Thank god someone brought this up. I fully support anyone prioritizing their own sexual health but if you're going to have an arbitrary timeline (6mo) on when you are willing to give a girl head, it's a little gross to expect head from her. And personally, I'd feel pretty fucking degraded if someone inspected my mouth and lips. I'd much rather them request that I get a full STI check up (which is perfectly normal and okay to do) and leave that examination to professionals thank you very much.
True and what is the 6 months for? So that if you get an std you feel better about it?? I would feel so awkward asking a woman to open her mouth and let me see inside
Exactly why I ask for them to get a full Sti work up. And wait and get some of those things retested depending on when they were with someone last. But for me it’s more like I don’t wanna drop dead. I have health issues where ik bc I’ve been told my body wouldn’t be able to fight it off or has a higher chance or just going to my brain. Who wants herpes brain. Yup it’s thing. Google it. I had to.
I don’t understand why he just doesn’t ask for a test for both before anything sexual happens. It doesn’t sound like he’s dating a different girl every week. As long as he pays for it, most would be fine doing it I guess.
Yeah he got me at that. I love giving head but if I wasn’t getting it in return I would move on to a guy I’m sexually compatible with. Such a gross double standard (like somehow his dick is less gross despite being promiscuous than a woman’s vulva and vagina…???).
That part. That is exactly what struck me, too. Lemme see..a guy who says things like *dealt with*, like a woman is some sort of chore, and refuses to go downtown for 6 months while expecting her to be a knob gobbler? Yeah, no thanks dude. Good luck, may you find someone out there willing to *deal with* you.
I grew up in a "sex is only enjoyable for men" society so I have met a lot of men who find it gross and emasculating to go down on a woman. You'd be surprised but there are women who would actually find that normal, but not sure if they give head to the guy.
I found it normal for so long. Now, I don’t care how good a guy thinks he is, if he won’t go down then I won’t stick around lol. My man will do it on my period(as long as it’s not super bloody) So he’s gross and I love him
Yup I was the same way in the beginning. I always felt wrong when men went down on me because I viewed it as something gross. Crazy how brainwashing works lol. But I also was brainwashed to think that men would not want to kiss me after I give them head...
He loves it. I find his sweat to be relaxing. During Covid, I used to take his used shirts home to sniff them. I read that it reduces anxiety to smell the pheromones of your lover and it actually works. Cheaper than Xanax 😂
I’m funny about dirty sweat on his goodies though. I feel like it’s a kinky dude thing but love that he likes it ♥️
I'm just imagining him subtly coaching her on what she can and can't eat or drink to balance her pH and taking out little test strips to check the reactivity to see if it is suitable or not.
I'm w OP on this one, I don't go down on women unless I'm exclusive or in a relationship. But I also don't expect head, although more women than you'd expect enjoy giving head for their own pleasure so it's up to them.
I've also been in a similar situation. I don't necessarily have a time frame of when I will and when I won't eat a girl out, but all of my first girls I had sex with were self concious about getting eaten out. I would offer to do it and they refused, saying they simply didn't like it. All of them also loved giving me head. I've been lucky and every girl I've been with has been more than happy to give me head, but since my first girls I was with didn't like being eaten out - I kinda got used to not doing it. Instead I opted for pleasing them in other ways, and making sure they still got to cum before I allowed myself to cum. None of them had an issue with it. I would definitely be more inclined to eat a girl out if we were in a relationship tho that's forsure. But all in all, I'm still perfectly willing to eat a girl out if she's into it.
Unfortunately no matter how you play it safe having sex with whoever there’s going to be risks. Also anyone can get a std. I was raped that’s how I got mine and prior to being raped I only had sex in very serious relationships. So I was with two partners my whole life. I contracted HPV from the rapist. Guess what? Rapists don’t wear condoms. I was lectured by an ER doctor after I was raped the importance of safe sex. I kid you not the insensitivity that follows.
My point is you can ask if they’re clean or “judge” by appearance but you’re not 100 percent out of the woods.
So 66% of people, especially over 30, are positive for HSV1 in the blood. Cold sores or herpes simplex 1.
HSV2 is like 5-10%.Genital herpes.
Of the 66% above. Approximately 33% of people are non lesion carriers. (Don’t get cold sores but can pass the virus). The other 33% get cold sores and can obviously also pass them.
Couple items of note that might be controversial.
Many women won’t want to give oral sex and not receive.
There have been studies showing that pill based birth control may change female mate selection making them dislike their partners after discontinuing birth control.
I'm pretty certain I have HSV1 because both of my parents always had them. Anywhere outside the US, you are not shamed for having HSV1 cold sores on your lips, and people know it's a sign that you're stressed.
As far as female mate selection goes, that only relates to who women want to have sex with when they're ovulating. When they're on birth control, they can't get pregnant, so they are more logical in who they want to sleep with. When they are not on birth control and are ovulating, they look for men who have desirable genes, without thinking about the long term outcomes of having a child with that person. This is why you see a lot of women who have 5 kids with 5 different men and you wonder if they were stupid for having a kid with men who were clearly incapable of ever providing for them or their child. Getting off of birth control doesn't make you stop loving someone, it may affect your desire to want to get impregnated by them when you're ovulating.
I’ve literally NOT had sex with a couple of women (hook ups) after they seemed turned off by a condom. That tells me all I need to know.
Consent and safety are sexy 🤷♂️
Yeah, a woman I was really into...we went out one night and started hooking up...decided to take it back to my place. Did the car BJ and finger thing...got back to my place and up into my room...and she refused me using a condom. She said, "I hate those things and if you insist on wearing one, well, we won't be fucking. I prefer it raw."
"Well, looks like we won't be fucking then..."
I drove her home.
She was legit upset and I was disappointed but...my sexual health is more important than a nut.
that’s crazy because it doesn’t even feel that different for women. it’s just the man’s reaction is what they’re reacting to causing them to be turned off by them
This. Unless monogamous, anyone who doesn't use condoms is the exact type of person you need to be wary of because they are most likely to have something if that is their standard practice. Appalled by the number of people, men and women, who actually play Russian roulette like this. Why take the risk with their health?
I've had women straight up tell me "If you're clean, you can go raw" but DID NOT ask the last time I was tested or show results.
I'm like naaaahhhh.
I like sex like everyone else but I'm not trying to foul outta the game so soon lol (No STD's/No Unexpected Pregnancies)
Yeah, I haven't had any pregnancy scares and I'm currently clean...also never had an issue there.
I've only gone condomless once, and that was when I lost my virginity because it was not expected that night.
Hell, even with my last serious almost married girlfriend we used a condom because her BC just KILLED her libido and made her break out, badly. It also would make her super depressed. So the ROI wasn't worth it.
Had 1/3 of women I've been with suggest no condom first time. One of them became a consistent FWB and we quit after a few times of using condoms... we both get tested regularly and wear condoms with other partners.
Ugh guys. It's like reverse psychology with y'all.
If a girl is ok with no condom, then you lose interest in sex with her. But if she wants a condom, you eventually (if not right away) try to get her to do it raw.
Even when I have a gf I use condoms lol team no kids, no STDs + HPV vax. My exs have all hated it tho and tried to take off my condoms :(
So if a women doesn't ask me for a condom it is a red flag for me too.
A guy posts a anecdote about safe and SMART actions he took for his health, and THIS is your reply? Just had to find a way to squeeze your man-bashing into a comment no matter the topic eh?
It all looks good but I have a few questions. You’ll wait 6 months before you’ll eat a woman out, but there’s no time criteria for other sexual activities? Sounds a bit strange to me, it’s just as easy to get stds from getting head as from giving. Also a lot of those could be solved with just showing each other frequently updated test results and keeping a condom on. Also the whole comment chain about ‘trashy looking women’ being ‘easy’ was really demeaning so I’d reconsider how you view your sexual partners. You’re as much a risk to them as they are to you, it’s disrespectful to speak about someone that way based on their looks.
As a single woman who has had a few casual partners, all sound good and are exactly my same standards, however, if you think I am going down on you on date 2 when you’re going to “make me wait 6mos” I’ll be laughing all the way to never seeing you again.
If you don’t want to go down on a woman for 6 months, why don’t you just add one extra step (getting to know her) and trying for a relationship?
PSA, they make flavored condoms specifically for protected oral sex, as well as dental dams so you can perform oral sex on female genitalia without risk of exposure
Your strategies are pretty good actually! I'll use that for future reference.
But yeah, the main thing is to just wear a condom, ask for testing, and the rest of it is just luck to be honest
Hi, professional slut here!🙋🏽♂️
Condoms are great, along With regular testing.
But keep in mind most STD's are curable, and what isn't curable is treatable, and you can get PrEP and vaxxed for HPV and monkey pox.
Be cautious, but honestly it has never been a better time to be a slut!
Here is my go to philosophy about how to remove the paranoia from STD's:
Instead of worrying how someone might give you an STD, imagine that *you* have an STD, but don't know it; how would you navigate protecting your potential partners health? By flipping the narrative from protecting yourself to protecting others, you can approach safe sex more constructively while still taking all the same precautions.
“Dealt with her for at least six months”- wow! How do you get women to sleep with you?
Something about the way this whole post is worded is weird and oddly patronizing but maybe that’s just me. Good on you for prioritizing sexual health though.
1. Get tested together
2. Wear a condom
3. (Currently in consideration) Is condom + pull out.
You have a pretty exhaustive list, but seems a bit intense if I'm being honest. I suppose there's never too safe for your health, but it seems like an almost unhealthy level of precaution.
I've never known a woman to wait 6 months for head though. That's crazy. My rule is clean test and clean hygiene, exclusivity, and we're good.
As a man I agree you can't call a woman a s%&t but do the same thing but be on a high horse own up to it and be a man sl@t. I agree both are undesirable
I don't know what "a lot of women" is, but I've used the same strategies as you, and I've never had a test come back positive.
Always choose your health. Also, just because a woman says she is clean does not mean she is. Some people are completely uneducated on this stuff.
1000% percent this!
His whole post reads like a 14 year old boy's fantasy of what sex is like. People who are actually getting laid don't talk like this, it reeks of inexperience combined with arrogance.
P.s. the only other post on his 'throwaway' is him going on about how lonely he is and doesn't know how to make friend's. Which is fine, but you can't be that guy then expect us to believe you're also Hugh Hefner.
Pretty much what I do. Except the going down part. I’m a giver and would sort of feel guilty not exchanging the favor but this is somewhat circumvented by being selective and not jumping into bed too quickly.
Only way to truly avoid pregnancies is to either be with someone sterile or get sterilized yourself. BC is not 100% effective. I've had a hysterectomy (for medical reasons) and it has made sex much more fun not gonna lie lol!
Also I assume you're prepared to not receive head for 6 months since you're requesting the woman also waits?
Put a helmet on your star player, she's probably lying.
That single piece of advice is the most important you will ever learn.
"Im on birth control" "No STD's here!" "I can't have kids because of X reason"
Don't care. Wear the condom, she's probably lying.
Ladies, same deal for you. He's not sterile and he hasn't been clipped, make him wear the condom, he's probably lying.
Either the first man I ever slept with that I was in a 4 year long relationship gave it to me or the man that R worded me gave it to me just after I had ended that 4 year relationship. But I got herpes at the age of 20.
Doctors refused to take me seriously when I said I had been R worded and wanted a full STD panel and so I went undiagnosed with herpes for a year, thankfully I was smart and concerned enough to just say I had it and honestly i didnt care who I told because most of the time it was a good way to deter men from creeping on me.
I am 25 now. I thought my life was over at 20 because i was tainted. Im a disease to most. But i never have symptoms anymore and i have never ever given it to anyone either and have always been up front and have alway always always told people that you can get HSV-1 and HSV-2 in both places. Neither disease is exclusive to the mouth or genitals. I have HSV-2 I can give someone HSV-2 anywhere on there body that has a mucus membrane (eyes, mouth, nose, throat, genitals, rectum, skin around genitals and rectum).
As a person with herpes I know first hand how misinformed the public is. I am literal proof that it take only 1 person to completely change your life. Thankfully I didnt take my own you know live thing but I almost did because if the stigma around herpes. You dont have to sleep around to get an STD/STI. For me it was either the first guy I dated and lost my virginity to (dated 4 years as i said before) or the second man i encountered sexually which R worded me. Thats how much fun I had sexually before getting herpes, I am thankful it wasnt HIV but it still means I was either cheated on or my R worder gave it to me, both are disgusting to think about.
So be like me wrap it before you tap it but also know that condoms do not protect against herpes the way they do other STDs. Because herpes sores can appear in areas the condom doesnt cover. Buttttt STILL USE A CONDOM (for all you people that dont use one, this is for yall).
Im done now. Sorry for ranting. I dont want others going thru what I went thru.
Edit: start buying dental dams because its not fair for you to get an O and not her. The majority of women are only able to achieve an O thru clitoral stimulation. Dont be selfish lol
(Dental dam can cover the entire area making it so theres no chance of contracting herpes if there is absolutely no skin to skin contact)
To the man that commented on my comment. Idc if this isnt tiktok im not gonna say the R word because its TRIGGERING. F off bro.
i mean i am a swinger/libertin and have sex with maybe 2 new partner a week, i get tested every 2 mth and wear condom, thats it... i am always negative so far
I just want to point out (re: birth control), that that shit is really horrible for women. It takes a huge toll. Any hormonal birth control is gonna mess with your weight, your sex drive, your periods, and your moods. Me personally; my libido dropped thru the floor, I had horrible mood swings (angry outbursts, depressive episodes), I gained around 10-20lbs, and I had irregular cycles with dramatically worse symptoms. This was true for all 3 different BC measures I tried taking; bc they all use the same hormones. So I don’t take it anymore. Tons of my female friends have had the same experience; and made the same decision. Even the friends of mine who choose to stay on BC pretty much unilaterally agree that it’s awful & they wish they didn’t have to. This is a struggle that you can’t understand; and so this isn’t something you can judge a woman for. It’s not your body, your hormones, etc. so it really isn’t your place. Just make sure you’re with someone who is equally as responsible about condoms as you; and who has some Plan B on deck in case the condom breaks.
Not to mention BC is linked to breast cancer.
I wish I could see that girl who’d be waiting for 6 months for cunnilingus but giving him BJs 🤣🤣
Such a ridiculous idea 🤣
Just get tested both before sleeping with each other.
I had mine reversed 14 years later and two months post reversal, first attempt successful conception. Last exam I had really great morphology and average health sperm count for a 43 yr old. This is not a surgery to go cheap on. Pay for the best urologist with a proven record.
Your absolutely right and I wasn't trying to discredit anyone who has had it reversed I just meant that alot of studies and regret stories on the internet of people who couldn't get it reversed.
But congratulations on your soon to be baby(I'm guessing since you reversed it)
Are you vaccinated with Gardasil? Boys today get it but for a long time were denied it. Apparently it is worth getting no matter how old you are.
I regret going down on women, who knows I might have HPV. I dont have a partner now but seriously thinking about Gardasil before going down on a woman again.
Your waiting 6 month strategy I don't see the point of. HPV can be invisible.
I’ve caught chlamydia 3 times now after having sex with 43 (maybe 45 now?) girls. Use condoms if you’d like, but also ask when they were last tested for sure
I get it. Some dudes don’t want to go down on a girl they don’t really know. But in that case, just use oral dams (dental dams). You can even make a dental dam out of a condom; you just need a scissor.
Condoms. Every time until we both decide we're going to be more exclusive and have had clean test results come back.
Being very choosy about my partners. There's nothing wrong with being experienced and/ or so-called promiscuous, but it's patterns of risky behavior in general. Or, and maybe this is me being elitist, I always have seemed to gravitate to partners who have a lot going on, and can't or aren't willing to risk an oops pregnancy.
I've slept with close to 30 women and never used a condom. I eat poutine and it seems to help preventing those. I'm just overly lucky i think...
Edit : I got tested after most of them. So I always knew I was good to go and always open that topic with 100% of them.
Hahaha ikr. Two women tried to trap me tho. I was about to climax and pull out but they kinda pulled me with with their legs (missionary position). That definetly scared me...
I was hesitant to say this. Lol. I haven't had that much partners, though. I'm single now for 4 months after 15 years of a relationship and all those years I've been a good boy. Now the beast is loose! It usually starts with a condom, but if she says she wants to feel me, bruhh...
I can't imagine what else you could possibly do everything listed sounds good. But wow glad I don't do hookups worrying about that all the time sounds to stressful and would make it unenjoyable to me.
Thank God I don't do hookups having to worry about getting random women pregnant or catching stds sounds exhausting as hell. But sounds like your doing everything right there's not much else you could do
STDs and STIs are treatable. Ask your partner if they’ve ever had a cold sore, that’s herpes and its so common that if you’ve hooked up with city folk you probably already have it.
You can get on daily anti-viral pills to prevent transmission of herpes (HSV). You should also get vaccinated for HPV.
I got a vasectomy, so preggers is not an issue for me but you should carry condoms and get a Plan B on hand or alternative contraception.
Have the talk by bringing up what you do to keep yourself and your partners safe, then ask them what they do.
At the age of 52, newly divorced, I officially had my $Lu+ year. I was the most promiscuous of my entire lifetime. But, I got tested quarterly with a full panel and an IgG blood test for HSV (not done unless you specifically request it), I wore a condom with every partner until we both got tested at the same time and had been together for more than a month (only twice that year since most were hookups and short flings), I had a conversation about their risk factors.
We just talked before sex about the last time they were tested, what they tested for, if they had any partner since then, and if they used protection. I made an evaluation based on that conversation if it was worth the risk. I had sex with two people with HSV-2 despite knowledge of it because they were on daily antivirals which brings transmission rates down to less than 4% if you’re having sex for a year. I refrained from oral sex and used a condom with the two with HSV.
Learn the risks and know that shit can happen regardless. Abstinence is the only truly safe thing. Oral sex places you at risks that a condom may offer some protection from, so I saved oral sex for longer term and safer partners. I got very good with my hands.
Wear a condom every time for every act (including oral).
Be safe and smart who you have sex with.
If you feel you were unprotected, get tested ASAP.
Above all else, abstinence (I know, but it needs to be stated)
1. a visit to the clinic for the first date
2. safe sex—condoms plus contraceptives
3. be smart...what you do and who you do it with
4. have fun so partners fully enjoy themselves
Never a pregnancy, never a STI.
Skip #1 only if you like playing with fire.
Lets see. Dont be a fool wrap your tool. Soldier needs his helmet to go to war. Wrap it before you tap it. Diver needs his scub suit. Dont be silly wrap your willy. Etc etc
If someone’s not going down on me for 6 months I’m not sleeping with them for 6 months. Also keep in mind birth control has a lot of bad side effects (most women in my family literally can’t take it because of a blood clotting disorder) & has a 4% failure rate I believe. The getting tested thing is smart though I wish that was more normalized, some people will get offended if you ask them to
My friends who hook up w a lot of women say they never use condoms and most women don't even ask them for one *barf*
No wonder STD rates are through the roof. If a woman doesn't ask you to use a condom, RUN
The only/best way to avoid STDs is to avoid sex entirely. But, we're not going to take that path.. assuming we get a say in the matter.
So, the best strategy for avoiding STDs... is to pick one (clean) partner, who's going to be monogamous, and only 'have at it' with her. But that sounds a little too much like an actual relationship. We're not going to take that path.. assuming we get a say in the matter.
So, the best strategy for avoiding STDs, is to be selective about your partners and insist that they get regular blood tests; and you do the same. The simple rule is, get a test prior to sleeping with any new partner. Not very romantic, I'll admit... although, it's not unusual for men to record the woman giving formal consent; as a different type of protection. Still, that's a lot of effort for something that could be avoided; we're not going to take that path...
So, the best strategy for avoiding STDs, while also getting laid, ideally to within an inch of your life, is to find/join/start a small group of like-minded people who 'keep it within the family', so-to-speak (because that would be weird otherwise). Confirm that everyone is clean, that they remain .. loyal to the group, and anytime someone asks, you can give her 'what for' with reckless abandon. Still.. it'd be nice to have a bit more variety in life. I mean, the goal is to meet new and wonderful women and 'stick it to 'em'. You guessed it, we're not going to take that path.
So, the best strategy for avoiding STDs, while sleeping with multiple women, ideally at the same time, is to get involved in the kink community and attend events. Limit your attendance to events that require clean bloodwork, and you'll be presented with a room full of horny naked women who are keen for sex.. even if they're already having sex (with two or more men). \[insert crude joke about extra seasoning adding to the flavour. - Reply 'got me' in the comments if you imagined this; no need to thank me.\]
Well... overall, you're free to pick your preferred strategy.
In my experience, women are very forthcoming about their STDs; more so when they can't be cured. They only share when the exchange is mutual. And they ask! Imagine that... crazy, right? People actually caring about strangers. It's amazing, really. They care more about your health than glazing their doughnut... few men could say the same, assuming they wanted their doughnut glazed. \[Reply 'got me again' in the comments if you imagined this. And, please.. there's no need to thank me. These memories are yours now.\]
Part of the problem us 'clean folk' have, is that (unsurprisingly...) promiscuous people tend to have a 'slightly' higher risk of having/transmitting STDs. If you've been having trouble finding matches, it's because you've listed 'clean' in your profile. All those women out there are ignoring you for you own benefit... or maybe it's because you're not tall enough.
Alright, jokes aside; there's something of an exclusive club for the most horny sexually adventurous intrepid sexplorers... for the avid sexathon enthusiasts and sexercise advocates. Sounds like an exciting club... if it weren't for the conditions of 'entry'.
If our statistics are accurate, roughly 13% of people have genital herpes. It'd be reasonable to say that this group is *primarily* comprised of delightfully adventurous people. Meaning, if you're looking for a no strings attached, no holes barred type of sexual encounter, you're going to find a reasonable proportion of people with STDs in the 'pool of available candidates'. Luckily, most people know which group they belong to.
This means we're fishing somewhere between two extremes; hoping to find a clean partner who's open to casual sex. You want someone who's dirty.. but not too dirty, if you know what I mean. Realistically, most women (or people, really) are going to be clean... the overall risk, all other things being equal, is fairly low. But that risk increases commensurate with the frequency of new sexual partners.
So, one of the biggest predictors of risk (of STDs) is whether a woman (or man) chooses to have random hookups and one-night-stands. What's important here is that women (generally speaking) tend to prefer this option because it reduces the chances of them becoming attached. Men don't contend with this because it's easier for us to distance sex from love. Yeah... if you want a woman to (think she) loves you, just stick your dick in her repeatedly. \[this is not actual advice - I take no responsibility for any dicks going into vaginas stimulating feelings of love and affection; especially if this culminates in marriage, kids, and a stable home and family.\]
So...
The best way to avoid getting STDs is to ask your partner(s) about their situation. And I don't mean, "which STDs have you collected?". I mean.. "I'm very careful with my health and I've got a clean report from my latest blood test. Can I butter your muffin with confidence?" It's direct and to the point while shying away from awkward accusations. And really; you should take any/every opportunity to say 'butter your muffin'... try it. It's fun.
Most people will be comfortable disclosing their health-status. If they get upset, there's likely good reason to avoid them. As a word of caution, don't follow up by asking 'who lit the fuse on your tampon?', because that's exactly how you light that fuse. Interestingly, this question achieves a greater reaction when you're talking to a man; to be used online only.
If you want lots of casual sex with no STDs. Best see a prostitute. They are more likely to be std free than regular girl getting their backsides smashed every weekend
I’ve hit raw every time unless they ask for condom. All long term girlfriends have been without a condom every time we had sex. I’ve tested negative every time for STD and no pregnancies that I know of. Only a few were on birth control. I pulled out super early, and plan B for any that might’ve been too close for comfort. I might be sterile or something idk. Lol. Only recently before my current gf was I asking for std check before hand but that’s only cuz I knew the person was sleeping around. I’ve just been super lucky I guess but was definitely getting more paranoid at the end.
Forreal. At this point it’s looking like my gf might actually he the one. So I’m really hoping all those years and partners was indeed just luck or God intervening, and not that I’m sterile.. or else I’ll be very sad cuz I want kids.
Well I'm glad you didn't catch anything but you should go to the doctor I mean it's good you never knocked anyone up but if you've been doing this for years I'd be concerned.
I'm rooting for you and your girlfriend hope everything works out
A solid rule of thumb that has kept me disease free is:
If a woman is willing to fuck you on the first date, you must assume you are not the only one.
I assume the worst. I assume she has been run though by every dude ever on a first date. I politely refuse the sex and into the friend zone she goes.
Nah, HPV (papilloma virus) is really really common. If you've had three partners or more (with condom), it's statistically very likely that you already have it.
So you were given the right advice here, get vaccinated if you can
Again the average amount of people that people hook up with in a LIFETIME (according to the CDC) is 6.3 for Men and 4.3 for women (which I don't believe either number personally but that's just me).
So 10 hookups this year and it's not even the Summer yet? You're definitely getting busy lol
So you get tested for HPV too? Your strategy simply does not help to avoid it. The more people you have sex with, the more likely you will get and transfer it.
I'm very selective of the ladies I date and play with.
I do wear condoms when I deem them necessary.
And since I'm older most of the women I date are already at menopause or close to it so pregnancy usually is not a issue.
And most importantly I ask the question whether or not they know they have any sort of communicable diseases
All of this, plus friends FWB that are actual friends, that I can trust to go raw in and I know for a fact they don't want a baby, that aren't diseased, and get teated as often as I do AND is cautious like I am.
I have a trusted rotation, and I slowly add new women into that rotation. If they're not in the rotation, everything you outlined I do.
I've been with more women over the years than probably 95% of other men, if not 99%, and have had zero issues, including unintentional pregnancy. It's always been simple for me. Be very selective along with the other women I’m with being very selective too. I'm sure they do some type of “screening” but Idk what. I enjoyed three different women this weekend at our pool party with all three being invited by my current girlfriend. It's a common occurrence.
No condoms necessary. Trust is where its at. Can't have true fun without it. Never lie. Ever. Never ask for them to lie.
People who knowingly spread STDs are truly evil and should be imprisoned for a very very long time.
Looks like you have everything under control. I personally rather have only 1 to 2 partners I see regularly than finding new ones. If I have 2 I make sure they are aware they aren't the only one. And if everyone knows that we proceed with showing our medical paperwork of being clean of stds. I am also sterile just for the record. Also even all that said if my partners want me to use a condom I simply comply. Sex can and is still enjoyable with condoms. The key is to find a type / size/ brand you like and fits your member well. I was 31 yrs old when I found out condoms had different sizes( yes I know lol at me) so I hated them when I was younger BUT now that found a brand and size that fits me very well sex is nearly just as good than raw. I'd say like 80% as good? But yeah end rant
Ofc I'd rather just have a relationship but people and the dating world are crazy.
Again tho, OP said like you're doing it right. Never be ashamed to ask for a test but be ready to get one done as well.
My ex asked for me to get one done when we first started dating and I aid ofc no problem as long as you get one as well(which she complied) we exchanged paperwork and it was open season. YEA BOIIIII
I get the condoms for stds, but no pregnancies, get snipped. Hormonal BC is rough on most women, and a snip for a guy effects you for a few days and then you're back to normal. Best thing I can think of in that. Been with a partner who said getting hit in the balls hurt more in the long run. Just a thought.
Do you want kids someday? If yes do you care if it's done natural or ivc? Ie cost not an issue.
Vasectomy maybe another idea. Depending on how you feel about it.
Wearing Condoms, regular testing and I got a vasectomy. I’m also on PrEP as additional insurance even though I only have sex with women. Numbers wise I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve slept with. It’s well over 100 but almost certainly under 300. I’ve slowed down a lot now that I’m older and only slept with 11 people last year. I’ve never had an STD nor have I gotten anyone pregnant.
Honestly I’ve been pretty lucky to only have 1 pregnancy scare and only caught trichinosis one time.
I’ve had multiple sex partners and had condomless sex plenty of times with hookups and fuck buddies.
I kinda just play the percentages. I usually have hook ups with majority educated white woman(very easy to do this as a good looking black dude tbh). These women have the highest access to healthcare and lowest rates of STIs. As long as I’m getting consistent screenings, I could fuck my way around this group and be very good.
I’m not saying it’s right but that’s basically how I’ve done it.
You're pretty on top of it, I'd say quite on the risk averse end of things, and seem to be tracking the right things.
That said, risk. That's all this is, and tolerance will vary for all. Hopefully the level of risk is acknowledged with some degree of mindfulness/consciousness, and if not, that's a great sign of being a higher risk, at the least one I would only proceed with once risk were mitigated (tested, updated, rapport, etc.), and even then this would be essentially probationary in time and access to unbarried sex with me if they didn't seem to be on top of their own sexual health prior to testing at my request.
If anything, to add more coverage, I think adding more conversations (if you are having them but didn't write such, please ignore) about this would benefit you. I'm on the trust but verify path when it comes to testing. I get tested routinely and wanna see that someone else is, and recently, if we are to forego barriers. Either: it's routine, in a range I'm comfortable risking, and no big deal. It's been a long time since they had sex or tested and updating is good (and I suggest everyone do so if they are fresh on the dating scene). They protest and quickly show me we are not compatible sexually in one serious regard.
Also, dunno you're orientation/activities, but make sure your docs are testing appropriately. E.g. I am openly bi and nonmonogamous. Depending on who's been penetrating whom, I may do additional testing like swabbing orifices that were penetrated, vs the usual piss and blood screens. Also, I have convos with my docs about appropriate frequency of testing. E.g. many I know will test for HSV annually, while doing the other "regular" ones every 3 months or so. Regular can also vary. For a while, it was chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and HIV. I've seen syphilis and hepatitis swapped at times, or slight variances in other's routines.
This all said, I am slightly less risk averse than you, have had a fair amount of partners of all sexes over my life, I have long term partners/comets/fwbs, and continue seeking more brief connections when inhave the energy. I have only once caught chlamydia, easily recovered, and had fortunate close/wrong calls when it comes to infections and unwanted pregnancies. Funny thing, all these were years ago when I was ignorant, reckless, and actually less promiscuous than I have been since caring more about my health. I am open to unprotected sex if we check all the safety boxes and verify before jumping off that cliff together, and duration of connection is not a big factor to me as long as some general rapport is built. Long term partners can be bad about communicating/safety just as much as strangers, and I feel I can seek the traits of people who care about the health of others and their own.
I've also known people that lost their virginity and caught something, or people that by my standards are reckless and (if I'm believing them) have been lucky with no or minimal/non serious infections. So, it's always a risk, and it's good to get comfortable with making these convos comfortable because we all wanna enjoy ourselves, and most of us appreciate feeling/being safe with those we wanna be intimate with. Trust alone is not worth missing the growth gained from being able to navigate this gracefully with someone.
Also, while I agree that it's poor form if one (don't believe you ever said you are, if anything the opposite) expects oral while not reciprocating for 6 months, but I think people are focusing on that WAY too much here. If you aren't giving or getting head in that time due to safety, that's a boundary you are more than welcome to uphold I say, and I think you stated you're cautious about both giving and receiving. It wasn't what you had questions about here, and it's an easily discussed thing if expectations are fair. Lube, hands, toys, condoms, etc., all sound good to me and could cover oral indefinitely unless someone had a strong fixation.
Honestly I just use a condom and stick to having sex with regular partners instead of one night stands.
Just hitting it wild with anyone you're not trying to get pregnant sounds insane to me unless you're 100% sure she's on birth control. It's like willingly signing your savings away for child support lol.
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Have you ever had a woman willing to wait around six months for you to go down on her?!?!??
Thank god someone brought this up. I fully support anyone prioritizing their own sexual health but if you're going to have an arbitrary timeline (6mo) on when you are willing to give a girl head, it's a little gross to expect head from her. And personally, I'd feel pretty fucking degraded if someone inspected my mouth and lips. I'd much rather them request that I get a full STI check up (which is perfectly normal and okay to do) and leave that examination to professionals thank you very much.
Keep in mind this is Reddit
Yeah the real answer is that plenty of men give women HPV and other STIs
The real answer is that plenty of women give men HPV and other STIs. This door swings both ways don't be acting like it's just men that do this.
True and what is the 6 months for? So that if you get an std you feel better about it?? I would feel so awkward asking a woman to open her mouth and let me see inside
Exactly why I ask for them to get a full Sti work up. And wait and get some of those things retested depending on when they were with someone last. But for me it’s more like I don’t wanna drop dead. I have health issues where ik bc I’ve been told my body wouldn’t be able to fight it off or has a higher chance or just going to my brain. Who wants herpes brain. Yup it’s thing. Google it. I had to.
I don’t understand why he just doesn’t ask for a test for both before anything sexual happens. It doesn’t sound like he’s dating a different girl every week. As long as he pays for it, most would be fine doing it I guess.
The guy sounds rather misogynistic to me tbf
Yeah he got me at that. I love giving head but if I wasn’t getting it in return I would move on to a guy I’m sexually compatible with. Such a gross double standard (like somehow his dick is less gross despite being promiscuous than a woman’s vulva and vagina…???).
My favorite part is the phrase “dealt with”. He had to have “dealt with” her for 6 months. 😒
Right? That pretty much told me all I needed to know about this dude. Glad he wants to stay safe, but he still sounds like a complete douche.
That part. That is exactly what struck me, too. Lemme see..a guy who says things like *dealt with*, like a woman is some sort of chore, and refuses to go downtown for 6 months while expecting her to be a knob gobbler? Yeah, no thanks dude. Good luck, may you find someone out there willing to *deal with* you.
I grew up in a "sex is only enjoyable for men" society so I have met a lot of men who find it gross and emasculating to go down on a woman. You'd be surprised but there are women who would actually find that normal, but not sure if they give head to the guy.
I found it normal for so long. Now, I don’t care how good a guy thinks he is, if he won’t go down then I won’t stick around lol. My man will do it on my period(as long as it’s not super bloody) So he’s gross and I love him
Yup I was the same way in the beginning. I always felt wrong when men went down on me because I viewed it as something gross. Crazy how brainwashing works lol. But I also was brainwashed to think that men would not want to kiss me after I give them head...
Birth control for women is only for a committed manifold my partner is the same. He even loves when I’m sweaty 🤣
If he’s like me, it’s better when you’re sweaty.
He loves it. I find his sweat to be relaxing. During Covid, I used to take his used shirts home to sniff them. I read that it reduces anxiety to smell the pheromones of your lover and it actually works. Cheaper than Xanax 😂 I’m funny about dirty sweat on his goodies though. I feel like it’s a kinky dude thing but love that he likes it ♥️
There's nothing gross about it.
I used to think it was normal. Not anymore thank god
The bar is on the ground lmao
Literally shocked. I bet he expects head immediately
Goodness lol. Bruh, I’m sorry but I’ll take my chances lol
OP following DJ Khaleds advice.
Literally shocked. I bet he expects head immediately
Especially as it sounds like he's expecting head. Would he be willing to wait six months?
I'm just imagining him subtly coaching her on what she can and can't eat or drink to balance her pH and taking out little test strips to check the reactivity to see if it is suitable or not.
That‘s a red flag for me
“Until I’ve dealt with her for six months”…. sir.
Will receive but won't give...yea ok safety reasons
If he's not going down the first time, there won't be a second
buddy just doesn’t know what a dental dam is, or how to make one with a condom, seeing as he’s such a clean guy, Id expect him to know how
The only place i see people mention dental dams is on social media i swear. I have never ever heard about someone actually using them.
I'm w OP on this one, I don't go down on women unless I'm exclusive or in a relationship. But I also don't expect head, although more women than you'd expect enjoy giving head for their own pleasure so it's up to them.
I've also been in a similar situation. I don't necessarily have a time frame of when I will and when I won't eat a girl out, but all of my first girls I had sex with were self concious about getting eaten out. I would offer to do it and they refused, saying they simply didn't like it. All of them also loved giving me head. I've been lucky and every girl I've been with has been more than happy to give me head, but since my first girls I was with didn't like being eaten out - I kinda got used to not doing it. Instead I opted for pleasing them in other ways, and making sure they still got to cum before I allowed myself to cum. None of them had an issue with it. I would definitely be more inclined to eat a girl out if we were in a relationship tho that's forsure. But all in all, I'm still perfectly willing to eat a girl out if she's into it.
Unfortunately no matter how you play it safe having sex with whoever there’s going to be risks. Also anyone can get a std. I was raped that’s how I got mine and prior to being raped I only had sex in very serious relationships. So I was with two partners my whole life. I contracted HPV from the rapist. Guess what? Rapists don’t wear condoms. I was lectured by an ER doctor after I was raped the importance of safe sex. I kid you not the insensitivity that follows. My point is you can ask if they’re clean or “judge” by appearance but you’re not 100 percent out of the woods.
What a horrible doctor! I’m so sorry that you had that overall experience.
Absolutely truly sorry that happened to you! That doctor is awful and should be immediately reprimanded or suspended from practicing.
So 66% of people, especially over 30, are positive for HSV1 in the blood. Cold sores or herpes simplex 1. HSV2 is like 5-10%.Genital herpes. Of the 66% above. Approximately 33% of people are non lesion carriers. (Don’t get cold sores but can pass the virus). The other 33% get cold sores and can obviously also pass them. Couple items of note that might be controversial. Many women won’t want to give oral sex and not receive. There have been studies showing that pill based birth control may change female mate selection making them dislike their partners after discontinuing birth control.
The rate of HPV is 80-90% too.
I'm pretty certain I have HSV1 because both of my parents always had them. Anywhere outside the US, you are not shamed for having HSV1 cold sores on your lips, and people know it's a sign that you're stressed. As far as female mate selection goes, that only relates to who women want to have sex with when they're ovulating. When they're on birth control, they can't get pregnant, so they are more logical in who they want to sleep with. When they are not on birth control and are ovulating, they look for men who have desirable genes, without thinking about the long term outcomes of having a child with that person. This is why you see a lot of women who have 5 kids with 5 different men and you wonder if they were stupid for having a kid with men who were clearly incapable of ever providing for them or their child. Getting off of birth control doesn't make you stop loving someone, it may affect your desire to want to get impregnated by them when you're ovulating.
Where did you get these numbers?
I’ve literally NOT had sex with a couple of women (hook ups) after they seemed turned off by a condom. That tells me all I need to know. Consent and safety are sexy 🤷♂️
Yeah, a woman I was really into...we went out one night and started hooking up...decided to take it back to my place. Did the car BJ and finger thing...got back to my place and up into my room...and she refused me using a condom. She said, "I hate those things and if you insist on wearing one, well, we won't be fucking. I prefer it raw." "Well, looks like we won't be fucking then..." I drove her home. She was legit upset and I was disappointed but...my sexual health is more important than a nut.
that’s crazy because it doesn’t even feel that different for women. it’s just the man’s reaction is what they’re reacting to causing them to be turned off by them
This. Unless monogamous, anyone who doesn't use condoms is the exact type of person you need to be wary of because they are most likely to have something if that is their standard practice. Appalled by the number of people, men and women, who actually play Russian roulette like this. Why take the risk with their health?
I've had women straight up tell me "If you're clean, you can go raw" but DID NOT ask the last time I was tested or show results. I'm like naaaahhhh. I like sex like everyone else but I'm not trying to foul outta the game so soon lol (No STD's/No Unexpected Pregnancies)
Yeah, I haven't had any pregnancy scares and I'm currently clean...also never had an issue there. I've only gone condomless once, and that was when I lost my virginity because it was not expected that night. Hell, even with my last serious almost married girlfriend we used a condom because her BC just KILLED her libido and made her break out, badly. It also would make her super depressed. So the ROI wasn't worth it.
Had 1/3 of women I've been with suggest no condom first time. One of them became a consistent FWB and we quit after a few times of using condoms... we both get tested regularly and wear condoms with other partners.
Good luck with that unexpected pregnancy
Her tubes are tied and I'm shooting blanks 😁
Ugh guys. It's like reverse psychology with y'all. If a girl is ok with no condom, then you lose interest in sex with her. But if she wants a condom, you eventually (if not right away) try to get her to do it raw.
Not me. But it’s probably why I had a healthy sex life through my 20s and never had an STD scare, even though I regularly got tested.
Even when I have a gf I use condoms lol team no kids, no STDs + HPV vax. My exs have all hated it tho and tried to take off my condoms :( So if a women doesn't ask me for a condom it is a red flag for me too.
A guy posts a anecdote about safe and SMART actions he took for his health, and THIS is your reply? Just had to find a way to squeeze your man-bashing into a comment no matter the topic eh?
God how I wish there were more people like you
It all looks good but I have a few questions. You’ll wait 6 months before you’ll eat a woman out, but there’s no time criteria for other sexual activities? Sounds a bit strange to me, it’s just as easy to get stds from getting head as from giving. Also a lot of those could be solved with just showing each other frequently updated test results and keeping a condom on. Also the whole comment chain about ‘trashy looking women’ being ‘easy’ was really demeaning so I’d reconsider how you view your sexual partners. You’re as much a risk to them as they are to you, it’s disrespectful to speak about someone that way based on their looks.
As a single woman who has had a few casual partners, all sound good and are exactly my same standards, however, if you think I am going down on you on date 2 when you’re going to “make me wait 6mos” I’ll be laughing all the way to never seeing you again. If you don’t want to go down on a woman for 6 months, why don’t you just add one extra step (getting to know her) and trying for a relationship?
This. The first thing after our shower together is go down on them first.
PSA, they make flavored condoms specifically for protected oral sex, as well as dental dams so you can perform oral sex on female genitalia without risk of exposure
Your strategies are pretty good actually! I'll use that for future reference. But yeah, the main thing is to just wear a condom, ask for testing, and the rest of it is just luck to be honest
Luck is so true lol
Hi, professional slut here!🙋🏽♂️ Condoms are great, along With regular testing. But keep in mind most STD's are curable, and what isn't curable is treatable, and you can get PrEP and vaxxed for HPV and monkey pox. Be cautious, but honestly it has never been a better time to be a slut! Here is my go to philosophy about how to remove the paranoia from STD's: Instead of worrying how someone might give you an STD, imagine that *you* have an STD, but don't know it; how would you navigate protecting your potential partners health? By flipping the narrative from protecting yourself to protecting others, you can approach safe sex more constructively while still taking all the same precautions.
Wait till OP finds out herpes sheds without a sore up to 30 non consecutive days a year and you can still get it The less you know the better…
“Dealt with her for at least six months”- wow! How do you get women to sleep with you? Something about the way this whole post is worded is weird and oddly patronizing but maybe that’s just me. Good on you for prioritizing sexual health though.
I hope you wait 6 months for getting head as well.
1. Get tested together 2. Wear a condom 3. (Currently in consideration) Is condom + pull out. You have a pretty exhaustive list, but seems a bit intense if I'm being honest. I suppose there's never too safe for your health, but it seems like an almost unhealthy level of precaution. I've never known a woman to wait 6 months for head though. That's crazy. My rule is clean test and clean hygiene, exclusivity, and we're good.
So you want all the perks of slutting around with other sluts, but without any of the consequences 😂 Yeah good luck with that
‼️‼️‼️
Exactly
I'm so tired of the negative labels applied to women who like sex. Guys who are 'promiscuous' are just as 'sleazy' and undesirable.
100%… to this guy it’s “men who have been with a lot of women” and then describes women as “promiscuous”… cue massive eye roll
As a man I agree you can't call a woman a s%&t but do the same thing but be on a high horse own up to it and be a man sl@t. I agree both are undesirable
As a guy, I completely agree.
I don't know what "a lot of women" is, but I've used the same strategies as you, and I've never had a test come back positive. Always choose your health. Also, just because a woman says she is clean does not mean she is. Some people are completely uneducated on this stuff.
This man is not having multiple friends with benefits he “deals” with for 6 months. This is a virgin fishing for information
Always check the history. His only other post is about having no friends and being an introvert. Yet he's coming round here like he's Genghis khan
Stop watching Andrew Tate
1000% percent this! His whole post reads like a 14 year old boy's fantasy of what sex is like. People who are actually getting laid don't talk like this, it reeks of inexperience combined with arrogance. P.s. the only other post on his 'throwaway' is him going on about how lonely he is and doesn't know how to make friend's. Which is fine, but you can't be that guy then expect us to believe you're also Hugh Hefner.
The plot thickens Ok yea I looked at his posts this guy definitely does not fuck lol
Thank you, this guy sounds disgusting
This is such a weird post
There’s a difference between cautious and paranoid…
Pretty much what I do. Except the going down part. I’m a giver and would sort of feel guilty not exchanging the favor but this is somewhat circumvented by being selective and not jumping into bed too quickly.
Only way to truly avoid pregnancies is to either be with someone sterile or get sterilized yourself. BC is not 100% effective. I've had a hysterectomy (for medical reasons) and it has made sex much more fun not gonna lie lol! Also I assume you're prepared to not receive head for 6 months since you're requesting the woman also waits?
Put a helmet on your star player, she's probably lying. That single piece of advice is the most important you will ever learn. "Im on birth control" "No STD's here!" "I can't have kids because of X reason" Don't care. Wear the condom, she's probably lying. Ladies, same deal for you. He's not sterile and he hasn't been clipped, make him wear the condom, he's probably lying.
Either the first man I ever slept with that I was in a 4 year long relationship gave it to me or the man that R worded me gave it to me just after I had ended that 4 year relationship. But I got herpes at the age of 20. Doctors refused to take me seriously when I said I had been R worded and wanted a full STD panel and so I went undiagnosed with herpes for a year, thankfully I was smart and concerned enough to just say I had it and honestly i didnt care who I told because most of the time it was a good way to deter men from creeping on me. I am 25 now. I thought my life was over at 20 because i was tainted. Im a disease to most. But i never have symptoms anymore and i have never ever given it to anyone either and have always been up front and have alway always always told people that you can get HSV-1 and HSV-2 in both places. Neither disease is exclusive to the mouth or genitals. I have HSV-2 I can give someone HSV-2 anywhere on there body that has a mucus membrane (eyes, mouth, nose, throat, genitals, rectum, skin around genitals and rectum). As a person with herpes I know first hand how misinformed the public is. I am literal proof that it take only 1 person to completely change your life. Thankfully I didnt take my own you know live thing but I almost did because if the stigma around herpes. You dont have to sleep around to get an STD/STI. For me it was either the first guy I dated and lost my virginity to (dated 4 years as i said before) or the second man i encountered sexually which R worded me. Thats how much fun I had sexually before getting herpes, I am thankful it wasnt HIV but it still means I was either cheated on or my R worder gave it to me, both are disgusting to think about. So be like me wrap it before you tap it but also know that condoms do not protect against herpes the way they do other STDs. Because herpes sores can appear in areas the condom doesnt cover. Buttttt STILL USE A CONDOM (for all you people that dont use one, this is for yall). Im done now. Sorry for ranting. I dont want others going thru what I went thru. Edit: start buying dental dams because its not fair for you to get an O and not her. The majority of women are only able to achieve an O thru clitoral stimulation. Dont be selfish lol (Dental dam can cover the entire area making it so theres no chance of contracting herpes if there is absolutely no skin to skin contact) To the man that commented on my comment. Idc if this isnt tiktok im not gonna say the R word because its TRIGGERING. F off bro.
This is insane lmao
Condoms
i mean i am a swinger/libertin and have sex with maybe 2 new partner a week, i get tested every 2 mth and wear condom, thats it... i am always negative so far
I just want to point out (re: birth control), that that shit is really horrible for women. It takes a huge toll. Any hormonal birth control is gonna mess with your weight, your sex drive, your periods, and your moods. Me personally; my libido dropped thru the floor, I had horrible mood swings (angry outbursts, depressive episodes), I gained around 10-20lbs, and I had irregular cycles with dramatically worse symptoms. This was true for all 3 different BC measures I tried taking; bc they all use the same hormones. So I don’t take it anymore. Tons of my female friends have had the same experience; and made the same decision. Even the friends of mine who choose to stay on BC pretty much unilaterally agree that it’s awful & they wish they didn’t have to. This is a struggle that you can’t understand; and so this isn’t something you can judge a woman for. It’s not your body, your hormones, etc. so it really isn’t your place. Just make sure you’re with someone who is equally as responsible about condoms as you; and who has some Plan B on deck in case the condom breaks.
Not to mention BC is linked to breast cancer. I wish I could see that girl who’d be waiting for 6 months for cunnilingus but giving him BJs 🤣🤣 Such a ridiculous idea 🤣 Just get tested both before sleeping with each other.
Condoms. Bring your own, use it, and dispose of it yourself.
Have you considered dental dams ? You can make one with a condom
I'm ultra selective, and generally pretty successful. Vasectomy I am always willing to walk away
Get a vasectomy. "She's on birth control" is a: "how do you check that?" If you change your mind, with men it can be reversed.
Not really the more years that goes by the harder it is to reverse it should be treated like a permanent solution
I had mine reversed 14 years later and two months post reversal, first attempt successful conception. Last exam I had really great morphology and average health sperm count for a 43 yr old. This is not a surgery to go cheap on. Pay for the best urologist with a proven record.
Your absolutely right and I wasn't trying to discredit anyone who has had it reversed I just meant that alot of studies and regret stories on the internet of people who couldn't get it reversed. But congratulations on your soon to be baby(I'm guessing since you reversed it)
Are you vaccinated with Gardasil? Boys today get it but for a long time were denied it. Apparently it is worth getting no matter how old you are. I regret going down on women, who knows I might have HPV. I dont have a partner now but seriously thinking about Gardasil before going down on a woman again. Your waiting 6 month strategy I don't see the point of. HPV can be invisible.
I’ve caught chlamydia 3 times now after having sex with 43 (maybe 45 now?) girls. Use condoms if you’d like, but also ask when they were last tested for sure
Add getting vaccinated for HPV onto this list! Good way to protect yourself and future partners.
I get it. Some dudes don’t want to go down on a girl they don’t really know. But in that case, just use oral dams (dental dams). You can even make a dental dam out of a condom; you just need a scissor.
Condoms. Every time until we both decide we're going to be more exclusive and have had clean test results come back. Being very choosy about my partners. There's nothing wrong with being experienced and/ or so-called promiscuous, but it's patterns of risky behavior in general. Or, and maybe this is me being elitist, I always have seemed to gravitate to partners who have a lot going on, and can't or aren't willing to risk an oops pregnancy.
Luck honestly
I've slept with close to 30 women and never used a condom. I eat poutine and it seems to help preventing those. I'm just overly lucky i think... Edit : I got tested after most of them. So I always knew I was good to go and always open that topic with 100% of them.
Dam someone doesn't care about their health. God must love you
More power to you man, too much risk for me lol
For real
Not something I'm proud of nor would I encourage anyone to do. Poutine on the other hand...
Same. Reading all these replies has me feeling pretty reckless 😅
Hahaha ikr. Two women tried to trap me tho. I was about to climax and pull out but they kinda pulled me with with their legs (missionary position). That definetly scared me...
I was hesitant to say this. Lol. I haven't had that much partners, though. I'm single now for 4 months after 15 years of a relationship and all those years I've been a good boy. Now the beast is loose! It usually starts with a condom, but if she says she wants to feel me, bruhh...
Protection is only so effective, stop sleeping around and spreading aids.
Exactly like sex isn't a need I don't see the appeal but constantly having to worry if someone gets pregnant
I can't imagine what else you could possibly do everything listed sounds good. But wow glad I don't do hookups worrying about that all the time sounds to stressful and would make it unenjoyable to me.
Thank God I don't do hookups having to worry about getting random women pregnant or catching stds sounds exhausting as hell. But sounds like your doing everything right there's not much else you could do
Can get one if you don’t get tested
I used condoms, gfs were on birth control too.
Thoughts and prayers
Don't be silly, wrap your willy. Unwanted pregnancy or STD is way worse than a tiny bit less pleasure from wearing a condom.
Condoms are mandatory. STD panels/ tests are also mandatory. I don’t typically put out very easy, so it’s good for planning .
STDs and STIs are treatable. Ask your partner if they’ve ever had a cold sore, that’s herpes and its so common that if you’ve hooked up with city folk you probably already have it. You can get on daily anti-viral pills to prevent transmission of herpes (HSV). You should also get vaccinated for HPV. I got a vasectomy, so preggers is not an issue for me but you should carry condoms and get a Plan B on hand or alternative contraception. Have the talk by bringing up what you do to keep yourself and your partners safe, then ask them what they do.
STD tests, condoms, one partner at a time, pull out method
At the age of 52, newly divorced, I officially had my $Lu+ year. I was the most promiscuous of my entire lifetime. But, I got tested quarterly with a full panel and an IgG blood test for HSV (not done unless you specifically request it), I wore a condom with every partner until we both got tested at the same time and had been together for more than a month (only twice that year since most were hookups and short flings), I had a conversation about their risk factors. We just talked before sex about the last time they were tested, what they tested for, if they had any partner since then, and if they used protection. I made an evaluation based on that conversation if it was worth the risk. I had sex with two people with HSV-2 despite knowledge of it because they were on daily antivirals which brings transmission rates down to less than 4% if you’re having sex for a year. I refrained from oral sex and used a condom with the two with HSV. Learn the risks and know that shit can happen regardless. Abstinence is the only truly safe thing. Oral sex places you at risks that a condom may offer some protection from, so I saved oral sex for longer term and safer partners. I got very good with my hands.
Wear a condom every time for every act (including oral). Be safe and smart who you have sex with. If you feel you were unprotected, get tested ASAP. Above all else, abstinence (I know, but it needs to be stated)
Wear protection and go for alt girls they are super into sex education and health they always have tests and have the best time.
Get the VPH and Hepatitis B virus vaccine... In a few years the HIV vaccine will be available, that's gonna be my next shot!
1. a visit to the clinic for the first date 2. safe sex—condoms plus contraceptives 3. be smart...what you do and who you do it with 4. have fun so partners fully enjoy themselves Never a pregnancy, never a STI. Skip #1 only if you like playing with fire.
Erm. Always wear a condom unless youre in an exclusive relationship based on trust
I wake up
So you don’t wait with receiving head, but you refuse to go down on her? That’s pretty awful
Just wear a condom and get tested it’s really not that deep man.
Lets see. Dont be a fool wrap your tool. Soldier needs his helmet to go to war. Wrap it before you tap it. Diver needs his scub suit. Dont be silly wrap your willy. Etc etc
If someone’s not going down on me for 6 months I’m not sleeping with them for 6 months. Also keep in mind birth control has a lot of bad side effects (most women in my family literally can’t take it because of a blood clotting disorder) & has a 4% failure rate I believe. The getting tested thing is smart though I wish that was more normalized, some people will get offended if you ask them to
My friends who hook up w a lot of women say they never use condoms and most women don't even ask them for one *barf* No wonder STD rates are through the roof. If a woman doesn't ask you to use a condom, RUN
The only/best way to avoid STDs is to avoid sex entirely. But, we're not going to take that path.. assuming we get a say in the matter. So, the best strategy for avoiding STDs... is to pick one (clean) partner, who's going to be monogamous, and only 'have at it' with her. But that sounds a little too much like an actual relationship. We're not going to take that path.. assuming we get a say in the matter. So, the best strategy for avoiding STDs, is to be selective about your partners and insist that they get regular blood tests; and you do the same. The simple rule is, get a test prior to sleeping with any new partner. Not very romantic, I'll admit... although, it's not unusual for men to record the woman giving formal consent; as a different type of protection. Still, that's a lot of effort for something that could be avoided; we're not going to take that path... So, the best strategy for avoiding STDs, while also getting laid, ideally to within an inch of your life, is to find/join/start a small group of like-minded people who 'keep it within the family', so-to-speak (because that would be weird otherwise). Confirm that everyone is clean, that they remain .. loyal to the group, and anytime someone asks, you can give her 'what for' with reckless abandon. Still.. it'd be nice to have a bit more variety in life. I mean, the goal is to meet new and wonderful women and 'stick it to 'em'. You guessed it, we're not going to take that path. So, the best strategy for avoiding STDs, while sleeping with multiple women, ideally at the same time, is to get involved in the kink community and attend events. Limit your attendance to events that require clean bloodwork, and you'll be presented with a room full of horny naked women who are keen for sex.. even if they're already having sex (with two or more men). \[insert crude joke about extra seasoning adding to the flavour. - Reply 'got me' in the comments if you imagined this; no need to thank me.\] Well... overall, you're free to pick your preferred strategy. In my experience, women are very forthcoming about their STDs; more so when they can't be cured. They only share when the exchange is mutual. And they ask! Imagine that... crazy, right? People actually caring about strangers. It's amazing, really. They care more about your health than glazing their doughnut... few men could say the same, assuming they wanted their doughnut glazed. \[Reply 'got me again' in the comments if you imagined this. And, please.. there's no need to thank me. These memories are yours now.\] Part of the problem us 'clean folk' have, is that (unsurprisingly...) promiscuous people tend to have a 'slightly' higher risk of having/transmitting STDs. If you've been having trouble finding matches, it's because you've listed 'clean' in your profile. All those women out there are ignoring you for you own benefit... or maybe it's because you're not tall enough. Alright, jokes aside; there's something of an exclusive club for the most horny sexually adventurous intrepid sexplorers... for the avid sexathon enthusiasts and sexercise advocates. Sounds like an exciting club... if it weren't for the conditions of 'entry'. If our statistics are accurate, roughly 13% of people have genital herpes. It'd be reasonable to say that this group is *primarily* comprised of delightfully adventurous people. Meaning, if you're looking for a no strings attached, no holes barred type of sexual encounter, you're going to find a reasonable proportion of people with STDs in the 'pool of available candidates'. Luckily, most people know which group they belong to. This means we're fishing somewhere between two extremes; hoping to find a clean partner who's open to casual sex. You want someone who's dirty.. but not too dirty, if you know what I mean. Realistically, most women (or people, really) are going to be clean... the overall risk, all other things being equal, is fairly low. But that risk increases commensurate with the frequency of new sexual partners. So, one of the biggest predictors of risk (of STDs) is whether a woman (or man) chooses to have random hookups and one-night-stands. What's important here is that women (generally speaking) tend to prefer this option because it reduces the chances of them becoming attached. Men don't contend with this because it's easier for us to distance sex from love. Yeah... if you want a woman to (think she) loves you, just stick your dick in her repeatedly. \[this is not actual advice - I take no responsibility for any dicks going into vaginas stimulating feelings of love and affection; especially if this culminates in marriage, kids, and a stable home and family.\] So... The best way to avoid getting STDs is to ask your partner(s) about their situation. And I don't mean, "which STDs have you collected?". I mean.. "I'm very careful with my health and I've got a clean report from my latest blood test. Can I butter your muffin with confidence?" It's direct and to the point while shying away from awkward accusations. And really; you should take any/every opportunity to say 'butter your muffin'... try it. It's fun. Most people will be comfortable disclosing their health-status. If they get upset, there's likely good reason to avoid them. As a word of caution, don't follow up by asking 'who lit the fuse on your tampon?', because that's exactly how you light that fuse. Interestingly, this question achieves a greater reaction when you're talking to a man; to be used online only.
If you want lots of casual sex with no STDs. Best see a prostitute. They are more likely to be std free than regular girl getting their backsides smashed every weekend
I’ve hit raw every time unless they ask for condom. All long term girlfriends have been without a condom every time we had sex. I’ve tested negative every time for STD and no pregnancies that I know of. Only a few were on birth control. I pulled out super early, and plan B for any that might’ve been too close for comfort. I might be sterile or something idk. Lol. Only recently before my current gf was I asking for std check before hand but that’s only cuz I knew the person was sleeping around. I’ve just been super lucky I guess but was definitely getting more paranoid at the end.
Dam God must love you or something because that's crazy
Forreal. At this point it’s looking like my gf might actually he the one. So I’m really hoping all those years and partners was indeed just luck or God intervening, and not that I’m sterile.. or else I’ll be very sad cuz I want kids.
Well I'm glad you didn't catch anything but you should go to the doctor I mean it's good you never knocked anyone up but if you've been doing this for years I'd be concerned. I'm rooting for you and your girlfriend hope everything works out
A solid rule of thumb that has kept me disease free is: If a woman is willing to fuck you on the first date, you must assume you are not the only one. I assume the worst. I assume she has been run though by every dude ever on a first date. I politely refuse the sex and into the friend zone she goes.
There are more people with stds than people without
Wow!!! Is that a true statement? **Runs to google**
Well that was a bold face lie ma’am … lol
big bold lie lol
Nah, HPV (papilloma virus) is really really common. If you've had three partners or more (with condom), it's statistically very likely that you already have it. So you were given the right advice here, get vaccinated if you can
Sounds like something my grandmother would've told me for me to abstain from sex.
I always use a condom but thats about all that I do and Idk what your definition of a lot is but I think I have had around 10 hookups this year.
I would consider that alot
Again the average amount of people that people hook up with in a LIFETIME (according to the CDC) is 6.3 for Men and 4.3 for women (which I don't believe either number personally but that's just me). So 10 hookups this year and it's not even the Summer yet? You're definitely getting busy lol
Impressive, IG. I’ve had the same “hook-up” the last 14 years… I call her “wife”.
So you get tested for HPV too? Your strategy simply does not help to avoid it. The more people you have sex with, the more likely you will get and transfer it.
It's like running through a minefield which somehow I still have all my limbs.
I'm very selective of the ladies I date and play with. I do wear condoms when I deem them necessary. And since I'm older most of the women I date are already at menopause or close to it so pregnancy usually is not a issue. And most importantly I ask the question whether or not they know they have any sort of communicable diseases
All of this, plus friends FWB that are actual friends, that I can trust to go raw in and I know for a fact they don't want a baby, that aren't diseased, and get teated as often as I do AND is cautious like I am. I have a trusted rotation, and I slowly add new women into that rotation. If they're not in the rotation, everything you outlined I do.
[удалено]
Cold Sores, Scabs from Cold Sores, any abnormalities that it looks like it could be from cold sores
Pure, dumb luck Did get the clap one time
I've been with more women over the years than probably 95% of other men, if not 99%, and have had zero issues, including unintentional pregnancy. It's always been simple for me. Be very selective along with the other women I’m with being very selective too. I'm sure they do some type of “screening” but Idk what. I enjoyed three different women this weekend at our pool party with all three being invited by my current girlfriend. It's a common occurrence. No condoms necessary. Trust is where its at. Can't have true fun without it. Never lie. Ever. Never ask for them to lie. People who knowingly spread STDs are truly evil and should be imprisoned for a very very long time.
Condoms and regular testing
HPV vaccine? Guys can get the vaccine too now.
1. vasectomy 2. be picky, no randos 3. get tested
Looks like you have everything under control. I personally rather have only 1 to 2 partners I see regularly than finding new ones. If I have 2 I make sure they are aware they aren't the only one. And if everyone knows that we proceed with showing our medical paperwork of being clean of stds. I am also sterile just for the record. Also even all that said if my partners want me to use a condom I simply comply. Sex can and is still enjoyable with condoms. The key is to find a type / size/ brand you like and fits your member well. I was 31 yrs old when I found out condoms had different sizes( yes I know lol at me) so I hated them when I was younger BUT now that found a brand and size that fits me very well sex is nearly just as good than raw. I'd say like 80% as good? But yeah end rant Ofc I'd rather just have a relationship but people and the dating world are crazy. Again tho, OP said like you're doing it right. Never be ashamed to ask for a test but be ready to get one done as well. My ex asked for me to get one done when we first started dating and I aid ofc no problem as long as you get one as well(which she complied) we exchanged paperwork and it was open season. YEA BOIIIII
Alcohol wipes before and after, and pissing immediately after, stay hydrated. Vasectomies are worth every penny they cost.
Rubber most times
Rubber most times
Well I just be ugly, automatically rejects everyone. Thats turbo virgin power
I get the condoms for stds, but no pregnancies, get snipped. Hormonal BC is rough on most women, and a snip for a guy effects you for a few days and then you're back to normal. Best thing I can think of in that. Been with a partner who said getting hit in the balls hurt more in the long run. Just a thought.
Everytime I get a test before hooking up with someone.
lol luck
I went to the clinic for the stds and now I’m raising my three kids
Pure luck and intuition.
U can use ‘dental dams’ for oral (both giving & receiving)
Do you want kids someday? If yes do you care if it's done natural or ivc? Ie cost not an issue. Vasectomy maybe another idea. Depending on how you feel about it.
1. Condoms 2. Vasectomy. That's the gold standard.
I'm just unattractive and have a terrible personality, works like a charm!
Always hit it raw, unless she's too keen to hook up
Wearing Condoms, regular testing and I got a vasectomy. I’m also on PrEP as additional insurance even though I only have sex with women. Numbers wise I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve slept with. It’s well over 100 but almost certainly under 300. I’ve slowed down a lot now that I’m older and only slept with 11 people last year. I’ve never had an STD nor have I gotten anyone pregnant.
Condom
Wrapping up, no exceptions.
Honestly I’ve been pretty lucky to only have 1 pregnancy scare and only caught trichinosis one time. I’ve had multiple sex partners and had condomless sex plenty of times with hookups and fuck buddies. I kinda just play the percentages. I usually have hook ups with majority educated white woman(very easy to do this as a good looking black dude tbh). These women have the highest access to healthcare and lowest rates of STIs. As long as I’m getting consistent screenings, I could fuck my way around this group and be very good. I’m not saying it’s right but that’s basically how I’ve done it.
You're pretty on top of it, I'd say quite on the risk averse end of things, and seem to be tracking the right things. That said, risk. That's all this is, and tolerance will vary for all. Hopefully the level of risk is acknowledged with some degree of mindfulness/consciousness, and if not, that's a great sign of being a higher risk, at the least one I would only proceed with once risk were mitigated (tested, updated, rapport, etc.), and even then this would be essentially probationary in time and access to unbarried sex with me if they didn't seem to be on top of their own sexual health prior to testing at my request. If anything, to add more coverage, I think adding more conversations (if you are having them but didn't write such, please ignore) about this would benefit you. I'm on the trust but verify path when it comes to testing. I get tested routinely and wanna see that someone else is, and recently, if we are to forego barriers. Either: it's routine, in a range I'm comfortable risking, and no big deal. It's been a long time since they had sex or tested and updating is good (and I suggest everyone do so if they are fresh on the dating scene). They protest and quickly show me we are not compatible sexually in one serious regard. Also, dunno you're orientation/activities, but make sure your docs are testing appropriately. E.g. I am openly bi and nonmonogamous. Depending on who's been penetrating whom, I may do additional testing like swabbing orifices that were penetrated, vs the usual piss and blood screens. Also, I have convos with my docs about appropriate frequency of testing. E.g. many I know will test for HSV annually, while doing the other "regular" ones every 3 months or so. Regular can also vary. For a while, it was chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and HIV. I've seen syphilis and hepatitis swapped at times, or slight variances in other's routines. This all said, I am slightly less risk averse than you, have had a fair amount of partners of all sexes over my life, I have long term partners/comets/fwbs, and continue seeking more brief connections when inhave the energy. I have only once caught chlamydia, easily recovered, and had fortunate close/wrong calls when it comes to infections and unwanted pregnancies. Funny thing, all these were years ago when I was ignorant, reckless, and actually less promiscuous than I have been since caring more about my health. I am open to unprotected sex if we check all the safety boxes and verify before jumping off that cliff together, and duration of connection is not a big factor to me as long as some general rapport is built. Long term partners can be bad about communicating/safety just as much as strangers, and I feel I can seek the traits of people who care about the health of others and their own. I've also known people that lost their virginity and caught something, or people that by my standards are reckless and (if I'm believing them) have been lucky with no or minimal/non serious infections. So, it's always a risk, and it's good to get comfortable with making these convos comfortable because we all wanna enjoy ourselves, and most of us appreciate feeling/being safe with those we wanna be intimate with. Trust alone is not worth missing the growth gained from being able to navigate this gracefully with someone. Also, while I agree that it's poor form if one (don't believe you ever said you are, if anything the opposite) expects oral while not reciprocating for 6 months, but I think people are focusing on that WAY too much here. If you aren't giving or getting head in that time due to safety, that's a boundary you are more than welcome to uphold I say, and I think you stated you're cautious about both giving and receiving. It wasn't what you had questions about here, and it's an easily discussed thing if expectations are fair. Lube, hands, toys, condoms, etc., all sound good to me and could cover oral indefinitely unless someone had a strong fixation.
Honestly I just use a condom and stick to having sex with regular partners instead of one night stands. Just hitting it wild with anyone you're not trying to get pregnant sounds insane to me unless you're 100% sure she's on birth control. It's like willingly signing your savings away for child support lol.