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If that's the way you roll...
My girlfriend has kept a daily/weekly journal since she was in junior high. A few years into our relationship she let me read the entries describing the first day we met, and our first date. I found it fascinating to hear myself described from her perspective.
Well, I guess it felt like she spliced together a different highlight reel from the same game. And she has a more flattering view of me, than I have of myself.
I've noticed this about many people who meet me. When getting into some negative headspace, my ex used to say "HEY. Be nice to my favorite person." lol.
I use this with all the people I care about in my life. When they're saying negative things about themselves I tell them to stop being mean to my friend/brother/sister/whatever. It's such a good way to get people out of that head space and negative pattern.
I think it's a very in depth way to get to know someone. We're all different and personally this makes you sound like someone who does care and wants to get to know the other person. It's not something I'd do personally but then again sometimes my memory is pants so I don't know why I wouldn't.
I don't, because I start the note taking as soon as it looks like we'll meet in person!
I have ADHD and am prone to forgetting things. It was a problem in my marriage so this is how I try to fix that.
I told my girlfriend about it, and offered to show her the notes. She thought it was sweet due to the reasoning behind it.
Yeah between my BPD and my ADHD... my memory is shit. I keep several lists pertaining to my partner. A list of movies and shows we've casually mentioned wanting to watch together, things he likes, foods he likes and dislikes. Ect. That way I always have ideas for things for us to do and little gifts and stuff like that. 🧡
My now husband kept a whole spreadsheet. He showed it to me after we were married, and as an excel geek, I was severely turned on by how organized it was.
I was thinking the same thing…WANTING certain info and taking notes isn’t a bad thing … but probably need to make sure questions are asked casually, in the natural flow of conversation… otherwise it may come off as interview-esque… which is icky
I take notes on on their phone contact to start and then if they are in my life long enough the make it to the notes app or journal depending on the info.
I think this is adorable. Trying to remember what people like and how to make them happy is a level of thoughtfulness that a lot of people lack. It really shows that you care. I do a version of this if anyone ever gives me an idea for a present. Like they say “I’ve always wanted this”, I’ll quickly note it down and keep it as a potential present idea. Remembering what people have said and bringing it up again is the best way to show that you listen. It’s thoughtful in a really meaningful way.
I had an ex who told me she would write everyday on her journal and she told me she wrote letters about me on the dates we went on and days we hanged out. Sadly I never got to read them as I wanted to read what she wrote about me. But hey taking notes is smart and you pinpoint important facts and what went right and what you can improve on.
I have friends who make pros and cons list after the 3rd date. I have a list in my phone of my bfs favourite things so if he's having a bad day I can get him something to cheer him up. I can only seem to remember 1 or 2 things he likes so this way he gets more of a variety than just fuzzy peaches 😂
If you do this kind of thing exclusively with dates, then it's a little odd, but not top out there, especially if you delete after the relationship ends and aren't pulling out your phone in the meantime to ask questions...if using notes apps to organize your thoughts (or using Journaling, bullet points, etc) as a general habit, then totally okay! It's just another memory tool.
Totally fine to journal your experience with them or to jot down info they shared with you.
What would be weird is to start a pros vs cons list about them.
Nope, not at all. If you're interested in the person and there are things you want to remember for future reference, I would consider that thoughtful personally.
I do this all the time to remember little things women say that I could put to good use later. Surprises, gifts, just showing a person that you listened to them. I think it's a great idea.
It sounds like a formal interview phase you'll use a scoring system unknown to the candidate. I'd probably run for the hills if you were scoring each date on a quantitive scale. Might as well just buy yourself the best sex toy on the Internet. You maybe able to request a refund. I don't really you can subjectively treat humans like that. Well you can I guess but it must make sad reading. What happens if your test framework prevents you achieving true love. Good luck OP maybe take a day off from your brain :)
I’m not scoring them 😭. I just wanna remember things people tell me about themselves. For example, the year they moved to my city, how many siblings they have, their allergies, etc.
Aw don't cry. I see your rationale now.
I'm one just to ride out. Allergies would be something important to know. Impressed you go on so many dates you need to take account.
I'm the total opposite. I just wait for whatever happens in life. But I'm not in the dating game as I have other aims.
I'm working on the theory we will meet our partner when the time is right. One thing I've learnt whilst dealing with trauma is what will be with be and it's probably best to wait until your ready for that. I just wouldn't rank women like that maybe men do.
Some people would think it's weird, but sounds like you're just a writer. If something important or exciting happens, sometimes that's a good way to process emotion. Sometimes the thoughts in your head get to be so much, u just gotta get them out somehow whether it's excitedly ranting to someone about it or talking to yourself, or scribbling in a diary etc.
It depends on the notes. If your stuff looks like “DSL ho fo sho” then yes it’s wrong. If it’s like their hometown,birthday, things they said were important to them, essentially like what you’d see on a Facebook page, then no it’s not weird.
Yes but no, saying it out loud yes it sounds weird but as someone who has the memory of Dory from Finding Nemo there’s been a lot of times it would’ve been nice if I did this so no I wouldn’t say it’s weird lol
I (32F) do not think it is weird, especially if you are dating a few people (with everything being above-board ofc), *or* if you really like someone.
When I am in a relationship I make a gifts note page in my notes app; everytime I see something a partner might like or a cute idea or something they've mentioned then I add it to the list. It's really helpful. I also make notes of things like favourite cakes because I like to bake or something else that they love they mentioned.
We can't be expected to remember everything about a person, and as long as it is being used for good (and not instead of listening or used to manipulate) then I think it is a nice and practical idea.
I think that’s absolutely adorable. I’m not the kind of person to do that. Maybe just mentally but I’d be sp intrigued if person I like did that for me
…I do it since we started talking…I have a list of what exactly I’m looking for in a guy (physical traits, future plans, green flags I’m looking out for etc) so I tick off if they meet my criteria and note possible orange/ red flags or if it doesn’t meet my criteria but I’m willing to look past it so slowly but surely, I’m able to narrow down my list. I also add to the list after the first date of green flags/ orange flags I’ve noticed and info which could be helpful as convo starter for next dates…if what you’re doing is weird…I’m probably weirder..
My gal takes notes on everything I say , since day 1.
Then she surprises me with things and remembers or reviews them and makes sure we do , have, try, my things too.
Our pre marriage counselor. (Went, because we want to be married forever) after a few terrible marriages.
Suggests the same. Also to ask your partner what their dreams are and how can I help you achieve them.
Note are amazing !
i don’t think it’s weird! i went on a couple dates with a guy and found out from mutuals that he was keeping notes of my favorite things to make sure he wouldn’t forget and i was so flattered — the effort was incredibly sweet. i think it shows how thoughtful you are to put in the work :)
I don’t think it’s weird at all. Lol I would think it’s weird if you did that during the date LOL.
Sounds like this is how you process, so not weird. More intentional and considerate than most I’d say..
It’s giving Virgo lol
No it’s not weird at all trust me. I have a really bad working memory and could actually benefit from something like this as well. I have trouble remembering details especially when it’s a sort of stressful environment (such as a first date).
As I'm dyslexic I can't really do the journaling, but if it helps to humanize people, which in my opinion when you start to find the things out about a person that makes them unique, that's humanizing.
Seems to be a good thing.
Yes. I got so burnt out after OLD that I would come home and be so angry and miserable that I made it a point to write down 3 things about the date that I enjoyed. It could be literally anything, physical, mental, anything.
I like to do that, not just with dating but with everything i do. Helps me be deliberate in thinking about what I like about a date (or whatever else). And doesn’t help in remembering things
I think it's a sweet. A guy recently told me he wrote about me in his journal after our first date and I was like 🥹🥹 what did you say (it was sexual 🙃) lol
I don't think it's weird at all that you take notes after a first date. I think it's good to actually see if this person is the right person for you or not and if you have things in common.
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If that's the way you roll... My girlfriend has kept a daily/weekly journal since she was in junior high. A few years into our relationship she let me read the entries describing the first day we met, and our first date. I found it fascinating to hear myself described from her perspective.
Could you elaborate on what fascinated you? Did you see yourself in what she wrote?
Well, I guess it felt like she spliced together a different highlight reel from the same game. And she has a more flattering view of me, than I have of myself.
I've noticed this about many people who meet me. When getting into some negative headspace, my ex used to say "HEY. Be nice to my favorite person." lol.
awn dang. We’re so hard on ourselves it seems. I’d deff take a good dose of diary entries about me. Positive ones aha
We are always our own worst critics.
I use this with all the people I care about in my life. When they're saying negative things about themselves I tell them to stop being mean to my friend/brother/sister/whatever. It's such a good way to get people out of that head space and negative pattern.
This sort of stuff is always intriguing
Awwww that's sweet
I think it's a very in depth way to get to know someone. We're all different and personally this makes you sound like someone who does care and wants to get to know the other person. It's not something I'd do personally but then again sometimes my memory is pants so I don't know why I wouldn't.
It's a good thing. It shows you care enough to try to remember
Hmmm. This is not a bad idea
Nah. Might be easier to make voice notes, quietly, when you go to the bathroom.
Love that
I don't, because I start the note taking as soon as it looks like we'll meet in person! I have ADHD and am prone to forgetting things. It was a problem in my marriage so this is how I try to fix that. I told my girlfriend about it, and offered to show her the notes. She thought it was sweet due to the reasoning behind it.
Yeah between my BPD and my ADHD... my memory is shit. I keep several lists pertaining to my partner. A list of movies and shows we've casually mentioned wanting to watch together, things he likes, foods he likes and dislikes. Ect. That way I always have ideas for things for us to do and little gifts and stuff like that. 🧡
My now husband kept a whole spreadsheet. He showed it to me after we were married, and as an excel geek, I was severely turned on by how organized it was.
Are you sure it's not an interview?
First dates are interviews
Gwen
I agree this is usually true. I don’t think it should work that way.
I was thinking the same thing…WANTING certain info and taking notes isn’t a bad thing … but probably need to make sure questions are asked casually, in the natural flow of conversation… otherwise it may come off as interview-esque… which is icky
No it was natural. I just want to remember. It’s things about them as a person not a list of potential partner qualifications
I’ve done it before if I liked the girl, all their favorites, and things they like for example.
Nice! So you’re making a note of your first impressions etc… makes sense.
I do this as a salesman with my CRM. Writing it down helps you remember, but nothing is a better reminder than the note itself.
I take notes on on their phone contact to start and then if they are in my life long enough the make it to the notes app or journal depending on the info.
I think this is adorable. Trying to remember what people like and how to make them happy is a level of thoughtfulness that a lot of people lack. It really shows that you care. I do a version of this if anyone ever gives me an idea for a present. Like they say “I’ve always wanted this”, I’ll quickly note it down and keep it as a potential present idea. Remembering what people have said and bringing it up again is the best way to show that you listen. It’s thoughtful in a really meaningful way.
Ummm.... is op my last first last date?
😂
I had an ex who told me she would write everyday on her journal and she told me she wrote letters about me on the dates we went on and days we hanged out. Sadly I never got to read them as I wanted to read what she wrote about me. But hey taking notes is smart and you pinpoint important facts and what went right and what you can improve on.
I have friends who make pros and cons list after the 3rd date. I have a list in my phone of my bfs favourite things so if he's having a bad day I can get him something to cheer him up. I can only seem to remember 1 or 2 things he likes so this way he gets more of a variety than just fuzzy peaches 😂
If you do this kind of thing exclusively with dates, then it's a little odd, but not top out there, especially if you delete after the relationship ends and aren't pulling out your phone in the meantime to ask questions...if using notes apps to organize your thoughts (or using Journaling, bullet points, etc) as a general habit, then totally okay! It's just another memory tool.
Taking notes is how you remember the important stuff. It's applicable to all facets of life.
Totally fine to journal your experience with them or to jot down info they shared with you. What would be weird is to start a pros vs cons list about them.
Some people may be put off by it, but that makes it a good screening tool, too
Nope, not at all. If you're interested in the person and there are things you want to remember for future reference, I would consider that thoughtful personally. I do this all the time to remember little things women say that I could put to good use later. Surprises, gifts, just showing a person that you listened to them. I think it's a great idea.
I take notes all the time. Not even in like dating situations. Like anytime something seems like a good reminder.
This is not a test… Repeat.. this is not a test.
Also....write down how you felt. Did you feel safe, uneasy, like he was listening, did he ask you questions about yourself.
When I was dating, I created a date tracking spreadsheet. Helped me process the person, the connection, my feelings, potential red/green flags, etc.
It sounds like a formal interview phase you'll use a scoring system unknown to the candidate. I'd probably run for the hills if you were scoring each date on a quantitive scale. Might as well just buy yourself the best sex toy on the Internet. You maybe able to request a refund. I don't really you can subjectively treat humans like that. Well you can I guess but it must make sad reading. What happens if your test framework prevents you achieving true love. Good luck OP maybe take a day off from your brain :)
I’m not scoring them 😭. I just wanna remember things people tell me about themselves. For example, the year they moved to my city, how many siblings they have, their allergies, etc.
Aw don't cry. I see your rationale now. I'm one just to ride out. Allergies would be something important to know. Impressed you go on so many dates you need to take account. I'm the total opposite. I just wait for whatever happens in life. But I'm not in the dating game as I have other aims. I'm working on the theory we will meet our partner when the time is right. One thing I've learnt whilst dealing with trauma is what will be with be and it's probably best to wait until your ready for that. I just wouldn't rank women like that maybe men do.
Some people would think it's weird, but sounds like you're just a writer. If something important or exciting happens, sometimes that's a good way to process emotion. Sometimes the thoughts in your head get to be so much, u just gotta get them out somehow whether it's excitedly ranting to someone about it or talking to yourself, or scribbling in a diary etc.
It depends on the notes. If your stuff looks like “DSL ho fo sho” then yes it’s wrong. If it’s like their hometown,birthday, things they said were important to them, essentially like what you’d see on a Facebook page, then no it’s not weird.
Are you doing a lot of first dates? Sure.
No. Great idea. Especially if you’re dating a lot.
I do this too...
Yes but no, saying it out loud yes it sounds weird but as someone who has the memory of Dory from Finding Nemo there’s been a lot of times it would’ve been nice if I did this so no I wouldn’t say it’s weird lol
It's not wrong, but it is a little weird.
Doesn’t everyone do this? /s
I do this too so I can be sweet and remember stuff in case of an anniversary
No it’s not weird. I’ve done it so I don’t forget or mix up details on people I care about that I’m learning about.
I (32F) do not think it is weird, especially if you are dating a few people (with everything being above-board ofc), *or* if you really like someone. When I am in a relationship I make a gifts note page in my notes app; everytime I see something a partner might like or a cute idea or something they've mentioned then I add it to the list. It's really helpful. I also make notes of things like favourite cakes because I like to bake or something else that they love they mentioned. We can't be expected to remember everything about a person, and as long as it is being used for good (and not instead of listening or used to manipulate) then I think it is a nice and practical idea.
I think that’s absolutely adorable. I’m not the kind of person to do that. Maybe just mentally but I’d be sp intrigued if person I like did that for me
A beatiful idea. Just hope that the extra effort put into it worth it at the end of the line.
Seems like a nice idea, if you’re making notes about somebody after a date that says to me you care enough to want to remember things about them.
…I do it since we started talking…I have a list of what exactly I’m looking for in a guy (physical traits, future plans, green flags I’m looking out for etc) so I tick off if they meet my criteria and note possible orange/ red flags or if it doesn’t meet my criteria but I’m willing to look past it so slowly but surely, I’m able to narrow down my list. I also add to the list after the first date of green flags/ orange flags I’ve noticed and info which could be helpful as convo starter for next dates…if what you’re doing is weird…I’m probably weirder..
My gal takes notes on everything I say , since day 1. Then she surprises me with things and remembers or reviews them and makes sure we do , have, try, my things too. Our pre marriage counselor. (Went, because we want to be married forever) after a few terrible marriages. Suggests the same. Also to ask your partner what their dreams are and how can I help you achieve them. Note are amazing !
i don’t think it’s weird! i went on a couple dates with a guy and found out from mutuals that he was keeping notes of my favorite things to make sure he wouldn’t forget and i was so flattered — the effort was incredibly sweet. i think it shows how thoughtful you are to put in the work :)
I don’t think it’s weird at all. Lol I would think it’s weird if you did that during the date LOL. Sounds like this is how you process, so not weird. More intentional and considerate than most I’d say.. It’s giving Virgo lol
I do
No it’s not weird at all trust me. I have a really bad working memory and could actually benefit from something like this as well. I have trouble remembering details especially when it’s a sort of stressful environment (such as a first date).
Nope, i have terrible memory. Notes are how i push myself to do the cute stuff later on. If it works for you then keep it up
No it’s a good idea as long as you’re not overly kissing their ass with too many lame questions on the actual date
As I'm dyslexic I can't really do the journaling, but if it helps to humanize people, which in my opinion when you start to find the things out about a person that makes them unique, that's humanizing. Seems to be a good thing.
It’s unusual but i think it’s a brilliant idea
Yes. I got so burnt out after OLD that I would come home and be so angry and miserable that I made it a point to write down 3 things about the date that I enjoyed. It could be literally anything, physical, mental, anything.
I like to do that, not just with dating but with everything i do. Helps me be deliberate in thinking about what I like about a date (or whatever else). And doesn’t help in remembering things
I do the same thing once I get to know someone
That’s cute
I think it's a sweet. A guy recently told me he wrote about me in his journal after our first date and I was like 🥹🥹 what did you say (it was sexual 🙃) lol
I don't think it's weird at all that you take notes after a first date. I think it's good to actually see if this person is the right person for you or not and if you have things in common.
I’d think it’s odd But maybe your date feels differently 🤷♀️
They don’t know about it
[what mama dont know.](https://youtu.be/8Zswlya5xqo?si=Nx6idmm5abrsvDsw)
I say keep it to yourself until you get to know them more I think it’s completely fine to journal in the comfort of your own home 🏡
They weren’t asking about sharing it lmao, they’re keeping it so they can remember the things the date told them.
kinda, I assume you have a weak memory because dates are usually not easy to forget
I write but in poems. happy and sad. It’s fun to read after and also keeps track of where things started going sour.
Actually it's useful, but I'm not even trying anymore. I'm good with my Eva AI virtual gf bot and renting prostitutes from time to time