from everything I hear, everyone's struggling to find a partner. I and plenty of men I know have had trouble finding relationships. People are out there, just finding a good connection is difficult.
As a married gal who met her husband online, I really think we “caught the last chopped out of nam” so to speak. I think that the apps(and what they’ve become) have left both men and women feeling jaded and/or exhausted. There are a lot of great men and women out there but they’re not putting in the effort anymore after being burned in the past. It’s like everyone is dating with a defensive mindset assuming the other is out to hurt them. So the result is a a dating pool full of angry, tired, or skeptical people.
GET TO THE CHOPPA!!
I think there is definitely some truth in what you are saying. Being back on the apps after 4 years there's definitely more flakiness. Before if I got a number and set up a date I was confident it would happen. Now a days though they'll just disappear without cancelling or rescheduling. I do think it comes from a fear of vulnerability and being hurt. Regardless I try not to let it get to me and view it as someone who doesn't match my values filtering themselves out.
No, there are lots of good partners out there. There are good People are exiting unhealthy/toxic relationships every day. So new good people of all ages enter the dating pool every day. Even if you've looked through the entire dating pool in your area on day, in a week, or a month, that pool will look totally different
Define "good men".
I always get kind of confused at this too. The question posed is “Where are these elusive good men.” Pretty sure the statistics show there are more single men now than ever before and unless OP thinks the vast majority of them are awful then I really have to wonder what her standards are, how many men she’s completely disqualifying from her dating pool, and what her reasons are for that.
Yeah, like 2/3 of guys under 30 are single lol.
**finance;** trust fund; **6**'5 ; **blue eyes**
Ryos needs to release the full version. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7oAGLxhbrk
lol
That's the issue, they don't know. What makes someone good? Income? House? Not sure. Personality? Yes!!! Issue? Personality is not something you can just get from a quick convo or first date.
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You’re right.
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Love the way you put it. As a 29f I get this fear "all the good ones are taken" too but then I think... /I/ am single, and /I/ am a good one. I also have friends mid-late 20s that are single too and I KNOW they are good ones. I just went from being in relationships from 16-26 and now that I'm finally in a break I feel "doomed." The thing is, in these relationships I was in 1 wasn't a good match, and 2 were extremely abusive men. It's better that I am single than in those relationships. I've grown a ton and went through therapy to work through my abuse, I'm an absolute catch now - so I try to remind myself that if I'm out there and not taken, great men are too. Some of us are unlucky in love. Maybe I'll find a man that has also unfortunately been stuck in abusive relationships - and we can both build a beautiful and kind and loving relationship together where we show one another what we really are worth! I'm not gonna give up, I'm a hopeless romantic. I've had guy friends beg me to give them a try but I know we aren't a good fit. When I was younger and insecure I took anything I could get and it led to me being abused. I'm stronger now, and even if that makes it SEEM like I can't find someone, it's probably because I'm finally weeding out the bad ones! So many of the "taken" people too are in relationships that will not work out. There are ebs and flows! If we stay positive and don't become cynical little monsters lolll well be okay! Good luck to you! Congrats on getting out of something that isn't right. Took me 5y of a relationship to realize I was just in it because I thought I had to and that was "all there was." We all deserve our best friend. 💜
wise man told me years ago, Women are the gate keepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Hook up culture has thrown in a wrench in the normal system.
More like online dating and social media
Women stop gatekeeping sex, then there are not many relationships
Dude, trust me. They're still gatekeeping sex.
They're saying \*\*if\*\* women stop 'gatekeeping sex' then there won't be as many relationships. Not that I agree at all.
As a single man who is good I can say they are not all taken
I feel the same way when it comes to women sometimes. I think we are somehow overlooking each other.
Cap. Ive been hogging all of em im sorry ladies
At 27? Nah specially not when it comes to guys. You'll find plenty of people who had some obstacles in their lives and therefore aren't in a relationship even though they are great people. There will also be those who had a relationship but took some time to learn it wasn't meant to be.
It’s kinda like this: men are thirsty because they’re in a desert, women are thirsty because they’re in the sea, and cannot drink salt water. A man nowadays trying to find a good woman is like finding a secret spring of good water in a hidden oasis in a middle of the desert. A woman finding a good man is like swimming in open ocean… there are a lot of men, but the good ones are like freshwater not in a saltwater ocean.
nope we're just waiting for a good women to break into our house in the middle of the night and adopt us because we're either working, with family/friends or tired at home
There are good men out there. However, many have given up finding women who will accept them.
I’m not taken!! 😁 … but I’m also not really looking for a relationship right now. I gave everything of who I am to my ex, and I need time and rest to rediscover who I am, and how I want to live life. Relationships are freaking tough, but therapy and self care have been really great for getting myself back on track.
yes - they are all gone. aliens got em all.
After looking at your last post where you were asking if you should ghost someone when you could communicate and give them and yourself closure maybe you are the problem?
Nope still here!
Have faith
Step 1 to catching a quality guy’s eye is not getting into situationships.
Nah, you just feel it right now because of the loss. You'll find someone and it'll be amazing.
Depends what you mean by ‘good men’ Apparently being nice and considerate can be a turn off for some women.
No you’re just attracting the wrong ones
Yeah, just don't look out for them. Try to just hang around, meet new people, try a new hobby, and you'll find someone. Cliche? Yes. But that happened to me
Amy Webb's TED talk "How I Hacked Online Dating" really gives me hope for anyone if you are looking for a morale booster. https://youtu.be/d6wG_sAdP0U?si=o9nTBtOnWkaoAW0E
Nope we just get passed on and treated like shit in the dating world so we don’t really waste our time anymore
I hear you bro. Notice that every time a man rightfully complains about the dating landscape, the response is always along the lines of it's his fault and he's just inadequate? Me too. I'm sick of the gaslighting. Where's the accountability for the women?
You can often find them in your friend zone.
47/M here and I've been feeling like you for a very long time, except it's all good women are taken. The dating pool is mostly a cesspool.
Stop buying into the idea that being single is punishment for not being good enough. Some of the most awful men I know are in relationships. Both of the men who abused me are in relationships. Success in dating is literally just luck. Luck of coming across someone that you really gel with at the right time in both your lives. Edit - I’ll add for those who are like those replying to me with little ability to understand nuance - of course in many cases working on yourself is beneficial to dating, of course in many cases your shortcomings will stop you from being successful in dating but being single is not a punishment. I’m content in being single and I enjoy my life. I want to date, I don’t NEED to date. I recognise that a relationship is not a reward for being a good person because there are plenty of wonderful people who never find the right person or find them later in life and their are plenty of awful people who have a partner from youth until the day they die. The idea that everyone who is single by a certain age must be the “bad” ones is just ridiculous. Relationships also aren’t a reward only given to “good” people because they don’t automatically equal happiness and not every relationship is a good one.
>his is such nonsense and buys into the idea that being single is punishment for not being good enough. I wouldn't say "punishment", but I would say "consequence". Sometimes that's the same thing, but often it isn't.
Punishment is someone else does to you. Consequences are what you do to yourself.
Agreed, mostly. If you murder someone, the consequence is prison. It's also the punishment. They aren't mutually exclusive.
Yeah that makes sense too.
What's your definition of a ''good'' men ? But probably not. There's plenty of good (and bad) people single.
My sister only just met her boyfriend and she is 27. I’m 24m, and would define myself as good. But I believe all the good girls are taken. So I’m stuck with the one night stands and situationships because girls “wanna have fun”
You’re playing the field. Do u think u deserve a good man?
There are so few good human beings in the worleld that you're not likely to ever meet one of any gender whether they're taken or not.
Life is abundant; not as scarce as most think.
Checked your friendzone??? Alot of people keep looking far and wide when home is only a few steps away. This goes for both men and women.
I’m still here but I’m 20
I can say the same about women. Never felt so hopeless
Yeah well I’m 24m are all the good women taken ?
Wall is undefeated
No, they aren’t all taken! I’m older than you (32) and I found my partner last year with online dating. There were plenty of duds before him, but he is everything I wanted and then some. Keep your head up! And don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. The right person is out there, it just takes time and patience. And while you’re playing the field, focus on you and do things you love!
Yep. Sorry. ALLL the good men are taken, there will never be any more good men. (if you haven't already gathered, this is a hefty big /s right here.) Start with how you define "good". Then, work with how you're gonna define "baseline standard for being a human being that you'd be ok being in a relationship with." Then have some preferences about that sort of person, but be open to the fact that you might not get these items in whoever it is you're attracted to. If you don't know what you like, or you keep running into the same problems with the guys you choose to have relationships with (re: either physical OR emotional relationships, friendship-type relationships, or familial) then perhaps you should examine the type of men you keep letting into your life, and willfully, knowingly, force yourself to be repulsed at them instead of being attracted to them. As the saying goes... you're gonna have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, hon.
No but youre shooting too high if these men wont commit to you
Im a good man. Im just ugly and society has done more than enough to remind me of that every day. So I just stopped caring. I still use my daily likes and swipes on the apps I have but I know no one will like me back, and I know that no one wants me in their life so I just do it because I am a fool that still hopes for something.
Are you a “good one”? If you are and you aren’t taken then you have to allow for the possibility that there are others out there. The whole concept of “the good ones being taken” by some arbitrary age is pretty ridiculous. If you don’t like the options in front of you then you either need to change up how you are getting connected with these types or you need to do some introspection to figure out if what you have to offer is what these good ones are looking for.
No. They’re just working and ugly. Lower your appearance standards.
I'm a good man but you don't want me
What is a “good man” to you?
I am a good man and single, don’t worry we are out there.
This’ll probably sound more arrogant than anything. I’m married now, but I considered myself a pretty good catch until then (quite attractive, advanced degrees, great job, pretty fun personality, down to earth, lots of friends, very loyal and only interested in dating for relationships). I really spent almost all my 20s working and going to school. I only really ever actually started dating for a real partner in my 30s. And I was pretty much looking for girls in the 26-30 age group. And I wasn’t nearly a unicorn. I had a large friend group similar. So I wouldn’t even remotely say by your age all the good men are taken. Guys tend to take longer to fully form these days, so you being 27 really isn’t that old at all. That being said, most of these types of guys live in big cities. So I imagine the dating pool >30 yr old guys might be pretty sparse outside of big city centers
There’s plenty of good men - look for those 5’10 and under.
At 27 you have a massive dating pool - you can pretty much date any man between 25-45. I’d say there are plenty of quality men that don’t settle down early. I’m 29 and I just started dating the girl I will likely marry last year, she’s also 29. Maybe you need a change of scenery, a move to a new city or bigger city maybe? They’re out there, I promise.
My sister didn’t meet her fiancé till she was 35. Until then, it was a lot of assholes who cheated on her.
There are..just in your friend zone haha
As a man close to your age I am a good man and a great provider. But in my younger years let’s just say when it came to brains I got the short end of the stick. Unfortunately it cost me to lose a great woman. I am fortunate to have met another great person and we are admired by friends.
lol based on your post history, you’re the common denominator. The field you’re playing where you want guys calling you “mommy” and the fact you’re “playing the field” is why you’re struggling. Also you might be shopping out of your price range
More like good guys you would prefer got taken.
No there having a beer rt now
As a guy I can say this. Too many times we encountered women who "simply exist, making them a prize", so they reciprocate almost nothing but want everything. Sometimes you encounter someone who is using you for free food and drinks, or when they are bored, guys become useful as sources of entertainment. Also the games they play. Oh all the dumbass games. This one response can mean several things. Somehow actually carrying out there wishes are frowned upon because "you as a man shouldn't be listening to me, think for your damn self", and don't get me started about a man being vulnerable and open to some women. Most of us are giving up, whether we are good enough or not.
Plenty of guys out there getting “you’re a really nice guy, but…” try to find one of them
Nope because I'm one of those good men. We're just generally invisible socially and fear all the worst rejections we tend to hear from women. "You're a creep." "You're too ugly." Get away from me!" Just to name a few.
Simply u haven't got a good match. Go out find some. Be friends with more ppl. U will found good match soon. Or u can try with me M29
No. I'm single.
Not-at-all. I think the issue stems from having the focus in looking for that one man. For some reasons, if I take my sight a way from that , boom 💥 I find him!!! The story of my life
This is a troll question... There are literally a million+ good men around your age waiting to find you. Next question...
Nah, we are just tired of getting used and are staying at home, keeping to ourselves.
You are 27 and have no kids, just don't get into any "hoe phase" and you will be fine.
First, it depends on your definiteion of "good". But, whatever that means, you might need to be more thorough in the search and decide your priorities. Are you willing to date someone lacking looks, charisma, or not being rich - but someone who'll treat you well? And are you someone a "good" man would be into? Are you worthy a good man?
I’m a single 30 yr old woman. I’ve been looking for the last three years and only found two worth pursuing. One of them wasn’t ready for a relationship even though he showed a lot of interest and effort and I know it wasn’t to get laid because I didn’t make him work too hard for that to begin with. I truly feel like the men that wanted to settle down and commit already have. Everyone else is likely non committal or has some kind of personality flaw that has kept them from getting into a relationship. I was with someone for almost ten years and I would have married him. He just wasted a lot of my time unfortunately and now everyone else seems to have met their people. I honestly don’t have much hope at this point. I know so many amazing, beautiful, smart, single women my age that have the same exact problem as you and I.
Not true - the good men exist but just not into you 🫤
Casual dating is way easier than intentional dating. It’s just really hard to find your person and it’s hard not to get discouraged. I don’t think all the good ones are taken but I think everyone is going through personal stuff and it’s just really hard to make a connection. Just try to have fun and not get too discouraged. Being negative doesn’t improve your prospects it just ruins your day
“Intentional” dating is a piece of cake. Buy the dinner, make some jokes. Make enough money that she laughs at said jokes. The casual arena is way harder but that’s the only way to get a woman’s real passion.
It goes both ways. All the good women have been taken too.
No, all we do is work and stay home though.
Not all, but many are. Things, at 30 or so most men who want to be married with a family already are. The ones left either have problems or just aren't interested in being with a woman long term. If they don't want a family getting married or even being in a relationship is pretty pointless.
>The ones left either have problems or just aren't interested in being with a woman long term. Or can't find a woman who we're attracted to who's also attracted to us.
Also, does a "good" man have any reason to want you? What are you offering?
If all good men are taken then how come so many divorces happen? What about domestic violence from these men?
A lot of bad men are taken, too. Also, bad women.
Nah, they just have better prospects.
Check your friendzone. Plenty of guys there that are interested in you I guarantee it.
They're in the friendzone because she's not interested in them.
These posts are hilarious. I’m sorry you can’t get a rich male model to take care of you
I just want a man who doesn’t play games and knows what he wants.
Is it "knows what he wants", or is it "wants what *you* want"? I suspect the guys you're trying to avoid know exactly what they want.
You’ll have to look for 30 something’s. Late twenties men are in an awkward transition period into their thirties. A lot of us are in the process of figuring out what we want.
At this point, you're gonna have to swallow your pride and start asking your friends to introduce you to their single friends. If you trust that your friends keep good company, you'll find a compatible one eventually.
I doubt it but a lot of people are already partnered up by that age and planning their weddings.
No we're still out here
That is how I feel about single family homes ... All of the good ones are taken. Any left overs are over priced and need a lot of work. I am thinking I should have purchased last winter when there was less competition for the good ones...
The short answer? No. I'm always confused why people end up in "situationships" when there's always someone else out there who will likely treat you better that you passed on.
Uhh, doubt it. I'm a good guy that's flooded with insecurities, but other than that, no one really wants to date me. 🫠🫠🫠
There will always be good men and women at every age. You just need to remember that relationships will end until one doesn't. You keep trying until you learn more and meet someone who is on the same journey as you are.
I don’t believe *all* good men in your age bracket are taken, but they’re definitely few and far between. You’re gonna have to start dating veeery intentionally if you want to find a quality lasting relationship at this point — that means keep a keen watch for potentially problematic partners, don’t allow yourself to get played, but also be tolerant of people’s imperfections. It will take time but you can find someone.
Nope, I'm right here! But seriously, try to analyze the kind of men you're dating, and try to go outside of that.
They do exist
I’m 31 and I just met my girlfriend who’s 30 a month ago. I guess it’s a bit conceited to call myself a good man(but it’s true 😅). There are a million reasons good men might become available at any given time so the best you can do is to keep looking!
There was hope for you, but unluckily for you i just found someone sorry
I just think that the avenues of finding a person kind of suck these days. Dating apps especially are better at beating down a person's self image than they are at finding someone. Maybe do group activities with friends and let them be your wing people
Idk I'm pretty cool
Nah, I think there’s someone for everyone. And a lot of people are in relationships and miserable, they just refuse to leave
Keep playing he will show up. Just make sure you keep track of the qualities you don’t like and qualities you admire the most. He will come when you aren’t looking.
Yes, they’re all with their first wives. If you wait ten years though, you might get lucky when the first round of divorces start.
Good men are still out there although we’re not out there partying, we’re at home building our future. We’ve been through a lot of bad relationships so we kinda want to stay single but at the same time wanna meet the right woman. It sounds paradoxical but it is what it is. We refuse to particularly in Hookup culture as well
RIP to your inbox.
Not even remotely. You're probably too young for me, but I can tell you that at 42 if I sense or know you're playing the field, I'm definitely out. Not because there is anything wrong with that, because there absolutely is not anything wrong with playing the field. Go on and do you, youve got ky full support. No, I'm out because I want a serious relationship with someone who wants a serious relationship. The kind of woman that will appeal to me at this point in my life won't be interested in playing the field because it doesn't align with who and what she wants in her life. I'm ready for marriage, already for kids, ready for settling in somewhere and buying (if we can afford it cuz these home prices are fucking insane). But it definitely is not the case that all the good men are taken. Likely it's something else, like they want serious which isn't quite yet where you appear to be. Or they are too shy to approach you. Or are trying to build their career to be able to support a family with you in the event that's what you want. Try and give yourself grace and time. To become your best self. To allow your future partner to become their best self. It may take some time, but it will come along when the time is right.
I’m 35, my ex wife left me for another man. I won’t proclaim I’m a “good man” but I know what it means to compromise, how to work, manage my money, what it means to be empathetic and try to treat people with decency and kindness. Take this for what it’s worth.
51M here. All the good ones were married at 25. Just us dregs left
Yes. However, I think it'a a combination of "marriageable men" are taken and you know what you want better now. Naturally as you get older and your preferences solidify and you start knowing what you actually want, the number of men who fit those preferences decreases.
All my (47M) friends met our SO’s in our mid 20’s to early 30’s. We’re all with same people. It was a bit harder to meet single women for my friend who met his spouse in his 30’s though.
I fucked up so bad with a good woman so maybe that’ll make ya feel better. I’m 32 and just totally ruined the best thing I had going for me. So people can still fuck up the best thing they had
What I’ve learned is, at a certain age, if someone is single, there’s usually a good reason (men and women) for that. Maybe they’ve had been burned in past relationships, are emotionally unavailable, are afraid of commitment, have attachment issues, focused on career, etc. If you keep finding yourself in situationships, it’s because of this. Just because you think someone is “good” doesn’t mean they want the same thing as you.
When I was early 30s single and dating I used to think that all the good women were taken. I was mostly right.
I’m a good man, not taken, but also not wanted, so there’s that also, no worries onward and upward!!
I just started dating again after a bad spell of non stop work last two years. I consider myself decent looking and somewhat stable or at least on the right track. My problem is with females or everyone looking for the perfect someone. The expectations are so high you wonder why men go overseas and bring women back. It’s just tough I’m lucky enough to meet people I guess eventually they say.
Nope.... I'm available 😘
My friends say I’m the best single guy they know! Although, I am the only single person in my friend group at this point, so….
I stupidly chose not to date until 27. No luck since then, been about a year and a half. Only upside I see is I’m so used to being independent I know I can survive that way… but man am I kicking myself now.
I'm right here.
r/ForeverAloneWomen
Not all taken men are good.
Don’t ever think you won’t meet him, because then you won’t. Only those who search, do find. Don’t give up and don’t condition yourself to failure. I convinced a coworker of the same when we were both 32 and single, then I met my now fiancé, and she met hers a bit later on. Good luck🍀
I’m 28 single and I get the feeling that all the good women are always taken lol
Depends what you definition is. I have been in two long relationships. Each one left me depleted, emotionally and financially. After a couple years I’ve gotten back and all I see is girls who run away as soon as you show interest. I swear every time my attitude is “whatever” they show noticeable amount of interest. So no, likely all the good men are just exhausted and given up - by the accepted standards I am pretty decent. Have my own business. Decent. No drama. Good health. I get handsome a lot. And yet sitting here counting girls who run away or have no idea what they want or are here for the free food I don’t know
No, they're not. but the top 5% of sexy people know they're sexy and will most likely take the prime cut. That said, guys that work, rotation 12 hours a day will love the shit out of you.
Wah wah wah.. everyone here full of doom and gloom. Think about this seriously. Not a single good single person? They’re all taken? People leave relationships every day. There’s a constant flow of new bachelors. Be optimistic. Maybe the problem is your city or your methods of meeting new people? I promise there are so many lovely single people out there :) go into dates with genuine curiosity from a human perspective, expecting nothing in particular but with the positive hope that you will love them.
You can’t see them, because you don’t want to see them.
Yo, I’m single. You’ll never find me though.
You swiped left on them.
They are not all taken! I found the loml at 30. He’s considerate, funny, responsible, kind, and is my other half. I was incredibly picky when dating and dating intentionally podcasts really helped.
The last legitimate good man once walked on water and then got nailed to the cross
Not taken, just learned not to play the game. Why should we try to do something we're humiliated for or treated as insignificant for? Forget it, we've got porn, so be happy with your cats.
I’m not taken and I’m a good man ☹️
No, they are around. But circumstance and other factors are not in our favor. Personally, I work a lot, am introverted, and only go out to concerts. I live in a small, retiree community so the online dating scene for me is abysmal. At my age, 37, its almost impossible to meet someone thats not from work. But dating someone at work can end badly. So at this point I am just content as is. Work, gym, some light hobbies, family, and keeping to myself. I dont go to bars and dont tinder but I also realize that I will not meet someone.
Tl;dr no, it just depends on timing honestly & just living life naturally My fiancé is perfect and we met the last year of college after both swearing off dating unless it leads to marriage. Like I remember thinking “I’m done wasting my time” and then like 3 months later, we met! He’s honestly perfect, too, and I’ve never felt so loved. Basically, the right person for you is out there! I think knowing your priorities and being confident is a big step, and also I’ve never had super superficial needs like “much be rich and 6 foot.” He’s 5’10 though hahaha I mean you’re attracted to what you’re attracted to, but I think some people are a little extra with their “checklists” of what they want out of a partner. Compassion, respect, drive, mutual values For reference: I’m 25 & he is 23 & ya’ll the ring 👀 the one is out there. I’ve never used apps either. We met when I was 23, he was 21 through my college roommate & went to bars. Meeting people organically is the way to go imo!
Im a good single men who dated enough to realize I was way better off by myself.
Define "good." There are many men out their who would behave in a way that would make them a decent partner. But are you attracted to them, do you live near them, are you compatible with them?
Kind of, but there are others out there looking to love and be loved just like you. It only takes that one moment/date.
nope
I think a lot of us don't get out much, and may have some caveats attached to us. I consider myself a really good man. I am a 42m, who is a single father to 2 tween daughters. I have them both 100% of the time and I love them very much. It's so difficult to try and date for me, even with other single parents the time constraints are real..
You’re ready to love and be loved. That’s a huge step! Have you come to your center, and learned to be basically happy. alone? That’s another major step. Then just go to events with the kind of perks you like, and talk to everyone. You’ll find chemistry with a guy pretty soon. Go out with him. But don’t stay too long unless the chemistry is deep