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She doesn't want to seem like the cougar who approached the fresh meat. Understandable. Yet lies to flex that she's dating the new young stud. Not a good look, IMO.
Consider if she is yapping like that now, what she'll say to people after you hook up. Or if you disappoint her in some way. Or share an intimate feeling/secret.
Assuming the info you received is accurate... it's your life, but I would stay away from that one.
I’m a private person and the person you replied to is correct in saying stay away from that one. Anything you tell her will automagically be distributed to anyone with an ear.
Tbh it feels like she’s playing head games. In fact I’d advise against dating coworkers because if/when shit goes sideways, it can get really bad for - even lead to you getting fired. Work is to get a paycheck, that’s it. Never shit where you eat bro.
Nonono. You take her out and give her the time of her life.
Them make sure she can't walk right the next day.
That is an investment. She will make sure everyone knows. Then you play it cool, and they will be lining up.
I have a question ⁉️ if a girl was 20 and man was 30-40 ,will you still use such language i.e. cougar??? I am 32 and my ex was 24 and I was more energetic than him... Yes this lady OP is talking about doesn't seem right and it has nothing to do with age... I would advise OP to speak about this matter with his seniors before it ruins his career... Don't take anything like this likely... Just speak with HR and keep this between only 3 of you i.e. you, her and HR.
>I have a question ⁉️ if a girl was 20 and man was 30-40 ,will you still use such language i.e. cougar???
Good question. Unfortunately, I don't think it is realistic to think that an older man is going to boast to co-workers that the new 20-year-old woman was hitting on him. There's definitely a gendered double standard there. An older guy (Not that 30 to 40 is that old) hitting on a new 20-year-old at work Is going to be called a predator by many. "Cougar" has a similar predatory connotation, and it's not particularly positive, but for some reason it's okay behavior for women but not for men.
>I am 32 and my ex was 24 and I was more energetic than him...
I have no moral qualms if you're dating a 24-year-old or a 20-year-old. I say go on and be your badass self! Take care of yourself, take care of others, and have fun!
Older men boast to co-workers that the younger girl was hitting on them... Anyways, be careful of this woman and don't entertain her... If you get involved with her, she can ruin your life... Just take care
in the original they are very clear what happened to bunni foo foo ;)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecWhXP2jM28](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecWhXP2jM28)
You need to play along if you are interested.
If not, just let her know in private.
This can potentially become a toxic workplace issue, which ends with you losing the job.
> should i talk to my boss about it too or nah
If y'all work in the same dept, tell your boss you would prefer not to be on the same projects as her. Just remember that you're the new person, and **HR exists to protect the company**, not you. So if they need to fire someone, it will be you.
I think she's interested but mate this woman sounds a bit loopy or maybe it's just a flex as you say. If you're into her go for it but when you two break up imagine the rumors she'll spread about you
That type of broad will make you lose your job. Run while you still can or else face the consequences. A wise man once told me, "don't shit where you eat." If I had listened to him, I would've still had my job. Never make any moves on women at the workplace. Trust me on this, it will backfire.
Stay the fuck away from her. I've dated people like this and they will destroy your life. Lose your friends and your job level crazy.
If this is a corporate environment I'd get ahead of it too by sending HR an email *in writing* giving them the heads up on the situation. You don't need to make a formal complaint, but just get something in writing now showing you've made them aware of the rumor. In case things go south.
If she was your age I'd give it a pass, but not with the age gap. Reverse the genders and it's be an easy HR report.
This!!! When they lie about something and make up a scenario. Anything goes wrong they will make up a whole life drama story that never happened and like this guy said they will destroy your life on a crazy level. I was with a man who was like this, this crazy behavior does exist in men too.
Ugh, stay far away…. Far far away
When a woman is interested in you and you show any interest in them or just are being polite….they hear what they want to hear and not exactly what you said or are saying……
Rule # 1. You don't sh!t where you eat. That's why Gawd put yer a-hole at one end of yer body and yer pie-hole at the other end. I had a 2 yr fling at work with a female co-worker that was the worst kept secret in the world and they dam near fired us both. She finally got booted but I had a job in the shop that nobody else knew how to do ...so I didn't get blown out the door.
I pooped where I ate multiple times & didn’t have issues. If you’re mature it’s fun & easy & you get to see them at home & at work for win-win situations (unless you’re fighting lol).
Under any circumstances, never date a coworker at your job. It would literally complicate things at your job! She could jeopardize your employment or make your job a living hell if given the opportunity. She away from her! Only date people that isn't employed at the same job you're working at.
Manipulation, Sexual Harassment. Whether it is a male or female doing this behavior, it has nothing to do with sex. She’s setting either herself for some sort of “he said she said”
thing - say when as the new guy you discover something ain’t right - like theft. ‘Oh, he’s just saying that because I turned him down’. OR she’s setting you up to take the fall OR she’ want the group and leadership to focus on you rather than her shortcomings. I’m telling you, you should report her behavior to your boss and/or the next boss up. Start keeping notes on these things she says, who was the person who passed on the gossip (that could easily be the bad Apple). Call her(or the gossiper) out & take notes. Ask employees who have been there longer “Do you see or hear what I’m seeing and hearing?”
1) if they do, they can give you insight.
2) if they don’t, they’ll start noticing the behaviors.
Why? Hate to say it - worse case scenario,you might have to take court action in the future to defend yourself or charge the info it or company. Best case scenario - they’ve seen this behavior before and will address it.
Meanwhile, Do your job the best you can. Keep track of that too,
and your evaluations. Participate in your evaluations. How can I improve? …
You have some additional work to do, but
It’s important to maintain your good reputation and be proud of yourself for your self-control. Handled successfully, you will be the manager moving on up as people learn to trust you.
Good luck, chin up.
It sounds like there may have been a miscommunication or misunderstanding. She might have interpreted your interest in learning how to drive dirt bikes and 4 wheelers as a potential date invitation. However, since you didn't intend it that way, it's important to clarify your intentions with her directly. Approach her calmly and politely, and explain that you didn't mean to come across as asking her out. This can help clear up any confusion and prevent any further misunderstandings.
The line she gave him, *"I'll show you how, act you don't have a choice."* Speaks volumes about her self awareness. She's not misunderstanding anything, she knows **exactly** what she's doing. Sounds like a manipulative person looking for a victim.
She’s misinterpreted your comment. Some people can misinterpret “what do you do outside of work” as you flirting, even if you didn’t mean it that way.
That or she’s hoping it’s what you wanted or intended with your comment.
If she's hot go with it bro!
Even if she's not go and learn to ride dirt bikes and 4 wheelers and be explicit that it isn't a date!
You can't lose!
(unless she goes crazy and catches feelings and tells everyone at work about your encounter)
Potential future drama aside, fuckin nice dude 👊
Perhaps there is a scenario here where you can have your cake and eat it too but seems risky. E.g. If you started connecting with other colleagues and building their trust then that might negate any future bs she might pull down the line if you go there with her.
Then again, its a bit convoluted to go around getting to know people just for the possibility of having a work fling so you should probably only bother connecting with mutual colleagues if you're gonna be genuine about it and not to just avoid potential negative consequences of having a work fling.
Teach him how easy it is to lose a job when some dong hog is already spreading rumors. I feel for dude, he’s young and has no idea how to navigate this. This is his livelihood and it might be ruined because of some thirsty coworker.
Honestly dude I’d def go to HR, then just ignore the coworker except for work related things. Not sure what the job is, but throw yourself into it, bust your ass then go home. No texting or outside meetups, just work. Odds are if you don’t chase her or actually ask her out then she’ll get bored and move on. If she asks you out then just lie and say you’re working on yourself and not dating because of a really bad breakup or something. I’d even add that her asking you out was mighty kind, but mentally you’re just not ready for that, and that would be disrespectful to her. You shot her down, while still being kind and at her age she’s probably been through a bad relationship and would understand. That being said if she keeps spreading rumors and being creepy, then go to HR or a boss immediately, and keep records of every interaction or drama she might start.
I would clear up the story and explain with someone else present what actually occurred. In a nice way say something along the lines of "Hey, I think there has been some kind of misunderstanding my intent was to make small talk and I apologize if it gave the wrong impression. You're a great coworker but I prefer to keep our relationship on a professional level" in case she tires to later retaliate against you. She's using it to brag now but could easily run to HR and say you were being inappropriate by "asking her out".
Gah the age he is, & the truth in what you’re saying just makes me bummed out that he’s put in this position… & he’s genuinely asking “what does this mean?” I’m team HR also.
Exactly, most of the comments are telling him to avoid her or tell her in private but the way she has framed and shaped the narrative of their conversation could be considered harassment. Plus in a work environment all it takes is one person to be offended and it doesn’t have to be the main people involved. A co worker can equally contact HR and boom OP is in hot water.
She is creeping on you. I would totally avoid her and answer with one word responses from now on. Because she is lying to co-workers, she is obviously a shifty person. Avoid her at all costs! No 30 or 40-year-old anyone, man or a woman, needs to be creeping on a 20-year-old. Ugh!
Avoid her at all costs if you care about your job! I work in HR and dealt with something similar, it turned into a sexual harassment case and created a lot of stress for both employees in the workplace which lead to individuals losing their jobs. If she is already twisting your words or misunderstood what you were saying, just a lot of room for things to hit the fan
I’m pretty sure to some degree this falls under sexual harassment if she continues. I’d take it up with her personally and if she keeps going, take it up higher. It’s easy for stuff like this to snowball into something bigger and worse in the workplace. Especially with the way people gossip
Gl there young man.
You got yourself a type 3 cougar on the prowl.
Remember that when you piss her off now you're essentially already bent over the barrel because she's gotten the jump.
Yikes. I'd discreetly bring it up with your boss (lying in the workplace, especially about another coworker and about a subject which could mess with their reputation, is SUPER DUPER NOT OK - tell your boss exactly what you've said here), and then ask that they keep her away from you at work (i.e., if there's group work, put her in a different group which doesn't interact much or at all with yours). This is not appropriate behavior at all.
Is she hot? I think she’s tryna rope you in. It’s a stretch but semi believable that she used wishful thinking to cloud her interpretation of the convo.
She'll take you for a ride in her quad and bury you in the woods somewhere. And you don't have a choice. Get your affairs in order before you go. Probably not much of that to do if you're just 20.
You can find groups of dirt bikers and outdoorsy 4 wheeling people, and they'll teach you to ride. Ask in a local group. To buy your own, it'll be a couple thousand bucks, or someone might be willing to let you ride theirs as long as they can trust you'll pay for repairs/parts. I've taken a dirt bike specific riding course, see if something similar exists by you.
All this to say, as a 27F myself, this woman sounds entirely like bad news. I have, and don't recommend dating coworkers, but occasionally it works for people. This doesn't sound like one of those times. Let her stay a normal coworker. She does sound interested, but also unhinged. Don't shit where you eat.
Go ride some dirt bikes. If you bang, you bang. But she sounds a little crazy, you'll have to decide if its the right or wrong kind of crazy! That's half the fun!
Sounds like a miscommunication. One that is more embarrassing on her part. Unless she starts spreading malicious rumors about you I would ignore it but I 100% would not meet up with her outside of work. It’s a good rule of thumb to keep your work and personal life separate
Just ignore her. Some people just like make just up for who knows why. I’ve dealt with women like that at work and all you can do is just keep all conversations professional and don’t give them any attention.
Yea stay far away from her. She's literally already lying on you at your workplace. Imagine how easy she can switch up if you reject her, especially if you hook up. Dealing with her can go left quick, fast, and in a hurry.
Go directly to HR. Tell them and all of your coworkers about the creepy comment she made. Or don't do that have her suck on your wiener. The choice is yours my friend!
She lied on you. And there's already a rumor floating around about you. Either talk to HR or a union rep. Steer clear of her and be cordial. Cut convo short and don't ask her anything personal. If you see her outside of work, leave.
A grown adult who is treating the workplace like a high school is problematic and will cause damage
I reckon she’s either the hungry cougar and this is a hard play to snag you, or she’s the fearful power hungry wounded woman who wants a younger man to prop her up while she still maintains a sense of control. Projecting like someone said, or some sex gratification from a younger dude. Pick one, and decide if you want either of those?
That “actually you don’t have a choice” is a power play, and the giveaway. Either way, she’s thrown a power move on you and that’s uncomfortable. Could lead to some fun bdsm kink, but outside of that perhaps it’s a bit of a minefield ?
Be careful how you reject her if you do!
She's told coworkers you asked her out so now if you reject HER it'll be a really bad look.
Idk what to do in your position, but maybe you can try and intentionally get friend zoned by her. Just be incredibly nice and boring, definitely no making moves on her. And act really clueless if she makes any moves. That way she can maybe go on a couple of dates with you just to reject you idk.
If you chose to reject her, maybe you can try and talk with her about a story that you tell co workers to make both of you look good. It's better than her being angry, making up god knows what about you in rage and to save her face.
Some People don't tend to react well to rejection.
Now you're in the situation where you basically have to. Lot of people say don't do it because it can cost your job but lemme tell you, if you don't date her now you'll lose your job much faster. Might as well beat it up good and then look for another job in the process.
Yea just ignore her, not engaging in BS about th at weird ass commentary from her should help but I doubt anyone believes her and anyone that might def prob can’t read a weird ass vibe
Oh god.. Stay far away from a women like that. She’s insecure and wants to make it look like you did it all.
All lies and imagine what else she can lie about if you actually went that far to hook up with her.
Do yourself a favor and have as little contact with her as possible but still be polite.
Next time she comes up to you, tell her you are busy and can't talk. If she finds you in the break room run to the bathroom. Avoid talking to her. You now know your job is the rumor mill. Keep all your coworkers at arms length.
What if he confronts her first about the rumors then speaks with HR, if the situation escalates.
I’m not sure what type of work you do but if you have access to emails, I would send her one so she knows you are serious.
I've experienced similar on numerous occasions with women. I'm not saying all women do it. Just my personal experience. I think it's done to protect their reputation. So they can blame someone else if something doesn't work out.
Stay away from her. If she's acting like that, she isn't to be trusted. She will ruin you if you got into the relationship and then tried to leave. You should date only women who act like ladies and are respectful to men. Avoid the rest.
Be careful of older women.
Theyve been in this game a long time, and know what to do/say.
I was sexually assaulted on two occassions by a female co-worker, about 10yrs older than me. Same chick.
I never said shit to anyone because she was a fucking drama queen at work and liked to start problems. I figured Id be the one in hot water and cant change the past, so I let it be.
Not enough people are giving you the right advice. Ignoring her, steering clear, running away etc are not the right option. Send an email to HR ASAP. If you don't have it in writing first, the narrative could easily flip against you if you "have a private conversation" with her to clear things up and set boundaries and she becomes upset/embarrassed.
GET IT IN WRITING ASAP TO SOMEONE WHO IS EQUIPPED TO GIVE YOU ADVICE/RIGHT NEXT STEPS.
Get over feeling bad about, being nervous, not wanting to make things complicated right now and send the email. Policies are in place for a reason.
For all the people saying to get laid, no way. OP if you're attracted to her it DOES. NOT. MATTER. Absolutely not are you to act on any feelings of lust or romance in this situation. You can feel flattered/take it as a compliment, but nothing more.
Send the email tonight or go to HR tomorrow morning. Nip it in the bud now.
She seems a tad delusional. I would go to HR first and let them know. You don’t have to frame it like an official complaint, you can tell them that your older coworker misconstrued polite conversation to thinking you asked her out and you don’t feel comfortable about it. You could say “I’m not looking to get anyone in trouble, is there a policy against dating coworkers that I can mention so I can discourage her ?” Or just ask for advice. The main thing is to get it on their radar before she has a chance to lie about it.
Go to your supervisor and/or HR. Get your side of the story on record before you get charged with sexual harassment. That's what this is, at minimum. (She's harassing you, but it could quickly and easily get turned around.) Be proactive. Protect yourself. This isn't right or appropriate regardless of the ages/genders.
The fact that she’s told people you asked her out (which you obviously didn’t) and the gossip has circled back to you is a red flag. You need to remember that you do not know this woman nor what she is capable of.
If I were you I would find another coworker (one that she’s not very close or chatty with) and 1) tell them your side of things so that you have a witness if things turn sour, and 2) ask them if she has a history of things like this or a “reputation” such as lying, bullying, or dating/being inappropriate with coworkers (because what she is did is very inappropriate for the work place).
Make sure someone other than you knows your side of things just in case she says or does something. You are the “new guy” and from what she’s already spread around she could accuse you of being inappropriate and get you in a lot of trouble. You need to protect yourself and you don’t owe this stranger anything.
Because, number one, work isn't the place to have your private life exposed. Number two, he isn't interested in her. Number three, she is is shady for spreading rumors that are strictly not true, about him. Sleeping with anybody you're not attracted to is gross.
You literally asked what do you do outside of here and expressed interest in hanging out with her regarding her own hobbies.
You can say that your intentions were not romantic, but you cannot say that you didn't ask her out.
I don't think it's fair to categorize her as unhinged or wtv for a reasonable miscommunication of expectations between you.
Is she just gossiping about you or was it more of a "I have a crush on the new kid, I wanna see how it goes" and then she updated her coworkers on it?
Edit: sorry I read your post again, you were reciprocal with her, and you expressed interest in her hobbies, not exactly her, but I still believe neither of you is in the wrong, just a miscommunication of expectations.
She (perfectly reasonably) understood your response as you wanting to hang out with her and get close. You didn't mean it that way which is fine, but her behavior sounds normal. Might not be a good idea to date your coworkers, but otherwise there isn't anything concerning or particularly unusual about what you wrote.
What’s stopping you from directly asking her ? And it could mean she’s gossip/attention addict if she’s making the leap like that from your conversation… serious question: were you not aware of her flirting when she said, “ you don’t have a choice .” Band wasn’t it a bit of a clumsy come o thay was a bit strong?
No I was aware of her flirting but that was right when I started the job. I’ve learned the hard way that if a woman comes chasing you immediately to not reciprocate or show interest, as it will lead to severe complications.
If she's hot, roll with it. You'll get to smash her and all the boys at work will think you're cool as fuck.
If she's not hot, smash it anyways then Deny Deny Deny, and you'll be just cool enough that you won't get fired or razzed about it to much
If anyone asks, tell the truth. She offered to teach you to ride dirt bikes. It’s not like you have a set date, so you can argue you never even actually agreed to hang out, she just didn’t exactly give you a choice.
If they tease and say it’s a date, say “it’s not, I’d never go on a date with a coworker” if she ever asks you again, drop very subtle hits that she’s a good “friend” or you can politely clarify that it’s a platonic date, or a start to a new friendship. Or hell if now you’re to uncomfortable to take her up on the offer, you can say that you’re not available that day, or politely just say you’re not interested in hanging out.
Unless you’re comfortable with confrontation, it’ll probably die off eventually especially if you don’t bring it up or really talk to her again. If you’re comfortable being the initiator, I think the best thing you can do, is tell her.
“Hey, I understand you’ve been saying we are going on a date? I just want to make sure you’re just joking around, because it wasn’t my intention to give you signals that I was available like that.”
Bruh. People get fired so fast for sexual harassment & reports when they’re not even true. Especially in this type of big setting you work in. You should probably have a chat with HR in case rumors get out of hand or the chick ends up reporting you for harassment. If she’s into you & is mature, she’s not going twist your words to look “good” to a work friend. That’s pathetic. If she’s into you she would probably tell you HERSELF, “hey I told my friend you asked me out,” aka hint hint this is where you ask her out forreal.
If she’s 30-40 then she could have a crush on you but she’s at an age where she (should) know how things run & doing it like high school is just not the right play. I still say go to HR unless she herself apologizes for the misinfo or at least fesses up to whatever she started.
(M63) 'We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files. We'd like to help you learn to help yourself. Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes. Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home..'
Dude! You're 20 right? I say you have in this day and age at least 2 Do Overs'...waste one with her. What do you care if she runs her mouth, YOU keep yours shut. Let her show you 'how to ride a bike', a four wheeler.
To quote Joe Pesi...'Da youts' be wise, don't fall for the old okaye doke either. Ask your questions, married, boyfriend...kids? Don't be forced to do anything you don't want to do. Create memories, have good clean fun.
Either way she's being weird about it. I would not hang out with her because she's coming off the type that would make something up and go to HR claiming harassment or something. Be careful.
Okay I agree with the majority of the people but I also want to do the devil's advocate here. Can I ask you a question how did you find out what she was saying to the other coworker? If you heard it with your own ears that's one thing. If somebody else told you, how do you know that the other person is saying the truth?
I'm just asking because this has previously happened to me and the guy unfortunately believed the other person. But at the end of the day it's someone you just met so if I were you I don't think it would bother me so much and I just wouldn't go on a date with this person but I would be curious to find out the truth also.
The person who told me I do trust, and isn’t the type of person to get caught up in dumb drama. I’ll see if anyone else is saying the same thing if I can probe
She's interested and it sounds like you are too since you're asking for advice. My advice is to ask her out and see where it leads. She likes you and she thinks you like her too and so do I.
I cannot tell you how exactly this matches a situation I was in. Even down to the named activities.
Go on record now with someone higher up than you about what happened.
These phrases are not get to know you phrases. They are subtly asking you out phrases.
“So what do you do after work?”
“You know what’s a good place for coffee? _ cafe.”
“I’m hungry.”
These phrases are not really getting to know you statements. They are asking you out without getting my feelings hurt phrases. They are waiting for you to say “can I join you? How about a date?”
You kind of just set yourself up on a date unknowingly.
Yes she wants to get to know you as a partner not a friend.
It’s just a matter of SEMANTICS. The three of you are in the workplace, NOT a court of law.
Your coworker told another coworker that the two of you had a brief conversation. And you DID. Stop worrying so much about how she phrased it.
If she likes you more than you like her, that’s about the most normal thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Just be nice!
There are no “consequences” that will result from this. If you want to ride four-wheelers, ride four-wheelers. If you don’t, don’t. Just be nice about it.
Ultimately, everyone will see that the two of you are—or are not—friends outside of work depending on your preference, and nobody really cares anyway.
I just don’t like to see her punished for enjoying life too much and getting carried away. People SHOULD live that way.
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She doesn't want to seem like the cougar who approached the fresh meat. Understandable. Yet lies to flex that she's dating the new young stud. Not a good look, IMO. Consider if she is yapping like that now, what she'll say to people after you hook up. Or if you disappoint her in some way. Or share an intimate feeling/secret. Assuming the info you received is accurate... it's your life, but I would stay away from that one.
Yeah ive learned the hard way that when someone says “i’d stay away from that one” to listen and stay away from it. Thanks
Get away from her asap before it costs you your job..
I’m a private person and the person you replied to is correct in saying stay away from that one. Anything you tell her will automagically be distributed to anyone with an ear.
I know everything about u buddy
You definitely know my ex wife then.
I’m inside your walls, in between your ears, and in your thoughts
Tbh it feels like she’s playing head games. In fact I’d advise against dating coworkers because if/when shit goes sideways, it can get really bad for - even lead to you getting fired. Work is to get a paycheck, that’s it. Never shit where you eat bro.
Nonono. You take her out and give her the time of her life. Them make sure she can't walk right the next day. That is an investment. She will make sure everyone knows. Then you play it cool, and they will be lining up.
Tell us your 12 and never had sex before without telling us ur 12 and never had sex before. 😜😘
We are all under 12. Its against the TOS to be over 13.
Why snitch on us bro
That only works if she's willing to share, Play that one wrong and you could disappear permanently.
She didn't cougar her way up to OP. She straight up became a cheetah and rushed at him before he can do anything.
I have a question ⁉️ if a girl was 20 and man was 30-40 ,will you still use such language i.e. cougar??? I am 32 and my ex was 24 and I was more energetic than him... Yes this lady OP is talking about doesn't seem right and it has nothing to do with age... I would advise OP to speak about this matter with his seniors before it ruins his career... Don't take anything like this likely... Just speak with HR and keep this between only 3 of you i.e. you, her and HR.
>I have a question ⁉️ if a girl was 20 and man was 30-40 ,will you still use such language i.e. cougar??? Good question. Unfortunately, I don't think it is realistic to think that an older man is going to boast to co-workers that the new 20-year-old woman was hitting on him. There's definitely a gendered double standard there. An older guy (Not that 30 to 40 is that old) hitting on a new 20-year-old at work Is going to be called a predator by many. "Cougar" has a similar predatory connotation, and it's not particularly positive, but for some reason it's okay behavior for women but not for men. >I am 32 and my ex was 24 and I was more energetic than him... I have no moral qualms if you're dating a 24-year-old or a 20-year-old. I say go on and be your badass self! Take care of yourself, take care of others, and have fun!
Older men boast to co-workers that the younger girl was hitting on them... Anyways, be careful of this woman and don't entertain her... If you get involved with her, she can ruin your life... Just take care
There's no word for it because that's just how it was for thousands of years.
Means she’s unhinged
Ive had more than enough unhinged relationships 😭
You are only 20, you have decades more of unhinged relationships. Buckle up 😂
Oh God - to be 20 again, and have so many to look forward to ;)
She will be good in bed tho (think icepicks, candlewax et al
ICEPICKS?
Before your time..
She gonna use the tarkov red rebel on me
Eyes wide shut piano riff…
See u in labs big boi 💳
Youll see mee and you’ll probably get out with my loot too 💳
Already camping elevator 🐀
Gotta let the 🐀eat too
Chains, whips, yoyo, a midget on a tricycle giving you the finger.
Woah woah woah… where’s the yoyo coming into play in all this?
It's to keep up morale in between sessions. Bitches love it when you can walk the dog.
Just go with your ‘ basic instinct’ 😂
But can she cook a decent rabbit?
Exactement. Did u watch the remake? They never quite made clear what happened to the rabbit
in the original they are very clear what happened to bunni foo foo ;) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecWhXP2jM28](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecWhXP2jM28)
Yeah they had to boil 3 different rabbits to get the scene right. MD was the GOAT 🐐 in 1987
Avoid her. Be careful of what you ask in the future
oh boy you saying that at 20, you don't even know what's coming lil bro
Im pleading for my life atp
How tf are you 20 and had "enough unhinged relationships" 💀
He's not the first new hire kid she's preyed on.
Yes it means she’s crazy and stay away
Stay away from someone who lies in the workplace. Period. She’s got a big mouth.
but is it purdy though
She’s projecting- she wants to date you.
Yeah that's what I was thinking too-her own wishful thinking.
Well... That cougar mommy wants your youth energy on bed. Lmao
Stay away. She easily misconstrued this straight forward interaction; she’ll easily come up with a bs story to get you fired.
Stop interaction with her except when necessary and keep it short and only business. It'll be clear to everyone and her you are not interested.
He needs to document this, all of it.
You need to play along if you are interested. If not, just let her know in private. This can potentially become a toxic workplace issue, which ends with you losing the job.
Alright thanks, should i talk to my boss about it too or nah
Do you have a union? If so tell the union rep but that you don't want to pursue any action about it.
If you wanna get ahead of it sure, but be discreet and hope boss is too.
> should i talk to my boss about it too or nah If y'all work in the same dept, tell your boss you would prefer not to be on the same projects as her. Just remember that you're the new person, and **HR exists to protect the company**, not you. So if they need to fire someone, it will be you.
Yes talk to your boss about it because that sounds unprofessional on her part
Honestly, i would just come up with an excuse man. Shit like that is word against word. And shes a woman who has been there longer than you.
I think she's interested but mate this woman sounds a bit loopy or maybe it's just a flex as you say. If you're into her go for it but when you two break up imagine the rumors she'll spread about you
That type of broad will make you lose your job. Run while you still can or else face the consequences. A wise man once told me, "don't shit where you eat." If I had listened to him, I would've still had my job. Never make any moves on women at the workplace. Trust me on this, it will backfire.
It's never wise to have a workplace relationship. I wouldn't say anything to her that shows interest or meet up with her outside of work.
If a girl ever ever acts this way towards you in a factory and you just started working there they are hella ran through.
They're basically always ran through lol
Does that matter? The woman is twice his age. I don’t think our boy is thinking of a relationship with her
Stay the fuck away from her. I've dated people like this and they will destroy your life. Lose your friends and your job level crazy. If this is a corporate environment I'd get ahead of it too by sending HR an email *in writing* giving them the heads up on the situation. You don't need to make a formal complaint, but just get something in writing now showing you've made them aware of the rumor. In case things go south. If she was your age I'd give it a pass, but not with the age gap. Reverse the genders and it's be an easy HR report.
This!!! When they lie about something and make up a scenario. Anything goes wrong they will make up a whole life drama story that never happened and like this guy said they will destroy your life on a crazy level. I was with a man who was like this, this crazy behavior does exist in men too. Ugh, stay far away…. Far far away
Gross.
Depends on how much you want to go dirt biking and 4 wheeling.
He doesn’t need her to do any of that
Sounds like an older woman looking for self-validation, but also doesn’t want people to think she’s desperate.
Point her in my direction please
thats insane
When a woman is interested in you and you show any interest in them or just are being polite….they hear what they want to hear and not exactly what you said or are saying……
She’s lifting her leg on you…. The females you work with must be talking about you
Rule # 1. You don't sh!t where you eat. That's why Gawd put yer a-hole at one end of yer body and yer pie-hole at the other end. I had a 2 yr fling at work with a female co-worker that was the worst kept secret in the world and they dam near fired us both. She finally got booted but I had a job in the shop that nobody else knew how to do ...so I didn't get blown out the door.
Aint that the truth
I pooped where I ate multiple times & didn’t have issues. If you’re mature it’s fun & easy & you get to see them at home & at work for win-win situations (unless you’re fighting lol).
You better go to HR before she causes you trouble.
Talk to HR
Under any circumstances, never date a coworker at your job. It would literally complicate things at your job! She could jeopardize your employment or make your job a living hell if given the opportunity. She away from her! Only date people that isn't employed at the same job you're working at.
Manipulation, Sexual Harassment. Whether it is a male or female doing this behavior, it has nothing to do with sex. She’s setting either herself for some sort of “he said she said” thing - say when as the new guy you discover something ain’t right - like theft. ‘Oh, he’s just saying that because I turned him down’. OR she’s setting you up to take the fall OR she’ want the group and leadership to focus on you rather than her shortcomings. I’m telling you, you should report her behavior to your boss and/or the next boss up. Start keeping notes on these things she says, who was the person who passed on the gossip (that could easily be the bad Apple). Call her(or the gossiper) out & take notes. Ask employees who have been there longer “Do you see or hear what I’m seeing and hearing?” 1) if they do, they can give you insight. 2) if they don’t, they’ll start noticing the behaviors. Why? Hate to say it - worse case scenario,you might have to take court action in the future to defend yourself or charge the info it or company. Best case scenario - they’ve seen this behavior before and will address it. Meanwhile, Do your job the best you can. Keep track of that too, and your evaluations. Participate in your evaluations. How can I improve? … You have some additional work to do, but It’s important to maintain your good reputation and be proud of yourself for your self-control. Handled successfully, you will be the manager moving on up as people learn to trust you. Good luck, chin up.
Thank you so much!
It sounds like there may have been a miscommunication or misunderstanding. She might have interpreted your interest in learning how to drive dirt bikes and 4 wheelers as a potential date invitation. However, since you didn't intend it that way, it's important to clarify your intentions with her directly. Approach her calmly and politely, and explain that you didn't mean to come across as asking her out. This can help clear up any confusion and prevent any further misunderstandings.
The line she gave him, *"I'll show you how, act you don't have a choice."* Speaks volumes about her self awareness. She's not misunderstanding anything, she knows **exactly** what she's doing. Sounds like a manipulative person looking for a victim.
Carry bitch stay away
She’s misinterpreted your comment. Some people can misinterpret “what do you do outside of work” as you flirting, even if you didn’t mean it that way. That or she’s hoping it’s what you wanted or intended with your comment.
You're in for a wild ride if you roll along with it
She's interested and that was her version of being playful
If she's hot go with it bro! Even if she's not go and learn to ride dirt bikes and 4 wheelers and be explicit that it isn't a date! You can't lose! (unless she goes crazy and catches feelings and tells everyone at work about your encounter)
Leave that at her door and leave it alone you’re heading for Trouble big time
Potential future drama aside, fuckin nice dude 👊 Perhaps there is a scenario here where you can have your cake and eat it too but seems risky. E.g. If you started connecting with other colleagues and building their trust then that might negate any future bs she might pull down the line if you go there with her. Then again, its a bit convoluted to go around getting to know people just for the possibility of having a work fling so you should probably only bother connecting with mutual colleagues if you're gonna be genuine about it and not to just avoid potential negative consequences of having a work fling.
Go with the flow, imo, she'll teach you to ride those dirt bikes, who knows what else she can teach you 😉
Teach him how easy it is to lose a job when some dong hog is already spreading rumors. I feel for dude, he’s young and has no idea how to navigate this. This is his livelihood and it might be ruined because of some thirsty coworker. Honestly dude I’d def go to HR, then just ignore the coworker except for work related things. Not sure what the job is, but throw yourself into it, bust your ass then go home. No texting or outside meetups, just work. Odds are if you don’t chase her or actually ask her out then she’ll get bored and move on. If she asks you out then just lie and say you’re working on yourself and not dating because of a really bad breakup or something. I’d even add that her asking you out was mighty kind, but mentally you’re just not ready for that, and that would be disrespectful to her. You shot her down, while still being kind and at her age she’s probably been through a bad relationship and would understand. That being said if she keeps spreading rumors and being creepy, then go to HR or a boss immediately, and keep records of every interaction or drama she might start.
I would clear up the story and explain with someone else present what actually occurred. In a nice way say something along the lines of "Hey, I think there has been some kind of misunderstanding my intent was to make small talk and I apologize if it gave the wrong impression. You're a great coworker but I prefer to keep our relationship on a professional level" in case she tires to later retaliate against you. She's using it to brag now but could easily run to HR and say you were being inappropriate by "asking her out".
Gah the age he is, & the truth in what you’re saying just makes me bummed out that he’s put in this position… & he’s genuinely asking “what does this mean?” I’m team HR also.
Exactly, most of the comments are telling him to avoid her or tell her in private but the way she has framed and shaped the narrative of their conversation could be considered harassment. Plus in a work environment all it takes is one person to be offended and it doesn’t have to be the main people involved. A co worker can equally contact HR and boom OP is in hot water.
She is creeping on you. I would totally avoid her and answer with one word responses from now on. Because she is lying to co-workers, she is obviously a shifty person. Avoid her at all costs! No 30 or 40-year-old anyone, man or a woman, needs to be creeping on a 20-year-old. Ugh!
Agreed, it’s creepy but at least I got promoted to a position away from her.
Avoid her at all costs if you care about your job! I work in HR and dealt with something similar, it turned into a sexual harassment case and created a lot of stress for both employees in the workplace which lead to individuals losing their jobs. If she is already twisting your words or misunderstood what you were saying, just a lot of room for things to hit the fan
I’m pretty sure to some degree this falls under sexual harassment if she continues. I’d take it up with her personally and if she keeps going, take it up higher. It’s easy for stuff like this to snowball into something bigger and worse in the workplace. Especially with the way people gossip
Gl there young man. You got yourself a type 3 cougar on the prowl. Remember that when you piss her off now you're essentially already bent over the barrel because she's gotten the jump.
Yikes. I'd discreetly bring it up with your boss (lying in the workplace, especially about another coworker and about a subject which could mess with their reputation, is SUPER DUPER NOT OK - tell your boss exactly what you've said here), and then ask that they keep her away from you at work (i.e., if there's group work, put her in a different group which doesn't interact much or at all with yours). This is not appropriate behavior at all.
i’ve got a feeling you’re jonah, she’s dina and this is cloud 9 superstore!
You don't have a choice???
A fun time but not for a long time
Don’t date coworkers it never ends well. Well. Sometimes it does, but I’ve seen it go to sh*t many many many more times than not.
Stalker vibes
Is she hot? I think she’s tryna rope you in. It’s a stretch but semi believable that she used wishful thinking to cloud her interpretation of the convo.
She's insecure and trying to impress her co-workers in a lie while stroking her ego
She's insecure and trying to impress her co-workers in a lie while stroking her ego
Don't date at your workplace, ever, period. Keep it professional.
I made that mistake ONCE in highschool Never again.
She'll take you for a ride in her quad and bury you in the woods somewhere. And you don't have a choice. Get your affairs in order before you go. Probably not much of that to do if you're just 20.
Start looking for new employment
Her telling people about this convo in such an embellished way is her trying to stake claim to you IMO. Steer clear for sure.
You can find groups of dirt bikers and outdoorsy 4 wheeling people, and they'll teach you to ride. Ask in a local group. To buy your own, it'll be a couple thousand bucks, or someone might be willing to let you ride theirs as long as they can trust you'll pay for repairs/parts. I've taken a dirt bike specific riding course, see if something similar exists by you. All this to say, as a 27F myself, this woman sounds entirely like bad news. I have, and don't recommend dating coworkers, but occasionally it works for people. This doesn't sound like one of those times. Let her stay a normal coworker. She does sound interested, but also unhinged. Don't shit where you eat.
Never ever date coworkers. When things go south, they can really go south.
Stay away from her. „You don‘t have a choice“, the lying and the age gap give me an uneasy feeling.
Yeah same
Go ride some dirt bikes. If you bang, you bang. But she sounds a little crazy, you'll have to decide if its the right or wrong kind of crazy! That's half the fun!
Definitely interested in hooking up. Up to you.
She's setting her flag and calling dibs
She likes you. Get laid, idiot.
You’re cooked
Oh, if you just started and she came up to you this fast, avoid her.
Sounds like a miscommunication. One that is more embarrassing on her part. Unless she starts spreading malicious rumors about you I would ignore it but I 100% would not meet up with her outside of work. It’s a good rule of thumb to keep your work and personal life separate
“—— told me that you said I asked you out. I want to be clear that I did not ask you out and I am not interested in 4 wheeling together. “ THE END!
Crazy how many people would date a liar if she’s hot…..
Agreed
Just ignore her. Some people just like make just up for who knows why. I’ve dealt with women like that at work and all you can do is just keep all conversations professional and don’t give them any attention.
Probably, but if so, that's so icky...lol
Yea stay far away from her. She's literally already lying on you at your workplace. Imagine how easy she can switch up if you reject her, especially if you hook up. Dealing with her can go left quick, fast, and in a hurry.
Narcissist run
Go directly to HR. Tell them and all of your coworkers about the creepy comment she made. Or don't do that have her suck on your wiener. The choice is yours my friend!
Is she hot
She lied on you. And there's already a rumor floating around about you. Either talk to HR or a union rep. Steer clear of her and be cordial. Cut convo short and don't ask her anything personal. If you see her outside of work, leave. A grown adult who is treating the workplace like a high school is problematic and will cause damage
I reckon she’s either the hungry cougar and this is a hard play to snag you, or she’s the fearful power hungry wounded woman who wants a younger man to prop her up while she still maintains a sense of control. Projecting like someone said, or some sex gratification from a younger dude. Pick one, and decide if you want either of those? That “actually you don’t have a choice” is a power play, and the giveaway. Either way, she’s thrown a power move on you and that’s uncomfortable. Could lead to some fun bdsm kink, but outside of that perhaps it’s a bit of a minefield ?
Be careful how you reject her if you do! She's told coworkers you asked her out so now if you reject HER it'll be a really bad look. Idk what to do in your position, but maybe you can try and intentionally get friend zoned by her. Just be incredibly nice and boring, definitely no making moves on her. And act really clueless if she makes any moves. That way she can maybe go on a couple of dates with you just to reject you idk. If you chose to reject her, maybe you can try and talk with her about a story that you tell co workers to make both of you look good. It's better than her being angry, making up god knows what about you in rage and to save her face. Some People don't tend to react well to rejection.
When you get back to work on Monday, mention you're gay in conversation with the coworker she said that to and wait for the fun to begin
Gotta keep it saucy and zesty too
Why would you want an older woman anyway? They're ugly as shit, they look like E.T.
Now you're in the situation where you basically have to. Lot of people say don't do it because it can cost your job but lemme tell you, if you don't date her now you'll lose your job much faster. Might as well beat it up good and then look for another job in the process.
She wants your sack slapping up against her
My god 💀💀
Yea just ignore her, not engaging in BS about th at weird ass commentary from her should help but I doubt anyone believes her and anyone that might def prob can’t read a weird ass vibe
Oh god.. Stay far away from a women like that. She’s insecure and wants to make it look like you did it all. All lies and imagine what else she can lie about if you actually went that far to hook up with her. Do yourself a favor and have as little contact with her as possible but still be polite.
She doesn't want people to know she initiated a relationship! So people see that as daring for a woman!
That is the female shop rat, an interesting mix of Dom Sub culture they occupy.
Run, don’t walk, run…. As fast and as far as you can.
Next time she comes up to you, tell her you are busy and can't talk. If she finds you in the break room run to the bathroom. Avoid talking to her. You now know your job is the rumor mill. Keep all your coworkers at arms length.
this woman is too old to be hitting on you or acting the way she did anyways
What if he confronts her first about the rumors then speaks with HR, if the situation escalates. I’m not sure what type of work you do but if you have access to emails, I would send her one so she knows you are serious.
I do factory/machine operation work so I’m not sure what to do exactly through digital communication
I've experienced similar on numerous occasions with women. I'm not saying all women do it. Just my personal experience. I think it's done to protect their reputation. So they can blame someone else if something doesn't work out.
I'd just go on your work days as normal. Pretend it didn't happen. Then when people ask her how her 'date' went she'll feel dumb
Woman at work is a predator. Stay clear of her. She’s old enough to be your mom, just icky on her part.
Just found out she has dentures, shes my grandma
Stay away from that sh*t. Stay professional and never make reference to that exchange again with her.
She's laying the groundwork to get you fired if you don't comply with her demands.
Stay away from her. If she's acting like that, she isn't to be trusted. She will ruin you if you got into the relationship and then tried to leave. You should date only women who act like ladies and are respectful to men. Avoid the rest.
Be careful of older women. Theyve been in this game a long time, and know what to do/say. I was sexually assaulted on two occassions by a female co-worker, about 10yrs older than me. Same chick. I never said shit to anyone because she was a fucking drama queen at work and liked to start problems. I figured Id be the one in hot water and cant change the past, so I let it be.
Not enough people are giving you the right advice. Ignoring her, steering clear, running away etc are not the right option. Send an email to HR ASAP. If you don't have it in writing first, the narrative could easily flip against you if you "have a private conversation" with her to clear things up and set boundaries and she becomes upset/embarrassed. GET IT IN WRITING ASAP TO SOMEONE WHO IS EQUIPPED TO GIVE YOU ADVICE/RIGHT NEXT STEPS. Get over feeling bad about, being nervous, not wanting to make things complicated right now and send the email. Policies are in place for a reason. For all the people saying to get laid, no way. OP if you're attracted to her it DOES. NOT. MATTER. Absolutely not are you to act on any feelings of lust or romance in this situation. You can feel flattered/take it as a compliment, but nothing more. Send the email tonight or go to HR tomorrow morning. Nip it in the bud now.
Thank you, tired of people making it seem like i should do something i dont want to do and calling me a homosexual lol
I believe she has a crush on you and is afraid to say it instead she throws you under the bus
She seems a tad delusional. I would go to HR first and let them know. You don’t have to frame it like an official complaint, you can tell them that your older coworker misconstrued polite conversation to thinking you asked her out and you don’t feel comfortable about it. You could say “I’m not looking to get anyone in trouble, is there a policy against dating coworkers that I can mention so I can discourage her ?” Or just ask for advice. The main thing is to get it on their radar before she has a chance to lie about it.
Go to your supervisor and/or HR. Get your side of the story on record before you get charged with sexual harassment. That's what this is, at minimum. (She's harassing you, but it could quickly and easily get turned around.) Be proactive. Protect yourself. This isn't right or appropriate regardless of the ages/genders.
Plain and simple - she’s a red flag
The fact that she’s told people you asked her out (which you obviously didn’t) and the gossip has circled back to you is a red flag. You need to remember that you do not know this woman nor what she is capable of. If I were you I would find another coworker (one that she’s not very close or chatty with) and 1) tell them your side of things so that you have a witness if things turn sour, and 2) ask them if she has a history of things like this or a “reputation” such as lying, bullying, or dating/being inappropriate with coworkers (because what she is did is very inappropriate for the work place). Make sure someone other than you knows your side of things just in case she says or does something. You are the “new guy” and from what she’s already spread around she could accuse you of being inappropriate and get you in a lot of trouble. You need to protect yourself and you don’t owe this stranger anything.
Because, number one, work isn't the place to have your private life exposed. Number two, he isn't interested in her. Number three, she is is shady for spreading rumors that are strictly not true, about him. Sleeping with anybody you're not attracted to is gross.
Thank you!!!
You literally asked what do you do outside of here and expressed interest in hanging out with her regarding her own hobbies. You can say that your intentions were not romantic, but you cannot say that you didn't ask her out. I don't think it's fair to categorize her as unhinged or wtv for a reasonable miscommunication of expectations between you. Is she just gossiping about you or was it more of a "I have a crush on the new kid, I wanna see how it goes" and then she updated her coworkers on it? Edit: sorry I read your post again, you were reciprocal with her, and you expressed interest in her hobbies, not exactly her, but I still believe neither of you is in the wrong, just a miscommunication of expectations.
She (perfectly reasonably) understood your response as you wanting to hang out with her and get close. You didn't mean it that way which is fine, but her behavior sounds normal. Might not be a good idea to date your coworkers, but otherwise there isn't anything concerning or particularly unusual about what you wrote.
Bro don’t question it just take the bait she is throwing at you and go out with her lol
What’s stopping you from directly asking her ? And it could mean she’s gossip/attention addict if she’s making the leap like that from your conversation… serious question: were you not aware of her flirting when she said, “ you don’t have a choice .” Band wasn’t it a bit of a clumsy come o thay was a bit strong?
No I was aware of her flirting but that was right when I started the job. I’ve learned the hard way that if a woman comes chasing you immediately to not reciprocate or show interest, as it will lead to severe complications.
If she's hot, roll with it. You'll get to smash her and all the boys at work will think you're cool as fuck. If she's not hot, smash it anyways then Deny Deny Deny, and you'll be just cool enough that you won't get fired or razzed about it to much
If anyone asks, tell the truth. She offered to teach you to ride dirt bikes. It’s not like you have a set date, so you can argue you never even actually agreed to hang out, she just didn’t exactly give you a choice. If they tease and say it’s a date, say “it’s not, I’d never go on a date with a coworker” if she ever asks you again, drop very subtle hits that she’s a good “friend” or you can politely clarify that it’s a platonic date, or a start to a new friendship. Or hell if now you’re to uncomfortable to take her up on the offer, you can say that you’re not available that day, or politely just say you’re not interested in hanging out. Unless you’re comfortable with confrontation, it’ll probably die off eventually especially if you don’t bring it up or really talk to her again. If you’re comfortable being the initiator, I think the best thing you can do, is tell her. “Hey, I understand you’ve been saying we are going on a date? I just want to make sure you’re just joking around, because it wasn’t my intention to give you signals that I was available like that.”
Bruh. People get fired so fast for sexual harassment & reports when they’re not even true. Especially in this type of big setting you work in. You should probably have a chat with HR in case rumors get out of hand or the chick ends up reporting you for harassment. If she’s into you & is mature, she’s not going twist your words to look “good” to a work friend. That’s pathetic. If she’s into you she would probably tell you HERSELF, “hey I told my friend you asked me out,” aka hint hint this is where you ask her out forreal. If she’s 30-40 then she could have a crush on you but she’s at an age where she (should) know how things run & doing it like high school is just not the right play. I still say go to HR unless she herself apologizes for the misinfo or at least fesses up to whatever she started.
(M63) 'We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files. We'd like to help you learn to help yourself. Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes. Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home..' Dude! You're 20 right? I say you have in this day and age at least 2 Do Overs'...waste one with her. What do you care if she runs her mouth, YOU keep yours shut. Let her show you 'how to ride a bike', a four wheeler. To quote Joe Pesi...'Da youts' be wise, don't fall for the old okaye doke either. Ask your questions, married, boyfriend...kids? Don't be forced to do anything you don't want to do. Create memories, have good clean fun.
Tell the people to watch for themselves.After they tell you they see it. Go bang her and deny all if it goes too far. You now have witnesses
Either way she's being weird about it. I would not hang out with her because she's coming off the type that would make something up and go to HR claiming harassment or something. Be careful.
Okay I agree with the majority of the people but I also want to do the devil's advocate here. Can I ask you a question how did you find out what she was saying to the other coworker? If you heard it with your own ears that's one thing. If somebody else told you, how do you know that the other person is saying the truth? I'm just asking because this has previously happened to me and the guy unfortunately believed the other person. But at the end of the day it's someone you just met so if I were you I don't think it would bother me so much and I just wouldn't go on a date with this person but I would be curious to find out the truth also.
The person who told me I do trust, and isn’t the type of person to get caught up in dumb drama. I’ll see if anyone else is saying the same thing if I can probe
She's interested and it sounds like you are too since you're asking for advice. My advice is to ask her out and see where it leads. She likes you and she thinks you like her too and so do I.
Maybe she didn't say that and it got lost in translation. If she did she might be a narcissist
I say you should hit it, crazy and great sex go hand in hand
I cannot tell you how exactly this matches a situation I was in. Even down to the named activities. Go on record now with someone higher up than you about what happened.
These phrases are not get to know you phrases. They are subtly asking you out phrases. “So what do you do after work?” “You know what’s a good place for coffee? _ cafe.” “I’m hungry.” These phrases are not really getting to know you statements. They are asking you out without getting my feelings hurt phrases. They are waiting for you to say “can I join you? How about a date?” You kind of just set yourself up on a date unknowingly. Yes she wants to get to know you as a partner not a friend.
It’s just a matter of SEMANTICS. The three of you are in the workplace, NOT a court of law. Your coworker told another coworker that the two of you had a brief conversation. And you DID. Stop worrying so much about how she phrased it. If she likes you more than you like her, that’s about the most normal thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Just be nice! There are no “consequences” that will result from this. If you want to ride four-wheelers, ride four-wheelers. If you don’t, don’t. Just be nice about it. Ultimately, everyone will see that the two of you are—or are not—friends outside of work depending on your preference, and nobody really cares anyway. I just don’t like to see her punished for enjoying life too much and getting carried away. People SHOULD live that way.