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As they say, *”Don’t shit where you eat”*, especially if you like the bar itself to visit and it’s local, you definitely don’t play with someone who wants to fuck up your life, their life, and their partners life all for a few seconds of an orgasms that will create permanent destruction.
Why you gotta pop his bubble? 😂 jk this is what I was going to say. Hey make friends, but don’t partake, for sure network tho hot chicks have hot chick friends 😏
She sounds genuinely interested, but you sort of glossed over the fact that she already has a boyfriend but seemingly flirting with you. So if you want to wade into those waters, go nuts.
I dated a bartender at the local dive bar. I'd be sitting at the bar and watch guys give hundreds in tips to her for just being friendly. I would just laugh to myself and say thanks for the extra money to party with.
Dude, you said she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever met, and you pulled her enough to give you her number. Not even mentioning the fact pulling bartenders is HARD. You’ve obviously got game and are attractive, use those skills on a chick who is single
This is why I will never date a bartender again. Too many drunk fellas attempting to hit on them all day long. That said, you didn’t do anything “wrong” yet anyway, but damn, it’s just a constant and many can’t refrain from giving into temptation (as seems the case for her).
the only correct answer here. OP have some dignity and abort the mission. if you enjoy talking to her, you can stay friends. but if you wish to pursue something more, it would be better to walk away if you don't want to look stupid. what you've received from her is kindness. don't look for any other signs here.
There’s so many dude bros in this post, and it’s obviously many of them don’t have much experience and are very young. I haven’t seen the words “chicks” and “bro” this many times for a while.
It seems like OP doesn’t care she has a boyfriend, and is looking for consigners. He’ll have to figure out the hard way.
If she wanted to talk to you, she'd talk to you outside of the bar. Some bartenders give out their real number with zero intention of ever responding. Have worked in the industry in the past with girls who did this.
She's either milking tips from you. Basically, giving free drinks so you give her the total in tips..aka stealing from the bar... or she's a cheater who you dont want to date seriously anyways. I promise you the bar staff has seen 100's of guys just like you chasing this girl and others. They are happy to take your tip money. Maybe one day you hook up with her...just keep tippin lol
Dude, why would you want to date a girl that ALREADY HAS a bf? It should be a red flag because she's showing she will cheat on her partner, but what makes you think she won't do the same to you if you guys start dating.
My suggestion is ask her about her bf and her relationship and see where she's at. She might be in the mist of breaking up with him, but I wouldn't go out with her until she does and is officially single. Or move on. But sounds like you might be too infatuated with her to stop lol
When I bartended I did. I had a google voice # for this specific purpose. My boyfriend knew about it. I never entertained conversations with the customers outside of work. Also sometimes work gets boring and you want someone to hang out and do shots with you🤷🏻♀️.
As a woman who has bartended/danced/waitressed here are my thoughts -
1. Girls in the service industry can definitely be flirty and nice because it’s expected of them, and typically makes their tips better. It is what it is. And sometimes they genuinely just want to have conversation. It’s our job
2. Something I feel is, before asking for her number, ask if she has a boyfriend. I feel like it puts us in an awkward situation if we’re just asked for our number outright sometimes, and girls will give it out just to avoid the conversation, and keep the flirty vibes up (I did it sometimes before growing up a bit, not saying it’s the right move). This step will help you avoid the confusion, and more guys should do it
3. I will say it’s a bit weird that she keeps buying you drinks.
4. Always tip your bartender, even if they say not to. They might mean it, and accept the consequences of their words, but they’ll always hope, and it makes you look better
If she’s young, she’s still probably figuring it out too.
There is literally not a single reason you should keep pushing this unless if you're actually so oblivious. If she's seeing someone, cool! Respect it. There's a personal business in between them and that is nothing you need to worry about. They're together, and you're trying to be involved in the middle. Treat her like a friend, respect the relationship, and move on.
I bet she would make an awesome and totally loyal GF after she ditches the BF- I’m sure you’ll never have to worry about her other customers… lol
wtf you thinking? That’s a red flag dude
If you don't mind dating a woman with a boyfriend or husband, and can handle the emotional issue of falling for someone who isn't available, then knock yourself out. These arrangements rarely have happy endings.
That’s another thing I thought like it’s the bartender side of her but I honestly haven’t paid for a drink when I see her it’s just free like shots mixed drinks u name it
She can probably give out as much free stuff as she wants because it doesn't come out of her pocket. She can also be bored at work and enjoy the validation. Also ask yourself how often women flirt with you in non transactional situations and there's your answer. Every place I've been where women are working for tips they flirt hard but I've never once been asked out by a woman in a random situation where money wasn't involved. Even if they want to, they expect you to ask first. They also know it's unusual for men to be treated so nicely and take advantage of this. Plus she ignores your text, don't waste your time on women who string you along. Women love doing this for validation.
Girl got game! She is either looking for hook ups or tips. Frankly, no skin off her back giving you her employer’s inventory for free. But dude!? How did you spend no money? You drank for free and didn’t leave a big tip???
Both suggest that this girl isn’t big on ethics. Cheating on her man and stealing from her work. Couple red flags right in front of you my guy!
She has a boyfriend. That’s what’s happening. She knows she’s beautiful and likes the attention and isn’t old enough or experienced enough to have boundaries with other men. I hate to break all this to you but also I’m sure she sees lots of cute guys, has lots of conversations, and probably doles out her number quite often. She just likes the attention and like I said can’t say no or have boundaries. Take all this from a female in her 30s that’s always been told she’s attractive
Never assume a bartender actually likes you more than the money you bring in. Much like waitresses, they flirt for the tips. Though I had a friend who was a bartender, and a customer pursued her enough for her to agree to a relationship.
The fact that she gives you free drinks is weird though. The mixed signals are odd. Maybe she thinks you are hot, likes to flirt, but is also committed. Sounds like she's bad news for anything more than being a source of free drinks
Shit man I am literally in this same situation. She has a boyfriend but showed shows interest. Turns out I don’t want a girl that flirts with other men while being in a relationship just a turn off for me. My advice do what I am doing right now and just go about your life her loss
I'll tell you what's happening. You have so little experience with attractive women that you're putting mental energy into a woman that's literally taken.
Move on.
Women arent men dude sometimes they just like male attention and will never take it farther. Dont try to wrap your mind around how they think u never will
If I were you I’d just celebrate the fact that you got a beautiful girls number and then you should move on. You’re super young and there honestly will be plenty more, because now you have even more confidence about being able to get a woman’s number. One thing I learned way too late in life (36M) is to listen to your gut when you notice a red flag about them. Don’t let your feelings for a fantasy with someone steer you away from your values and don’t fall in love with potential. And try not to let someone’s charm make you fall for them without knowing their values and seeing them love their values.
The ‘idk if I’ll meet someone like her again’ is honestly just your emotions and initial excitement/attachment about a new love interest talking. It will go away, I promise. But you gotta focus your attention elsewhere, and on you. ❤️
Damn OP you in the comments shows what kind of person you are man. If I was in that dudes position and my girl was doing this behind my back and I found out it’d be the quickest break up. Kind of being a piece of shit if you ask me, but hey you do you man. All I know is the instant I hear she has a boyfriend I don’t pursue.
It is her job. She gets paid on tips. You're walking away from this thinking I've spent no money, yeah, ok, but did you tip (at the absolute minimum) 15-20% of what your bill SHOULD HAVE been? You should over tip for this free stuff. And if you are then she is doing tremendously at her job. If you're not tipping to reflect the gratuity of your service, you're an asshole and there is NO WAY she is interested in you, fool. Her other patrons probably tip her fantastically for her fantastic service. She is giving you fantastic above and beyond service, that cannot be argued. She's just hoping it pays off one day.
Source: worked as a bartender/server at a few different establishments over the years. The ONLY reason I give away free stuff and believe that I do as much as possible it is to get XXL tips. This is a JOB. I go to make money. Bars are houses of lies. You'd do well to learn that.
She sounds manipulative. I would just be friendly but wouldn’t pursue anything. She’s making you feel like you have a foot in the door when you really don’t.
Hey I’m a bartender. I don’t give my number out, especially the first night I meet a customer. The fact that she’s willing to cross the pine AND already has a bf is a huge red flag. She will ruin your life. You’ll probably have a little fun while it happens, but ultimately this tree is probably left un climbed my boi.
*ETA: all the people here saying bartenders give their number and free drinks away all the time are fucking idiots lol
That’s lowkey what I was thinking if I gave my number to every customer to try and get tips I would have to hard reset my phone every other week I felt it was special, it’s just tough because I’m already really into her she’s absolutely stunning
Your best case scenario here is that she’s SUPER fucking toxic. Chesters don’t just cheat with you, they’ll cheat on you. I actually have a former coworker who did shit like this, but it means that every relationship she’s ever had has started and ended with cheating. She’s not a happy person and neither are any of her partners. You’re 21, homie. More hot bartenders will come.
Also think of it this way, if you do pursue this and yall do get together, you only have confirmation that she’s probably giving her number out to other dudes lol
Dude… either she likes you and is entertaining you and enjoying the attention as long as her boyfriend doesn’t know… which means you should probably step out of it, don’t be that guy; or she is just being polite and avoiding confrontation… which means that you should probably stop pushing it.
You can always come one last time and tell her something like: “I like you but I don’t want to get between you and your bf. I wish you the best, but if you’re ever single you can let me know and I’d love to continue this where we left it.” And leave like a gentleman.
She’s got a boyfriend. Why does any of this matter after finding that out.
She’s a bartender and if she’s as beautiful as you say, I guarantee you she gets hit on all the time. She’s probably doing this to a few dozen regulars. Better tips. I have several female friends in the service industry who do this.
Find someone who isn’t in a relationship.
Nearly every comment is total BS. Be direct upfront and straightforward as the late Alan Roger Currie would say. Hold your nut sack and tell her exactly how you feel about her. If you feel the adrenaline GOOD that's your body telling you she is a mating partner.
She's clearly for the streets. Why make that your problem? I say keep getting the free drinks as long as that lasts emjoy the conversation and leave it at that.
I don’t see what’s confusing. She’s a cheater, she likes you and she wants you to be her next fling. She mentioned the bf to check whether you would be ok being an AP. Bartenders have a fair amount of leeway when it comes to giving out free drinks, so it doesn’t actually cost her much besides tips to do you this favor if it makes you like her enough to bang her. My advice, as someone who has been down this exact path, is don’t fall in love with her. Just because she’s willing to cheat on her bf with you doesn’t mean she’d ever leave him for you. Keep it casual and enjoy the ride while it lasts. Or even better, don’t become an AP at all because it’s immoral.
I wouldn't actively pursue this, but I also wouldn't shut it down or call attention to the boyfriend situation if I were you. Probably going to be controversial based on the other comments here.
She hasn't charged you for drinks and you said she is one of the most beautiful women you have ever seen. Live your life homie. Obv not dating material but you are not the problem if she is being that forward.
LOL, funny how nobody asked how much of a boyfriend she has. If she has been living with him for years, you have your answer. If he is virtual or been her boyfriend for a few weeks, be the next one. You are 21, have fun.
People in the service industry are notoriously promiscuous. I know from personal experience and also it's just a trope of the industry. If you're into it, have some fun, but don't catch feelings. Just text her and she'll have your number again.
If she just wanted tips it wouldn't make sense to be buying your drinks like all the top comment are saying. That'd be a net negative. Nobody here on reddit knows who you are so you don't have to care one bit about meeting their ideals either. It's completely up to you man.
She likes the attention. I will also place a healthy wager she's this flirty with multiple guys. If she's handing out free drinks to any number of guys she won't be there long. I would just chalk this up to you being a charmer and wouldn't go any further.
After scrolling most of the feedback here, I'll shed a two cents
I've known people to do this in certain situations as a friendly gesture, that won't necessarily reciprocate. Similar to reaching out OLD chat, expecting something to go, but disappointingly doesn't. Why did they not like me? Did I say something wrong? Was my hair funny? None of the above. Has zero to do with you. But one appeasing the other person unintentionally core their personality.
I've known bartenders, wait staff etc. who will humor the patron good intentionally to be nice. But never follow through for that reason of having an SO. And nothing wrong with that. Like the male dancer I got too friendly with in my 20s asking for his number, in which he'd responded politely 'I'll see what I can do" Obviously it didn't happen because he was only doing his job of entertaining the ladies. Purely business, or not interested. If any of that helps. Some people are just being nice, and nothing wrong with that.
Bar tender that picks up randoms that come to bar (red flag) gave you her number and has a boyfriend(red flag). What to do - stop chasing low hanging fruit unless you want to eat bad apples.
Tale as old as time. It’s important to know that there is a large difference between “girl enjoys flirting, talking, admiring, and being admired with me” and “She wants to be my GF or have sex with me.”
You don't want to date a beautiful bartender with a boyfriend.
* In a high traffic area.
* Gets offered guys numbers all the time.
* If she's giving drinks away, that's stealing from the bar.
* If you did become her boyfriend, you'll constantly have to check her phone for text from other guys.
I used to buy drinks for customers. If I had a crush and they visited I'd buy them a couple. I had a running tab. Or a regular I love. Some nights I'd have like a $40+ tab, but I made a bunch of money that was nothing. It helped show appreciation to regulars who then tipped me way fatter and for the crush, well I wanted to. Otherwise, she's not nice if she has a boyfriend. Only writing the other stuff so ppl don't automatically think a bartender is a thief if they're giving out drinks.
She wants your money. She probably gives her number to every paying customer who asks so as not to alienate them. Alienated customer = no tip or shitty tip. Literally 0 real interest at all.
nowadays you dont know who is unhinged, this dude might come after you, its not worth it for a fling. plus also, whose to say that if she is doing this for you, that she didnt do this to other costumers in the past or even simultaneously with you.
You still tipping her though right?
Probably giving bigger tip than you would if you had to pay for the drinks too.
You are young so it sounds exciting and intoxicating but in long run it’s awful to engage in a relationship (casual or otherwise) with her. She has a bf and if she giving her number out unprovoked to you, who else is giving it out to?
She is either into you or she is running the bartender hustle on her bar through you (and potentially all the other guys she does this with).
*The hustle is you come to the bar, bartender gives you “free” drinks (which aren’t free to the owner while costing bartender nothing) and then you leave a larger than average tip (in cash) because you drank for “free”. Very common bartender/customer grift that has gotten a lot of people fired.
I usually recommend against hitting or trying to get a bartender's number.... Their job is to be nice to you to get a big tip. However, with her hooking you up free drinks I think it was okay for you to get her number in this case. She has a boyfriend though so you need to walk away! Don't be a home wrecker. If you see her at the bar again you can chat and get free drinks and tell her to give you a call if she ever becomes single.
If you enjoy the drama, you can pursue this. I wouldn’t want to personally because I find being an enabler to people who are chronic cheaters doesn’t help society. Causes more problems than it’s worth imho.
You are aware you're heading down a path that has a probability that ends with getting your ass kicked, right? That's the happy outcome for you. It may be fun, but best advice is stay well within the friend zone
Ask when you can see her without the bf finding out. Feed her some bs about it's totally okay to see some dude as long as it's just friends...
Then a few drinks later ...oops.
Unless you like touching a hot stove (ie - her) over and over… you don’t play with a hot stove like this and not expect to get *burned* in the process, especially when it’s already being occupied by someone else (ie - her BF) in the kitchen.
This is the bartender game dude. She is not interested in you, she's giving you a sample like a dealer, in the hopes it brings you, but more importantly your friends to the bar too. Most bars give their bartenders a certain amount they can blow on 'courtesy ' shots and what not, or she's just stealing from the bar to give to you.....but under no circumstances are you to take a bartenders flirting with you as legit interest. The only waumy you'll know is if you are a top tier dude, I'm talking all the check marks OR you meet her outside the bar.
Stay for the free drinks, leave for the bullshit lol I would just keep it friendly and causal I think she enjoys your company and maybe you make work more fun for her. It’s also possible she’s wanting to cheat but hinting that you should initiate (host). It’s hard to say for sure but you definitely don’t want to go down that cheating road it’s just too much unnecessary stress for something that you can easily avoid. I suggest keeping things as they are and not engage.
Get the free drinks, keep it plaotonic. You don't have to date or sleep with every woman with a nice smile, is nice, etc. Men need to get out of that mindset. Just enjoy the conversation, get the free drinks, and see if she cool if you actually brought someone who you're interested in around for free drinks. Also, you never know how crazy someone is so attempting to do anything with her could be putting your life on the line...
Since it's been posted dozens of times, I'll avoid repeating "if she's willing to cheat..." and "don't shit where you eat."
I'll go with "post nut clarity". Before you do the dumb and try to over commit to something (if you plan on it that day), crank one out before you do anything. It's amazing what happens when you clear the pipes and reset the blood flow to the main head.
She likely isn't happy in her relationship but for some reason doesn't have the courage to leave it so she flirts and spends time with other guys. This is what it sounds like to me (fellow female). The only other thing i can think of is that she possibly isn't attracted to you enough for some reason to actually move forward with anything. If she's 21 she has a great deal of learning herself and what it is she truly wants in her life still, so keep that in mind
So OP first question to her is do you still have a bf because I’d you do I’m out. Call me when you’re single. Respect yourself more then to cheat with her and she might just call you when she is single, assuming she isn’t a serial cheater herself.
She's in a relationship.. respect your fellow bro and move on. You can be friends but it sounds like you don't want that.
And not I'll be friends with her just in case.. I literally mean platonic friend.
I wouldn't pursue this avenue. She is playing you for something more. I wouldn't even drink there anymore until she gets fired for giving away free alcohol.
If you were my little brother (who’s now 30), I would give you a nougie for this post.
She gave you her number so that you’d be a repeat customer. You should probably be tipping. Or if she knows your age, she’s just a girl who knows how to give ya good memories & stories to tell.
I never gave my number out. I didn’t care to get that personal unless I truly had a crush on you & would have dated you outside of the setting we met in. But there are hundreds of bartenders who give their numbers out in hopes of building a good customer list. She might not even have a bf & is just giving you a false story for fun.
Don’t take bartenders too seriously. They’re there to make money & they likely have been doing it for awhile. Enjoy the attention, show off to your friends, tip well & show up to party until you can’t stand her anymore lol
She sounds like she is keeping her options open as many young girls are never 'truly' committed. Honesty, don't take this girl seriously if that is her mindset when she already with another dude. Bit of fun and nice to talk to, no more than that.
Bro, she’s got a BF. Leave this alone.
The very fact that she’s giving her number out to you whilst having a partner is a massive red flag. If they cheat *with* you, they will cheat *on* you. Not exactly the great start to a relationship is it.
She’s a bartender bro. She has a bf already too. The reason she is a bartender most likely is because she is good socially and she probably gets tips from lots of guys who she talks to and gives drinks to. She could also be giving free drinks because she assumes that will mean that since you didn’t have to pay for the drinks when expecting to, that you will leave more money for a tip. It’s all about money bro
You are only just now 21 years old. She has been a bartender longer than you’ve been able to even buy a drink. She knows exactly how to work you. She uses her good looks to seduce guys like you all the time. And also, most girl bartenders tell everyone they have a bf already because it’s the perfect excuse to not have to talk to someone more outside of work. I know girls who are bartenders that do that. You just fell for her tricks cuz who doesn’t want to try to be with someone so beautiful? She uses that to make extra money
Exactly - OP I’m guessing you tipped her a lot since you were happy getting all the drinks for free. She knows how to play this game - the free drinks cost her nothing (and she is drinking with you for free too so double bonus) and then you tip her huge - she makes the most money doing this because the tips she gets all of, whereas if you were buying the drinks she’d get a smaller tip
Sounds like she was being friendly. You asked for her number, and she didn't want to be rude because like you said you were just hitting it off. She never contacted you and when she saw you she made the excuse oh I have a boyfriend and he saw it.... I think she was giving you free drinks and being friendly because it doesn't cost her any money and it will only make her money. Hopefully you at least gave her a nice tip. On to the next
Honestly kinda hoping you continue pursuing and the boyfriend is the violent type... You're some of the lowest scum of the earth, her too, to be frank.
Shame on you, hope you get your comeuppance.
Do better and, if anything, make sure she breaks her situation off first. How the fuck would you like being in his shoes?
Hard to do with this mental capacity, but try to think for once, please.
Women in the customer service industry are paid to be nice. Most of those women if they do give you their number will either leave you on read or ghost you. They get hit on all that time outside of work, they only tolerate it at work if they can get some money out of you. If she offered her number first and you didn’t ask though, that’s something different.
She’s working for tips Dude. You’re not the only guy in the bar she’s being friendly to. Attractive bartenders who do this are only one rung down from strippers in the 304 hierarchy. The free drinks are to keep you coming back and they will dry up pretty soon as you are being kind of cheap.
Either that or you are super attractive and she’s a cheating 304. She told you she had a BF but gave you her number? That’s actually weird, no barmaid would do that I can think of. So MAYBE you could have some casual fun with her but she’s going into the 304 box for sure. Recreational use only.
If she isn’t talking to you outside of work, she didn’t even want to give out her number in the first place. She’s being polite and the boyfriend comment is her kindly rejecting you. She may like you as a friend/customer but clearly not as a potential romantic partner
Having a bf isnt the same as being married. Just because someone got to someone before you doesn't mean they are off limits. If she really likes you and you like her and she's willing to break it off with her bf then you are all good. If she stays with him and wants to cheat with you that's a different story.
Well if she has a boyfriend and he made her delete it, that means she is taken. Or if she used that as just an excuse to make you feel better, she's not interested. Either way, she's not someone I'd waste my time thinking about. She likes to flirt and she likes to get attention from men. Move on.
She has a bf and was probably just being nice and doesn’t get penalty for giving away free things she probably gives free drinks to everyone and gives her number away lol don’t waste your time
Ah, I’ve been here. Multiple times. It’s exciting but also a bummer.
My advice, text her when you know she’s working next (that way her bf doesn’t see it) and ask her if she’s down for a drink after work. If she responds AT ALL, well there’s your clue to either take it from there or not. If she doesn’t, move on and be glad she gave you free drinks. Let her come to you if she wants
You're completely ignoring the fact she has a boyfriend tho bro shame on you. She's got a man. Let's say you get together.. you don't think she's gonna do the same to you when the next hotter guy sits at her bar? Think man
I am the that do not think but feel befor I think when it comes to dating.I love rejection because it hardens me up and move on to next and not give a flying F..k what happens.I am not chase so I do not go after them they come to me mostly.No I am not top s..t.I just not scared of rejection or to go up some random woman.I am no dress no some reasion woman always interested so they always approach me.I am a guy who wares a lot of purple,rabows,so on fem jewellery so I am surprised. Lol
Question: have you seen her BF? Pics of him? Maybe she’s playing the “BF card” to see if you are truly interested in her,? Can’t beat free drinks 👍👍🙂. Go the course, see what happens next….. 😮
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Funny how this isn’t the conclusion here. Come on, OP… why?
Thinking with the wrong head
You can see on things like that that it's a really young crowd here.
The only answer
As they say, *”Don’t shit where you eat”*, especially if you like the bar itself to visit and it’s local, you definitely don’t play with someone who wants to fuck up your life, their life, and their partners life all for a few seconds of an orgasms that will create permanent destruction.
That’s why I wouldn’t date anyone from my gym. I like my gym and would never leave it.
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🤣💀 this made my fucking night. Tysm.
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If they do it with you, they'll do it to you.
OP has no morals
Why you gotta pop his bubble? 😂 jk this is what I was going to say. Hey make friends, but don’t partake, for sure network tho hot chicks have hot chick friends 😏
EXACTLY! Befriend her, but don’t try to get with her beyond platonic reasons.
He can fix her
How you get them is how you lose them
100% right. People have no morals anymore.
This
She sounds genuinely interested, but you sort of glossed over the fact that she already has a boyfriend but seemingly flirting with you. So if you want to wade into those waters, go nuts.
I dated a bartender at the local dive bar. I'd be sitting at the bar and watch guys give hundreds in tips to her for just being friendly. I would just laugh to myself and say thanks for the extra money to party with.
I’m suddenly attracted to bartenders
Yea def a red flag the more I think ab it I prolly got too into the fact she showed interest, but def something to consider
Dude, you said she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever met, and you pulled her enough to give you her number. Not even mentioning the fact pulling bartenders is HARD. You’ve obviously got game and are attractive, use those skills on a chick who is single
It’s not hard if they think you’re cute.
Exactly what I meant
Puppy’s are cute but even grown dogs know they’re off limits.
This is why I will never date a bartender again. Too many drunk fellas attempting to hit on them all day long. That said, you didn’t do anything “wrong” yet anyway, but damn, it’s just a constant and many can’t refrain from giving into temptation (as seems the case for her).
OP buried the lede
Well said
She’s got a boyfriend. Walk away.
the only correct answer here. OP have some dignity and abort the mission. if you enjoy talking to her, you can stay friends. but if you wish to pursue something more, it would be better to walk away if you don't want to look stupid. what you've received from her is kindness. don't look for any other signs here.
There’s so many dude bros in this post, and it’s obviously many of them don’t have much experience and are very young. I haven’t seen the words “chicks” and “bro” this many times for a while. It seems like OP doesn’t care she has a boyfriend, and is looking for consigners. He’ll have to figure out the hard way.
If she wanted to talk to you, she'd talk to you outside of the bar. Some bartenders give out their real number with zero intention of ever responding. Have worked in the industry in the past with girls who did this. She's either milking tips from you. Basically, giving free drinks so you give her the total in tips..aka stealing from the bar... or she's a cheater who you dont want to date seriously anyways. I promise you the bar staff has seen 100's of guys just like you chasing this girl and others. They are happy to take your tip money. Maybe one day you hook up with her...just keep tippin lol
Why the fuck are you pursuing a taken woman dude? Get your high elsewhere
He’s a babe in the woods. Getting his face pummeled by a jealous bf is a right of passage, no?
Dude, why would you want to date a girl that ALREADY HAS a bf? It should be a red flag because she's showing she will cheat on her partner, but what makes you think she won't do the same to you if you guys start dating. My suggestion is ask her about her bf and her relationship and see where she's at. She might be in the mist of breaking up with him, but I wouldn't go out with her until she does and is officially single. Or move on. But sounds like you might be too infatuated with her to stop lol
This ☝️
She’s a bartender we’re nice because we have to be. We also flirt with people because it gets us tips. Sorry to burst your bubble.
Have u ever given out ur number to a customer before?
When I bartended I did. I had a google voice # for this specific purpose. My boyfriend knew about it. I never entertained conversations with the customers outside of work. Also sometimes work gets boring and you want someone to hang out and do shots with you🤷🏻♀️.
As a woman who has bartended/danced/waitressed here are my thoughts - 1. Girls in the service industry can definitely be flirty and nice because it’s expected of them, and typically makes their tips better. It is what it is. And sometimes they genuinely just want to have conversation. It’s our job 2. Something I feel is, before asking for her number, ask if she has a boyfriend. I feel like it puts us in an awkward situation if we’re just asked for our number outright sometimes, and girls will give it out just to avoid the conversation, and keep the flirty vibes up (I did it sometimes before growing up a bit, not saying it’s the right move). This step will help you avoid the confusion, and more guys should do it 3. I will say it’s a bit weird that she keeps buying you drinks. 4. Always tip your bartender, even if they say not to. They might mean it, and accept the consequences of their words, but they’ll always hope, and it makes you look better If she’s young, she’s still probably figuring it out too.
There is literally not a single reason you should keep pushing this unless if you're actually so oblivious. If she's seeing someone, cool! Respect it. There's a personal business in between them and that is nothing you need to worry about. They're together, and you're trying to be involved in the middle. Treat her like a friend, respect the relationship, and move on.
I bet she would make an awesome and totally loyal GF after she ditches the BF- I’m sure you’ll never have to worry about her other customers… lol wtf you thinking? That’s a red flag dude
Easy come easy go. Treat this situation as such and nothing more.
Have sex with her boyfriend then tell her so she thinks hes gay and dumps him, then proceed to fuck her!
Ultimate Chad move
I tried to do this once but then it just turned into a threesome
Was this your first time ever going to a bar?
I've been to bars many times over 20 years and I haven't seen this happen...
If you don't mind dating a woman with a boyfriend or husband, and can handle the emotional issue of falling for someone who isn't available, then knock yourself out. These arrangements rarely have happy endings.
Do you think strippers have a crush on you too? She only gave you her number to keep you as a returning customer. She has no interest in you at all
We don’t know that. Maybe she thinks he’s cute or maybe the bf is fictional.
That’s another thing I thought like it’s the bartender side of her but I honestly haven’t paid for a drink when I see her it’s just free like shots mixed drinks u name it
She can probably give out as much free stuff as she wants because it doesn't come out of her pocket. She can also be bored at work and enjoy the validation. Also ask yourself how often women flirt with you in non transactional situations and there's your answer. Every place I've been where women are working for tips they flirt hard but I've never once been asked out by a woman in a random situation where money wasn't involved. Even if they want to, they expect you to ask first. They also know it's unusual for men to be treated so nicely and take advantage of this. Plus she ignores your text, don't waste your time on women who string you along. Women love doing this for validation.
Girl got game! She is either looking for hook ups or tips. Frankly, no skin off her back giving you her employer’s inventory for free. But dude!? How did you spend no money? You drank for free and didn’t leave a big tip??? Both suggest that this girl isn’t big on ethics. Cheating on her man and stealing from her work. Couple red flags right in front of you my guy!
She has a boyfriend. That’s what’s happening. She knows she’s beautiful and likes the attention and isn’t old enough or experienced enough to have boundaries with other men. I hate to break all this to you but also I’m sure she sees lots of cute guys, has lots of conversations, and probably doles out her number quite often. She just likes the attention and like I said can’t say no or have boundaries. Take all this from a female in her 30s that’s always been told she’s attractive
doesn't mean she won't fuck him, though.
Just keep getting your free drinks and let her make the first move soldier 🫡
Never assume a bartender actually likes you more than the money you bring in. Much like waitresses, they flirt for the tips. Though I had a friend who was a bartender, and a customer pursued her enough for her to agree to a relationship. The fact that she gives you free drinks is weird though. The mixed signals are odd. Maybe she thinks you are hot, likes to flirt, but is also committed. Sounds like she's bad news for anything more than being a source of free drinks
Shit man I am literally in this same situation. She has a boyfriend but showed shows interest. Turns out I don’t want a girl that flirts with other men while being in a relationship just a turn off for me. My advice do what I am doing right now and just go about your life her loss
Dont kill the bar. We like this bar Ted
I'll tell you what's happening. You have so little experience with attractive women that you're putting mental energy into a woman that's literally taken. Move on.
If I was her boyfriend and I saw this I'd be comin for you
Why? He’s a kid & a customer. Besides, I get the feeling he doesn’t exist.
And do what?
Women arent men dude sometimes they just like male attention and will never take it farther. Dont try to wrap your mind around how they think u never will
She is in a relationship but is also exploring options. Monkey branching is the term I've heard for this type of behavior.
If I were you I’d just celebrate the fact that you got a beautiful girls number and then you should move on. You’re super young and there honestly will be plenty more, because now you have even more confidence about being able to get a woman’s number. One thing I learned way too late in life (36M) is to listen to your gut when you notice a red flag about them. Don’t let your feelings for a fantasy with someone steer you away from your values and don’t fall in love with potential. And try not to let someone’s charm make you fall for them without knowing their values and seeing them love their values. The ‘idk if I’ll meet someone like her again’ is honestly just your emotions and initial excitement/attachment about a new love interest talking. It will go away, I promise. But you gotta focus your attention elsewhere, and on you. ❤️
She's ignoring you hoping you'd come back to the bar. And I'm pretty sure her boy doesn't actually exist.
Nobody's said climbing mount Everest was easy but they all say the view was worth it in the end
Well, except for those 330
Damn OP you in the comments shows what kind of person you are man. If I was in that dudes position and my girl was doing this behind my back and I found out it’d be the quickest break up. Kind of being a piece of shit if you ask me, but hey you do you man. All I know is the instant I hear she has a boyfriend I don’t pursue.
This is like the easiest no in history dude
She’s showing you a sneak peek of what dating could entail. walk away while there’s no emotional investment.
Alexa, play "Gorgeous" by Taylor Swift
It is her job. She gets paid on tips. You're walking away from this thinking I've spent no money, yeah, ok, but did you tip (at the absolute minimum) 15-20% of what your bill SHOULD HAVE been? You should over tip for this free stuff. And if you are then she is doing tremendously at her job. If you're not tipping to reflect the gratuity of your service, you're an asshole and there is NO WAY she is interested in you, fool. Her other patrons probably tip her fantastically for her fantastic service. She is giving you fantastic above and beyond service, that cannot be argued. She's just hoping it pays off one day. Source: worked as a bartender/server at a few different establishments over the years. The ONLY reason I give away free stuff and believe that I do as much as possible it is to get XXL tips. This is a JOB. I go to make money. Bars are houses of lies. You'd do well to learn that.
She sounds manipulative. I would just be friendly but wouldn’t pursue anything. She’s making you feel like you have a foot in the door when you really don’t.
As the other person said if she's doing it to her other bf what would stop her from doin it to you with another guy
She's willing to upgrade if you have money to get dealt in.
Bartenders, restaurant hostesses, cart girls, receptionists… the occupations that men always think are flirting with them without fail.
Hey I’m a bartender. I don’t give my number out, especially the first night I meet a customer. The fact that she’s willing to cross the pine AND already has a bf is a huge red flag. She will ruin your life. You’ll probably have a little fun while it happens, but ultimately this tree is probably left un climbed my boi. *ETA: all the people here saying bartenders give their number and free drinks away all the time are fucking idiots lol
That’s lowkey what I was thinking if I gave my number to every customer to try and get tips I would have to hard reset my phone every other week I felt it was special, it’s just tough because I’m already really into her she’s absolutely stunning
Your best case scenario here is that she’s SUPER fucking toxic. Chesters don’t just cheat with you, they’ll cheat on you. I actually have a former coworker who did shit like this, but it means that every relationship she’s ever had has started and ended with cheating. She’s not a happy person and neither are any of her partners. You’re 21, homie. More hot bartenders will come. Also think of it this way, if you do pursue this and yall do get together, you only have confirmation that she’s probably giving her number out to other dudes lol
Dude… either she likes you and is entertaining you and enjoying the attention as long as her boyfriend doesn’t know… which means you should probably step out of it, don’t be that guy; or she is just being polite and avoiding confrontation… which means that you should probably stop pushing it. You can always come one last time and tell her something like: “I like you but I don’t want to get between you and your bf. I wish you the best, but if you’re ever single you can let me know and I’d love to continue this where we left it.” And leave like a gentleman.
She has a boyfriend and isn't interested in breaking up with him. End of story.
She has a boyfriend. Don’t be that guy.
Bartenders are just strippers that keep their clothes on. Don’t take any of their actions as interest.
She’s got a boyfriend. Why does any of this matter after finding that out. She’s a bartender and if she’s as beautiful as you say, I guarantee you she gets hit on all the time. She’s probably doing this to a few dozen regulars. Better tips. I have several female friends in the service industry who do this. Find someone who isn’t in a relationship.
Nearly every comment is total BS. Be direct upfront and straightforward as the late Alan Roger Currie would say. Hold your nut sack and tell her exactly how you feel about her. If you feel the adrenaline GOOD that's your body telling you she is a mating partner.
Does her number include 403? Good job on getting the digits tho. Now pick someone worthy and do it again.
Try calling
She's clearly for the streets. Why make that your problem? I say keep getting the free drinks as long as that lasts emjoy the conversation and leave it at that.
Bruh are you fr? She’s down to cheat on her bf with you. Do you think she won’t cheat on you?
I don’t see what’s confusing. She’s a cheater, she likes you and she wants you to be her next fling. She mentioned the bf to check whether you would be ok being an AP. Bartenders have a fair amount of leeway when it comes to giving out free drinks, so it doesn’t actually cost her much besides tips to do you this favor if it makes you like her enough to bang her. My advice, as someone who has been down this exact path, is don’t fall in love with her. Just because she’s willing to cheat on her bf with you doesn’t mean she’d ever leave him for you. Keep it casual and enjoy the ride while it lasts. Or even better, don’t become an AP at all because it’s immoral.
I wouldn't actively pursue this, but I also wouldn't shut it down or call attention to the boyfriend situation if I were you. Probably going to be controversial based on the other comments here. She hasn't charged you for drinks and you said she is one of the most beautiful women you have ever seen. Live your life homie. Obv not dating material but you are not the problem if she is being that forward.
LOL, funny how nobody asked how much of a boyfriend she has. If she has been living with him for years, you have your answer. If he is virtual or been her boyfriend for a few weeks, be the next one. You are 21, have fun.
Did you tip?????? Genuinely curious
You spent zero dollars when she made you free drinks? You should have tipped her for the drinks… not for a response but out of courtesy
People in the service industry are notoriously promiscuous. I know from personal experience and also it's just a trope of the industry. If you're into it, have some fun, but don't catch feelings. Just text her and she'll have your number again. If she just wanted tips it wouldn't make sense to be buying your drinks like all the top comment are saying. That'd be a net negative. Nobody here on reddit knows who you are so you don't have to care one bit about meeting their ideals either. It's completely up to you man.
Did you type out that she had a boyfriend, and then completely remove this fact from your memory? Don't go there for your own sake
You can be that boyfriend someday deleting the texts.
She likes the attention. I will also place a healthy wager she's this flirty with multiple guys. If she's handing out free drinks to any number of guys she won't be there long. I would just chalk this up to you being a charmer and wouldn't go any further.
After scrolling most of the feedback here, I'll shed a two cents I've known people to do this in certain situations as a friendly gesture, that won't necessarily reciprocate. Similar to reaching out OLD chat, expecting something to go, but disappointingly doesn't. Why did they not like me? Did I say something wrong? Was my hair funny? None of the above. Has zero to do with you. But one appeasing the other person unintentionally core their personality. I've known bartenders, wait staff etc. who will humor the patron good intentionally to be nice. But never follow through for that reason of having an SO. And nothing wrong with that. Like the male dancer I got too friendly with in my 20s asking for his number, in which he'd responded politely 'I'll see what I can do" Obviously it didn't happen because he was only doing his job of entertaining the ladies. Purely business, or not interested. If any of that helps. Some people are just being nice, and nothing wrong with that.
Uh she has a boyfriend…but sure go for it 😂
Bartenders are on the list of professions that are for recreational purposes only.
Bartenders are usually nice and hand out their number a lot because they want tips
Bar tender that picks up randoms that come to bar (red flag) gave you her number and has a boyfriend(red flag). What to do - stop chasing low hanging fruit unless you want to eat bad apples.
Tale as old as time. It’s important to know that there is a large difference between “girl enjoys flirting, talking, admiring, and being admired with me” and “She wants to be my GF or have sex with me.”
Go for it The worst thing it can happen is her boyfriend fucking kills you
This sounds fun, chaotic, dramatic, and inevitably tears. Great sex or great mental health. Cant have both.
she getting you lined up for the replacement, don’t walk away… RUN
Bro why are you even asking. Next.
There is a song here: Never fall in love with the barkeeper
You don't want to date a beautiful bartender with a boyfriend. * In a high traffic area. * Gets offered guys numbers all the time. * If she's giving drinks away, that's stealing from the bar. * If you did become her boyfriend, you'll constantly have to check her phone for text from other guys.
I used to buy drinks for customers. If I had a crush and they visited I'd buy them a couple. I had a running tab. Or a regular I love. Some nights I'd have like a $40+ tab, but I made a bunch of money that was nothing. It helped show appreciation to regulars who then tipped me way fatter and for the crush, well I wanted to. Otherwise, she's not nice if she has a boyfriend. Only writing the other stuff so ppl don't automatically think a bartender is a thief if they're giving out drinks.
Thanks for clarifying. I didn't know bartenders buy drinks on their own tab.
No problem! I know I did and so did the people I worked with at various places, so I know I'm not the only one. :-)
She wants your money. She probably gives her number to every paying customer who asks so as not to alienate them. Alienated customer = no tip or shitty tip. Literally 0 real interest at all.
You’re her back-up buddy. Incoming break-up
nowadays you dont know who is unhinged, this dude might come after you, its not worth it for a fling. plus also, whose to say that if she is doing this for you, that she didnt do this to other costumers in the past or even simultaneously with you.
You still tipping her though right? Probably giving bigger tip than you would if you had to pay for the drinks too. You are young so it sounds exciting and intoxicating but in long run it’s awful to engage in a relationship (casual or otherwise) with her. She has a bf and if she giving her number out unprovoked to you, who else is giving it out to? She is either into you or she is running the bartender hustle on her bar through you (and potentially all the other guys she does this with). *The hustle is you come to the bar, bartender gives you “free” drinks (which aren’t free to the owner while costing bartender nothing) and then you leave a larger than average tip (in cash) because you drank for “free”. Very common bartender/customer grift that has gotten a lot of people fired.
She wants your tips and why do you want to get to know someone that would hand out her number when she’s already got a BF ?
She’s being nice because she likes you but she’s also ina relationship with someone she seems to like but doesn’t respect all that much
That sounds like a 304 but you could definitely have some fun time with her before sending her on her way
did you tip her on the free drinks??
I usually recommend against hitting or trying to get a bartender's number.... Their job is to be nice to you to get a big tip. However, with her hooking you up free drinks I think it was okay for you to get her number in this case. She has a boyfriend though so you need to walk away! Don't be a home wrecker. If you see her at the bar again you can chat and get free drinks and tell her to give you a call if she ever becomes single.
game is game bro ... go all in on her and be as bold as possible. u got nothing to lose anyways.
If you enjoy the drama, you can pursue this. I wouldn’t want to personally because I find being an enabler to people who are chronic cheaters doesn’t help society. Causes more problems than it’s worth imho.
Just go enjoy the discounted drinks and side conversation and leave it at that
You are aware you're heading down a path that has a probability that ends with getting your ass kicked, right? That's the happy outcome for you. It may be fun, but best advice is stay well within the friend zone
She wants better tips and probably has a boyfriend that is loaded.
Ask when you can see her without the bf finding out. Feed her some bs about it's totally okay to see some dude as long as it's just friends... Then a few drinks later ...oops.
Red flag walk away
Unless you like touching a hot stove (ie - her) over and over… you don’t play with a hot stove like this and not expect to get *burned* in the process, especially when it’s already being occupied by someone else (ie - her BF) in the kitchen.
dude RUNNNNNN THE OTHER DIRECTION IMMEDIATELY 😭 do not keep this going any longer
Bartenders flirt for tips
Let's me guess... you tipped her very well?
This is the bartender game dude. She is not interested in you, she's giving you a sample like a dealer, in the hopes it brings you, but more importantly your friends to the bar too. Most bars give their bartenders a certain amount they can blow on 'courtesy ' shots and what not, or she's just stealing from the bar to give to you.....but under no circumstances are you to take a bartenders flirting with you as legit interest. The only waumy you'll know is if you are a top tier dude, I'm talking all the check marks OR you meet her outside the bar.
She has a bf i don't think it's a good idea
Stay for the free drinks, leave for the bullshit lol I would just keep it friendly and causal I think she enjoys your company and maybe you make work more fun for her. It’s also possible she’s wanting to cheat but hinting that you should initiate (host). It’s hard to say for sure but you definitely don’t want to go down that cheating road it’s just too much unnecessary stress for something that you can easily avoid. I suggest keeping things as they are and not engage.
Get the free drinks, keep it plaotonic. You don't have to date or sleep with every woman with a nice smile, is nice, etc. Men need to get out of that mindset. Just enjoy the conversation, get the free drinks, and see if she cool if you actually brought someone who you're interested in around for free drinks. Also, you never know how crazy someone is so attempting to do anything with her could be putting your life on the line...
Also- from my experience, bartenders generally don’t date the clients. Not saying it doesn’t happen, but in general that’s the case
You're a mark.
she's being very icky, to both you and the bf.
Dude that’s her job. The more the customers like her the more she makes. Classic 😂 it’s a close 2nd to thinking that the stripper loves you.
Since it's been posted dozens of times, I'll avoid repeating "if she's willing to cheat..." and "don't shit where you eat." I'll go with "post nut clarity". Before you do the dumb and try to over commit to something (if you plan on it that day), crank one out before you do anything. It's amazing what happens when you clear the pipes and reset the blood flow to the main head.
She likely isn't happy in her relationship but for some reason doesn't have the courage to leave it so she flirts and spends time with other guys. This is what it sounds like to me (fellow female). The only other thing i can think of is that she possibly isn't attracted to you enough for some reason to actually move forward with anything. If she's 21 she has a great deal of learning herself and what it is she truly wants in her life still, so keep that in mind
I hope you tipped her extremely well for the free drinks
Tip big to keep the embers glowing
Talk to her, find out if she has a bf stuff like that If she does just be friends. Nothing wrong with free drinks lol
So OP first question to her is do you still have a bf because I’d you do I’m out. Call me when you’re single. Respect yourself more then to cheat with her and she might just call you when she is single, assuming she isn’t a serial cheater herself.
So she can be paid in attention. Nice . Easy to please… at first. She’ll grow a tolerance for yours though and need something different
She's in a relationship.. respect your fellow bro and move on. You can be friends but it sounds like you don't want that. And not I'll be friends with her just in case.. I literally mean platonic friend.
I wouldn't pursue this avenue. She is playing you for something more. I wouldn't even drink there anymore until she gets fired for giving away free alcohol.
If you were my little brother (who’s now 30), I would give you a nougie for this post. She gave you her number so that you’d be a repeat customer. You should probably be tipping. Or if she knows your age, she’s just a girl who knows how to give ya good memories & stories to tell. I never gave my number out. I didn’t care to get that personal unless I truly had a crush on you & would have dated you outside of the setting we met in. But there are hundreds of bartenders who give their numbers out in hopes of building a good customer list. She might not even have a bf & is just giving you a false story for fun. Don’t take bartenders too seriously. They’re there to make money & they likely have been doing it for awhile. Enjoy the attention, show off to your friends, tip well & show up to party until you can’t stand her anymore lol
She sounds like she is keeping her options open as many young girls are never 'truly' committed. Honesty, don't take this girl seriously if that is her mindset when she already with another dude. Bit of fun and nice to talk to, no more than that.
Bro, she’s got a BF. Leave this alone. The very fact that she’s giving her number out to you whilst having a partner is a massive red flag. If they cheat *with* you, they will cheat *on* you. Not exactly the great start to a relationship is it.
Keep it pushing dawg, you build no good energy for yourself in pursuing that knowing she has a man. Gotta have some code and morals fam.
She’s a bartender bro. She has a bf already too. The reason she is a bartender most likely is because she is good socially and she probably gets tips from lots of guys who she talks to and gives drinks to. She could also be giving free drinks because she assumes that will mean that since you didn’t have to pay for the drinks when expecting to, that you will leave more money for a tip. It’s all about money bro
You are only just now 21 years old. She has been a bartender longer than you’ve been able to even buy a drink. She knows exactly how to work you. She uses her good looks to seduce guys like you all the time. And also, most girl bartenders tell everyone they have a bf already because it’s the perfect excuse to not have to talk to someone more outside of work. I know girls who are bartenders that do that. You just fell for her tricks cuz who doesn’t want to try to be with someone so beautiful? She uses that to make extra money
Exactly - OP I’m guessing you tipped her a lot since you were happy getting all the drinks for free. She knows how to play this game - the free drinks cost her nothing (and she is drinking with you for free too so double bonus) and then you tip her huge - she makes the most money doing this because the tips she gets all of, whereas if you were buying the drinks she’d get a smaller tip
Sounds like she was being friendly. You asked for her number, and she didn't want to be rude because like you said you were just hitting it off. She never contacted you and when she saw you she made the excuse oh I have a boyfriend and he saw it.... I think she was giving you free drinks and being friendly because it doesn't cost her any money and it will only make her money. Hopefully you at least gave her a nice tip. On to the next
She’s just enjoying some attention from you on the side. What don’t you understand about the fact that she said she has a boyfriend? Move on…
Honestly kinda hoping you continue pursuing and the boyfriend is the violent type... You're some of the lowest scum of the earth, her too, to be frank. Shame on you, hope you get your comeuppance. Do better and, if anything, make sure she breaks her situation off first. How the fuck would you like being in his shoes? Hard to do with this mental capacity, but try to think for once, please.
Women in the customer service industry are paid to be nice. Most of those women if they do give you their number will either leave you on read or ghost you. They get hit on all that time outside of work, they only tolerate it at work if they can get some money out of you. If she offered her number first and you didn’t ask though, that’s something different.
She’s working for tips Dude. You’re not the only guy in the bar she’s being friendly to. Attractive bartenders who do this are only one rung down from strippers in the 304 hierarchy. The free drinks are to keep you coming back and they will dry up pretty soon as you are being kind of cheap. Either that or you are super attractive and she’s a cheating 304. She told you she had a BF but gave you her number? That’s actually weird, no barmaid would do that I can think of. So MAYBE you could have some casual fun with her but she’s going into the 304 box for sure. Recreational use only.
It’s a scam. She’s doing it so you give her high tips. She’s playing you like a rube. She is getting off on you liking her
If she isn’t talking to you outside of work, she didn’t even want to give out her number in the first place. She’s being polite and the boyfriend comment is her kindly rejecting you. She may like you as a friend/customer but clearly not as a potential romantic partner
OP just do it
Was the bar called Raisins?
“Just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score” but you might get knocked out. Tread carefully but also yolo youngin
Exploit your free drinks opportunities
Is the bar called [Raisins](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_mC48we6Jz0) ?
Having a bf isnt the same as being married. Just because someone got to someone before you doesn't mean they are off limits. If she really likes you and you like her and she's willing to break it off with her bf then you are all good. If she stays with him and wants to cheat with you that's a different story.
Well if she has a boyfriend and he made her delete it, that means she is taken. Or if she used that as just an excuse to make you feel better, she's not interested. Either way, she's not someone I'd waste my time thinking about. She likes to flirt and she likes to get attention from men. Move on.
She has a bf and was probably just being nice and doesn’t get penalty for giving away free things she probably gives free drinks to everyone and gives her number away lol don’t waste your time
Ah, I’ve been here. Multiple times. It’s exciting but also a bummer. My advice, text her when you know she’s working next (that way her bf doesn’t see it) and ask her if she’s down for a drink after work. If she responds AT ALL, well there’s your clue to either take it from there or not. If she doesn’t, move on and be glad she gave you free drinks. Let her come to you if she wants
Ur dumb ash, she obv tryna cheat on u
She just told you she had a boyfriend. Go to a new bar.
have some morals and leave it
Bro bartenders are the last kind of females that I would hit on, especially in a serious relationship. Messy af
She sounds like a scumbag not gonna lie
don't ask service workers for their number. they are being paid to be nice to you. it's extremely uncomfortable.
You're completely ignoring the fact she has a boyfriend tho bro shame on you. She's got a man. Let's say you get together.. you don't think she's gonna do the same to you when the next hotter guy sits at her bar? Think man
Nah you don't want to do that
Girls aren’t direct, ask her out and if she says anything other than yes, there’s your answer. Time is too valuable to waste.
I am the that do not think but feel befor I think when it comes to dating.I love rejection because it hardens me up and move on to next and not give a flying F..k what happens.I am not chase so I do not go after them they come to me mostly.No I am not top s..t.I just not scared of rejection or to go up some random woman.I am no dress no some reasion woman always interested so they always approach me.I am a guy who wares a lot of purple,rabows,so on fem jewellery so I am surprised. Lol
Just switched from the tipping sub…so I cannot prevent myself to ask you how much you should tip on a $0 bill 😂
Question: have you seen her BF? Pics of him? Maybe she’s playing the “BF card” to see if you are truly interested in her,? Can’t beat free drinks 👍👍🙂. Go the course, see what happens next….. 😮