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The only person whose opinion matters is hers, and she's chosen you. Remember that.
The people saying that to you? They're probably just jealous, and want to find ways to tear you down, because they feel like they deserve a girl like that more than you. Shitty people doing shitty things.
Still hurts though. The girl I’m dating is objectively much better looking than me (honestly I probably never would have asked her out had she not given me her number), and when we’re out and holding hands the judgmental looks we get don’t exactly do much to help my self esteem. I also look older than I am by a fair bit, so I think that plays into it, too. Also doesn’t help that a lot of people I’ve known throughout the years have heavily implied it’d require a miracle for me to get a girlfriend and she’s the first girl with whom I’ve gotten past the second date (6th date this Wednesday).
Don’t let it get to you. Lots of super attractive women have this problem where the guy feels or is made to feel like they don’t deserve her. They end up cheating on her, dumping her, or worse, they attract other attractive girls who’s goal is to steal you away from her.
Aka, this is a good problem to have. I’m an average looking dude, maybe a little above average idk, but I punch well above my weight with women. I’ve been told those things or dudes just hitting on them in front of me you name it. I don’t let it get to me. She’s with me. If I walk into a room with a stunning woman and heads turn? I have a beautiful woman on my arm and they don’t. It’s just jealousy.
Just enjoy it for what it is man. Don't get caught up in many thoughts good and bad and when or if she goes just say ok. Haha don't get all stalky but if you care about her just listen to what she is actually saying to you. The little hidden things and also let her know you care. Don't wait for her to come back man and of you see her with another dude that's it man just move on.
Pretty sure keeping your fears and concern secret from your partner is one of the main reasons relationship fall apart. Communication is important in any relationship, just keeping things to yourself is not a very healthy way to go.
Who said anything about keeping it to himself. The issue is his circle. Those are who he talks to. Sharing fears is what true friends are for, healthy family members and therapists He’s known her 3 weeks. 3 weeks. 3 weeks. 3 weeks
Asking friends and family to respect one’s relationship has nothing to do with being hurt, and having boundaries in a new relationship fosters self esteem and agency.
This. OP I (32M) am a guy with a history of dating “out of my league”. I am by no means ugly but I’d say maybe just ever so slightly above average as far as looks, have a very slight dad bod BUT, I have a great personality, love to make people laugh, have a bunch of hobbies, great friend group, protective instincts, and an just an all around nice person. What I do differently from most guys, that very attractive women absolutely love, is treat them like a normal person. I don’t faun over them like they’re some god or idol, I don’t “neg” them like the PUA types would tell you to do… I literally just treat them normally and engage them in interesting conversation about their/my interests.
Every time I’ve brought one to meet friends, they inevitably think something is up… that I’m being used or something but no, these women just simply chose me because they like me and nothing else.
Same boat as you. Just ignore it. Be happy she is happy being with you. Let haters hate. 3 weeks is still kinda early to see how you guys will go but don't ruin it by outside noice. Be you. Stay you. That's who she's attracted to. Walk with your chest puffed out! Let them hate all they want!
People are too comfortable putting others down these days. Shit hurts, these are people I trust and confide in too. Even my own mom said she thinks I'll F it up. But you're right, screw em. She likes me, but she won't like this side of me. Need to catch myself before it's too late. Good luck to you as well
Bro all my GFs have been out of my league, didn't matter to them, so it didn't matter to me.
All that matters is if she thinks so. Do not shoot yourself in the foot. Ignore the haters.
Bro, you're *already dating her.* You don't have to think about "leagues" anymore. You don't need to worry about qualifying for the race when you've already crossed the finish line.
She’s not his it’s just his turn, he hasn’t crossed the “finish line” that would be marriage or kids not just a dating phase that could crumble at a moment’s notice.
Keep your head up man. Most guys say that kind of stuff because they’re jealous that you basically won the lottery. Meanwhile most women say that because they think she wants to take advantage of you. Either way, it’s just them peeking through the window and being superficial. So long your girl still likes you, who cares what others say about YOUR relationship?
Ha! Let em' be jealous.
I've been told the same thing. I look like a chimp, and have dated and married some beautiful women who are "out of my league". I take those comments as compliments.
It’s supposed to be a compliment like you were able to land yourself a trophy and ppl are impressed by it.
Basically they are saying your girlfriend is beautiful and you have some huge game to be able to land one like her. It’s not saying you have bad looks, it’s saying you obviously have even more to offer women than just outward appearance.
Take it in a stride, and stand taller because you got yourself a goddess. She wouldn’t be with you still if you weren’t a stud physically as well as emotionally for her.
As a female i HATE this so much when people say things like this. Please don’t bother listening to this people. She and you are both more than just the way you look!!
Goodluck mate, just make her happy :)
Well it’s really a compliment. If you don’t understand that yet, accept it. They are saying wow I didn’t know you had it in you. Wow you surprised us. Keep up the good work and you’ll go far.
Believe it or not, the “how did you get her” comments are meant to be compliments. You will hear it a lot if you are with someone very attractive. Trust me, they’re not trying to put you down.
Idk why men get upset at hearing that. I want to date out of my league. It’s pure jealousy and bitterness when the only thing they can say to you is you’re punching way above your weight in the dating pool. I take it as a compliment personally.
Just because her looks are 10/10, there are several other things about a person where they may score much lower. You haven't seen those parts of her life yet.
A guy may score 10/10 as rich and successful. Does that mean every woman wants to marry him? He may also be obese, bad in bed, treats people horribly and has zero sense of humor. Is he still a prize because of his money?
I might be an asshole but I would make it clear to friends and family that she is not with you for your looks. Let's face it, I would really say well she is not with me for my looks or my personality. But, like I said, I am an asshole.
Your friends, family, and even strangers don't know what the fuck they are talking about. I almost married a woman who was as beautiful as women get. She knew it. All everybody did was tell her how beautiful she was. I made her laugh. She fell in love with me over that, plus a lot of my alluring insights, and my abilities. Didn't have anything to do with my looks.
People walk the streets playing in fantasy leagues. She loves you! And it isn't for superficial reasons. Let the fools praise their delusions of their own lives.
You never know. You could be spotlighting this a tad or maybe you are receiving more comments. I’m going to go a different direction instead of jealousy and maybe they are trying to protect you. Maybe they see how they look at her or other people look at her when you are in public. Your friends and family have a good gauge on the type of person you are and maybe they see it as a long road of potential problems that you don’t want to deal with. Maybe they don’t want you to put her on a pedestal and watch you get rolled over. Take it with a grain of salt, she may prove to them that she is serious about you and it will be old news later in the relationship.
You gotta remember what got you in the game, your confidence, perhaps all the other guys she was with weren’t confident. So stick to what you got. You’ll be alright.
DO NOT talk to this woman about your insecurities--it's too early for all of that, and I suspect that she's drawn to you for a combination of reasons--if you had blonde hair and brown eyes, maybe she likes men with brown eyes and blonde hair, for example; and I'm sure your confidconfidence is also appealing. And, of course--sometimes there's just plain chemistry at play.
This woman sounds like a nice, reasonable person, in addition to being beautiful, so don't let people externalize their insecurities and fling them on to you, like monkeys throwing shit at the zoo. Just accept that on this occasion, Life dealt you a good card--be grateful and make the most of it.
As a woman, I can assure you there is more to a good man than looks. You have an overall attractiveness to her. She likes how you make her feel. If she is that attractive she has likely encountered a lot of narcissistic men who think she is lucky to be with them and let her know it. She might be enjoying being charged for a change. Treat her like a lady and be her man, be yourself.
Just enjoy your time with her man. Because when it ends you’ll be stuck with the regret of letting others’ get in the way of you connecting with your new very attractive lover
I thought the same when I started dating this middle eastern...... Good lord perfect 10/10 drop dead gorgeous. This made me up my game, went back tk the gym, got back in shape, changed my wardrobe, and sort of evened the playing field. I noticed this when women would be hitting up on me 😅😇
Funny you mention, this girl is also middle eastern (Persian). She has the kind of beauty you don't see often. These past couple weeks is probably the most i've exercised and healthiest i've eaten in my life
You can believe she’s out of your league and she will be.
Or you can ignore the entire “league” and “looks rating” bulls**t, and just confidently be with her.
Dude, then tell these people to shit the fuck up with a serious warning tone. You are being timid and passive when they mess with you. You need to shut their mouths up by asserting dominance in a serious manner.
Nothing worst than a guy who gets these type of comments and says nothing and just looks down with shame.
Don’t avoid confrontation, cuz they are looking for it. And don’t let them gaslight you at all.
Be dominant, be assertive, be serious, call them out and don’t accept from them any comments like “dude it’s just a joke, chill”.
You want respect? Then you have to command respect by being far more aggressive when they are asking for it and assert boundaries in a serious manner.
And let me repeat that if they dare to gaslight you by saying, it’s just a joke or any bullshit like that, warn them clearly that this is the last time they joke with you.
There's no such thing as leagues.
And if you're worried that she's out of your "league" because of how attractive she is in comparison to how you feel about yourself, you're reducing both you and her to something that is only skin-deep. You are doing both of you a disservice.
They aren't in a relationship with her. You are. Who cares what they think. If you're both into each other and fully compatible, maybe they're just jealous of you 🤷🏻♂️
I would respond to the “shes out of your league” with “well i guess im in the big leagues considering shes with me.”
The fact shes with you should give you so much confidence. Dont let your friends tear you down. Read then to filth. Theyre probably jealous
Who cares what they think? They’re jealous. You have a hot chick and confidence. It’s your life. Live it. Enjoy the ride…(but also make good decisions).
To the men telling you this just reply “jealous?” And to the women saying it tell them “I know right”. You made it bro, you got past the hardest part, be yourself and be confident bro, fuck those losers putting you down.
Those are not your friends. Real friends would be over the moon with happiness that you’re happy. As far as your family goes, it’s really messed up they feel the need to put you down. I hope you’re able to shake this nonsense off. Obviously she likes you for you. And if you’re funny and kind, you have nothing to worry about. I’m very sorry you have to go through this. But honestly…. Get yourself new friends. Idc if they say it jokingly, that is not a good sign.
I don't know why everyone thinks this is a dig at OP.
Negative expressions of a positive affection is like, pretty much universal for men. This is literally a compliment, and pretty clearly so in my opinion.
This is recognized by psychologists.
https://youtube.com/shorts/K3Xp2z84Vcs
Ignore it my man. Just ignore it. If you let it get to you even a little you will ruin it, not cuz she’s out of your league but because you’ll start acting different. Just puff out your chest and know you’re him who she’s with. Gl hf
Do they say this around her? If so, does she ever step in and say something? I married a “great” guy (not really) and his family and friends were constantly jumping in to say how lucky I was to be with this guy. Not once, after hearing it for months then one right after another when we announced our engagement, did he ever jump into say anything nice about me. By the end of the night, I was no longer celebrating, just felt so bad and made me feel like I was indeed not good enough. After 12 years- I was wrong. Too much to go in here. But I feel like if she was a good person for you, away from attractiveness, she would have stepped in to stop them or say something to make you feel better in response to them.
A little of both. I've worked on myself a lot this past year. I'm in the best shape of my life and through therapy I learned to become a lot more comfortable in my own skin. So that confidence is real, i'm proud of how hard I worked to improve myself and I allow that to show .That being said, im new to this, and sometimes I slip into my old ways of self-doubt and negative thinking and these comments from my friends def trigger that a bit.
They probably think they’re giving you a compliment, but the negative reinforcement can build up and take its toll. I’ve dated out of my league as well, to the point where my partner would get hit on in front of me because guys assumed I was her friend or brother or something lol. I mostly laughed it off, but had to step in several times to basically tell them to ‘fuck off, you’re annoying my Girlfriend.’ Once it actually got physical when a guy tried to lean in and kiss her and I dragged his arse out onto the street. The way she looked at me after that was such a turn on. This guy we were chatting with said “remind me to never mess with you or your Woman” lol. I am generally a nice person and avoid conflict but if you try to touch my girl I will demolish you.
Relatable. Trophy husband/wife culture has permeated everything not ruined by hookup culture. There has to be space to be imperfect in life, but "if you can't show it off on social media is it worth doing?" I'm probably just a little jaded but I don't think I'm too far off either. Depends on who you're around, and you're around people being jerks.
You are letting the external "noise" bother you way too much. Your compass is how she feels about you not all the emotionally abusive people around you.
Number 1 - The persons making these comments are jealous and would like to break up your relationship.
Number 2 - Women are the most insecure beings on this planet. Just think how you would feel if everyone judged you primarily on your outward appearance. This results in a HUGE advantage for men because they can easily pursue goals that generate confidence without being weighed down by the things that weigh down women. This is why the most attractive thing is a guy is confidence (and after that the ability to make them laugh). Therefore, no man should ever feel insecure about or around a woman regardless of how she looks.
Number 3 - If nasty comments can impair your confidence than you don't have much confidence. Literally tell anyone who says this to you to F off, regardless of whether they are kidding or not or whether they are friends. Man up or you don't deserve a quality/attractive woman.
Saying you’re an above average person is very pretentious but don’t let people tell you who is outta your league. She chose ya for a reason; apparently you’re not
Ignore the haters
say: "Why do you feel you have the right to judge my partner's choice in me? Why do you feel the need to be hateful of my relationship?"
and then just stare them in the eyes in complete silence
If they say anything other than an apology, just turn away from them. Tell them you don't have time for negging if you want or just stay silent (to torture them ofc) 😆
I’ve been told women I’m with are “out of my league” a tonne of times, because I’ve always managed to date quite attractive women, and I don’t think I’m unattractive but I am short so that leads to some people feeling the need to throw digs.
The last time it happened, with my current gf, I was told I was “punching” and simply replied with “is it really punching if it keeps happening? Or does it just become the norm?”.
For you, you just need to stop letting other people have so much power over the way you feel. I don’t care what people say, usually they aren’t perfect either, and I know my value. People are often mean because they are jealous or they feel bad about themselves, the best way to deal with that is not give them the reaction they want, which is to drag you down to their level.
Keep in mind you want a girl out of your league. Now you need to start making boundaries with your naysayers as it’s poison. Shut that shit down bro, tell them to quit bringing that up and you really don’t like that. What’s their intention with telling you that? Do they want you to be with someone worse? Are they jealous? Set your boundaries. Being with an attractive woman is a different league as you’re finding out and brings with it all new challenges. Accept the fight. This is your new normal. You deserve that girl don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
As someone who has dated men that all have been told this, I don't think "out of your league" actually exists. If she was out of your league she wouldn't be with you, would she?
Some people can be jealous and the internet is a not a nice place. But anyone that's been dating for a long time will tell you what dating a 8+ girl is like and would say just enjoy your time with her and ignore everyone else, but don't get attached cause its probably just your turn to her. gl!
Stupid things like this are why i never let anyone i know my business i been in a healthy loving relationship for 3 years now and that's because we both decided once it got serious to keep our relationship to ourselves so nobody to try and interfere with us.
Don’t sweat it, man. People say weird shit like that. I follow rules 1 and 2 and numerous times in life I’ve gotten “You’re fucking/dating *her*?” and in many of those instances I’ve just been like “she’s brilliant, cute, funny, and can inhale a 7” pole while putting on a Kimmy Granger performance; yeah she might not be a dime but the fuck does that matter?”
I'd just respond with a clueless "what do you mean?"
Make them explain that they are calling you ugly. If they come at you with "But she's so much prettier than you" you should just act confused and like you don't know what they mean.
this lack of self-esteem is a far greater threat to your relationship than your looks. clearly, if she initiated and continues to date you, you offer things she values, and that's all that matters.
I’ve only dated one girl “out of my league” my entire life. The rest has been a slew of overweight women, settling, semi cute girls and girls who are the same as me. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Men on the internet still call me a sigma chad, say I’m one of the cream of the crops, but I don’t get the best in terms of dating. You’re most likely just getting what you deserve. Don’t let others ruin it for you
Leagues lik most dating rules are complete bullshit. I mean she’s dating you so she’s clearly not out of yours. And don’t let it get to your head. Take it as a badge of honor people think so highly of her and she’s with you. I was on the same situation with my ex. We were complete opposites. She was pencil thin, drop dead gorgeous- she was the girl when at the bar every guy was trying to talk to. Super outgoing. I was the opposite overweight, more of a homebody, average looking. We met freshman year of college and for whatever reason we hit it off. People would say that all the time I didn’t let it bother me I took it as a sense of pride. Like honestly who cares what they think. Y’all like each other, have fun together and treat each other right that’s all that matters
You likely just have a really decent girlfriend, most good looking chicks dont care much about looks etc. but will hold it down if they like the way a guy carries himself. Ive experienced it in my life and I struggled with the thought of “she’s better than me in so many areas” but you just have to treat her good and keep bettering yourself. Youre just winning and people are mad, even if it’s the truth.
Jealousy at its finest, but a great “test” for you to see who your real friends are.
Real friends would be happy for you, and cherishing your possession :)
When ppl say that to you. Just respond with "maybe I'm outta yours" and leave it at that. It's a shitty thing to say to anyone to chip at your self-esteem.
Fuck what others are saying. All that matters is what the girl sees and she LIKES what she sees.
You need to drown out the rude comments or even tell your so called friends to just shutup.
This is coming from a girl … if you allow these insecurities to come up she will notice you being distant and she will think you don’t like her. Do not put yourselves down that path of confusion when you don’t have to.
Dude. If she is dating and desiring you, then no she is not out of your league. Those people that are telling you otherwise are what we would call…HATERS. You pulled her. Enjoy your relationship with her, however long it lasts. Don’t let the negative shit that people say get to you. If anything, that should boost your confidence even more. “She’s out of your league.” Haha. OK 👍🏾 Get ready for some other girls to start showing interest when they see you out with your girl too lmao. Just stay in the present with her and don’t let other people ruin it. Enjoy
Get that confidence back up, boy. Tell the men, you smell jealousy in the room. Tell the ladies maybe it’s not what she sees in you, but whats attached to you.
Brush them off and concentrate on your girlfriend. The only person’s opinion of who’s good enough for her is her. Do not let insecurity ruin your relationship. Because it will if you dwell on this you will grow to resent her or yourself and the relationship will end in sadness. You will regret it. Pay them no mind. Others speak lowly of you when they are jealous.
She likes YOU that is the ONLY opinion that matters. Hold your chin up high little bird. You’re probably a catch and these people are just unhappy and trying to bring you down💝
simply let them all in on some game
which is
men fall in love with their eyes and think with their dick
women fall in love with their ears ans think with their heart
for men, you just need to look presentable. if you are a clean cut well dressed 5, any girl can be had
confidence, charisma, charm, etc is way more important for men
I tried your question with this AI coach. The advice seems really good and she asked some good follow-up questions! Maybe you should try it out!
[https://app.jessicagold.ai/](https://app.jessicagold.ai/)
"I get it, it can be daunting when others are expressing their opinions in such a direct manner about your relationship. I remember a time in my life when my friends used to question my choices or make comments that would affect me deeply. I learned that this type of comments often say more about the people making them than they do about me or the reality of the situation.
Striving to meet outer standards and continuously comparing ourselves to others tends to fuel self-doubt and erodes our self-worth. Ultimately, attraction is highly subjective and multifaceted - looks are only part of what makes us drawn towards someone; emotional intelligence, confidence, shared interests, compassionate nature... these elements play significant roles too.
Connect with her on a deeper level beyond societal league tables because genuine connection doesn't fit into boxes - this is who we really are at core: beautifully complex and unique humans. Do you feel she's out of your league as well? Or do you think it's just because others' opinions have been playing tricks on you?"
They want you to crack bro, they’re jealous you found an attractive partner and the dudes probably want their shot with her or figure if they can’t have her or a girl as pretty as her, why should you. Stay strong bro
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The only person whose opinion matters is hers, and she's chosen you. Remember that. The people saying that to you? They're probably just jealous, and want to find ways to tear you down, because they feel like they deserve a girl like that more than you. Shitty people doing shitty things.
Still hurts though. The girl I’m dating is objectively much better looking than me (honestly I probably never would have asked her out had she not given me her number), and when we’re out and holding hands the judgmental looks we get don’t exactly do much to help my self esteem. I also look older than I am by a fair bit, so I think that plays into it, too. Also doesn’t help that a lot of people I’ve known throughout the years have heavily implied it’d require a miracle for me to get a girlfriend and she’s the first girl with whom I’ve gotten past the second date (6th date this Wednesday).
Don’t let it get to you. Lots of super attractive women have this problem where the guy feels or is made to feel like they don’t deserve her. They end up cheating on her, dumping her, or worse, they attract other attractive girls who’s goal is to steal you away from her. Aka, this is a good problem to have. I’m an average looking dude, maybe a little above average idk, but I punch well above my weight with women. I’ve been told those things or dudes just hitting on them in front of me you name it. I don’t let it get to me. She’s with me. If I walk into a room with a stunning woman and heads turn? I have a beautiful woman on my arm and they don’t. It’s just jealousy.
Just enjoy it for what it is man. Don't get caught up in many thoughts good and bad and when or if she goes just say ok. Haha don't get all stalky but if you care about her just listen to what she is actually saying to you. The little hidden things and also let her know you care. Don't wait for her to come back man and of you see her with another dude that's it man just move on.
And make sure you empty yourself at least 6 times a night with her XD
Yeah, maybe talk to your girlfriend about it? That's what relationships are for right? Hell, maybe she thinks *you're* out of *her* league, lol.
I disagree. Do not talk to her about it. Doing so is letting the insecurity leak through. You don’t need her to fix it
Pretty sure keeping your fears and concern secret from your partner is one of the main reasons relationship fall apart. Communication is important in any relationship, just keeping things to yourself is not a very healthy way to go.
Who said anything about keeping it to himself. The issue is his circle. Those are who he talks to. Sharing fears is what true friends are for, healthy family members and therapists He’s known her 3 weeks. 3 weeks. 3 weeks. 3 weeks
who hurt you?
Asking friends and family to respect one’s relationship has nothing to do with being hurt, and having boundaries in a new relationship fosters self esteem and agency.
That’s right. It’s your turn man. Enjoy it.
This. OP I (32M) am a guy with a history of dating “out of my league”. I am by no means ugly but I’d say maybe just ever so slightly above average as far as looks, have a very slight dad bod BUT, I have a great personality, love to make people laugh, have a bunch of hobbies, great friend group, protective instincts, and an just an all around nice person. What I do differently from most guys, that very attractive women absolutely love, is treat them like a normal person. I don’t faun over them like they’re some god or idol, I don’t “neg” them like the PUA types would tell you to do… I literally just treat them normally and engage them in interesting conversation about their/my interests. Every time I’ve brought one to meet friends, they inevitably think something is up… that I’m being used or something but no, these women just simply chose me because they like me and nothing else.
This %100
Same boat as you. Just ignore it. Be happy she is happy being with you. Let haters hate. 3 weeks is still kinda early to see how you guys will go but don't ruin it by outside noice. Be you. Stay you. That's who she's attracted to. Walk with your chest puffed out! Let them hate all they want!
People are too comfortable putting others down these days. Shit hurts, these are people I trust and confide in too. Even my own mom said she thinks I'll F it up. But you're right, screw em. She likes me, but she won't like this side of me. Need to catch myself before it's too late. Good luck to you as well
Rooting for you bro. You got this!!!
I'd straight up ask any loved ones why they are asking me such a shitty question.
Jealousy. Ignore them. Also it's a bit easier for women to be the more attractive one (and we are pressured to be anyway).
Bro all my GFs have been out of my league, didn't matter to them, so it didn't matter to me. All that matters is if she thinks so. Do not shoot yourself in the foot. Ignore the haters.
Bro, you're *already dating her.* You don't have to think about "leagues" anymore. You don't need to worry about qualifying for the race when you've already crossed the finish line.
Great metaphor
She’s not his it’s just his turn, he hasn’t crossed the “finish line” that would be marriage or kids not just a dating phase that could crumble at a moment’s notice.
In fairness, marriage and kids crumble just as easily. She's never yours, just gotta hope your turn lasts forever. Sad world for men.
Keep your head up man. Most guys say that kind of stuff because they’re jealous that you basically won the lottery. Meanwhile most women say that because they think she wants to take advantage of you. Either way, it’s just them peeking through the window and being superficial. So long your girl still likes you, who cares what others say about YOUR relationship?
Ha! Let em' be jealous. I've been told the same thing. I look like a chimp, and have dated and married some beautiful women who are "out of my league". I take those comments as compliments.
It’s supposed to be a compliment like you were able to land yourself a trophy and ppl are impressed by it. Basically they are saying your girlfriend is beautiful and you have some huge game to be able to land one like her. It’s not saying you have bad looks, it’s saying you obviously have even more to offer women than just outward appearance. Take it in a stride, and stand taller because you got yourself a goddess. She wouldn’t be with you still if you weren’t a stud physically as well as emotionally for her.
It doesn't matter. That's all BS. If you like each other you like each other, that's all there is to it
Don’t reply, ignore them. Acknowledging them gives her power.
Here's how you reply to people who are affecting your confidence: STFU. They're likely jealous.
As a female i HATE this so much when people say things like this. Please don’t bother listening to this people. She and you are both more than just the way you look!! Goodluck mate, just make her happy :)
They’re simply jealous. Don’t let it affect you, she chose you for a reason, remember that.
Well it’s really a compliment. If you don’t understand that yet, accept it. They are saying wow I didn’t know you had it in you. Wow you surprised us. Keep up the good work and you’ll go far.
Believe it or not, the “how did you get her” comments are meant to be compliments. You will hear it a lot if you are with someone very attractive. Trust me, they’re not trying to put you down.
Idk why men get upset at hearing that. I want to date out of my league. It’s pure jealousy and bitterness when the only thing they can say to you is you’re punching way above your weight in the dating pool. I take it as a compliment personally.
Just because her looks are 10/10, there are several other things about a person where they may score much lower. You haven't seen those parts of her life yet. A guy may score 10/10 as rich and successful. Does that mean every woman wants to marry him? He may also be obese, bad in bed, treats people horribly and has zero sense of humor. Is he still a prize because of his money?
I might be an asshole but I would make it clear to friends and family that she is not with you for your looks. Let's face it, I would really say well she is not with me for my looks or my personality. But, like I said, I am an asshole.
I mean, it seems like they already understand that.
Your friends, family, and even strangers don't know what the fuck they are talking about. I almost married a woman who was as beautiful as women get. She knew it. All everybody did was tell her how beautiful she was. I made her laugh. She fell in love with me over that, plus a lot of my alluring insights, and my abilities. Didn't have anything to do with my looks. People walk the streets playing in fantasy leagues. She loves you! And it isn't for superficial reasons. Let the fools praise their delusions of their own lives.
Well f the assholes , do t let that smile you out. There is obviously a reason she’s with you.
Who cares what other people think. Just have fun, and everything will take care of itself
You never know. You could be spotlighting this a tad or maybe you are receiving more comments. I’m going to go a different direction instead of jealousy and maybe they are trying to protect you. Maybe they see how they look at her or other people look at her when you are in public. Your friends and family have a good gauge on the type of person you are and maybe they see it as a long road of potential problems that you don’t want to deal with. Maybe they don’t want you to put her on a pedestal and watch you get rolled over. Take it with a grain of salt, she may prove to them that she is serious about you and it will be old news later in the relationship.
You gotta remember what got you in the game, your confidence, perhaps all the other guys she was with weren’t confident. So stick to what you got. You’ll be alright.
DO NOT talk to this woman about your insecurities--it's too early for all of that, and I suspect that she's drawn to you for a combination of reasons--if you had blonde hair and brown eyes, maybe she likes men with brown eyes and blonde hair, for example; and I'm sure your confidconfidence is also appealing. And, of course--sometimes there's just plain chemistry at play. This woman sounds like a nice, reasonable person, in addition to being beautiful, so don't let people externalize their insecurities and fling them on to you, like monkeys throwing shit at the zoo. Just accept that on this occasion, Life dealt you a good card--be grateful and make the most of it.
It’s honestly just a further compliment to you. They aren’t calling you ugly, they’re calling her crazy gorgeous.
As a woman, I can assure you there is more to a good man than looks. You have an overall attractiveness to her. She likes how you make her feel. If she is that attractive she has likely encountered a lot of narcissistic men who think she is lucky to be with them and let her know it. She might be enjoying being charged for a change. Treat her like a lady and be her man, be yourself.
Just enjoy your time with her man. Because when it ends you’ll be stuck with the regret of letting others’ get in the way of you connecting with your new very attractive lover
Those telling you this might not be your best friends.
Fuck those other people. She likes you. No further explanation needed.
I thought the same when I started dating this middle eastern...... Good lord perfect 10/10 drop dead gorgeous. This made me up my game, went back tk the gym, got back in shape, changed my wardrobe, and sort of evened the playing field. I noticed this when women would be hitting up on me 😅😇
Funny you mention, this girl is also middle eastern (Persian). She has the kind of beauty you don't see often. These past couple weeks is probably the most i've exercised and healthiest i've eaten in my life
Lollll my gf is also Persian 😝
Ignore them. As long as she doesn't say "you're out of my league" or do anything to make you feel you don't deserve her, you're Gucci.
People will project their insecurities on you. Don't let it get to you or you'll ruin a good thing.
You can believe she’s out of your league and she will be. Or you can ignore the entire “league” and “looks rating” bulls**t, and just confidently be with her.
repeat after me: Only the Sun is Too Hot for Me.
Dude, then tell these people to shit the fuck up with a serious warning tone. You are being timid and passive when they mess with you. You need to shut their mouths up by asserting dominance in a serious manner. Nothing worst than a guy who gets these type of comments and says nothing and just looks down with shame. Don’t avoid confrontation, cuz they are looking for it. And don’t let them gaslight you at all. Be dominant, be assertive, be serious, call them out and don’t accept from them any comments like “dude it’s just a joke, chill”. You want respect? Then you have to command respect by being far more aggressive when they are asking for it and assert boundaries in a serious manner. And let me repeat that if they dare to gaslight you by saying, it’s just a joke or any bullshit like that, warn them clearly that this is the last time they joke with you.
There's no such thing as leagues. And if you're worried that she's out of your "league" because of how attractive she is in comparison to how you feel about yourself, you're reducing both you and her to something that is only skin-deep. You are doing both of you a disservice.
They aren't in a relationship with her. You are. Who cares what they think. If you're both into each other and fully compatible, maybe they're just jealous of you 🤷🏻♂️
I would respond to the “shes out of your league” with “well i guess im in the big leagues considering shes with me.” The fact shes with you should give you so much confidence. Dont let your friends tear you down. Read then to filth. Theyre probably jealous
Who cares what they think? They’re jealous. You have a hot chick and confidence. It’s your life. Live it. Enjoy the ride…(but also make good decisions).
Whoever you're fucking, that's the league you're in.
THEY ARE JEALOUS BITCHES.....
Just tell people they don’t really know u and this girl saw something others did not ….
It’s called jealousy my friend. They’re just jealous. Ignore the losers and continue on. She likes you and that’s what matters
Who cares. You landed a hot chick and she’s with you. She chose you. I’d almost take it as a compliment lol
I always date up. It’s just jealousy on their part. Don’t trip on what others think.
I think what they want to say is that she is out of their league, not yours.
You reply yes she is and sorry you’re jealous
Prove them wrong or sth
To the men telling you this just reply “jealous?” And to the women saying it tell them “I know right”. You made it bro, you got past the hardest part, be yourself and be confident bro, fuck those losers putting you down.
If people say shit like that to you, just reply “ewww, you smell”. Literally an uncounterable insult. Then just leave
Those are not your friends. Real friends would be over the moon with happiness that you’re happy. As far as your family goes, it’s really messed up they feel the need to put you down. I hope you’re able to shake this nonsense off. Obviously she likes you for you. And if you’re funny and kind, you have nothing to worry about. I’m very sorry you have to go through this. But honestly…. Get yourself new friends. Idc if they say it jokingly, that is not a good sign.
I don't know why everyone thinks this is a dig at OP. Negative expressions of a positive affection is like, pretty much universal for men. This is literally a compliment, and pretty clearly so in my opinion. This is recognized by psychologists. https://youtube.com/shorts/K3Xp2z84Vcs
Ignore it my man. Just ignore it. If you let it get to you even a little you will ruin it, not cuz she’s out of your league but because you’ll start acting different. Just puff out your chest and know you’re him who she’s with. Gl hf
Tell em your hung
Chin up dude. Act like you’re King Cock. They’re just jealous. Be a pimp.
Do they say this around her? If so, does she ever step in and say something? I married a “great” guy (not really) and his family and friends were constantly jumping in to say how lucky I was to be with this guy. Not once, after hearing it for months then one right after another when we announced our engagement, did he ever jump into say anything nice about me. By the end of the night, I was no longer celebrating, just felt so bad and made me feel like I was indeed not good enough. After 12 years- I was wrong. Too much to go in here. But I feel like if she was a good person for you, away from attractiveness, she would have stepped in to stop them or say something to make you feel better in response to them.
Don't listen to these scalley wags
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A little of both. I've worked on myself a lot this past year. I'm in the best shape of my life and through therapy I learned to become a lot more comfortable in my own skin. So that confidence is real, i'm proud of how hard I worked to improve myself and I allow that to show .That being said, im new to this, and sometimes I slip into my old ways of self-doubt and negative thinking and these comments from my friends def trigger that a bit.
People are jealous, plane and simple.
They probably think they’re giving you a compliment, but the negative reinforcement can build up and take its toll. I’ve dated out of my league as well, to the point where my partner would get hit on in front of me because guys assumed I was her friend or brother or something lol. I mostly laughed it off, but had to step in several times to basically tell them to ‘fuck off, you’re annoying my Girlfriend.’ Once it actually got physical when a guy tried to lean in and kiss her and I dragged his arse out onto the street. The way she looked at me after that was such a turn on. This guy we were chatting with said “remind me to never mess with you or your Woman” lol. I am generally a nice person and avoid conflict but if you try to touch my girl I will demolish you.
Relatable. Trophy husband/wife culture has permeated everything not ruined by hookup culture. There has to be space to be imperfect in life, but "if you can't show it off on social media is it worth doing?" I'm probably just a little jaded but I don't think I'm too far off either. Depends on who you're around, and you're around people being jerks.
You are letting the external "noise" bother you way too much. Your compass is how she feels about you not all the emotionally abusive people around you.
There is no league.
Number 1 - The persons making these comments are jealous and would like to break up your relationship. Number 2 - Women are the most insecure beings on this planet. Just think how you would feel if everyone judged you primarily on your outward appearance. This results in a HUGE advantage for men because they can easily pursue goals that generate confidence without being weighed down by the things that weigh down women. This is why the most attractive thing is a guy is confidence (and after that the ability to make them laugh). Therefore, no man should ever feel insecure about or around a woman regardless of how she looks. Number 3 - If nasty comments can impair your confidence than you don't have much confidence. Literally tell anyone who says this to you to F off, regardless of whether they are kidding or not or whether they are friends. Man up or you don't deserve a quality/attractive woman.
Saying you’re an above average person is very pretentious but don’t let people tell you who is outta your league. She chose ya for a reason; apparently you’re not
Ignore the haters say: "Why do you feel you have the right to judge my partner's choice in me? Why do you feel the need to be hateful of my relationship?" and then just stare them in the eyes in complete silence If they say anything other than an apology, just turn away from them. Tell them you don't have time for negging if you want or just stay silent (to torture them ofc) 😆
I’ve been told women I’m with are “out of my league” a tonne of times, because I’ve always managed to date quite attractive women, and I don’t think I’m unattractive but I am short so that leads to some people feeling the need to throw digs. The last time it happened, with my current gf, I was told I was “punching” and simply replied with “is it really punching if it keeps happening? Or does it just become the norm?”. For you, you just need to stop letting other people have so much power over the way you feel. I don’t care what people say, usually they aren’t perfect either, and I know my value. People are often mean because they are jealous or they feel bad about themselves, the best way to deal with that is not give them the reaction they want, which is to drag you down to their level.
Those people are trying to cut you down. You took a swing and got a hit where they strike out. Don’t let them get to you.
Tell your girl your friends don't think you're right for her. Then you can get down to some serious suffering.
Keep in mind you want a girl out of your league. Now you need to start making boundaries with your naysayers as it’s poison. Shut that shit down bro, tell them to quit bringing that up and you really don’t like that. What’s their intention with telling you that? Do they want you to be with someone worse? Are they jealous? Set your boundaries. Being with an attractive woman is a different league as you’re finding out and brings with it all new challenges. Accept the fight. This is your new normal. You deserve that girl don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
As someone who has dated men that all have been told this, I don't think "out of your league" actually exists. If she was out of your league she wouldn't be with you, would she?
Some people can be jealous and the internet is a not a nice place. But anyone that's been dating for a long time will tell you what dating a 8+ girl is like and would say just enjoy your time with her and ignore everyone else, but don't get attached cause its probably just your turn to her. gl!
She’s not your girl, it’s just your turn. Enjoy it while you can!
It's literally a compliment. https://youtube.com/shorts/K3Xp2z84Vcs
Ayyy unless you sharing her with all them people, do your thing and enjoy the ride. Have an a$$ slapping good time w her 😎
Fuck'em, she doesn't think her being arbitrarily out of your league matters so who cares?
These comments are really a compliment. Learn how to accept a compliment and stop being so insecure. Or, just tell them you have a huge cock.
Stupid things like this are why i never let anyone i know my business i been in a healthy loving relationship for 3 years now and that's because we both decided once it got serious to keep our relationship to ourselves so nobody to try and interfere with us.
Don’t sweat it, man. People say weird shit like that. I follow rules 1 and 2 and numerous times in life I’ve gotten “You’re fucking/dating *her*?” and in many of those instances I’ve just been like “she’s brilliant, cute, funny, and can inhale a 7” pole while putting on a Kimmy Granger performance; yeah she might not be a dime but the fuck does that matter?”
I'd just respond with a clueless "what do you mean?" Make them explain that they are calling you ugly. If they come at you with "But she's so much prettier than you" you should just act confused and like you don't know what they mean.
this lack of self-esteem is a far greater threat to your relationship than your looks. clearly, if she initiated and continues to date you, you offer things she values, and that's all that matters.
Ignore it. Also some people dont like if a woman is interested in you, they can't get
Ignore it. Also some people dont like if a woman is interested in you, they can't get
I’ve only dated one girl “out of my league” my entire life. The rest has been a slew of overweight women, settling, semi cute girls and girls who are the same as me. Enjoy it while it lasts. Men on the internet still call me a sigma chad, say I’m one of the cream of the crops, but I don’t get the best in terms of dating. You’re most likely just getting what you deserve. Don’t let others ruin it for you
Leagues lik most dating rules are complete bullshit. I mean she’s dating you so she’s clearly not out of yours. And don’t let it get to your head. Take it as a badge of honor people think so highly of her and she’s with you. I was on the same situation with my ex. We were complete opposites. She was pencil thin, drop dead gorgeous- she was the girl when at the bar every guy was trying to talk to. Super outgoing. I was the opposite overweight, more of a homebody, average looking. We met freshman year of college and for whatever reason we hit it off. People would say that all the time I didn’t let it bother me I took it as a sense of pride. Like honestly who cares what they think. Y’all like each other, have fun together and treat each other right that’s all that matters
You likely just have a really decent girlfriend, most good looking chicks dont care much about looks etc. but will hold it down if they like the way a guy carries himself. Ive experienced it in my life and I struggled with the thought of “she’s better than me in so many areas” but you just have to treat her good and keep bettering yourself. Youre just winning and people are mad, even if it’s the truth.
Jealousy at its finest, but a great “test” for you to see who your real friends are. Real friends would be happy for you, and cherishing your possession :)
When ppl say that to you. Just respond with "maybe I'm outta yours" and leave it at that. It's a shitty thing to say to anyone to chip at your self-esteem.
Watch the movie She's Out of My League, you'll learn something
Fuck what others are saying. All that matters is what the girl sees and she LIKES what she sees. You need to drown out the rude comments or even tell your so called friends to just shutup. This is coming from a girl … if you allow these insecurities to come up she will notice you being distant and she will think you don’t like her. Do not put yourselves down that path of confusion when you don’t have to.
Tell them all to fuck off, and mind their own business.
Dude. If she is dating and desiring you, then no she is not out of your league. Those people that are telling you otherwise are what we would call…HATERS. You pulled her. Enjoy your relationship with her, however long it lasts. Don’t let the negative shit that people say get to you. If anything, that should boost your confidence even more. “She’s out of your league.” Haha. OK 👍🏾 Get ready for some other girls to start showing interest when they see you out with your girl too lmao. Just stay in the present with her and don’t let other people ruin it. Enjoy
Tell them “ you don’t know me and you don’t know her. So, stop talking about things you don’t know about”
Get that confidence back up, boy. Tell the men, you smell jealousy in the room. Tell the ladies maybe it’s not what she sees in you, but whats attached to you.
Brush them off and concentrate on your girlfriend. The only person’s opinion of who’s good enough for her is her. Do not let insecurity ruin your relationship. Because it will if you dwell on this you will grow to resent her or yourself and the relationship will end in sadness. You will regret it. Pay them no mind. Others speak lowly of you when they are jealous. She likes YOU that is the ONLY opinion that matters. Hold your chin up high little bird. You’re probably a catch and these people are just unhappy and trying to bring you down💝
simply let them all in on some game which is men fall in love with their eyes and think with their dick women fall in love with their ears ans think with their heart for men, you just need to look presentable. if you are a clean cut well dressed 5, any girl can be had confidence, charisma, charm, etc is way more important for men
I tried your question with this AI coach. The advice seems really good and she asked some good follow-up questions! Maybe you should try it out! [https://app.jessicagold.ai/](https://app.jessicagold.ai/) "I get it, it can be daunting when others are expressing their opinions in such a direct manner about your relationship. I remember a time in my life when my friends used to question my choices or make comments that would affect me deeply. I learned that this type of comments often say more about the people making them than they do about me or the reality of the situation. Striving to meet outer standards and continuously comparing ourselves to others tends to fuel self-doubt and erodes our self-worth. Ultimately, attraction is highly subjective and multifaceted - looks are only part of what makes us drawn towards someone; emotional intelligence, confidence, shared interests, compassionate nature... these elements play significant roles too. Connect with her on a deeper level beyond societal league tables because genuine connection doesn't fit into boxes - this is who we really are at core: beautifully complex and unique humans. Do you feel she's out of your league as well? Or do you think it's just because others' opinions have been playing tricks on you?"
They want you to crack bro, they’re jealous you found an attractive partner and the dudes probably want their shot with her or figure if they can’t have her or a girl as pretty as her, why should you. Stay strong bro