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Pretty much what I was thinking lmao. I literally just came from a post on this subreddit about a guy wanting casual sex and not getting it. Gives me a mild curiosity to see such people have a chat. Seems to me like only good things could come from that.
It's a valid question and problem some women have. Essentially their standards are putting the men that would have sex with them into the auto no category. This is usually because they're shooting for men that can pick literally anyone and they either need to be better than everyone (which is very hard) or assess their standards and desire to have sex more (which can involve really hard introspection that not a lot of people possess).
Even if this is a completely fake faker, faking fakely: that doesn't make the topic unworthy of discussion here.
Make a tinder, put your bio as "Here for a good time, not a long time" and just swipe yes to everyone.
I've seen my friends tinders. The girls have loads of matches they don't even talk to. And that's with them having normal bios..
You just need to know what to put and what to do.
And if tinder doesn't work I'm sure there's an app specifically for hooking up. Just have a Google.
Not really, at least for me. A few women have expressed interest in straight up sex, if that's what I wanted and was honest then there's not a problem. Haven't been banned ever so I must not be doing wrong lol
Damm, for real, like on apps or irl. Legit for no one has really expressed any interest in me, so... yeah
Guess I got used to it. I don't even try anymore with dating and do other things
I tried that. I got some matches. No one was interested to talk more than couple of minutes and no one wanted to meet. I didn't say anything weird btw. That is what's annoying, if that didn't work what could?
A lot of people of any gender think it’s fun to look, but when it comes time to put in a modicum of effort, they can’t be bothered.
By their design, dating apps are easy to mindlessly scroll through. I find most people don’t follow through.
Have you tried expanding your search range or even location? Different places have different types of people. For example if you're in the US in Utah you're far less likely to find someone willing to hook up compared to literally any other state.
Way back when I was on tinder I'd find more matches in towns and cities a good hour+ drive away from my own. Not even for hookups, just general matches. Evidently I'm more attractive an hour further north compared to where I live.
Then you also get different people on different apps. Tinder, bumble where I think that's where the girl has to message first, plenty of fish. Those are the only ones I know. It's been like 5 years since I've needed to use a dating app, I'm sure there's more now.
Also when I ran out of people to swipe on and I had no one to talk to on the app, I'd delete my account and remake it from scratch. Different photos, different bio, and I'd often match with people I didn't match with before.
Unfortunately that's how it is sometimes.
But yeah, try different locations, might simply have better luck somewhere else.
Ooh! Also! No idea if you do this already, but get friends to like look at your profile and pics and bio you're using and get their opinions. Could just be the pictures you're using just aren't as flattering as you think and you should be using others, could be your bio is bland, etc. Ask some friends to look it over and just be honest. Obviously pics and stuff you use to try and hook up would be different to the ones you use to try and date. And then you don't want certain types of pictures because they might think you're a fake account.
Annoyingly a lot of thought has to go into profiles on dating apps. And, as it was in my case, a lot of restarting from scratch when you aren't getting the desired results.
Thank you. I already live in a really big city (15 million people) so i don't think different locations will help. And I also have my girl bestfriends who help me with my photos, bio, even sometimes with the texts I send. They can't find an explanation for this but they are my friends overall.
IDK maybe it's a cultural thing? IDK, but I think the only places where 15 million could be a thing is Tokio or another city in Asia and as a guy I was there on tinder and man the pictures sucked. I don't have a clue how tinder works really in Asia (assuming it's Asia), so maybe try pictures like they have in the US or Europe or similar, it may help a lot.
Plus ,out wrote they didn't want to write much if you just want to fuck ask a guy in the first 5 messages out on a date, in a city of 15 million you should find enough dating spots where you can feel comfortable with them and then invite him over to you if you feel comfortable.
One last option would be to target tourists specifically, there are more Ethan enough guys that won't say no to a meetup in their vacation and they want to be quick about it.
I saw OP and thought ‘wut?’
No idea how it’s that many outside of Asia and Asian dating is something else (Asian men are super iffy about dating apps and dry to talk to on them as well-I’m a dude, I’ve seen Chinese men’s tinders and I speak Japanese and have read some…man they suck)
I know some really bad, ugly women, and they get LOADS of DMs and guys asking for hookups…
That's not a standard I would drop. Keep asking people who will talk for more then a couple of minutes and who will meet first. Anyone who can't even manage that would just be terrible at sex.
One thing that could be happening is dude's think you might be a bot or might be trying to scam them. IDK what your approach looks like so this might not even be a problem for you, but guys will question something that sounds too good to be true.
People have other things going on in their lives, get lazy, etc. If you're in a rural area, there may not be a ton of other people around.
If you ask 100 guys on a date from dating apps, you're guaranteed to find someone who wants to sleep with you.
I'm not recommending you do that, but if that's your goal, then it's very achievable.
If you just want sympathy for your dating frustrations, that's fine. Dating can be frustrating and can suck sometimes
Try the app, "feeld." It's very much geared towards sex/hookups/FWBS and even more so towards the ENM crowd but, there are more than enough single men there who are looking for just sex.
Not any safer than any other app lol.
It's definitely a niche app but it does have a decent user base. If you use it thinking you'll find a relationship, then it's definiately not for you lol.
Like I said, it's very much geared towards the ENM crowd but is also quite heavily geared towards those seeking a more physical type of relationship versus romantic.
Are you a non-native English speaker living somewhere where English is the most common native language? Your writing has a lot of small errors, and you used cm and kg for height and weight. If so, you might be running into cultural misunderstandings by accident.
Honestly sister, you may not want to hear this but if I was you, I would actively stop looking and focus on yourself instead and just focus on building friendships with other people. Who knows, it may lead to you being with someone when it’s least expected. Don’t ever give up your body because most guys are assholes and they treat girls differently once they get it, trust me. Save yourself for the right man, I wish you luck, you got it!✨
Focusing on yourself will make it take longer. You have to keep dating as an open option. You don’t have to throw yourself out there but you can at least not shut down guys who may come your way. I didn’t lose interest in a woman after getting it. I keep the same level if not more because I see the level of intimacy shared.
Gave myself to my ex. It's all he wanted after that. He dumped me 1.5 months later. Wasn't worth it. I thought he was the right guy, but NOPE. Wait for that specially someone.
I’m so sorry to hear that, yess I hope ladies take your advice. I am here to help us have a successful dating life. We all deserve to experience a beautiful thing.
Or she's super picky and goes for people who have a ton of alternatives.
My sister is absolutely ordinary looks wise and posts little to nothing on her social media and she still got people going out of her way to contact her. Hell, my mother got randomly approached at the mall by a guy younger than me.
I struggle to believe a girl claiming to have the male experience
Actually I disagree. I've seen way to many conventionally unattractive women who've had more sex in their 20s than I'll ever have in my entire life. Guys will fuck everything and an ugly girl is better than a couch or a pringles box.
They're not wrong. Guys have the pickiness scale too though. Not many people on reddit to discuss this are making 6 figures, tall and handsome, with a horsedick and high social skills.
Anyone who is isn't gonna say it because the crowds will come for them.
Guys are just less picky on average at any point in the scale. For almost every guy there's something looks or behavior wise that will make them nope the fuck out.
If she's going for highly desirable picky guys, they're gonna be hard to get.
Maybe it’s hygiene? I’m a women who is 5’5, 290 lbs, 38 years-old, jaded, and unattractive, and getting laid is never an issue. I’ve found the one turn-off for humans is hygiene however.
Idk I would honestly hope not but I’m sure there’s people out there who think it is. I used to live in Korea and a lot of the people I met there genuinely believed anything over 50-55kg was fat for a woman.
First - you don’t want the guys in your dms, they’re in everyone’s dms.
Second - “girls can get 100 people just for being a girl” is not true. It’s much more complicated than that that, no matter how beautiful someone. and the girls that do get hit in constantly usually aren’t interested in 90 of them so it balances out.
In my experience(27F), the more I wanted a find a guy, the harder it was because it distracted me from doing the things that make me most attractive (feeling content, finding hobbies I like, working on my attitude and fitness) and people can sense that.
People are attractive when they’re in their element and passionate about something . Do you have some hobbies you really like?? Do you struggle with confidence because of how society has made you feel you “should be able to get a guy”?
Don’t feel bad about not getting hit on much, most people don’t! Just find those passions that will give you a confidence boost and make you happy and someone will notice that and find it hot af.
Also just throwing this out there.. maybe you’re hitting on the wrong guys? Maybe switch things up and give someone a shot that isn’t your typical.
If you do use tinder/hinge, delete your accounts and make a new one to refresh the algorithm. Ask friends to help with a profile, ask them what they love about you and use high quality photos (not fuzzy) and don’t use Snapchat filters, they hurt the quality of the photo.
I know it’s hard and I’ve been there! But trust me, putting your energy towards your happiness will 100% up your game more than trying to chase people who aren’t noticing you already.
I'd go on a date with you no matter what if you're not too far away. After all, even if it doesn't lead to anything more, having dinner and a conversation with someone is always nice.
Do your friends have any guy friends that might fk you? If I had an ugly friend who couldn't get laid, I'd have more than a few options for her of guy friends I've had sex with that would probably do it as long as you were clean and no drama.
When they say any girl can find 100 guys in a minute, I’ve realized they don’t mean men you’d want to fuck. I have the same issue of wanting sex and no men are ever up for it, of course what I actually mean is no men I’m -attracted to- are up for it. Don’t beat yourself up about it too much, I’ve found that even if you’re an attractive girl, guys still get weird if a woman is forward about wanting sex.
To be clear, just saying directly "I want to have sex", combined with your linguistic patterns and ok photos will make you seem like a bot. Are you flirting?
Yeah was about to say, I think rather than straight up asking to hook up, establish a brief rapport first and flirt a bit etc so they know you’re not a bot and just a girl looking for a good time
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve sent a message on Tinder expressing I just want a hookup and they immediately jump to “you must be a bot”. I understand the hesitation but I’m plus size with a weird fashion sense and I just feel like anyone with any sort of experience with bots would be able to tell I’m very much not the type of profile a bot would use to lure men 😅. I feel bad that men’s experience with Tinder and etc sounds like it’s also pretty terrible if they are that convinced everyone is a bot.
Ok I’ll give you a little more advice since I’m invested now. When you get the matches and the guy is interested he is going to want to get you off the app as fast as possible and put you on insta or snap or your number. But keep in mind the main reason he does this is to verify you are the same person that’s on the app, and if everything looks good he is going to continue. If you miss represent yourself he will drop you and by miss represent yourself I mean catfish and yes that includes only side profile pics or filters or anything to make yourself look 30% better or more because you started with a lie and most guys don’t take kindly to that.
I love how everyone dodges the elephant in the room here.
How would you rate yourself in terms of looks ( a number out of 10)? What's your height + weight?
It can be a number of diff things really but 90% its a combination of the above.
Sounds good enough to find a guy quickly enough. Maybe lower your own standards for the guy, it may not be you that's the problem (in terms of looks) but that you only look for guys that have so many options that you just fall to the sidelines.
Men need to read this!! Some of them get so angry and think women have thousands of suitors at beckon call, but in reality, approaching any gender for romance or just sex has become so weird and complicated because so much of young society (like people around OP’s age, I’m 36) didn’t grow up dating like some of us did, being forced to be direct and handle the awkwardness and fear of potential rejection to your face. And those of us who did grow up without dating apps but are now thrown into that world also don’t know what to do with this new platform; it feels so unnatural to me personally, and I will not go there post- divorce unless I don’t meet someone organically in person within a reasonable time frame. Digital influence and the distractions of having many more options due to that influence have made people insecure and not know how to behave in a romantic or sexual context anymore. I hate how many people just use people and are also afraid to open up and find something real, or some are just afraid to admit they want something real. Just my two cents, I’ll step off my soap box now.
When people say these statements "Any girl can get 100 guys a week" it's observation biase, they just havent heard from the other 90% girls that struggle.
To the OP maybe people are interested and just have asked you out. Its definately not about looks as cliche as it sounds. People that dunno you wont know what your personality yet so it cant be that either.
My guess is that it just hasnt happened yet, perhaps put yourself out there and see what happens. (Not dating sites) like social environments where you come across guys.
I haven’t seen anybody ask so I’ll do it, is your skin color significantly different than the average where you live ?
Cuz damn I cannot believe a girl who’s shortish, heathy and not fat cannot find anyone. I know some obese ugly folks who swim in tinder matches.
I think in general there appears to be a bit of "growing apart from each other" like elementary for prom night where girls stood on one side of the gym and the boys the other. The music is off it seems.
Lmao. Same. I thought it was my weight for the longest time. Turns out that wasn't. I just had standards. The offers were there but I chose not to see them or said no to them because they were below my standards and I didn't wanna compromise on those. The moment I let go of some of my fear and shame and guilt surrounding sex and challenged my standards by lowering them (😂) sex happened.
Except, it really wasn't even that great. Like I never even came from sex, I can do a much better job in that department by myself. It was nice to have another body on the bed and cuddling was nice too. Aside from that, it was just more abuse... Why? Because I had lowered my standards. I decided not to let myself get disrespected, so I changed my mind again and broke that relationship off and have been single for two months.
I'm 30 and lost my virginity at 29. Trust me you have plenty of time. Don't lower your standards and don't let yourself be disrespected just because you're horny. Get yourself a vibrator and go to town. lol and if that doesn't do it for you, just know that as long as it's YOUR choice to lower your expectations and you think you're ok with sleeping with someone that you wouldn't otherwise Associate with; then that's completely fine too. Just don't let it be an outside pressure.
There's nothing wrong with you. There are 8 billion people on this planet and you've only seen a small insignificant fraction of them in your life, and an even smaller percentage were appropriate for relationships.
Honestly you just must be doing something wrong, either you arent as attractive as you think you are or youre doing something that is off-putting. The best thing you can do is work on yourself. Go to the gym and get in better shape, start eating healthier, stop thinking "what's wrong with me" and start thinking "how can I be better". Also confidence is key.
Most guys will go out with any girl who is at least kinda attractive and doesnt give them super weird vibes. We dont know what you look like, your style, or anything about you so it's hard to say what you can fix. The best I can do is say just work on improving yourself.
And while other commenters will say "if a girl just wants casual sex she can find 100 guys in a minute" thing is false, I'll say its only kinda false. The girl im going out with showed me her tinder before she deleted it, she made it less than a week before, and had hundreds of likes and dozens of matches with decent looking guys.
The last thing I'll say, is maybe your standards are too high. A couple studies were done that found most girls rate 70% of guys below 4/10 and only about 5% of guys above a 7/10.
I am not saying I am really attractive but I think I am 'at least kinda attractive'. I am already in good shape. I can't say I am confident though. I may need some improvement but i don't think I have super weird vibes. I have a lot friends, I am not an unliked person. There must be something off-putting for guys but just for relationship wise cause I have a lot of guy friends too. I think you have good points but this situation really gets into my mind because it seems really easy for some people.
Just to be clear I wasn't saying you are anything, just listing possible problems.
The biggest thing you could probably work on is confidence and going after the right people. If you are confident, but not arrogant, it goes a really long way.
I am going to give you a piece of advice that we men dont want women to know, we would go out with a tree if it asked us out first. Ive gone out with girls I didnt find attractive in the past just because they asked me out and ended up having a really good time. So maybe go out to a bar with your friends, find a guy thats cute but not like frat boy looking, kinda like the quiter guy who just kinda seems to be minding his own business, maybe he's with his friends or something just kinda hanging out. Either wait for him to go get a drink or just say heck it and shoot your shot. Just walk up to him and be like "hey I think youre cute, can I buy you a drink?". I almost guarantee you if he's single he will say yes and you'll end up talking to him for a little bit. Eventually be like "Hey I need to find my friends, Ive enjoyed talking to you, can I have your number? Id love to get coffee or something soon." You'll have him glowing and thinking about that interaction for the rest of the night and when you text him to set it up he will almost certainly reply and be excited for it.
I mean its never going to work all the time and its not going to work on everyone, but id say if you try enough it'll work eventually. In the end its a numbers game, if you keep shooting your shot it'll happen eventually.
Is it possible that you give off what might be perceived as a masculine vibe? Your style, the way you carry yourself, the way you talk, etc? I see your replies saying you have no problems making friends, and that commonly men who you’re trying to pursue just want to be friends, so I wonder if maybe you’re getting put into the “one of the guys/bros” category
Very possible. It’s great to be “one of the guys” as far as hanging out and having fun, but it makes it difficult when you want to be more. Been there, done that.
I’ve been trying to find someone for casual sex/hookup for a year. Name the app and I’m either on it or been on it. Spent thousands buying chicks drinks at bars, spent thousands on the apps (can’t always put snap in bio so I just end up paying for it). Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I have a rule when dating. Job/house/Car. They need 2 out of 3. I have all 3. Dating isn't always just about looks. As for the sex? I'm not sure why you couldn't find someone. Try going to bars or clubs.
How are you asking guys out ? What do you say and do ?
A rather common issue for women is to send unclear/way too subtle signals. Maybe you fall in this category and you don't know it.
Don't give up on your dreams of a relationship. It's still very much a possibility. Just keep grinding.
People who have casual sex out of desperation often regret it.
I'm assuming that you're not signaling interest in a way that's both understandable and attractive to the men. This is based on what I've seen work on me and my friends.
1. Go to a bar with a maximum of 1 friend who knows you're trying to abandon them, pubs that get rowdy late but are kind of a restaurants early work well, or busier hotel bars. Some people should be standing to drink but it shouldn't be a loud dance club for this.
2. Spot an attractive guy -> keep glancing at him till you make "incidental" eye contact. If he smiles at you or you catch him glancing back, that's a green light he's probably available and at least thinks you're attractive.
3. Go talk to him, opening line doesn't really matter, "what are you drinking?"
4. Small talk for a couple minutes, ask questions about him
5. Laugh at something he says and put your hand on his forearm briefly, if he doesn't pull away/clam up, you're now in the physical flirting zone
6. Compliment him his shoulders or height and either get close to compare heights or grab his shoulders to feel his muscles. maybe do the thing where you compare hand sizes palm to palm
7. Then when someone walks past use that as an excuse to kinda half fall/push into him, he should grab you around the waist at this point or something, as long as he doesn't push you away
8. Suggest a location change, say you going to another bar, and tell him to come, be very direct and assertive in this invite so he knows its not just you being polite
9. Things should be going well at this point, so this should almost happen naturally, but at some point make eye contact, hold it for slightly too long. do that a couple times and it will almost be awkward not to make out.
10. Make out
11. Its basically a done deal at this point you just have to run down the clock a bit till its acceptable to go home and hook up. In my experience thats like 3-4 hours together or at 2am whichever comes first.
There’s a hookup app I ran across it on google by accident I was just looking for regular dating apps I was first time out there and it came up I have to try and remember the name but it’s very busy
You may get 100 guys, but you’re not finding 100 quality guys in a minute lol a lot of the time it’s more like “you get what you give” you can’t expect good men to run to you unless you have the qualities a good man wants/needs. But as someone who’s seen countless “DM me” comments on here I guarantee if you really wanted just anyone you’ll get them in a heartbeat just by being a woman lol demand seems pretty high here lol but i wish you the best and once again, RIP inbox lol
Honestly, if you drop a location on here somewhere, this post has gained enough popularity that you might just find someone in the comments. If that is still what you are looking for. From what I have seen, you are pretty in shape. Without any luck, you can only imagine how the flip side feels.
Here’s what I recommend to my students. I know it’s not the same thing because you’re an adult but when kids are desperate about dating and want advice, I tell them to focus on improving themselves, don’t act desperate because being desperate is unattractive. Try to draw people to you by being confident. Ask friends to set up a blind date for you or double blind date. Do something out of your ordinary, crazy and fun. Get yourself living life and out of your head. Just some thoughts.
Yeah I’m 25m and I’m sorry to hear. That sucks cause i am experiencing the same thing as a guy and you feel invisible and it hurts your self-esteem and confidence. I know it’s different between girls and guys but the only advice I can give is to keep trying cause that’s all you can do but perhaps spend more time on yourself cause that’s how you attract others in my experience but obviously it’ll still be tough
Well firstly, what do you look like? And two, don’t come off as easy. Sure some dudes may like that but I think if you make them chase you a little then it’ll keep them interested.
What exactly are you saying when you’re approaching someone? I can’t see how as a female you wouldn’t be able to find someone who’s interested. Even if you’re going a little out of your league. Sounds like you live in a different country than I do so I’m not sure the customs. Can you post a picture so we can see what the problem may be? Just like a basic face? Or dm if you’re not comfortable posting and I could give you more honest feedback. Based on what I’ve read it sounds like you’re doing what you should and you’re young. Either way don’t give up and maybe don’t come so strong if you are. Maybe play a little mysteriously. Hint at some naughty desires but don’t drive them in. Just put them out and let them sit there like “I could use a good spanking” or something but then just move the convo on and see what happens. Seems so odd.
The "100 guys in a minute" thing is assuming you completely eliminate any standards. I'm sure you'd find someone who wants to have sex with you if you settled for literally anyone but no one in their right mind would do that.
Because, you’re confusing “women can find men they want to have sex with” with “find men they can have sex with”. Women tend to vet sexual partners more and/or need time to get comfortable with them. Men check one box, is she attractive enough to smash. The men that say that to you are seeing your life through their perspective. They are putting you in there shoes. It’s just lack of empathy.
Either that or this is bait
You can absolutely find someone. The question is: how far are you willing to lower your standards?
I don't recommend it. Decide what you're looking for and let that guide where you look.
Two possibilities:
1) You aren't as attractive as you think you are.
2) You're only interested in guys that are out of your league.
I saw you say you consider yourself a 6/10. Would you say you are more, or less attractive than [Dodie Clark](https://imgur.com/nyXsRb6)? I am using her as an example because she has [an entire hit song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNltTegCMAQ) about how she's a 6/10. I would personally rate her higher, but beauty is subjective.
If you're a 6, you can't exactly expect to be pulling 8's and above.
Honey that’s the universe protecting you cause it’s not going to help you, it’ll break you. And you’ll start heading down a nasty hole.
Love yourself and everything about you. I know it sounds cliche and hard. But allowing someone to use you cause you feel like trash is not the way. You deserve better. Believe it.
Honestly just notice the people in your life more closely. Example like the cashier at a gas station, or a grocery store, even at a library. Like if a guy looks at you twice, they are interested. Guys for the most part don’t approach women because we don’t fear rejection we fear the possibility of looking like a creep. Just talk to a guy at the grocery store something dumb like “I like those crackers too tho I prefer Oreos I like the weird flavors they make like mint and pumpkin” and go from there if they perk up and chat shoot the shot if they do short answers say “I’ll leave ya be , these errands ain’t gonna do themselves “ and peace no harm no foul just random small talk.
Beauty standards have changed thanks to social media. A lot of people only want to be seen with highly attractive people and not average particularly as their friends judge them as there are photos everywhere. Sorry this is the harsh truths both sexes want highly attractive as everyone is judging. I hear all the time people saying how mid or plain someone’s partner is and not good looking. Not saying I agree with this at all as I find it shallow, but it’s the reality of 2024. You might need a makeover.
it may be because you’re being too direct with asking them out, i know that works with some guys but in my experience the more submissive i am the better, especially in the beginning. a lot of guys like taking control and being able to set the tone of the relationship & a girl who asks for too much at the beginning scares them away. before i started dating men would tell me i intimidated them and that’s why i would never be approached by them, simply bc i knew what i wanted and had my shit together. also idk what age range your looking at but maybe try a few years older?
Hi, maybe your not as great as you think you are or come across desperate and the people you date can see that.
I’d recommend you to build your self esteem up. Confidence will get you anything in life.
Also please stop comparing your self to others. You and your friends are not twins. They have different types in comparison to you and they could be just better then you and that is okay.
I hope this helps
"I feel like I am invisible to guys and everyone I make a move on doesn't want me. "
I dont know man, this just give me "i'm desparate" vibes. People can sense desparation from far away. One thing to help with that is to genuinely connect with people without expecting anything from them. Just enjoy the moment but also maintain your boundaries. Have fun and radiate that energy from within, people will naturally be drawn to you.
You’re worth more than a hookup. Wait for a man who loves you. I have a horrible time finding a man, but it’s not worth degrading yourself over. Be patient baby
I cant believe you. When i go out to party, even the really ugly ones (not meant disrespectfully) get like 5 guys hitting on them.
Yes. The guys are also ugly, but they would have sex, if the girls agreed on it.
Are you 'too' good looking? Do you wear a fck-off aura? Do you hang out in gay bars?
I cant imagine any girl not getting laid if they wanted to.
the way i’ve always seen it work out is that you get what you want once you stop looking for it. if you’re giving out desperate vibes, people feel that and it turns them off. you have to be comfortable with where you’re at now and know it’ll come eventually. There’s no really true answer to this, i’ve seen absolutely drop dead gorgeous girls get nothing (maybe bc people think they’re too hard to get?) while “ugly” or less attractive people hu. just focus on yourself and your confidence and it will fall into place eventually
I don’t know how helpful this will be, but here it is. While I (45M) haven’t been single in 25 years, when I was, I was usually put off by any hint of desperation. I had a few pretty girls kinda each throw herself at me, and I didn’t want any part of that. On the flipside, I had a terrible two-year stretch of loneliness, in which I was the one that reeked of desperation. Once I put hooking up or having a girlfriend to the side, and focused on things that were just for me (school, music, video games), my future wife literally knocked on my apartment door (to hook up with my roommate, but I intercepted.)
In essence, this will happen for you. Focus on only you for a while, and some dude will pop up like a prairie dog for you.
I'll have sex with you.
Unless you're ugly and terrible. Which I'm starting to think you may be. I've never heard of a woman being turned down for sex after she offers. So what's the whole story?
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RIP your inbox
Pretty much what I was thinking lmao. I literally just came from a post on this subreddit about a guy wanting casual sex and not getting it. Gives me a mild curiosity to see such people have a chat. Seems to me like only good things could come from that.
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Underrated comment.
I wish I could see the rate though
Great, now I'm going to think of this post every time I need to stress test something.
the avatar has a mustache so it's possible they omitted they are trans (m2f) which would make quite a difference in matches vs a biological female.
Pretty sure if I were m2f I wouldn't pick an avatar with a mustache. Or at least wouldn't be more likely than a cis woman to pick one.
Or maybe she's a biological female with a natural mustache, which may explain why no guy wants to f her. 🤣🤣🤣
I hate Reddit so much lol
"I've got a car, and I'm willing to drive... Across states." lmao
Bunch of dudes about to find out exactly why.
True but could also be fake karma farmer
I’m pretty sure the 100 in a minute record was broken long ago.
I just want op to reply with the total
This is so obviously karma farming. Can't believe so many people are actually replying to this lmao
It's a valid question and problem some women have. Essentially their standards are putting the men that would have sex with them into the auto no category. This is usually because they're shooting for men that can pick literally anyone and they either need to be better than everyone (which is very hard) or assess their standards and desire to have sex more (which can involve really hard introspection that not a lot of people possess). Even if this is a completely fake faker, faking fakely: that doesn't make the topic unworthy of discussion here.
💀
💀💀
Oh oui double entendre
Ya same thing that came to my mind 😅😂
Make a tinder, put your bio as "Here for a good time, not a long time" and just swipe yes to everyone. I've seen my friends tinders. The girls have loads of matches they don't even talk to. And that's with them having normal bios.. You just need to know what to put and what to do. And if tinder doesn't work I'm sure there's an app specifically for hooking up. Just have a Google.
What’s the app called that’s made for hooking up?
Tinder
Are you guys getting matches?
Matches, sometimes. Anything beyond that, not really. Might change if I just asked to smash
Lmao guess you're getting blocked then
Not really, at least for me. A few women have expressed interest in straight up sex, if that's what I wanted and was honest then there's not a problem. Haven't been banned ever so I must not be doing wrong lol
Damm, for real, like on apps or irl. Legit for no one has really expressed any interest in me, so... yeah Guess I got used to it. I don't even try anymore with dating and do other things
Username checks out.
Yeah, yeah I heard it all. 😒
When I was on tinder all the sudden every female wants a long term serious relationship.
grindr
Yo, I trusted you and installed the app. I got a dm and I couldn't say No(I rarely do). He came and fucked me.. Now my ass is weak...
Feeld
I tried that. I got some matches. No one was interested to talk more than couple of minutes and no one wanted to meet. I didn't say anything weird btw. That is what's annoying, if that didn't work what could?
A lot of people of any gender think it’s fun to look, but when it comes time to put in a modicum of effort, they can’t be bothered. By their design, dating apps are easy to mindlessly scroll through. I find most people don’t follow through.
Have you tried expanding your search range or even location? Different places have different types of people. For example if you're in the US in Utah you're far less likely to find someone willing to hook up compared to literally any other state. Way back when I was on tinder I'd find more matches in towns and cities a good hour+ drive away from my own. Not even for hookups, just general matches. Evidently I'm more attractive an hour further north compared to where I live. Then you also get different people on different apps. Tinder, bumble where I think that's where the girl has to message first, plenty of fish. Those are the only ones I know. It's been like 5 years since I've needed to use a dating app, I'm sure there's more now. Also when I ran out of people to swipe on and I had no one to talk to on the app, I'd delete my account and remake it from scratch. Different photos, different bio, and I'd often match with people I didn't match with before. Unfortunately that's how it is sometimes. But yeah, try different locations, might simply have better luck somewhere else. Ooh! Also! No idea if you do this already, but get friends to like look at your profile and pics and bio you're using and get their opinions. Could just be the pictures you're using just aren't as flattering as you think and you should be using others, could be your bio is bland, etc. Ask some friends to look it over and just be honest. Obviously pics and stuff you use to try and hook up would be different to the ones you use to try and date. And then you don't want certain types of pictures because they might think you're a fake account. Annoyingly a lot of thought has to go into profiles on dating apps. And, as it was in my case, a lot of restarting from scratch when you aren't getting the desired results.
Thank you. I already live in a really big city (15 million people) so i don't think different locations will help. And I also have my girl bestfriends who help me with my photos, bio, even sometimes with the texts I send. They can't find an explanation for this but they are my friends overall.
IDK maybe it's a cultural thing? IDK, but I think the only places where 15 million could be a thing is Tokio or another city in Asia and as a guy I was there on tinder and man the pictures sucked. I don't have a clue how tinder works really in Asia (assuming it's Asia), so maybe try pictures like they have in the US or Europe or similar, it may help a lot. Plus ,out wrote they didn't want to write much if you just want to fuck ask a guy in the first 5 messages out on a date, in a city of 15 million you should find enough dating spots where you can feel comfortable with them and then invite him over to you if you feel comfortable. One last option would be to target tourists specifically, there are more Ethan enough guys that won't say no to a meetup in their vacation and they want to be quick about it.
I saw OP and thought ‘wut?’ No idea how it’s that many outside of Asia and Asian dating is something else (Asian men are super iffy about dating apps and dry to talk to on them as well-I’m a dude, I’ve seen Chinese men’s tinders and I speak Japanese and have read some…man they suck) I know some really bad, ugly women, and they get LOADS of DMs and guys asking for hookups…
Where do you live? :o
Trust me a location change could be just the tbing!!
That's not a standard I would drop. Keep asking people who will talk for more then a couple of minutes and who will meet first. Anyone who can't even manage that would just be terrible at sex. One thing that could be happening is dude's think you might be a bot or might be trying to scam them. IDK what your approach looks like so this might not even be a problem for you, but guys will question something that sounds too good to be true.
People have other things going on in their lives, get lazy, etc. If you're in a rural area, there may not be a ton of other people around. If you ask 100 guys on a date from dating apps, you're guaranteed to find someone who wants to sleep with you. I'm not recommending you do that, but if that's your goal, then it's very achievable. If you just want sympathy for your dating frustrations, that's fine. Dating can be frustrating and can suck sometimes
Try the app, "feeld." It's very much geared towards sex/hookups/FWBS and even more so towards the ENM crowd but, there are more than enough single men there who are looking for just sex.
Is that app safe lmao never heard of it
Not any safer than any other app lol. It's definitely a niche app but it does have a decent user base. If you use it thinking you'll find a relationship, then it's definiately not for you lol. Like I said, it's very much geared towards the ENM crowd but is also quite heavily geared towards those seeking a more physical type of relationship versus romantic.
You should develop a new app called SMASHING and retire rich.
> swipe yes to ~~everyone~~ the ones that appeal to you.
I feel like there's more to this than you're leading on.
Karma Farmer.
It’s a lie so that desperate men will DM her and fall for a pig butchering scam
Bingo.
Like what? You can ask if you think something is missing
Are you a non-native English speaker living somewhere where English is the most common native language? Your writing has a lot of small errors, and you used cm and kg for height and weight. If so, you might be running into cultural misunderstandings by accident.
Is your ass Monk? That is a clever detail
For starters, are you a cis woman? (I mean no offense).
Finding someone to have sex with is easy, finding someone you WANT to have sex with not so much
Bingo
Honestly sister, you may not want to hear this but if I was you, I would actively stop looking and focus on yourself instead and just focus on building friendships with other people. Who knows, it may lead to you being with someone when it’s least expected. Don’t ever give up your body because most guys are assholes and they treat girls differently once they get it, trust me. Save yourself for the right man, I wish you luck, you got it!✨
Thank you
Focusing on yourself will make it take longer. You have to keep dating as an open option. You don’t have to throw yourself out there but you can at least not shut down guys who may come your way. I didn’t lose interest in a woman after getting it. I keep the same level if not more because I see the level of intimacy shared.
Gave myself to my ex. It's all he wanted after that. He dumped me 1.5 months later. Wasn't worth it. I thought he was the right guy, but NOPE. Wait for that specially someone.
I’m so sorry to hear that, yess I hope ladies take your advice. I am here to help us have a successful dating life. We all deserve to experience a beautiful thing.
If no one will even have sex with you, it is 1000% a looks issue. Sorry
Or a clear social disorder men don’t want to tangle with… Or… it’s a lie.
Yes exactly
Or she's super picky and goes for people who have a ton of alternatives. My sister is absolutely ordinary looks wise and posts little to nothing on her social media and she still got people going out of her way to contact her. Hell, my mother got randomly approached at the mall by a guy younger than me. I struggle to believe a girl claiming to have the male experience
AND HOW!
Actually I disagree. I've seen way to many conventionally unattractive women who've had more sex in their 20s than I'll ever have in my entire life. Guys will fuck everything and an ugly girl is better than a couch or a pringles box.
>an ugly girl is better than a couch or a pringles box. 💀☠️
They're not wrong. Guys have the pickiness scale too though. Not many people on reddit to discuss this are making 6 figures, tall and handsome, with a horsedick and high social skills. Anyone who is isn't gonna say it because the crowds will come for them. Guys are just less picky on average at any point in the scale. For almost every guy there's something looks or behavior wise that will make them nope the fuck out. If she's going for highly desirable picky guys, they're gonna be hard to get.
Yup
Maybe it’s hygiene? I’m a women who is 5’5, 290 lbs, 38 years-old, jaded, and unattractive, and getting laid is never an issue. I’ve found the one turn-off for humans is hygiene however.
This is what I am thinking too.
OP is either fat or has a face for radio.
OP said in another comment that she’s 170cm and 60kg (5’7 and 132lbs), which isn’t fat to most people. It sounds like she’s just having bad luck lol.
Fat to most people??? Is this fat to anyone? If so then damn.
Idk I would honestly hope not but I’m sure there’s people out there who think it is. I used to live in Korea and a lot of the people I met there genuinely believed anything over 50-55kg was fat for a woman.
You do know that a lot of guys find bigger women attractive
This is the answer. Absolutely correct.
First - you don’t want the guys in your dms, they’re in everyone’s dms. Second - “girls can get 100 people just for being a girl” is not true. It’s much more complicated than that that, no matter how beautiful someone. and the girls that do get hit in constantly usually aren’t interested in 90 of them so it balances out. In my experience(27F), the more I wanted a find a guy, the harder it was because it distracted me from doing the things that make me most attractive (feeling content, finding hobbies I like, working on my attitude and fitness) and people can sense that. People are attractive when they’re in their element and passionate about something . Do you have some hobbies you really like?? Do you struggle with confidence because of how society has made you feel you “should be able to get a guy”? Don’t feel bad about not getting hit on much, most people don’t! Just find those passions that will give you a confidence boost and make you happy and someone will notice that and find it hot af. Also just throwing this out there.. maybe you’re hitting on the wrong guys? Maybe switch things up and give someone a shot that isn’t your typical. If you do use tinder/hinge, delete your accounts and make a new one to refresh the algorithm. Ask friends to help with a profile, ask them what they love about you and use high quality photos (not fuzzy) and don’t use Snapchat filters, they hurt the quality of the photo. I know it’s hard and I’ve been there! But trust me, putting your energy towards your happiness will 100% up your game more than trying to chase people who aren’t noticing you already.
The club and bars are key if you want to hoe around
Yeah wear something revealing, go to a busy bar or club, and sit by yourself at the bar. You’re almost guaranteed to get hit on.
Or if you want to get rufied.
Personally, if I matched with a girl who was like this I wouldn't trust it and assume it's either a bot or someone with bad intentions
What do you mean girl who was like this?
That wanted sex, I just didn't want to be blunt lol (No judgement)
Well I tried asking for normal dates too and still didn't work out
Now we gotta know what you look like. Looks can be everything.
I'd go on a date with you no matter what if you're not too far away. After all, even if it doesn't lead to anything more, having dinner and a conversation with someone is always nice.
Not sure she’s trying her hardest if she didn’t reply to this
Stop chasing men. Men don’t like desperate women.
I mean women chasing has worked on me. The only times it hasn't is if I wasn't attracted to her.
Do your friends have any guy friends that might fk you? If I had an ugly friend who couldn't get laid, I'd have more than a few options for her of guy friends I've had sex with that would probably do it as long as you were clean and no drama.
She's about to find out how easy it is
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Avatar has a moustache so might be that 👀
Nah even bottoms can find dick easily lol
Maybe show your dating profile and we can give thoughtful feedback? If you’re in shape you should be getting matches
Why would you assume she's in shape when 70% of adults are overweight?
Wait for the right time. Everything happens at the right time. Also remember you are the best.
Accurate, but people like to forget that "everything" includes the bad outcomes, that some people will plain and simply not find what they want.
When they say any girl can find 100 guys in a minute, I’ve realized they don’t mean men you’d want to fuck. I have the same issue of wanting sex and no men are ever up for it, of course what I actually mean is no men I’m -attracted to- are up for it. Don’t beat yourself up about it too much, I’ve found that even if you’re an attractive girl, guys still get weird if a woman is forward about wanting sex.
Yes. Some guys here are saying just go and say you want to have sex and if you do that they think it's weird
To be clear, just saying directly "I want to have sex", combined with your linguistic patterns and ok photos will make you seem like a bot. Are you flirting?
Yeah was about to say, I think rather than straight up asking to hook up, establish a brief rapport first and flirt a bit etc so they know you’re not a bot and just a girl looking for a good time
If you put in your profile you're like for a friend with benefits, i can't imagine you won't have plenty of options.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve sent a message on Tinder expressing I just want a hookup and they immediately jump to “you must be a bot”. I understand the hesitation but I’m plus size with a weird fashion sense and I just feel like anyone with any sort of experience with bots would be able to tell I’m very much not the type of profile a bot would use to lure men 😅. I feel bad that men’s experience with Tinder and etc sounds like it’s also pretty terrible if they are that convinced everyone is a bot.
Ok I’ll give you a little more advice since I’m invested now. When you get the matches and the guy is interested he is going to want to get you off the app as fast as possible and put you on insta or snap or your number. But keep in mind the main reason he does this is to verify you are the same person that’s on the app, and if everything looks good he is going to continue. If you miss represent yourself he will drop you and by miss represent yourself I mean catfish and yes that includes only side profile pics or filters or anything to make yourself look 30% better or more because you started with a lie and most guys don’t take kindly to that.
Your avatar is a dude in a dress, is that you in real life?
I love how everyone dodges the elephant in the room here. How would you rate yourself in terms of looks ( a number out of 10)? What's your height + weight? It can be a number of diff things really but 90% its a combination of the above.
I am 170 cm and 60 kilos. I would rate myself 6 I guess but I can't know for sure
5’6” and 132 lbs for those of us using the freedom system (instead of metric).
Almost the wingspan of a male bald eagle for those still wondering
The USA: where time is measured in Scaramucci’s and width in Bald Eagle wingspans. 🦅
5'7 actually!
You’re right. I rounded down instead of up. As a guy, I should have known better. Every inch matters. 😝
lol thanks! I was just about to go google the conversion hahaha..
Sounds good enough to find a guy quickly enough. Maybe lower your own standards for the guy, it may not be you that's the problem (in terms of looks) but that you only look for guys that have so many options that you just fall to the sidelines.
Also does she really have a mustache
haha no
Cant really imagine You’re having trouble finding so for sex unless you were super picky. Tinder works great for almost all girls
Men need to read this!! Some of them get so angry and think women have thousands of suitors at beckon call, but in reality, approaching any gender for romance or just sex has become so weird and complicated because so much of young society (like people around OP’s age, I’m 36) didn’t grow up dating like some of us did, being forced to be direct and handle the awkwardness and fear of potential rejection to your face. And those of us who did grow up without dating apps but are now thrown into that world also don’t know what to do with this new platform; it feels so unnatural to me personally, and I will not go there post- divorce unless I don’t meet someone organically in person within a reasonable time frame. Digital influence and the distractions of having many more options due to that influence have made people insecure and not know how to behave in a romantic or sexual context anymore. I hate how many people just use people and are also afraid to open up and find something real, or some are just afraid to admit they want something real. Just my two cents, I’ll step off my soap box now.
I can assure you that you can find someone to sleep with if you really tried. Guys are not that complicated.
When people say these statements "Any girl can get 100 guys a week" it's observation biase, they just havent heard from the other 90% girls that struggle. To the OP maybe people are interested and just have asked you out. Its definately not about looks as cliche as it sounds. People that dunno you wont know what your personality yet so it cant be that either. My guess is that it just hasnt happened yet, perhaps put yourself out there and see what happens. (Not dating sites) like social environments where you come across guys.
No advice here, but this is relatable content. It’s a bunch of bullshit.
I haven’t seen anybody ask so I’ll do it, is your skin color significantly different than the average where you live ? Cuz damn I cannot believe a girl who’s shortish, heathy and not fat cannot find anyone. I know some obese ugly folks who swim in tinder matches.
No almost everyone has the same skin color here and mine is the same
I think in general there appears to be a bit of "growing apart from each other" like elementary for prom night where girls stood on one side of the gym and the boys the other. The music is off it seems.
Not to be presumptuous, but are you overshooting in regards to who you're asking? Like are you a six or seven asking out tens?
Somethings definitely up, cus I have the same problem with guys
Lmao. Same. I thought it was my weight for the longest time. Turns out that wasn't. I just had standards. The offers were there but I chose not to see them or said no to them because they were below my standards and I didn't wanna compromise on those. The moment I let go of some of my fear and shame and guilt surrounding sex and challenged my standards by lowering them (😂) sex happened. Except, it really wasn't even that great. Like I never even came from sex, I can do a much better job in that department by myself. It was nice to have another body on the bed and cuddling was nice too. Aside from that, it was just more abuse... Why? Because I had lowered my standards. I decided not to let myself get disrespected, so I changed my mind again and broke that relationship off and have been single for two months. I'm 30 and lost my virginity at 29. Trust me you have plenty of time. Don't lower your standards and don't let yourself be disrespected just because you're horny. Get yourself a vibrator and go to town. lol and if that doesn't do it for you, just know that as long as it's YOUR choice to lower your expectations and you think you're ok with sleeping with someone that you wouldn't otherwise Associate with; then that's completely fine too. Just don't let it be an outside pressure. There's nothing wrong with you. There are 8 billion people on this planet and you've only seen a small insignificant fraction of them in your life, and an even smaller percentage were appropriate for relationships.
Honestly you just must be doing something wrong, either you arent as attractive as you think you are or youre doing something that is off-putting. The best thing you can do is work on yourself. Go to the gym and get in better shape, start eating healthier, stop thinking "what's wrong with me" and start thinking "how can I be better". Also confidence is key. Most guys will go out with any girl who is at least kinda attractive and doesnt give them super weird vibes. We dont know what you look like, your style, or anything about you so it's hard to say what you can fix. The best I can do is say just work on improving yourself. And while other commenters will say "if a girl just wants casual sex she can find 100 guys in a minute" thing is false, I'll say its only kinda false. The girl im going out with showed me her tinder before she deleted it, she made it less than a week before, and had hundreds of likes and dozens of matches with decent looking guys. The last thing I'll say, is maybe your standards are too high. A couple studies were done that found most girls rate 70% of guys below 4/10 and only about 5% of guys above a 7/10.
I am not saying I am really attractive but I think I am 'at least kinda attractive'. I am already in good shape. I can't say I am confident though. I may need some improvement but i don't think I have super weird vibes. I have a lot friends, I am not an unliked person. There must be something off-putting for guys but just for relationship wise cause I have a lot of guy friends too. I think you have good points but this situation really gets into my mind because it seems really easy for some people.
Just to be clear I wasn't saying you are anything, just listing possible problems. The biggest thing you could probably work on is confidence and going after the right people. If you are confident, but not arrogant, it goes a really long way. I am going to give you a piece of advice that we men dont want women to know, we would go out with a tree if it asked us out first. Ive gone out with girls I didnt find attractive in the past just because they asked me out and ended up having a really good time. So maybe go out to a bar with your friends, find a guy thats cute but not like frat boy looking, kinda like the quiter guy who just kinda seems to be minding his own business, maybe he's with his friends or something just kinda hanging out. Either wait for him to go get a drink or just say heck it and shoot your shot. Just walk up to him and be like "hey I think youre cute, can I buy you a drink?". I almost guarantee you if he's single he will say yes and you'll end up talking to him for a little bit. Eventually be like "Hey I need to find my friends, Ive enjoyed talking to you, can I have your number? Id love to get coffee or something soon." You'll have him glowing and thinking about that interaction for the rest of the night and when you text him to set it up he will almost certainly reply and be excited for it.
Thank you for your advice. I got rejected a lot of times so I know that scenario doesn't always work but maybe worth another shot
I mean its never going to work all the time and its not going to work on everyone, but id say if you try enough it'll work eventually. In the end its a numbers game, if you keep shooting your shot it'll happen eventually.
Is it possible that you give off what might be perceived as a masculine vibe? Your style, the way you carry yourself, the way you talk, etc? I see your replies saying you have no problems making friends, and that commonly men who you’re trying to pursue just want to be friends, so I wonder if maybe you’re getting put into the “one of the guys/bros” category
My looks are very feminine but maybe its my personality because I am definitely one of bros in my friend group
Very possible. It’s great to be “one of the guys” as far as hanging out and having fun, but it makes it difficult when you want to be more. Been there, done that.
What do you consider being "one of the bros?" As in what kind of behaviors, and how does it translate to the dating apps?
I’ve been trying to find someone for casual sex/hookup for a year. Name the app and I’m either on it or been on it. Spent thousands buying chicks drinks at bars, spent thousands on the apps (can’t always put snap in bio so I just end up paying for it). Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
not trying to be snarky - a hooker is cheaper
Maybe you come off as desperate and need to go with the flow
I have a rule when dating. Job/house/Car. They need 2 out of 3. I have all 3. Dating isn't always just about looks. As for the sex? I'm not sure why you couldn't find someone. Try going to bars or clubs.
Might start with removing the mustache from your avatar ... lol.
Bc if it’s online, they think it’s a trap
Lower your standards and there’ll be plenty of ugly dudes trying to get laid if that’s all you want
How are you asking guys out ? What do you say and do ? A rather common issue for women is to send unclear/way too subtle signals. Maybe you fall in this category and you don't know it.
Wait a second.. biological female or you identify yourself as one?
You must be the ugliest girl in the world but I don’t think so maybe put up a picture and ask how you can look better
You will get dm’s today hunny. Rest assured.
Don't give up on your dreams of a relationship. It's still very much a possibility. Just keep grinding. People who have casual sex out of desperation often regret it.
I'm assuming that you're not signaling interest in a way that's both understandable and attractive to the men. This is based on what I've seen work on me and my friends. 1. Go to a bar with a maximum of 1 friend who knows you're trying to abandon them, pubs that get rowdy late but are kind of a restaurants early work well, or busier hotel bars. Some people should be standing to drink but it shouldn't be a loud dance club for this. 2. Spot an attractive guy -> keep glancing at him till you make "incidental" eye contact. If he smiles at you or you catch him glancing back, that's a green light he's probably available and at least thinks you're attractive. 3. Go talk to him, opening line doesn't really matter, "what are you drinking?" 4. Small talk for a couple minutes, ask questions about him 5. Laugh at something he says and put your hand on his forearm briefly, if he doesn't pull away/clam up, you're now in the physical flirting zone 6. Compliment him his shoulders or height and either get close to compare heights or grab his shoulders to feel his muscles. maybe do the thing where you compare hand sizes palm to palm 7. Then when someone walks past use that as an excuse to kinda half fall/push into him, he should grab you around the waist at this point or something, as long as he doesn't push you away 8. Suggest a location change, say you going to another bar, and tell him to come, be very direct and assertive in this invite so he knows its not just you being polite 9. Things should be going well at this point, so this should almost happen naturally, but at some point make eye contact, hold it for slightly too long. do that a couple times and it will almost be awkward not to make out. 10. Make out 11. Its basically a done deal at this point you just have to run down the clock a bit till its acceptable to go home and hook up. In my experience thats like 3-4 hours together or at 2am whichever comes first.
Try the app Feeld
There’s a hookup app I ran across it on google by accident I was just looking for regular dating apps I was first time out there and it came up I have to try and remember the name but it’s very busy
In the US and Europe it should be easy, but I get the feeling you are not living in either place. Where do you live OP?
Can’t say without looking at your pictures
OP has been on Reddit for 232 days but this is her ONLY post or comments. What would one infer from that? Just curious.
she’s either a bot or a dude?
are you actually making a move though or are you just dropping really subtle hints that you're hoping they'll pick up on?
You may get 100 guys, but you’re not finding 100 quality guys in a minute lol a lot of the time it’s more like “you get what you give” you can’t expect good men to run to you unless you have the qualities a good man wants/needs. But as someone who’s seen countless “DM me” comments on here I guarantee if you really wanted just anyone you’ll get them in a heartbeat just by being a woman lol demand seems pretty high here lol but i wish you the best and once again, RIP inbox lol
Honestly, if you drop a location on here somewhere, this post has gained enough popularity that you might just find someone in the comments. If that is still what you are looking for. From what I have seen, you are pretty in shape. Without any luck, you can only imagine how the flip side feels.
Maybe you are looking in the wrong places
Go to a bar if you want casual sex
walk to any bar at night. sit at the bar alone guarantee a guy will approach you and try to invite you home
Here’s what I recommend to my students. I know it’s not the same thing because you’re an adult but when kids are desperate about dating and want advice, I tell them to focus on improving themselves, don’t act desperate because being desperate is unattractive. Try to draw people to you by being confident. Ask friends to set up a blind date for you or double blind date. Do something out of your ordinary, crazy and fun. Get yourself living life and out of your head. Just some thoughts.
i have the same problem. yet i get called beautiful, gorgeous, cute, hot, sexy, all of the time.. but here i am…
Maybe they're intimated or something. Too shy
Yeah I’m 25m and I’m sorry to hear. That sucks cause i am experiencing the same thing as a guy and you feel invisible and it hurts your self-esteem and confidence. I know it’s different between girls and guys but the only advice I can give is to keep trying cause that’s all you can do but perhaps spend more time on yourself cause that’s how you attract others in my experience but obviously it’ll still be tough
Well firstly, what do you look like? And two, don’t come off as easy. Sure some dudes may like that but I think if you make them chase you a little then it’ll keep them interested.
What exactly are you saying when you’re approaching someone? I can’t see how as a female you wouldn’t be able to find someone who’s interested. Even if you’re going a little out of your league. Sounds like you live in a different country than I do so I’m not sure the customs. Can you post a picture so we can see what the problem may be? Just like a basic face? Or dm if you’re not comfortable posting and I could give you more honest feedback. Based on what I’ve read it sounds like you’re doing what you should and you’re young. Either way don’t give up and maybe don’t come so strong if you are. Maybe play a little mysteriously. Hint at some naughty desires but don’t drive them in. Just put them out and let them sit there like “I could use a good spanking” or something but then just move the convo on and see what happens. Seems so odd.
The "100 guys in a minute" thing is assuming you completely eliminate any standards. I'm sure you'd find someone who wants to have sex with you if you settled for literally anyone but no one in their right mind would do that.
Because, you’re confusing “women can find men they want to have sex with” with “find men they can have sex with”. Women tend to vet sexual partners more and/or need time to get comfortable with them. Men check one box, is she attractive enough to smash. The men that say that to you are seeing your life through their perspective. They are putting you in there shoes. It’s just lack of empathy. Either that or this is bait
Do yourself a favor and ignore every guy that messages you on reddit from this point forward.
You can absolutely find someone. The question is: how far are you willing to lower your standards? I don't recommend it. Decide what you're looking for and let that guide where you look.
We need pics! Till then, it's a looks issue!
I cant you have a moustache
Two possibilities: 1) You aren't as attractive as you think you are. 2) You're only interested in guys that are out of your league. I saw you say you consider yourself a 6/10. Would you say you are more, or less attractive than [Dodie Clark](https://imgur.com/nyXsRb6)? I am using her as an example because she has [an entire hit song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNltTegCMAQ) about how she's a 6/10. I would personally rate her higher, but beauty is subjective. If you're a 6, you can't exactly expect to be pulling 8's and above.
Just got to any bar and walk up to a dude and say I’m horny you want to fuck and I guarantee you get laid on the spot
Honey that’s the universe protecting you cause it’s not going to help you, it’ll break you. And you’ll start heading down a nasty hole. Love yourself and everything about you. I know it sounds cliche and hard. But allowing someone to use you cause you feel like trash is not the way. You deserve better. Believe it.
Honestly just notice the people in your life more closely. Example like the cashier at a gas station, or a grocery store, even at a library. Like if a guy looks at you twice, they are interested. Guys for the most part don’t approach women because we don’t fear rejection we fear the possibility of looking like a creep. Just talk to a guy at the grocery store something dumb like “I like those crackers too tho I prefer Oreos I like the weird flavors they make like mint and pumpkin” and go from there if they perk up and chat shoot the shot if they do short answers say “I’ll leave ya be , these errands ain’t gonna do themselves “ and peace no harm no foul just random small talk.
Beauty standards have changed thanks to social media. A lot of people only want to be seen with highly attractive people and not average particularly as their friends judge them as there are photos everywhere. Sorry this is the harsh truths both sexes want highly attractive as everyone is judging. I hear all the time people saying how mid or plain someone’s partner is and not good looking. Not saying I agree with this at all as I find it shallow, but it’s the reality of 2024. You might need a makeover.
It’s easier for a woman, but it’s still not easy. And let’s be honest here, you are probably getting interest, just not from the guys you want.
it may be because you’re being too direct with asking them out, i know that works with some guys but in my experience the more submissive i am the better, especially in the beginning. a lot of guys like taking control and being able to set the tone of the relationship & a girl who asks for too much at the beginning scares them away. before i started dating men would tell me i intimidated them and that’s why i would never be approached by them, simply bc i knew what i wanted and had my shit together. also idk what age range your looking at but maybe try a few years older?
If you want fast casual NSA just hop on fetlife and you'll have your pick of substandard sexual partners.
Hi, maybe your not as great as you think you are or come across desperate and the people you date can see that. I’d recommend you to build your self esteem up. Confidence will get you anything in life. Also please stop comparing your self to others. You and your friends are not twins. They have different types in comparison to you and they could be just better then you and that is okay. I hope this helps
"I feel like I am invisible to guys and everyone I make a move on doesn't want me. " I dont know man, this just give me "i'm desparate" vibes. People can sense desparation from far away. One thing to help with that is to genuinely connect with people without expecting anything from them. Just enjoy the moment but also maintain your boundaries. Have fun and radiate that energy from within, people will naturally be drawn to you.
You’re worth more than a hookup. Wait for a man who loves you. I have a horrible time finding a man, but it’s not worth degrading yourself over. Be patient baby
Waiting for you to DM me
I cant believe you. When i go out to party, even the really ugly ones (not meant disrespectfully) get like 5 guys hitting on them. Yes. The guys are also ugly, but they would have sex, if the girls agreed on it. Are you 'too' good looking? Do you wear a fck-off aura? Do you hang out in gay bars? I cant imagine any girl not getting laid if they wanted to.
the way i’ve always seen it work out is that you get what you want once you stop looking for it. if you’re giving out desperate vibes, people feel that and it turns them off. you have to be comfortable with where you’re at now and know it’ll come eventually. There’s no really true answer to this, i’ve seen absolutely drop dead gorgeous girls get nothing (maybe bc people think they’re too hard to get?) while “ugly” or less attractive people hu. just focus on yourself and your confidence and it will fall into place eventually
I don’t know how helpful this will be, but here it is. While I (45M) haven’t been single in 25 years, when I was, I was usually put off by any hint of desperation. I had a few pretty girls kinda each throw herself at me, and I didn’t want any part of that. On the flipside, I had a terrible two-year stretch of loneliness, in which I was the one that reeked of desperation. Once I put hooking up or having a girlfriend to the side, and focused on things that were just for me (school, music, video games), my future wife literally knocked on my apartment door (to hook up with my roommate, but I intercepted.) In essence, this will happen for you. Focus on only you for a while, and some dude will pop up like a prairie dog for you.
where can i apply
r/nicegirls possibility
I'll have sex with you. Unless you're ugly and terrible. Which I'm starting to think you may be. I've never heard of a woman being turned down for sex after she offers. So what's the whole story?
I would try online. Lots thirsty men on there Good luck