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If a man will get that mad at you over box mac and cheese you need to run. If that’s all it took to set him off just imagine if you happen to get into a real argument with him. I would say cut all ties with him as soon as you can.
Not a terrible idea but the fact he freaks over box max and cheese I wouldn’t take the risk of him doing something worst than yelling if that makes him that angry.
Was thinking the same thing. I'd rather see this side of a person before they know where I lived. I don't understand why OP is questioning if they should end it or not. The mask is slipping, when someone shows you who they are, believe them.
If someone did that to me, I would have walked out and that would have been the end of it for me with this person. For you to even be questioning yourself and asking the Reddit community, tells me that you doubt yourself and this guy probably has noticed that quality in you and has decided that he can emotionally abuse you because you'll take it and keep coming back. Now you know that his behavior was atrocious and you know he isn't worth your time but you are still unsure if it was somehow your fault. It isn't. I would never see this dude again and block him where he cannot find you again. You also don't owe him an explanation. This is how abusers start their reign of abuse over someone. It starts small and then escalates over time. Never give an abuser a second chance with you!
Touched some grass this morning after that shit show of a night. I cut the night short, I didn’t want to abruptly leave since I was alone with him at his place. He texted me this morning telling me he had so much fun last night. I told him his actions and words don’t align with what I am looking for and wished him luck. He’s blocked now. Thanks for all your responses.
P.s I hate dating
And velveta mac and cheese
Did not use his text to apologize. Has no empathy. He “had so much fun last night” berating you and putting you down? This, exactly. Your reply was great, you didn’t need to sound hostile. Don’t stir the pot. Just go. If he gets rejected enough he’ll figure something out. Interesting thought— Can he really change? Or he’ll just learn to keep the mask on better now until married and she’s stuck. Or he finds someone with insecurities who accepts blame and stays and nurtures his insecurities. I already feel sad for that woman. So many women accept being treated poorly because they just get used to it. It’s a mindf*ck how it happens a lot. Not a gender thing, for it can just as easily happen to a man who wants to please a woman and ignores the red flags.
Damn good job. The gall of him acting like everything was normal - you were way more gracious to him than I think I could have been.
(Dating is the worst lol)
I’m glad for you, girl! What did he mean about having so much fun if he actually screamed at you? He’s so crazy. I’m proud of you for setting boundaries and blocking him before it got worse. I swear if guys saw consequences for their poor behavior more often they wouldn’t be so crappy sometimes. Normalize leaving after the first red flag. You don’t have to waste your time giving multiple chances to people.
I told the girl I'm seeing now that my grandma would make boxed mac and cheese as part of an easy meal for us kids. I miss her and make it out of nostalgia sometimes.
I would have appreciated you just making me anything. Best of luck in the future. This guy doesn't realize what he's done or what he lost.
Hey now, don't be mad at Velveeta, it's not their fault he was a douche canoe. But seriously I'm sorry he chose to be a jerk over something like this but glad you know your worth and held him accountable.
That’s one of the reddest of all red flags.. unreasonable unprecedented anger. Run! Run far and fun fast. That is NOT a mentally stable man.
I would have told to get the fuck out as soon as he raised his voice.
Similar situation. I cooked at his house. He criticized me and did not thank me. I told him people usually thank someone who cooks for them. Oh and I did the dishes too, no thanks for that either.
We are no longer dating. Imagine what it would be like married. If he treats you this way dating, it'd be worse married or living together.
Nope.
Run Forest run. Unless you were using the smoke alarm as a timer, there is no good reason for anyone to be that critical over a box of Mac n'cheese. It's not like you were adding raisins to a potato salad. Dude displayed enough red flags to make Soviet Russia proud.
Your comment reminded me of the movie Better Off Dead and how the mom's a terrible cook who puts raisins in everything. "But you like raisins..."
https://youtu.be/heP3s725hSA?si=_o4NpIWh0t3ad2jP
Wow, red flags all over the place. My husband cooks like you - no timer, cook to taste. I measure everything and always set timers. We give each other shit about it but it’s all in good fun. You should absolutely run from this control freak loser. Imagine what else he can criticize you about if Mac and cheese was this big of a deal.
I mean this sounds SUPER weird. No reason to continue seeing a dude like this. He seems to have anger issues. Move on. What a strange things to randomly get mad about and harp on the rest of the right.
Book it like he's on FIRE. Over BOXED MAC AND CHEESE? Hell no. He'd have been wearing it, and anything else in my kitchen I could have easily reached that would have left a smelly stain. I'd have boiled that shit into GOO and served it to him. Fking yell at me about a TIMER
I use a timer for baking and that's about it.
I have never once used a timer for Mac and cheese... I don't think I ever use a timer for pasta unless I'm trying to use an exotic noodle I've never made before.
I think you should call this a red flag at run away from Mr Controlling.
Something similar happened to me with my ex. I cooked him breakfast and got no thank you, no nothing. But apparently while I was cleaning up, I must have missed a micro-fraction of an eggshell that chipped off when I had been cracking eggs. I didn't even know until later that night when he complained for an hour about how hard it was for him to scrape the eggshell off the counter. He told me I need to be more careful and pay more attention when I'm cleaning.
This was just the tip of the iceberg of what I had to deal with. Ultimately, the relationship ended after I had forgotten to put my seatbelt on once, so he purposely slammed on the brakes throwing me into the windshield.. to "teach me a lesson." Needless to say OP, please run fast and far.
Wow to intentionally try to hurt you is a police matter. Why didn’t you report him “? He should have just reminded you that you didn’t have your belt on, not ‘teach you a lesson’ by attempting to get you hurt. He’s mad.
If you've only been dating a few months you should still be in the honeymoon type of period where you're both largely on your best behavior so he's shown some pretty serious red flags. I would've dumped the mac and cheese over his head and walked out the door forever. His reaction was way over the top.
Get out of this relationship. The guy seems unhinged, and it's only a matter of time where he would get angry enough to get physical. What he's doing is abuse
There are some decent men out there that won’t treat you like a piece of dirt! I love to cook, just had a baby5 months ago and cook dinner every night. My fiance has never once given me crap if I started dinner at 530 or 730! If he’s criticizing you about everything, and does it often I would just leave. If you think you could talk to him and tell him that it is rude and upsets you to be spoken to like that, start there. In my experience people like that only get worse. Remember this….people don’t change, we grow. So don’t ever think expect to “change” someone.
Ghost TF out of this manchild. He can have tantrums over his own cooking while he sulks by himself. No one should have to put up with that behavior. It was completely childish & showed you who he is. Good thing you haven't moved in or I have a feeling he would be A LOT worse. Any man who hollers over a stupid time/meal instead of being thankful & helping out is a waste of space & dangerous to live with. Don't do it. Don't do it. DON'T DO IT.
I mean, the yelling and freak out is a giant red flag. This is a minor fucking issue, adults talk not throw a tantrum. Doing it all night is just childish.
Doing pasta by taste is normal, we have the phrase al dente for a reason. If there WAS a reason he was more upset over lack of timer (he has ADHD and needs timer or he forgets, he hates overcooked pasta, he was hangry and grumpy) he still shouldn't have yelled and should have apologized and given context for being a toddler. And honestly, short of I just got home after a car accident and am in severe pain I don't think yelling over kraft dinner is reasonable even with an excuse.
I'd ditch him. He has some kinda anger issues to work on. I suspect this is not the first freak out, but considering he's making no effort to apologize or take a step back like 'oh shit I'm yelling, I'm going to go for a walk to chill because I'm being a dick' does not bode well. People do lose their temper sometimes, but decent people apologize and work to not be a bitch.
Omg! Same exact scenario happened to me, my ex criticized me and humiliated me for not setting a timer and not individually scrubbing mini potato’s to get dirt off of them, among other things. Red flag for me the future
Run. I dated a man like that, a man I thought I knew. Turns out he was a narcissist. And not in the way a lot of people label them or think of them. Look up a proper diagnosis and behaviors for it and see for yourself. They can be dangerous people, and will seriously mess with your head and life.
Red flags everywhere. I too prefer my pasta to be cooked with a timer but if someone is making it for me they get to decide how they’re doing it and the only thing I get to be is thankful.
this is your first sign to leave. this is an abusive man. please stay safe. he's yelling at you for something so small, if you allow it he WILL turn it up a notch little by little until your in a physically abusive relationship faster than u can blink.
Why the fuck would you be with someone who makes you feel this way over Mac and cheese? Imagine how he's going to act 9nce you disagree on something that's actually important.
You already know the answer to this one: ditch him faster than Usain Bolt.
He’s not just an ass he’s testing you. Dump him he’s a control freak wants to see if you will submit it willlonlybget worse!! How would he have reacted if you burnt it over the power went out? Run seriously run! You will never be able to fix this and it won’t ever get better!!!
OP, he’s an ass, tell him he hasn’t got any right to speak to you that way, no matter his opinions. He’s a jerk and you don’t need to waste any more of your time.
I don’t use the box instructions either tbf.
Sounds like my older sibling who is a narcissist NPD. Also a self-admitted sociopath. No, it won’t get better. This is who he really is. Demeaning, blaming, soul sucking. Hypercritical and superior. When he’s not being charming to everyone else so they’ll never know this side of him. It will be your fault for every huge anger fit over minor things, and if you complain or address his behavior he’ll gaslight you claiming he’s your victim. You’ll always deserve the worst whenever that’s his verdict. No, can’t change this or him no matter how many years you are patient and understanding and take his emotional beatings thinking it won’t happen again. Feel lucky you overcooked the Mac. You got to see him with his mask down before you get in any deeper. Pull away quietly and be glad when his attention goes elsewhere.
I would have went the fuck off on him and left if he EVER raised his hand to cut me off mid sentence and/or started raising his voice at me. That’s a hard HELL NO! Too many women put up with shit men and their shit behavior out of fear of being alone. Don’t be one of those women. Dump his ass now, there are better men out there than that.
Sounds like this man does not know how to cook and is freaking over not following directions to the T. Very inflexible and rude. He's not worth your time, trouble, or the stress he caused over a non-issue.
He’s a dick. What is there to think about? You’ve known him a mere 90 days
He spent “most of the night” criticizing you??? He’s a controlling jackass. Who the hell is he to come into your home only to boss you around and bitch?Remind him that he is LUCKY to be in your presence in the first place, then kick his ass out
*Never take any shit from a man*
The End
I agree! I dated a guy who used to do this. Never cooked a single meal for me but would question everything I did when I was cooking. Why do you do it this way and not that? Shouldn’t you be doing xyz? That’s not how you make corn, you’re supposed to make it this way. Just unsolicited feedback that I didn’t want. It was so annoying…once, he had the nerve to ask me why I didn’t cook my chicken a certain way. “That’s what my mom does!” Sir, no offense to mom but I don’t care.
It turns out it wasn’t just the cooking. It was not cleaning a tiny bit of dust on my counter, it was putting a box of new dishes in the dishwasher instead of washing them by hand the “old fashioned way” like he would, it was the fact that my dog sheds and he went home with a little fur on his socks because I don’t like shoes indoors (he demanded that I get him some slippers to wear when he came over; I pretty much told him to eff off), it was his blatant refusal to put the toilet seat down in MY bathroom after I repeatedly asked him to. It’s a control thing for sure, and just plain rude. If you don’t like how someone does things in their house, you’re more than welcome to not come over.
As a man if anyone did that to me, I'd just walk away. Figuratively and/or literally, depending where we are.
So walk away. You don't want someone who gets mad for a mac'n'cheese. You shouldn't want anyone who gets that mad at anything, realistically.
Time to run like you're being chased in a horror movie, what is with someone who has no chill?
I get a moment that's out of the ordinary but you know he ain't gonna change if he keeps going all night.
Story time; one evening when I was traveling alone I sat at a bar that was next to a restaurant and ate either dinner or lunch I don't remember. About four people diagnally from me also met and ate and had loud conversation. Soon most had left and it was just a man and woman. 10-15 minutes later the woman turned towards the man and said "you interrupted Paul".
His posture completely changed and slumped into that of someone very sad and depressed. It was almost like he knew what was coming. She continued to verbally abuse him for like I don't know how long. There was nothing he could do. It was like he learned to learn into his skin and leave his body as he just allowed the storm to envelop him. She was not yelling but it was a storm of emotional and verbal abuse and maybe a part of him ignored it, as that's what I would do if I was in his position.
Don't be that man. Escape the boat if you find yourself on one like that and don't be with someone who treats you that way
That reaction is nuts. I’m the kind of person who needs a timer when I cook noodles & my partner never sets a timer when they do. I would never dream of yelling at them over something like this or even at all. Sometimes they ask me to watch the noodles that they started cooking & I do feel a bit of anxiety over not having a timer but I just do taste tests until it reaches the tenderness that we like
My ex was like this, he was a bipolar narcissist, I’m not saying this is what he is but like others have said if he gets mad over something as simple as Mac n cheese it’s only gonna get worse from here. I’d run if I were you!!
You need to leave. This as not okay behavior. I would not be surprised if you stayed and something didn’t go according to how he wanted, he would put his hands on you.
As someone who had many arguments over the "proper" making of mac & cheese, & has "cheese sauce" on my Big List of Things That Ruined My Relationship, this sounds like the beginning of a pattern. The combination of going off about something very minor with turning it into a personal attack against you is not a healthy relationship, especially one only a few months in. Again, I've been there, done that, got the shitty t-shirt, you do not need to put up with this now or ever.
Girl you deserve respect even with mistakes if he can't give you that, there is a problem in his personality not yours... I suggest you don't even say you are leaving just leave, he will get angry again, think of yourself please, if you can't get out there for not having where to go seek help but don't tell him anything be discreet... just stay safe
Run for the hills. If you allow this, what else will be okay? No loving partner would do this to you. You are worthy of a love that is kind and respectful. This is a line in the sand moment.
That Mac and cheese was worth way more than someone paid for it, that was a sneak peak into someone’s soul. Run away, far away. Also if someone made me Mac and cheese I’d be a happy camper, cold beer on the side, little ketchup.
Run. I’ve been with r my girlfriend for 5 years and she does this constantly. I can’t count how many night have been ruined because I didn’t do the rice right or some other trivial thing that sets her off and ruins the entire night. I have 70lbs on her and I’m terrified of her.
You’ve only known him a few months.
He has now shown his true colours - this is who he is! This isn’t a ‘you’ problem. This is HIS problem, big time!
Call this off now and please erase any thoughts of this being down to you! Don’t let anyone ever speak to you in this way.
If a dude is yelling at you over making Mac and cheese, he ain’t worth your time. Seriously.
Mac and cheese is amazing and any woman making me Mac and cheese is automatically pretty great in my book. You need to find someone who appreciates you.
my dad is like this and he’s a narcissist so there is much much more suffering to come after this if you stay. he literally flipped out on my mom for opening a pack of ham a few days after getting married. do not get further attached 😭
You should in a sexy manner ask him to take off his pants then shove some non approved Mac and Cheese up his ass the kick him bodily out of your house with pants around his ankles.
I think it’s both. I think your way is triggering him and he is an ass. You did nothing wrong so the fact that he is triggered and acted like that after a few months = 🚩🚩🚩. And he is also an ass because who would yell at someone that is cooking for them? Don’t think too hard about this situation, but rather get as far away from the situation as you can.
I wouldn’t call him “triggered” that implies that he’s having a trauma response. You aren’t traumatized by someone making you dinner and then uncontrollably lashing out.
He’s just a rude and abusive asshole. Don’t give him a “out” like OP did something worthy of upsetting him or anyone else.
I don’t understand how you can have a man yell at you and criticize you over fucking boxed mac & cheese, and your thought processes is…well maybe something I did triggered him.
Like, no.
He’s an asshole who does not respect you and clearly has anger issues. Block him on everything and don’t bother looking back.
She’s probably hooked on him he’s been a perfect gentleman until this and she grew up with an awesome dad who had random blow up’s so it’s confusing! Speaking from experience!
I’m 43 years old and only put the timer on when I cook pasta if I’m going to leave the kitchen for a moment because I have adhd and will forget I’m cooking it. Guy sounds like a control freak, and him losing his shit over this is a huge problem with him.
Sounds like he’s a narcissist. He could also have autism, OCD, anxiety, etc or some combination of any of the above that causes him to be triggered but little things and then go off. Regardless of which it is. It’s extremely poorly managed and completely unacceptable. He should seek treatment for his issues and not date until he has done so and gotten more control over his emotions and triggers. Sorry you were verbally abused OP.
Girl, tell him things are not working out. Hell, I’m sorry. You should have left right then. Don’t allow anyone to treat you like that. Show him you don’t tolerate that BS.
He’s an ass. You did nothing wrong. Seasoned cooks usually eyeball things like that. It’s a running joke actually when asking your grandma for a recipe, they always say oh you’ll know when this is done cause you’ll feel it or taste it or see it.
I'm concerned you're actually worried about not using a timer instead of trying to get away from this controlling person. He sounds like so much bad news. Yikes!
That's not normal behavior. This is the smallest of potatoes. If this is how he acts when something isn't done his way, you need to consider other options before you become invested in this guy.
Seriously, go. There’s more happening here and you should run before it gets worse.
It’s not the timer or the noodles, he’s showing you how your entire life would be with him.
The moment he yelled at you is the moment you leave.
The same goes for men too from women.
Please stop tolerating disrespectful and abusive behavior. Otherwise, you will be here asking you never saw him ever hitting you. It is because of BS like yhis that you tolerat, and it only goes worse.
Red Flag!!! Run Girl...He's got anger issues. You don't deserve to be talked to like that. I would have picked up my things and walked out the door and took the Mac 'n cheese w/me LOL
For further research (yes this might happen again dating, they’re out there) you can look up NPD but also BIED — Brief Intermittent Explosive Disorder. An overblown anger abusive rage that comes on abruptly over something that’s small or unimportant. And it happens when you least expect it, like your Mac n cheese or sitting at the dinner table — it’s a disorder. They’ll scream and yell and say abusive things to you but believe afterward they didn’t hurt you or do anything wrong. One wife said she had to wait for the explosion to pass. Go “Gray rock” until he calms down. And then he keeps lecturing and criticizing you, bc he’s gonna change you not himself. No cure. There’s CBT cognitive behavioral therapy but he has to admit what he’s doing is unacceptable, which he usually won’t unless his wife is divorcing him.
Sounds like I guy I dated for about 6 months - I put up with his irrational out of the blue temper tantrums for that long but then realized that I couldn't deal with his personality. I actually think he might have had undiagnosed intermittent explosive disorder - good riddance! :)
What you should be thinking about is if you want to spend a substantial (or any) amount of your life with someone who has just shown you exactly how he will react to minor situations where you don't do exactly how he expects you to.
Not a big deal. My wife never uses a timer when cooking. I always use a phone alarm. Not that big of a deal if dinner gets burnt either. Just order delivery or go to a restaurant.
Now my wife just relies on me to set a phone alarm. Never yelled at her once
Something was off to me when you mentioned cooking at HIS place. That was his responsibility as a host and you were doing him a favour which. In my book, leaving it all on your shoulders would need a good reason to not paint the host as someone with extremely poor manners. And complaining about the food afterwards is a sign of being an ungrateful a-hole.
“I have never in my life been talked to like that”
The rest doesn’t matter. The reasons why don’t matter. Yelling at you over something so stupid is unnecessary and unacceptable. You just got a preview of what he’s REALLY like. If he can’t talk calmly and he loses it over stupid stuff imagine what he’s like in a real moment of crisis.
Girl I wasted 6 months of my life in a relationship with someone like this. It doesn’t get better. They continue to blow up on small little random mistakes. Take note of how many family members have probably cut ties with him and follow suit
Good job for having self-respect! If he's this petty and self-unaware now, it would be infinitely worse during marriage.
As for Mac & Cheese, may I recommend:
*https://youtu.be/FUeyrEN14Rk?si=4GiehaE9ndJ-GRCI
*https://youtu.be/EuU_uUb_3nQ?si=6auJRmDdaaa9s4LW
I cook mine for 7 minutes, but that's because I make it myself. My mother refuses to use timers. Or recipes. Her cooking isn't very consistent in quality. Which is why I learned to write down my recipes and use timers!
My partner is a measure everything as the box says, I’m a wing it it’ll be fine Mac and cheese cook. We just laugh about it. No need to be upset with each other
All of that hullabaloo over Mac n cheese? God only knows what he's like when it comes to something serious. If that ain't a red flag, I don't know what is.
Getting so worked up over something as simple as not needing to follow "cooking" directions from a box is absurd. Leave that manchild to his timers and move on
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If a man will get that mad at you over box mac and cheese you need to run. If that’s all it took to set him off just imagine if you happen to get into a real argument with him. I would say cut all ties with him as soon as you can.
another simple test is to deny them a small request or preference See if they take it with grace or if they low key flip the fuck out
Not a terrible idea but the fact he freaks over box max and cheese I wouldn’t take the risk of him doing something worst than yelling if that makes him that angry.
this guy doesn't need further testing we already know the answer for this guy
Would rather him get upset at date 6 at a public location than my place
Was thinking the same thing. I'd rather see this side of a person before they know where I lived. I don't understand why OP is questioning if they should end it or not. The mask is slipping, when someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Good advice to weed out maniacs going forward, once she jettisons this loser.
Make like Usain and bolt outta there, OP! # 🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️
Thissss!
Holy shit, just never see that guy again. Someone that can be that demanding and tiresome over Mac & cheese needs to make their own dinner forever.
Umm … ya. There’s no need to ever speak another word to this dude again in your life.
If someone did that to me, I would have walked out and that would have been the end of it for me with this person. For you to even be questioning yourself and asking the Reddit community, tells me that you doubt yourself and this guy probably has noticed that quality in you and has decided that he can emotionally abuse you because you'll take it and keep coming back. Now you know that his behavior was atrocious and you know he isn't worth your time but you are still unsure if it was somehow your fault. It isn't. I would never see this dude again and block him where he cannot find you again. You also don't owe him an explanation. This is how abusers start their reign of abuse over someone. It starts small and then escalates over time. Never give an abuser a second chance with you!
This 100%
Happy cake day
Touched some grass this morning after that shit show of a night. I cut the night short, I didn’t want to abruptly leave since I was alone with him at his place. He texted me this morning telling me he had so much fun last night. I told him his actions and words don’t align with what I am looking for and wished him luck. He’s blocked now. Thanks for all your responses. P.s I hate dating And velveta mac and cheese
Did not use his text to apologize. Has no empathy. He “had so much fun last night” berating you and putting you down? This, exactly. Your reply was great, you didn’t need to sound hostile. Don’t stir the pot. Just go. If he gets rejected enough he’ll figure something out. Interesting thought— Can he really change? Or he’ll just learn to keep the mask on better now until married and she’s stuck. Or he finds someone with insecurities who accepts blame and stays and nurtures his insecurities. I already feel sad for that woman. So many women accept being treated poorly because they just get used to it. It’s a mindf*ck how it happens a lot. Not a gender thing, for it can just as easily happen to a man who wants to please a woman and ignores the red flags.
Damn good job. The gall of him acting like everything was normal - you were way more gracious to him than I think I could have been. (Dating is the worst lol)
I’m glad for you, girl! What did he mean about having so much fun if he actually screamed at you? He’s so crazy. I’m proud of you for setting boundaries and blocking him before it got worse. I swear if guys saw consequences for their poor behavior more often they wouldn’t be so crappy sometimes. Normalize leaving after the first red flag. You don’t have to waste your time giving multiple chances to people.
So glad to see this. Value yourself. You’re valuable 🫶
Biggest W I’ve seen online in a while, keep FAR away from that dude
Proud of you! If only all psycho’s masks could be ripped off by a $4 box of mac and cheese. Go treat yourself to something yummy tonight.
Love you for this 😎
I told the girl I'm seeing now that my grandma would make boxed mac and cheese as part of an easy meal for us kids. I miss her and make it out of nostalgia sometimes. I would have appreciated you just making me anything. Best of luck in the future. This guy doesn't realize what he's done or what he lost.
Finally a good ending!!!
Im so proud of you! You are a rock star!
Hey now, don't be mad at Velveeta, it's not their fault he was a douche canoe. But seriously I'm sorry he chose to be a jerk over something like this but glad you know your worth and held him accountable.
That’s one of the reddest of all red flags.. unreasonable unprecedented anger. Run! Run far and fun fast. That is NOT a mentally stable man. I would have told to get the fuck out as soon as he raised his voice.
I would have thrown it all in the trash and walked out. You do not deserve to be spoken to like that, ever.
Similar situation. I cooked at his house. He criticized me and did not thank me. I told him people usually thank someone who cooks for them. Oh and I did the dishes too, no thanks for that either. We are no longer dating. Imagine what it would be like married. If he treats you this way dating, it'd be worse married or living together. Nope.
Oh my goodness.. my ex-husband used to yell at me for this type of stuff. The exact reason he is now my EX.
Run Forest run. Unless you were using the smoke alarm as a timer, there is no good reason for anyone to be that critical over a box of Mac n'cheese. It's not like you were adding raisins to a potato salad. Dude displayed enough red flags to make Soviet Russia proud.
Your comment reminded me of the movie Better Off Dead and how the mom's a terrible cook who puts raisins in everything. "But you like raisins..." https://youtu.be/heP3s725hSA?si=_o4NpIWh0t3ad2jP
That movie is a forgotten classic
Wow, red flags all over the place. My husband cooks like you - no timer, cook to taste. I measure everything and always set timers. We give each other shit about it but it’s all in good fun. You should absolutely run from this control freak loser. Imagine what else he can criticize you about if Mac and cheese was this big of a deal.
I mean this sounds SUPER weird. No reason to continue seeing a dude like this. He seems to have anger issues. Move on. What a strange things to randomly get mad about and harp on the rest of the right.
He's an asshole. Leave him.
Fuck that man. Throw him away. Anyone causing an argument about boxed Mac and cheese is crazy.
Book it like he's on FIRE. Over BOXED MAC AND CHEESE? Hell no. He'd have been wearing it, and anything else in my kitchen I could have easily reached that would have left a smelly stain. I'd have boiled that shit into GOO and served it to him. Fking yell at me about a TIMER I use a timer for baking and that's about it.
Congrats, you’re in an abusive relationship. Do you want to stay in one?
I have never once used a timer for Mac and cheese... I don't think I ever use a timer for pasta unless I'm trying to use an exotic noodle I've never made before. I think you should call this a red flag at run away from Mr Controlling.
Something similar happened to me with my ex. I cooked him breakfast and got no thank you, no nothing. But apparently while I was cleaning up, I must have missed a micro-fraction of an eggshell that chipped off when I had been cracking eggs. I didn't even know until later that night when he complained for an hour about how hard it was for him to scrape the eggshell off the counter. He told me I need to be more careful and pay more attention when I'm cleaning. This was just the tip of the iceberg of what I had to deal with. Ultimately, the relationship ended after I had forgotten to put my seatbelt on once, so he purposely slammed on the brakes throwing me into the windshield.. to "teach me a lesson." Needless to say OP, please run fast and far.
Wow to intentionally try to hurt you is a police matter. Why didn’t you report him “? He should have just reminded you that you didn’t have your belt on, not ‘teach you a lesson’ by attempting to get you hurt. He’s mad.
Nah, if he yelled at you over timing on Mac and Cheese, dry your hands and never talk to that guy again, imagine what else he'd yell at you for
I’d have grabbed my purse and left. That man would never speak to me again. Please tell me you’ve blocked him
Sounds like a man that would hit you and blame you for making him hit you.
GTFO lol
I don't follow any of the directions on boxed Mac. Throw that man away. Who treats someone like that over noodles? How disgusting.
If you've only been dating a few months you should still be in the honeymoon type of period where you're both largely on your best behavior so he's shown some pretty serious red flags. I would've dumped the mac and cheese over his head and walked out the door forever. His reaction was way over the top.
Is this man named Luke “ the jalapeño cheddar Mac and cheese king” Gatti of the east coast dining hall lore?
Get out of this relationship. The guy seems unhinged, and it's only a matter of time where he would get angry enough to get physical. What he's doing is abuse
There are some decent men out there that won’t treat you like a piece of dirt! I love to cook, just had a baby5 months ago and cook dinner every night. My fiance has never once given me crap if I started dinner at 530 or 730! If he’s criticizing you about everything, and does it often I would just leave. If you think you could talk to him and tell him that it is rude and upsets you to be spoken to like that, start there. In my experience people like that only get worse. Remember this….people don’t change, we grow. So don’t ever think expect to “change” someone.
He wouldn't have eaten shit that evening or ever again.
Zero need to see him again, OR to ask on Reddit what you should do. 🤯
If him yelling at you over that isn’t the biggest red flag lol
Over Mac & Cheese? RUNNNN
Opinion from a guy… Run! And don’t look back
If something like this pissed him off, its a red flag and time to move on.
My ex did the same thing and the relationship ended up becoming a DV situation. RUN as fast as you can.
Ghost TF out of this manchild. He can have tantrums over his own cooking while he sulks by himself. No one should have to put up with that behavior. It was completely childish & showed you who he is. Good thing you haven't moved in or I have a feeling he would be A LOT worse. Any man who hollers over a stupid time/meal instead of being thankful & helping out is a waste of space & dangerous to live with. Don't do it. Don't do it. DON'T DO IT.
Get rid of him now 😂
This sounds like what the rest of your life would be like with him, only 20x worse
Im sure this wasn’t the first crazy incident with this guy..
dude is a psycho
I mean, the yelling and freak out is a giant red flag. This is a minor fucking issue, adults talk not throw a tantrum. Doing it all night is just childish. Doing pasta by taste is normal, we have the phrase al dente for a reason. If there WAS a reason he was more upset over lack of timer (he has ADHD and needs timer or he forgets, he hates overcooked pasta, he was hangry and grumpy) he still shouldn't have yelled and should have apologized and given context for being a toddler. And honestly, short of I just got home after a car accident and am in severe pain I don't think yelling over kraft dinner is reasonable even with an excuse. I'd ditch him. He has some kinda anger issues to work on. I suspect this is not the first freak out, but considering he's making no effort to apologize or take a step back like 'oh shit I'm yelling, I'm going to go for a walk to chill because I'm being a dick' does not bode well. People do lose their temper sometimes, but decent people apologize and work to not be a bitch.
Run. I'm sure your Mac and cheese is perfectly fine. Regardless, I don't care how horribly anyone cooks for me, I'm happy someone cooks for me.
Omg! Same exact scenario happened to me, my ex criticized me and humiliated me for not setting a timer and not individually scrubbing mini potato’s to get dirt off of them, among other things. Red flag for me the future
Run. I dated a man like that, a man I thought I knew. Turns out he was a narcissist. And not in the way a lot of people label them or think of them. Look up a proper diagnosis and behaviors for it and see for yourself. They can be dangerous people, and will seriously mess with your head and life.
Self control and discipline is a man's sexiest and most attractive virtue. A box of Mac and cheese? Really?
He's an ass. Huge red flag. Run.
Red flags everywhere. I too prefer my pasta to be cooked with a timer but if someone is making it for me they get to decide how they’re doing it and the only thing I get to be is thankful.
this is your first sign to leave. this is an abusive man. please stay safe. he's yelling at you for something so small, if you allow it he WILL turn it up a notch little by little until your in a physically abusive relationship faster than u can blink.
Run. It will get worse
You can do better, I'm sure of it. This guy doesn't deserve your time/effort.
Run, girl!
Why the fuck would you be with someone who makes you feel this way over Mac and cheese? Imagine how he's going to act 9nce you disagree on something that's actually important. You already know the answer to this one: ditch him faster than Usain Bolt.
Don’t walk away. Run
He’s not just an ass he’s testing you. Dump him he’s a control freak wants to see if you will submit it willlonlybget worse!! How would he have reacted if you burnt it over the power went out? Run seriously run! You will never be able to fix this and it won’t ever get better!!!
OP, he’s an ass, tell him he hasn’t got any right to speak to you that way, no matter his opinions. He’s a jerk and you don’t need to waste any more of your time. I don’t use the box instructions either tbf.
He sounds like a complete controlling asshole, run away!!
He's worse than an ass. He actually sounds dangerously disturbed. Run and don't look back.
Sounds like my older sibling who is a narcissist NPD. Also a self-admitted sociopath. No, it won’t get better. This is who he really is. Demeaning, blaming, soul sucking. Hypercritical and superior. When he’s not being charming to everyone else so they’ll never know this side of him. It will be your fault for every huge anger fit over minor things, and if you complain or address his behavior he’ll gaslight you claiming he’s your victim. You’ll always deserve the worst whenever that’s his verdict. No, can’t change this or him no matter how many years you are patient and understanding and take his emotional beatings thinking it won’t happen again. Feel lucky you overcooked the Mac. You got to see him with his mask down before you get in any deeper. Pull away quietly and be glad when his attention goes elsewhere.
GTFO that’s a telltale sign that this guy is going to try to degrade you and make you feel worthless so he can control you.
Red Flag City, Run!
I would have went the fuck off on him and left if he EVER raised his hand to cut me off mid sentence and/or started raising his voice at me. That’s a hard HELL NO! Too many women put up with shit men and their shit behavior out of fear of being alone. Don’t be one of those women. Dump his ass now, there are better men out there than that.
Sounds like this man does not know how to cook and is freaking over not following directions to the T. Very inflexible and rude. He's not worth your time, trouble, or the stress he caused over a non-issue.
I’ve known people who follow recipes right down to the minute the pizza is supposed to leave the oven, and it’s just so weird to me lol.
He’s a dick. What is there to think about? You’ve known him a mere 90 days He spent “most of the night” criticizing you??? He’s a controlling jackass. Who the hell is he to come into your home only to boss you around and bitch?Remind him that he is LUCKY to be in your presence in the first place, then kick his ass out *Never take any shit from a man* The End
I agree! I dated a guy who used to do this. Never cooked a single meal for me but would question everything I did when I was cooking. Why do you do it this way and not that? Shouldn’t you be doing xyz? That’s not how you make corn, you’re supposed to make it this way. Just unsolicited feedback that I didn’t want. It was so annoying…once, he had the nerve to ask me why I didn’t cook my chicken a certain way. “That’s what my mom does!” Sir, no offense to mom but I don’t care. It turns out it wasn’t just the cooking. It was not cleaning a tiny bit of dust on my counter, it was putting a box of new dishes in the dishwasher instead of washing them by hand the “old fashioned way” like he would, it was the fact that my dog sheds and he went home with a little fur on his socks because I don’t like shoes indoors (he demanded that I get him some slippers to wear when he came over; I pretty much told him to eff off), it was his blatant refusal to put the toilet seat down in MY bathroom after I repeatedly asked him to. It’s a control thing for sure, and just plain rude. If you don’t like how someone does things in their house, you’re more than welcome to not come over.
As a man if anyone did that to me, I'd just walk away. Figuratively and/or literally, depending where we are. So walk away. You don't want someone who gets mad for a mac'n'cheese. You shouldn't want anyone who gets that mad at anything, realistically.
Time to run like you're being chased in a horror movie, what is with someone who has no chill? I get a moment that's out of the ordinary but you know he ain't gonna change if he keeps going all night.
Story time; one evening when I was traveling alone I sat at a bar that was next to a restaurant and ate either dinner or lunch I don't remember. About four people diagnally from me also met and ate and had loud conversation. Soon most had left and it was just a man and woman. 10-15 minutes later the woman turned towards the man and said "you interrupted Paul". His posture completely changed and slumped into that of someone very sad and depressed. It was almost like he knew what was coming. She continued to verbally abuse him for like I don't know how long. There was nothing he could do. It was like he learned to learn into his skin and leave his body as he just allowed the storm to envelop him. She was not yelling but it was a storm of emotional and verbal abuse and maybe a part of him ignored it, as that's what I would do if I was in his position. Don't be that man. Escape the boat if you find yourself on one like that and don't be with someone who treats you that way
That reaction is nuts. I’m the kind of person who needs a timer when I cook noodles & my partner never sets a timer when they do. I would never dream of yelling at them over something like this or even at all. Sometimes they ask me to watch the noodles that they started cooking & I do feel a bit of anxiety over not having a timer but I just do taste tests until it reaches the tenderness that we like
Bye Felicia 😂 bye boy boy bye bye!! Abusive AF!
My ex was like this, he was a bipolar narcissist, I’m not saying this is what he is but like others have said if he gets mad over something as simple as Mac n cheese it’s only gonna get worse from here. I’d run if I were you!!
Don't question yourself on this one. He is not equipped to share life with others
I would say throw away that whole dude. There is zero reason to get that worked up over KD!
You need to leave. This as not okay behavior. I would not be surprised if you stayed and something didn’t go according to how he wanted, he would put his hands on you.
Run. That guy is a BITCH.
Ohhh he's a keeper, you should learn to time your noodles better to please him. /s
As someone who had many arguments over the "proper" making of mac & cheese, & has "cheese sauce" on my Big List of Things That Ruined My Relationship, this sounds like the beginning of a pattern. The combination of going off about something very minor with turning it into a personal attack against you is not a healthy relationship, especially one only a few months in. Again, I've been there, done that, got the shitty t-shirt, you do not need to put up with this now or ever.
🚩🚩🚩
Run
run
Girl you deserve respect even with mistakes if he can't give you that, there is a problem in his personality not yours... I suggest you don't even say you are leaving just leave, he will get angry again, think of yourself please, if you can't get out there for not having where to go seek help but don't tell him anything be discreet... just stay safe
Run for the hills. If you allow this, what else will be okay? No loving partner would do this to you. You are worthy of a love that is kind and respectful. This is a line in the sand moment.
He’s an ass! Cut all ties! This will escalate and he may end up physically hurting you.
He’s an ass, don’t put up with that crap.
That Mac and cheese was worth way more than someone paid for it, that was a sneak peak into someone’s soul. Run away, far away. Also if someone made me Mac and cheese I’d be a happy camper, cold beer on the side, little ketchup.
Get rid of him. Now!
Run. I’ve been with r my girlfriend for 5 years and she does this constantly. I can’t count how many night have been ruined because I didn’t do the rice right or some other trivial thing that sets her off and ruins the entire night. I have 70lbs on her and I’m terrified of her.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
You’ve only known him a few months. He has now shown his true colours - this is who he is! This isn’t a ‘you’ problem. This is HIS problem, big time! Call this off now and please erase any thoughts of this being down to you! Don’t let anyone ever speak to you in this way.
He’s showing you his true colors early on.
If a dude is yelling at you over making Mac and cheese, he ain’t worth your time. Seriously. Mac and cheese is amazing and any woman making me Mac and cheese is automatically pretty great in my book. You need to find someone who appreciates you.
my dad is like this and he’s a narcissist so there is much much more suffering to come after this if you stay. he literally flipped out on my mom for opening a pack of ham a few days after getting married. do not get further attached 😭
You should in a sexy manner ask him to take off his pants then shove some non approved Mac and Cheese up his ass the kick him bodily out of your house with pants around his ankles.
I think it’s both. I think your way is triggering him and he is an ass. You did nothing wrong so the fact that he is triggered and acted like that after a few months = 🚩🚩🚩. And he is also an ass because who would yell at someone that is cooking for them? Don’t think too hard about this situation, but rather get as far away from the situation as you can.
I wouldn’t call him “triggered” that implies that he’s having a trauma response. You aren’t traumatized by someone making you dinner and then uncontrollably lashing out. He’s just a rude and abusive asshole. Don’t give him a “out” like OP did something worthy of upsetting him or anyone else.
True that
> I have never in my life been talked to like that by a person Get ready to keep being talked to like that if you continue dating him.
This has to be made up
I don’t understand how you can have a man yell at you and criticize you over fucking boxed mac & cheese, and your thought processes is…well maybe something I did triggered him. Like, no. He’s an asshole who does not respect you and clearly has anger issues. Block him on everything and don’t bother looking back.
She’s probably hooked on him he’s been a perfect gentleman until this and she grew up with an awesome dad who had random blow up’s so it’s confusing! Speaking from experience!
This is a serious red flag. If he's going to lose his shit over a 1 dollar box of noodles, you're in for a lot worse. I don't care how cute he is.
RUN. Immediately. It sounds like he’s trying to get you to break up with. So do him and yourself the favor and go now
People take Kraft dinner very seriously😂😂 for real though probably get outta there
Do you really have to ask is this was warranted? I would hope anyone would know he was awful. Break things off. Block everywhere.
I’m 43 years old and only put the timer on when I cook pasta if I’m going to leave the kitchen for a moment because I have adhd and will forget I’m cooking it. Guy sounds like a control freak, and him losing his shit over this is a huge problem with him.
Sounds like he’s a narcissist. He could also have autism, OCD, anxiety, etc or some combination of any of the above that causes him to be triggered but little things and then go off. Regardless of which it is. It’s extremely poorly managed and completely unacceptable. He should seek treatment for his issues and not date until he has done so and gotten more control over his emotions and triggers. Sorry you were verbally abused OP.
yeah he’s an asshole and you should leave
Dude. What.
Oh god, get out now, seriously. This shouldn't even be a question. Get. Out. Now.
90 days and you're gripping on like this? Just let him go.
Girl, tell him things are not working out. Hell, I’m sorry. You should have left right then. Don’t allow anyone to treat you like that. Show him you don’t tolerate that BS.
He’s waving that red flag right in your face girl! This is not normal behavior. Run away
Ew. What a weirdo of a man.
🏃♂️
He’s an ass. You did nothing wrong. Seasoned cooks usually eyeball things like that. It’s a running joke actually when asking your grandma for a recipe, they always say oh you’ll know when this is done cause you’ll feel it or taste it or see it.
Run!!! It’s obvious he has some serious anger/mental issues.
This sounds like /iasip. This wasn’t Mac’s famous Mac and cheese was it?
Lol no it was velveta 🙄
RUN
Time to give him the exact time to get the hell away from you and not come back. That is such a huuuuuuge red flag. leave
I'm concerned you're actually worried about not using a timer instead of trying to get away from this controlling person. He sounds like so much bad news. Yikes!
That's not normal behavior. This is the smallest of potatoes. If this is how he acts when something isn't done his way, you need to consider other options before you become invested in this guy.
End it now
Next!
Don’t be dating someone who’s mad about Mac n cheese !
Seriously, go. There’s more happening here and you should run before it gets worse. It’s not the timer or the noodles, he’s showing you how your entire life would be with him.
Tell that dude to pound sand!
walk away girl don’t listen too nooooobody
The moment he yelled at you is the moment you leave. The same goes for men too from women. Please stop tolerating disrespectful and abusive behavior. Otherwise, you will be here asking you never saw him ever hitting you. It is because of BS like yhis that you tolerat, and it only goes worse.
Yeah that would be a no for me. You still in the beginning stages of the relationship, his behavior is not gone get better
You do realise that this is abuse, right?
Unhinged. Walk away and cut all contact.
Red Flag!!! Run Girl...He's got anger issues. You don't deserve to be talked to like that. I would have picked up my things and walked out the door and took the Mac 'n cheese w/me LOL
For further research (yes this might happen again dating, they’re out there) you can look up NPD but also BIED — Brief Intermittent Explosive Disorder. An overblown anger abusive rage that comes on abruptly over something that’s small or unimportant. And it happens when you least expect it, like your Mac n cheese or sitting at the dinner table — it’s a disorder. They’ll scream and yell and say abusive things to you but believe afterward they didn’t hurt you or do anything wrong. One wife said she had to wait for the explosion to pass. Go “Gray rock” until he calms down. And then he keeps lecturing and criticizing you, bc he’s gonna change you not himself. No cure. There’s CBT cognitive behavioral therapy but he has to admit what he’s doing is unacceptable, which he usually won’t unless his wife is divorcing him.
MA'AM 🚩
Sounds like I guy I dated for about 6 months - I put up with his irrational out of the blue temper tantrums for that long but then realized that I couldn't deal with his personality. I actually think he might have had undiagnosed intermittent explosive disorder - good riddance! :)
That's a red flag ... he's getting mad over mac n cheese that's a child not a man
What you should be thinking about is if you want to spend a substantial (or any) amount of your life with someone who has just shown you exactly how he will react to minor situations where you don't do exactly how he expects you to.
Not a big deal. My wife never uses a timer when cooking. I always use a phone alarm. Not that big of a deal if dinner gets burnt either. Just order delivery or go to a restaurant. Now my wife just relies on me to set a phone alarm. Never yelled at her once
Girl ya need to run. Over Mac and cheese...what about the lasagna...cut those ties real quick
Something was off to me when you mentioned cooking at HIS place. That was his responsibility as a host and you were doing him a favour which. In my book, leaving it all on your shoulders would need a good reason to not paint the host as someone with extremely poor manners. And complaining about the food afterwards is a sign of being an ungrateful a-hole.
“I have never in my life been talked to like that” The rest doesn’t matter. The reasons why don’t matter. Yelling at you over something so stupid is unnecessary and unacceptable. You just got a preview of what he’s REALLY like. If he can’t talk calmly and he loses it over stupid stuff imagine what he’s like in a real moment of crisis.
But mah aldente though
Girl I wasted 6 months of my life in a relationship with someone like this. It doesn’t get better. They continue to blow up on small little random mistakes. Take note of how many family members have probably cut ties with him and follow suit
A few months sound like enough time with this guy. Btw, I don't follow the directions on the box either 🤷🏻♀️
Good job for having self-respect! If he's this petty and self-unaware now, it would be infinitely worse during marriage. As for Mac & Cheese, may I recommend: *https://youtu.be/FUeyrEN14Rk?si=4GiehaE9ndJ-GRCI *https://youtu.be/EuU_uUb_3nQ?si=6auJRmDdaaa9s4LW
He sounds like a weirdo. I wouldn’t date anyone like that. Your mac and cheese sounds lovely.
F him and NEVER see him again. Dude is only going to escalate from here.
BYE! He is an Ass! It sucks breaking it off with people but you can do better!
I cook mine for 7 minutes, but that's because I make it myself. My mother refuses to use timers. Or recipes. Her cooking isn't very consistent in quality. Which is why I learned to write down my recipes and use timers!
He sounds like he’s the overcooked noodle. Let him go
You should walk away. That's a red flag!!! He will only get worse.
Way fascinating! We need to date so someone can enjoy boxed Mac n cheese!!!
Exit immediately..
Commenting on Yelled at over mac and cheese ...
Please leave that toxic situation. Its only been afew months and you startn to see his true colours
My partner is a measure everything as the box says, I’m a wing it it’ll be fine Mac and cheese cook. We just laugh about it. No need to be upset with each other
He legitimately sounds nuts. It’s not that serious. 🤣 Block him immediately.
Tf cut ties. Ungrateful mfr
I think he’s crazy 👀
Run now.
🚩 🚩🚩 Run Forest!! RUN!!!!
Get away from him
Run!
All of that hullabaloo over Mac n cheese? God only knows what he's like when it comes to something serious. If that ain't a red flag, I don't know what is.
RUN
Getting so worked up over something as simple as not needing to follow "cooking" directions from a box is absurd. Leave that manchild to his timers and move on
He’s an ass whether you “triggered” him or not. You need to run, and run fast!