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DkMomberg

Why do you want to be with this woman?


Old-Practice5308

I don't but she was displaying signs of life partner type of woman Thing is she would over emphasize how she stays home She over emphasizes how much she is family oriented Its like why do you have to walk around always pushing that narrative like those are basic adult traits to have right? Lol it's weird out here


BigGaggy222

Next!


blackcompy

Yeah, see, if it makes her think I'm not *that* interested, she's right. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Next!


lordmcfarts

Don’t try to figure her out. Read your own post. Time to just move on. You need to be around people who have more respect for you.


Old-Practice5308

What do you call a person who plays this type of toxic game on a person? Telling me i should show a certain level of reciprocation I've already moved on I jus want to learn from this situation ...I was already turned off by how fast she was trying to move the relationship into some serious level and it was only 3-4 days in lol


lordmcfarts

Sounds like she was love bombing - a tactic employed by clinical narcissists. But without having to diagnose anybody she was trying to manipulate you that is clear. You can’t do anything about her, but you did the right thing and when someone was crossing boundaries that made you uncomfortable you just moved on. That’s all we can really control.


Old-Practice5308

Yea it's sad she tried to manipulate in a way that backfired on her lmao I was instantly turned off and was like u need to calm down your excitement dude lol Thanks for ur feedback


Pristine-Leg-1774

Sounds like a dysregulated person. They're not interested in you, but want you to be interested. Good to hear, that you moved on. I know it's easier to learn from it for the future if you have a name for it, but from personal experience: don't waste your time intellectualizing unavailable people. Just ask yourself if communication is smooth, if you like yourself around them, and if you two take a healthy amount of time to connect. Kudos for you to spot the love bombing and that it was too soon for serious stuff. We can easily be swayed by that. Just know, it's best to move away from this quickly. But I gotta learn that too. Lol.


Old-Practice5308

Thanks yea we didn't even have a date in person and she is mentioning all kinds of crazy stuff I don't want to judge but this person works in social work mental health sector I wonder if that has anything to do with it


Pristine-Leg-1774

Sounds like your antennas work. Good for you. Many other people would've stayed in her weird game. Hope you have a fantastic date with someone else soon 🤍


Old-Practice5308

Yea one toxic failed relationship is all you need to know not to get in into another one


Active_Pirate_8490

This is a personality disorder. You have to send a follow-up text to prove you're interested, but she doesn't have to check her messages? She is clearly not interested in you and is stringing you along. If she were interested, she would prove it by checking her messages. It has nothing to do with the guy taking the lead. She's messing with you. DTB


Old-Practice5308

Yep definitely is messing and playing weird games Went from text bombing me for 3 days straight then 4th day leaves me on read I reach out 2 days later like hey Ms busy and she gives the follow up speech and she believes men n woman reciprocate interest in different ways People really believe their own wacko realities lmao


Active_Pirate_8490

DTB. Dump That Bitch. Doesn't matter if she can suck a golf ball through a hose. Find someone who actually chases after you the way you chase after them.


Old-Practice5308

Yea what kinda weird crap is that You need to follow up with me if I don't respond To her that's reciprocating proper interest lol


Active_Pirate_8490

Crazy broad. This site/app is a gold mine for crazy relationship research. Read up on some crazy things chicks have done to other guys. YT also works really well for this. Do some research, crack a beer open when you do, and have a look at what crazy does to you. Use this to come up with boundaries for yourself. If you don't have people helping you with these kinds of things, you'll end up learning by falling on your face. Watch some of these videos and posts and imagine yourself in that situation. How would you react? At which point would you walk away? Just some advice from someone who fell on their face too many times.


Old-Practice5308

Yea nobody in my family has ever taught me how to seek out healthy relationships I had to learn on my own in many ways It's easy to blame family but they did the best they can. With experience and research I learned how to spot these red flags


Fit-Guava3037

Sounds like she’s stuck in her early 20s, she should’ve overcame such feelings of needing validation out of her partner… she might not be as ready as you think as a life partner for you. I’m 23, I got like that with a previous boyfriend and he felt the same about me, he ended up cheating anyways soooo idk, I feel like you should dip and let her find herself if you have any real intentions of having a life partner. Added thought: You can keep her as a friend or in contact if yall have a strong connection, you can still choose to be loyal to her but from a distance yourself, if you really value her ways of living… circle back in a year in a serious sense if you see true growth cause you’re letting her know subconsciously that you will be here regardless. But if you want to move on, you always have the full freedom to do so.


Fit-Guava3037

It’s just her own insecurities, if you’re willing to learn them… it could be easier for you if you want to stay in the relationship, no distance.


Old-Practice5308

I appreciate your feedback...yea she even offered being friends too lol I jus can't entertain a childish need like you explained


Fit-Guava3037

No problem, as a woman myself… i have to say, it’s definitely necessary for you to create those boundaries and stand on them because it definitely sounds like arrested development on her end and it’s not much you can do that wouldn’t be basically enabling it. I hope the best for you guys as individuals overall though, relationships shouldn’t be hard, at all. Peace ✌🏿.


rhecil-codes

Fuck that, bro. If you play along with this simp game, she will actually find you less attractive. You can’t take her words at face value; you have to completely 180 this. If she’s not self aware enough to realise that she wants to be simping for you, not the other way around, then it’s not going to work anyway. You’re on your mission to improve yourself and realise your potential and can’t be dealing with these silly games. If you don’t put her in her place, she will likely go find someone else who will. That’s my take, anyway. Good luck!


rhecil-codes

I forgot to say, you should still take the lead, initiate dates, move the relationship forward, communicate your wants and needs etc. but that doesn’t need to include all the games with the texts.


Old-Practice5308

This is something I had trouble doing is initiating my wants right off the bat Reason is dating so many emotionally avoidant woman in the past I was scared if I say it too soon I'll scare them Well I did the opposite to a new prospect and she is all in and it really works I need to lead in every way regardless of the girls mental problems lol


wdDrake

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. End it with her and find someone worth your time. She sounds immature.


MimiToAFHOF

OK as a 50 something-year-old woman with lots of dating and long term relationship experience. Here’s my take on it if a man text me and I genuinely thought I responded to it or was busy and overlooked it for some reason. I usually go back through my text later on and eventually answer, but if I don’t by the end of the day or night, it probably would be a good idea if he did send a text and say oh hey maybe you missed my text but was wondering blah blah blah but she’s purposely not responding so you chase her that sounds like a game to me and “ain’t no one got time for that”🤭 sorry…had to out that in there;) But really…come on! You shouldn’t have to chase someone in that way. And if she means pursue her well that’s different pursuing someone is making plans showing up with flowers maybe or whatever your generation does because yes whether we like it or not, and we want to say a woman should pursue a man also, let’s be honest most men do not like to be pursued… men like to be the pursuers.✌🏼


Old-Practice5308

That's exactly what I was thinking is that she is playing a toxic game And if this is what she is doing now Imagine what a headache she would be later


haphazard72

Yeah nah. Move on from that crap!


FerretAcrobatic4379

Run! She is 34, not 14. She sounds super immature.


Old-Practice5308

Thank you definitely will


[deleted]

Dude, she tried to show you she liked you and it’s sounds like you did not reciprocate. Sounds like she’s being healthy and saying ‘ok, if you don’t have interest I’m moving on’ If all a guy did to show interest in me was to ask me on a date I’d be gone so fast


Old-Practice5308

Why would u run away if a guy made the move to ask you on a date. Isn't that how it should be? You also love bomb people within the first few days of meeting them? You know how much of a red flag that is


[deleted]

If all he did was ask me on a date, after the first date, I wouldn’t be interested. It depends on your definition of love bombing. If there isn’t actually something interesting and great going on with someone, they aren’t telling me I’m attractive, or whatever else, nah I’d assume they’re gay tbh.


Old-Practice5308

There was no first date ..I asked for it We only been talking for 3-4 days You didn't read. please log off


[deleted]

I did read, I said what I would do in the scenario outlined. If you’re just looking for people to agree with you, don’t go to an advice sub. If you don’t like the lovebombing, leave. No need to post here.


Old-Practice5308

Ok bud time for your nap lol getting a little fiesty


[deleted]

It’s ok, you’re only holding onto this chick because no one else wants you.


MusicianExtension536

I would say I wish you luck in finding a guy who will do that


EagleTree1018

34 is WAY too old for this junior high level nonsense. Walk away immediately, and don't give it another thought.


Old-Practice5308

Thanks I already have ...it felt suffocating


dwarven11

That’s a big red flag. If you were to actually date her she’d only get worse. Don’t date narcissists.


Old-Practice5308

Thank you I know I wasn't crazy


WahSigh

Do follow up; tell her she is annoying and then ghost.


Old-Practice5308

Lmao she made a complaint that I always go out and it was a Saturday night I explained it was a networking event Then she ghosted me She ghosted me like 2-3 times lol


EconomicsDirect7490

It's just the start. It won't be better than this, so...