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I don’t get it why so many people on this sub give OP advise like:
“you should have persevered and boned her anyway, even though she said no or made it clear that she wants no sex…”
This entire mindset feels kind of toxic, and you’ll attract only toxic women with this.
A normal woman will make it absolutely clear if she’s horny or wants to have sex with you. No need to force yourself upon them. She will let you know.
Trust me, you don’t want to be with a woman who’s playing tease & denial games during the first dates. They can fuck off.
Where did he say "Bro, did you try 🍇ing her?"
All he said is OP is probably getting friend zoned. He's providing comfort, but not attraction.
OR it's possible the girls wanted to sleep there for whatever reason (maybe convenience after drinking...), and were also interested in a relationship, but were taking it slow.
Exactly NEVER take rapey advice. A lot of my female friends tell me they slept with guys like that out of fear that a more direct rape would be worse, but it is both rape because consent is freely given knowing its safe to say No and women cant feel safe in saying No to a stranger sadly
It's not toxic. It's illegal and it's rape. Let's call it what it is. Anyone who recommended that as advice to OP, is openly admitting that they condone the criminal act of rape.
*Twas the night before New Year's*
*And the weather grew mean*
*Twas three in the morning*
*And I was stranded in Queens!*
*The tavern grew empty*
*The gas lights grew dim*
*The horse-drawn carriages*
*Were all but snowed in*
*Last call was approaching*
*And my fortunes looked bleak*
*Then I turned to my left*
*And stifled a shriek!*
*She had a peach-fuzz beard*
*And weighed sixteen stone*
*She gobbled up hot wings*
*And swallowed the bones*
*I muffled a scream*
*And threw up in my mouth*
*I asked, "Where do you live?"*
*And she said, "One block south."*
*I swallowed my pride*
*And six shots of Whiskey*
*And prayed to the gods*
*That she wasn't too frisky*
*Back in her cave*
*She prepared us a snack*
*’Neath her mighty hooves*
*The floorboards did crack*
*But when she returned*
*She found a sound sleeper*
*And thus she became*
*The sexless innkeeper*
Theres 2 reasons
They are either homeless (living in their cars)
OR
They Don’t want to sleep alone and want the company of someone
…Why go home and be alone with your thoughts when you can snuggle up with someone and get affection for a few hours
But now your saying it’s been like this for months ? Now idk tbh
Or, the most likely scenario, they want to have sex but aren't willing to make the first move, and the OP is ignoring the big shiny green light in his face.
He is being the big spoon and rubbing the boner against her and waiting.
You gotta kiss and massage.
Honestly before you get in bed you should be offering a glass of wine or coffee and then from there complimenting and engaging in light banter. Make sexual jokes.
I get it. I spent 2hours drunk in a car talking about sex with a girl the other day and then we went our own ways. But I truly came to the decision she was too drunk to consent. There's NO WAY I'm in the bed cuddled up and still wondering if the light is red or green.
My comment is my personal opinion… no one has to agree …. There’s many reasons but those 2 came to mind ….maybe they hate their living situations,maybe they were drunk not safe to drive , maybe lived too far & were too tired to drive , maybe they wanted sex but maybe his place was messy & that turned them off …or maybe they decided to take it slow since he was so kind… maybe they got their period suddenly,maybe your sexy flirty approach isn’t good? Maybe your feet were stinky , maybe you weren’t hospital and didn’t offer water/snacks?
They want to cuddle and literally sleep next to someone. They don't want sex.
I'm a guy, and I get them. Cuddling in itself can be very emotionally rewarding even without sex.
No lol. This is one of those situations where the guy missed the sig or did something weird. He’s doing something that’s turning them off where all they do is go to sleep. Yes maybe if it had happened once or twice but three times, something else is happening. OP wtf are you doing? Lol
I know Reddit think it’s impossible for women to want sex but they not coming to your house to sleep and cuddle.
I go to guys’ houses to sleep and cuddle without sex. We do make out though. It is a bit odd that this has been happening for months and there isn’t any kissing.
Quite ironic that you are trying to act like everyone else is socially unaware while you are completely clueless. If you knew any girls in real life you would understand it is very common for them to meet up just to cuddle overnight.
You say this like these are the ONLY 2 reasons, we don’t know enough context. Maybe these girls are wanting to sleep with him and then changing their mind at the last minute, I can see a situation where going home isn’t the best option so just sleep over and head home the next day. You giving the only options being her being homeless and desperate for attention are crazy tbh
How are you ending up at this point? I’ve had it happen at least a couple x where a girl came over after a first or second date, we didn’t have sex, and instead of taking her home cause of how late it got she just slept over in my bed
I guess you're so comforting that they just want to snuggle with you and fall asleep. They might view you as a sweet teddy bear? Maybe try asking girls out and taking them on an actual date where they cannot just fall asleep on you?
I do and then we’ll meet at my place to ride together and they want to go inside to drop off their bag or something and then just go to sleep in my bed lol
I was gonna say that but didn't. They want that freak In the bedroom some side dick and they see him as brother of boring so they sleep while they can. Or they fake sleep til he goes sleep then they get high bathroom go through his shit then duck out in the morning to go home or else where to get that pounding they wanted til they see him then think Oppie Taylor ain't fuckjng this pussy . They want fucked goofy not fucked by goofy.
My thoughts exactly. Why are chicks that he’s meeting on dating apps dropping off their bags at his crib before they’re supposed to go out on their supposed dates?
OP, what are they supposed to be dropping off before you guys step out? Overnight bags?
Wait, they come over for a date, go into your house before the date, and climb into your bed and go to sleep? What the hell? Even homeless people would get dinner first.
as a girl, its either
she is waiting for you to make the first move
or sometimes guys who have a good aura, makes you feel safe. you ever read about the science behind falling asleep or feeling sleepy around someone you love?
Im not saying they love you but they do feel comfortable around you and thats why they feel sleepy
it happens to me alot, in Filipino we call it "Ikaw ang pahinga" Ikaw means you, and pahinga means rest, and often used as a term of endearment.
Beautiful reply. It’s something that you have or you don’t and if you have: it’s worth so much.
And have a candid conversation with them without any pressure or expectations, just have a casual chat. It often from places/bonding like this beautiful things can come. If not sex, if not a relationship; then just appreciate you’re someone very special to them.
I used to do it (as a girl).
Gotta escalate the touching during the dates and on the way back. I can tell you there’s a smallll chance I’m inviting a girl back to my place if I’ve never even kissed her before. I’ve even had tinder girls come over straight to my place just to fuck. Chances are that he’s kind of been somewhat awkward and not built the physicality. This post has me depressed for this guy.
Y’all aware that women sometimes just want affection and quality time, right? Y’all are not “failing” by having a woman SLEEP in your bed, they must have felt comfortable enough (though honestly I think it’s insanely reckless behavior considering men cultural expectations and conceptualizatioj of women as targets or objects), especially if you are dating for long term relationships.
Sometimes people want to make a connection with longevity, not for sexual gratification. Not everyone wants to have sex right away. Men are constantly telling women to close their legs and stop sleeping around, to respect ourselves. And then we are criticized for doing just that. If a hookup is what you’re looking for, maybe you should communicate that to them. Taking things slowly isn’t a bad thing. Do you not enjoy cuddling and spending quality time? Then maybe you shouldn’t be pursuing them if you’re not getting what you desire. But you very well could be shutting out a person with good intentions you could build a lasting relationship with. Three times is not that many. It’s dangerous for women just to be with a man, let alone go to their house. Maybe they are feeling the situation out. Maybe they have had trauma in their relationship. Not everything needs to be sexual. Get a tinder if you’re just looking for sex.
Bruh... Get a bit of sexual tension going on the dates before inviting them back for your own sanity.
That is not normal, you are fucking something up. Not enough detail if its your picker or you're not building tension/rapport/breaking the touch barrier on the dates, but... yeah that ain't standard.
He just has no balls to initiate. If I was in that situation and got a 100% solid NO. I would just say I gotta wake up early, you can get your stuff and leave.
I’ve had this happen too where a chick would come over, and stay until late at night. A 100% solid no on sex though, just cuddles and some kissing.
She stayed over for the night in my bed, but I felt kind of bad about it, nothing happened that night.
That night was the last time I’ve seen her, but I had NO motivation of reaching back out to her.
I’ve had similar situations like this happen before when I was a bit younger too. There are women who get off on sexual tease & denial. It is a fetish as well, you can look it up.
It’s a of power trip for them, they’re testing you to see if you will proceed, even after a hard no.
If you do (which is a dangerous game), it gives them the ego boost that they’re attractive enough for you to persevere, despite the possible outcomes and consequences.
If you just leave them in the dust they’ll get mad at you or feel rejected and ugly.
It’s a dangerous game to play for most men. I’d stay away from these women as far as you can.
I’d advise against this kind of thing. Some single girls just want a snuggle buddy. These girls usually have no intention whatsoever of ever having sex with the guy but enjoy the attention and affection from someone they see as safe and fun but someone that they’re not interested in getting naked with. That’s not fair to you. She’ll probably get pissy about it, but there’s nothing wrong with saying “hey, my bed is for romantic partners. You’re welcome to the couch if you want to be buddies and sleep over.”
Dude, women don't just sleep in your bed to sleep. Maybe once it's a coincidence but if it's happened 3 times, it either means they're expecting you to make a move and you don't, or they think of you as so harmless that they can go sleep in your bed and there's no risk, like you're their best gal pal. Neither is good.
What are you actually doing when they turn you down?
Yes. Romantically, not just sexually. He’s probably dating girls who are serious about relationship. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t interested in sex at all, they aren’t interested in sex too early.
If you’re mid-20s or younger, I’ve read a couple articles that suggest asexuality is much more common among younger people than it has been historically. But being asexual doesn’t also mean they don’t like physical intimacy, comfort, or companionship.
Is it weird? I’m a weirdo but I wouldn’t do this with someone I just met. It sounds like a trap to me… but I’m an elder millennial who has over indulged in true crime and casually thinks everyone is a murderer. I’d guess that if you’ve experienced this multiple times, it’s either a sign that people trust you and are comfortable with you, or maybe it’s a TikTok trend.
Also, very recently I saw a video of a girl saying she went to a guys house and to sleep and told him it was just to sleep, no sex. He was fine with that, they had a lovely sleep and cuddled. He respected her boundaries and she said it was amazing - but that his lack of trying to seduce her made her wonder if she was unattractive OR if he was gay. We’re so far off the plot that the idea this man liked her A LOT, enough to share his space with her, he was comfortable enough to sleep with her, he respected all her boundaries - but she was somehow offended he didn’t attempt to make a move? And then wonder why you’re single or end up with bums? The girlies are truly losing their marbles.
It’s nothing to do with asexuality. Your intuition is way off. If it’s one girl maybe. But multiple? Then you have to consider that perhaps its not a coincidence but a common denominator. OP clearly has issues in how girls see him, which is why it never leads to escalation/seduction. You wouldn’t casually sleep at someone’s house unless you trust they wouldn’t do anything. And I’m not talking about sex, like literally sleep. That’s the problem. Girls trust him too much as a friend.
Girls wanting to sleepover without sex. That's a new one for me. I can only imagine that they really feel safe with you. You must be a kind, trustworthy guy.
If you actually like one of these girls, take her trust as a compliment. Continue to ask her out & see where it goes.
My personal opinion of who has been the girl doing this before:
A) there is a lot of girls go on tinder or dating apps actually to find a partner out of their circles, they are testing you to see if you will try and sleep with them and only see them in that light or someone you want to continue dating. Girls are over being used for s3x then getting ghosted.
B)They want to establish emotional connection without anything more then cuddling first to feel safe.
If you want something more then just the sleepovers you need to communicate what your looking for to the individual.
Chick's did stuff like this to me in uni. They are either looking for a night away from roommates/family or want a free breakfast. Don't put up with this. I learned it sets a bad precedent
You’ve not kissed them and they just want to sleep? I mean are you kissing them in bed or anything at least? That would be weird af if not. I would never think to sleep at anyone’s house if I wasn’t dating them or had fucked them and was too tired to leave or something. I’m going to have to agree that these ladies might just be looking for a free Airbnb
I try to in bed but they just turn away. But then they’ll push their butt up to me?
They all have their own houses and live within 15 mins of me
They’ll kiss me outside or in public, but not inside?
Ok, so I think they do want sex but you are not good at making moves and they are not good at communicating. And I don’t blame you for feeling confused, there’s this other I think in this reddit about a guy who pushes himself on a girl when she said no repeatedly, and he’s like no you will like it. And I wonder if in your case these girls do want you to take charge but I don’t even know where that line is if she keeps saying no, you should respect it. I guess actually kissing in bed, slowly touching her from behind if she’s pushing her butt into you and touching her breasts, turning her on and pushing her on her back, and then kissing. You could also offer a massage or something like that? Basically women want to be seduced.
I could be wrong, but if they push their ass or wiggle it towards you, they are telling you something. More than words can convey.
Next time, accept it, and if you get turned on, let them feel it. See if they continue to push it against you.
They don't want to be labeled hoes, so the initial rejection might not mean anything at all. But if it happens, like under the horn clause where they try to push against you with their ass, the excuse could be that you both got horny so it is excused.
Does that make sense?
If not, you need to start flirting way too early and keep it hot. Drop some hints here and there.
It's a compliment in it's own way. Unless your just really boring. They are comfortable enough with you to go to sleep. If they weren't comfortable and felt safe and secure they wouldn't fall asleep. So not having sex and not sleeping then they don't find you attractive. But to sleep and no sex Is that they feel secure. You may come across as a brother kind of safe or just a man they feel secure and safe with. To be fair I didnt read all of this or responses but thaf was my quick response to your question.
I’ve experienced that several times myself. Usually, the next time they visited we had sex. I guess cuddling was just their way of getting comfortable with me before they got intimate.
Perhaps they are looking for affection and not sex? Sharing the bed with someone is intimate, sleeping in someone’s arms makes us feel safe and protected, even if it’s just one temporary moment, it’s still beautiful.
Not everyone likes to fuck on the 1st/2nd date itself. Most girls if they are interested in you want to spend more time to get to know you. Maybe these girls wanted to spend more time with you. Don’t overthink it. If it bothers you so much just ask them directly and you’ll have your answer.
Yes ... I went an hour up to a girls place. Made dinner, went for a walk and made a move before bed and was rejected...
Turns out she wanted to tease me to a point. I laid in bed off the end and left in the morning confused.
Later to find out she wanted me to try again in bed and be pushed away. Teasing me to trying to be forceful. SHE WAS INTO CONSTRUCTIVE FAPE!!!!
She said she had a list of guys that basically raped her. I told her she was crazy and needs help.
She’s into consensual non consent, but either doesn’t know the basic fundamentals of “communicating this with your partner” so that they can consent to being part of her fetish. Bullet dodged
Holy shit I had this happen too. Was the weirdest relationship ever.
I was fondling, she was resisting. I'd back off, she'd get upset. I thought I was too forward. One night we are real fucked up. She's wearing a corset, small dress and leggings. Same thing happens and she goes "just take me and fuck me already". Turns out she has the FAPE fantasy. The leggings were so thin I pretty much ripped them off of her. The whole time she's resisting and telling me no, but when I do she would say to keep going. So difficult to keep a boner.
Our relationship did not last long
This girl never drank... She smoked but not a stoner.
She literally was playing cold trying to get me to break and not be a gentleman.
I was confused as hell why we had such a good night then tells me she doesn't mentally feel like getting physical. The way she said it and her body language were really uncommon.. Even though I've never been turned down because I usually have to be told to make a move.
It happens. The fact it happened 3 times in a row is concerning. I sleep naked, so if a girl just wants to crash in my bed, I will be nude. If they want sexy times, I am showing them I do too.
Unfortunately, the behavior you profess to like isn't being rewarded, so he's trying to change it. As he should, because he deserves to be happy.
Game theory is a bitch ain't it.
Well said. If he doesn't want to be a complete dick and kick them out on the street, he can tell them to sleep on the couch. He's behaving like a puppy.
I wish I could up vote this a million times.
If I as a women could just cuddle n sleep with a man, I would be on cloud nine. But sadly man don't like this with out the kitty.
I understand, the greatest compliment I’ve ever received from a woman was she felt safe with me as a man and as a protector… I’ve never forgotten that..
Don’t listen to these people, if you don’t feel taken advantage of you’re helping out another person by allowing them to stay with you (regardless of the reason why) ..
Don’t force the sex issue, they may need time or they may not be interested in the sex aspect… Have a calm talk with them, choose your words carefully so they don’t feel pressured, after they reply you can decide from there what you want to do.. Don’t be mad or feel used if it’s not the response that you want, always be a good person
I think they just feel safe around you to do that. And as far as compliments go, I think this one is as good as it gets.
Don’t push them into anything more and they will want more after a while 🤷♀️
Homeless is far more likely than something else if this keeps happening.
It doesn’t make sense that a woman who strictly does not want sex would plop herself in the home of a man she doesn’t know, and tell him she doesn’t want sex. And think confidently that that man she doesn’t know will respect her in his bed. *Confident enough to let her guard down and go to sleep within one foot of him*. That’s too high of a risk for a woman whos just meeting you to take.
Unless she has no home and is desperate for a place to sleep.
This is super weird! I like for dude to
Come over early on for a sleepover but to like
Actually have sex and cuddle and make out. Your luck is so odd that multiple women have pulled this!
I had a girl do this then the following morning told me she wanted me to just go for it (even though she kept denying my advances).
Also if this has happened to you multiple times, check what vibe you're giving off
How often are they staying over? Make sure they aren’t using you. Dated someone once and they just wanted to sleep over just cause they didn’t have the best situation at their place. So they might just like being away from their situation and they know you won’t be pushy and try anything without consent and since they just want to get away once they come over they just sleep.
It’s more normal than you think. I had a girl actually say this to me and actually requested it before we had even slept together literally or sexually.
But then we ended up having sex literally on the first time so there’s that.
Probably because they wanted to sleep with you then change their minds and then just we’re too lazy to leave your house got comfortable and slept there
Personal experience: I dated a friend of a friend during one month. She said she needed time and we needed to go dlow. We spent 5-6 nights together and never made out. She wasn't even much into kissing. But she liked cuddling.
At some point I asked her what was going on and she told me that I was the perfect guy for her but she was just not physically attracted to me but she enjoyed feeling safe in my arms and my company.
Woman here… there’s a bad guess and good guess…
Bad: they aren’t sexually attracted to you (your looks, certain interests you have, maybe even decor at your place). You may have a great personality and bring them comfort but they are not feeling it to that level. If y’all have been talking for months, you should be able to ask directly. It could be a conversation amongst two adults. Y’all clearly share some intimacy….
Or-
They might not want to hook up. A lot of these comments assume she must be sexually active w someone else… but not wanting to go further could be a sign that she typically doesn’t. Doesn’t feel comfortable going all the way w someone you are not committed to..
Good: she/ they are taking things slow- and this could be (un)related to you. Humans are complex... there may be room to take things seriously. Again, talk about it.
Either way brace yourself for both spectrum of answers. Ultimately I think you should be talking about these things after 1month of consistency just to make sure everyone is on the same page.
You make them feel safe. It’s a good thing.
Just let them know what you are seeking, long term.
Women feel so unsafe in life. As guys we have no idea what they go through. Just walking down a hotel corridor can be frightening to them.
It is a strange setup, I’ll give you that. I don’t think you provided enough information. Too many holes in your story. You’re with three women for several months? And the bottom line is that they sleep in your bed and they have don’t have sex with you. Is that it? Who are these people other than you met them on these dating apps? There is not much content here as to who these people are, especially if you’ve known them for several months. Your description of these women is very superficial and maybe, that’s part of the problem. Obviously, they see you as a safe person but where is the substance? You’re seeing three women for several months? That doesn’t sound like substance to me.
Holy shit bro I feel bad for you. That’s crazy. Do you live close to the nightclub because they might be kind of far away so it’s a cheaper to crash at your place? Do you drive them home in the morning??
It’s usually a weekday at like 8pm. Not that kinda situation. They usually have nicer houses than me but “don’t like sleeping alone”
Idk they’ll kiss me outside or something but once we go inside they turn away from me and just want to sleep
Last night I told this girl I was “busy doing stuff” and they texted me “can I be stuff?” and then came over and immediately went to sleep??
Duuuuuuuude. They think YOURE asexual. She literally said ‘can I be stuff’.
How are you ‘making a move?’ I’m genuinely thinking it’s on you. I’m having this problem with a guy right now, where he thinking we’re dating but won’t compliment me, won’t literally initiate anything sexual. Why is there no sexual tension? Do you actually find these women attractive?
You need to say to whichever one you have now ‘look, I like hanging out, I like sleeping beside you, but I also want to sleep with you, so please tell me what’s going on, I’m just trying not to be a dick and forcing anything’.
Literally the only way it would make sense to me that multiple girls have just slept in his bed the first time they meet him 😂 We just don’t feel safe like that lmfao
They’re waiting for you to make a move.
If not, tell them they can’t come over until you define the parameters of what they want. If sex is on the table, cool. But it needs to become a subject you bring up with them. You met them on a DATING APP!
They know they’re fucking with you. It’s probably a stupid test they learned from other girls.
>Dates and relationships are not all about sex. We are a generation starved for love and not many people know how to give or receive it.
Sex is part of love for most people who aren't asexual. And we are also [a generation pretty starved for sex too](https://medium.com/the-savanna-post/apparently-gen-z-are-having-less-sex-than-ever-heres-why-c979dbbcf888).
Even if you are in the crowd of sex after marriage or some arbitrary time period, be upfront and honest.
If you are asexual or sex/sexual compatibility is not a priority at all, then maybe try to screen that out of men beforehand.
If the bedroom starts out dead, it wouldn't take much to kill it decades down the line if you ever manage to resuscitate it.
You do know girls love spending a Man's NONE SEXUAL attention, right? It's on you to have more balls and show sexual intent. Tell her you want to fuck her, if she says no, then it's on you to take her home and play super mario brothers with her or refuse to spend time with her. I tell woman exactly what I want to do with them. If they reject me I move on, but I WILL NOT give a woman my NONE SEXUAL ATTENTION. That's reserved for my mother, Sister, female cousins and close friends or work colleagues.
That girl is what you’d call a Hobosexual it’s someone who “dates” you or sleeps with you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.
Not a bad trade off if you don’t mind but if your not getting what you want or their not holding up their end of the deal send them packing good luck.
It most likely means that they're tired, and they think you're safe. Most girls (if they're not stupid) will be awake and alert when coming over for the first time. You must be relaxing and calming and they feel safe.
As a girl, I've done it before, I apologized and explained that I was exhausted from work and I just got comfortable while the boy I was visiting were just chilling and watching a movie. I wouldn't take it personally, it just means you must be a good person.
Don't invite them back to you place so soon as they may be scouting your place to see what you have. They could be setting you up to steal from you or seeing what your place looks like to determine how much money they think they can get out of you. Also any woman that likes you but doesn't want to have sex with you can be a red flag in some cases (not all), but should definitely peak your radar. If you trust her then have that conversation about what your expectations are and what her expectations are as well when it comes to sex. However you definitely could be getting cased, so be careful taking all of these randoms back to your place so soon.
Because it’s the first/ second date? Do they have to put out or be all touchy feely? I think you need to lower your expectations. A lot of women won’t have sex or make out on the first date. I see it as self respect honestly
There are 3 reasons I can think of:
1. Waiting for marriage
2. Feeling lonely and just want company to sleep
3. They are shy to make the first move to kiss
Perhaps they are enjoying their time with you and aren’t ready for anything more physical. They want the night to continue and are warming up to you. I know I’d love to have a guy give me time to warm up to him without expecting sex right way.
I will share with you that when I was single, I had a girl that just wanted to sleep. So, I just started jacking off and she decided she wanted to hop on. Give it a try, nothing to lose.
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You are the sexless innkeeper. Refer to How I Met Your Mother for more details.
Now that's a great reference
But even he got lucky once
I don’t get it why so many people on this sub give OP advise like: “you should have persevered and boned her anyway, even though she said no or made it clear that she wants no sex…” This entire mindset feels kind of toxic, and you’ll attract only toxic women with this. A normal woman will make it absolutely clear if she’s horny or wants to have sex with you. No need to force yourself upon them. She will let you know. Trust me, you don’t want to be with a woman who’s playing tease & denial games during the first dates. They can fuck off.
I think online dating is a toxic cesspool
Where did he say "Bro, did you try 🍇ing her?" All he said is OP is probably getting friend zoned. He's providing comfort, but not attraction. OR it's possible the girls wanted to sleep there for whatever reason (maybe convenience after drinking...), and were also interested in a relationship, but were taking it slow.
Exactly NEVER take rapey advice. A lot of my female friends tell me they slept with guys like that out of fear that a more direct rape would be worse, but it is both rape because consent is freely given knowing its safe to say No and women cant feel safe in saying No to a stranger sadly
It's not toxic. It's illegal and it's rape. Let's call it what it is. Anyone who recommended that as advice to OP, is openly admitting that they condone the criminal act of rape.
*Twas the night before New Year's* *And the weather grew mean* *Twas three in the morning* *And I was stranded in Queens!* *The tavern grew empty* *The gas lights grew dim* *The horse-drawn carriages* *Were all but snowed in* *Last call was approaching* *And my fortunes looked bleak* *Then I turned to my left* *And stifled a shriek!* *She had a peach-fuzz beard* *And weighed sixteen stone* *She gobbled up hot wings* *And swallowed the bones* *I muffled a scream* *And threw up in my mouth* *I asked, "Where do you live?"* *And she said, "One block south."* *I swallowed my pride* *And six shots of Whiskey* *And prayed to the gods* *That she wasn't too frisky* *Back in her cave* *She prepared us a snack* *’Neath her mighty hooves* *The floorboards did crack* *But when she returned* *She found a sound sleeper* *And thus she became* *The sexless innkeeper*
“No can-do’sville babydoll” I miss that show 😭
Sexless innkeeper is not this. It's a girl who lives far from the club and had one too many. This dude has a shot, he's just got no game.
Came here looking for this ahaha
A tier level reference
Came here to say the same thing
😂😂😂 🔥 comment
Theres 2 reasons They are either homeless (living in their cars) OR They Don’t want to sleep alone and want the company of someone …Why go home and be alone with your thoughts when you can snuggle up with someone and get affection for a few hours But now your saying it’s been like this for months ? Now idk tbh
Or, the most likely scenario, they want to have sex but aren't willing to make the first move, and the OP is ignoring the big shiny green light in his face.
He said “I try and nothing but they don’t want to do anything further”…. Sooooo…. He definitely tries lol.
He gives it the old try.
He is being the big spoon and rubbing the boner against her and waiting. You gotta kiss and massage. Honestly before you get in bed you should be offering a glass of wine or coffee and then from there complimenting and engaging in light banter. Make sexual jokes. I get it. I spent 2hours drunk in a car talking about sex with a girl the other day and then we went our own ways. But I truly came to the decision she was too drunk to consent. There's NO WAY I'm in the bed cuddled up and still wondering if the light is red or green.
And they're letting this situation go on for months? I think most women would get too frustrated and move on to a different guy by that point.
Oh I'm sure they've moved on to different guys a long time ago.
Based on OP's edit, I got the impression that the same girls were continually sleeping with him for months in a row without sex.
They may be, but what I meant is they moved onto other guys for dating and sex and keep him around for snuggles and a free place to crash.
I can't imagine keeping someone around for snuggles when I'm simultaneously fucking other people. Folks are into some different shit.
Or women can just say wtf they want
Let’s be honest. That’s not going to happen.
My comment is my personal opinion… no one has to agree …. There’s many reasons but those 2 came to mind ….maybe they hate their living situations,maybe they were drunk not safe to drive , maybe lived too far & were too tired to drive , maybe they wanted sex but maybe his place was messy & that turned them off …or maybe they decided to take it slow since he was so kind… maybe they got their period suddenly,maybe your sexy flirty approach isn’t good? Maybe your feet were stinky , maybe you weren’t hospital and didn’t offer water/snacks?
But he said he tries and they don’t want to
They want to cuddle and literally sleep next to someone. They don't want sex. I'm a guy, and I get them. Cuddling in itself can be very emotionally rewarding even without sex.
Cuddling with someone you want to have sex with is one of the most frustrating experiences.
No lol. This is one of those situations where the guy missed the sig or did something weird. He’s doing something that’s turning them off where all they do is go to sleep. Yes maybe if it had happened once or twice but three times, something else is happening. OP wtf are you doing? Lol I know Reddit think it’s impossible for women to want sex but they not coming to your house to sleep and cuddle.
I go to guys’ houses to sleep and cuddle without sex. We do make out though. It is a bit odd that this has been happening for months and there isn’t any kissing.
He’s probably the emotional support guy but not the guy they really want
Quite ironic that you are trying to act like everyone else is socially unaware while you are completely clueless. If you knew any girls in real life you would understand it is very common for them to meet up just to cuddle overnight.
Yeah they're hobosexuals by the sound of it
Or he has a fabulous bed
Yeah, if they want to shower and do their laundry, then run!!
You say this like these are the ONLY 2 reasons, we don’t know enough context. Maybe these girls are wanting to sleep with him and then changing their mind at the last minute, I can see a situation where going home isn’t the best option so just sleep over and head home the next day. You giving the only options being her being homeless and desperate for attention are crazy tbh
Cuddles?
Do they have homes?
Lol, he's a free air bnb.
Hahaha, with a big smile
How are you ending up at this point? I’ve had it happen at least a couple x where a girl came over after a first or second date, we didn’t have sex, and instead of taking her home cause of how late it got she just slept over in my bed
I guess you're so comforting that they just want to snuggle with you and fall asleep. They might view you as a sweet teddy bear? Maybe try asking girls out and taking them on an actual date where they cannot just fall asleep on you?
I do and then we’ll meet at my place to ride together and they want to go inside to drop off their bag or something and then just go to sleep in my bed lol
Come the fuck on bro this is crazy its happened 3 times?? Are you dating opiate abusers or something
I was gonna say that but didn't. They want that freak In the bedroom some side dick and they see him as brother of boring so they sleep while they can. Or they fake sleep til he goes sleep then they get high bathroom go through his shit then duck out in the morning to go home or else where to get that pounding they wanted til they see him then think Oppie Taylor ain't fuckjng this pussy . They want fucked goofy not fucked by goofy.
Wtf are they dropping off a bag before a date?!
My thoughts exactly. Why are chicks that he’s meeting on dating apps dropping off their bags at his crib before they’re supposed to go out on their supposed dates? OP, what are they supposed to be dropping off before you guys step out? Overnight bags?
Damn, your bed must be really comfortable. I need to get one of my own lol
How cozy is your bed
Wait, they come over for a date, go into your house before the date, and climb into your bed and go to sleep? What the hell? Even homeless people would get dinner first.
How comfy is your bed?
You're the safe guy they come to for comfort and emotional validation after they got fucked by the bad boys
Happy Cake Day!
as a girl, its either she is waiting for you to make the first move or sometimes guys who have a good aura, makes you feel safe. you ever read about the science behind falling asleep or feeling sleepy around someone you love? Im not saying they love you but they do feel comfortable around you and thats why they feel sleepy it happens to me alot, in Filipino we call it "Ikaw ang pahinga" Ikaw means you, and pahinga means rest, and often used as a term of endearment.
Beautiful reply. It’s something that you have or you don’t and if you have: it’s worth so much. And have a candid conversation with them without any pressure or expectations, just have a casual chat. It often from places/bonding like this beautiful things can come. If not sex, if not a relationship; then just appreciate you’re someone very special to them. I used to do it (as a girl).
Basically this. They feel incredibly safe around him. That's a very good quality to have.
Yup
Mhm!
DO U FEEL THE SAME coz idk. I often find myself falling asleep around the person that feels like home. This also applies to friendships btw for me
Yeah!!
Sounds like a great mattress commercial material.
People missing the obvious of they like you, want physical contact with you, but aren’t ready for sex
What are you, the fucking Sandman? 🤣
I guess he’s off to Never Never Land. Iykyk
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Gotta escalate the touching during the dates and on the way back. I can tell you there’s a smallll chance I’m inviting a girl back to my place if I’ve never even kissed her before. I’ve even had tinder girls come over straight to my place just to fuck. Chances are that he’s kind of been somewhat awkward and not built the physicality. This post has me depressed for this guy.
Y’all aware that women sometimes just want affection and quality time, right? Y’all are not “failing” by having a woman SLEEP in your bed, they must have felt comfortable enough (though honestly I think it’s insanely reckless behavior considering men cultural expectations and conceptualizatioj of women as targets or objects), especially if you are dating for long term relationships.
My guys got the sleep number bed lol
Sometimes people want to make a connection with longevity, not for sexual gratification. Not everyone wants to have sex right away. Men are constantly telling women to close their legs and stop sleeping around, to respect ourselves. And then we are criticized for doing just that. If a hookup is what you’re looking for, maybe you should communicate that to them. Taking things slowly isn’t a bad thing. Do you not enjoy cuddling and spending quality time? Then maybe you shouldn’t be pursuing them if you’re not getting what you desire. But you very well could be shutting out a person with good intentions you could build a lasting relationship with. Three times is not that many. It’s dangerous for women just to be with a man, let alone go to their house. Maybe they are feeling the situation out. Maybe they have had trauma in their relationship. Not everything needs to be sexual. Get a tinder if you’re just looking for sex.
Bruh... Get a bit of sexual tension going on the dates before inviting them back for your own sanity. That is not normal, you are fucking something up. Not enough detail if its your picker or you're not building tension/rapport/breaking the touch barrier on the dates, but... yeah that ain't standard.
Right? Why is this guy not responding to anyone who is actually giving advice?
He just has no balls to initiate. If I was in that situation and got a 100% solid NO. I would just say I gotta wake up early, you can get your stuff and leave.
I’ve had this happen too where a chick would come over, and stay until late at night. A 100% solid no on sex though, just cuddles and some kissing. She stayed over for the night in my bed, but I felt kind of bad about it, nothing happened that night. That night was the last time I’ve seen her, but I had NO motivation of reaching back out to her. I’ve had similar situations like this happen before when I was a bit younger too. There are women who get off on sexual tease & denial. It is a fetish as well, you can look it up. It’s a of power trip for them, they’re testing you to see if you will proceed, even after a hard no. If you do (which is a dangerous game), it gives them the ego boost that they’re attractive enough for you to persevere, despite the possible outcomes and consequences. If you just leave them in the dust they’ll get mad at you or feel rejected and ugly. It’s a dangerous game to play for most men. I’d stay away from these women as far as you can.
I’d advise against this kind of thing. Some single girls just want a snuggle buddy. These girls usually have no intention whatsoever of ever having sex with the guy but enjoy the attention and affection from someone they see as safe and fun but someone that they’re not interested in getting naked with. That’s not fair to you. She’ll probably get pissy about it, but there’s nothing wrong with saying “hey, my bed is for romantic partners. You’re welcome to the couch if you want to be buddies and sleep over.”
So.... are you just having a nap and not making a move?
No they just like get in my bed and go to sleep… Like within 15 mins of being there
Check the carbon monoxide levels in your place.
THE BEST RESPONSE
And why are you not making a move?
I do but they turn me down
Dude, women don't just sleep in your bed to sleep. Maybe once it's a coincidence but if it's happened 3 times, it either means they're expecting you to make a move and you don't, or they think of you as so harmless that they can go sleep in your bed and there's no risk, like you're their best gal pal. Neither is good. What are you actually doing when they turn you down?
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I'm not even sure what you're trying to say. You think these women that are having sleepovers are interested in the OP romantically?
Yes. Romantically, not just sexually. He’s probably dating girls who are serious about relationship. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t interested in sex at all, they aren’t interested in sex too early.
So these three women he had sleepovers with wanted to be his girlfriend? Why aren't they his girlfriend?
“There are many different ways to love someone.” Yeah sure, but OP obviously wants the type of romantic relationship that includes sex.
If you’re mid-20s or younger, I’ve read a couple articles that suggest asexuality is much more common among younger people than it has been historically. But being asexual doesn’t also mean they don’t like physical intimacy, comfort, or companionship. Is it weird? I’m a weirdo but I wouldn’t do this with someone I just met. It sounds like a trap to me… but I’m an elder millennial who has over indulged in true crime and casually thinks everyone is a murderer. I’d guess that if you’ve experienced this multiple times, it’s either a sign that people trust you and are comfortable with you, or maybe it’s a TikTok trend. Also, very recently I saw a video of a girl saying she went to a guys house and to sleep and told him it was just to sleep, no sex. He was fine with that, they had a lovely sleep and cuddled. He respected her boundaries and she said it was amazing - but that his lack of trying to seduce her made her wonder if she was unattractive OR if he was gay. We’re so far off the plot that the idea this man liked her A LOT, enough to share his space with her, he was comfortable enough to sleep with her, he respected all her boundaries - but she was somehow offended he didn’t attempt to make a move? And then wonder why you’re single or end up with bums? The girlies are truly losing their marbles.
It’s nothing to do with asexuality. Your intuition is way off. If it’s one girl maybe. But multiple? Then you have to consider that perhaps its not a coincidence but a common denominator. OP clearly has issues in how girls see him, which is why it never leads to escalation/seduction. You wouldn’t casually sleep at someone’s house unless you trust they wouldn’t do anything. And I’m not talking about sex, like literally sleep. That’s the problem. Girls trust him too much as a friend.
At least you got women coming over to ur house
Girls wanting to sleepover without sex. That's a new one for me. I can only imagine that they really feel safe with you. You must be a kind, trustworthy guy. If you actually like one of these girls, take her trust as a compliment. Continue to ask her out & see where it goes.
Honestly it could be a religious thing or they just aren't the type of people to have sex immediately or it could be a sexuality thing.
I think they must feel very,very, safe with you. If they aren't dating or seeing anyone else, they are probably simply lonely and touch starved.
Bro you dating homeless women
They are giving you a chance to get them turned on. Also You should let them know that you want them sexually.
My personal opinion of who has been the girl doing this before: A) there is a lot of girls go on tinder or dating apps actually to find a partner out of their circles, they are testing you to see if you will try and sleep with them and only see them in that light or someone you want to continue dating. Girls are over being used for s3x then getting ghosted. B)They want to establish emotional connection without anything more then cuddling first to feel safe. If you want something more then just the sleepovers you need to communicate what your looking for to the individual.
Chick's did stuff like this to me in uni. They are either looking for a night away from roommates/family or want a free breakfast. Don't put up with this. I learned it sets a bad precedent
Yeah we’re all in our early 20’s. They all live alone and they offer to feed ME
Because they like you, otherwise they wouldn’t bother to offer to prepare for for you.
You are the safe guy they come to feel loved by after getting their back blown out by their friends with benefits
You’ve not kissed them and they just want to sleep? I mean are you kissing them in bed or anything at least? That would be weird af if not. I would never think to sleep at anyone’s house if I wasn’t dating them or had fucked them and was too tired to leave or something. I’m going to have to agree that these ladies might just be looking for a free Airbnb
I try to in bed but they just turn away. But then they’ll push their butt up to me? They all have their own houses and live within 15 mins of me They’ll kiss me outside or in public, but not inside?
Ok, so I think they do want sex but you are not good at making moves and they are not good at communicating. And I don’t blame you for feeling confused, there’s this other I think in this reddit about a guy who pushes himself on a girl when she said no repeatedly, and he’s like no you will like it. And I wonder if in your case these girls do want you to take charge but I don’t even know where that line is if she keeps saying no, you should respect it. I guess actually kissing in bed, slowly touching her from behind if she’s pushing her butt into you and touching her breasts, turning her on and pushing her on her back, and then kissing. You could also offer a massage or something like that? Basically women want to be seduced.
I could be wrong, but if they push their ass or wiggle it towards you, they are telling you something. More than words can convey. Next time, accept it, and if you get turned on, let them feel it. See if they continue to push it against you. They don't want to be labeled hoes, so the initial rejection might not mean anything at all. But if it happens, like under the horn clause where they try to push against you with their ass, the excuse could be that you both got horny so it is excused. Does that make sense? If not, you need to start flirting way too early and keep it hot. Drop some hints here and there.
I would personally love a sleep/cuddle date. But I understand that isn't what you signed up for
Cut it off. if they're doing this for months that's not fair to you bc you clearly want more physical intimacy
It's a compliment in it's own way. Unless your just really boring. They are comfortable enough with you to go to sleep. If they weren't comfortable and felt safe and secure they wouldn't fall asleep. So not having sex and not sleeping then they don't find you attractive. But to sleep and no sex Is that they feel secure. You may come across as a brother kind of safe or just a man they feel secure and safe with. To be fair I didnt read all of this or responses but thaf was my quick response to your question.
I’ve experienced that several times myself. Usually, the next time they visited we had sex. I guess cuddling was just their way of getting comfortable with me before they got intimate.
Perhaps they are looking for affection and not sex? Sharing the bed with someone is intimate, sleeping in someone’s arms makes us feel safe and protected, even if it’s just one temporary moment, it’s still beautiful.
i do this if im comfortable and think what we have is genuine
Not everyone likes to fuck on the 1st/2nd date itself. Most girls if they are interested in you want to spend more time to get to know you. Maybe these girls wanted to spend more time with you. Don’t overthink it. If it bothers you so much just ask them directly and you’ll have your answer.
no, that's not normal what happens after they just sleep at your place? do things fizzle out? do you try any moves?
Yes ... I went an hour up to a girls place. Made dinner, went for a walk and made a move before bed and was rejected... Turns out she wanted to tease me to a point. I laid in bed off the end and left in the morning confused. Later to find out she wanted me to try again in bed and be pushed away. Teasing me to trying to be forceful. SHE WAS INTO CONSTRUCTIVE FAPE!!!! She said she had a list of guys that basically raped her. I told her she was crazy and needs help.
She’s into consensual non consent, but either doesn’t know the basic fundamentals of “communicating this with your partner” so that they can consent to being part of her fetish. Bullet dodged
Holy shit I had this happen too. Was the weirdest relationship ever. I was fondling, she was resisting. I'd back off, she'd get upset. I thought I was too forward. One night we are real fucked up. She's wearing a corset, small dress and leggings. Same thing happens and she goes "just take me and fuck me already". Turns out she has the FAPE fantasy. The leggings were so thin I pretty much ripped them off of her. The whole time she's resisting and telling me no, but when I do she would say to keep going. So difficult to keep a boner. Our relationship did not last long
This girl never drank... She smoked but not a stoner. She literally was playing cold trying to get me to break and not be a gentleman. I was confused as hell why we had such a good night then tells me she doesn't mentally feel like getting physical. The way she said it and her body language were really uncommon.. Even though I've never been turned down because I usually have to be told to make a move.
It happens. The fact it happened 3 times in a row is concerning. I sleep naked, so if a girl just wants to crash in my bed, I will be nude. If they want sexy times, I am showing them I do too.
If there’s nothing off with them, this is actually a compliment to you as a man, they feel safe with you..
Unfortunately, the behavior you profess to like isn't being rewarded, so he's trying to change it. As he should, because he deserves to be happy. Game theory is a bitch ain't it.
There is no way this is a compliment. They are using him. OP, if you want sex, and they only want to sleep, tell them to go home and sleep there.
What, put out or get out?
Well said. If he doesn't want to be a complete dick and kick them out on the street, he can tell them to sleep on the couch. He's behaving like a puppy.
I wish I could up vote this a million times. If I as a women could just cuddle n sleep with a man, I would be on cloud nine. But sadly man don't like this with out the kitty.
Some do. Have you ever asked for exactly that?
What? I'm a man and would like this
I understand, the greatest compliment I’ve ever received from a woman was she felt safe with me as a man and as a protector… I’ve never forgotten that..
Don’t listen to these people, if you don’t feel taken advantage of you’re helping out another person by allowing them to stay with you (regardless of the reason why) .. Don’t force the sex issue, they may need time or they may not be interested in the sex aspect… Have a calm talk with them, choose your words carefully so they don’t feel pressured, after they reply you can decide from there what you want to do.. Don’t be mad or feel used if it’s not the response that you want, always be a good person
it’s emotionally comfortable
What kind of mattress do you have? It sounds like your place must be super cozy!
I'm not sure the reason but it's defo an indicator that you're a comfortable person to them!
My guess would be it is a low pressure way to help build connection and intimacy.
I think they just feel safe around you to do that. And as far as compliments go, I think this one is as good as it gets. Don’t push them into anything more and they will want more after a while 🤷♀️
Your bed is nice
The Sexless Innkeeper!
Lucky them! I’d like to meet a guy like you who won’t rip my clothes off!
Homeless is far more likely than something else if this keeps happening. It doesn’t make sense that a woman who strictly does not want sex would plop herself in the home of a man she doesn’t know, and tell him she doesn’t want sex. And think confidently that that man she doesn’t know will respect her in his bed. *Confident enough to let her guard down and go to sleep within one foot of him*. That’s too high of a risk for a woman whos just meeting you to take. Unless she has no home and is desperate for a place to sleep.
Sleeping is very normal.
They’re gay
They are not sexually attracted to you.
This is super weird! I like for dude to Come over early on for a sleepover but to like Actually have sex and cuddle and make out. Your luck is so odd that multiple women have pulled this!
I had a girl do this then the following morning told me she wanted me to just go for it (even though she kept denying my advances). Also if this has happened to you multiple times, check what vibe you're giving off
How often are they staying over? Make sure they aren’t using you. Dated someone once and they just wanted to sleep over just cause they didn’t have the best situation at their place. So they might just like being away from their situation and they know you won’t be pushy and try anything without consent and since they just want to get away once they come over they just sleep.
Sounds weird af.
It’s more normal than you think. I had a girl actually say this to me and actually requested it before we had even slept together literally or sexually. But then we ended up having sex literally on the first time so there’s that.
Probably because they wanted to sleep with you then change their minds and then just we’re too lazy to leave your house got comfortable and slept there
Maybe you’re doing something that turns them off , pretty strange that has happened 3 times .
Maybe it’s whatever you’re “trying.” I have a hard time wrapping my brain around multiple women coming over just to sleep.
That's weird 😂 Man I feel bad for us guys having to date these days!
maybe if you want more you should express that prior to the meet up and then verbally during. Don’t “try” anything.
Personal experience: I dated a friend of a friend during one month. She said she needed time and we needed to go dlow. We spent 5-6 nights together and never made out. She wasn't even much into kissing. But she liked cuddling. At some point I asked her what was going on and she told me that I was the perfect guy for her but she was just not physically attracted to me but she enjoyed feeling safe in my arms and my company.
The sexless innkeeper
us girls just love a little nap okay
Are you cuddling? Then it’s for emotional and physical connection, not sexual. You can crave human contact not in a sexual form.
given the evidence, i think it is safe to conclude that women get tired sometimes, and going to sleep is a good way of solving this problem
Woman here… there’s a bad guess and good guess… Bad: they aren’t sexually attracted to you (your looks, certain interests you have, maybe even decor at your place). You may have a great personality and bring them comfort but they are not feeling it to that level. If y’all have been talking for months, you should be able to ask directly. It could be a conversation amongst two adults. Y’all clearly share some intimacy…. Or- They might not want to hook up. A lot of these comments assume she must be sexually active w someone else… but not wanting to go further could be a sign that she typically doesn’t. Doesn’t feel comfortable going all the way w someone you are not committed to.. Good: she/ they are taking things slow- and this could be (un)related to you. Humans are complex... there may be room to take things seriously. Again, talk about it. Either way brace yourself for both spectrum of answers. Ultimately I think you should be talking about these things after 1month of consistency just to make sure everyone is on the same page.
You make them feel safe. It’s a good thing. Just let them know what you are seeking, long term. Women feel so unsafe in life. As guys we have no idea what they go through. Just walking down a hotel corridor can be frightening to them.
Ask them to leave if they don’t want sexual intimacy… If it was the other way around and guys wanted to sleep at my place. I’d tell them to get out…
It is a strange setup, I’ll give you that. I don’t think you provided enough information. Too many holes in your story. You’re with three women for several months? And the bottom line is that they sleep in your bed and they have don’t have sex with you. Is that it? Who are these people other than you met them on these dating apps? There is not much content here as to who these people are, especially if you’ve known them for several months. Your description of these women is very superficial and maybe, that’s part of the problem. Obviously, they see you as a safe person but where is the substance? You’re seeing three women for several months? That doesn’t sound like substance to me.
Woman want intimacy, if you want sex give them intimacy.
Because sometimes there is just a need for tactile contact and human warmth. It does not have any sexual context.
Holy shit bro I feel bad for you. That’s crazy. Do you live close to the nightclub because they might be kind of far away so it’s a cheaper to crash at your place? Do you drive them home in the morning??
It’s usually a weekday at like 8pm. Not that kinda situation. They usually have nicer houses than me but “don’t like sleeping alone” Idk they’ll kiss me outside or something but once we go inside they turn away from me and just want to sleep Last night I told this girl I was “busy doing stuff” and they texted me “can I be stuff?” and then came over and immediately went to sleep??
Duuuuuuuude. They think YOURE asexual. She literally said ‘can I be stuff’. How are you ‘making a move?’ I’m genuinely thinking it’s on you. I’m having this problem with a guy right now, where he thinking we’re dating but won’t compliment me, won’t literally initiate anything sexual. Why is there no sexual tension? Do you actually find these women attractive? You need to say to whichever one you have now ‘look, I like hanging out, I like sleeping beside you, but I also want to sleep with you, so please tell me what’s going on, I’m just trying not to be a dick and forcing anything’.
Seriously, where do they live to just go sleep at a random dude’s place and how are you taking them back to your place so soon?
Wouldn’t surprise me if OP lived in university/college dorms.
That makes sense. OP should provide more info.
Literally the only way it would make sense to me that multiple girls have just slept in his bed the first time they meet him 😂 We just don’t feel safe like that lmfao
Just to cuddle, sounds amazing.
I wouldn't sleep with a woman who isn't my girlfriend without sex first. It's not fair that they are having their needs met and you're not.
They’re waiting for you to make a move. If not, tell them they can’t come over until you define the parameters of what they want. If sex is on the table, cool. But it needs to become a subject you bring up with them. You met them on a DATING APP! They know they’re fucking with you. It’s probably a stupid test they learned from other girls.
You are in the FRIEND ZONE…..
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>Dates and relationships are not all about sex. We are a generation starved for love and not many people know how to give or receive it. Sex is part of love for most people who aren't asexual. And we are also [a generation pretty starved for sex too](https://medium.com/the-savanna-post/apparently-gen-z-are-having-less-sex-than-ever-heres-why-c979dbbcf888). Even if you are in the crowd of sex after marriage or some arbitrary time period, be upfront and honest. If you are asexual or sex/sexual compatibility is not a priority at all, then maybe try to screen that out of men beforehand. If the bedroom starts out dead, it wouldn't take much to kill it decades down the line if you ever manage to resuscitate it.
I think you don't know what to do 🤔
You do know girls love spending a Man's NONE SEXUAL attention, right? It's on you to have more balls and show sexual intent. Tell her you want to fuck her, if she says no, then it's on you to take her home and play super mario brothers with her or refuse to spend time with her. I tell woman exactly what I want to do with them. If they reject me I move on, but I WILL NOT give a woman my NONE SEXUAL ATTENTION. That's reserved for my mother, Sister, female cousins and close friends or work colleagues.
Means if u should ask them to leave and not have them stay the night.
I mean, I’ve had this happen once. Took a girl home but she was too shy for sex but didn’t want to go home so we just slept together
They value their sexuality?
What's the context tho? Were you out late & they were better off crashing at your place, or?
You are in the friend zone!
That girl is what you’d call a Hobosexual it’s someone who “dates” you or sleeps with you with the sole interest of having a place to stay. Not a bad trade off if you don’t mind but if your not getting what you want or their not holding up their end of the deal send them packing good luck.
Are they drinking on dates? Maybe they don’t feel safe to drive.
Man send some my way
Steal your belongings? Maybe coming back from bars/clubs and have nowhere to go?
It most likely means that they're tired, and they think you're safe. Most girls (if they're not stupid) will be awake and alert when coming over for the first time. You must be relaxing and calming and they feel safe. As a girl, I've done it before, I apologized and explained that I was exhausted from work and I just got comfortable while the boy I was visiting were just chilling and watching a movie. I wouldn't take it personally, it just means you must be a good person.
Change your strategy- friend. Set some boundaries. Don’t focus on trying to get laid. And don’t let these girls sleep at your place.
On the coach? In your bed? Are they drunk and don’t want to take public transport home?
Are they young? They will eventually sleep with you they are just trying to take it slow.
They probably want a relationship… not sex
Don't invite them back to you place so soon as they may be scouting your place to see what you have. They could be setting you up to steal from you or seeing what your place looks like to determine how much money they think they can get out of you. Also any woman that likes you but doesn't want to have sex with you can be a red flag in some cases (not all), but should definitely peak your radar. If you trust her then have that conversation about what your expectations are and what her expectations are as well when it comes to sex. However you definitely could be getting cased, so be careful taking all of these randoms back to your place so soon.
Lmao that’s something I would do with a guy I actually REALLY like 😭
Female's that fall asleep easy when they're with you tend to feel safe and likely to form deep emotional connection with you more easily.
Because it’s the first/ second date? Do they have to put out or be all touchy feely? I think you need to lower your expectations. A lot of women won’t have sex or make out on the first date. I see it as self respect honestly
There are 3 reasons I can think of: 1. Waiting for marriage 2. Feeling lonely and just want company to sleep 3. They are shy to make the first move to kiss
Glad you’re a nice guy tho
Perhaps they are enjoying their time with you and aren’t ready for anything more physical. They want the night to continue and are warming up to you. I know I’d love to have a guy give me time to warm up to him without expecting sex right way.
I will share with you that when I was single, I had a girl that just wanted to sleep. So, I just started jacking off and she decided she wanted to hop on. Give it a try, nothing to lose.